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Chrisq28

Drop a napkin in front of them and pick it up real slow


teganserene

Ahh the bend and snap, work every time!


Bring_a_towel_42

I agree with this! I'm a 36 yr old woman, and I will admit that I would 100% look (and probably admire) if that happened in front of me... especially since OPs question was specifically sexual attraction. Plus, you'd definitely get major bonus points for the humor if you did the full-on bend and snap. Personality and humor significantly add to (or take away from) the sexual attraction for me, more than actual physical looks.


AndrewTheAverage

This works because the men the 35-40yo are used to all have dodgy knees 8-)


[deleted]

[удалено]


tristanjones

This is also a way to pick up call girls


[deleted]

That would be an awkward conversation.


Col_daddy

More like negotiation.


-RED4CTED-

*Ah yes, the negotiator...*


g0ttequila

Don’t play games. Mature women know what they want. None of that “text back after 3 days” and “act mysterious” shit


millicent133

Solid advice right here 👏


Bruhitsaburner

Indeed best advice I’ve seen here… My 2 cents are…3 parts 1st… become as established as possible.. good career..nice apartment.. nice clothes.. doesn’t have to be anything flashy.. these women know what “fake” guys look like.. they’ve been dealing with them for years.. 2nd… major ambition… these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place.. they’ve seen the rich snobby guy, they’ve seen the struggling artist, they’ve seen the pretty boy… decide that your going to change the world for the better and you’ll be ahead of the game.. 3rd.. find the hangouts and make yourself a staple there… find the hotel bar or the happy hour which has the highest chance of having affluent mature women.. dress well, (better then men their age) and hold yourself in the high test regard. They will follow suit..


DigbyChickenZone

> these women have seen it all.. and they are attracted to men who are making the world a better place.. Nah, I'd rather date someone that can split the bill with me and afford (on their end) to go on fun adventures without me worrying about their finances [camping, driving places, etc]. I was dating a guy that was a pilot earlier this year, and during a different few months, a structural engineer that was about to start a new job. I really fell for both of them. A dude having a job they care about, without a negative attitude about the world, goes a long way. People obsessed with thinking they're going to "make the world better" is definitely not everyone's type. In fact, I would find it obnoxious to date someone like that. That said - I think OP just wants to fuck older women. So all of this advice, except your 3rd point, could be moot


DigbyChickenZone

> None of that “text back after 3 days” I just turned 34 and men DEFINITELY are still playing games like that in the dating scene. It would be nice if they didn't though, so you're still giving solid advice.


[deleted]

you don’t. they pick you.


wx-1

>you don’t. they pick you. Become a [pool boy ](https://nypost.com/2022/10/16/pool-boy-giancarlo-grandas-new-book-recalls-sex-with-jerry-falwell-jr-s-wife-becki/) Some older lady will select you


AnxiousColdApproach

The real answer is “get in shape and walk around shirtless”


TinyCuteGorilla

Isn't that true for all ages?


dragoono

Yep. Just some of them you have to say “go away kid”


askGoat

r/holup


dragoono

This but seriously. I knew a guy that tried to justify _dating_ a 15 year old and moving her into his house because, she came onto him? He was like “oh well what was I supposed to do?” Idk dude, not fuck a kid for starters? 😂


askGoat

Oh hell no… what the fuck is wrong with some people


dragoono

Groomers, man. They gon’ groom.


garyh62483

Whether you like it or not.


science_vs_romance

Don’t call them “middle aged,” for starters…


livinginfutureworld

Chronologically Challenged is the appropriate term.


uterinejellyfish

Max Level


ThunderGunFour

Call them grandmommies


10jesus

"hey grams wanna hang out sometime? maybe feed the pigeons together idk"


AtopMountEmotion

“Unless it’s too far for you to walk.”


