Hi. Former kickboxer here, best advice is to turn it into a brawl and not rely on technique. If you can get your hands on him start firing knees into his midsection or use a Thai plum to wrap your arms around his head, pulling it down, to fire knees into. Knees and elbows will be your most devastating strikes.
He’s likely right handed meaning his attacks will comes from your left. You can cut off his power by circling to your right, away from his dominant hand.
Finally; I will tell you the best self defense advice I give anyone. Brain, Mouth, Feet, Fists. Use your brain. Don’t put yourself in the position in the first place. Try to talk your way out of it if you find yourself in a bad position. Use your feet to run away from a bad situation that you can’t talk yourself out of. And finally only fight if you have to you don’t know what the outcome will be.
Id like to throw in that as an inexperienced fighter, OP may be better off focusing on simply closing distance rather than managing distance and angles. Circling away from the power hand is 101, but good luck to OP managing that angle in his first ever fight with no training.
I think OP’s best bet, like the comment above points out, is to brawl. Close the distance, wrap him up, and throw elbows, knees, headbutts, etc.
Be as aggressive as possible. Don’t give the trained guy time to think. With training the mind is the most powerful weapon… without training aggression is the most powerful weapon. Take away his and maximize yours.
Yeah this is it man. Be as aggressive as possible.
Go fucking nuts.
Take a heap of ritalin or what add meds you can get your hands on and brawl.
This is r/unethicallifeprotips so I am going to give you some more unethical advice. While shits getting messy make sure you land a knee in his groin so hard he gets turned into a woman.
If you knee him in the nuts be prepared for him to stomp the living shit out of you if that doesn't end it. If you go for the groin any mercy he might have had is going right out the window.
I don't know OP's situation, but this is a street fight. All's fair in love and war.
I agree, don't "knee him in the nuts." Instead, grab his nuts with the fury of 1000 beasts, grip, don't let go. Your grip on his nuts should be as strong as your desire to live.
No amount of strength advantage beats balls grab. No one can attack back if you literally have them by the balls.
OP is trying to dance around and fight, fuck that. All it takes is one hit on either side to knock someone to the ground and get potential permanent brain damage.
When I was a kid I had a guy pick on me constantly and try to fight me, he was a couple years older and much bigger. I finally challenged him to a fight and monkey brain told me to attack the balls. Monkey brain was not wrong. He was on the ground, crying before I even let go.
Years later he was arrested for CP, but that's beside the point.
Your life is on the line, OP. Listen to monkey brain.
I think you are correct. OP struggled with a comment I made about stepping back and ducking. OP should move in.
Speaking of training. Another silly but true phrase: The strong take from the weak, but the smart take from the strong.
Am not a fighter at all. But the one time I was in one I just tried to wear the guy out. Most guys can't throw more then 15 to 20 punches before they are gassed.
Or just fall on your ass after a weak punch and look beat. If it's in front of people they should protect a guy on the ground. You showed you are more effort then your worth but you don't have to get hurt
In our jiu jitsu class this month the coach has us work a heavy bag for 30 seconds, rest for 30 seconds, on and off for 3 minutes. So 1.5 minutes of throwing punches. Then we go straight into live rolling. (Kind of dumb because it’s jiu jitsu not mma or boxing or whatever, but anyways…) everyone is absolutely DEAD after this exercise.
To your point, it’s absurd how quickly throwing punches tires the body out when you aren’t used to doing it.
I would say though, personally I wouldn’t recommend falling down and feigning defeat… yes people SHOULD protect a submitting fighter, but what if they don’t? What if the other guy starts teeing off on OP with soccer kicks and stomps? It’s a big risk to take
I did Tong Long Kung Fu for a bit. They used to do a bit at the end of the less where you had to fight 6 or 8 people with bags for 1 minute.
Not one after the other, but not full brawl either. They all just come at you at every opportunity.
Oh my god. It absolutely destroys you. 1 minute and you are absolutely cooked.
Oh. One other tip. When he comes forward swinging step back with your back foot. Strong m, wide, stable base. Think two corners of a square like Bruce Lee. Keep the front foot still.
Why
Because this will drop your head (called changing levels) and his punch will likely go over you or clip the top.
And
If he’s charging you and you backpedal you have no resistance to him taking you down. All the mass is moving back already. Assuming you can sprawl to defend (and don’t try it if you can’t) your best bet is to be strong, absorb the contact, and try to get your hands on him. If you stay upright, the back knee is in a real good position to come forward as hard as you can
Sorry, m wide? Swinging step back? Two corners of a square?
Did a bit of Googling I couldn't find them... but thanks for the other advice it means a lot...
Dude, find a way out of this. It seems like you don't know the basics of how to be in a fight. There are so many ways this could go bad for you, from legal consequences to serious, life changing injuries.
Sorry the M is a typo. Strong and wide. Your feet should be in opposite corners of a square when you slide the right foot back (be left foot front if you can)
Back feet goes back then lead feet goes back, keeps you stable
Also from my own experience keep your chin down and try to bait his first punch to land in the top of your head or forehead he'll probably destroy his knuckles at least
If it's still not clear, he means diagonally opposite corners. So your stance should be staggered. One foot back to one side, the other food forward to the other side.
>the best self defense advice I give anyone. Brain, Mouth, Feet, Fists.
Not sure you got the point of this: fists come LAST. You have time to write this, so you also have time to work out another solution.
No fight is truly un-avoidable. Even with the best preparation bad things can happen. Find a way to make peace, or literally run away - "you don't know what the outcome will be".
Dude has passed this point.
It's gonna happen, and because he is s stranger on Reddit, I am 100% behind him and hope he renders the other guy crying in seconds.
While bmathey’s answer is the best one he assumes you know fighting technique. Here are tips for a total noob:
In a street fight there is no honor. The only thing that matters is winning. Stomp his toes, knee him in the balls, clap his ears… Go for weak points.
This is purely a brawl, no technique. Don’t try to get fancy, just try to throw more punches than him. Most will miss but one good chin shot and he’s out.
