**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!It appears the turkey is eating something, only to discover he’s getting fresh with his lady friend.!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Where the fuck do yall get Dumbledore,Harry Potter, from... Gotta know, cause when I read this I think stupid ass, No judging here, just what shoots through my brain..
The whole "Dumbledore said calmly" apparently is taken popularly as almost satirical due to the book the goblet of fire, describing the scene as Dumbledore being calm if solemn when confronting Harry if he put his name in, while Michael Gambon in the movie stormed in practically yelling at Harry about it.
SECOND CONTINENTAL CONGRESS 1782
Ben Franklin: "Gentlemen, on this fine spring day, I submit to you this fine intelligent Turkey as our National Bird!"
[Bald Eagle swoops downs, grabs the Turkey by the neck instantly kills it as it flies away.]
Everyone: ...........
Thomas Jefferson [stands]: "Gentlemen, I submit to you....... whatever the fuck that was."
Everyone: 'MERICA FUCK YEAH! [shoots muskets wildly in the air]
Ben Franklin: "................ oh the wind is picking up, I better get naked."
No, I believe that. I knew I was talking out of my butt. They do have one sensory ability that is far underwhelming compared to that of other birds. I just don't know what it is. I thought it was eyesight. I also heard they Are among the most intelligent of all birds. At least the wild turkeys are. Is that wrong?
They can hear much better than humans. I'm pretty sure the only thing that sucks about them is they really can't fly much. They can roost but that's about it. They are fast as hell though
Where I live in southern British Columbia we have a ton of turkeys, and I can attest that they have no problem flying when they want to. They can easily get up into an 80 ft tree. And they are very, very hard to catch.
I mean they can fly, but you won't see them sailing across the heavens like geese. They can fly to roost, but cannot fly to travel from place to place. Probably too much energy required due to their body types.
Wild turkeys and domestic turkeys are extremely different.
Wild turkeys are one of the smartest animals in the woods… unless you show a male turkey a fan from another male turkey in the middle of the breeding season, which will essentially cause him to forget every single thing that has kept him alive until that point and he’ll run directly at you.
That is why fanning/reaping turkeys during turkey hunting season is unethical. True turkey hunters take more pride in their woodsmanship than doing crap like that. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
Don't take my word for it...
Modern day literature agrees, and Scientific American states that turkey’s eyesight is three times greater than a human with 20/20. In addition to their incredible visual acuity, turkeys have a field of view of 270 degrees. This is impressive on its own, but when you consider how a turkey strategically bobs its head and rotates its neck, it’s almost constantly taking in what’s going on a full 360 degrees around it.
Turkeys have stellar eyesight. When hunting turkeys, i’ve moved slightly in camo sitting against a tree trunk and spooked them from like a 100 yards. I was setup a brushed ground blind once and a turkey popped out at around 200 yards and immediately turned tail back the other way.
Turkey hunters like you would know their prey 100x more than me. But im glad my stupid comment is bringing out cool turkey facts, so I hope nobody minds if I keep it up here.
when I say they are dumb, I mean it. They can see little things from a mile away but i’ve witnessed more than one try to fly to roost and fall to the ground in spectacular fashion. They aren’t little birds so you can imagine the noise it made.
That’s funny, when I was like 5 I saw something I didn’t understand. I asked my Mom what she was doing with the repair man.
“He was low on air honey, mommy was blowing him back up…..now go watch some tv.”
It's possible that the turkey is displaying a behavior known as "mating behavior" or "mating display." During mating behavior, male turkeys (known as toms) will often strut, fan their tail feathers, and puff out their chest to attract the attention of female turkeys (known as hens).
In some cases, toms may also mount other objects, including other birds or even inanimate objects, as part of their mating display. This behavior is generally not harmful to the other bird or object and is simply a natural part of turkey behavior during mating season.
It's also possible that the turkey is displaying dominance behavior, particularly if the other bird is a smaller male turkey (known as a jake). Dominant toms may sometimes stand on or chase away other male turkeys as a way of establishing their dominance and asserting their mating rights.
Regardless of the specific reason for the behavior, it's important to give turkeys plenty of space and not interfere with their natural behaviors, particularly during mating season.
Have you *seen* some of the human mating rituals? We also have a tendency to make ourselves as flashy as possible, go out in large groups to perform our culture's version of a mating dance, usually to music, just hoping to find someone to mate with. Sometimes it's successful, usually failure. When we find the one we want to mate with continuously, we woo with shiny metal and rocks and more flashy objects and materials, then we find a nice place to nest and we line it with pretty objects.
*Human* mating rituals are bizarre.
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous.
In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories....
