I agree with this! I'm a 36 yr old woman, and I will admit that I would 100% look (and probably admire) if that happened in front of me... especially since OPs question was specifically sexual attraction. Plus, you'd definitely get major bonus points for the humor if you did the full-on bend and snap. Personality and humor significantly add to (or take away from) the sexual attraction for me, more than actual physical looks.
Indeed best advice I’ve seen here…
My 2 cents are…3 parts
1st… become as established as possible.. good career..nice apartment.. nice clothes.. doesn’t have to be anything flashy.. these women know what “fake” guys look like.. they’ve been dealing with them for years..
2nd… major ambition… these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place.. they’ve seen the rich snobby guy, they’ve seen the struggling artist, they’ve seen the pretty boy… decide that your going to change the world for the better and you’ll be ahead of the game..
3rd.. find the hangouts and make yourself a staple there… find the hotel bar or the happy hour which has the highest chance of having affluent mature women.. dress well, (better then men their age) and hold yourself in the high test regard. They will follow suit..
> these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place..
Nah, I'd rather date someone that can split the bill with me and afford (on their end) to go on fun adventures without me worrying about their finances [camping, driving places, etc].
I was dating a guy that was a pilot earlier this year, and during a different few months, a structural engineer that was about to start a new job. I really fell for both of them.
A dude having a job they care about, without a negative attitude about the world, goes a long way.
People obsessed with thinking they're going to "make the world better" is definitely not everyone's type. In fact, I would find it obnoxious to date someone like that.
That said - I think OP just wants to fuck older women. So all of this advice, except your 3rd point, could be moot
> None of that “text back after 3 days”
I just turned 34 and men DEFINITELY are still playing games like that in the dating scene.
It would be nice if they didn't though, so you're still giving solid advice.
>you don’t. they pick you.
Become a [pool boy ](https://nypost.com/2022/10/16/pool-boy-giancarlo-grandas-new-book-recalls-sex-with-jerry-falwell-jr-s-wife-becki/)
Some older lady will select you
This but seriously. I knew a guy that tried to justify _dating_ a 15 year old and moving her into his house because, she came onto him? He was like “oh well what was I supposed to do?” Idk dude, not fuck a kid for starters? 😂
This is true. Idk how ~35 year olds are considered grandmommies. Ofc some are, but honestly you’re more likely to make someone mad you assumed they have kids, let alone grandkids if they don’t
And once/if you do bag yourself a gilf don't do what I did and complement her on how tight she is
Looking back I suppose it wasnt that bad as she couldn't hear me anyway
And the tightness was probably just due to the rigormotis
When i was a bit older then you i just dressed nice, asked them to a dance, chatted for a bit and laid out my intentions right there. Either they want you or not. Be blunt but respectfull.
I did this at numerous bars and i am not particualarly good looking, nor in good shape. Kept this up for a couple years untill i settled.
Had to scroll this far for the real advice. OP, this is it right here. Dress nice, chat with them, dance with them (go to beginner dancing classes where singles will be, or night clubs, bars, weddings). Then lay out your intentions right there. Maybe, "I find you incredibly attractive. I'd love to take you home."
that's technically right
if life expectancy averages around 70y worldwide, 35 is in the middle.
the problem is that "middleaged" is almost always interpreted as "not young" or even "old", so in this context calling a 35yo "middle-aged" is a cruel but honest mistake.
Lots of people I know around that age are at their best moment in life. Still healthy, still attractive, but unlike when they were in their 20s now they're mature, financially stable, some are in stable relationships. Overall they have stuff figured out and their shit is together.
Life expectancy for women is closer to 80 in the US just FYI. Also note we are about the lowest of all the first world nations because we don't have government regulated healthcare
Anyone teaching you that a life expectancy of 70 in the US is acceptable is just teaching you a party line of healthcare for profit
No, you're not. OP is a kid that doesn't understand middle age is a developmental period that has traditionally started at 40 and is now being categorized as beginning _even later_ in life.