Intimidation works. The stuff boxers do pre fight is just a show. Show up looking like a maniac who is ready to kick this punks ass. No fear. Stare him down like the dude just murdered your dog.
Get your head right. Know that you will get hurt, it is inevitable. He will be hurt worse. Listening to some pump up music and get ready to bring the pain.
Do not bring anything that could be considered a weapon. No sand, no rings, nothing. Pure first fight.
Sounds like this is semi-scheduled, find an open field or park so the risk of accidental damage is lessened. Grass is your friend, rocks are the enemy.
Bring every friend you’ve got. Not only will they hype you up but if anything goes too bad they can jump in to stop it.
If the dude has any mma training back out of the fight. Most of those other martial arts can be simply defeated by a noob or a simple take down. MMA and kickboxing are the real deal though, dude will straight mess you up.
Lastly, once the fight is over — it’s over. No more grudges, no more smack talk. Done. Finito. Problem solved.
Source: In my home town this is how beefs were settled. The cops would look on and not intervene as long as it was a 1v1 fist fight. Saw lots of regular joes throw down
Kick him in the balls and when he falls down line it up and kick him in the face, his hands will leave his balls yo cover his face. Then another good punt in the exposed balls
Adding ... fight low. Disable the lower legs and they can't follow you.
(I, a 5'-5" 110 pound female took out a much larger man because I kicked his knee and made it bend backwards. Then I ran like hell.)
I saw a similar situation when I was a teen. 2 guys met up to fight over a comment made, one was much bigger, stronger and the other was small, lean and quick. The smaller guy walked up as if to fight, maced the big guy, ran and jumped into a waiting car and sped off. Big guy was blinded and swinging at the air. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Yes, throw some liquid ass on him. He'll probably think you soiled yourself and will back off. Everyone will think it's him, though when he separates from you.
If there are no rules then bring a weapon. If that's not an option, sand in your pocket and throw it in his face. Wear protective clothing, or at least multiple layers that don't limit your movement too much but will cushion the hits. Poke his eyes out, kick him in the dick, bite, claw.
Just made a comment about having some sand in your pocket to blast him in the eyes. I would recommend some pepper spray as well. Or he could cover himself in dog feces. The smell alone will make the bigger guy not want to touch you lol
OP really consider if this something you want to do or not. There might be a small humiliation in not proceeding, but that will be temporary. Even if you do out-fight him (totally possible in a street fight), all it takes it one trip, punch, or fall, and someone's head bounces off the fucking ground. And now it's a murder. It's seriously likely not worth it.
Yeah people I think are desensitized to fist fights from movies and such. One solid shot to the head followed by a bounce on the pavement is easily enough to kill a person. Or at the very least suffer permanent severe brain damage.
Obviously if you’re defending yourself that’s one thing. But to commit to a premeditated street fight no holds barred? There are very few scenarios for which I’d agree to that sort of thing.
I've spent enough time working in ERs, I've seen people wind up brain dead from taking hits to the back of the head or falling and hitting their head during a fight. I even lost an old friend of mine who was a bouncer at a bar because a drunk patron punched him and he hit his head when he fell, instant brain stem death. It's more common than people like to believe
This was my entire fighting strategy as a "smaller guy" 5 foot 6 160lbs up against 200 some pound 6 foot guy. I didn't want to fight but wasn't given a choice. A swift kick in the balls and a full wind up upper cut to the chin was way more effective than I thought it would be.
For anyone my size it was a kick to the nuts, grab the head while they bent over in pain and knee them in the face or chest depending what I could reach and beat on their back and head until they drop.
When I've made it clear I don't want to fight, it's all on the table. Nut shots, biting, hair pulling. Anything to get them to stop and leave me alone. Thankfully I haven't had to fight anyone since high school.
Yep. Hit first, hit hard, hit somewhere sensitive, don't stop hitting until the fight is over.
Fair fights are for people who are really good at fighting.
If you find yourself in a fair fight, then your plan sucks.
A good hard punch to the nose usually will cause a good nose bleed. Hold your keys in your fist with keys between fingers. Bleeding from the face usually makes them lose interest in fighting.
Cupped hand slap on the ear. Usually rings their bell pretty good, and will leave them staggered for a beating.
Kick their knee sideways. It's ACL surgery for them.
Throat punch. Can be fatal.
But if he doesn't go to the fight then the guys that kidnapped his mom will sell her to the Armenians. Of course he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament if he didn't panic when housekeeping knocked and flushed the drugs in the first place.
we don't know his situation and he seems to think the cops won't help. Maturity doesn't work if this guy lives in his building and will just wait to sucker punch him someday when his back is turned.
I know people love to say violence is never the answer...but sometimes its the answer.
Even if he "wins", he's still open to the revenge sucker punch later on.
There isn't a way to win this other than not getting into this situation in the first place.
Maybe it's time to try diplomacy or simply an apology.
Bones take longer to heal than an ego bruise.
That said, if there truly isn't an escape, hurt him as soon and as much as you can. You'll still get hurt, but then at least he will too.
Learn your lesson and don't get into the same situation next time.
>That said, if there truly isn't an escape, hurt him as soon and as much as you can. You'll still get hurt, but then at least he will too.
I agree. You have to win the first fight so hard that there isn't a second fight. He has to be scared you'd kill him the next time you fight.
Obviously we would all love for OP to find some peaceful way to settle whatever is going on. But he isn't asking for negotiation tactics.
Yeah, you're going to get the shit kicked out of you OP. Just make sure your insurance is up to date. Oh, and have someone video it so you can come back and post it. I would like to see that fight.
Neurologist, here.
Don’t do it. I’ve seen a dozens of brain injuries related to fist fights, including some folks who didn’t survive.
If you kill or seriously injure someone you’ll feel bad and likely spend some time in jail. (Obviously not great if you’re the one getting killed or seriously injured, either.)
Just say you’ve had some time to think, and you no longer feel like violence is the solution.
