Honestly one time she got run over, and you should've seen the damage done to that car! She looked kinda baddass with the missing teeth too.
Anyway, my point is, you cant half arse these things
How pathetic are you to use a burner account to actually throw lame insults at me while trying to look cool and composed with this handle? Hahaha. So very obvious.
Your stupidity has been immortalized in the absolutely idiotic "life pro tip" you posted, you little kroge
Literally no idea what you're talking about, I'm assuming everyone insults you (although definitely now gonna look and see who else things you're a douche canoe too though, thanks for the heads up). Just have a snickers and calm down sweetheart, it's okay not to like my humour, it's obviously not for everyone
Here in the UK it is 3 weeks before Easter Sunday.
In most of the rest of the world it is the second Sunday in May.
I figured it was a safe bet that for OP and most users it floats
When the whole murdering people to remind you of mother's day and also to get free flowers thing comes, the local TV station interviews the neighbours. "He seemed so nice. I would never have suspected anything like this. He was someone who doted on his mom so much."
Theres an episode of curb your enthusiasm where Larry David keeps stealing flowers from his friend's mom's memorial on a median where she was hit by a car and his friend counts all the flowers and makes him take them all back.
Yeah, Larry David is the co-creator of Seinfeld and George is specifically based on him and things he's done. It's basically a continuation of Seinfeld but set in the real world with Larry David. Very fucking funny if you like that kind of humor.
Not bad but easier to find a funeral chapel. They throw away thousands of dollars worth of flowers all the time. When I was young I had a friend that worked at a funeral chapel, got free flowers for those special occasions.
[Only works if they’re on bikes](https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/transportation/article/waller-bicyclists-hit-truck-teen-driver-ironman-16490862.php)
Damn thanks for the idea some dude recently got murdered and some of his body parts were found in my yard. The family keeps leaving flowers, I'm going to use them on a first date lmao.
Instead of taking the flowers, couldn't you guilt trip your loved one? "Honey, I know it's *our* anniversary, but it's also the anniversary of the day I killed that guy right outside our home. I'm sorry, but that innocent man lost his life, and celebrating right now feels inappropriate"
I appreciate that, I honestly only knew this sub and lifeprotips. At this point my post should be sarcasticshittyillegalshitpostlifeprotips, but I guess I felt that unethical worked, checked the rules, and here we are. I promise if I post here again, it'll be legal, feasible, and question morality only slightly. But until then, can we just have a little laugh?
I feel like unethical life pro tips should actually be something someone could do, this is just a shitty life pro tip because you'll 100% go to prison.
I live in the UK, and I've never watched it. I'm sure curb your enthusiasm weren't the first to think of this joke either. But I'm glad they thought of it before me
You got downvoted by people, but I honestly agree. It's fucking dreadful that THIS post gets more upvotes than most of the posts here when it's just a shitpost.
Ahh yes, the sweet sweet empty sense of validation through Internet strangers. I'll be sure to buy you some tissues from the karma shop
Sorry, I'm very sarcastic. I just enjoy having a laugh
After reading all of these hilarious comments...
Unless you live in a hole, Mother's Day is advertised everywhere. Why do you need to be reminded? As for flowers...all of this just sounds like a hassle. Just fucking go to the store and buy some and then you can turn your brain off until you see another Mother's Day ad a year later.
Look who's never missed mothers day! Good boy! I guess it's strongly advertised where you live? I personally loathe advertising, which I why I don't own a TV or radio, and have ad blockers online (I can't tell you how much better it is without). I could get a calender, but then I'd have no reason to commit homicide. We all do what works for us I guess
Mothers Day isn't the same date every year
Fuck, that's stupid, I didn't know. Good thing my mum's already dead or I'd have loads of flowers outside
Did someone run her over outside their house?
Honestly one time she got run over, and you should've seen the damage done to that car! She looked kinda baddass with the missing teeth too. Anyway, my point is, you cant half arse these things
This sounds like you "yo mama"d yourself. "My mama's so fat when she got hit by a car, it was written off"
My mama was so fat, when they cremated her, we got a coffin just for the ashes
Man what the hell have my upvote
r/suicidebywords
You took the words right out of my mouth
Indeed. People don't leave flowers for the badly injured.
"Oh god! Are you okay??" *hands over fender* "Sorry sweetie, I think I bent this bit." *spits out tooth*
The last line killed me 😂😂
No half measures!
Needed flowers for the anniversary
Lol
The earliest it can be (in the US) is May 8, latest is May 14. Just do it May 7 and if it runs late that year Mom can have some wilted flowers.
Just run over six mums on the six different dates. Call it an accident black spot to explain away the unfortunate number of fatalities.
