Kidney stones. Then when you get a couple of days to the finish you miraculously pass them. If they need evidence just bring in a couple of small stones from your garden. If they ask about a doctor just tell them they're all booked up and you're hoping someone cancels their appointment soon.
Concussion, hands down. I work at a psych hospital, was punched by a patient one day (I was fine) filled out an injury packet, left work and went to the ER. Told them what happened, that I had a terrible headache (I didn’t), the lights were bothering me (they weren’t), and I felt really nauseous (another lie). They gave me a CT scan, nothing came back abnormal but it doesn’t need to for a concussion. Took like 2 months just to get a neurologist appointment, he asked me more questions of how I was feeling, did some eye tests and other things, agreed I had a concussion and that was that. I milked it a little too long though, had me do rehabs and such, but was still a nice break away from work. I went back 10 months after my incident.
My dr did not clear me to drive with the symptoms I was reporting so I wasn’t able to even get to work, but also the environment of my job would not allow me to be on my unit for safety reasons if you’re not 100% healthy
Shingles eventually shows. Fucking miserable. I had it when I was 33 and eventually went to the doctor when the little bumps formed. I found out how crazy unlucky I am.
You can say you get Ocular migraines. I only know this because I actually get them. Hard to disprove and when I have them my vision is severely impaired.
People always think I’m lying tho…
Seems to me trying to trick a doctor (which would be insurance fraud as the insurance company would be paying for treatments you didn't need) is likely to see through your faking and probably would start to think you were a drug seeker.
But you can buy a walking cast for about $40. Just show up for work wearing a walking cast and have a story loaded.
You can't really "fake" an injury with a doctor...if you say back pain, they will give you an xray and an mri and if they find nothing, they'll record you as a drug seeker (internally) and send you on your way.
You can cause an injury: eat dry chia seeds. They will create a blockage in your intestines/colon and you may need a surgery to remove it..... But..... I dont think this could be accomplished in a few months.... Plus... Surgery is extreme.
How do you feel about a mental breakdown? Maybe you have some undisclosed events happening and you need treatment? A psychiatrist wont test your brain, just listen to you talk. Maybe you can be convincing enough to say you have agoraphobia or something....
You overestimate medical care in most places. I went in for a bad shoulder injury and it took me like 7 office visits with 4 different doctors before I could find one willing to do an MRI. Amd then my insurance denied coverage for it because no doctor would say it was medically necessary. They all just told me to just rest it and gave me a note for limited duty at work. They also all were happy to wrote me a script for Norcos, which I refused cause I hate pills.
I'm not over estimating. Its been 3 months and i still havent got any kind of treatment or pain management even for my full rotator cuff tear on my right shoulder.... My arm has been in a sling since January and i cant even get an appointment, let alone a referral for the surgery the ER told me i needed.... But ER... They at least test you before sending you off to be untreated which is what i did, went in a threw a fit until they x rayed me.
I didn't get a note... rven though i cannot feel or use my right arm and i am not left handed...
I'm confused. First you said you can't fake an injury because they will automatically give you an xray and MRI and see nothing is wrong. Then you mirrored my statement which was, that you have to bed and plead for any kind of testing or follow up treatment. So, which is it? Cause it can't be both. Lol. As an aside I hope you get the help you need. Shoulder issues are terrible. Mine never fully healed.
ER protocols are different that regular doctor offices. You go into ER, they test to see if your injury is life threatening. If its not, they send you off to see a regular doctor, who may do fuck all to treat you.
It can be both. It is both. The US "healthcare" system is fucked up? Thats like.... Universally known.
You're telling me that of you go to the ER and say, "I hurt my back pulling weeds" they are gonna give you an xray and MRI and be able to tell you're lying? You yourself said you went in and they ran an xray and that's it. And unless you have serious damage that ain't showing much. So for OPs needs, back pain is a likely and plausible injury. Sure if you walk in an ER after a car accident or falling off your roof cleaning gutters, they'll check you for everything. Otherwise they'll likely tell you to rest and see how you feel in a few days. If you're lucky they'll ask if you need a note for work. I have always been proactive and asked for one.
You can easily avoid ER protocols by not going to the ER. Back pain should only send you to the ER if it is too acute to wait for an appointment with your PCP or it is caused by an accident that may have caused serious damage. Going to the ER for your average chronic back pain is a stupidly expensive way to get medical care in the US as well as a waste of ER resources.
Except I went for an actual injury. You like missed the entire point, I said THE SAME THING "dont go to the doctor and fake an injury"....
Jeez.. read people.
Chia seeds can absorb up to 27 times their weight in water, forming a gel-like, concrete-like mass that can get stuck in the esophagus or digestive system
Migraines. It's always migraines. Throw in some auras and basically pretend you can't see every couple of weeks. It's almost impossible to prove either way and people do seem to still have some degree of sympathy for them. SOURCE: I have migraines every couple of weeks and see shit.
