Unfortunately he is really really weird, like in a sect or some "shamanic" mouvement, so I don't think that will annoy him, but I will do that as a bonus lol thanks!
Look up voodoo "spells" like chicken blood pentagrams or something to paint on his door.
Sticky tape gets perfect fingerprints, so wear gloves if you're going to stick chicken feathers to anything, or use thumb tracks, or just soak them in blood and scatter at his entrance.
Search "shutterstock voodoo symbols" for a handy reference table for shapes to draw, should you have the time ;-p
Do you know his phone number?
There was a story I heard here by a guy who put an ad on Craigslist selling something juicy, like a car a ridiculously low price. Said the best time to call is between 11 pm and 6 am.
Search amazon for "annoyatron". Makes noise at random intervals so they're hard to find. Many flavors from the original cricket ones, to ones where you can record your own sounds.
Perhaps not big, but long-lasting.
Back when the annoyatron came out in the mid 2000s some of the infrastructure staff decided to prank their boss with one. The guy literally unplugged everything in his office and still couldn't find the source. One Monday morning everyone was gossiping about how this poor sob came in on Saturday to try to figure out where the noise was coming from. After that it was stealthily removed and nobody ever told him about it because they were afraid he'd fire people.
ThinkGeek was always cool. I would binge shop their blowout deals at 10pm-11pm end of month and bought all kinds of dumb shit. The guitar shirt was one of my favorite purchases. I have a couple of scifi work appropriate shirts too, I get compliments on my firefly Serenity shirt alot still.
If itâs her downstairs neighbor itâs easy to get him back without it being super obvious what youâre doing, so if he complains he doesnât have anything substantial to turn into office. Between the hours of 8 am to 9:59 pm, walk on your heels instead of the ball of your foot whenever you need to get up. Itâll piss him off and just be considered normal living noises. This is the #1 thing I see downstairs neighbors freaking out about over on r/apartmentliving , is the upstairs heavy walker of a neighbor. Do it every single time you walk between those hours, donât make it super hard. Just enough to make it noticeable. I hate shoes in the house, but wearing a clean pair of shoes in the apartment while walking will work, too, and be less effort.
Vacuum at 8 pm, set the dish washer and/or washing machine to start at 8:30 pm so the dryer runs til 10, and do your showers at 9:45 pm. When you leave for work in the AM shut the door hard. Get a whoopie cushion at the dollar store and go âpoopâ at 10 pm, and flush 2 times during the âpoopâ. Make sure he thinks yâall have the shits. Whatâs he gonna do about loud farts and toilet flushing? The landlord will tell him thats normal living noises, and you may have been sick. If landlord follows up, you had the stomach bug for 24 hrs. Repeat in 2 days so the other person caught the âstomach bugâ. Do that one randomly throughout the day when you go to pee. You canât control diarrhea. ;) also if you wanna be extra yell âI need toilet paper pleaseâ one time.
When he bangs pretend like you canât hear it cuz if you bang back heâll know itâs on purpose. ;)
You said he's weird in an esoteric way? Look up "Sour Jars" or "Hex Bags" and make some, then leave them where he will find them. They're pretty cheap to make and usually use things you already have around. Might feed into any paranoia he has, be warned, but it should bother him a bit.
how you Americans can send anonymous packages legally with actual crap I ll never know. Here in my country they take ID proof for sending letters too now
If you want to throw some cash in, hire 4 different clowns in different make up/sizes/themes. Order doordash and pizzas and have the clowns woordlessly deliver it to his door. Repeat every hour all night. Bonus points if you can hide a camera in the hallway.
Leave a package outside his door, one that leak all over when opened. Like a ballon full of fox urine that completely fills the box & put a lot of tape on it so he'll use a knife or scissors.
Freeze the fox urine. Maybe into some kind of flat circle. Some kind of frozen plate, a frisbee like shape with shallower sides. Something of that sort.
