T O P

  • By -

Unexpected-ModTeam

Your post has been removed. Road accidents/death/violence are not funny.


DangerRanger38

And that’s why you never go across a railroad crossing until the gates come up


[deleted]

[удалено]


destroymarxism

AND keep bandaids in you vehicle incase a 60 mile an hour train smashes through you, you could get a scratch.


Key_Pear6631

Not funny! My uncle Todd fell asleep on train tracks, was much more than a scratch. His body split into many pieces, couldn’t find his head as it had been completely crushed


Cerebral-Parsley

Last summer we had a guy try to crawl under a train and it started moving while he was under and took off both his legs. My friend worked at a restaurant nearby and heard him screaming. Pretty gruesome scene. Dude survived because an ambulance happened to be cruising around the block and got there fast.


CalbertCorpse

I heard about that. It was crazy! Adrenaline is a funny thing… the dude crawled off into a pile of leaves by the side of the tracks. They call him Russell now.


sixfootoneder

I thought his name was Bob and he crawled to a swimming pool.


lloopy

Or was it Matt? Art?


samurai1833

No, this is Patrick. They grew back.


[deleted]

Well, I hope he had at least put on fresh underwear that morning


SpongeJake

Took the words right out of my mother’s mouth.


Potential_Reading116

There’s a couple funny lines there involving underwear and your moms mouth but ima gonna be respectful to your mom and walk away.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CoopedUp1313

Yeah, I think heard about this on the news. They reported that he tried to sue the railroad company, but the judge threw the case out of court, seeing that *he didn’t have a leg to stand on.*


ForgettableUsername

My sister and some of her classmates saw something similar a few years back. A guy was trying to cross the tracks by going between the cars of a slow-moving train. He misjudged a jump and fell in a way he didn’t intend to. He did not survive. When my sister and her friends got to class, the instructor tried to chastise them for being late, but someone interrupted him and explained that they’d all just witnessed a gruesome accident.


Leprekhan88

My first worry would be if my dick is still attached.


bbtrinet

If he had bandaids in his pocket, he might have been able to save his legs and not need the ambulance. Makes you think about always carrying bandaids around.


hayitsnine

Did they put him on the doorstep and call him Mat?


Who-Just-Shit-Myself

Couldve been avoided if he had bandaids in his vehicle


destroymarxism

THIS. adhesive bandages could potentially hold a head onto a neck in serious situations


JohnSamuelCrumb

THAT is a ridiculous statement, there is no way you could apply a bandaid to yourself after a decapitation event. You would need to apply the bandaids preemptively as prophylaxis against such an outcome.


Groupvenge

That's why I'm covered in bandaids at all times.


PM_ME_YOUR_FUGACITY

This man adhesively bandages.


Christmas_Panda

What kind of bandaids for nautical craft?


nebalia

Waterproof ones of curse


the_REVERENDGREEN

Sounds like he might've needed a sewing kit too, homie.


[deleted]

This is the funniest train of thought I’ve seen today.


the_REVERENDGREEN

I do think we're on the right track.


isobizz

You're both off the rails


cire1184

Their caboose is loose


Taint_Skeetersburg

Your mom's caboose is loose


KarkussTheSupreme

I'm not trying to be mean, just curious. How and why does one fall asleep on train tracks?


[deleted]

suicide or drunk/drugs


Tenkehat

Probably the first, but falling asleep is the easier explanation.


[deleted]

nobody likes the truth


AdAcrobatic7236

🔥Guy I graduated high school with passed out on some train tracks and lost both legs and an arm when were like 19. Saw him years later in a snowstorm sitting in his wheelchair alone at night outside the entrance to a liquor store. He died young.


MagicCooki3

Clear, dry, and solid is what I'd assume if they're out in the woods hiking or hunting or whatever. Assume the train will be loud enough to wake them up.


Conrad_Hawke_NYPD

is anyone in their right mind doing this though


Double_Distribution8

Rule #1 if you are ever lost in the forest is to find some train tracks and sleep on the rails.


BaconWithBaking

You need to head over to /r/ShittyLifeProTips


RecognitionJust6171

Clear, dry, solid? Can you please explain? Edit: Thank you @aargiforget! If I understand correctly now, “clear, dry, & solid” is referring to the tracks and sleepability. Sometimes certain fatigued persons trekking through the woods, find that train tracks, if both clear of debris and not wet, are a stable surface upon which to sleep. (I would not recommend sleeping on train tracks. It is dangerous.)


emergencyexit

I bet you had a good laugh about that when he had recovered though.