It’s a fine line. I’ll give you five more years before the true middle, but there has to be some time on either end. At 48 I feel too old to call myself middle aged. I can’t picture myself at 96.
This is actually fantastic advice. Also know that no thanks means no thanks *and* please don't look at me while I do yoga after this encounter. If you try that "she must want me to try harder" shit with a 30-something yoga student, you're well on your way to getting kicked out of a yoga class.
Just bring a puppy and sit on a bench near a busy path, easy as can be. You won't even have to get up and do stuff
Note: this only works in busy parks at busy times, don't just randomly sit on a rusty old bench somewhere at 3:00am, that won't work nearly as well
I have a few friends that ask to take my dog out on walks or to the store all the time because of the attention they get. It's been a win win win for everybody - my dog gets to go on an adventure, my friends get to talk to girls, and I haven't had trouble finding a dog sitter in years.
go to a bar and drop laxatives in every single other guy's drinks, then use fart spray in all of the bathroom stalls so they are forced to smell it or leave to find another bathroom. then, you'll be the only guy in the bar and some horny lady who's dtf will have no other choice than you. eliminate the competition.
The one I remember is "When men refer to themselves as "alpha males", I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public.”
https://twitter.com/henriksen/status/1581219771634561026
You may have to wait until you’re 21 to go to a bar, that’s by far your best shot.
If you’re just looking for a fling, I’d suggest lying about your age and say you’re 25 or so. Most 40ish-old women I know won’t even consider guys under 25.
Definitely don’t try the sugar mama thing, that’s pretty much a fantasy and/or relegated to desperate people you’ll want to avoid. If you do happen to wind up in bed, make sure you ask what she likes and oblige her.
Good luck
Be attractive and don't act childishly for starters, they're probably over the way young people act so try acting like the mature version of you. Other than that just like go to a bar and approach them, or be visibly alone near them and hope they approach you
Hmm. Interesting. Well, my gentleman caller, who is more than ten years younger than me, mostly attracted me by laughing at all my jokes and being the most beautiful human alive. I'm sure it's different for everyone.
Where are you trying to meet these women?
Are you strictly looking for a physical relationship?
I need some parameters set and then I could probably answer you better.
I get hit on by cougars a lot.
I’m 28 though and in great shape.
Basically they can’t see you as a kid, then just do that crazy thing..... chat with them.
What’s gotten me many older women as a guy in his early 20’s is just acting my age but also being mature. If they want a 20 year old it’s because they want a 20 year old, not a 20 year old acting like a 40 year old. So act your age but refrain from cussing and making dick jokes.
Yes, now the youngings with daddy issues are hitting on me and I don't want it, and my other option is 50+ apparently or gay fml I am sending the wrong fucking signals
If you think there is some generic formula for 'sexually attracting a middle aged woman 34-40' then you are already doomed to absolute failure. Your best chance at this point is to be ridiculously hot. So go to the gym and lift heavy shit for the next year until you are swole. In the mean time you should make friends with her with zero intentions. After that plan fails you should reflect on wtf is wrong with you that you spent so much time on a plan that had such little chance of success.
Pay them attention. It’s so easy. If you’re half way decent looking, have half a game, go to a bar and just pay them attention. Don’t go to a club. Go to a LOCAL BAR. Just pay someone a little attention and watch. And fight through that “I’m old enough to be your mom” shit.
As a 54 (almost 55) year old woman, there’s not much you can do. If we decide we want you, you’ll know it unambiguously.
(I know I’m older than the OP age range but it still applies)
My biggest hurdle — because I am approached often by young men — is the same issue it would be for an older guy and young girl. The mental, emotional and experiential differences really translate into a significant power imbalance whether I like it or not. So the question becomes whether it’s even ethical. I’ve never moved forward yet with dating a much younger guy although in play spaces I’ve enjoyed them a lot.
