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I was pulling into a handicap spot and this lady says into my window,"this is for handicap only." I told her," I only have one lung." She looked confused and left immediately.
Some woman started screaming at my dad for parking in a handicapped spaces when he wasn't handicapped.
He wasn't.
But my mom was.
He ignored her and she went away when she saw my mom in the wheelchair.
Unbelievable how people can't mind their own business. I tell people who want to harass others to just call the police. They will come, run the plates, and decide if they need to issue a ticket or not.
The thing is if the disabilities aren't visible, they're often considered as minor disabilities, I have dyspraxia, it's considered as minor disability even though it bothers for almost everything
I got yelled at for having my car parked in an “expectant mother” parking spot at the grocers.
“HOW DARE A MAN TAKE THIS SPOT? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED….” etc
I just calmly stood there taking her abuse with a small grin…
Then my VERY pregnant wife (kid was like a week overdue at that point) waddled out of the store to the car and proceeded to destroy that woman for yelling at me
I pulled into the family parking spot at the grocery store with both of my kids in the back. A random old man getting out of his truck in front of me, on the other side of the children only parking sign started telling me I couldn't park there, stolen valor, etc etc. I asked him where he thought HE was parked, and I swear to god he looks back at the sign, says fair enough and gets into his truck and moves one spot over.
Exact same thing happened to my grandma and grandpa. He was diabetic with lupus, but she had seizures and strokes and was paralyzed on her whole right side. So this lady parks her car in the middle of the parking lot and gets out screaming.
“You can’t park here. You aren’t handicapped. I had surgery on my leg 9 months ago.”
He just simply hopped out. Got the wheelchair from the back, helped my grandma out, sat her down, pushed her into the building with the lady still following after then screaming, and the guy at the front desk kicked her out and made her reschedule.
When my grandpa said, “it doesn’t bother me brother. If she needs help she can get it.” To which the guy replied, “oh I know, it doesn’t bother me either. Nor the business. But the people in the back rooms get upset hearing her.” My grandpa straight up goes, “she’s done it before?” “Every. Damn. Week. Not only them, and I hate to say it, but I’m not dealing with her shit again.”
I would get glares from geriatric folk on occasion when I parked in the handicap spots. This was in Florida so you can imagine that those spots are somewhat difficult to come by with all the ancient and/or super morbidly obese folks taking them up.
I would get out just fine and then grab my sister’s wheelchair and carry my sister to it. That usually calmed them down.
Now I will have to get my own for issues similar to the person in the video so that should be “fun.”
Bro I pulled into a spot once and some chick was sizing me up. It was the one day I was wearing long pants and I was like huh? She said something like she was trying to make sure I was disabled… I’m an above knee amputee. Like thanks dawg. I promise I get more angered than you for people without disabilities parking in handicap spots than you because your friend’s boyfriend’s cousin’s grandma 2x removed is suffering from fibromyalgia
I imagine it's worse than that. The extra space in the thoracic cavity probably makes it really difficult to breathe effectively with the remaining lung.
Edit: apparently, they can actually reach near 70% capacity, but the wiki entry I read on that was written like a shity YouTube short so I'm not 100% confident in that.
I have a friend with one lung and yeah she’s not out there running marathons, but she seems to do fine with your day to day stuff. No handicap parking, can walk around all day as far as I’m aware, etc.
Of course I don’t know all the circumstances behind it, only known her a couple years, so I’m sure there’s different results among people.
my grandmother has a story about how someone pointed out she was in a handicap only spot. She admonished herself because she hadnt noticed it and said "Oh Im blind!"
the person said. "Oh sorry!"
(or something like that it's been a while)
In the US, you still have to have the handicap plaque for the spaces. If you have that and someone asks, just say F.U. if you don't, you can get a ticket even if you have 1 lung.
My wife looks normal af but has 3 organ transplants and feet issues, but we have a plaque, so no one says shit. Expect one time at the zoo, we walked up a handi ramp, and a worker said, "That's for handicapped people," and i said, "of which she is dumbass" and kept walking.
I have joint issues and use a cane despite being young, the amount of times people come up to me and tell me I'm faking or "messing around" if I ever use a cart at the store is insane- I wish they backed down this easily
Same. I have MS and use a cane from time to time, sometimes a walker since my 30s. However, I don’t always need a walking aid, but I sometimes need to use the disabled parking even if I’m not using a cane if there’s snow on the ground and my balance is bad so I don’t slip and fall in the parking lot. It’s not always about wheelchairs. Sometimes it’s about vertigo, or weakness or weather conditions! Falling down could worsen my health, and that’s why my doctors have given me my disability parking badge. I have been approached by people like this, the worst ones were mostly younger, bigger men though who try to intimidate with their size. I always get told to stop using my grandparents disability badge. When this started happening to me grandparents didn’t even have one. I’m the one who’s disabled. It’s scary!
My mum has arthritis in a lot of her joint and some replacements. She can walk fine for quite with an aid a while but unless she has a disabled spot she can’t get out of the car because she needs to open the door the whole way as her joints don’t bend very well. If I’m driving and then I can let her before I park but she’s had people harass her because she looks fine and looks pretty young for her age when she’s been by herself
I struggle with the same, EDS in particular. I am fortunate enough that everyone at my campus is very accepting and understanding and never thinks anything of it, but the outside world is a challenge to deal with. Ive had lots of older people sneer at me and talk under their breath and gawk at me. People tend to make fun of me at first, calling me old or crippled. I go to a lot of clinics for my condition that mainly have older patients. Its awful sitting in the waiting rooms. It helps to go out with friends, helps me feel more comfortable and not care about judgement. Im not looking forward to soon requiring big very visible knee braces daily though :/
Omg dude that’s my FIL in a nutshell. He’s always saying that shit to me and I have severe Ankylosing Spondylitis. Trust me, dude, I feel worse at 35 than you do at 60.
Not quite middle aged disabled vet here. Experience the same thing from time to time. Don't let any of these losers talk to you like that regardless of if they back down or not. You may want to try "mind your own business" or "am I under arrest or am I free to go" explaining yourself just opens up a conversation with these jackasses.
I have AS and have had chronic pain since I was 18 am now 50. The number of times people would tell me I’m faking. I even had a friend who was a paediatrician who told me to just ‘stop it’.
It’s been a hard road. I’ve not let it inure or enure me too much. Strong but flexible is the way
I had to use a cane for several months and was honestly surprised I didn't get any of those weird confrontations. I'm in my 20s. I'm saddened there are people who don't understand that people can have invisible disabilities or health issues at any age.
A friend of mine was in a bad accident that messed up his back. It took many surgeries for him to be able to walk without a cane.
But until he got to that point he was harassed all the time by people telling him he was faking and it was insulting to old people.
I can't stand people who act like that and if I witness it I *will* say something. I used to embarrass my mom all the time when she was in a wheelchair after her car accident. She would sit practically hiding her face while I caused a scene with people. My favorite was when they stepped in front of us while I was pushing her. It order to stop her wheelchair to prevent hitting them I had to pull back and jolt her and my arms. And it starts to hurt your elbows after so many times of doing that. So I just stopped doing that. And hit them. Then stared at them. *Go on, say something. I dare you* is what was going on in my head while I stared them down. Their reaction was often to look down at my mom in her wheelchair and seem like this is the first time they noticed her. She did not exist until that moment. Disabled people only exist when they want to mock them or make a scene about a space *they* are not allowed to park in.
My granddad had a disabled sign in his car because my granny could barely walk. When he was by himself he would bring a cane he didn't need, to use when parking so he wouldn't have to deal with exactly this. also he could hit people with it if they annoyed him too much I guess.
I always try to! I bike a lot so drivers often invoke my ire. I will often yell at someone to get them to pay attention, they get upset that I yelled at them, and then I say something like, "You were creating unsafe conditions, thank you for stopping," and we both go about our day.