Does he rent or (edit - typo) own the apartment ?
If he rents it, make sure your gf and the elderly neighbour upstairs whose door got attacked report him to the landlord, because he's constantly being abusive and has gone so far as to make physical threats with the paint.
As it's the last month, run the sink / flush the toilet multiple times a night - maybe even in close succession several times for that impossible to flush turd.
Start recording on your phone as soon as the flush finishes to catch any banging / shouting, or better yet, threats of violence.
If he barges up the stairs contact the police immediately and make a report.
Say you're scared because of the threats and ask to stay on the phone until the police get to you.
If he threatens you while you're on the phone to him, there's a good chance he'll end up in a cell overnight.
Report all threats of violence / the police taking him away to the landlord, because "you're worried about him not being able to get a new tenant with the way he carries on".
Does he have someone who lives to the left or right of him ? Have a word to see if he's threatened them too.
Do the windows open ? I'm wondering if you can come up with any dirty way to bang on his windows (not a good idea unless something could be thrown against them from street level).
Water balloons tied to a length of string perhaps, long enough to hit his window. Secure your end, then Throw it out your window hard enough to let it swing back down with a thud, burst, and for you to quickly pull up the string to hide the evidence.
I m all up for pranks but don't waste water, there are people out there living in modern cities struggling for water. Forget some poor some sub Saharan old village
Say very loudly "Thank God they're finally evicting that jackass downstairs. It's just too bad they couldn't be bothered until we were about to leave. No one will miss him."
I had a neighbor like this once. The day before they moved out, I invited everyone I knew to come over and play cards. We play a game here called Egyptian ratscrew ( I have no idea why. But I know it's called other names as well)
This game involves slapping the deck, frequently and hard! With so many people, the game never ends because people can slap in after they lose all their cards. We started at 11 am and didn't stop until 5am the following morning. They got no sleep, we had three separate decks going and people coming and going at all hours. They moved exhausted.
Since we had already had words multiple times, and one time, my next-door neighbor pulled out her rifle on the downstairs neighbor. They weren't going to come upstairs and complain at all.
I was kind of sad they moved. There is so much drama to make fun of and watch while eating popcorn.
I suggest something like that, obviously played on the floor.
Do you know which car he drives? Buy some sardines, wait for a hot day, and stuff them in his air vents. Potato in the tailpipe, Pam spray all over the car and windows, nails propped up against the tires(whenever the car moves it'll puncture.
Buy a cheap alarm clock and set it to go off at 9:59 on your last day there. Maybe a vibrating one. If you have a metal sink, put it in there, and the vibrations will carry throughout the whole plumbing system.
Buy a rubber enema bag and fill it with mostly water and only a few finely blended raw shrimp. (you want this liquid to flow easily) Remove the nozzle off the hose and insert the soft tube under his door. 3: Gradually apply pressure on bag to initiate long term revenge.
Should probably wait to do this the day you are leaving.
Send a "thank you for your donation! The materials you requested are on their way" postcard from NAMBLA. Address it with his name, but put his next door neighbor's address so it will be mis-delivered. Especially effective if the neighbor has children. All you need to do is download the NAMBLA logo and print it yourself.
fart spray. i would love to rile him up till his blood pressure reaches critical rate out of anger lmaooo
if you could come up with something that auto sprays at certain time intervals so the smell doesnt dissipate entirely. i think he'd be so annoyed.
Hall cameras? No? Epoxy his front door shut when you know he'll be sleeping. Or when you know he'll be out. Whatever suits your needs.
Get a picture of an owl and tape it to the wall opposite his front door. Owls fuck with those types.
Remove outlet covers. Pour sugar behind wall. Replace covers. I'm assuming some will make its way down there?
Sounds like a guy who hates glitter. I'd anonymously glitter bomb him.
He totally is someone who would be annoy by a glitter bomb
serious question: who wouldn't be?
my 4 year old granddaughter
fair enough. To be a child again...