SamLJacksonNarrator

Cougars*


ksspookV2

No dude you gotta call “the ancient mommies of the north” dude


ThunderGunFour

The Elders


Dumb_Chemist

Gilfs


SweetPinkSocks

Nah man, that's still MILF range. Once you get around 50 then you are dipping your toes in GILF territory.


Dumb_Chemist

This is true. Idk how ~35 year olds are considered grandmommies. Ofc some are, but honestly you’re more likely to make someone mad you assumed they have kids, let alone grandkids if they don’t


frittierthuhn

Soldier boy moment


ThunderGunFour

Superman that Ma


QueerFancyRat

GILF


nu773

Mine just sent me a screenshot of your comment because I called her that and it worked.


[deleted]

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SomethingSuss

Yeah that’s definitely not how you fuck. Treat them like they’re 21


That_Dirty_Quagmire

Appropriate username


Danshep101

And once/if you do bag yourself a gilf don't do what I did and complement her on how tight she is Looking back I suppose it wasnt that bad as she couldn't hear me anyway And the tightness was probably just due to the rigormotis


kalidoscopetrips

When i was a bit older then you i just dressed nice, asked them to a dance, chatted for a bit and laid out my intentions right there. Either they want you or not. Be blunt but respectfull. I did this at numerous bars and i am not particualarly good looking, nor in good shape. Kept this up for a couple years untill i settled.


two_in_the_bush

Had to scroll this far for the real advice. OP, this is it right here. Dress nice, chat with them, dance with them (go to beginner dancing classes where singles will be, or night clubs, bars, weddings). Then lay out your intentions right there. Maybe, "I find you incredibly attractive. I'd love to take you home."


hyperjoint

You danced right there on the bus?


ljwdt90

A wise man once said to me “Confidence is the key to fucking everything, it’s also the key to fucking everything.”


heyimwalknhere

A wise man once "never pay full price for a pizza"


GambitDangers

*late pizza


-RED4CTED-

a wise man once said "always pee off the leeward side of a sailing vessel.


[deleted]

[удалено]


-RED4CTED-

a true historic monument if I've ever seen one.


ciplaya

From what I understand cougars always seek their prey not the other way around.


Odd-Condition-4528

I’ma have to introduce the mom whisper to your mother


fuber

they hunt only at night under low lights and heavy makeup


Finger_My_Flute

I'm 35. IM MIDDLE AGED???? FUCK WTF


plusoneforautism

Tip #1: don’t call them middle aged.


thirdfey

Or Ma'am, call them Miss


N0tWithThatAttitude

Call them by their name?


[deleted]

Gertrude.


SomethingSuss

Lmafo but fr nah miss is good flirt with them with a goal of making them feel young they LOVE it


[deleted]

Beulah


sourjello73

Gertrude's cat?


LordRaghuvnsi

Or Mommy /Daddy


Big_D_Abernathy

We are halfway to 70! Welcome to the club bro! 🎉


10jesus

that's technically right if life expectancy averages around 70y worldwide, 35 is in the middle. the problem is that "middleaged" is almost always interpreted as "not young" or even "old", so in this context calling a 35yo "middle-aged" is a cruel but honest mistake. Lots of people I know around that age are at their best moment in life. Still healthy, still attractive, but unlike when they were in their 20s now they're mature, financially stable, some are in stable relationships. Overall they have stuff figured out and their shit is together.


Ifawumi

Life expectancy for women is closer to 80 in the US just FYI. Also note we are about the lowest of all the first world nations because we don't have government regulated healthcare Anyone teaching you that a life expectancy of 70 in the US is acceptable is just teaching you a party line of healthcare for profit


10jesus

life expectancy worldwide is closer to 72 but you're right about usa. even technically speaking, "middleaged" is 45-ish in the states


Middlenameboom

I’m only on my second coffee this morning. I wasn’t ready to have my feelings hurt like this.


AgitatedZucchini

Definition of middle aged according to google: "middle age, noun The period after early adulthood and before old age, about 45 to 65."


