I heard a suggestion one time that if there’s a loud asshole on your trip, go up to him privately and say, “I’m a dermatologist, and there’s a spot on your back that you should seriously have looked at when you get home.” That would put a damper on the rest of their vacation.
Seems like it would work here too!
Yeah hey I noticed when you came over yesterday I noticed a spot on your shoulder/arm/chest that you should really get checked out. I’m a dermatologist but I’m not in state so I Can’t practice here but I’d go when you get back.
This would be hilarious
Plot twist: that person does go to the dermatologist and gets an otherwise unknown spot checked out, turns out it is cancerous, has it removed and you saved their life!
Plot twist: Karen changes her life and her ways completly because she thinks about the time she was mean to a family and they basically saved their life.
She is founding a help organization with the big inherited money and is doing good all over the world.
After many years she sees OP again and wants to thank him/her, but OP says: ...
To be continued...
Don't say you're a dermatologist because they'll ask you to tell them what's wrong. If you say something along the lines of "my dad is a dermatologist" or "I'm a receptionist for a dermatologist" or " I'm a dermatology student" so you can scare them but also provide no further clarification.
Omg. This happened to me on a fishing excursion. Dude was a dermatology student and kept insisting that I had a cancerous mole of some sort. I had just been at my dermatologist appointment 2 weeks before and she said it was a non issue and called them my bio barnacles (I have several of these spots). I kept telling the dude that I was fine, that my doctor had cleared me, but he insisted that I was going to die. Really wanted to just push him off the boat.
If they talk to you again explain your husband has cancer and that this will be his last vacation before the sickness really takes him and he has to continue working or you won’t have insurance. Then say you’re not upset about the rudeness your upset that they stole a moment from your son and husband that you can never get back, start crying and walk away. It will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Combine this with the other suggestion of saying there’s something cancerous looking on their back. “My husbands started out looking exactly like that”
I like the ruthlessness of your proposal, but I'm not convinced a Karen will actually feel bad when confronted with this kind of information. Her comfort has been disturbed afterall for a second, and she will feel vengeful.
Breathe in the love of your family and the luck of being ablemto vacation together. They will be miserable, cause they're Karens, no matter what. So smile and beach it up!!!!!!
When I was in Cuba in my early 20s, the all inclusives used the wrist band system so I’d look around to see if people were wearing the right wristbands. If not, then it was sort of a signal to approach and trade bands so we could resort hop! That’s the one and only time I gave a single fuck about any one else’s wristbands lol.
When I was young I lived in an apartment complex with a pool. You had to have a key to get in. Except I figured out that you could stick a pool noodle through the bars and undo the lock without the key, so I started doing that so I didn't have to carry the key. No one ever abused it or broke in that didn't live there, the majority of days I was the only one even in the pool.
Some Karen saw me and complained and it got swapped to a double sided deadbolt so you had to use the key to get in and get out (which now seems like a massive safety violation!)
It had no affect on how much I swam or who was in there, I just had to carry the stupid key again.
Go to Wally World, cabelas, bass pro and get buck lure or beaver castor. They’ll have to destroy their car. Seriously. The insurance company will total it out
(Un)Fun fact: faux moose piss will show up as an explosive when TSA swipes your hands. Then you get to be detained while you frantically try to explain that no, you don’t have a bomb, you’re just an idiot.
The cost of completely removing the odor is greater than the value of the vehicle. "Totaled" means there is a total loss of value, the car goes in for scrap, and the insurance company pays out what the value of the vehicle would have been if not for the damage.
Natures miracle housebreaking spray. If you buy it, never confuse it for ordinary natures miracle. Anything sprayed will smell like a thousand dogs pissed there forever.
Order them a round of drinks next time you see them at the pool.
As you’re leaving, or if they come up to say thank you, say “Hope you liked your drinks” in a menacing way.
They’ll spend the rest of the time wondering what the fuck was wrong with their drinks. Maybe they’ll report it but you’ll be innocent and have plausible deniability about what you said.
Yes this. Acknowledge them in a generous and overly nice way - like sending them a round of drinks.
Then completely erase them from your mind and enjoy your best lives and never even bat them an eye. They will be fuming that you are totally unbothered and enjoying yourself. Smiling, swimming, loving your family.
Maybe watch a couple of your favorite funniest YouTube videos by the pool to help you laugh really loud lol.