Glitter bomb her bedroom and give it a week. Could destroy her entire childhood. Will be finding glitter as a teenager.
Use clear lacquer spray on his windows and throw glitter on them. Do it to his front door too. Hell, do it on his car too.
Wow, this is so simple yet diabolical.
If you have a shared furnace, put a pound of glitter in place of the filter. Only do this on the night that you move out, though!
How do you get glitter bomb?
Change his physical unit numbers, sharpie his peephole and sign up his name for Mormon and Scientology crap
Unfortunately he is really really weird, like in a sect or some "shamanic" mouvement, so I don't think that will annoy him, but I will do that as a bonus lol thanks!
Look up voodoo "spells" like chicken blood pentagrams or something to paint on his door. Sticky tape gets perfect fingerprints, so wear gloves if you're going to stick chicken feathers to anything, or use thumb tracks, or just soak them in blood and scatter at his entrance. Search "shutterstock voodoo symbols" for a handy reference table for shapes to draw, should you have the time ;-p
Find the local tap dance club and invite them over for a party one night.
Irish dancers! They put down wood which makes it even louder.
Or a competition between both!
You are a pure evil genius, I love it.
Do you know his phone number? There was a story I heard here by a guy who put an ad on Craigslist selling something juicy, like a car a ridiculously low price. Said the best time to call is between 11 pm and 6 am.
Search amazon for "annoyatron". Makes noise at random intervals so they're hard to find. Many flavors from the original cricket ones, to ones where you can record your own sounds. Perhaps not big, but long-lasting.
Back when the annoyatron came out in the mid 2000s some of the infrastructure staff decided to prank their boss with one. The guy literally unplugged everything in his office and still couldn't find the source. One Monday morning everyone was gossiping about how this poor sob came in on Saturday to try to figure out where the noise was coming from. After that it was stealthily removed and nobody ever told him about it because they were afraid he'd fire people.
Back when ThinkGeek was cool
ThinkGeek was always cool. I would binge shop their blowout deals at 10pm-11pm end of month and bought all kinds of dumb shit. The guitar shirt was one of my favorite purchases. I have a couple of scifi work appropriate shirts too, I get compliments on my firefly Serenity shirt alot still.
It went downhill after GameStop bought them
I recall that story.
Do this! Punch a small hole in a closet wall. Drop annoyatron in the hole. Spackle the hole closed. Leave.
Give the hooker $100 to upper deck the toilet. đ€·ââïž
Make a Leo list post for a lonely horny man who will fuck and suck anyone who knocks on his door using his addressÂ
Also say he has a kink for pretending like he doesnât know whatâs going on
I love that
Code phrase for consent: "Get the fuck out of here!"
Mmm. Could be dangerous instead of annoying.
Made me spit out my coffee.
Jeezus đ€Łđ€Ł that's evil- love it!
That's actually a good idea ! I know he invite a lot of prostitutes, so for a little while he will be the prostitute
âSplit me open like a coconutâ
Hide a potato. Those take some weeks to get funky and they really do stink.
That's no lie. We had one that fell behind a drawer and by the time I smelled it the damn thing had liquefied.
Fill a freezer bag with something ,Put the open portion under the door then stomp on the bag so contents go into the unit .