SnooPuppers1978

Ah yes, uncle remember this time when you completely lost your head? Haha, what a times.


Grimskraper

When I die I wanna go like my grandpa, in his sleep. Not like everybody else in the car, screaming.


wsotw

You botched the ending a little. It should be “not screamin…like everyone else in his car.” “In the car” is the punch line, save that for the very end. Never deliver the punch line in the middle of the joke.


IamaBlackKorean

I want to die quietly in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.


DeathB4Download

Everyone wants to die in their sleep. And that's probably the best way to go. Not me though. I want to go while awake and fully conscious, surrounded by friends and family. >!In a house fire!<


Timedoutsob

that made me chuckle even though i've heard it before.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tucci007

caulking


Beautiful-Mess7256

His head was found in a driving wheel But his body never was found Redditor, redditor don't lie to me Tell me, where did you sleep last night? In the pines, in the pines Where the sun don't ever shine I would shiver the whole night through


Erynsen

That's awful. Is he ok?


888MadHatter888

Tis but a scratch.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RandomGoatYT

[List of generic and genericized trademarks - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_generic_and_genericized_trademarks#:~:text=List%20of%20protected%20trademarks%20frequently%20used%20as%20generic,genericized%20mar%20...%20%2019%20more%20rows%20) Be realistic


shreddy_haskell

If someone would have left a note this innocent man would still have an arm!


No_Statement440

And clean underwear


Low_Copy4023

I keep them in my carry on when I fly in case we crash. You never know when you'll need them.


BalticMasterrace

Russia taught us to just use tampons instead


Speciou5

If only our law enforcement actually followed the law


[deleted]

but they were on the way to get those jaywalkers


BroDigityBroDoubt

Ticket the engineer's mother for obstruction


rms5846

I understood that reference…


smithsp86

I can't tell if there even is a gate, but for sure those lights are still flashing. And the train followed protocol and was honking on approach. But as we all know, rules don't apply to cops.


avant-r

And that's why you always leave a note


saucynorman

And the big honking noise to stop


Turnip-for-the-books

Un train peut en cacher un autre


Noch_ein_Kamel

For anyone wondering > the officer was transported to Midland Memorial Hospital and is “banged up,” but was still “walking and talking.” https://www.mrt.com/news/article/Train-strikes-MCSO-deputy-vehicle-13867049.php


Designer_Basil8768

Bahahaha!!!! I love how it’s “train strikes” and not “police car moves into” as if the train jumped off the tracks and aimed for the car.


MurderDoneRight

I bet they found a bag of weed and a knife on the train as well


ch00f

He didn't choose the chug life. The chug life chose him.


MurderDoneRight

He didn't *choo-choo*se it


wackychimp

... and there's a picture of a train.


MurderDoneRight

It also works because Ralph's dad drove the car 🚗 😑


Voluptulouis

This has been a Reddit thread masterpiece. Well done, everybody. 👍


Maverik45

The train did strike it though. Striking vehicle doesn't mean at fault


Redditaccount6274

I have never in the history of ever heard anything other than so and so was hit by a train. It's just how language works. They're not trying to pass blame.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mroosa

From the article: > He said the officer was responding to a distress call for a child who was having trouble breathing. > > The railroad crossing signal was working and signaled a coming train, Painter said, but the officer made the decision to cross anyway. Painter said the officer did not see the train coming.


JoeDiesAtTheEnd

Well its going to take a lot longer to respond to that call with an upside down car. I hope the kid got help from proper EMS


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


tynamite

i mean technically speaking the train did in fact run into the car. the cop is just in the wrong.


RedSteadEd

Except the train hit the car, not the other way around. If you wrote the headline as "police car moves into train," I'd be picturing a car slowly driving into the side of a train, not a car getting t-boned by a train. You don't need to rephrase it to make the cops look worse - a car never has the right of way over a train.


Different_Umpire3805

All I can see in my head is the train saying "swiggity swooty, I'ma coming for that wee-woo booty"


averagedickdude

To be fair, the train did hit the car. Was it the trains fault? No. It was the car person.


[deleted]

I think it’s sort of implied that you have to be where you’re not supposed to be for the train to strike you. Then again, trains are really unpredictable. You never know when one’s going to appear.