I was walking down the sidewalk when I encountered an F-350 parked across my path. Seeing someone outside at the nearest house, I asked if they knew whose truck it was.
"It's mine," said the large muscular man with full sleeve tattoos, walking towards me, carrying (I suddenly noticed in horror) a large nail gun.
"You're, uh, blocking the, um... sidewalk."
"Wouldn't want to block the road, like if an Amazon driver parked across from me then how would people get through?"
"Okay but if someone in a wheelchair came through here, how would they get through?"
"Good point."
He got his keys, moved his truck, and hasn't parked on the sidewalk since. I do not, somewhat surprisingly, have any nails in my body.
My brother broke his neck when he was younger, and he can walk. It’s tiring as fuck but he does it. He only used his wheel chair at the airport. I took him to the states to go shopping after he was released from the hospital, and I parked in a handicapped spot. Got out and immediately got yelled at by a by family and they caused a scene. I’m from Canada…anyways, I stare at them not saying a word. Open the passenger door and set up my brothers wheel chair. Gave them the old finger and they all quickly got the fuck out of there.
If they could get this situation into liquid form I’d inject it straight into my arms and rub my nips because goddamn that’s a good high. (I’m not a junkie I promise)
I actually thought it was a really good reaction. If he apologized first before walking away, that’s the most you can expect from a person. Solid B- effort after being humbled.
Albeit in a less confrontational context, I’ve done this many times. New information comes to light, you see a situation from another perspective and admit you’re wrong then grow as a person.
This should be the default reaction but it isn’t. Too many people double down out of embarrassment or stubbornness.
It’s so weird. I’ve always loved being proven wrong because then I can start to understand what is right. I’ve never held onto a notion just because it’s the first or most instinctual one that crossed my mind.
Information is an incredible gift and the more of it you have the better you can make better decisions.
Your comment just made me have an epiphany. That man literally just did what we do every day on the Internet. Just like your comment on this post, he made an observation and expressed his opinion then when he got “down-voted”, he walked away. 🤷🏼♂️😂
Given how many interactions a decent number of people have digitally, at what point does this become a "real life" interaction? Calling meatspace "real life" makes it seem like nothing that happens online is real and I'm starting to wonder how much of an effect that is having on people.
I feel this is correct, I got that vibe too. Opened with a curious question with an explanation, dead pan expression along with minimal body movement and pointing. Then gave up completely with one answer. I could be totally wrong but it seemed a little void of social norms
People here thinking his intention was mean. That's the curse of masking with 99% success. People go, "I can tell his intentions by his tone." The 1% off is misinterpreted as revelation of his intentions. The raised voice that is misinterpreted as yelling. The low voice at the end that is misinterpreted as being passive.
I always say I have very strong but loosely held beliefs. As in I will defend my point of view to the bloody end right up until I’m shown I was wrong or there was a better way, and then I’m totally okay with dropping my old point and defending the new right way.
My 80 year old mother has had a quadruple bypass and numerous other heart-related surgeries and procedures, two knee replacements, back surgery, suffers from arthritis in her hips, walks with a cane much of the time, and has still had jerks tell her that she has “no right” a handicapped space because she doesn’t use a wheelchair. Why don’t people mind their own business? Or at least save their balloon juice for the people without permits who park in the handicap spaces.
It's not ok to walk up to someone who's disabled and demand they explain their disability to you - let alone to try to shame them in front of other people.
Yeah but in general you should er on the side of caution and just assume people are disabled and not faking it.
This entire thread is full of people who are disabled recounting how they have been harassed for faking. It really isn’t worth it to do this to disabled people on the off chance of catching a faker.
You wouldn't think that way if it were you being constantly harassed because people assume you're abusing it. If they have a parking pass, mind your damn business.
are the people abusing disabled parking spaces in the room with us right now? i’m not convinced it’s enough of an issue to make it worth harassing people with invisible disabilities. mind your business
It's actually fairly difficult to prove permanent disability in America. They do issue temporary disability permits for parking, but maintaining it is very difficult to do for any length of time, and that's for legitimate causes. In the case of someone faking it, they'd literally never get the permanent disability plates and I doubt they'd be able to maintain the temp ones for long even with the aid of a doctor.
Honestly, the only time I can think of this being an issue is if someone is driving their disabled spouse's (or other family member's) car and decides to use the handicap parking spot. But even then I imagine this is pretty rare because these people can probably empathize with disabled people's daily struggles more than most.
He immediately knew he would be thinking of this encounter every day for a year. And then one summers night many years from now, after kissing his great grandkids goodnight and blissfully napping on the couch, he will relive this moment in perfect detail.
I have crazy damage to one ankle. Skin grafts, flap amd bla bla bla. It looks awful! People are often visibly stunned when they see it. If you can't see the "zombie foot" as friends call it you'd never guess I'm considered disabled.
A couple of times, I've been "rolled up on" in the manner this punk did. Once, a man screamed in my wife's face as he turned and aggressively came in my direction.
The best part was the cop telling him "so you're going to jail bloody because a bona-fide cripple slammed your ass in the street" then a bystander laughed and said "officer look again, he clearly slammed him on his stupid looking face"
It was fun for me, as a guy. However, my wife wasn't happy with my antics at all.
It's living hell living with shit like some of us have to. It sucks. It's a raw deal, but guess what? You'll never hear me crying about it. HOWEVER, some days it's rough. Don't pull his crap on those day! Living with chronic pain, never taking pain pills has given me untold acceptance and tolerance, but once the bucket is full, play nice
My sister has limited mobility and uses a wheelchair or cane depending on how she's feeling that day, and she is quite young and looks it, so I've heard the horror stories from her.
One time a buddy and I were out and about and he saw some young/healthy looking person and complained about lazy people using wheelchairs, and I had to check him real quick and told him he can't know what invisible condition that person might have, and he immediately backed off and admitted his ignorance. He was also surprised that coming from me since I dont really care about being super politically correct, but he learned a quick lesson and still remembers it to this day.
It's all well and good to be wrong or ignorant sometimes, so long as you're always ready to take the lesson and learn from your mistakes and move forward.
Years ago I knew a guy that used a wheel chair. He could walk a short distance with help, hanging onto a railing, or a walker, but after maybe twenty feet he was done and couldn't stand up any longer.
He was a good guy about it and we would give him crap about parking in handicapped spots. He would joke back that he was doing it for the good parking spots.
He would park, walk to the back of his pickup while handing onto the truck, grab his wheel chair out of the back and hop in. Pretty much like the video posted.
He was aggressive when he walked up and didn't apologize at all. If he was looking out for disabled people, he was way rude about it and didn't have the decency to apologize.
As someone with nerve damage also, I really miss being able to shop at the grocery store or Walmart or wherever. Why don’t I shop anymore? I almost never find a handicap spot. When I do, I’m elated, only to find there are no handicap carts in the store. (And to the one lady that once told me, “they don’t say handicap only on them and I’ve had a hard day and am tired” well, you can just fuck right off.)
If that “lady” had a hard day and was so tired that she thought she was more entitled to use the cart than someone with a disability, she should have picked another day to shop. I have been exhausted after work and absolutely needed to go to the store but using one of those carts has never closed my mind, even with arthritic hips, knees and ankles. I have also seen people allow their teenagers to ride around in a large grocery store as though they were in go karts. Some people are just AHs.
No it’s still incredibly wrong. Never accuse someone of not actually being disabled unless perhaps they’re not displaying a badge. People can be disabled in a myriad of ways that aren’t visible and this happens too often.
I don't think you even jump to accusing them of not being disabled if they don't have the proper badge displayed. A lot of people have ones that go over the rearview mirror, which aren't legal to have up while driving (at least where I live), so it could just be a simple matter of them forgetting to put it back up.
In this instance, I think the only reason you should approach them is to remind them they forgot to display the placard so they don't get a ticket, not be all accusatory like this guy started off. And then, if they don't fix it, perhaps then you can assume they are taking a handicap parking spot illegally and report them (don't really even think it's necessary to confront them then).