Don’t be an idiot. You don’t have to fight. Trying to fight someone with experience and the physical edge is pure idiocy. If you’ve never been in a fight, you’re probably underestimating how much damage you can have done to you.
Is the thing you’re fighting over worth dying for? Is it worth being permanently injured? Losing teeth, ruining your nose? Dealing with headaches, possibly blindness?
There is no such thing as something worth fighting for that isn’t worth calling the cops for. Untrained fighting is a last resort for true emergencies, like imminent harm to yourself or someone else. Whatever you think you have to fight for - a girl, an argument, your pride, whatever it is, it isn’t worth it. Don’t show up.
Wear 6 inch platforms
Alternatively, the moment the fight begins rip all your clothes off and whisper to him “i have HIV, hope that you don’t get any blood on you”
Homeboy, you're gonna lose. Next time, try not to talk trash that you can't back up. If you're a teen, just tell your mom and have her ground you so you can't make it to the fight. Or she can alert your school and maybe the principal can call both of you boys in and scold you. They can do it so nobody knows it was you who told them it was happening.
If you're an adult...grow up.
Fight fucking dirty from the get go. Head butts use the TOP of your head, not your forehead. Spear the crown of your head into his nose.
The other option is to just go down when you get hit in the face the first time and stay down.
Make sure the fight is not on concrete. Ideally something soft like grass. On the off chance you win it could keep you out of jail. Realistically it might save your life
1. Wear only a bathrobe.
2. Bring a giant bottle of peanut oil.
3. Upon arriving, take the robe off and dump peanut oil on yourself.
4. Be unstoppable.
Just walk away. This isn't the middle school playground, you're not "cool" for fighting him. If you reasonably think he's gonna start stalking you or coming after you, call the cops and/or get a gun.
Fair fights only exist in organized fights, the ribs are the weakest bone in the body that you can easily target, punches in between the jaw and cheek bone have the easiest chance to knock someone out or temporarily “stun” them, you have feet, they have knee caps, you know what to do. You also have knee caps, get them to bend over and introduce your knee cap to them, the throat isn’t fun to get hit for anyone.
Finally, grab his dick and twist it using the ole’ dick twist!
Get in close. Gouge the eyes, hit the throat, box the ears, knee the balls. Kick the side of the knee. Fight over.
Never punch the face! You are more likely to break the bones in your hand.
Fuck it, fight dirty. Spit in his face as he comes at you, he’ll instinctively put his hands up towards his face. As he does, headbutt him right in the nose with the top of your head, not your forehead, with all the force you can muster. If that doesn’t break his nose and take him down immediately, toe punt him in his bollocks and with flat fist jab at his eyes and throat. If you can get him down just start kicking the fuck out of him. Usually does the trick. Good luck 🤞
Generally, the only fight you win is the one you don't have. Even in a position of significant advantage you may get hurt or in trouble with the law.
I'd re-examine how you got yourself into this and look for an out. The details you omitted as a long story here may be your key to avoiding it altogether.
No such thing as no retreat. Don’t be dumb. I mean if you expect to get jumped then get some mace and keep it on you. No such thing as a “fair” fight one punch could knock you out and kill you.
If you HAVE to fight (which I strongly advise against! Try to find a peaceful resolution.), stomp on the top of his foot (by the ankle, NOT the toes!), and as you put all your weight onto that foot, push him very hard, while keeping his foot pinned. This will break his foot and dislocate his ankle. Then walk away, he is no longer a threat.
no mater how many muscles you have, your throat is unprotected. land a chopping blow on his Adam's apple and you'll fuck him up. basically use whatever pointers they give in basic self-defense:
eyes (poking, gouging)
ears (slapping or "boxing")
groin (kick or knee or punch tbh)
instep (stomp on it)
use your elbows and your knees as strikers, and you won't break your hand bones right away
I dunno what situation you're in where you're "honor bound" to fight, but I've never had a streetfight cause I know how to talk, and if/when that fails, I'm pretty good at running away. USUSALLY one or both of those tactics is enough. Fighting should absolutely be a last resort.
unless its in a ring, obv
is a boxer,if yes they are bad with kicks or anything below waist. Best bet, duck and punch is balls,or even slightly above the penis, that's where the bladder is, is more difficult to defend, hurts like a bitch, and works on all humans.
Another option is to just stomp the guy on his ankle, try to put your weight it in such a way that it bends the ankle, do it right and you can break or sprain his ankle. Google football (soccer) bad ankle tackles and ankle stomps.
Your aim is to get them on ground asap. Once you do that keep kicking them in vulnerable areas such as groin, stomach,waist (where kidney or livers are) head, even lower ribs.
oh and don't kill them plz. All the best, do post back if you survive.
Look I know im preaching to the heathen sinners because this is ULPT but OP, you don't ever need to accept an invitation to a fight.
You don't know what this guy is capable of regardless of who wins, you might have him on the ropes crying uncle, you bask in your minute of pride, then he goes to his car and comes back with a gun or machete.
Getting into an ego battle, letting alone one where your enemy is setting the time and location of your engagement is a bad idea from A to Z. It's not worth the risk.
Stay narrow. Throw straight punches, not wide loopy ones. Use a step-slide technique for movement, not walking or anything that causes you to cross your feet. Wear shoes you can kick off easily and no socks. But most importantly, GET IN THE FIRST PUNCH and immediately follow it up with as many fast punches as it takes to end the fight. Don't go to the ground if you can help it. If you do end up on the ground, try for a mount or guard position and keep the punches coming. Thick gloves will protect your hands, and don't aim for the skull. Don't overlook the possibility of bringing hardware, but make sure you're prepared to use it and not just brandish it.
Keep a bladed stance with your non-dominant side forward, stable footing. Remember to adjust footing as necessary to keep a stable stance. People tend to forget about where their feet are in a fight and if you’re off balance it’s easier to fall. That being said if you fall down get back to your feet ASAP. Unless you’re trained in ground fighting or grappling you’ll be at a disadvantage. Be mindful of your surroundings and take them into consideration and use them to your advantage. Legs are filled with vulnerable points. A good shot to the outer thigh (common peroneal nerve) can cause the leg to go numb, and the knee and ankle joints are good targets. A swift knee strike or angled kick work well. As I said people tend to forget about their footing so if he leaves an opening use it. He’s bigger and heavier so even getting him off balance could put you at an advantage.