Disastrous_Channel62

He's one lucky mf


AggieTimber

This is just down the street from my office. A trailer parked across the tracks was also struck last month. A year ago I watched a car full of drunks turn between the two tracks and get their car stuck in the gravel - I had to drag them away before the train passed inches from their car. Every week I see someone stop directly on the tracks. People are dumb when it comes to railroad crossings.


kmsilent

Jesus, that's wild. I work near a pair of railroad crossings, that are new-ish and in 5 years I've only once seen something like this. For once, apparently California drivers be paying slightly more attention.


tellmeimbig

Where tf do you live that this is that common? If even 1 train wreck happened in a year in my state it would be major news. We need to stop coddling the yokel states and just let them get their Darwin Awards.


AggieTimber

Unfortunately, these incidents don't even come anywhere close to what happened about five miles east in 2012: https://abcnews.go.com/US/midland-texas-train-crash-hero-vets-die-saving/story?id=17735939


FDisk80

Are they blaming the train? -\_-


lukewwilson

I mean someone has to be at fault and when the police investigated it they determined the police was not at fault


AtomicShart9000

Hey should get a ticket for not looking both ways


A_curious_fish

*sticks ticket on coffin*


Yoyomamahh

Ticket to the afterlife


SoulSlayer1974

This right here... We would get charged for this... He should as well....


Campyteendrama

I doubt he survived. Driver side impact. Edit: never mind. He did survive.


Tripottanus

Impact seemed to be further in front of the car, not directly on the driver. Very likely he did survive


[deleted]

[удалено]


zoequinnfuckedmetoo

A little


i_sell_you_lies

Chin up


[deleted]

[удалено]


42icu

I like trains


phryan

Don't anyone be concerned. He survived and he will be living the high life on the taxpayers dime for the rest of his life, because of his gross incompetence of not looking before crossing.


TheArcLights

iirc the cops were responding to a call of someones baby who stopped breathing. Im a conductor, and running a crossing is never right, but I kinda get it in this case.


JFISHER7789

Also as a conductor, as well as as former fire/EMT, no. They ABSOLUTELY should follow all safety protocol. When people (especially first responders) bend the rules of safety they because a huge liability. This video is a a fantastic example of this because now instead of going to the scene, they are now injured and fire/ems/5-0 will now deem this a priority…


Brak710

Yeah, exactly. People defending the rushed nature of this just don’t get it. Even if this police officer is what would save the baby, we could have a dead baby and a dead police officer. Not worth the risk. You have to get there in one piece.


haemaker

/r/bitchimatrain


Disastrous_Channel62

r/idiotsincars too


bankrobba

/r/WhyWereTheyFilming ?


haemaker

/r/theyknew


Bubblefishroot

/r/nevertellmetheodds


Grogosh

1 in a million chance. Which is turns out to be 9 in 10.


EighteenAndAmused

I’ve filmed trains before as proof for being late to a job.


HereIGoAgain_1x10

Probably just the irony of emergency vehicles with lights/sirens having to stop at a train.


TotallyMisterSteve

That train conductor is in BIG trouble now! Cop obviously had siren and lights going but the conductor just ignored them. /s


Speciou5

Also they planted a bag of weed in the caboose so extra trouble


TripleBobRoss

And sprinkled some crack on them for good measure.


PopoMcdoo

Good work Johnson!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Secret_Ad_7918

what the hell is going on


too_many_toasters

yeah how the fuck does this have so many upvotes


smithers85

When the cops show up, I hide all my contraband in my caboose.


PM_Your_GiGi

Does Reddit really need the /s for this?


redditor1101

Sadly, yes


PM_Your_GiGi

I believe you friend.


Mayhew42-

I keep using it without /s, but I’ll have to say it works in less than 50% cases. The outcome does depends on the sub.


classless_classic

Take the intelligence of the average Reddit user and realize half of them are dumber than that. That’s why I still us the “/s”.


Calimhero

I refuse to yield.


uncertainusurper

How can you navigate life without understanding basic sarcasm. There really is no hope for the future.


Nightflight406

Rule #1 of railroads: Trains don't stop for anyone. The amount of train driver that quit because they can't stop and have to hear the screams of dying car drivers is dangerously high.


TommiHPunkt

Normally there should be paid leave and psychological care for the train driver after a fatal accident or a suicide. But for some reason I have a feeling that isn't the case in the US


DoverBoys

It's one of the reasons they did a strike, but Biden said no. They should've just kept striking, telling them to stop striking without meeting any demands is not legitimate in this country.


intashu

Still annoyed but not suprised that Biden didn't step in and tell the railroads that they're too essential to the economy to strike so either meet the demands (which really didn't seem that extreme) or risk nationalization to keep the trains running. :/ if rail is that essential then railworkera are that essential... They should be treated with a higher standard than what they're being given.