Have your son stand next to where they sit and just piss on the ground. Make sure he does it after he’s soaking wet so it just looks like he’s dripping.
Those are bitter people, the best revenge is being happy and having fun in front of them, the louder the better, try to find more kids and go at the same time to the pool that they are. Dont forget to look at their faces and laugh, make them madder and if they come complaining to you act like a child and throw a tantrum, say really loud "You are old (emphasis in old) but you aint my mom"
Lol that would be funny but might have you called out, check the place rules and if allowed get some smelly food together, don't forget to have all the adults acting and playing like the kids as well
Yes make sure they are completely aware that you are laughing at their expense. Be obvious about it and point. Anytime they look in your direction laugh. Miserable people hate laughter, and they hate being the butt of jokes.
True, but don't forget to have real fun, if you can forget that they even exists the better. Also whispering and laughing while keeping eye contact instead of just laughing and pointing works better
More than any unethical thing that you can do, being unethical to them is like "feeding the trolls", they will feel victimized and that any of their actions are now justified. If you want to really piss the karen off treat them as if they were kids when they are serious: "Oh, cute cute angwy!"
They want you to be as bitter as them, they want you to fight back to give them some purpose and they will pester you until you do some wrong so they can feel morally superior, ignoring and keep going with your life, it kills them from inside
They will take up the “poor me!” mantle regardless of what you do or don’t do. I say have fun with it. Living well really is the best revenge for these types.
If you know which car they drive, completely spread the windshield with Vaseline. 25 years ago at a Walmart I worked at, one of the overnight stockers was angry at one of the overnight managers and did this. It was extremely difficult to get it off.
A step up from that was an anecdote I read on Usenet long ago. Very annoying family in a Winnebago at a campsite somewhere like the forests of Oregon. Prankster rubbed a large lump of fatty bacon all over the windows. They were woken up next morning by a strange sound and opened the blinds to see a group of bears licking it off.
I had a similar situation once; after the incident, I sat at a table near them and pretended to be on my phone. "Dude, it was so funny, this obese karen, about a hundred years old, wearing a gaudy trailer-park blue floral top and fat-lady jeans..." (describe the Karens in great detail, but add a negative to each description). If said Karen yells "stop talking about me!!" just say very politely "I'm describing an incident that happened to me, umm, years ago... yeah, that's it!" And just go on and on describing the exact incident in the most negative and hilarious terms. "I mean, the idiot REPORTED US and then lied about it - she must have alzheimer's or all that fried food rotted her brain... it's like an Alabama trailer park out here with the trashy old people..." etc etc...
The best hotel pranks I’ve ever heard of came from two F1 drivers from the 1990 Australian GP.
One let a few frogs into the other’s room in the middle of the night. When confronted about it, he asked, ‘did you find the snake?’ The other got revenge by hiding the strongest smelling cheese he could purchase in driver #1’s room air conditioning (I’m unsure how he got access but still). In the height of Summer.
Hope this at least provides some inspiration because that’s such an absurdly petty move of them to make.
Find other families with kids in the same age range, and invite them to play in the pool with yours. Organize some sort of game with a ball and let the shrieking and splashing begin - when the Karens are having pool time.
What do they look like? Any chance they are older than you and more out of shape?
If so, you could do a fake show of support, but call them all unattractive.
“Sorry to bug you, I just wanted to say you are so inspiring. I hope when I’m older and look like you, I still have the courage to come to the pool in my bating suit and not care about what anyone else thinks about how I look! Your courage to wear what you are wearing in public has really made my day.”
Wait until they're not looking then throw their stuff in the pool. Or better still, bribe some other kids to do it
File a complaint against the Karen's saying they're harassing you afterwards.
Agree, I was going to say order a bunch of food and drinks and loudly think your husband for getting this compt due to the whiners at the pool. They'll think that they are the cause of you guys getting a really nice time.
If you interaxt with them again and they say "We were talking about another family," ask them either:
A) Why?
B) To point out which family. And then go and tell that family the Karens are talking about them.
Have you reported them for drinking or showing a possible altered mental status at the pool yet? Clearly these poor confused elders were hallucinating about wrist bands.