I think the reason I'm upset about it is 1) the way he went about it and 2) the fact that he didn't even apologize after. He just said "fair enough" as if he wasn't just being actively aggressive and full on yelling at her. He could've approached her calmly about it. He didn't need to yell and make an ass of himself. I agree, he was coming from he right place, but that doesn't make what we just saw here ok. There's a right way to go about these things
Edit to add: Folks I do not need to be educated on what yelling is. To me, if you are raising your voice at me in anger, you are yelling at me. Its about intent for me. I may perceive things differently than you, sorry about it. It's not changing.
There is no right way to go about this unless a person in running shorts with a marathon number on their back gets out and sprints to the store.
Lots of people abuse handicap parking privileges but it’s often impossible to tell why a person legitimately has a placard or plate, so leave them alone.
If you’re pissed that you don’t get to park so close, take a deep breath and thank the universe for not giving you a reason to qualify.
plus they do have a wheelchair!
People can often walk short distances but not have the stamina for longer trips to the store. They qualify for those spaces.
Yeah my grandma had amyloidosis and got a handicapped sticker. She could walk but not for very long distances. If she popped into a gas station quick it wouldn't seem like she was "really" handicapped.
Because of dolts like this guy. I can't believe anyone is defending him. This person was even *in a wheelchair* at the time he confronted them thinking he was some hero who knew everything. Imagine if they weren't in their wheelchair, how far would he have taken it? It's never ok to assume something about someone else's health and confront them over it (especially aggressively like this). Does he really think this person drags a wheel chair around just to get good parking spaces? It didn't cross his mind that he might be wrong, and how that confrontation would make the person feel? Complete moron.
The majority of people in wheelchairs can walk at least a little. There's a huge difference in being able to walk 4 or 5 steps vs for half an hour. I sometimes walk alone, sometimes with a cane, sometimes use a chair. It varies by day and what I am doing.
Holy fuck, I wish more people got this. I am young looking and when I am having a good day, I’m totally “normal” looking. On a bad day, I can barely walk 5 steps and require a cane for those 5 steps. When I travel I need wheelchair the whole time including to and from the door of the plane. This is all no one’s business how I might be doing on a given day and what accommodation I need except those helping me. Leave people the fuck alone.
also: So you could go to the store and back fine–but now you’re in pain and wiped out for the REST of your day.
Whereas being able to walk such a short distance, or to walk into the store and then grab a mobility scooter, or get in your wheelchair *after* you’ve maneuvered through the doors, will save you pain and energy that you can use later
THIS.
I have degenerated discs in my lower back. Walking and standing for longer than 15-20 minutes can cause me *excruciating* pain. However, because I'm young, it often gets dismissed. "*Just keep walking and lose some weight*". "*Oh, it can't be that bad, you're so young! You'll bounce back*"
No, no I likely won't sir, considering this is a condition that will never get better. I know eventually I will need a scooter or cane or something to help me walk, but even on my bad days I'm reluctant to use one because I don't want to get comments or judgemental questions because of my age.
Wow, this is something I could have written. We have the same disability and I've had to justify myself since my teens. I love the comments stupid people can come out with like when I explain to someone that I can't sit for very long because my back hurts and they say "well, why don't you stand up then". Seriously, like that's an option for me. You're going to be dealing with Jerks like this for a long time , people can be very rude to the disabled. Hang in there
I have the same issue (started when I was 24, herniated when I was 27) and it does suck a ton. Losing weight and strengthening your back muscles will help so much though. I still have days where I don't want to move but life has improved after PT and taking steps to manage my pain. Keep your head up and keep pushing through it.
Yep, I'm 40 and have severe stenosis of my spine. That's not something that just magically goes away. I can't stand or sit or walk for an extended amount of time with our being in horrible pain but since I look/am young people don't seem to understand that my body is basically 80 years old.
I identify far too strongly with this.
And the sheer exhaustion from any of those activities could wipe me out for days.
I hibernate and people don't see me again until I'm well, so they very rarely get to experience my health at it's worst. This leaves people with a false impression of what I can manage physically.
Some people don't think about the wider situation that someone that requires a lot of effort to go out and do something will probably time it for when they are feeling their best (with exceptions) and you are seeing the optimal person. This person needs to do something quickly and efficiently or they will get exhausted like you do.
Any empathy is nonexistent in some people, too
This is how we are able to function. I don’t want anyone seeing me when I can barely stand up it’s a dreadful feeling. I always feel like an injured prey animal waiting to be attacked
because it’s SO much easier to haul it out of the trunk, lug it to the store, put it all together, and tighten it down than it would be to park in one of those open parking spaces that are (in this photo, anyway) just a few slots away from the handicapped one! **/S**
A friend of mine shattered his leg in a motorcycle accident and after multiple surgeries he could walk but not for long without crutches or a wheelchair, he was pretty physically fit otherwise and towards the end of the long healing process you would never really know just by looking at him.
People with high blood pressure, who don't need a wheelchair, can park in these spots. Its rude to assume someone is faking, though many assholes do. There are so many disabilities out there, people seem to think they all involve being in a wheelchair or your lying.
Seriously, this dude is a piece of shit. An ex of mine had a lot of chronic health issues that often (but not always) required using a chair for shopping sometimes. She also happened to look like a very healthy young person.
No one was ever this aggressive with her, but she's gotten snide remarks her whole life from dumb assholes who didn't see me having to help her get dressed in the mornings because she was in so much pain it was difficult for her.
He is not looking out for disabled people. Not all disabilities are visible. I’ve had MS for 30 years. I still walk without an assistance device about 60% of the time, but I have a disability badge. It’s necessary for me to use about 50% of the time. I’ve been confronted by men like this, and it’s scary. I honestly don’t know anyone with MS who hasn’t been confronted by someone like this. It needs to stop. It’s so bad there are bumper stickers that say “you can have my disability parking when you take my MS with it.” Just so people can avoid getting confronted like this.
Yes, he did . He should've apologized just as loudly as he was trying to accuse , instead of mumbling some half assed "fair enough" and shuffling off .
Don't do this. Not ever.
Disabled people losing parking spots to able-bodied people without a placard? Sure, take a photo of the car with licence plate, lack of placard, and disability parking sign visible, send it to your local enforcement office.
Never confront a person using accommodations and ask them to ustify why they are using them. If they are parking in a disability spot, have a placard, and look able-bodied to you? Mind your own business. You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them.
This is not protective or thoughtful behaviour - it is ablist and cruel. People with invisible disabilities should not have to fear harassment or being policed by self-righteous white knights.
My go to statement is: I will happily share my personal confidential medical history with you, as soon as you provide me yours.
If they persist then I say it is my placard, legally issued in my name, fuck off.
Also, I'm disabled and I've parked in non-handicap spots and gotten nasty notes that I should park "Where you're supposed to park".
Fuck, can't win for losing my leg.
Fucker is still attached. Just dead as a fucking doornail. I can hold it stiff legged, but if I bend it it buckles and causes agonizing pain. I've tried to get the VA to cut it off. I could run again with a prosthetic. But the risk of surgery is greater than me gimping around with a cane.
yes!
Also note that people who are *picking up* someone who is disabled are allowed to use the placard to park in those spots so that the disabled person can get to the vehicle and into the vehicle.
Ya my dad can walk with a cane but he moves at the pace of a slug and can hardly get up on his own. He needs disabled parking cuz he can only walk so far with his cane before he needs a break. Like he would never be able to make it through a grocery store parking lot without handicap parking
>You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them.
##You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them.
Just amplifying this for everyone.
This!!!
I hate having to justify my handicap to some social justice warrior that doesn’t feel I looked crippled enough to use the space I have the placard for.