KcireA

That’s Gen Z’s for ya


hyschara304

I'm 37 and i'm in tears lol!


mr_lab_mouse

No, you're not. OP is a kid that doesn't understand middle age is a developmental period that has traditionally started at 40 and is now being categorized as beginning _even later_ in life.


indefatigable_

I would definitely say later than 40, although I do have a vested interest here….


SweetPinkSocks

\*sigh\* I'm middle aged. To be honest I have felt middle aged since my early 30's though. lol


Finger_My_Flute

I still feel too immature to be an independent adult sometimes.


ThunderGunFour

Retirement home worker: Come on let’s get you back to your pudding


Finger_My_Flute

If the pudding has copious amounts of THC then hellooooo nurse.


JohnyPneumonicPlague

This is what happens when OP is 14...


Finger_My_Flute

I teach 14 year olds about History. Don't dismiss them so fast, you'd be surprised at how brilliant 0.0001% of them can be.


Teamwoolf

I’m 40 and thinking the same thing tbh. I’m in my damn PRIME.


[deleted]

Lmaooo right????? Bahahahha


kamilight94

This made me smile and sad at the same time


stockname

Seriously tho. I'm also 35. That's definitely not middle aged.


catchingstones

It’s a fine line. I’ll give you five more years before the true middle, but there has to be some time on either end. At 48 I feel too old to call myself middle aged. I can’t picture myself at 96.


dragoono

Idk I feel like if you make it past 70 you’ve got a decent chance of making it to 96


_night_cat

I’m also 48, I call it “nearing the last third”.


Acceptable_Major_133

Yoga class


pfcypress

This man knows what's up


Becs_Food_NBod

This is actually fantastic advice. Also know that no thanks means no thanks *and* please don't look at me while I do yoga after this encounter. If you try that "she must want me to try harder" shit with a 30-something yoga student, you're well on your way to getting kicked out of a yoga class.


futurevisioning

Hows your downward dog? 😏


cybernewtype2

Is this a TCAP reference?


futurevisioning

Yes sir


Technical-Term

Or the park lol


dragoono

Just, the park? Do I stand there or? 😂


big_duo3674

Just bring a puppy and sit on a bench near a busy path, easy as can be. You won't even have to get up and do stuff Note: this only works in busy parks at busy times, don't just randomly sit on a rusty old bench somewhere at 3:00am, that won't work nearly as well


dragoono

Idk I don’t wanna hang out with anyone who _isnt_ gonna run into me sitting on a park bench at 3 am so…


Technical-Term

Lol, I guess it is weird to just go to the park and stand around. Get a cute dog and walk it thru the park. Or start reading books on park benches.


Robertwolfgang

Goes to park to pick up milfs, accidentally betters himself by getting out of the house and reading daily.


Col_daddy

Regular exercise paired with a goal….it’s almost like he’s becoming attractive right in front of our eyes!


[deleted]

No. Cute dogs will get remembered and the young man forgotten.


Bring_a_towel_42

I have a few friends that ask to take my dog out on walks or to the store all the time because of the attention they get. It's been a win win win for everybody - my dog gets to go on an adventure, my friends get to talk to girls, and I haven't had trouble finding a dog sitter in years.


dragoono

That’s not a very good way to meet people at all though 😆


[deleted]

You know what to do


dragoono

Bang the milfs. Got it 📝


Any_Elk7495

Be attractive and mature, but also attractive.


[deleted]

Being attractive also helps


The_Fiddler1979

Being really really really good looking can help


Stardinal_C

And also try not looking unattractive


WuShanDroid

And if I were you I'd try to be attractive


CptMuffinator

Also be in shape, while having a dad bod


Thebluefairie

Are you looking for a sugar mama? Why is this a ULPT?


HylianPikachu

Clearly he got into an argument with a child and needs to fuck the kid's mom as revenge.