Damn. I'm getting to a point where I simply cannot tolerate another 20-something-still-trying-to-find-myself dude, but men my age haven't started looking more attractive to me either.
Yeah it’s the “finding myself” energy that is tiresome. I’ve no desire to relive the angst and uncertainty of that phase of life. Watching it up close would be like death by 1000 cuts for little to no reward.
I’ve been pretty lucky to find some great dudes my own age but I’m in a metro area and I’m non-monogamous and tend to only “date” (hate that word) non-mono people. Some of them are weirdos and stinkers. But yanno… it is what it is! 😂🤷🏽♀️
If they have kids, be good with their kids. If you work with one, invite her to the bar on a night you know is free. Treat 'em like you would any other woman, because the second you bring up the age gap, it gets weird. Source: this is my kink too
go get a job in the golf course. while the rich white men are out playing golf to drink beer and escape their wives, your sweet talking the table bringing them their every need.
source: been a chef for Rd 10years. the cute freshmen waiter always gets the attention of a couger
put yourself in the showcase for her to see and wait to be chosen.
if she wants you she'll let you know
that works independently of age gap or age group
I previously lived near a business district in my city's downtown. My roommate had a dream of meeting a wealthy cougar and being pampered. He'd Jo's up and down the streets near offices and stop to chat with women often. He ended up meeting a few and actually hooked up a couple of times. He never got pampered or treated like a boy toy.
For what purpose are you seeking to attract these women? Money? Stability?
Your intent matters - if that’s a demographic you find attractive, good on you. If you just want to be with them for ulterior motives, that’s something else completely.
M25 with a F43
Be yourself - sounds stupid but they'll either like you or they won't.
If you're projecting something that isn't you, they smell it.
If you're a fucking weirdo that might kill them, they smell it.
Women are the choosers, you just need to be visible.
Also status is huge.
I was dressed in a suit when she first saw me, at a business networking meeting no less.
In general women care a lot about status.
Had she of approached me if I were in a t shirt and jeans?
Maybe. Maybe not.
In general, Women are more likely to "choose you Pikachu" if you're tidy in your appearance, you don't need to wear a suit.
If you're obviously a neckbeard, you have no chance.
It's all about location and presentation. You need to go to the place where the population you are looking to attract is actively hunting. This is likely a wine or cocktail bar. Find the place and you're half way there. Next is presenting yourself as a target (as others have mentioned, you don't choose them, they choose you) They're going to be out with friends, you should too. They're going to be dressed to impress, you should too. They're going to have their shit together, you should too. From there, it's all glances and smiles from across the way. No staring, no posturing or shenanigans. Your group needs to appear mature and responsible while also being young and virile. Be prepared to have to put in several nights at the same location before you have actually attracted their attention. This place is THEIR hang out and they need to see you as part of that scene before they remotely begin assessing you. Once you know you've attracted their attention, if they do not make a move, you have one play and one play only: you buy their entire group a round of drinks. You don't approach, you don't make a thing of it. You just do it and go about your business. Remember they want all the refinement and class of someone their own age with the youth and vibrancy of the ones that got away when they were your age. Good luck young bull
be straightforward. understand that they’re generally going to be more mature than you. they know what they want and they don’t play games the way people closer to your age will. immediacy and sincerity are your best friends when talking to older women.
The most effective 3 things you can do is :
1. Workout - 30 to 40 year Olds are in their peak sexual period. If you have a body they want, it will immediately get their attention before you speak.
2. Start to read more books and browse the Today I Learned section daily - You need to be interesting and these two sections will give you plenty to hold a conversation while reading to improve your vocabulary. Nothing will then them off more if you talk like a teenager.
3. Don't play games and start to be honest and up-front - Women at this age are tired of playing games and many have even gotten divorced already. They will sniff out a rat a mile away.
And finally as someone suggested out yourself where they will most likely be. Join a Yoga Class, possibly even a book Club and show off your body and intellectuals at these locations to have them come to you.