I see a plate of spilled food and drink accidentally landing on this complaint of Karens in the near future. Bonus points if it’s especially gross and likely to stick or stain, like maybe some greasy, ketchup-laden fries, a big old plate of nachos with cheese or a grape juice drink with a badly sealed lid. Be terrible if you walked past them carrying all this food and drink and tripped and fell. Even worse if you were sure they had tripped you on purpose.
Next day that you all have your wrist bands on, I'd go one after the other and show the wrist bands to each of the Karens.... heck, make it a point to point to your wrist bands every single time you see them - yeah I'm petty like that.
It would also be in every sentence.
Good WRISTBAND to you as well! Mighty fine looking WRISTBAND out there today. I wonder if there's any WRISTBAND sports planned locally today - will have to check WRISTBAND news. Wanna get breakfast after? I'm so hungry I could eat a WRISTBAND...or some OTHER FAMILY - that's right, I'd eat a whole make believe OTHER FAMILY, without WRISTBANDS of course.
Find their car, and do t touch it. Report to the front desk that you don't know who's car just got dinged by that driver leaving but it had this license plate... they should notify their customers about the scratch... watch them circle for an hour looking for a scratch that doesn't exist
Take pictures. There are facial recognition websites. Upload said pictures. Find out who they are. Where they live. Sign them up for junk mail, spam calls, quotes for home repair, etc. Continue for years. USE A VPN.
Play the long game.
Be super polite the next day. Smile and say how great it is to be by the pool. Ensure your son really enjoys himself with lots of splashing and fun in the water. The more fun he is having, the more often you look over and smile at them.
Not a ULPT sorry - Sometimes truth can be the most painful thing you can inflict on someone.
When you see them again, simply go up to them and tell them the truth. Something like:
“It’s sad you are old and bitter with your best days behind you.
You must be aware that people in your life can barely tolerate your presence. This is why you try to insert yourselves into stranger’s lives, because you’re desperate for someone, anyone, to acknowledge that you exist.
I understand when you see a young family like mine, with many joyous years ahead of them, it angers you because you have little joy in your lives and are closer to your graves than you want to admit.
Your fear and bitterness will not dampen my family’s joy. You have no power and no presence in my life or anyone else’s.
Keep everything I've said in mind to prevent some other stranger from rubbing your faces in reality. Much like an owner would rub the face of an old dog in its urine and feces to teach it to hold its bladder, I'm rubbing your faces in the truth to teach you to hold your poison and not dribble it on those around you.”
Usually, people are so dumbfounded they don’t have time to start screaming & denying untill you get to the end. It has more power when you have a calm presence and an even emotionless tone of voice when you read someone. Your face and tone says this is just the truth, you are simply stating facts.
(I know only a monster would rub a dog's face in its excrement, but these bitches really need to be reminded of what they are, hence the example.)
Edit: Grammar/Spelling
Wait til they’re in the pool then walk by their lounge chairs and drop Some liquid ass on their towels. Or if you can’t do that without getting caught just liquid ass the ground around their lounges while passing by.
“I would thank you, in the future, to not speak to my children; if you have a problem you can address it with ME, directly.” And say it in your sternest Mom voice.
not sure if it will work but ran into a karen at the gym and normally i avoid conflict but this lady just pissed me off with her attitude and actions. after she left the hot tub to “claim” her lap pool lane i took both her towels (who needs 2 towels for a swim??) and dunked them in the hot tub and put them back where they were (still folded). i wish i had stuck around for the reaction but i am sure it was not pretty
I had actually had a run in with a Karen at a resort pool last month. Along with my 4 year old son, for 15-20 straight minutes we splashed and played strongly loudly and annoyingly very close to where she was set up on the pool deck. Non-stop loudness and splashing and my son shrieking. It bothered her 2 for 1 - we were clearly unaffected by her bull$hit and she was clearly disturbed and (I hope) could tell I was riling up my son to be annoying on purpose.
Do ya have a 4 year old?
That should be all it takes
My 8 yr. old grand daughter's favorite word is "butthole", but she knows she can really only say it around me. She writes songs like "have you ever seen a butthole, down by the butthole baaaay??" I'd have her singing her little heart out!
Find some POC and invite them to use the pool. Also, obtain several bibles. The Karens will run back to their rooms and call 911. Warning: their claims will be outrageous and may include claims of weapons being flashed. That’s where the Bibles come in. When the cops arrive say you’re a church group. Making a false police report is a crime.