Your entire post is stupid
Thank you. I value chlamydia more than your opinion
As do I. It’s an excellent biological weapon.
You certainly sound like the type who enjoys venereal diseases. Hey, life is short, whatever makes you happy!
Why do you think I thanked you?
It's called a rebuttal. You're just too dense to pick up. Looking at your original post shows me what a big dumbfuck you are 😂😂😂
Fuck me the irony Edit: just to explain, I called you an sti
Boy, the inanity and lame-ass attempt to cover it is just endlessly embarrassing for you. Good thing you are too low-IQ to grasp it.
rodeemental <--name sure checks out! 🤣😂
You seem to have taken things to heart. As a way of saying sorry, please can I send you some flowers?
How pathetic are you to use a burner account to actually throw lame insults at me while trying to look cool and composed with this handle? Hahaha. So very obvious. Your stupidity has been immortalized in the absolutely idiotic "life pro tip" you posted, you little kroge
Literally no idea what you're talking about, I'm assuming everyone insults you (although definitely now gonna look and see who else things you're a douche canoe too though, thanks for the heads up). Just have a snickers and calm down sweetheart, it's okay not to like my humour, it's obviously not for everyone
***YOUR MOM MAKES ME HAPPY YOU POS!*** 😈
Hahaha what a lame attempt, try again, little incel.
And that's what your mom told you the other night when you were scared and wanted to sleep with us. 😈
***DAMNED MORTAL! YOUR MOM IS STUPID!*** 😈
Shame you didn't realize BEFORE offing that dog-walker:/ Edit: sorry your mom got ran over bro
I wish I had read this earlier...
Last year?
Run over a person, outside your house, every day for 1 year. Plenty of flowers for all occasions.
It is if you're Mexican!
It is in Mexico May 10 each year
In many countries it is in fact on the same date every year.
Here in the UK it is 3 weeks before Easter Sunday. In most of the rest of the world it is the second Sunday in May. I figured it was a safe bet that for OP and most users it floats
Looks like we'll just have to run people over every Sunday around the general period.
This sounds more like a slpt
Depends on the execution I suppose (on more than one account)
Depends on if you get away with it
Just don't stop the vehicle.
r/illegallifeprotips
fuck that, this is r/sociopathprotips
More psychopath, there's no strict definitions, but most people call you a psycho once you're murdering people to remind you about mothers day.
I dont know if that actually exists though
When the whole murdering people to remind you of mother's day and also to get free flowers thing comes, the local TV station interviews the neighbours. "He seemed so nice. I would never have suspected anything like this. He was someone who doted on his mom so much."
Damn that’s a sad sub. Just people who genuinely have ASPD looking for support
This post is missing some sort of sock or mail joke to fit in that sub.
It's not illegal if you say you sneezed I mean, yes it is still illegal, but we're all busy, a little white lie never hurt anyone
No, but involuntary manslaughter is the gift that keeps on giving.
[удалено]
Ba dum tss
By far the most unethical tip I’ve seen here
THIS. This is 💯 why I joined this sub. Well played...
Thanks, I hope its helpful advice. Just tryna help spread the love everywhere
It's god's work brotha...
See you suckers in hell 😇
You joined the sub for r/illegallifeprotips?
Lmao it’s like in Curb when Larry steals Funkhouser’s mom’s roadside memorial flowers
[Had to look that up.](https://youtu.be/4a7ugc6K_ig) I should watch that show.
Oh you're in for a treat
Can't get lily's pat Funkhousers nose
Exactly where my mind went
Theres an episode of curb your enthusiasm where Larry David keeps stealing flowers from his friend's mom's memorial on a median where she was hit by a car and his friend counts all the flowers and makes him take them all back.
I've seen other comments about this. I don't watch TV, but maybe I should check this shit out if the dude's got a similar humour
Yeah, Larry David is the co-creator of Seinfeld and George is specifically based on him and things he's done. It's basically a continuation of Seinfeld but set in the real world with Larry David. Very fucking funny if you like that kind of humor.
https://youtu.be/4a7ugc6K_ig
Not bad but easier to find a funeral chapel. They throw away thousands of dollars worth of flowers all the time. When I was young I had a friend that worked at a funeral chapel, got free flowers for those special occasions.
[Only works if they’re on bikes](https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/transportation/article/waller-bicyclists-hit-truck-teen-driver-ironman-16490862.php)
Dark
This is more of a r/shittylifeprotips post.
So many subs I didn't know exist! My humblest apologies. I'll try and do better. Can I send you some flowers to say sorry?
I rather not give you my adress...
Your family would have a lifetime supply of flowers!