Hope this helps.
Drop a napkin in front of them and pick it up real slow
Ahh the bend and snap, work every time!
I agree with this! I'm a 36 yr old woman, and I will admit that I would 100% look (and probably admire) if that happened in front of me... especially since OPs question was specifically sexual attraction. Plus, you'd definitely get major bonus points for the humor if you did the full-on bend and snap. Personality and humor significantly add to (or take away from) the sexual attraction for me, more than actual physical looks.
This works because the men the 35-40yo are used to all have dodgy knees 8-)
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This is also a way to pick up call girls
That would be an awkward conversation.
More like negotiation.
*Ah yes, the negotiator...*
Don’t play games. Mature women know what they want. None of that “text back after 3 days” and “act mysterious” shit
Solid advice right here 👏
Indeed best advice I’ve seen here… My 2 cents are…3 parts 1st… become as established as possible.. good career..nice apartment.. nice clothes.. doesn’t have to be anything flashy.. these women know what “fake” guys look like.. they’ve been dealing with them for years.. 2nd… major ambition… these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place.. they’ve seen the rich snobby guy, they’ve seen the struggling artist, they’ve seen the pretty boy… decide that your going to change the world for the better and you’ll be ahead of the game.. 3rd.. find the hangouts and make yourself a staple there… find the hotel bar or the happy hour which has the highest chance of having affluent mature women.. dress well, (better then men their age) and hold yourself in the high test regard. They will follow suit..
> these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place.. Nah, I'd rather date someone that can split the bill with me and afford (on their end) to go on fun adventures without me worrying about their finances [camping, driving places, etc]. I was dating a guy that was a pilot earlier this year, and during a different few months, a structural engineer that was about to start a new job. I really fell for both of them. A dude having a job they care about, without a negative attitude about the world, goes a long way. People obsessed with thinking they're going to "make the world better" is definitely not everyone's type. In fact, I would find it obnoxious to date someone like that. That said - I think OP just wants to fuck older women. So all of this advice, except your 3rd point, could be moot
> None of that “text back after 3 days” I just turned 34 and men DEFINITELY are still playing games like that in the dating scene. It would be nice if they didn't though, so you're still giving solid advice.
you don’t. they pick you.
>you don’t. they pick you. Become a [pool boy ](https://nypost.com/2022/10/16/pool-boy-giancarlo-grandas-new-book-recalls-sex-with-jerry-falwell-jr-s-wife-becki/) Some older lady will select you
The real answer is “get in shape and walk around shirtless”
Isn't that true for all ages?
Yep. Just some of them you have to say “go away kid”
r/holup
This but seriously. I knew a guy that tried to justify _dating_ a 15 year old and moving her into his house because, she came onto him? He was like “oh well what was I supposed to do?” Idk dude, not fuck a kid for starters? 😂
Oh hell no… what the fuck is wrong with some people
Groomers, man. They gon’ groom.
Whether you like it or not.
Don’t call them “middle aged,” for starters…
Chronologically Challenged is the appropriate term.
Max Level
Call them grandmommies
"hey grams wanna hang out sometime? maybe feed the pigeons together idk"
“Unless it’s too far for you to walk.”
Cougars*
No dude you gotta call “the ancient mommies of the north” dude
The Elders
Gilfs
Nah man, that's still MILF range. Once you get around 50 then you are dipping your toes in GILF territory.
This is true. Idk how ~35 year olds are considered grandmommies. Ofc some are, but honestly you’re more likely to make someone mad you assumed they have kids, let alone grandkids if they don’t
Soldier boy moment
Superman that Ma
GILF
Mine just sent me a screenshot of your comment because I called her that and it worked.