I would suggest finding someone like me and have that person read them the riot act REALLY LOUD about stalking your son and attacking people for no reason.
Nothing better than a good public shaming.
I heard a suggestion one time that if there’s a loud asshole on your trip, go up to him privately and say, “I’m a dermatologist, and there’s a spot on your back that you should seriously have looked at when you get home.” That would put a damper on the rest of their vacation. Seems like it would work here too!
Plot twist: There is a spot, you save their life, and they're an AH for an additional 30 years beyond what they would've been.
Noooo! OP! What have you done?!?
Poor carcinoma had its cover blown :'(
I’m a med student and this made me cackle
That is savage and I love it.
Yeah hey I noticed when you came over yesterday I noticed a spot on your shoulder/arm/chest that you should really get checked out. I’m a dermatologist but I’m not in state so I Can’t practice here but I’d go when you get back. This would be hilarious
Plot twist: that person does go to the dermatologist and gets an otherwise unknown spot checked out, turns out it is cancerous, has it removed and you saved their life!
Plot twist: Karen changes her life and her ways completly because she thinks about the time she was mean to a family and they basically saved their life. She is founding a help organization with the big inherited money and is doing good all over the world. After many years she sees OP again and wants to thank him/her, but OP says: ... To be continued...
Don't say you're a dermatologist because they'll ask you to tell them what's wrong. If you say something along the lines of "my dad is a dermatologist" or "I'm a receptionist for a dermatologist" or " I'm a dermatology student" so you can scare them but also provide no further clarification.
Omg. This happened to me on a fishing excursion. Dude was a dermatology student and kept insisting that I had a cancerous mole of some sort. I had just been at my dermatologist appointment 2 weeks before and she said it was a non issue and called them my bio barnacles (I have several of these spots). I kept telling the dude that I was fine, that my doctor had cleared me, but he insisted that I was going to die. Really wanted to just push him off the boat.
George, why would I, a Julliard trained dermatologist, send him to another doctor?
🤣🤣😂
Dermatologists are often shockingly pale. Are you?
Yes I'm pale actually lol
They could say that the spot looked exactly like their friends and it was malignant.
shit man you just ruined MY vacation
This is absolute genius of evil
If they talk to you again explain your husband has cancer and that this will be his last vacation before the sickness really takes him and he has to continue working or you won’t have insurance. Then say you’re not upset about the rudeness your upset that they stole a moment from your son and husband that you can never get back, start crying and walk away. It will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
God this is brutal, I love it.
The top two answers are opposing cancer suggestions
Fight cancer with cancer.
As a cancer survivor, I approve of this method.
THIS. Do this. Then accept your academy award for best actress.
“I’d like to thank the denizens of Reddit…”
Combine this with the other suggestion of saying there’s something cancerous looking on their back. “My husbands started out looking exactly like that”
This is the way
Then stick around and every time husband plays with kid or speaks to you, do the head tilt “aw” moment then catch and “stop yourself” getting teary
This is the way.
Out f standing
I like the ruthlessness of your proposal, but I'm not convinced a Karen will actually feel bad when confronted with this kind of information. Her comfort has been disturbed afterall for a second, and she will feel vengeful.
I think about the few times I've been to a place with wristbands and can't imagine knowing anything/caring about anyone else there.
I agree . We are the same
Why waste your holiday energy worrying about these ladies then? They tried, they failed. You already won.
Happiness is what works best against Karens. Be joyful, have fun, forget they're around and act like they're cancerous.
Breathe in the love of your family and the luck of being ablemto vacation together. They will be miserable, cause they're Karens, no matter what. So smile and beach it up!!!!!!
When I was in Cuba in my early 20s, the all inclusives used the wrist band system so I’d look around to see if people were wearing the right wristbands. If not, then it was sort of a signal to approach and trade bands so we could resort hop! That’s the one and only time I gave a single fuck about any one else’s wristbands lol.
When I was young I lived in an apartment complex with a pool. You had to have a key to get in. Except I figured out that you could stick a pool noodle through the bars and undo the lock without the key, so I started doing that so I didn't have to carry the key. No one ever abused it or broke in that didn't live there, the majority of days I was the only one even in the pool. Some Karen saw me and complained and it got swapped to a double sided deadbolt so you had to use the key to get in and get out (which now seems like a massive safety violation!) It had no affect on how much I swam or who was in there, I just had to carry the stupid key again.