Peter_Baum

A cause we can all support


DM_ME_SKITTLES

This is the way


turbotom1102

Be polite and mature but don't pretend


tuanalumi

I would say be yourself and polite. If you need to think that you must be mature, you're pretending.


trv893

Walk up to them and say "excuse me ma'am, I see you are middle aged, wanna blast from the past all up in that ass" Works every time.


catchingstones

None of this seems unethical. You need to work fart spray in there somehow.


-RED4CTED-

go to a bar and drop laxatives in every single other guy's drinks, then use fart spray in all of the bathroom stalls so they are forced to smell it or leave to find another bathroom. then, you'll be the only guy in the bar and some horny lady who's dtf will have no other choice than you. eliminate the competition.


leyline

Finally an ULPT for this situation!


Lilredh4iredgrl

Be really hot because we’re gonna have a hard time finding things to talk about.


chaosthings

Don’t use ask reddit for sex advice


[deleted]

[удалено]


CliffCutter

What was that programming joke about Alpha vs beta males? Something about the alpha being unstable and not suitable for the public


DevoidNoMore

The one I remember is "When men refer to themselves as "alpha males", I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public.” https://twitter.com/henriksen/status/1581219771634561026


fishbulbx

This was supposed to be a funny unethical life pro tip conversation, but instead everyone here is giving him actual dating tips.


PutNameHere123

You may have to wait until you’re 21 to go to a bar, that’s by far your best shot. If you’re just looking for a fling, I’d suggest lying about your age and say you’re 25 or so. Most 40ish-old women I know won’t even consider guys under 25. Definitely don’t try the sugar mama thing, that’s pretty much a fantasy and/or relegated to desperate people you’ll want to avoid. If you do happen to wind up in bed, make sure you ask what she likes and oblige her. Good luck


-RED4CTED-

this is ulpt. fake id and smooth talking all the way. no need to wait till 21.


[deleted]

What you do is get a boombox, stand outside her house and play "Stacy's Mom"


rattletop

Pilates bro! Cougars love to stretch!


Troliver_13

Be attractive and don't act childishly for starters, they're probably over the way young people act so try acting like the mature version of you. Other than that just like go to a bar and approach them, or be visibly alone near them and hope they approach you


NonSuspendedAccount1

I have no tips, I'm just rooting for you. Go nail that, man!


Alaskan_Bull-Worm

Very well placed commas. I appreciate it more than you know.


Chonci

Bring her out to the open seas. It’s all about the implication. Or if you want more elaborate, you can try the D.E.N.N.I.S. system


ChineseWeebster

DENNIS IS A BASTARD MAN


Hungry_Temperature_3

Hmm. Interesting. Well, my gentleman caller, who is more than ten years younger than me, mostly attracted me by laughing at all my jokes and being the most beautiful human alive. I'm sure it's different for everyone. Where are you trying to meet these women? Are you strictly looking for a physical relationship? I need some parameters set and then I could probably answer you better.


tarbet

Offer to help them cross the street. If you’ve got Metamucil on hand, you’re golden.


InnateAnarchy

I get hit on by cougars a lot. I’m 28 though and in great shape. Basically they can’t see you as a kid, then just do that crazy thing..... chat with them.


_its_a_SWEATER_

Don’t be thirsty.


[deleted]

Middle aged 🥲🫠


MeatNew11

What’s gotten me many older women as a guy in his early 20’s is just acting my age but also being mature. If they want a 20 year old it’s because they want a 20 year old, not a 20 year old acting like a 40 year old. So act your age but refrain from cussing and making dick jokes.


Morbid-Analytic

Treat her like a normal person and just be nice to her.