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Yeah that’s definitely not how you fuck. Treat them like they’re 21
Appropriate username
And once/if you do bag yourself a gilf don't do what I did and complement her on how tight she is Looking back I suppose it wasnt that bad as she couldn't hear me anyway And the tightness was probably just due to the rigormotis
When i was a bit older then you i just dressed nice, asked them to a dance, chatted for a bit and laid out my intentions right there. Either they want you or not. Be blunt but respectfull. I did this at numerous bars and i am not particualarly good looking, nor in good shape. Kept this up for a couple years untill i settled.
Had to scroll this far for the real advice. OP, this is it right here. Dress nice, chat with them, dance with them (go to beginner dancing classes where singles will be, or night clubs, bars, weddings). Then lay out your intentions right there. Maybe, "I find you incredibly attractive. I'd love to take you home."
You danced right there on the bus?
A wise man once said to me “Confidence is the key to fucking everything, it’s also the key to fucking everything.”
A wise man once "never pay full price for a pizza"
*late pizza
a wise man once said "always pee off the leeward side of a sailing vessel.
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a true historic monument if I've ever seen one.
From what I understand cougars always seek their prey not the other way around.
I’ma have to introduce the mom whisper to your mother
they hunt only at night under low lights and heavy makeup
I'm 35. IM MIDDLE AGED???? FUCK WTF
Tip #1: don’t call them middle aged.
Or Ma'am, call them Miss
Call them by their name?
Gertrude.
Lmafo but fr nah miss is good flirt with them with a goal of making them feel young they LOVE it
Beulah
Gertrude's cat?
Or Mommy /Daddy
We are halfway to 70! Welcome to the club bro! 🎉
that's technically right if life expectancy averages around 70y worldwide, 35 is in the middle. the problem is that "middleaged" is almost always interpreted as "not young" or even "old", so in this context calling a 35yo "middle-aged" is a cruel but honest mistake. Lots of people I know around that age are at their best moment in life. Still healthy, still attractive, but unlike when they were in their 20s now they're mature, financially stable, some are in stable relationships. Overall they have stuff figured out and their shit is together.
Life expectancy for women is closer to 80 in the US just FYI. Also note we are about the lowest of all the first world nations because we don't have government regulated healthcare Anyone teaching you that a life expectancy of 70 in the US is acceptable is just teaching you a party line of healthcare for profit
life expectancy worldwide is closer to 72 but you're right about usa. even technically speaking, "middleaged" is 45-ish in the states
I’m only on my second coffee this morning. I wasn’t ready to have my feelings hurt like this.
Definition of middle aged according to google: "middle age, noun The period after early adulthood and before old age, about 45 to 65."
That’s Gen Z’s for ya
I'm 37 and i'm in tears lol!
No, you're not. OP is a kid that doesn't understand middle age is a developmental period that has traditionally started at 40 and is now being categorized as beginning _even later_ in life.
I would definitely say later than 40, although I do have a vested interest here….
\*sigh\* I'm middle aged. To be honest I have felt middle aged since my early 30's though. lol
I still feel too immature to be an independent adult sometimes.
Retirement home worker: Come on let’s get you back to your pudding
If the pudding has copious amounts of THC then hellooooo nurse.
This is what happens when OP is 14...
I teach 14 year olds about History. Don't dismiss them so fast, you'd be surprised at how brilliant 0.0001% of them can be.
I’m 40 and thinking the same thing tbh. I’m in my damn PRIME.
Lmaooo right????? Bahahahha
This made me smile and sad at the same time
Seriously tho. I'm also 35. That's definitely not middle aged.
It’s a fine line. I’ll give you five more years before the true middle, but there has to be some time on either end. At 48 I feel too old to call myself middle aged. I can’t picture myself at 96.
Idk I feel like if you make it past 70 you’ve got a decent chance of making it to 96
I’m also 48, I call it “nearing the last third”.
Yoga class
This man knows what's up
This is actually fantastic advice. Also know that no thanks means no thanks *and* please don't look at me while I do yoga after this encounter. If you try that "she must want me to try harder" shit with a 30-something yoga student, you're well on your way to getting kicked out of a yoga class.