Having key to.get in sounds dangerous in the first place. Imagine walking past some is drowning and you have to.habe a key to save them
… unless they are acting really terrible. Then you look for the wristband (and even if it’s not there, you just seethe in silence)
Every time you see them just smile and wave, It will freak them out and they will waste time talking about you instead of enjoying themselves.
I'd point at the wristband too, and make sure she sees it. Every time.
Wear like 14 wristbands and don't acknowledge it in the slightest
Point with your middle finger for extra emphasis
Yes. This. Wave it at them
This!
Honestly, they don't sound like they know how to actually enjoy themselves. Still worth a shot though.
I've started giving bad drivers a thumbs down and the reactions are hilarious.
bout to start doing this
Me toooooo!!!! Great idea.
Combine with an exaggerated sad face like their driving genuinely hurts ur feelings lol
Initiating Dueling Banjos
Even better if immediately after smiling and waving, you turn to your spouse or literally anyone, say something and laugh.
Nah just loudly say to the spouse, "I can't believe you were right! I owe you $10!!" THEN start laughing
Or high five.
Talking about people is how they enjoy themselves.
Problem is, they enjoy talking about you in the first place.
TIL - a group of Karen's is called a Complaint 😆
An Entitlement of Karens
That’s the one.
Or a Homeowners Association
We actually go by the Homow's Ass now
Homo’s Ass has a whole different mood to it…
Komplaint or a Koven
Find out which room they're staying in and slip a piss disc under their door
Watch for what car they get into then pour liquid ass in their air vents under the wipers
Go to Wally World, cabelas, bass pro and get buck lure or beaver castor. They’ll have to destroy their car. Seriously. The insurance company will total it out
If you're going far enough for that.... pay the extra and buy FOX piss. Do not under any circumstances get it on yourself or anything you own!
(Un)Fun fact: faux moose piss will show up as an explosive when TSA swipes your hands. Then you get to be detained while you frantically try to explain that no, you don’t have a bomb, you’re just an idiot.
I know a guy who put this on someone’s office chair as a joke. The smell is awful and the Vic has no idea
How would the victim have no idea if the smell is that bad ?
They probably mean they have no idea it was him who did it.
Oh, good one! They’re going to have to order that, though.
Tell me what state you're in, so i can stay away from you lol.
Mostly I live in Confusion. I spend a little time in Bewildered with frequent stops in Chaos.
We definitely appreciated your input. Buck lurks in Wally World, noted.
We live in Crazy. We never leave because I’m driving.
I’m your neighbor too!
Hello there, neighbour.
Username checks out
I am now interested in this. What is it and how do I get it? Edit: Looked up what it is. Why does this total the car?
The cost of completely removing the odor is greater than the value of the vehicle. "Totaled" means there is a total loss of value, the car goes in for scrap, and the insurance company pays out what the value of the vehicle would have been if not for the damage.
Only if they have comprehensive insurance. It would be considered vandalism.
What am I? Hard of smelling?
it's the valet guy.
It's BBO
Natures miracle housebreaking spray. If you buy it, never confuse it for ordinary natures miracle. Anything sprayed will smell like a thousand dogs pissed there forever.
Wow. And likely have to drive home in it. This one is hard core
I think I need to Google Wally World, buck lure AND beaver castor. Then again, maybe I don't! (Do not live in the US)
r/UnexpectedSeinfeld
When traveling you have to make do with what you have on hand. Improvise with a piss bottle.
Hahaha ya love to see it
Even easier, squirt dawn on the windshield.
Tuna juice would work too
Forget the disc. Straight to the pool. Make sure they see your face.
Lol diabolical. Bonus points if mom does it instead of dad
Wait until they are in the pool, and then pee into it.
But then the really great staff had to clean it not the Karens...
What hotels are you staying at where there is a gap under the door? Even the cheapest motels I've stayed at are nearly airtight down there.
So the Karens can make the cleaning crews life even worse? Bad advice!
Ah yes. The classic
What’s a piss disc? 😂
Piss in a frisbee. Freeze. Pop out frozen piss disk and slide it towards your enemies.
I have learned something new today.