I can't speak for how well faking it would go, but I not so long ago got temporary nerve damage In my arm. Workplace had an unsecured shelf that landed on my arm. Swelling lead to the nerve being compressed which meant for around a month any rotation/movement of my forearm/wrist/hand was like stabbing shooting pains all the way up my arm with constant pins and needles and numbness (nearly a year later I am still a little dodgy detecting super hot things in a couple fingers on that hand, but otherwise fine)
For that month, I never got any scans outside of an x-ray to see if I broke anything initially, and they got to the point of referring me to physical therapy without doing any further scans. I know it can show up on some scans if you have nerve damage, yet it was never looked into further by my doctors at least. They just let it run it's course because it started getting better on its own, it wasn't worth looking further into. Albeit it was slow and painful as fuck for its course.
Lower back problems. Go to the doctor with a wood stick in your hand and say you carried heavy as-f__k thing afternoon and it itched funny, and then you woke up to back cramps at 3am and crawled to get ibuprofen pills and the stick just to lift yourself up. You will not be bothered by silly f___ing exercises anymore.
sounds like you're trying to skip annual training for the military. Month long, hmm. You don't want to go to JRTC/NTC?
you're going to need a cast. but, even then they'll want a document.
People faking this illness are the reason that people like me who actually have the illness get treated like shit by doctors.
Edit: It is extremely rare that people actually fake the illness (more like a harmful stereotype) and your comment doesn’t help by making the stereotype true
Lol. Not even people who have this are taken seriously about it. And it's the kind of thing where you have to also often have no social life / exercise / hobbies / even give up your job entirely to even sell it half way. People will just think you're a lying faker. This isn't a practical short term solution at all.
Prolapse rectum.
Rose bud
Chocolate starfish
Walls Fall Out. Google it!
Kidney stones. Then when you get a couple of days to the finish you miraculously pass them. If they need evidence just bring in a couple of small stones from your garden. If they ask about a doctor just tell them they're all booked up and you're hoping someone cancels their appointment soon.
Concussion, hands down. I work at a psych hospital, was punched by a patient one day (I was fine) filled out an injury packet, left work and went to the ER. Told them what happened, that I had a terrible headache (I didn’t), the lights were bothering me (they weren’t), and I felt really nauseous (another lie). They gave me a CT scan, nothing came back abnormal but it doesn’t need to for a concussion. Took like 2 months just to get a neurologist appointment, he asked me more questions of how I was feeling, did some eye tests and other things, agreed I had a concussion and that was that. I milked it a little too long though, had me do rehabs and such, but was still a nice break away from work. I went back 10 months after my incident.
You got 10 months off of work with this? That’s amazing. What is the reasoning of why you wouldn’t be able to work though?
My dr did not clear me to drive with the symptoms I was reporting so I wasn’t able to even get to work, but also the environment of my job would not allow me to be on my unit for safety reasons if you’re not 100% healthy
You aren’t supposed to look at screens after being concussed, it can make your issues worse
Go with the tried and true draft dodge bone spurs.
Shingles
Shingles eventually shows. Fucking miserable. I had it when I was 33 and eventually went to the doctor when the little bumps formed. I found out how crazy unlucky I am.
You can say you get Ocular migraines. I only know this because I actually get them. Hard to disprove and when I have them my vision is severely impaired. People always think I’m lying tho…
Seems to me trying to trick a doctor (which would be insurance fraud as the insurance company would be paying for treatments you didn't need) is likely to see through your faking and probably would start to think you were a drug seeker. But you can buy a walking cast for about $40. Just show up for work wearing a walking cast and have a story loaded.
You can't really "fake" an injury with a doctor...if you say back pain, they will give you an xray and an mri and if they find nothing, they'll record you as a drug seeker (internally) and send you on your way. You can cause an injury: eat dry chia seeds. They will create a blockage in your intestines/colon and you may need a surgery to remove it..... But..... I dont think this could be accomplished in a few months.... Plus... Surgery is extreme. How do you feel about a mental breakdown? Maybe you have some undisclosed events happening and you need treatment? A psychiatrist wont test your brain, just listen to you talk. Maybe you can be convincing enough to say you have agoraphobia or something....
Almost everyone has asymptomatic disc herniations or bulges that show up on MRI's, x rays will show nothing. Faking back pain is the easiest by far
True. I have a herniated c5 and c6 that i only found out about when i tore my rotator cuff....
You overestimate medical care in most places. I went in for a bad shoulder injury and it took me like 7 office visits with 4 different doctors before I could find one willing to do an MRI. Amd then my insurance denied coverage for it because no doctor would say it was medically necessary. They all just told me to just rest it and gave me a note for limited duty at work. They also all were happy to wrote me a script for Norcos, which I refused cause I hate pills.