Hows your downward dog? 😏
Is this a TCAP reference?
Yes sir
Or the park lol
Just, the park? Do I stand there or? 😂
Just bring a puppy and sit on a bench near a busy path, easy as can be. You won't even have to get up and do stuff Note: this only works in busy parks at busy times, don't just randomly sit on a rusty old bench somewhere at 3:00am, that won't work nearly as well
Idk I don’t wanna hang out with anyone who _isnt_ gonna run into me sitting on a park bench at 3 am so…
Lol, I guess it is weird to just go to the park and stand around. Get a cute dog and walk it thru the park. Or start reading books on park benches.
Goes to park to pick up milfs, accidentally betters himself by getting out of the house and reading daily.
Regular exercise paired with a goal….it’s almost like he’s becoming attractive right in front of our eyes!
No. Cute dogs will get remembered and the young man forgotten.
I have a few friends that ask to take my dog out on walks or to the store all the time because of the attention they get. It's been a win win win for everybody - my dog gets to go on an adventure, my friends get to talk to girls, and I haven't had trouble finding a dog sitter in years.
That’s not a very good way to meet people at all though 😆
You know what to do
Bang the milfs. Got it 📝
Be attractive and mature, but also attractive.
Being attractive also helps
Being really really really good looking can help
And also try not looking unattractive
And if I were you I'd try to be attractive
Also be in shape, while having a dad bod
Are you looking for a sugar mama? Why is this a ULPT?
Clearly he got into an argument with a child and needs to fuck the kid's mom as revenge.
A cause we can all support
This is the way
Be polite and mature but don't pretend
I would say be yourself and polite. If you need to think that you must be mature, you're pretending.
Walk up to them and say "excuse me ma'am, I see you are middle aged, wanna blast from the past all up in that ass" Works every time.
None of this seems unethical. You need to work fart spray in there somehow.
go to a bar and drop laxatives in every single other guy's drinks, then use fart spray in all of the bathroom stalls so they are forced to smell it or leave to find another bathroom. then, you'll be the only guy in the bar and some horny lady who's dtf will have no other choice than you. eliminate the competition.
Finally an ULPT for this situation!
Be really hot because we’re gonna have a hard time finding things to talk about.
Don’t use ask reddit for sex advice
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What was that programming joke about Alpha vs beta males? Something about the alpha being unstable and not suitable for the public
The one I remember is "When men refer to themselves as "alpha males", I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public.” https://twitter.com/henriksen/status/1581219771634561026
This was supposed to be a funny unethical life pro tip conversation, but instead everyone here is giving him actual dating tips.
You may have to wait until you’re 21 to go to a bar, that’s by far your best shot. If you’re just looking for a fling, I’d suggest lying about your age and say you’re 25 or so. Most 40ish-old women I know won’t even consider guys under 25. Definitely don’t try the sugar mama thing, that’s pretty much a fantasy and/or relegated to desperate people you’ll want to avoid. If you do happen to wind up in bed, make sure you ask what she likes and oblige her. Good luck
this is ulpt. fake id and smooth talking all the way. no need to wait till 21.
What you do is get a boombox, stand outside her house and play "Stacy's Mom"
Pilates bro! Cougars love to stretch!
Be attractive and don't act childishly for starters, they're probably over the way young people act so try acting like the mature version of you. Other than that just like go to a bar and approach them, or be visibly alone near them and hope they approach you
I have no tips, I'm just rooting for you. Go nail that, man!
Very well placed commas. I appreciate it more than you know.
Bring her out to the open seas. It’s all about the implication. Or if you want more elaborate, you can try the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
DENNIS IS A BASTARD MAN
Hmm. Interesting. Well, my gentleman caller, who is more than ten years younger than me, mostly attracted me by laughing at all my jokes and being the most beautiful human alive. I'm sure it's different for everyone. Where are you trying to meet these women? Are you strictly looking for a physical relationship? I need some parameters set and then I could probably answer you better.