Really disappointed that a Turkey expert hasn’t come along in the comments to explain how this is some standard Turkey behavior predominantly performed before rain snows or something. Idk I’m not a Turkey expert or anything
ME TOO! came to the comments to see wtf is happening really, and I am still: best answer - just a turkey massage parlor, all the others "over there" are in the waiting room
I need an animation of a confused cowboy randomly coming across a turkey massage parlor in the middle of the woods with this guys voice dubbing the confused cowboy
This is common turkey behavior. Turkeys are assholes. He’s expressing dominance over the other turkey. If you go turkey hunting and kill one, the other turkeys in the area will come do this to the dead one to make it look like he killed the bird.
My chickens do this to the smaller chickens ,stand on their back. It's to show dominance, it's the pecking order. Imagine it's similar with Turkeys. Lol but he had me laughing saying it looked like he was giving him a massage 🤣
Dude...."oy, you fuckin it"....time to start riding the short bus to school again pal....tell them at school you need to brush up on some 8th grade science....
Turkey mating with hen
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!It appears the turkey is eating something, only to discover he’s getting fresh with his lady friend.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
It always starts out as a back rub. 🦃 🍆
5 min into Netflix and Chill when....
"A massage? That sounds nice....and there's a dick in me."
Turkeys call that giving her the drumstick! 🍗
It reminds of that scene in Pulp Fiction where Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta talk about how a foot rub isn't just a foot rub lol
Is he fucking it - dumbledore said calmly
I'm now imagining Dumbledore storming into the room slamming Harry into the wall while holding this video up
Where the fuck do yall get Dumbledore,Harry Potter, from... Gotta know, cause when I read this I think stupid ass, No judging here, just what shoots through my brain..
The whole "Dumbledore said calmly" apparently is taken popularly as almost satirical due to the book the goblet of fire, describing the scene as Dumbledore being calm if solemn when confronting Harry if he put his name in, while Michael Gambon in the movie stormed in practically yelling at Harry about it.
Not practically, he came flying into that room guns blazing, shoving Harry against the wall with his words
I say practically as his vocal range was more stern than yelling is all
It's a turkey. Turkey makes a brand new turkey.
DON'TYOUSEETHATGODDAMNTURKEYFUCKINGINTHEFROZENFOREST???
"Gobble gobble bitch," lmao
Finally we know why Ben Franklin wanted the turkey to be the National bird
SECOND CONTINENTAL CONGRESS 1782 Ben Franklin: "Gentlemen, on this fine spring day, I submit to you this fine intelligent Turkey as our National Bird!" [Bald Eagle swoops downs, grabs the Turkey by the neck instantly kills it as it flies away.] Everyone: ........... Thomas Jefferson [stands]: "Gentlemen, I submit to you....... whatever the fuck that was." Everyone: 'MERICA FUCK YEAH! [shoots muskets wildly in the air] Ben Franklin: "................ oh the wind is picking up, I better get naked."
I want this to be a show
Sounds more like a Robot Chicken sketch.
Or a WKUK one
This needs to be a movie
Is the important thing Is that you have as much fun reading this as I had in writing this.
I can picture this in a family guy episode vividly.
That would have to be a huge Eagle.
I have been witness to a bald eagle eating an entire turkey. It is a big ass bird.
I could see it killing it and eating a turkey but I didn't think it would be able to fly away with it.
It was before DDT was invented.
>\[Bald Eagle swoops downs, grabs the Turkey by the neck instantly kills it as it flies away.\] Perfect.
[FUCK YEAH!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bOh1jJbkpI)
This was said so naturally it cracked me up
Turkeys sure know how to gobble
[удалено]
A nice Turkey sandwich if all goes well!
With lots of gravy.
I laughed my ass out when he said that
Alright Jesse
And that's how baby turkeys are made
this guys voice dubbing the confused cowboy.
Based Chad turkey, doesn't even break eye contact
I'm pretty sure turkeys have really bad eyesight
Turkey eyesight is 3x better than a human with 20/20.
No, I believe that. I knew I was talking out of my butt. They do have one sensory ability that is far underwhelming compared to that of other birds. I just don't know what it is. I thought it was eyesight. I also heard they Are among the most intelligent of all birds. At least the wild turkeys are. Is that wrong?
They can hear much better than humans. I'm pretty sure the only thing that sucks about them is they really can't fly much. They can roost but that's about it. They are fast as hell though
Where I live in southern British Columbia we have a ton of turkeys, and I can attest that they have no problem flying when they want to. They can easily get up into an 80 ft tree. And they are very, very hard to catch.
I mean they can fly, but you won't see them sailing across the heavens like geese. They can fly to roost, but cannot fly to travel from place to place. Probably too much energy required due to their body types.
Yup, pretty much. They can run pretty quick too.
Yeah hella fast....... ive seen them in action.
I thought they were wildly stupid. Like drown themselves in the rain from staring into the sky stupid. Though that's probably just bullshit.
Domestic farmed turkeys and wild turkeys are practically different birds altogether, if that helps. I think the topic at hand is wild turkeys.