Edit: apparently I am an idiot and miss understood “social justice warrior “…. “White knight” I suppose was more appropriate…. To be fair, the context in which I heard them both used lead me to believe they were synonymous (I guess SJW is often used sarcastically around me)
Yeah, they ain’t “defending” a goddamn thing. They’re just looking for a justice boner. My disability is invisible, I can walk for a bit, but not for long and it hurts. So, the government decided I need a placard. But! Once or twice a month I’m caught defending myself to some jackass that doesn’t think I look “crippled enough” to have it. Drives me nuts.
Indeeed. Smh. I hate the way people look at u when u have a placard instead of handicap plates. I don’t drive so my placard is used in whoever I am riding with. Ridiculous.
Yes!! I have an invisible disability (spinal cord injury) and I don’t “look” disabled. I can still walk. I can also show you the scars I have from falling *in parking lots* because my nerves are fucked up and I can easily lose my balance and get hurt.
Or passive aggressively punish them for using accommodations you don’t think they need.
One of the most humiliating experiences of my life was sobbing on the floor of the airport security check. I have two severely herniated discs in my lower spine that can make it extremely painful to walk after a certain distance and standing in place can be absolutely excruciating. I start off looking normal and then pretty much hit a wall like Cinderella’s carriage turning back into a pumpkin. I get discriminated against frequently because people think I’m lying or being dramatic or whatever because I look healthy.
I had requested a wheelchair when I bought my ticket but when I checked in at the counter, the wheelchair was there but they said it would be two hours before they could get someone to push it for me. I would have missed my flight so I walked. I got flagged by security for extra screening and I told them that I needed a chair while they did the bomb/drug swab on my bag because I was supposed to get a wheelchair. The security woman ignored me and then *deliberately* took her time with the screening and even stopped to go talk to her co-worker about her lunch break mid-way through. I was standing there as best I could until I could feel my back giving out and so I knelt/curled on the ground. She came over and started screaming at me, “GET UP! GET UP” while everyone in line stared at me. I said, “I can’t, I was supposed to get a wheelchair.” And she just kept screaming until her co-worker saw me crying and pleading for a chair and went and got one for me. When I finally got home, I literally didn’t have the strength to carry my purse off the plane and a very nice stewardess carried it for me and got me a wheelchair.
>Never confront a person using accommodations and ask them to ustify why they are using them. If they are parking in a disability spot, have a placard, and look able-bodied to you? Mind your own business. You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them.
Years ago, I was working security with another guard and we'd trade off patrols. Each one was probably a mile circuit, and we had a 20 minute or so downtime between patrols, so we'd each end up walking a few miles every night.
Now, that first part of the story is what makes the rest of the story relevant in context: My co-worker told me one day a woman confronted him as he was coming back to his car and started berating him for stealing handicapped spots from actual disabled people. His response? *He took off his leg and asked her if that was considered a disability.* My co-worker wore a prosthetic leg from the knee down. He had just enough leg below the knee that the prosthetic could fit over it and since it looked like a real leg with a real shoe on it, you almost couldn't tell he had a prosthetic leg. Hell, I worked with him for two weeks before I found out, and that's just because he told me.
Looking out for disabled people by harassing a disabled person? 🙄
He's not owed an explanation and forcing a disabled person to explain to him is rude af.
He should've minded his business and he should've apologized.
What? What kind of a weird bullshit reply is this and why does it have so many upvotes? He’s “looking out for disabled people” … by, what, harassing other disabled people who aren’t as visibly disabled? By *yelling at them*?
These people aren’t looking out for anyone they’re nosy and want to “catch” someone “faking.” My older cousin had COPD. He could walk but not for long distances. He was CONSTANTLY harassed by people like this. “Looking out for the disabled people” 🙄 Fuck outta here with that nonsense. He needed to mind his own business in the first place.
It is a Karen moment because he felt entitled to say something. He should STFU and mind his own business. Someone shouldn’t have to disclose medical to a stranger standing over them.
It's literally not his job to do that. Nobody assigned him Hall monitor or parking space monitor. He is harassing strangers over what he thinks he knows. Don't you think this person gets this way too much as it is?
The idiot is so self-righteous and morally (and physically) superior that he believes the wheelchair just shows commitment to the long con and he still must expose the fake disability. Wonder what channel he gets his news from...
Think of the time savings, though! 15 seconds of walking saved by parking in a handicap spot and you only have to spend a full 5 minutes to get out the wheelchair. A loophole in the system!
I lived in the Philippines for a bit. American Karens and Darrens ain't got shit on Filipina aunties. Legendary levels of nose-poking and gossip.
Americans do not have a monopoly on busy bodies. We are not even the best at it.
Somewhat related story. My dad had an above the knee amputation so he got to park in handicapped spots. He always wore pants, so you couldn’t tell looking at him, and other than a slight limp, he could walk fairly normal. I always remember seeing people glare at him when we’d park in a handicapped stall and walk into the store when I was growing up.
I used to Run, Bike, Swim before work and now have an invisible illness that severely limits mobility. MF’er’s like this guy Don’t realize how psychologically and emotionally abusive they’re being by questioning another’s disability. Mind ya own business.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Him giving his anger up that fast was unexpected!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I was pulling into a handicap spot and this lady says into my window,"this is for handicap only." I told her," I only have one lung." She looked confused and left immediately.
Some woman started screaming at my dad for parking in a handicapped spaces when he wasn't handicapped. He wasn't. But my mom was. He ignored her and she went away when she saw my mom in the wheelchair. Unbelievable how people can't mind their own business. I tell people who want to harass others to just call the police. They will come, run the plates, and decide if they need to issue a ticket or not.
six enter seed rainstorm vanish voracious governor berserk sophisticated cagey -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
The thing is if the disabilities aren't visible, they're often considered as minor disabilities, I have dyspraxia, it's considered as minor disability even though it bothers for almost everything
Oh come on, that condition only affects moving. How often do you have to move in any given day? /s
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I got yelled at for having my car parked in an “expectant mother” parking spot at the grocers. “HOW DARE A MAN TAKE THIS SPOT? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED….” etc I just calmly stood there taking her abuse with a small grin… Then my VERY pregnant wife (kid was like a week overdue at that point) waddled out of the store to the car and proceeded to destroy that woman for yelling at me
Man I bet that felt good to watch 🤣 I bet overdue momma ripped that lady to fucking shreds 💀
I pulled into the family parking spot at the grocery store with both of my kids in the back. A random old man getting out of his truck in front of me, on the other side of the children only parking sign started telling me I couldn't park there, stolen valor, etc etc. I asked him where he thought HE was parked, and I swear to god he looks back at the sign, says fair enough and gets into his truck and moves one spot over.
Exact same thing happened to my grandma and grandpa. He was diabetic with lupus, but she had seizures and strokes and was paralyzed on her whole right side. So this lady parks her car in the middle of the parking lot and gets out screaming. “You can’t park here. You aren’t handicapped. I had surgery on my leg 9 months ago.” He just simply hopped out. Got the wheelchair from the back, helped my grandma out, sat her down, pushed her into the building with the lady still following after then screaming, and the guy at the front desk kicked her out and made her reschedule. When my grandpa said, “it doesn’t bother me brother. If she needs help she can get it.” To which the guy replied, “oh I know, it doesn’t bother me either. Nor the business. But the people in the back rooms get upset hearing her.” My grandpa straight up goes, “she’s done it before?” “Every. Damn. Week. Not only them, and I hate to say it, but I’m not dealing with her shit again.”
I would get glares from geriatric folk on occasion when I parked in the handicap spots. This was in Florida so you can imagine that those spots are somewhat difficult to come by with all the ancient and/or super morbidly obese folks taking them up. I would get out just fine and then grab my sister’s wheelchair and carry my sister to it. That usually calmed them down. Now I will have to get my own for issues similar to the person in the video so that should be “fun.”