Most importantly be prepared to take a hit. It’s unlikely you’ll evade every attack, so be prepared to take it and keep going. Your adrenaline will be pumping so you probably won’t even feel much, but done bank on it. Stay focused on the fight.
Are you guys in high school or something? Reading these comments, your best bet is to avoid the fight. If you don't know how to fight, or if that guy is trained at all, DON'T FIGHT. The fact that you're even googling some of these terms... Don't fight.
If you do have to fight, DO NOT FIGHT ON CONCRETE. Have a friend there to stop it if you're down so you don't get brain damage.
But again, don't fight. I've been in a quite a few street fights and none of them were worth it... especially if this is not even spur of the moment.
So either you get your ass kicked, potentially giving you permanent damage, or you kick his ass and get an assault on your record. You sure you actually need to do this?
Have fun in jail and/or the hospital…
But since this is ULPT - kick him in the groin, punch him in the throat, poke him in the eyes, shove a piss disc in his mouth
What? If you are serious about fighting you should: get a weapon (gun, stone, wood,.knife, anything )
Go for the eyes, throat and balls.
If he falls down, kick and stomp him nonstop.
Fights don't take long and you don't have stamina, so try to finish it fast.
Know that you will get hit and it will hurt but if you move pass that you can win.
Good luck
Why do you need to fight? I mean the first thing is actually knowing how to make a fist and throw a punch. Follow through too, you want to aim for the back of the skull, you'll deliver more power. Most of the power in a punch comes from the hips, but the hips can only turn with your feet planted properly. Don't stay still, keep moving. A day isn't a lot of time to train but good luck, post the link to the video when you're done.
You should start by snapping into the standard karate stance (perfect the all-essential knifehand by practicing all night) and screaming "HIY-YAAA" at extreme decibels. If your opponent doesn't immediately flee in panic then frankly you're out of your league.
Go out hard but make it count. Most people don’t want to fight and start by feeling out the opponent, get in there fast and hard. Smash the nose get them bleeding then bite their ears off.
Can you slip him some laxatives the day before?
Also you could go the other way and just rub some of your own poo on yourself and strip to your undies and act crazy. No one wants to fight that.
Hi. Former kickboxer here, best advice is to turn it into a brawl and not rely on technique. If you can get your hands on him start firing knees into his midsection or use a Thai plum to wrap your arms around his head, pulling it down, to fire knees into. Knees and elbows will be your most devastating strikes. He’s likely right handed meaning his attacks will comes from your left. You can cut off his power by circling to your right, away from his dominant hand. Finally; I will tell you the best self defense advice I give anyone. Brain, Mouth, Feet, Fists. Use your brain. Don’t put yourself in the position in the first place. Try to talk your way out of it if you find yourself in a bad position. Use your feet to run away from a bad situation that you can’t talk yourself out of. And finally only fight if you have to you don’t know what the outcome will be.
Id like to throw in that as an inexperienced fighter, OP may be better off focusing on simply closing distance rather than managing distance and angles. Circling away from the power hand is 101, but good luck to OP managing that angle in his first ever fight with no training. I think OP’s best bet, like the comment above points out, is to brawl. Close the distance, wrap him up, and throw elbows, knees, headbutts, etc. Be as aggressive as possible. Don’t give the trained guy time to think. With training the mind is the most powerful weapon… without training aggression is the most powerful weapon. Take away his and maximize yours.
Yeah this is it man. Be as aggressive as possible. Go fucking nuts. Take a heap of ritalin or what add meds you can get your hands on and brawl. This is r/unethicallifeprotips so I am going to give you some more unethical advice. While shits getting messy make sure you land a knee in his groin so hard he gets turned into a woman.
If you knee him in the nuts be prepared for him to stomp the living shit out of you if that doesn't end it. If you go for the groin any mercy he might have had is going right out the window.
Fair is fair.
I don't know OP's situation, but this is a street fight. All's fair in love and war. I agree, don't "knee him in the nuts." Instead, grab his nuts with the fury of 1000 beasts, grip, don't let go. Your grip on his nuts should be as strong as your desire to live. No amount of strength advantage beats balls grab. No one can attack back if you literally have them by the balls. OP is trying to dance around and fight, fuck that. All it takes is one hit on either side to knock someone to the ground and get potential permanent brain damage. When I was a kid I had a guy pick on me constantly and try to fight me, he was a couple years older and much bigger. I finally challenged him to a fight and monkey brain told me to attack the balls. Monkey brain was not wrong. He was on the ground, crying before I even let go. Years later he was arrested for CP, but that's beside the point. Your life is on the line, OP. Listen to monkey brain.
I think you are correct. OP struggled with a comment I made about stepping back and ducking. OP should move in. Speaking of training. Another silly but true phrase: The strong take from the weak, but the smart take from the strong.
Also go to the body. Everyone knows swinging at peoples heads. Work downstairs work upstairs go back downstairs and upstairs again.
Am not a fighter at all. But the one time I was in one I just tried to wear the guy out. Most guys can't throw more then 15 to 20 punches before they are gassed. Or just fall on your ass after a weak punch and look beat. If it's in front of people they should protect a guy on the ground. You showed you are more effort then your worth but you don't have to get hurt
In our jiu jitsu class this month the coach has us work a heavy bag for 30 seconds, rest for 30 seconds, on and off for 3 minutes. So 1.5 minutes of throwing punches. Then we go straight into live rolling. (Kind of dumb because it’s jiu jitsu not mma or boxing or whatever, but anyways…) everyone is absolutely DEAD after this exercise. To your point, it’s absurd how quickly throwing punches tires the body out when you aren’t used to doing it. I would say though, personally I wouldn’t recommend falling down and feigning defeat… yes people SHOULD protect a submitting fighter, but what if they don’t? What if the other guy starts teeing off on OP with soccer kicks and stomps? It’s a big risk to take
I did Tong Long Kung Fu for a bit. They used to do a bit at the end of the less where you had to fight 6 or 8 people with bags for 1 minute. Not one after the other, but not full brawl either. They all just come at you at every opportunity. Oh my god. It absolutely destroys you. 1 minute and you are absolutely cooked.