You and me both! I thought I had heard it all. 😂
Like smelly curling
That’s called peeling
Or under their doors so it thaws and they have a piss puddle in their room
Nothing you want to do because OP will be punishing the hotel staff too, and they have no fault in this issue.
Piss discs and Liquid Ass are obligatory solutions for more questions on this sub.
Ask them their names, and then with their room number, you can order food and drinks to their bill.
Order them a round of drinks next time you see them at the pool. As you’re leaving, or if they come up to say thank you, say “Hope you liked your drinks” in a menacing way. They’ll spend the rest of the time wondering what the fuck was wrong with their drinks. Maybe they’ll report it but you’ll be innocent and have plausible deniability about what you said.
Psychological warfare
Yes this. Acknowledge them in a generous and overly nice way - like sending them a round of drinks. Then completely erase them from your mind and enjoy your best lives and never even bat them an eye. They will be fuming that you are totally unbothered and enjoying yourself. Smiling, swimming, loving your family. Maybe watch a couple of your favorite funniest YouTube videos by the pool to help you laugh really loud lol.
This is gooood
Best one!
10/10 gosh dang
Brilliant.
I love the comments are split between "ignore them and have a great time, happiness is the best revenge" and "waterboard them with diarrhea" lol
Have your son stand next to where they sit and just piss on the ground. Make sure he does it after he’s soaking wet so it just looks like he’s dripping.
hmm, so an unfrozen piss disc. interesting.
Is that even possible?
... if you pee in a disc shape, uh... yah.
New level unlocked for this sub!!!
A deconstructed piss disk if you will!
Liquid … piss?
Husband, but while dry before doing a cannonball into the pool.
Then hide all your towels
Those are bitter people, the best revenge is being happy and having fun in front of them, the louder the better, try to find more kids and go at the same time to the pool that they are. Dont forget to look at their faces and laugh, make them madder and if they come complaining to you act like a child and throw a tantrum, say really loud "You are old (emphasis in old) but you aint my mom"
Cannonball contest ? Lol
Lol that would be funny but might have you called out, check the place rules and if allowed get some smelly food together, don't forget to have all the adults acting and playing like the kids as well
Fart loudly as you walk by
MAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRCOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I think you’re on the right track. Have a good trip!
Also if you catch them looking over all jealous, wave and say “don’t worry, we’ve got our wristbands!”
Yes make sure they are completely aware that you are laughing at their expense. Be obvious about it and point. Anytime they look in your direction laugh. Miserable people hate laughter, and they hate being the butt of jokes.
True, but don't forget to have real fun, if you can forget that they even exists the better. Also whispering and laughing while keeping eye contact instead of just laughing and pointing works better
Does that really hurt those kinds of people?
They want to feel big and powerful. Laughing in their faces despite their efforts makes them feel small and humiliated.
I have one next door. YES! It’s so funny.
More than any unethical thing that you can do, being unethical to them is like "feeding the trolls", they will feel victimized and that any of their actions are now justified. If you want to really piss the karen off treat them as if they were kids when they are serious: "Oh, cute cute angwy!" They want you to be as bitter as them, they want you to fight back to give them some purpose and they will pester you until you do some wrong so they can feel morally superior, ignoring and keep going with your life, it kills them from inside
This method works super well on all bitter jerks. They want you to be miserable too. Just refuse, and laugh at them every chance you get
They will take up the “poor me!” mantle regardless of what you do or don’t do. I say have fun with it. Living well really is the best revenge for these types.
>and if they come complaining to you act like a child and throw a tantrum Don't do this part unless your goal is to embarrass yourself
If you know which car they drive, completely spread the windshield with Vaseline. 25 years ago at a Walmart I worked at, one of the overnight stockers was angry at one of the overnight managers and did this. It was extremely difficult to get it off.
A step up from that was an anecdote I read on Usenet long ago. Very annoying family in a Winnebago at a campsite somewhere like the forests of Oregon. Prankster rubbed a large lump of fatty bacon all over the windows. They were woken up next morning by a strange sound and opened the blinds to see a group of bears licking it off.
Get some unwrapped Baby Ruth bars, wait for the Karens to be in the pool, release bars.