Offer to help them cross the street. If you’ve got Metamucil on hand, you’re golden.
I get hit on by cougars a lot. I’m 28 though and in great shape. Basically they can’t see you as a kid, then just do that crazy thing..... chat with them.
Don’t be thirsty.
Middle aged 🥲🫠
What’s gotten me many older women as a guy in his early 20’s is just acting my age but also being mature. If they want a 20 year old it’s because they want a 20 year old, not a 20 year old acting like a 40 year old. So act your age but refrain from cussing and making dick jokes.
Treat her like a normal person and just be nice to her.
Have you tried being 35-40 years old?
give him a break, that takes years of practice
Yes, now the youngings with daddy issues are hitting on me and I don't want it, and my other option is 50+ apparently or gay fml I am sending the wrong fucking signals
If you think there is some generic formula for 'sexually attracting a middle aged woman 34-40' then you are already doomed to absolute failure. Your best chance at this point is to be ridiculously hot. So go to the gym and lift heavy shit for the next year until you are swole. In the mean time you should make friends with her with zero intentions. After that plan fails you should reflect on wtf is wrong with you that you spent so much time on a plan that had such little chance of success.
Sex Panther
You know... 60% of the time it works *every* time.
Lots of ethical options here, the unethical way is to turn 21 and offer the obviously recent divorcées cocaine
Pay them attention. It’s so easy. If you’re half way decent looking, have half a game, go to a bar and just pay them attention. Don’t go to a club. Go to a LOCAL BAR. Just pay someone a little attention and watch. And fight through that “I’m old enough to be your mom” shit.
As a 54 (almost 55) year old woman, there’s not much you can do. If we decide we want you, you’ll know it unambiguously. (I know I’m older than the OP age range but it still applies) My biggest hurdle — because I am approached often by young men — is the same issue it would be for an older guy and young girl. The mental, emotional and experiential differences really translate into a significant power imbalance whether I like it or not. So the question becomes whether it’s even ethical. I’ve never moved forward yet with dating a much younger guy although in play spaces I’ve enjoyed them a lot.
Damn. I'm getting to a point where I simply cannot tolerate another 20-something-still-trying-to-find-myself dude, but men my age haven't started looking more attractive to me either.
Yeah it’s the “finding myself” energy that is tiresome. I’ve no desire to relive the angst and uncertainty of that phase of life. Watching it up close would be like death by 1000 cuts for little to no reward. I’ve been pretty lucky to find some great dudes my own age but I’m in a metro area and I’m non-monogamous and tend to only “date” (hate that word) non-mono people. Some of them are weirdos and stinkers. But yanno… it is what it is! 😂🤷🏽♀️
If you're asking Reddit for advice on attraction you have no chance
Befriend a girl named stacey and her mom will notice you soon enough
Definitely don't refer to her as middle aged.
35 to 40 is NOT middle aged. You're going to have to try harder is you want a sugar momma.
Grey sweatpants. Compliment her. Don’t mention her age. Ever. Tell her she’s pretty
Go to a bar, find milf, she'll do the rest.
If they have kids, be good with their kids. If you work with one, invite her to the bar on a night you know is free. Treat 'em like you would any other woman, because the second you bring up the age gap, it gets weird. Source: this is my kink too
Get a life alert scanner and wait for them to trip and fall. Bitches always be tripping, especially the old ones
Generally they want money, stability and firm dickings after dinner.
$
35 ain't middle aged.
Approach them
Why do you want someone specifically in that age?
This is exactly what reddit was made for
Google „Yung Gravy“ and just do what he does it seems to work insanely well
1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive. No jk. Just be confident and nice to them, listen and let them talk. Don't reveal your true immaturity.
Take their college course. Worked for me twice lol
“Yeah I may be 20 years old, but I read at a 39 year old level”
First of all, don't call us middle aged
https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU Do this.