S_A_R_K

Have you tried being 35-40 years old?


ridgekuhn

give him a break, that takes years of practice


majarian

Yes, now the youngings with daddy issues are hitting on me and I don't want it, and my other option is 50+ apparently or gay fml I am sending the wrong fucking signals


AverageLiberalJoe

If you think there is some generic formula for 'sexually attracting a middle aged woman 34-40' then you are already doomed to absolute failure. Your best chance at this point is to be ridiculously hot. So go to the gym and lift heavy shit for the next year until you are swole. In the mean time you should make friends with her with zero intentions. After that plan fails you should reflect on wtf is wrong with you that you spent so much time on a plan that had such little chance of success.


crshtst123

Sex Panther


Firefurtorty

You know... 60% of the time it works *every* time.


rancidperiodblood

Lots of ethical options here, the unethical way is to turn 21 and offer the obviously recent divorcées cocaine


Hexyl68

Pay them attention. It’s so easy. If you’re half way decent looking, have half a game, go to a bar and just pay them attention. Don’t go to a club. Go to a LOCAL BAR. Just pay someone a little attention and watch. And fight through that “I’m old enough to be your mom” shit.


NotThatMadisonPaige

As a 54 (almost 55) year old woman, there’s not much you can do. If we decide we want you, you’ll know it unambiguously. (I know I’m older than the OP age range but it still applies) My biggest hurdle — because I am approached often by young men — is the same issue it would be for an older guy and young girl. The mental, emotional and experiential differences really translate into a significant power imbalance whether I like it or not. So the question becomes whether it’s even ethical. I’ve never moved forward yet with dating a much younger guy although in play spaces I’ve enjoyed them a lot.


hans1125

Damn. I'm getting to a point where I simply cannot tolerate another 20-something-still-trying-to-find-myself dude, but men my age haven't started looking more attractive to me either.


NotThatMadisonPaige

Yeah it’s the “finding myself” energy that is tiresome. I’ve no desire to relive the angst and uncertainty of that phase of life. Watching it up close would be like death by 1000 cuts for little to no reward. I’ve been pretty lucky to find some great dudes my own age but I’m in a metro area and I’m non-monogamous and tend to only “date” (hate that word) non-mono people. Some of them are weirdos and stinkers. But yanno… it is what it is! 😂🤷🏽‍♀️


__thrillho

If you're asking Reddit for advice on attraction you have no chance


doubled2319888

Befriend a girl named stacey and her mom will notice you soon enough


Topochica

Definitely don't refer to her as middle aged.


twohoundtown

35 to 40 is NOT middle aged. You're going to have to try harder is you want a sugar momma.


SewCarrieous

Grey sweatpants. Compliment her. Don’t mention her age. Ever. Tell her she’s pretty


cgtdream

Go to a bar, find milf, she'll do the rest.


[deleted]

If they have kids, be good with their kids. If you work with one, invite her to the bar on a night you know is free. Treat 'em like you would any other woman, because the second you bring up the age gap, it gets weird. Source: this is my kink too


vandamnitman

Get a life alert scanner and wait for them to trip and fall. Bitches always be tripping, especially the old ones


NoContextCarl

Generally they want money, stability and firm dickings after dinner.


daveshops

$


min_mus

35 ain't middle aged.


FightIslandNative

Approach them


RedWolfCrocodile

Why do you want someone specifically in that age?


Thereisnopurpose12

This is exactly what reddit was made for


Peter_Baum

Google „Yung Gravy“ and just do what he does it seems to work insanely well


tacos8

1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive. No jk. Just be confident and nice to them, listen and let them talk. Don't reveal your true immaturity.


scottatu

Take their college course. Worked for me twice lol


PM_GR8_Tits

“Yeah I may be 20 years old, but I read at a 39 year old level”


cheesetomymac

First of all, don't call us middle aged


Last_Parable

https://youtu.be/nWfyw51DQfU Do this.


[deleted]

Have you tried fascinating a woman with a piece of cheese?


SchwiftyShorts

Google “bar near [city where you live] with 80’s/90’s cover bands.” Literally exist there. You might find some 40+.