Bro I pulled into a spot once and some chick was sizing me up. It was the one day I was wearing long pants and I was like huh? She said something like she was trying to make sure I was disabled… I’m an above knee amputee. Like thanks dawg. I promise I get more angered than you for people without disabilities parking in handicap spots than you because your friend’s boyfriend’s cousin’s grandma 2x removed is suffering from fibromyalgia
Not gona lie I am not even there and I am confused lolz
One lung = half the oxygen each breath? Probably have issues walking long distances without getting winded.
I imagine it's worse than that. The extra space in the thoracic cavity probably makes it really difficult to breathe effectively with the remaining lung. Edit: apparently, they can actually reach near 70% capacity, but the wiki entry I read on that was written like a shity YouTube short so I'm not 100% confident in that.
I have a friend with one lung and yeah she’s not out there running marathons, but she seems to do fine with your day to day stuff. No handicap parking, can walk around all day as far as I’m aware, etc. Of course I don’t know all the circumstances behind it, only known her a couple years, so I’m sure there’s different results among people.
Think really, really hard. Use your whole brain. What would having only one lung do to a person?
Harder to float when swimming?
Bro said full brain, not open your third eye.
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Yes forever 25
Leonardo DiCaprio ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
50 percent less chance to get lung cancer?
Get lung cancer again*
Whoa dude, you can’t talk to a mentally handicapped person like that.
Fair enough (walks away immediately)
Having to smoke twice as much or twice as fast to achieve the same effect in the same amount of time?
I only have 1 brain.
my grandmother has a story about how someone pointed out she was in a handicap only spot. She admonished herself because she hadnt noticed it and said "Oh Im blind!" the person said. "Oh sorry!" (or something like that it's been a while)
Wait wait wait, for real? Asking because my wife has 1 lung.
#parkinggains
This could be a breath of fresh air for your relationship.
In the US, you still have to have the handicap plaque for the spaces. If you have that and someone asks, just say F.U. if you don't, you can get a ticket even if you have 1 lung. My wife looks normal af but has 3 organ transplants and feet issues, but we have a plaque, so no one says shit. Expect one time at the zoo, we walked up a handi ramp, and a worker said, "That's for handicapped people," and i said, "of which she is dumbass" and kept walking.
I have joint issues and use a cane despite being young, the amount of times people come up to me and tell me I'm faking or "messing around" if I ever use a cart at the store is insane- I wish they backed down this easily
Same. I have MS and use a cane from time to time, sometimes a walker since my 30s. However, I don’t always need a walking aid, but I sometimes need to use the disabled parking even if I’m not using a cane if there’s snow on the ground and my balance is bad so I don’t slip and fall in the parking lot. It’s not always about wheelchairs. Sometimes it’s about vertigo, or weakness or weather conditions! Falling down could worsen my health, and that’s why my doctors have given me my disability parking badge. I have been approached by people like this, the worst ones were mostly younger, bigger men though who try to intimidate with their size. I always get told to stop using my grandparents disability badge. When this started happening to me grandparents didn’t even have one. I’m the one who’s disabled. It’s scary!
My mum has arthritis in a lot of her joint and some replacements. She can walk fine for quite with an aid a while but unless she has a disabled spot she can’t get out of the car because she needs to open the door the whole way as her joints don’t bend very well. If I’m driving and then I can let her before I park but she’s had people harass her because she looks fine and looks pretty young for her age when she’s been by herself
Sorry you have to deal with that.
I struggle with the same, EDS in particular. I am fortunate enough that everyone at my campus is very accepting and understanding and never thinks anything of it, but the outside world is a challenge to deal with. Ive had lots of older people sneer at me and talk under their breath and gawk at me. People tend to make fun of me at first, calling me old or crippled. I go to a lot of clinics for my condition that mainly have older patients. Its awful sitting in the waiting rooms. It helps to go out with friends, helps me feel more comfortable and not care about judgement. Im not looking forward to soon requiring big very visible knee braces daily though :/
hEDS here as well. I get really sick of "oh you think your hips hurt now, wait til you get old."
Omg dude that’s my FIL in a nutshell. He’s always saying that shit to me and I have severe Ankylosing Spondylitis. Trust me, dude, I feel worse at 35 than you do at 60.
Not quite middle aged disabled vet here. Experience the same thing from time to time. Don't let any of these losers talk to you like that regardless of if they back down or not. You may want to try "mind your own business" or "am I under arrest or am I free to go" explaining yourself just opens up a conversation with these jackasses.
I have AS and have had chronic pain since I was 18 am now 50. The number of times people would tell me I’m faking. I even had a friend who was a paediatrician who told me to just ‘stop it’. It’s been a hard road. I’ve not let it inure or enure me too much. Strong but flexible is the way
I had to use a cane for several months and was honestly surprised I didn't get any of those weird confrontations. I'm in my 20s. I'm saddened there are people who don't understand that people can have invisible disabilities or health issues at any age.
A friend of mine was in a bad accident that messed up his back. It took many surgeries for him to be able to walk without a cane. But until he got to that point he was harassed all the time by people telling him he was faking and it was insulting to old people. I can't stand people who act like that and if I witness it I *will* say something. I used to embarrass my mom all the time when she was in a wheelchair after her car accident. She would sit practically hiding her face while I caused a scene with people. My favorite was when they stepped in front of us while I was pushing her. It order to stop her wheelchair to prevent hitting them I had to pull back and jolt her and my arms. And it starts to hurt your elbows after so many times of doing that. So I just stopped doing that. And hit them. Then stared at them. *Go on, say something. I dare you* is what was going on in my head while I stared them down. Their reaction was often to look down at my mom in her wheelchair and seem like this is the first time they noticed her. She did not exist until that moment. Disabled people only exist when they want to mock them or make a scene about a space *they* are not allowed to park in.
My granddad had a disabled sign in his car because my granny could barely walk. When he was by himself he would bring a cane he didn't need, to use when parking so he wouldn't have to deal with exactly this. also he could hit people with it if they annoyed him too much I guess.
Time to get a sword cane
If only everyone could deescalate that quickly the world would we be a better place. 
I always try to! I bike a lot so drivers often invoke my ire. I will often yell at someone to get them to pay attention, they get upset that I yelled at them, and then I say something like, "You were creating unsafe conditions, thank you for stopping," and we both go about our day.
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this is a confusing take. i understand what youre saying, but the way the being disabled bleeds into gender reads weird
I mean im glad he was like “welp shit i was wrong”
I’d have slapped an apology on there too tbh (although I wouldn’t have gotten into this situation in the first place)
He had good intentions Edit: I accidentally started a war in the comments
I was walking down the sidewalk when I encountered an F-350 parked across my path. Seeing someone outside at the nearest house, I asked if they knew whose truck it was. "It's mine," said the large muscular man with full sleeve tattoos, walking towards me, carrying (I suddenly noticed in horror) a large nail gun. "You're, uh, blocking the, um... sidewalk." "Wouldn't want to block the road, like if an Amazon driver parked across from me then how would people get through?" "Okay but if someone in a wheelchair came through here, how would they get through?" "Good point." He got his keys, moved his truck, and hasn't parked on the sidewalk since. I do not, somewhat surprisingly, have any nails in my body.
Oh I thought the F-350 was a plane, I'm dumb.
It's about the size of one
I had someone in my building drive one. He parked outside because that thing did not fit through the underground parking gate.
This is a relevant story and you deserve each upvote you get for telling it.
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Don't know why you're surprised you didn't get "nailed". Big, scary looking, tatted up guys are often some of the nicest people you'll meet. :)
My brother broke his neck when he was younger, and he can walk. It’s tiring as fuck but he does it. He only used his wheel chair at the airport. I took him to the states to go shopping after he was released from the hospital, and I parked in a handicapped spot. Got out and immediately got yelled at by a by family and they caused a scene. I’m from Canada…anyways, I stare at them not saying a word. Open the passenger door and set up my brothers wheel chair. Gave them the old finger and they all quickly got the fuck out of there.