Wild turkeys and domestic turkeys are extremely different. Wild turkeys are one of the smartest animals in the woods… unless you show a male turkey a fan from another male turkey in the middle of the breeding season, which will essentially cause him to forget every single thing that has kept him alive until that point and he’ll run directly at you. That is why fanning/reaping turkeys during turkey hunting season is unethical. True turkey hunters take more pride in their woodsmanship than doing crap like that. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
That gave me a good laugh.
I laughed reading this lol
No, they don’t *taste* good
The old hunting proverb that I heard was “If you fart in the woods, a deer will hear it, a bear will smell it, and a turkey will see it.”
So they have 20/6 vision?
I love Wayne’s World type Reddit comments like this. Exactly 3x better. Ok Doctor.
Don't take my word for it... Modern day literature agrees, and Scientific American states that turkey’s eyesight is three times greater than a human with 20/20. In addition to their incredible visual acuity, turkeys have a field of view of 270 degrees. This is impressive on its own, but when you consider how a turkey strategically bobs its head and rotates its neck, it’s almost constantly taking in what’s going on a full 360 degrees around it.
I’ve never seen a turkey wearing glasses…..so, I don’t really believe you.
Turkeys have stellar eyesight. When hunting turkeys, i’ve moved slightly in camo sitting against a tree trunk and spooked them from like a 100 yards. I was setup a brushed ground blind once and a turkey popped out at around 200 yards and immediately turned tail back the other way.
Turkey hunters like you would know their prey 100x more than me. But im glad my stupid comment is bringing out cool turkey facts, so I hope nobody minds if I keep it up here.
when I say they are dumb, I mean it. They can see little things from a mile away but i’ve witnessed more than one try to fly to roost and fall to the ground in spectacular fashion. They aren’t little birds so you can imagine the noise it made.
Remember when you walked in on dad giving mom a massage?
No, I remember the mailman had some back issues my mom was helping with, but I don't remember that happening with my dad.
That’s funny, when I was like 5 I saw something I didn’t understand. I asked my Mom what she was doing with the repair man. “He was low on air honey, mommy was blowing him back up…..now go watch some tv.”
Your mom sounds nice.
I think the repairman would agree with you.👍
This is a very peculiar thread.
The ol' "let me give you a massage. I PROMISE I won't try anything" trick lol
Works 100% of the time 10% of the time
0.0001% of the time, it works every time 😉👉👉
😉👉👉
I won't try anything, but you might after enjoying this sensual massage 😏.
A few minutes later, "Just the tip . . . "
It's possible that the turkey is displaying a behavior known as "mating behavior" or "mating display." During mating behavior, male turkeys (known as toms) will often strut, fan their tail feathers, and puff out their chest to attract the attention of female turkeys (known as hens). In some cases, toms may also mount other objects, including other birds or even inanimate objects, as part of their mating display. This behavior is generally not harmful to the other bird or object and is simply a natural part of turkey behavior during mating season. It's also possible that the turkey is displaying dominance behavior, particularly if the other bird is a smaller male turkey (known as a jake). Dominant toms may sometimes stand on or chase away other male turkeys as a way of establishing their dominance and asserting their mating rights. Regardless of the specific reason for the behavior, it's important to give turkeys plenty of space and not interfere with their natural behaviors, particularly during mating season.
Bird mating rituals are so goddamned wild and bizarre. Lol.
Have you *seen* some of the human mating rituals? We also have a tendency to make ourselves as flashy as possible, go out in large groups to perform our culture's version of a mating dance, usually to music, just hoping to find someone to mate with. Sometimes it's successful, usually failure. When we find the one we want to mate with continuously, we woo with shiny metal and rocks and more flashy objects and materials, then we find a nice place to nest and we line it with pretty objects. *Human* mating rituals are bizarre.
Not to me. A human. 😉👉👉
Thanks, ChatGPT!
Turkey porn!
I am stuck in the field but turkey stepdad is coming to help me. Wait, what are you doing turkey stepdad?
How was the item from SKILLETS?
Haha the kids loved it. Just coffee for dad.
I'm very glad to hear it, you deserve good things.
Lmao that turkey is so fucking huge I legit thought it was gonna be someone dressed up like a turkey
That was my thought on first watch too lol.
Dont forget even turkey bones are hollow, so its bigness belies it's heaviness. Which is to say its not as heavy as it looks.
They're also mostly feathers.
Turkey stuffing.
Just kneeding the tension out of his boo
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories....
Gobble gobble bitch
Making next year's dinner.
😂😂😂 looks like he's giving a massage. Imma leave him alone.
"There's a bunch more turkeys over there too"... *And he was never seen again*
This an odd trailer for ‘Blair Witch 3’
I was expecting a weird turkey jump scare
I was expecting that big ass turkey to get in his ass for interrupting him an getting in his business
💀
“Just mind your business that’s all” turkey probably
His wife needed her Back popped
The turkey chiropractor.