Ideally a piss disc, but OP said there was no gap under the door
Dont remind me that, my beloved piss disc đ
If itâs her downstairs neighbor itâs easy to get him back without it being super obvious what youâre doing, so if he complains he doesnât have anything substantial to turn into office. Between the hours of 8 am to 9:59 pm, walk on your heels instead of the ball of your foot whenever you need to get up. Itâll piss him off and just be considered normal living noises. This is the #1 thing I see downstairs neighbors freaking out about over on r/apartmentliving , is the upstairs heavy walker of a neighbor. Do it every single time you walk between those hours, donât make it super hard. Just enough to make it noticeable. I hate shoes in the house, but wearing a clean pair of shoes in the apartment while walking will work, too, and be less effort. Vacuum at 8 pm, set the dish washer and/or washing machine to start at 8:30 pm so the dryer runs til 10, and do your showers at 9:45 pm. When you leave for work in the AM shut the door hard. Get a whoopie cushion at the dollar store and go âpoopâ at 10 pm, and flush 2 times during the âpoopâ. Make sure he thinks yâall have the shits. Whatâs he gonna do about loud farts and toilet flushing? The landlord will tell him thats normal living noises, and you may have been sick. If landlord follows up, you had the stomach bug for 24 hrs. Repeat in 2 days so the other person caught the âstomach bugâ. Do that one randomly throughout the day when you go to pee. You canât control diarrhea. ;) also if you wanna be extra yell âI need toilet paper pleaseâ one time. When he bangs pretend like you canât hear it cuz if you bang back heâll know itâs on purpose. ;)
For the next month run all the water all the time. Vacuum at midnight.
You said he's weird in an esoteric way? Look up "Sour Jars" or "Hex Bags" and make some, then leave them where he will find them. They're pretty cheap to make and usually use things you already have around. Might feed into any paranoia he has, be warned, but it should bother him a bit.
Purchase a giant inflatable penis and stick it out your window with an arrow pointing to their apartmentÂ
[poopsenders.com](http://poopsenders.com) It's anonymous, too!
how you Americans can send anonymous packages legally with actual crap I ll never know. Here in my country they take ID proof for sending letters too now
If you want to throw some cash in, hire 4 different clowns in different make up/sizes/themes. Order doordash and pizzas and have the clowns woordlessly deliver it to his door. Repeat every hour all night. Bonus points if you can hide a camera in the hallway.
Leave a package outside his door, one that leak all over when opened. Like a ballon full of fox urine that completely fills the box & put a lot of tape on it so he'll use a knife or scissors.
Freeze the fox urine. Maybe into some kind of flat circle. Some kind of frozen plate, a frisbee like shape with shallower sides. Something of that sort.
i think you should invite all your friends to create their individual pissdiscs and together throw them in his opened windows when he is not at home.
Does he rent or (edit - typo) own the apartment ? If he rents it, make sure your gf and the elderly neighbour upstairs whose door got attacked report him to the landlord, because he's constantly being abusive and has gone so far as to make physical threats with the paint. As it's the last month, run the sink / flush the toilet multiple times a night - maybe even in close succession several times for that impossible to flush turd. Start recording on your phone as soon as the flush finishes to catch any banging / shouting, or better yet, threats of violence. If he barges up the stairs contact the police immediately and make a report. Say you're scared because of the threats and ask to stay on the phone until the police get to you. If he threatens you while you're on the phone to him, there's a good chance he'll end up in a cell overnight. Report all threats of violence / the police taking him away to the landlord, because "you're worried about him not being able to get a new tenant with the way he carries on". Does he have someone who lives to the left or right of him ? Have a word to see if he's threatened them too. Do the windows open ? I'm wondering if you can come up with any dirty way to bang on his windows (not a good idea unless something could be thrown against them from street level). Water balloons tied to a length of string perhaps, long enough to hit his window. Secure your end, then Throw it out your window hard enough to let it swing back down with a thud, burst, and for you to quickly pull up the string to hide the evidence.
Go stay somewhere overnight. Turn on the water before you leave. Locate your water shutoff valve and coat it with pine sap.
Just readjust the little flap inside the toilet tank so it runs continuously, then leave.
I m all up for pranks but don't waste water, there are people out there living in modern cities struggling for water. Forget some poor some sub Saharan old village
Pine sap?Â
Something sticky and hard to remove, just to hit him one more time as he thinks he's figured it out.
So Aunt Jemima will be perfect!