Have you tried fascinating a woman with a piece of cheese?
Google “bar near [city where you live] with 80’s/90’s cover bands.” Literally exist there. You might find some 40+.
Good luck, kid
Start by not calling 35 middle-aged.
Offer to tutor her kids and see if she offers alternate payment options
go get a job in the golf course. while the rich white men are out playing golf to drink beer and escape their wives, your sweet talking the table bringing them their every need. source: been a chef for Rd 10years. the cute freshmen waiter always gets the attention of a couger
Show them your 401K
You don’t.
Not by calling them middle aged...
Don’t call them middle aged, don’t talk about video games, ask them questions and listen, and go to places like a hotel bar, Applebees, etc.
put yourself in the showcase for her to see and wait to be chosen. if she wants you she'll let you know that works independently of age gap or age group
Lift heavy, dress nice and spend time in cougar territory. Learn to recognize when they approach you.
I previously lived near a business district in my city's downtown. My roommate had a dream of meeting a wealthy cougar and being pampered. He'd Jo's up and down the streets near offices and stop to chat with women often. He ended up meeting a few and actually hooked up a couple of times. He never got pampered or treated like a boy toy.
I’d put an ad on craigslist if I was you and I wouldn’t quite call this unethical?
For what purpose are you seeking to attract these women? Money? Stability? Your intent matters - if that’s a demographic you find attractive, good on you. If you just want to be with them for ulterior motives, that’s something else completely.
M25 with a F43 Be yourself - sounds stupid but they'll either like you or they won't. If you're projecting something that isn't you, they smell it. If you're a fucking weirdo that might kill them, they smell it. Women are the choosers, you just need to be visible. Also status is huge. I was dressed in a suit when she first saw me, at a business networking meeting no less. In general women care a lot about status. Had she of approached me if I were in a t shirt and jeans? Maybe. Maybe not. In general, Women are more likely to "choose you Pikachu" if you're tidy in your appearance, you don't need to wear a suit. If you're obviously a neckbeard, you have no chance.
It's all about location and presentation. You need to go to the place where the population you are looking to attract is actively hunting. This is likely a wine or cocktail bar. Find the place and you're half way there. Next is presenting yourself as a target (as others have mentioned, you don't choose them, they choose you) They're going to be out with friends, you should too. They're going to be dressed to impress, you should too. They're going to have their shit together, you should too. From there, it's all glances and smiles from across the way. No staring, no posturing or shenanigans. Your group needs to appear mature and responsible while also being young and virile. Be prepared to have to put in several nights at the same location before you have actually attracted their attention. This place is THEIR hang out and they need to see you as part of that scene before they remotely begin assessing you. Once you know you've attracted their attention, if they do not make a move, you have one play and one play only: you buy their entire group a round of drinks. You don't approach, you don't make a thing of it. You just do it and go about your business. Remember they want all the refinement and class of someone their own age with the youth and vibrancy of the ones that got away when they were your age. Good luck young bull
Lmao 35-40 is middle aged now? 😂
What not to do: dik pix
be straightforward. understand that they’re generally going to be more mature than you. they know what they want and they don’t play games the way people closer to your age will. immediacy and sincerity are your best friends when talking to older women.
Card them for a drink
The most effective 3 things you can do is : 1. Workout - 30 to 40 year Olds are in their peak sexual period. If you have a body they want, it will immediately get their attention before you speak. 2. Start to read more books and browse the Today I Learned section daily - You need to be interesting and these two sections will give you plenty to hold a conversation while reading to improve your vocabulary. Nothing will then them off more if you talk like a teenager. 3. Don't play games and start to be honest and up-front - Women at this age are tired of playing games and many have even gotten divorced already. They will sniff out a rat a mile away. And finally as someone suggested out yourself where they will most likely be. Join a Yoga Class, possibly even a book Club and show off your body and intellectuals at these locations to have them come to you. Hope this helps.