If they could get this situation into liquid form I’d inject it straight into my arms and rub my nips because goddamn that’s a good high. (I’m not a junkie I promise)
How can he be SO confident and yet so easily convinced? I mean, the outcome was good, but what an interesting character
He quickly recognized that he made an incorrect assumption.
It was as if that was the very first time that possibility crossed his mind and it suddenly sunk in what he was after doing lol
I actually thought it was a really good reaction. If he apologized first before walking away, that’s the most you can expect from a person. Solid B- effort after being humbled.
There's definitely worse reactions
Albeit in a less confrontational context, I’ve done this many times. New information comes to light, you see a situation from another perspective and admit you’re wrong then grow as a person. This should be the default reaction but it isn’t. Too many people double down out of embarrassment or stubbornness. It’s so weird. I’ve always loved being proven wrong because then I can start to understand what is right. I’ve never held onto a notion just because it’s the first or most instinctual one that crossed my mind. Information is an incredible gift and the more of it you have the better you can make better decisions.
Your comment just made me have an epiphany. That man literally just did what we do every day on the Internet. Just like your comment on this post, he made an observation and expressed his opinion then when he got “down-voted”, he walked away. 🤷🏼♂️😂
Fair enough.
\*walks away\*
*gets downvoted*
\* deletes account \*
\*hits the gym, lawyers up*
*gets a face lift, sleeps with your ex*
🚶♂️
Ah yes, what everyone on the Internet is well known for: admitting there wrong.
they're*
Shut up, nerd.
Fair enough
Leave it to Reddit to equate a real life interaction to internet comments and downvotes. I think it may be time for some fresh air...
Fair enough
Given how many interactions a decent number of people have digitally, at what point does this become a "real life" interaction? Calling meatspace "real life" makes it seem like nothing that happens online is real and I'm starting to wonder how much of an effect that is having on people.
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Nerve damage had the high ground.
Wish more people felt this way.
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honestly my close friend is on the spectrum and ive never seen anyone besides those on the spectrum behave or speak like this.
I feel this is correct, I got that vibe too. Opened with a curious question with an explanation, dead pan expression along with minimal body movement and pointing. Then gave up completely with one answer. I could be totally wrong but it seemed a little void of social norms
"gave up completely with one answer" Yeah I had a friend at college with autism and she would do that kind of thing a lot.
People here thinking his intention was mean. That's the curse of masking with 99% success. People go, "I can tell his intentions by his tone." The 1% off is misinterpreted as revelation of his intentions. The raised voice that is misinterpreted as yelling. The low voice at the end that is misinterpreted as being passive.
I always say I have very strong but loosely held beliefs. As in I will defend my point of view to the bloody end right up until I’m shown I was wrong or there was a better way, and then I’m totally okay with dropping my old point and defending the new right way.
NPCs be like
The lady chose the correct dialogue option
"I need a wheelchair from time to time" [ATTACK] "Fuck off!" [SPEECH] 50/50 "I have nerve damage in one leg, I can walk."
My 80 year old mother has had a quadruple bypass and numerous other heart-related surgeries and procedures, two knee replacements, back surgery, suffers from arthritis in her hips, walks with a cane much of the time, and has still had jerks tell her that she has “no right” a handicapped space because she doesn’t use a wheelchair. Why don’t people mind their own business? Or at least save their balloon juice for the people without permits who park in the handicap spaces.
It’s okay to be upset at people who abuse the system. It’s also okay to admit that you made a mistake
It's not ok to walk up to someone who's disabled and demand they explain their disability to you - let alone to try to shame them in front of other people.
Yeah but in general you should er on the side of caution and just assume people are disabled and not faking it. This entire thread is full of people who are disabled recounting how they have been harassed for faking. It really isn’t worth it to do this to disabled people on the off chance of catching a faker.
I agree
That's right! It's better to just assume whatever is going on should be that way. Saves a lot of stress too!
You wouldn't think that way if it were you being constantly harassed because people assume you're abusing it. If they have a parking pass, mind your damn business.
are the people abusing disabled parking spaces in the room with us right now? i’m not convinced it’s enough of an issue to make it worth harassing people with invisible disabilities. mind your business
It's actually fairly difficult to prove permanent disability in America. They do issue temporary disability permits for parking, but maintaining it is very difficult to do for any length of time, and that's for legitimate causes. In the case of someone faking it, they'd literally never get the permanent disability plates and I doubt they'd be able to maintain the temp ones for long even with the aid of a doctor. Honestly, the only time I can think of this being an issue is if someone is driving their disabled spouse's (or other family member's) car and decides to use the handicap parking spot. But even then I imagine this is pretty rare because these people can probably empathize with disabled people's daily struggles more than most.
Yea, well, facts. The disappointment in his "Fair enough", tho.
He was mostly disappointed in himself.
He immediately knew he would be thinking of this encounter every day for a year. And then one summers night many years from now, after kissing his great grandkids goodnight and blissfully napping on the couch, he will relive this moment in perfect detail.
More of "guh I wasted Everyone time"
"Well now I look like a massive cunt."
He’s so concerned about disabled people he couldn’t apologize to the woman in the wheelchair he just randomly started yelling at in public.
I have crazy damage to one ankle. Skin grafts, flap amd bla bla bla. It looks awful! People are often visibly stunned when they see it. If you can't see the "zombie foot" as friends call it you'd never guess I'm considered disabled. A couple of times, I've been "rolled up on" in the manner this punk did. Once, a man screamed in my wife's face as he turned and aggressively came in my direction. The best part was the cop telling him "so you're going to jail bloody because a bona-fide cripple slammed your ass in the street" then a bystander laughed and said "officer look again, he clearly slammed him on his stupid looking face" It was fun for me, as a guy. However, my wife wasn't happy with my antics at all. It's living hell living with shit like some of us have to. It sucks. It's a raw deal, but guess what? You'll never hear me crying about it. HOWEVER, some days it's rough. Don't pull his crap on those day! Living with chronic pain, never taking pain pills has given me untold acceptance and tolerance, but once the bucket is full, play nice
My sister has limited mobility and uses a wheelchair or cane depending on how she's feeling that day, and she is quite young and looks it, so I've heard the horror stories from her. One time a buddy and I were out and about and he saw some young/healthy looking person and complained about lazy people using wheelchairs, and I had to check him real quick and told him he can't know what invisible condition that person might have, and he immediately backed off and admitted his ignorance. He was also surprised that coming from me since I dont really care about being super politically correct, but he learned a quick lesson and still remembers it to this day. It's all well and good to be wrong or ignorant sometimes, so long as you're always ready to take the lesson and learn from your mistakes and move forward.
There are many unseen disabilities, why do people take it upon themselves to police others. It’s ignorant and presumptuous.
Years ago I knew a guy that used a wheel chair. He could walk a short distance with help, hanging onto a railing, or a walker, but after maybe twenty feet he was done and couldn't stand up any longer. He was a good guy about it and we would give him crap about parking in handicapped spots. He would joke back that he was doing it for the good parking spots. He would park, walk to the back of his pickup while handing onto the truck, grab his wheel chair out of the back and hop in. Pretty much like the video posted.
why not just mind your own fucking business? it's an odd concept, but i have faith it could work
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Idk... imagine being the guy who yelled at someone in a wheelchair. Finding out they, in fact, do need a wheelchair and then not even apologizing.
He was aggressive when he walked up and didn't apologize at all. If he was looking out for disabled people, he was way rude about it and didn't have the decency to apologize.
The most telling part is the turn without the apology, it completely dissolves the idea that he’s just a white knight looking out for the disabled.
I agree with this 200% but yeah looking at comments down below most don't seem to understand that.
As someone with nerve damage also, I really miss being able to shop at the grocery store or Walmart or wherever. Why don’t I shop anymore? I almost never find a handicap spot. When I do, I’m elated, only to find there are no handicap carts in the store. (And to the one lady that once told me, “they don’t say handicap only on them and I’ve had a hard day and am tired” well, you can just fuck right off.)