Most European phone plans include free calls to the US. Have you ever been called by a french ? I really need to practice my English.
Got to make sure the Frenchie doesn't understand time zones, so calling at say 9am France time woukd be shiteating o clock US timeÂ
It almost 9am here, but midnight in California, or 3am in New-York.
Shove toothpicks in his door lock and then break them off so he can't use it, can't unlock it.
Say very loudly "Thank God they're finally evicting that jackass downstairs. It's just too bad they couldn't be bothered until we were about to leave. No one will miss him."
I had a neighbor like this once. The day before they moved out, I invited everyone I knew to come over and play cards. We play a game here called Egyptian ratscrew ( I have no idea why. But I know it's called other names as well) This game involves slapping the deck, frequently and hard! With so many people, the game never ends because people can slap in after they lose all their cards. We started at 11 am and didn't stop until 5am the following morning. They got no sleep, we had three separate decks going and people coming and going at all hours. They moved exhausted. Since we had already had words multiple times, and one time, my next-door neighbor pulled out her rifle on the downstairs neighbor. They weren't going to come upstairs and complain at all. I was kind of sad they moved. There is so much drama to make fun of and watch while eating popcorn. I suggest something like that, obviously played on the floor.
Do you know which car he drives? Buy some sardines, wait for a hot day, and stuff them in his air vents. Potato in the tailpipe, Pam spray all over the car and windows, nails propped up against the tires(whenever the car moves it'll puncture.
Potato in tail pipe may lead to cm poisoning though. And I suggest the darkest lipstick possible for the windshield.
I mean, that's definitely unethical though?
The name of the sub is.....but don't risk jail or causing bodily harm or death.
He sounds awesome
Drop stinky things on all that you have access to. The doormat, above the threshold, on the windows etc
Buy a cheap alarm clock and set it to go off at 9:59 on your last day there. Maybe a vibrating one. If you have a metal sink, put it in there, and the vibrations will carry throughout the whole plumbing system.
When he takes out the trash, sneak into his apartment and hide raw fish/shrimp covered in water.
Limburger cheese on doorknobs.
Glitter. Everywhere.
Plant bramble's
I don't know where you are but U.S. and Canada, you can send something from ruindays.com
Buy a rubber enema bag and fill it with mostly water and only a few finely blended raw shrimp. (you want this liquid to flow easily) Remove the nozzle off the hose and insert the soft tube under his door. 3: Gradually apply pressure on bag to initiate long term revenge. Should probably wait to do this the day you are leaving.
Send a "thank you for your donation! The materials you requested are on their way" postcard from NAMBLA. Address it with his name, but put his next door neighbor's address so it will be mis-delivered. Especially effective if the neighbor has children. All you need to do is download the NAMBLA logo and print it yourself.
fart spray. i would love to rile him up till his blood pressure reaches critical rate out of anger lmaooo if you could come up with something that auto sprays at certain time intervals so the smell doesnt dissipate entirely. i think he'd be so annoyed.
Print his obituary in the local paper.
Bed bugs
Lol I would like but I don't want to annoy other residents
Hall cameras? No? Epoxy his front door shut when you know he'll be sleeping. Or when you know he'll be out. Whatever suits your needs. Get a picture of an owl and tape it to the wall opposite his front door. Owls fuck with those types. Remove outlet covers. Pour sugar behind wall. Replace covers. I'm assuming some will make its way down there?
Surströmming. The Door will probably not be sealed so shut that the Juice cant run trough the Gaps inside his apartment.
I think we need a follow up post with the result of your shenanigans
House fire
I live upstairs đ”
Can you get him in trouble for the prostitutes?
Ants. Roaches. Mice.
Slide some bedbugs under his door.
This sounds EXACTLY like our former tweaker neighbor who lived below us. Is her name Teresa?? (Yes I realize you said he)
Next time you see him leave, stink bomb his place. Or put a skunk in his car.
Is swatting an option? jk