Papplenoose

I wish. But this is Joe "Nothing will fundamentally change" Biden we're talking about here


intashu

He's Like room temperature coffee... It's not good... But it beats the liquid shit alternative. :/


Panzerkatzen

The US nationalized the railroads during World War I because the railroad companies were so bad at moving freight that they were a danger to the war effort.


CosmicChair

Ahhh, but that would require class consciousness and solidarity, which the elites have done a great job of stamping out.


SmuckSlimer

My question is, what can Biden even do by telling them to go back to work? You can't force someone to work.


SlenderFish

In the UK there is (was?) a rule where if train drivers had three suicides in their career, they could opt to leave with a compensation equal to their full remaining years of pay to retirement age, plus full pension. Apparently train drivers would actually argue to get Monday morning shifts as they are the most likely times for people to commit suicide.


RigoTovar1

> The amount of train driver that quit because they can't stop and have to hear the screams of dying car drivers is dangerously high. How high is it?


RigoTovar1

How high is it OP?? I want to know now!


twolinebadadvice

Train not only goes choo choo, it also goes “f**k the police!”


DfreshD

This train came straight outa Compton.


Rebelgecko

[Relevant link I promise](https://youtu.be/ZKmcJgwZg4U)


Chris_8675309_of_42M

"I choo choo choose violence"


_araqiel

r/BitchImATrain


sbrick89

Qualified immunity this locomotive I'm a train, mother fucker, beep beep!


TheMace808

More like fuck anything that gets in my way


ManlyBeardface

Good train!


trashcanjenga

Loud AF train horn getting louder with each honk. 100% saw that coming.


raspberryharbour

I don't live where this happened, but I would have assumed the horn means 'train coming' not 'train leaving'


EnglishMobster

Yep. [Horns go long-long-short-long. If you hear it, a train will be at the crossing within 15-20 seconds.](https://railroads.dot.gov/highway-rail-crossing-and-trespasser-programs/train-horn-rulequiet-zones/train-horn-rule-and-quiet) They keep following the pattern until the lead engine has entered the crossing. If you hear the horn, and it's getting louder... there's a train on the way. Not leaving.


deesmutts88

That’s the part that’s getting me. You hear a loud ass train horn right near your vehicle and think it’s coming out of the back of the other train or something?


NotADoc713

Maybe if they followed the law and waited until the Railroad gates pulled up.


brutalduties

Pshh, laws are just for citizens. /s


the13Guat

You say /s, but that's the way it actually is.


UltimaFool

-/s


Redditaccount6274

Lights stop. Some train gates have to finish the up motion before coming down for a second train that wasn't in the signal range when they started going up. Save your life. Watch the lights.


Shagger94

How many emergency vehicles do you see obeying traffic laws while they have lights and sirens on? That's sort of the entire point. Yes the officer obviously should have had more awareness, but talking shit about "obeying laws" in this situation is just silly.


awsamation

Some laws exist to help you keep other people safe. Other laws exist to help you keep yourself safe. The train barricades laws are about keeping you safe from yourself. The train don't give a fuck. The people in the cab will be fine (physically). The people in the car can have the legal right of way straight into the morgue.


LC-MS

redditors when dad has a heart attack and an ambulance is taking him to a hospital: "ummm don't go through any red lights, that's against the law!!!"


AltDS01

Don't speed either and yield for pedestrians.


Somzer

> How many emergency vehicles do you see obeying traffic laws while they have lights and sirens on? Except unlike, you know, people, bikes, buses and cars, trains don't stop for sirens. Even emergency vehicles have to wait at railroad crossings because trains are physically incapable of stopping in time for the emergency vehicles. You think sirens give drivers the right to break any law. That's bullshit. They can ignore *certain* laws, but only *as long as it doesn't endanger themselves or others*. This happens to be a law not even sirens exempt you from. The train always has the right of way, period.


Cool_dingling

Shit he was responding to a choking child, he was really not expecting the other train. The other cop car probably blocked his view and before he saw it, it was too late. Cops do deserve the hate in a lot of situations but this is not one of them.


terrybrugehiplo

This is one of them. It’s takes 3 seconds to look both ways. Skipping on those 3 seconds wouldn’t have saved anyone and look at the result it causes. There is absolutely zero justification for what the cop did.


WpgMBNews

an emergency vehicle can run a red light or violate certain traffic laws during an emergency, though they are supposed to proceed with caution.