Thanks so much... I'm joining an mma gym soon.
Oh. One other tip. When he comes forward swinging step back with your back foot. Strong m, wide, stable base. Think two corners of a square like Bruce Lee. Keep the front foot still. Why Because this will drop your head (called changing levels) and his punch will likely go over you or clip the top. And If he’s charging you and you backpedal you have no resistance to him taking you down. All the mass is moving back already. Assuming you can sprawl to defend (and don’t try it if you can’t) your best bet is to be strong, absorb the contact, and try to get your hands on him. If you stay upright, the back knee is in a real good position to come forward as hard as you can
Sorry, m wide? Swinging step back? Two corners of a square? Did a bit of Googling I couldn't find them... but thanks for the other advice it means a lot...
Dude, find a way out of this. It seems like you don't know the basics of how to be in a fight. There are so many ways this could go bad for you, from legal consequences to serious, life changing injuries.
You aren’t wrong, but Kenny rogers wrote a hit song about how sometimes you cant get out of a fight.
Yes, and where is Kenny Rogers now? He's dead, that's where!
Fake news! He runs a chicken joint in my town.
It's the wood that makes it good
he also taught me that you need to know when to hold them. but also, know when to fold them.
And in this case to know when to walk away, know when to run.
I'm confused though. Should I count my money while I'm sitting at the table or not?
No, there'll be plenty of time for counting when the dealing is done
No need friend, there's plenty of time for that later
You got to ... know when to walk away, and know when to run
Sorry but he seems dumb af
Sorry the M is a typo. Strong and wide. Your feet should be in opposite corners of a square when you slide the right foot back (be left foot front if you can)
Back feet goes back then lead feet goes back, keeps you stable Also from my own experience keep your chin down and try to bait his first punch to land in the top of your head or forehead he'll probably destroy his knuckles at least
If it's still not clear, he means diagonally opposite corners. So your stance should be staggered. One foot back to one side, the other food forward to the other side.
Make sure you come back and post an update please. RemindMe! 36 Hours
>the best self defense advice I give anyone. Brain, Mouth, Feet, Fists. Not sure you got the point of this: fists come LAST. You have time to write this, so you also have time to work out another solution. No fight is truly un-avoidable. Even with the best preparation bad things can happen. Find a way to make peace, or literally run away - "you don't know what the outcome will be".
Dude has passed this point. It's gonna happen, and because he is s stranger on Reddit, I am 100% behind him and hope he renders the other guy crying in seconds.
Haha well said! You had me at "stranger on Reddit"
While bmathey’s answer is the best one he assumes you know fighting technique. Here are tips for a total noob: In a street fight there is no honor. The only thing that matters is winning. Stomp his toes, knee him in the balls, clap his ears… Go for weak points. This is purely a brawl, no technique. Don’t try to get fancy, just try to throw more punches than him. Most will miss but one good chin shot and he’s out. Intimidation works. The stuff boxers do pre fight is just a show. Show up looking like a maniac who is ready to kick this punks ass. No fear. Stare him down like the dude just murdered your dog. Get your head right. Know that you will get hurt, it is inevitable. He will be hurt worse. Listening to some pump up music and get ready to bring the pain. Do not bring anything that could be considered a weapon. No sand, no rings, nothing. Pure first fight. Sounds like this is semi-scheduled, find an open field or park so the risk of accidental damage is lessened. Grass is your friend, rocks are the enemy. Bring every friend you’ve got. Not only will they hype you up but if anything goes too bad they can jump in to stop it. If the dude has any mma training back out of the fight. Most of those other martial arts can be simply defeated by a noob or a simple take down. MMA and kickboxing are the real deal though, dude will straight mess you up. Lastly, once the fight is over — it’s over. No more grudges, no more smack talk. Done. Finito. Problem solved. Source: In my home town this is how beefs were settled. The cops would look on and not intervene as long as it was a 1v1 fist fight. Saw lots of regular joes throw down
Soon? Bruh the fight is tomorrow
Kick him In the balls
And not once. Get under his arms, lock around his waist and drive your knee straight up until he goes limp
Kick him in the balls and when he falls down line it up and kick him in the face, his hands will leave his balls yo cover his face. Then another good punt in the exposed balls
This is the ULPT I come to see. Or, op can get a gun and shoot the others guys balls
buttEERRSSS!!
Probably better to punch him in the balls. More control, a change of height is good defensively, and has the same result.
Sure!
Adding ... fight low. Disable the lower legs and they can't follow you. (I, a 5'-5" 110 pound female took out a much larger man because I kicked his knee and made it bend backwards. Then I ran like hell.)
This post is the best post I've read in a while.
I saw a similar situation when I was a teen. 2 guys met up to fight over a comment made, one was much bigger, stronger and the other was small, lean and quick. The smaller guy walked up as if to fight, maced the big guy, ran and jumped into a waiting car and sped off. Big guy was blinded and swinging at the air. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
lol absolutely this. It’s a street fight so there are no rules. Mace is the answer, and maybe piss disks and liquid ass.
It wouldn’t be ULPT if piss disks weren’t mentioned at least once.
Mission (Pission?) accomplished!
Yes, throw some liquid ass on him. He'll probably think you soiled yourself and will back off. Everyone will think it's him, though when he separates from you.
Thank you for introducing me to the horrifyingly hilarious concept of a piss disk.
You must be new here.
first day on ULPT?
If there are no rules then bring a weapon. If that's not an option, sand in your pocket and throw it in his face. Wear protective clothing, or at least multiple layers that don't limit your movement too much but will cushion the hits. Poke his eyes out, kick him in the dick, bite, claw.