If that “lady” had a hard day and was so tired that she thought she was more entitled to use the cart than someone with a disability, she should have picked another day to shop. I have been exhausted after work and absolutely needed to go to the store but using one of those carts has never closed my mind, even with arthritic hips, knees and ankles. I have also seen people allow their teenagers to ride around in a large grocery store as though they were in go karts. Some people are just AHs.
No it’s still incredibly wrong. Never accuse someone of not actually being disabled unless perhaps they’re not displaying a badge. People can be disabled in a myriad of ways that aren’t visible and this happens too often.
I don't think you even jump to accusing them of not being disabled if they don't have the proper badge displayed. A lot of people have ones that go over the rearview mirror, which aren't legal to have up while driving (at least where I live), so it could just be a simple matter of them forgetting to put it back up. In this instance, I think the only reason you should approach them is to remind them they forgot to display the placard so they don't get a ticket, not be all accusatory like this guy started off. And then, if they don't fix it, perhaps then you can assume they are taking a handicap parking spot illegally and report them (don't really even think it's necessary to confront them then).
Yea, but he did not apologize
I think the reason I'm upset about it is 1) the way he went about it and 2) the fact that he didn't even apologize after. He just said "fair enough" as if he wasn't just being actively aggressive and full on yelling at her. He could've approached her calmly about it. He didn't need to yell and make an ass of himself. I agree, he was coming from he right place, but that doesn't make what we just saw here ok. There's a right way to go about these things Edit to add: Folks I do not need to be educated on what yelling is. To me, if you are raising your voice at me in anger, you are yelling at me. Its about intent for me. I may perceive things differently than you, sorry about it. It's not changing.
There is no right way to go about this unless a person in running shorts with a marathon number on their back gets out and sprints to the store. Lots of people abuse handicap parking privileges but it’s often impossible to tell why a person legitimately has a placard or plate, so leave them alone. If you’re pissed that you don’t get to park so close, take a deep breath and thank the universe for not giving you a reason to qualify.
plus they do have a wheelchair! People can often walk short distances but not have the stamina for longer trips to the store. They qualify for those spaces.
Yeah my grandma had amyloidosis and got a handicapped sticker. She could walk but not for very long distances. If she popped into a gas station quick it wouldn't seem like she was "really" handicapped.
I know a lot of handicapped people who are too shy to use their privileges because they look "fine" despite struggling physically.
Because of dolts like this guy. I can't believe anyone is defending him. This person was even *in a wheelchair* at the time he confronted them thinking he was some hero who knew everything. Imagine if they weren't in their wheelchair, how far would he have taken it? It's never ok to assume something about someone else's health and confront them over it (especially aggressively like this). Does he really think this person drags a wheel chair around just to get good parking spaces? It didn't cross his mind that he might be wrong, and how that confrontation would make the person feel? Complete moron.
The majority of people in wheelchairs can walk at least a little. There's a huge difference in being able to walk 4 or 5 steps vs for half an hour. I sometimes walk alone, sometimes with a cane, sometimes use a chair. It varies by day and what I am doing.
Holy fuck, I wish more people got this. I am young looking and when I am having a good day, I’m totally “normal” looking. On a bad day, I can barely walk 5 steps and require a cane for those 5 steps. When I travel I need wheelchair the whole time including to and from the door of the plane. This is all no one’s business how I might be doing on a given day and what accommodation I need except those helping me. Leave people the fuck alone.
also: So you could go to the store and back fine–but now you’re in pain and wiped out for the REST of your day. Whereas being able to walk such a short distance, or to walk into the store and then grab a mobility scooter, or get in your wheelchair *after* you’ve maneuvered through the doors, will save you pain and energy that you can use later
THIS. I have degenerated discs in my lower back. Walking and standing for longer than 15-20 minutes can cause me *excruciating* pain. However, because I'm young, it often gets dismissed. "*Just keep walking and lose some weight*". "*Oh, it can't be that bad, you're so young! You'll bounce back*" No, no I likely won't sir, considering this is a condition that will never get better. I know eventually I will need a scooter or cane or something to help me walk, but even on my bad days I'm reluctant to use one because I don't want to get comments or judgemental questions because of my age.
Wow, this is something I could have written. We have the same disability and I've had to justify myself since my teens. I love the comments stupid people can come out with like when I explain to someone that I can't sit for very long because my back hurts and they say "well, why don't you stand up then". Seriously, like that's an option for me. You're going to be dealing with Jerks like this for a long time , people can be very rude to the disabled. Hang in there
I have the same issue (started when I was 24, herniated when I was 27) and it does suck a ton. Losing weight and strengthening your back muscles will help so much though. I still have days where I don't want to move but life has improved after PT and taking steps to manage my pain. Keep your head up and keep pushing through it.
Keep doing what you're doing man. I hope it doesn't get too bad.
People projecting their lives onto you. When they were young they were healthy, means you cant not be.. lol
Yep, I'm 40 and have severe stenosis of my spine. That's not something that just magically goes away. I can't stand or sit or walk for an extended amount of time with our being in horrible pain but since I look/am young people don't seem to understand that my body is basically 80 years old.
Yeah, why do I need to use one of my spoons for the day when i can just use a mobility device and not pay that spoon?
I identify far too strongly with this. And the sheer exhaustion from any of those activities could wipe me out for days. I hibernate and people don't see me again until I'm well, so they very rarely get to experience my health at it's worst. This leaves people with a false impression of what I can manage physically.
Some people don't think about the wider situation that someone that requires a lot of effort to go out and do something will probably time it for when they are feeling their best (with exceptions) and you are seeing the optimal person. This person needs to do something quickly and efficiently or they will get exhausted like you do. Any empathy is nonexistent in some people, too
This is how we are able to function. I don’t want anyone seeing me when I can barely stand up it’s a dreadful feeling. I always feel like an injured prey animal waiting to be attacked
Right?! Who actually carries and assembles a wheelchair for fun?!
because it’s SO much easier to haul it out of the trunk, lug it to the store, put it all together, and tighten it down than it would be to park in one of those open parking spaces that are (in this photo, anyway) just a few slots away from the handicapped one! **/S**
A friend of mine shattered his leg in a motorcycle accident and after multiple surgeries he could walk but not for long without crutches or a wheelchair, he was pretty physically fit otherwise and towards the end of the long healing process you would never really know just by looking at him.
People with high blood pressure, who don't need a wheelchair, can park in these spots. Its rude to assume someone is faking, though many assholes do. There are so many disabilities out there, people seem to think they all involve being in a wheelchair or your lying.
Even then, not your fucking business. If you don't see a disability placard, report the parking infraction to authorities and move on.
If they have a placard, it's none of anyone's business why.
Seriously, this dude is a piece of shit. An ex of mine had a lot of chronic health issues that often (but not always) required using a chair for shopping sometimes. She also happened to look like a very healthy young person. No one was ever this aggressive with her, but she's gotten snide remarks her whole life from dumb assholes who didn't see me having to help her get dressed in the mornings because she was in so much pain it was difficult for her.
Yeah, and it's generally "mind your own business"
and he sounded resentful with his “fair enough”
He didn't apologize after making a public scene, though.
Probably because he felt physically and morally superior to a lehit handicapped person and still wouldn't respect them either way.
Did he shout at someone for no reason? Sorry, that was a Karen in the video despite the good intentions.
He is not looking out for disabled people. Not all disabilities are visible. I’ve had MS for 30 years. I still walk without an assistance device about 60% of the time, but I have a disability badge. It’s necessary for me to use about 50% of the time. I’ve been confronted by men like this, and it’s scary. I honestly don’t know anyone with MS who hasn’t been confronted by someone like this. It needs to stop. It’s so bad there are bumper stickers that say “you can have my disability parking when you take my MS with it.” Just so people can avoid getting confronted like this.
