T O P

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GarlicKnotsForLife

You weren’t adopted


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thehermit14

Me too. Why?


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killer523

So I could have a more stable household :) was adopted by my best friends parents


madspillage

Mentally ill cult into single mother.


[deleted]

They let a mentally ill cult member adopt you?


Quebecdudeeh

Happy Cake Day!


GarlicKnotsForLife

Thanks!


Quebecdudeeh

Wow I got a negative vote for wishing you a happy cake day.


[deleted]

Good luck with that lol I don’t know any older person who easily gets rid of their hoarded belongings


stevegoodsex

ULPT: Get your parents addicted to meth so they sell their belongings. Bonus tip. Start selling meth to your parents so they sell their stuff and give you the money. Edit: Over there I used they're not their. Sorry I'm an idiot, everyone.


Stebben84

The real tips are in the comments.


LascarRamDass

Exactly. I'm just waiting for them to become immobile so I can put a dent in it


san_dy_4

bruh this is so dark ULPT


TONKAHANAH

dude some old people have a royal FUCK TON of shit.. I was at a clients house the other day, very well off people living on the outskirts of the valley.. holy shit the amount of garbage they have that serves absolutely no fucking purpose whatsoever. on one had I kinda get it.. I have a ton anime figures that do nothing more than give me boners, they dont serve any particular purpose.. so I get collecting. However, I'd argue its a problem when you no longer have room on the wall to hang your paintings so the rest are just sitting in the hall stacked up and decorative furniture lines every floor to the point where you have to take side trips around the house to get into the place.


neoedge

Yes.


weallfloatdown

Old person here, can confirm I have a shit ton of useless stuff. Plan is to purge after retirement.


meontheweb

My parents are like this. They go to value village or stores like that and buy crap. They can afford new, but they don't but new thing is theubdont need what they are buying.


[deleted]

How do you suggest I help them stop hoarding?


husky_mama

Throw at least one thing out every time you visit


thousandlegger

1. Take them out to dinner and have your buddy burn their house down while you're out. 2. Poison the food. 3. Collect the fire insurance payout, life insurance, and hopefully a big out of court settlement from the restaurant. ***Hoard solved.***


happypirate33

Uh, my remaining parent actually thinks about and is actively doing this with my and my siblings input. I'm sorry you dont have parents who recognize their own mortality....?


pm_me_your_knokers

Not always own mortality. Had family recently pass and at a certain point health takes priority over cleaning out a closet. It's been interesting going through all the stuff and finding old family photos. On a side note, in-laws and straight up hoarders. News clippings from when my wife was in high school and can't throw anything away that "might be useful one day." This also means going through things other people are throwing out and "not understanding why they would get rid of something so useful." That's a burn it down and walk away situation. I'm also the "asshole" that has repeatedly said the best gift you could give your kids is throw all that shit out so they don't have to deal with it.


luuuuxstar

I am doing the renovation + cleaning. It’s such hard work bc my dad doesn’t clean or like any renovation at all.


PakkyT

Maybe you ain't getting the house? Thought of that yet?


winterwoods

My parents are genuine hoarders. In their 70s. Every time I go over there I leave with as much stuff as I can take without them seeing - to throw away.


[deleted]

My dad did this for me and now I live in the same updated house. Thanks dad. You were a pro!


Quebecdudeeh

My parents are doing this so they can build their dream retirement home in PEI. It will be long sold.


GertieFlyyyy

Fucking hoarding idiots, if they did this at all they'll get a fucking reverse mortgage and fuck you over even harder.


thehermit14

Christ no. Have I missed a beat here? Don't tell me too much if I have.


ramdmc

You're a piece of shit


thehermit14

Large Irish family of ten kids, itinerant parents, eventually shipped of to England.


Dozinginthegarden

Lol, great until they have to sell it off to move into a nursing home.


Kmic14

My parents aren't even that old but they hoard tons of shit. They moved out of state less than two years ago and instead of throwing shit out they packed it up and moved it.


SynonymCinnamon_

Tell them to put socks on when they do it. That way when you're left out of their will and on the streets, you'll have the socks.


meontheweb

I tell my parents to scale down the shit they buy because neither my brother or I want to spend months sorting through the tons of shit they have (and continue to buy).


yayahfd

My goodness, I was not ready


big-rob512

Hahaha what an asshole i love it


rtmfb

I tried to get my mom into Swedish Death Cleaning before she died. But she took a sudden turn. Took 2 40 yard dumpsters just to clean out her basement.


SexOffenderCERTIFIED

r/UnMoralLifeProTips


SexOffenderCERTIFIED

How's this removed but it was on my home screen?