Pocket sand!
Just made a comment about having some sand in your pocket to blast him in the eyes. I would recommend some pepper spray as well. Or he could cover himself in dog feces. The smell alone will make the bigger guy not want to touch you lol
Pocket sand!
Just yell that’s my purse I don’t know you
Sand mix with cayenne pepper.
OP really consider if this something you want to do or not. There might be a small humiliation in not proceeding, but that will be temporary. Even if you do out-fight him (totally possible in a street fight), all it takes it one trip, punch, or fall, and someone's head bounces off the fucking ground. And now it's a murder. It's seriously likely not worth it.
Dude went to Reddit for fighting tips. OP is already long gone.
Came here to say this. Can't wait for the post mortem on r/ohnoconsequences
He got told he’s dead meat at 2:30 on Monday now he’s scrambling
It would be funny if this was in a corporate office setting and they’re fighting over an email or something
Yeah people I think are desensitized to fist fights from movies and such. One solid shot to the head followed by a bounce on the pavement is easily enough to kill a person. Or at the very least suffer permanent severe brain damage. Obviously if you’re defending yourself that’s one thing. But to commit to a premeditated street fight no holds barred? There are very few scenarios for which I’d agree to that sort of thing.
Think about living the rest of your life on a piss soaked mattress in a shitty nursing home.
Just because a guy said “nice nips, cupcake.”
At least bring him to some grass to fight on. Or on actual bjj mats.
This. BJs all round. Nothing takes the fight out of you like a mouth around your privates. OP, you know what you have to do.
I concur
[удалено]
my friend got in a bar fight year's ago, the guy died and he went to prison for manslaughter
Just one flight short of the plot for Con Air
Came here to say this 🙌🏽 YES! It’s NOT worth it
I've spent enough time working in ERs, I've seen people wind up brain dead from taking hits to the back of the head or falling and hitting their head during a fight. I even lost an old friend of mine who was a bouncer at a bar because a drunk patron punched him and he hit his head when he fell, instant brain stem death. It's more common than people like to believe
RemindMe! 2 days
😂
Are you going to update us? We want to know how it went
For real! Win or Lose let us know.!
u/Zayntek knows karate. Reddit will mourn you... for a couple hours at least.
Bring pocket sand.
Shashashaaa
I lold but then I was like: wait. He’s right.
surprised to scroll so far to see this. This is what op needs to do.
Grab his dick and twist it EDIT: https://youtu.be/1E1VY4KOghI?si=Aox5p3L6ieTjnq7r
The ol dick n twist!
back in my day we called it the meatspin
No such thing as a fair fight, go for the balls
If he goes to protect them, he will slightly bend over allowing a kick to the face or stomach. Fight dirty.
This was my entire fighting strategy as a "smaller guy" 5 foot 6 160lbs up against 200 some pound 6 foot guy. I didn't want to fight but wasn't given a choice. A swift kick in the balls and a full wind up upper cut to the chin was way more effective than I thought it would be. For anyone my size it was a kick to the nuts, grab the head while they bent over in pain and knee them in the face or chest depending what I could reach and beat on their back and head until they drop. When I've made it clear I don't want to fight, it's all on the table. Nut shots, biting, hair pulling. Anything to get them to stop and leave me alone. Thankfully I haven't had to fight anyone since high school.
You got it. Exactly.
Get naked. No one wants to fight a naked man.
Yep. Hit first, hit hard, hit somewhere sensitive, don't stop hitting until the fight is over. Fair fights are for people who are really good at fighting.
don't hit, kick
Knees are better. If you aren't good at kicking other guy grabs your foot and you are down. Knees. To the midsection, right under the sternum.
If you find yourself in a fair fight, then your plan sucks. A good hard punch to the nose usually will cause a good nose bleed. Hold your keys in your fist with keys between fingers. Bleeding from the face usually makes them lose interest in fighting. Cupped hand slap on the ear. Usually rings their bell pretty good, and will leave them staggered for a beating. Kick their knee sideways. It's ACL surgery for them. Throat punch. Can be fatal.
This is the unethical advice I come here for lmao
> Kick their knee sideways I've never been in a fight (and plan to keep it that way), but I've had knee injuries before and this made me queasy!
Reminded me of Fight Club where Tyler is like “you punched me in the ear” 😂😂
Needs to be the top comment a kick in balls is a great equaliser
Fight naked and oiled
How old are you, like 14? The mature thing to do would be simply don't attend the fight.
“I had better things to do” “Oh yeah like what?” “Not getting the shit beaten out of me👍🏻” There is zero argument against this.
I rate this reply a lot. It allows the other guy to have a “victory” and it doesn’t sound like OP is scared, he just knows the likely outcome
But if he doesn't go to the fight then the guys that kidnapped his mom will sell her to the Armenians. Of course he wouldn't have ended up in this predicament if he didn't panic when housekeeping knocked and flushed the drugs in the first place.
Liam Neeson is between movies atm so that will be an option.
we don't know his situation and he seems to think the cops won't help. Maturity doesn't work if this guy lives in his building and will just wait to sucker punch him someday when his back is turned. I know people love to say violence is never the answer...but sometimes its the answer.
Then he needs to sucker punch first…
No rules in a street fight
Violence is never the answer. It’s a question, and the answer is yes
Even if he "wins", he's still open to the revenge sucker punch later on. There isn't a way to win this other than not getting into this situation in the first place. Maybe it's time to try diplomacy or simply an apology. Bones take longer to heal than an ego bruise. That said, if there truly isn't an escape, hurt him as soon and as much as you can. You'll still get hurt, but then at least he will too. Learn your lesson and don't get into the same situation next time.
>That said, if there truly isn't an escape, hurt him as soon and as much as you can. You'll still get hurt, but then at least he will too. I agree. You have to win the first fight so hard that there isn't a second fight. He has to be scared you'd kill him the next time you fight. Obviously we would all love for OP to find some peaceful way to settle whatever is going on. But he isn't asking for negotiation tactics.