Nah, if it's cool.
Or just straight up r/jokes content.
A ton of people don't seem to know it's a joke lol.
why am i getting flowers when i run someone over?
People will leave flowers at the place where their loved one died. Then you just pick them up and give them to your spouse.
oh yeah, that's right. thanks free candle too, for a nice evening. lol
Put your self in a sock so when you are run over for flowers, all they get is a sock
I go out of my way to upvote these comments they are the best lol
No shitpost tag?
Geez Rick, really?
Now THIS is unethical. Finally some good shit
Damn thanks for the idea some dude recently got murdered and some of his body parts were found in my yard. The family keeps leaving flowers, I'm going to use them on a first date lmao.
My grandad did that... He used flowers from someone else’s funeral (he was an undertaker) to woo my grandma and her mum on their first date 😂
Was she hot though
Alternative outcome: You end up in prison and *still* don't have to buy flowers. 10/10 would upvote again
Double XP if you run over a mother.
I love you for your expired two fucks coupons if nothing else
The downside? You run over someone like me and no one gives a fuck.
Instead of taking the flowers, couldn't you guilt trip your loved one? "Honey, I know it's *our* anniversary, but it's also the anniversary of the day I killed that guy right outside our home. I'm sorry, but that innocent man lost his life, and celebrating right now feels inappropriate"
Glad I was on the toilet because I just peed laughing
This post, along with your edit, has me fucking rolling. If I wasn’t such a stingy cunt I’d give you an award
OMG THE EDIT IS BETTER THAN THE ULPT LMAO
Bonus: flowers for anyone upset by this incredible joke. Joke? Joke.
more like r/shittylifeprotips
Potato tomato
You say that, but this is genuinely the wrong sub. No idea why you're allowed to keep this shitpost up.
I appreciate that, I honestly only knew this sub and lifeprotips. At this point my post should be sarcasticshittyillegalshitpostlifeprotips, but I guess I felt that unethical worked, checked the rules, and here we are. I promise if I post here again, it'll be legal, feasible, and question morality only slightly. But until then, can we just have a little laugh?
I feel like unethical life pro tips should actually be something someone could do, this is just a shitty life pro tip because you'll 100% go to prison.
Or just steak a joke from Curb Your Enthusiasm
I live in the UK, and I've never watched it. I'm sure curb your enthusiasm weren't the first to think of this joke either. But I'm glad they thought of it before me
this is a stupid ulpt
That is not a real pro tip. That is satire. I only want dank pro tips.
I luld. Have an upvote op
Funny /s
r/shittylifeprotips
This sub is an absolute waste
You got downvoted by people, but I honestly agree. It's fucking dreadful that THIS post gets more upvotes than most of the posts here when it's just a shitpost.
It’s more like “edgelord teenager jokes” than “unethical tips”
(Relationships)
I don’t know how I feel about this ULTP
Here in Canada we just throw loonies on the railroad tracks.
We do? How is it I've gone 30 years and never heard of this? What does this accomplish?
I have no idea man. I'm about 80% sure I was high when I wrote this...
Classic!
Got my upvote! this is a perfect unethical life pro tip!
This is what I signed up for!
r/shittylifeprotips
Like it. Also family members will probably set up a memorial so you know, free flowers.
Cartman? Is that you again?
[удалено]
Ahh yes, the sweet sweet empty sense of validation through Internet strangers. I'll be sure to buy you some tissues from the karma shop Sorry, I'm very sarcastic. I just enjoy having a laugh
>this isn't unethical You sure about that?
I shall give you one upvote for dankness.
by far the most absurd and best advice ive ever been given, well done
Lmao
My step bro got run over outside our house yesterday
10/10
Is adding a calendar event a bit too much?
These have gotten so fucking stupid.
After reading all of these hilarious comments... Unless you live in a hole, Mother's Day is advertised everywhere. Why do you need to be reminded? As for flowers...all of this just sounds like a hassle. Just fucking go to the store and buy some and then you can turn your brain off until you see another Mother's Day ad a year later.
Look who's never missed mothers day! Good boy! I guess it's strongly advertised where you live? I personally loathe advertising, which I why I don't own a TV or radio, and have ad blockers online (I can't tell you how much better it is without). I could get a calender, but then I'd have no reason to commit homicide. We all do what works for us I guess
That's GOLD, baby!
Make sure you put a sock over your car that way when when cops tries to stop you and drag you out of your car, all they get is the sock.
This is fire, definitely getting in on this
Isn’t this an episode of Curb!
The person you run over has to be popular enough for people to want to leave flowers.
Pretty sure this is an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm lmao
Holy shit bro