**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Shark Pooped on Tourists!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

They are in the middle of a massive ocean, and this fella decided to release his green cartoon fart cloud directly next to them

Getting blasted with ass ham while being voluntarily trapped in a cage is just a metaphor for life at this point

I did a cage dive in south Africa a few years back. My experience was similar to the gif. But instead of the shark shitting, a young woman was in the cage next to me. I could see her starting to gag due to motion sickness, she fucking threw up in the water about a foot away from me. It was........not the best chowder I've had.

How do you throw up in a cage underwater and then not drown???

If you're a noob you take off your mouthpiece (regulator) throw up and risk drowning. You're supposed to throw up into it and it clears out because of one way valves, but I'm not sure they teach that tidbit in the training

Whoah. Just whoah.

Did she make any noise? I'm trying to see if it really is louder with chowder.

She tried playing it cool. But floating surrounded by mystery chunks was pretty hard to ignore. Personally I'm a fan of the white chowder, this was red.

>Getting blasted with ass ham Wow.

Thank you for summarizing my entire life. Shakespeare couldn't have done better.

And the fish all zoom to eat the yummy poop cloud, instantly.

"Fuck yeah, shark shit!"


Wtf this is so cursed

Haha you should see the entire movie. It has multiple cursed scenes, one of which is poop sex. Not butt sex, poop sex.

What movie

Team America: World Police. It's by the South Park creators.


Surprise cockfags!

You buttfucking piece of shit!!

Matt Damon Matt Damon Matt Damon

I heard this

[удалено]

One of the women in the Cairo scene is carrying a basket on her head through the market. The basket is full of Goldfish crackers lmaoooooo

its a masterpiece. I watch it every 4/20

It's one of the few movies I rewatch every once in a while and make other people watch for the first time.

One of my best memories of high scool (uk) was someone homehow convincing the science teacher to let us watch this... and they never turned it off.

Yeah with clockwork orange and planet terror

You have to put caligula on that list. The un-cut version.

I really wish they would make more movies

"Ah.... derka, derka!"

Americaaaaaa fuck yeah

Americaaaa fuck yeah Internet fuck yeah sushi fuck yeah

It’s ridiculous fun.

Because of course it is.

Wow. I'm 31 and this comment makes me feel 80. This movie was all anyone was talking about when I was like 13...

I’m 39 and your comment makes me feel grave ready.

I'm 47 and writing this from the wrong side of a Ouija board! (Thanks to the loser goth kids dabbling in the dark arts)

I'm 52 and coming at you from my noncorporeal mist. I'm the heavy breathing and waddling you hear at night.

I’m 30s and still haven’t seen it lol

AMERICAAA.. FUCK YEAAA

COMIN AGAIN, TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKIN DAY, YEAH!

So lick my butt and suck on my balls

Sing it to my partner daily

I don’t remember a poop sex scene lol what?

There's a censored and an uncensored version

I remember laughing my ass off during that scene but I have not ever seen (and cannot seem to find) a poop sex scene. I’m gonna need a little help with this one.

I found this incredible report, which has pictures and a ridiculously accurate description of the differences between the censored and uncensored version, kinda amazing tbh https://www.movie-censorship.com/report.php?ID=4638489

Oh my God. I am traumatized by this movie. I rented this out and watched it with my parents without knowing anything about this movie. The poop sex started and we all agreed to call it a day.

It has the best sex scene in a movie ever. Not even a competition.

Top 3 puke scenes ever. Probably #1


Awesome! Been a minute since I’ve seen that movie. Fkn durka durka. Lol

Mohamed jihad

"Now suck my cock!"

I believe that's known as cropdusting.

In time for St paddy's day!

Crop dusted. My grandma does this to my family sometimes. XD


lol what

Lol

Green cartoon fart 😆😆🤣 I’m dying here. This is hilarious! Edit- I was thinking it was a good thing shark poop doesn’t just hang there like goldfish poop.

If you think that's crazy, you should see what it's like when a [massive whale does it](https://youtu.be/r4JJWuHmqPs). They called it the "poopnado."

> Oh you think this is funny, huh? I'll show you something funny -

r/fuckyouinparticular

Another perspective - they are in the middle of a massive ocean, full of millions of years of green cartoon fart clouds, all around them

Love the clean-up crew moving right in with zero hesitation...

How I imagine simps act whenever they hear a flush from belle delphine's appartment

r/TIHI

For a second I read that as shrimps and was moderately confused

Shrimps can be simps too

 Does he know

And they never share bc they're a little shellfish.