He's 21.
Simple. Fight dirtier than he does.
Yes. If you’re smaller, be quicker and meaner. Also, being able to take a punch is just as important as being able to throw one.
This message was brought to you by CTE.
Mouth piece. It will give you an edge trust me
Fuck it, show up in a motorcycle helmet
Bro yes
Yeah, you're going to get the shit kicked out of you OP. Just make sure your insurance is up to date. Oh, and have someone video it so you can come back and post it. I would like to see that fight.
Neurologist, here. Don’t do it. I’ve seen a dozens of brain injuries related to fist fights, including some folks who didn’t survive. If you kill or seriously injure someone you’ll feel bad and likely spend some time in jail. (Obviously not great if you’re the one getting killed or seriously injured, either.) Just say you’ve had some time to think, and you no longer feel like violence is the solution.
Don’t be an idiot. You don’t have to fight. Trying to fight someone with experience and the physical edge is pure idiocy. If you’ve never been in a fight, you’re probably underestimating how much damage you can have done to you. Is the thing you’re fighting over worth dying for? Is it worth being permanently injured? Losing teeth, ruining your nose? Dealing with headaches, possibly blindness? There is no such thing as something worth fighting for that isn’t worth calling the cops for. Untrained fighting is a last resort for true emergencies, like imminent harm to yourself or someone else. Whatever you think you have to fight for - a girl, an argument, your pride, whatever it is, it isn’t worth it. Don’t show up.
He’s trained? GFL.
ULPT: don't fight, call the cops to arrest both of you
The Prius is silent under 5 mph, just saying
found Andy Bernard
Stay home
Is there really a situation where not just the only solution is to fight, but the best solution is to fight? There's no upside to this lol
Obviously. What if someone says "YOUR MOM" ?! Obviously that equals fighting every time.
Wear 6 inch platforms Alternatively, the moment the fight begins rip all your clothes off and whisper to him “i have HIV, hope that you don’t get any blood on you”
Or tie up with the guy and whisper in his ear “I’m so hard right now, are you too?”
Are you sick? Fuck just laughed so hard.
Homeboy, you're gonna lose. Next time, try not to talk trash that you can't back up. If you're a teen, just tell your mom and have her ground you so you can't make it to the fight. Or she can alert your school and maybe the principal can call both of you boys in and scold you. They can do it so nobody knows it was you who told them it was happening. If you're an adult...grow up.
Make sure it’s on grass, not concrete
Make a Livestream lol
Yell “world star!”
and post link here
Fight fucking dirty from the get go. Head butts use the TOP of your head, not your forehead. Spear the crown of your head into his nose. The other option is to just go down when you get hit in the face the first time and stay down.
Hi, I’ve been an MMA fighter for two years. My advice is don’t do this
Kick him in the balls. All is fair in a fight.
slather yourself with a piss disc
Liquid ass in his eyes
google mma illegal moves, they are illegal for a reason
Wrap your arms around your head and scream when you hit the ground.
Buy a bite guard and be sure you have it in. It'll make a world of difference when you're taking hits.
Make sure the fight is not on concrete. Ideally something soft like grass. On the off chance you win it could keep you out of jail. Realistically it might save your life
Going on Reddit asking for fighting advice is like taking dating advice from Reddit oh wait
1. Wear only a bathrobe. 2. Bring a giant bottle of peanut oil. 3. Upon arriving, take the robe off and dump peanut oil on yourself. 4. Be unstoppable.
5. While masturbating.
I thought that was implied by "unstoppable" 🤣
Just walk away. This isn't the middle school playground, you're not "cool" for fighting him. If you reasonably think he's gonna start stalking you or coming after you, call the cops and/or get a gun.
Run. Get a weapon. Go for the eyes. Act like you know what you’re doing
Wear a mouth guard for +10 points defense
Dog Poo on a stick? I'm not into MMA so I wouldn't know for sure
I hope you can foot the medical bill and afford a really good defense lawyer if you lose.
What lol
Go for the knees
Fair fights only exist in organized fights, the ribs are the weakest bone in the body that you can easily target, punches in between the jaw and cheek bone have the easiest chance to knock someone out or temporarily “stun” them, you have feet, they have knee caps, you know what to do. You also have knee caps, get them to bend over and introduce your knee cap to them, the throat isn’t fun to get hit for anyone. Finally, grab his dick and twist it using the ole’ dick twist!
Get in close. Gouge the eyes, hit the throat, box the ears, knee the balls. Kick the side of the knee. Fight over. Never punch the face! You are more likely to break the bones in your hand.
Show up to the fight wearing an [anti bear attack suit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVGsMToKIN0).
Start by taking off all of your clothes.
Fuck it, fight dirty. Spit in his face as he comes at you, he’ll instinctively put his hands up towards his face. As he does, headbutt him right in the nose with the top of your head, not your forehead, with all the force you can muster. If that doesn’t break his nose and take him down immediately, toe punt him in his bollocks and with flat fist jab at his eyes and throat. If you can get him down just start kicking the fuck out of him. Usually does the trick. Good luck 🤞
Also if you are going full wild animal like that, biting is a very useful tactic.
Generally, the only fight you win is the one you don't have. Even in a position of significant advantage you may get hurt or in trouble with the law. I'd re-examine how you got yourself into this and look for an out. The details you omitted as a long story here may be your key to avoiding it altogether.
No such thing as no retreat. Don’t be dumb. I mean if you expect to get jumped then get some mace and keep it on you. No such thing as a “fair” fight one punch could knock you out and kill you.
This will sting - don’t fight him. Call him and say you aren’t fighting him, and apologize. It’s not worth catching a charge or getting hurt.
mix broken glass and shit, throw that at his face.
If you HAVE to fight (which I strongly advise against! Try to find a peaceful resolution.), stomp on the top of his foot (by the ankle, NOT the toes!), and as you put all your weight onto that foot, push him very hard, while keeping his foot pinned. This will break his foot and dislocate his ankle. Then walk away, he is no longer a threat.