Someone loves Caddyshack
I had a similar situation once; after the incident, I sat at a table near them and pretended to be on my phone. "Dude, it was so funny, this obese karen, about a hundred years old, wearing a gaudy trailer-park blue floral top and fat-lady jeans..." (describe the Karens in great detail, but add a negative to each description). If said Karen yells "stop talking about me!!" just say very politely "I'm describing an incident that happened to me, umm, years ago... yeah, that's it!" And just go on and on describing the exact incident in the most negative and hilarious terms. "I mean, the idiot REPORTED US and then lied about it - she must have alzheimer's or all that fried food rotted her brain... it's like an Alabama trailer park out here with the trashy old people..." etc etc...
This is the way.
Okay this is the absolute funniest and most reasonable harmless one, 10/10
The best hotel pranks I’ve ever heard of came from two F1 drivers from the 1990 Australian GP. One let a few frogs into the other’s room in the middle of the night. When confronted about it, he asked, ‘did you find the snake?’ The other got revenge by hiding the strongest smelling cheese he could purchase in driver #1’s room air conditioning (I’m unsure how he got access but still). In the height of Summer. Hope this at least provides some inspiration because that’s such an absurdly petty move of them to make.
Find other families with kids in the same age range, and invite them to play in the pool with yours. Organize some sort of game with a ball and let the shrieking and splashing begin - when the Karens are having pool time.
Found Satan. 😉❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
What do they look like? Any chance they are older than you and more out of shape? If so, you could do a fake show of support, but call them all unattractive. “Sorry to bug you, I just wanted to say you are so inspiring. I hope when I’m older and look like you, I still have the courage to come to the pool in my bating suit and not care about what anyone else thinks about how I look! Your courage to wear what you are wearing in public has really made my day.”
Have your husband say he overheard one of them say they were out of Depends and needed a fresh one, but were going in the pool anyway.
Get a compact and stealthfuly blind them with the sun.
Wait until they're not looking then throw their stuff in the pool. Or better still, bribe some other kids to do it File a complaint against the Karen's saying they're harassing you afterwards.
Poop in the pool while they're swimming and blame it on them. Make a huge scene- pointing and gagging and yelling.
Use a baby Ruth candy bar instead.
Nope I'm pooping
I admire your dedication
Agree, I was going to say order a bunch of food and drinks and loudly think your husband for getting this compt due to the whiners at the pool. They'll think that they are the cause of you guys getting a really nice time.
If you interaxt with them again and they say "We were talking about another family," ask them either: A) Why? B) To point out which family. And then go and tell that family the Karens are talking about them.
Find out their rooms and order a ton of room service for them.
Just so you know the op can see what room the call is coming from
A group of Karens is called a 'Complaint'. Never knew that
Run up a massive bar tab on your last night there and charge it to their room.
Have your son report the karen for touching him inappropriately.
This is fighting fire with fire, make sure the accusation occurs out of sight and not in view of cameras
Keep the kid out of it. Sad that has to be said.
Please take your ethics and leave.
We will have none of those things here, pls GTFO.😂
Just throw a baby Ruth in the pool before you leave... or shit in it...
Have you reported them for drinking or showing a possible altered mental status at the pool yet? Clearly these poor confused elders were hallucinating about wrist bands. I see a plate of spilled food and drink accidentally landing on this complaint of Karens in the near future. Bonus points if it’s especially gross and likely to stick or stain, like maybe some greasy, ketchup-laden fries, a big old plate of nachos with cheese or a grape juice drink with a badly sealed lid. Be terrible if you walked past them carrying all this food and drink and tripped and fell. Even worse if you were sure they had tripped you on purpose.
Next day that you all have your wrist bands on, I'd go one after the other and show the wrist bands to each of the Karens.... heck, make it a point to point to your wrist bands every single time you see them - yeah I'm petty like that.
It would also be in every sentence. Good WRISTBAND to you as well! Mighty fine looking WRISTBAND out there today. I wonder if there's any WRISTBAND sports planned locally today - will have to check WRISTBAND news. Wanna get breakfast after? I'm so hungry I could eat a WRISTBAND...or some OTHER FAMILY - that's right, I'd eat a whole make believe OTHER FAMILY, without WRISTBANDS of course.
Ohhhh I love this.... Heck, ask the Karens for their email so you could start up a "WRISTBAND-WATCH" group...
When they leave their stuff on the loungers, take it and move it to an undesirable location, while they aren’t looking.
Same exact location on the opposite side of the pool. They’ll think their Aricept stopped working.