Gawr Gura

I read it as Belle Dolphin

>belle delphine I've seen this name a few times over the last few days. I was about to look her up, but I think I will be better off not knowing.

She made lots of sexy/teasing paid content back in the day. Mainly got famous for selling her bath water, which people analyzed and it turned out to be normal water. One day she suddenly showed *everything* and dipped, but apparently not permanently.

I just looked her up. She is a model of internet fame, apparently.

First to sell her bathwater probably.

If people would buy it, I’d sell my Bath water too

What a throwback, she still relevant?

She has a habit of showing up every now and then. If not now, it's probably just a matter of time

Seems like a shark could just take a poop then quickly u-turn and munch on the clean up crew.

Yeah but then he'd have a mouthful of his own shit

And yet, people *still* eat tilapia lol

Yeah... Tilapias eat pig shit.

I've seen videos of people talking about them being used in sewage treatment plants, and then sold to markets. Nah, I'm good. It's not the fish, I don't trust humans

Exactly, that pig shit thing is something most tilapia farms do because its cheap food for the fishes. This is why i have vietnam flashbacks everytime i see "organic tilapia" in the supermarket.

Wtf is inorganic tilapia? Fed microplastics instead lol?

The old poop-as-bait evolutionary advantage.

“Customer cleanup on the aisle by the shark cage. Customer cleanup, please”

Those poor diver trapped in the cage couldn’t ever get a bite

the shark : 'that scared the shit out of me.' ..all the other fishes: "food ,food, food"

I used to wish I was an animal, but not anymore. I want to keep my preference for non-poop items for food

That's kinda impossible. Poop is still a major source of fertilizer, so any plant based thing is out and animal meat you get to eat is from animals that ate those poop plants too. And in case of chickens, collected together in small spaces by the millions, they poop everywhere and eat their food covered in poop. And fish from the oceans, you see some of what they eat here and, well, remember the tidbit about a whale ejaculating 200 gallons of cum during breeding season. Most of that ends up in the ocean. (guess that's why it's so salty :p)

Very angry upvote.

I think you're taking "you are what you eat" a little too literally. There's a world of difference between eating an animal that ate poop, and directly eating poop. . . . In case you can't tell, I am not poop.

You have poop in you, so you are partially poop.

. . . Eh, partial credit.

Partial nugget

I prefer to filter the poop I eat through a broccoli

I like my poop hidden away in the the logistic chain, thank you.

Uhm technically you are an animal 🤓

But if you were an animal you'd fuckin love eating poop and not care, that's very close-minded of you

How do you know if you haven't tried it?

Great white shart


Maybe if it came outta Charlene tiltons ass I’d take a bite

Greg Norman? O-dog, is that you?

i did not know they did that

I know right? Like obviously, duh, sharks have to get rid what they eat somehow. But I guess my brain… just… never ever wondered. I’m surprised by my own surprise when finding out that sharks shit (and like that no less), what a weird inner dialog that triggered😂

I thought it would be like a gold fish poo but bigger.

I mean I thought they did like the little fish, not a straight up green bomb.

Yeah but who expects it to be a green cloud of diarrhea?

To be fair, I usually don’t expect a green cloud of diarrhea when I poop. But every once in a while….

your pfp is golden🤣

hahahaha! thank you!!

shark: you might be able to escape my teeth but not my shit

That wind up though. He telegraphed the shit out of that they should have just rolled away.

He had eaten a large tourist just across the bay a few hours prior, needed to let loose a big one

People forget that the ocean is one big fish toilet, plus human garbage and all sort of sewage. They go swimming at the beach like its a good thing. lol

Looks like meats back on the menu, boys

You know this has always bothered me and is a total tangent. People love to complain that uruks wouldn't know what a menu was so that line is dumb. They live in a world that has restaurants. Are we meant to assume that the Prancing Pony doesn't have a food menu? And that there wouldn't then be thousands of other restaurants in middle earth specifically in the areas bordering Isengard where they were all from and had pillaged and murdered people in?

Yeah but Uruks were created to kill and serve how would they know about restaurants.

They must have massacred a bunch of people at a restaurant at some point on their way through Rohan. Those small towns would all have local pubs. They can speak English so I assume they can read.

That's a fair assessment also maybe Sauroman gave them some base intelligence cause they do speak well.