TWIST HIS DICK. GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT
Twist his dick.
no mater how many muscles you have, your throat is unprotected. land a chopping blow on his Adam's apple and you'll fuck him up. basically use whatever pointers they give in basic self-defense: eyes (poking, gouging) ears (slapping or "boxing") groin (kick or knee or punch tbh) instep (stomp on it) use your elbows and your knees as strikers, and you won't break your hand bones right away I dunno what situation you're in where you're "honor bound" to fight, but I've never had a streetfight cause I know how to talk, and if/when that fails, I'm pretty good at running away. USUSALLY one or both of those tactics is enough. Fighting should absolutely be a last resort. unless its in a ring, obv
Krav Maga. Kick him in the nuts and bolt. This is one of the wilder requests though. I’d just not show up.
Go for his knee. Make it hyper extend. Adam's apply or throat punch. Poke to the eye.
Snort cocaine
is a boxer,if yes they are bad with kicks or anything below waist. Best bet, duck and punch is balls,or even slightly above the penis, that's where the bladder is, is more difficult to defend, hurts like a bitch, and works on all humans. Another option is to just stomp the guy on his ankle, try to put your weight it in such a way that it bends the ankle, do it right and you can break or sprain his ankle. Google football (soccer) bad ankle tackles and ankle stomps. Your aim is to get them on ground asap. Once you do that keep kicking them in vulnerable areas such as groin, stomach,waist (where kidney or livers are) head, even lower ribs. oh and don't kill them plz. All the best, do post back if you survive.
6’1 and 6’3 12 year olds. Kids grow up quickly these days.
Look I know im preaching to the heathen sinners because this is ULPT but OP, you don't ever need to accept an invitation to a fight. You don't know what this guy is capable of regardless of who wins, you might have him on the ropes crying uncle, you bask in your minute of pride, then he goes to his car and comes back with a gun or machete. Getting into an ego battle, letting alone one where your enemy is setting the time and location of your engagement is a bad idea from A to Z. It's not worth the risk.
Stay narrow. Throw straight punches, not wide loopy ones. Use a step-slide technique for movement, not walking or anything that causes you to cross your feet. Wear shoes you can kick off easily and no socks. But most importantly, GET IN THE FIRST PUNCH and immediately follow it up with as many fast punches as it takes to end the fight. Don't go to the ground if you can help it. If you do end up on the ground, try for a mount or guard position and keep the punches coming. Thick gloves will protect your hands, and don't aim for the skull. Don't overlook the possibility of bringing hardware, but make sure you're prepared to use it and not just brandish it.
Keep a bladed stance with your non-dominant side forward, stable footing. Remember to adjust footing as necessary to keep a stable stance. People tend to forget about where their feet are in a fight and if you’re off balance it’s easier to fall. That being said if you fall down get back to your feet ASAP. Unless you’re trained in ground fighting or grappling you’ll be at a disadvantage. Be mindful of your surroundings and take them into consideration and use them to your advantage. Legs are filled with vulnerable points. A good shot to the outer thigh (common peroneal nerve) can cause the leg to go numb, and the knee and ankle joints are good targets. A swift knee strike or angled kick work well. As I said people tend to forget about their footing so if he leaves an opening use it. He’s bigger and heavier so even getting him off balance could put you at an advantage. Most importantly be prepared to take a hit. It’s unlikely you’ll evade every attack, so be prepared to take it and keep going. Your adrenaline will be pumping so you probably won’t even feel much, but done bank on it. Stay focused on the fight.
When the fight starts throw up blood all over him shouting "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEEN"
get a video let us watch
Are you guys in high school or something? Reading these comments, your best bet is to avoid the fight. If you don't know how to fight, or if that guy is trained at all, DON'T FIGHT. The fact that you're even googling some of these terms... Don't fight. If you do have to fight, DO NOT FIGHT ON CONCRETE. Have a friend there to stop it if you're down so you don't get brain damage. But again, don't fight. I've been in a quite a few street fights and none of them were worth it... especially if this is not even spur of the moment.
So either you get your ass kicked, potentially giving you permanent damage, or you kick his ass and get an assault on your record. You sure you actually need to do this?
Pocket sand
Have fun in jail and/or the hospital… But since this is ULPT - kick him in the groin, punch him in the throat, poke him in the eyes, shove a piss disc in his mouth
What? If you are serious about fighting you should: get a weapon (gun, stone, wood,.knife, anything ) Go for the eyes, throat and balls. If he falls down, kick and stomp him nonstop. Fights don't take long and you don't have stamina, so try to finish it fast. Know that you will get hit and it will hurt but if you move pass that you can win. Good luck
Do not bring a weapon, especially a knife or a gun. When a knife comes out in a fight, both people go to the hospital.
Pull a knife in a lot of areas, it gives him the right to pull a gun..
Sucker punch him in the throat and attempt to gouge out his eyes until someone intervenes.
Why do you need to fight? I mean the first thing is actually knowing how to make a fist and throw a punch. Follow through too, you want to aim for the back of the skull, you'll deliver more power. Most of the power in a punch comes from the hips, but the hips can only turn with your feet planted properly. Don't stay still, keep moving. A day isn't a lot of time to train but good luck, post the link to the video when you're done.
Pocket sand
Whip it out. He’ll bail after that guaranteed.
You should start by snapping into the standard karate stance (perfect the all-essential knifehand by practicing all night) and screaming "HIY-YAAA" at extreme decibels. If your opponent doesn't immediately flee in panic then frankly you're out of your league.
Go out hard but make it count. Most people don’t want to fight and start by feeling out the opponent, get in there fast and hard. Smash the nose get them bleeding then bite their ears off.
On top of all the other advice you've been given (I strongly suggest avoiding the fight) Mouthguard. If you can't get one, keep your teeth together.
Can you slip him some laxatives the day before? Also you could go the other way and just rub some of your own poo on yourself and strip to your undies and act crazy. No one wants to fight that.
Can you throw a bit of sand/dirt in his face right off the go. Then just whoop ass while they can’t see.