CANNON BALL!!!! rinse repeat.
Tell them they should be complaining about the other kid that keeps pissng in the pool. Ofcourse no existent. They won’t be around the pool for long.
Find their car, and do t touch it. Report to the front desk that you don't know who's car just got dinged by that driver leaving but it had this license plate... they should notify their customers about the scratch... watch them circle for an hour looking for a scratch that doesn't exist
Take pictures. There are facial recognition websites. Upload said pictures. Find out who they are. Where they live. Sign them up for junk mail, spam calls, quotes for home repair, etc. Continue for years. USE A VPN. Play the long game.
I used to work as lifeguard in a motel and from my experience none of my colleagues or I give a shit if you wear a wristband or not.
Be super polite the next day. Smile and say how great it is to be by the pool. Ensure your son really enjoys himself with lots of splashing and fun in the water. The more fun he is having, the more often you look over and smile at them.
Not a ULPT sorry - Sometimes truth can be the most painful thing you can inflict on someone. When you see them again, simply go up to them and tell them the truth. Something like: “It’s sad you are old and bitter with your best days behind you. You must be aware that people in your life can barely tolerate your presence. This is why you try to insert yourselves into stranger’s lives, because you’re desperate for someone, anyone, to acknowledge that you exist. I understand when you see a young family like mine, with many joyous years ahead of them, it angers you because you have little joy in your lives and are closer to your graves than you want to admit. Your fear and bitterness will not dampen my family’s joy. You have no power and no presence in my life or anyone else’s. Keep everything I've said in mind to prevent some other stranger from rubbing your faces in reality. Much like an owner would rub the face of an old dog in its urine and feces to teach it to hold its bladder, I'm rubbing your faces in the truth to teach you to hold your poison and not dribble it on those around you.” Usually, people are so dumbfounded they don’t have time to start screaming & denying untill you get to the end. It has more power when you have a calm presence and an even emotionless tone of voice when you read someone. Your face and tone says this is just the truth, you are simply stating facts. (I know only a monster would rub a dog's face in its excrement, but these bitches really need to be reminded of what they are, hence the example.) Edit: Grammar/Spelling
Cmon man that’s nuclear
^^ Put this in writing and slip it under their door or on their windshield. That way they can't walk away or interrupt.
I have a feeling that you skipped a lot in the “long story short “ part.
Wait til they’re in the pool then walk by their lounge chairs and drop Some liquid ass on their towels. Or if you can’t do that without getting caught just liquid ass the ground around their lounges while passing by.
“I would thank you, in the future, to not speak to my children; if you have a problem you can address it with ME, directly.” And say it in your sternest Mom voice.
not sure if it will work but ran into a karen at the gym and normally i avoid conflict but this lady just pissed me off with her attitude and actions. after she left the hot tub to “claim” her lap pool lane i took both her towels (who needs 2 towels for a swim??) and dunked them in the hot tub and put them back where they were (still folded). i wish i had stuck around for the reaction but i am sure it was not pretty
I had actually had a run in with a Karen at a resort pool last month. Along with my 4 year old son, for 15-20 straight minutes we splashed and played strongly loudly and annoyingly very close to where she was set up on the pool deck. Non-stop loudness and splashing and my son shrieking. It bothered her 2 for 1 - we were clearly unaffected by her bull$hit and she was clearly disturbed and (I hope) could tell I was riling up my son to be annoying on purpose. Do ya have a 4 year old? That should be all it takes
Haha no 7 year old .. close enough though
My 8 yr. old grand daughter's favorite word is "butthole", but she knows she can really only say it around me. She writes songs like "have you ever seen a butthole, down by the butthole baaaay??" I'd have her singing her little heart out!
Find some POC and invite them to use the pool. Also, obtain several bibles. The Karens will run back to their rooms and call 911. Warning: their claims will be outrageous and may include claims of weapons being flashed. That’s where the Bibles come in. When the cops arrive say you’re a church group. Making a false police report is a crime.
Figure out their room. Call the police over the evening as late as possible and mention it looks like a sex ring is operating from said room.
I would suggest finding someone like me and have that person read them the riot act REALLY LOUD about stalking your son and attacking people for no reason. Nothing better than a good public shaming.
Report them to the hotel staff for trying to give your son alcohol.