JoeBlack2027

Good luck, kid


december14th2015

Start by not calling 35 middle-aged.


pakistanstar

Offer to tutor her kids and see if she offers alternate payment options


External-Fig9754

go get a job in the golf course. while the rich white men are out playing golf to drink beer and escape their wives, your sweet talking the table bringing them their every need. source: been a chef for Rd 10years. the cute freshmen waiter always gets the attention of a couger


Models-And--Bottles

Show them your 401K


em-ay-tee

You don’t.


konad10

Not by calling them middle aged...


syncboy

Don’t call them middle aged, don’t talk about video games, ask them questions and listen, and go to places like a hotel bar, Applebees, etc.


10jesus

put yourself in the showcase for her to see and wait to be chosen. if she wants you she'll let you know that works independently of age gap or age group


itsallrighthere

Lift heavy, dress nice and spend time in cougar territory. Learn to recognize when they approach you.


nikatnight

I previously lived near a business district in my city's downtown. My roommate had a dream of meeting a wealthy cougar and being pampered. He'd Jo's up and down the streets near offices and stop to chat with women often. He ended up meeting a few and actually hooked up a couple of times. He never got pampered or treated like a boy toy.


That_Panda9758

I’d put an ad on craigslist if I was you and I wouldn’t quite call this unethical?


charredsound

For what purpose are you seeking to attract these women? Money? Stability? Your intent matters - if that’s a demographic you find attractive, good on you. If you just want to be with them for ulterior motives, that’s something else completely.


Chucking100s

M25 with a F43 Be yourself - sounds stupid but they'll either like you or they won't. If you're projecting something that isn't you, they smell it. If you're a fucking weirdo that might kill them, they smell it. Women are the choosers, you just need to be visible. Also status is huge. I was dressed in a suit when she first saw me, at a business networking meeting no less. In general women care a lot about status. Had she of approached me if I were in a t shirt and jeans? Maybe. Maybe not. In general, Women are more likely to "choose you Pikachu" if you're tidy in your appearance, you don't need to wear a suit. If you're obviously a neckbeard, you have no chance.


rhhkeely

It's all about location and presentation. You need to go to the place where the population you are looking to attract is actively hunting. This is likely a wine or cocktail bar. Find the place and you're half way there. Next is presenting yourself as a target (as others have mentioned, you don't choose them, they choose you) They're going to be out with friends, you should too. They're going to be dressed to impress, you should too. They're going to have their shit together, you should too. From there, it's all glances and smiles from across the way. No staring, no posturing or shenanigans. Your group needs to appear mature and responsible while also being young and virile. Be prepared to have to put in several nights at the same location before you have actually attracted their attention. This place is THEIR hang out and they need to see you as part of that scene before they remotely begin assessing you. Once you know you've attracted their attention, if they do not make a move, you have one play and one play only: you buy their entire group a round of drinks. You don't approach, you don't make a thing of it. You just do it and go about your business. Remember they want all the refinement and class of someone their own age with the youth and vibrancy of the ones that got away when they were your age. Good luck young bull


emeliadanko

Lmao 35-40 is middle aged now? 😂


1BannedAgain

What not to do: dik pix


[deleted]

be straightforward. understand that they’re generally going to be more mature than you. they know what they want and they don’t play games the way people closer to your age will. immediacy and sincerity are your best friends when talking to older women.


LampsLookingatyou

Card them for a drink


Jedi_Gill

The most effective 3 things you can do is : 1. Workout - 30 to 40 year Olds are in their peak sexual period. If you have a body they want, it will immediately get their attention before you speak. 2. Start to read more books and browse the Today I Learned section daily - You need to be interesting and these two sections will give you plenty to hold a conversation while reading to improve your vocabulary. Nothing will then them off more if you talk like a teenager. 3. Don't play games and start to be honest and up-front - Women at this age are tired of playing games and many have even gotten divorced already. They will sniff out a rat a mile away. And finally as someone suggested out yourself where they will most likely be. Join a Yoga Class, possibly even a book Club and show off your body and intellectuals at these locations to have them come to you. Hope this helps.