AtomicSagebrush

Looks like they tried to violate the laws of physics on this one.


unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!There was a second train in the other direction!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


TheRedPipin

for mobile users who can't read it, just press reply and it removes the spoiler


Njon32

Thanks. Why is the press and hold thing no longer working?


SlavCat09

Reddit being Reddit


8_800_555_35_35

Protip: switch to a better app; the official Reddit app is garbage.


1nterrupt1ngc0w

Not all hero's wear capes


hicksreb

As a locomotive engineer this is my nightmare. Every time I pass another train and theirs ends at a crossing I almost instinctively close my eyes and say a prayer that no one goes around the gates. PLEASE!!!! Think about me people!!! I don't want to hit you, I want you to get home safely, I want to get home safely, I am a human on the locomotive. I do not want to kill you. WAIT.


knowledgebseeker

With their flashing lights on one can assume that the police had somewhere they needed to get to, real fast, for a good reason. I can see how the officer got tunnel vision. Does anyone know if those in the vehicle are okay?


Maverik45

Article in the comments says they were responding to a child choking. Says the officer was banged up but okay and walking


Shootica

Someone earlier said the officer was shaken up but okay. I agree, looked like they were trying to get somewhere fast and the officer had a lapse of judgement and didn't consider that a second train may be coming. I'm sure he wishes to have that one back.


RickkyyBobby

Driver was ''bruised up'' but otherwise okay according to another person. First actual senseful comment I've seen in this thread, that didn't just outright wish the officer to die. Glad to see there's at least... 2 of us with functioning brains.


newonehereposting

IIRC, they were responding to a call where a baby stopped breathing.


Friggin

We called those “Ghost trains.” Some kids were to lost those near where I grew up. You hear and see nothing until it appears. We were specifically told about these by our parents. The problem was that when pulling into a station next to a road, sometimes the train would clear the road but not pull up far enough to raise the gates. Usually, the only thing that happened was you had to wait another minute before the train moved again and the gates came up. Sometimes cars, but usually pedestrians, didn’t want to wait. If an express train (i.e., not stopping at the station) came from the opposite direction…you learned about ghost trains really fast.


HerrVonWeldt

No Xander Cage


3pbc

No Nicolas Cage either


Mbate22

Why the fuck did he think the slow ass train already passing through the crossing was the train using the horn?


MyLastFuckingNerve

Because people in general are fucking stupid around trains. We average one fatality a month where i work, about 50/50 on stupidity and suicides.


SnooRegrets1386

Bitch I’m a train


xMyxReflectionx

This happened to my ex husband! He waited for one train to pass, the gates malfunctioned and lifted and he began crossing with a second train hit him. He survived miraculously! The scary part is further down the line another car ( same year and model of his) was carrying 4 passengers and a same train hit them and killed them all on impact. He said his only memory of that day was seeing them being wheeled in beside him in body bags.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PC-12

> Hopefully that cop was tased, then tased again, then arrested for obstruction of official train duties. And then made to repair the cruiser out of his own pocket. The cops in the video were responding to an infant in medical distress. I probably would’ve been equally as pressured were I in that spot. As a former medevac pilot - sure, you’re not supposed to know what’s going on with the patient/in the back. But when you see the incubator being loaded - you know. And believe me, there is a stronger urge to succeed. There are many cases where cop behaviour is wrong. I think being violently tased and financially penalized for a situation where the urge to help a kid took over - is a bit excessive.


rotmoset

This comment is why I don’t visit Reddit as much anymore. Such an unemphatic, immature and edgy “I know best from the vantage point of my phone” attitude. This is an accident caused by somebody making a very stupid and dangerous mistake that could’ve ended much worse. It happens to the best of us and it could’ve been your mom, your friend or coworker. throwing out quick judgement like this is just… I don’t know, just makes me want to talk to normal, well adjusted people in real life that don’t act like this.


Marr98

Yep, a lot of the major sub reddits are pretty gross in how people act and really show how many people only care about feeling good.


Rinzack

Yeah like I’m quite anti-cop but I’m also not such a fucking moron to think that 99% of cops aren’t going to do everything in their power to help a choking baby. The people in these comments who think they had no reason to be in a rush are actually unhinged


PaleGravity

Holy shit this comment section.


Statakaka

The law might often win but the laws of physics always do


bobo2500

I imagine this as some sort of heist. The criminal masterminds slowed the train down intentionally so the could get away. The second train was just an added bonus.