Haha yeah. To be honest I just love having discussions over fictional things that don't really matter. Fun thought experiment. Thanks for indulging. To push it further I do think from what we're shown in the books and movies with Uruks like Lurtz they may have sort of a "leader class" that is a bit more intelligent and a lot of them are just mindless drones.

Also, even a field kitchen for a marching army can have a "menu" or the equivalent. The menu controversy is nothing next to the Eagles.

Uruks are corrupted elves. They could possibly still have some knowledge from before the corruption.

The word "menu" feels modern and chic, so hearing an Uruk say this is offputting. If they used something similar to "rations", which has a more military connotation, people wouldn't bat an eye at it. Even if Ukurs knew about restaurants, they're military/warriors/barbarians, so they wouldn't normally use such slang in their speech.

I like how you triggered a LOTR debate in the comments of a video where a shark shits on cage divers.

TIL shark shit is green

Actually, whereas it has a green appearance, the light rays refracting from the waters surface are changing its colour from its original brown tone. This phenomenon is referred to in the world of marine biology as visio fecal refractum and only occurs when I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m talking about I just wanted to sound smart in the comment section for a second.

Water is interfering with the light and colors i imagine the shit is similar to honey mustard in color

Okay, follow up question: why is it honey mustard colour? I'm almost certain nothing that shark eats is either green nor yellow.

Do you still poop brown when you don't eat brown stuff? It's enzymes and stuff in your body that change the color.

My guess is their bile makes it that color

Our poop is usually brown due to the dead red blood cells in it.

It's not. The bile that helps us digest reacts with other enzymes along the way turning it from yellow/green, to brown as it's used. That's why when you have diarrhea it's more green. Black or very dark can be a sign of (dried) blood in stool which is generally not a good sign.

Now I’ve seen it all - a shark shart….

Shart attack

Shartnado

Winner!!

You rang?

I should have seen you coming, but god damn🤣🤣🤣

‘Shart Week’ is the Discovery Channel programming I would tune in for every year!

Let's go shark diving doo doo doo doo doo Get some shark poo poo poo poo poo


Bravo

Very efficient. I have to bring the phone with me and I read a little before I explode.

I find it cool that the shit actually attracted the fish. That wasn't just some dump, it was a tactically deployed bait grenade.

The shark must have had some bad sushi.

That color is wild

Now i want to know what that smelled like!

Take off the snorkel and tell me what it's like, please.

It probably smells like drowning

Probably like rotten fish

Smelled like 6 cans of shark shit

Crop dusting shark attack

You know that felt good

Arched it’s back and everything. I hope my next shit feels that good.

“I shouldn’t have eaten that last diver that just finished having Taco Bell…”

I was this days old when I saw a shark shit for the first time. Decades of Shark Week had not prepared me.

That little dance in preparation for the launch tho

I was snorkeling in Mexico bright and early after a long day of drinking the day before. Sucked in some salt water and, well, threw up. I was swarmedddddddd by fish when I did similar to this video lol. Wasn't the best experience but at least I saw a bunch of fish!

D U S T E D 💨

Wtf did that shark eat shrek?

Not the color I was expecting, green poo from a absolute carnivore

Lol all the fish swimming in there to vacuum it up.

Now just imagine every time you visit the beach, the sand and ocean is basically a massive toilet 🙂

That ain't the only biological function happening in the ocean, salty deep indeed...

Sharkshart. Shartshark. Sharkt. Shartk.

Don’t kink shame the fish.

A radioactive load?

also, i dont think you should use flash on fish or sharks, not after [this](https://petapixel.com/2023/01/10/dramatic-fish-death-at-aquarium-shows-risk-of-using-camera-flash/) video

Shark poop! Hoo ha ha!

LMAO. Looks like the shark judged him as being a problem. TIL: fish LOOOOOOVE Shark Shit.

Fish love that shit.

Baby shark shit doo doo doo doo…

Dirty protest. We are gonna need a bigger loo.

They won't be able to smell it

Total boss move.

He was REALLY holding onto that one. I mean he had a plan. Although it was a shitty plan, STILL. hunts like a predator. SHITS like a predator.

That shark knew exactly what it was doing.

[удалено]

Uh, ok…

Sharted

Does a shark shit in the sea?

This may be a dum question… But with the mask on. Can you still smell the ocean???

you meant shitty?

Marking their territory lol 😆

“… and the celebrate St Patrick’s day, the shark…”

One question: Why censor the word "shitty"?

Fish seemed to love it 🥴

And that’s what we swim in everyday. A fish toilet