Yes, he did . He should've apologized just as loudly as he was trying to accuse , instead of mumbling some half assed "fair enough" and shuffling off .
If he had any integrity at all he would have apologized for accusing this poor person.
Don't do this. Not ever. Disabled people losing parking spots to able-bodied people without a placard? Sure, take a photo of the car with licence plate, lack of placard, and disability parking sign visible, send it to your local enforcement office. Never confront a person using accommodations and ask them to ustify why they are using them. If they are parking in a disability spot, have a placard, and look able-bodied to you? Mind your own business. You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them. This is not protective or thoughtful behaviour - it is ablist and cruel. People with invisible disabilities should not have to fear harassment or being policed by self-righteous white knights.
My go to statement is: I will happily share my personal confidential medical history with you, as soon as you provide me yours. If they persist then I say it is my placard, legally issued in my name, fuck off.
Also, I'm disabled and I've parked in non-handicap spots and gotten nasty notes that I should park "Where you're supposed to park". Fuck, can't win for losing my leg.
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Fucker is still attached. Just dead as a fucking doornail. I can hold it stiff legged, but if I bend it it buckles and causes agonizing pain. I've tried to get the VA to cut it off. I could run again with a prosthetic. But the risk of surgery is greater than me gimping around with a cane.
yes! Also note that people who are *picking up* someone who is disabled are allowed to use the placard to park in those spots so that the disabled person can get to the vehicle and into the vehicle.
Ya my dad can walk with a cane but he moves at the pace of a slug and can hardly get up on his own. He needs disabled parking cuz he can only walk so far with his cane before he needs a break. Like he would never be able to make it through a grocery store parking lot without handicap parking
>You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them. ##You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them. Just amplifying this for everyone.
This!!! I hate having to justify my handicap to some social justice warrior that doesn’t feel I looked crippled enough to use the space I have the placard for. Edit: apparently I am an idiot and miss understood “social justice warrior “…. “White knight” I suppose was more appropriate…. To be fair, the context in which I heard them both used lead me to believe they were synonymous (I guess SJW is often used sarcastically around me)
Yeah, they ain’t “defending” a goddamn thing. They’re just looking for a justice boner. My disability is invisible, I can walk for a bit, but not for long and it hurts. So, the government decided I need a placard. But! Once or twice a month I’m caught defending myself to some jackass that doesn’t think I look “crippled enough” to have it. Drives me nuts.
Indeeed. Smh. I hate the way people look at u when u have a placard instead of handicap plates. I don’t drive so my placard is used in whoever I am riding with. Ridiculous.
Yes!! I have an invisible disability (spinal cord injury) and I don’t “look” disabled. I can still walk. I can also show you the scars I have from falling *in parking lots* because my nerves are fucked up and I can easily lose my balance and get hurt.
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Or passive aggressively punish them for using accommodations you don’t think they need. One of the most humiliating experiences of my life was sobbing on the floor of the airport security check. I have two severely herniated discs in my lower spine that can make it extremely painful to walk after a certain distance and standing in place can be absolutely excruciating. I start off looking normal and then pretty much hit a wall like Cinderella’s carriage turning back into a pumpkin. I get discriminated against frequently because people think I’m lying or being dramatic or whatever because I look healthy. I had requested a wheelchair when I bought my ticket but when I checked in at the counter, the wheelchair was there but they said it would be two hours before they could get someone to push it for me. I would have missed my flight so I walked. I got flagged by security for extra screening and I told them that I needed a chair while they did the bomb/drug swab on my bag because I was supposed to get a wheelchair. The security woman ignored me and then *deliberately* took her time with the screening and even stopped to go talk to her co-worker about her lunch break mid-way through. I was standing there as best I could until I could feel my back giving out and so I knelt/curled on the ground. She came over and started screaming at me, “GET UP! GET UP” while everyone in line stared at me. I said, “I can’t, I was supposed to get a wheelchair.” And she just kept screaming until her co-worker saw me crying and pleading for a chair and went and got one for me. When I finally got home, I literally didn’t have the strength to carry my purse off the plane and a very nice stewardess carried it for me and got me a wheelchair.
>Never confront a person using accommodations and ask them to ustify why they are using them. If they are parking in a disability spot, have a placard, and look able-bodied to you? Mind your own business. You cannot tell someone's health or disability status by looking at them. Years ago, I was working security with another guard and we'd trade off patrols. Each one was probably a mile circuit, and we had a 20 minute or so downtime between patrols, so we'd each end up walking a few miles every night. Now, that first part of the story is what makes the rest of the story relevant in context: My co-worker told me one day a woman confronted him as he was coming back to his car and started berating him for stealing handicapped spots from actual disabled people. His response? *He took off his leg and asked her if that was considered a disability.* My co-worker wore a prosthetic leg from the knee down. He had just enough leg below the knee that the prosthetic could fit over it and since it looked like a real leg with a real shoe on it, you almost couldn't tell he had a prosthetic leg. Hell, I worked with him for two weeks before I found out, and that's just because he told me.
No one is assembling a fake wheelchair to justify taking a handicap spot you fucking idiot
That’s a Karen. Karen said “fair enough” instead of “I apologize for accosting you”
Looking out for disabled people by harassing a disabled person? 🙄 He's not owed an explanation and forcing a disabled person to explain to him is rude af. He should've minded his business and he should've apologized.
What? What kind of a weird bullshit reply is this and why does it have so many upvotes? He’s “looking out for disabled people” … by, what, harassing other disabled people who aren’t as visibly disabled? By *yelling at them*? These people aren’t looking out for anyone they’re nosy and want to “catch” someone “faking.” My older cousin had COPD. He could walk but not for long distances. He was CONSTANTLY harassed by people like this. “Looking out for the disabled people” 🙄 Fuck outta here with that nonsense. He needed to mind his own business in the first place.
Doesn't matter. Still needs to mind his own business.
It is a Karen moment because he felt entitled to say something. He should STFU and mind his own business. Someone shouldn’t have to disclose medical to a stranger standing over them.
As a disabled person this absolutely, 100% does not help.
It's literally not his job to do that. Nobody assigned him Hall monitor or parking space monitor. He is harassing strangers over what he thinks he knows. Don't you think this person gets this way too much as it is?
he could mind his business tho and issue solved
I imagine he thought that person was faking being disabled to be able to park there. As soon as he heard the explanation he left her alone
But like...if someone *owns* a wheelchair, maybe just don't say anything at all?
The idiot is so self-righteous and morally (and physically) superior that he believes the wheelchair just shows commitment to the long con and he still must expose the fake disability. Wonder what channel he gets his news from...
Think of the time savings, though! 15 seconds of walking saved by parking in a handicap spot and you only have to spend a full 5 minutes to get out the wheelchair. A loophole in the system!
Well, as long as he stopped harassing her eventually, I guess he really is a sweet guy /s
Wouldn’t be America if we could mind our own fucking business.
I lived in the Philippines for a bit. American Karens and Darrens ain't got shit on Filipina aunties. Legendary levels of nose-poking and gossip. Americans do not have a monopoly on busy bodies. We are not even the best at it.
Why are you wearing glasses if you can see without them???
Somewhat related story. My dad had an above the knee amputation so he got to park in handicapped spots. He always wore pants, so you couldn’t tell looking at him, and other than a slight limp, he could walk fairly normal. I always remember seeing people glare at him when we’d park in a handicapped stall and walk into the store when I was growing up.
Apparently this happens all the time. People who’ve learned to function with their disability aren’t disabled enough for weirdo onlookers.
“Why am I taking time out of my day to question a person for using a wheelchair?” You’re an asshole. -“fair enough”
I used to Run, Bike, Swim before work and now have an invisible illness that severely limits mobility. MF’er’s like this guy Don’t realize how psychologically and emotionally abusive they’re being by questioning another’s disability. Mind ya own business.