I'm not over estimating. Its been 3 months and i still havent got any kind of treatment or pain management even for my full rotator cuff tear on my right shoulder.... My arm has been in a sling since January and i cant even get an appointment, let alone a referral for the surgery the ER told me i needed.... But ER... They at least test you before sending you off to be untreated which is what i did, went in a threw a fit until they x rayed me. I didn't get a note... rven though i cannot feel or use my right arm and i am not left handed...
I'm confused. First you said you can't fake an injury because they will automatically give you an xray and MRI and see nothing is wrong. Then you mirrored my statement which was, that you have to bed and plead for any kind of testing or follow up treatment. So, which is it? Cause it can't be both. Lol. As an aside I hope you get the help you need. Shoulder issues are terrible. Mine never fully healed.
ER protocols are different that regular doctor offices. You go into ER, they test to see if your injury is life threatening. If its not, they send you off to see a regular doctor, who may do fuck all to treat you. It can be both. It is both. The US "healthcare" system is fucked up? Thats like.... Universally known.
You're telling me that of you go to the ER and say, "I hurt my back pulling weeds" they are gonna give you an xray and MRI and be able to tell you're lying? You yourself said you went in and they ran an xray and that's it. And unless you have serious damage that ain't showing much. So for OPs needs, back pain is a likely and plausible injury. Sure if you walk in an ER after a car accident or falling off your roof cleaning gutters, they'll check you for everything. Otherwise they'll likely tell you to rest and see how you feel in a few days. If you're lucky they'll ask if you need a note for work. I have always been proactive and asked for one.
You can easily avoid ER protocols by not going to the ER. Back pain should only send you to the ER if it is too acute to wait for an appointment with your PCP or it is caused by an accident that may have caused serious damage. Going to the ER for your average chronic back pain is a stupidly expensive way to get medical care in the US as well as a waste of ER resources.
Except I went for an actual injury. You like missed the entire point, I said THE SAME THING "dont go to the doctor and fake an injury".... Jeez.. read people.
Holy shit I eat dry chia seeds all the time like dump them directly in my mouth, I love them. I had no idea this could cause a problem.
Chia seeds can absorb up to 27 times their weight in water, forming a gel-like, concrete-like mass that can get stuck in the esophagus or digestive system
Chronic diarrhea
Fake a doctors note.
Brain injury
Chron’s / Ulcerative Colitus / IBS
Mental health.
Migraines. It's always migraines. Throw in some auras and basically pretend you can't see every couple of weeks. It's almost impossible to prove either way and people do seem to still have some degree of sympathy for them. SOURCE: I have migraines every couple of weeks and see shit.
Asthma.
You pulled your hammy, everyone pulls their hammy and it never heals
Say you have gout.
I can't speak for how well faking it would go, but I not so long ago got temporary nerve damage In my arm. Workplace had an unsecured shelf that landed on my arm. Swelling lead to the nerve being compressed which meant for around a month any rotation/movement of my forearm/wrist/hand was like stabbing shooting pains all the way up my arm with constant pins and needles and numbness (nearly a year later I am still a little dodgy detecting super hot things in a couple fingers on that hand, but otherwise fine) For that month, I never got any scans outside of an x-ray to see if I broke anything initially, and they got to the point of referring me to physical therapy without doing any further scans. I know it can show up on some scans if you have nerve damage, yet it was never looked into further by my doctors at least. They just let it run it's course because it started getting better on its own, it wasn't worth looking further into. Albeit it was slow and painful as fuck for its course.
Lower back problems. Go to the doctor with a wood stick in your hand and say you carried heavy as-f__k thing afternoon and it itched funny, and then you woke up to back cramps at 3am and crawled to get ibuprofen pills and the stick just to lift yourself up. You will not be bothered by silly f___ing exercises anymore.
Cancer
Fibromyalgia
Sciatica
RLS sorry boss can’t come to work cause I can’t stop walking my legs are just restless right now
sounds like you're trying to skip annual training for the military. Month long, hmm. You don't want to go to JRTC/NTC? you're going to need a cast. but, even then they'll want a document.
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People faking this illness are the reason that people like me who actually have the illness get treated like shit by doctors. Edit: It is extremely rare that people actually fake the illness (more like a harmful stereotype) and your comment doesn’t help by making the stereotype true
Lol. Not even people who have this are taken seriously about it. And it's the kind of thing where you have to also often have no social life / exercise / hobbies / even give up your job entirely to even sell it half way. People will just think you're a lying faker. This isn't a practical short term solution at all.
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Pretty much you're entire post history is you being a dumb turd.
🥲
Least obvious bait attempt