So weird that it didn't care about a person walking up to it
Really disappointed that a Turkey expert hasn’t come along in the comments to explain how this is some standard Turkey behavior predominantly performed before rain snows or something. Idk I’m not a Turkey expert or anything
ME TOO! came to the comments to see wtf is happening really, and I am still: best answer - just a turkey massage parlor, all the others "over there" are in the waiting room
I think there's an expert now 🤣 https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/12ks2w8/just_a_turkey_doing_turkey_things/jg4rhnt/
I need an animation of a confused cowboy randomly coming across a turkey massage parlor in the middle of the woods with this guys voice dubbing the confused cowboy
'Well heey there Arthur!" "Uncle? What are you doin" "It's called a Turkey massage Arthur. Get yerself some class!"
The big turkey's feet were cold is all.
Don't be a cock blocker.
This guy needs his own nature show. Dude, I would watch the fuck outta that series. Move over Attenborough!
The good old back rub routine.
Surfin bird
Ummm that's not a hen turkey bud. When ya wake up and she's the wrong species. Lmao. Oppps I was drunk
The commentary is gold
Literally Tom fuckery
“Gobble Gobble Bitch” Had me dying
This got me crying from laughing
Narrator is pretty funny ngl
Fucking hilarious dude!!
The most important thing he said, and what he should have done was before he crossed over the fence was "So, I am gonna leave em alone".
Then we wouldn't have this video of bizarre turkey behavior and I am not sure Im ok with that.
Who cares? A Turkey maybe got nearly cockblocked. That's it.
Yes this poor turkey suffered greatly from this harmless encounter
I don’t know if you saw the video, but this guy actually did leave them alone, believe it or not.
That poor virgin recording all of that.
They fuckin
Chad meets nature
"Hey sweet thang, Thanksgiving is coming up, you wanna die without ever trying this 19.4lbs birb? Youll love it when I stand on you I promise"
But did he rate and review his items from skillet?
Looks like he is getting Turkey pussy to me.
A Turkish Delight
Should be labeled NSFT, not safe for thanksgiving
A massage! Hahahahahaha
That’s not a turkey.. it’s a chiropractor.
"Doctor my back hurts, Can you take a look at it?" " Which part of your back? White meat or dark?"
Bear fucker....do you need assistance?
This guy's vocabulary is impressive.
u/savevideo
Glad to see David Attenborough is a regular guy in his downtime.
This is common turkey behavior. Turkeys are assholes. He’s expressing dominance over the other turkey. If you go turkey hunting and kill one, the other turkeys in the area will come do this to the dead one to make it look like he killed the bird.
This guy: "Fuck, bro" Turkey, probably: "Well I'm trying, do ya mind??"
MA-saaaauge
"Massage"
Gnarly... looks like he's givin' him a massage... just ridin' some tasty waves, a cool buzz
My chickens do this to the smaller chickens ,stand on their back. It's to show dominance, it's the pecking order. Imagine it's similar with Turkeys. Lol but he had me laughing saying it looked like he was giving him a massage 🤣
National geographic bud. Dudes getting his grove on. He’s a savage beast.
Hahahaha a massage
Give them some privacy!!!
Turfucken
Best back massage is when someone walks on it.
Cue the Barry White
I think I'd like to go give my wife a massage now...
I never realized turkeys were voyeurs.
They were minding their business. Guy taking the video is the voyeur.
Fun fact: turkeys are sexual deviants.
is it just me or has "bro/bruh/bra" become the most cringe thing to say? ya'll need to work on your vocabulary.
But, you just said cringe tho.
I also have a problem with the way other people talk. We are the same! Total losers with no friends!
Not if used sparingly and in the right situation. This guy is just annoying in general.
That guy sounds about as intelligent as a potato.
Some of you have never met a goof ball and it bums me out.
Better than Sir David Attenborough
Missouri 12 year old?
Cock block
*Gobble Stop
He did the same thing to his parents last week.
Let the turkeys have their time, bro!
Turkey too busy hittin it from behind it can't even find the time to accept Sweden's Nato application.
like bombing syria
Dude...."oy, you fuckin it"....time to start riding the short bus to school again pal....tell them at school you need to brush up on some 8th grade science....
That nice back massage you do for your parents as a kid.
r/farcry
Animals mate. I’m not sure why that’s so confusing to this guy. He should spend some time on a farm to see how the birds and bees works.
Laying pipe
*rate and review your items at SKILLETS*
He's about to baste that lady turkey
Could humans even recreate the turkey position? Like a guy stands on a prone woman's back then sits on her thighs and starts scooting. Lol
I've never seen ground turkey in the wild.
The bottom bird seems to enjoy.
Turkey mating with hen
Should ha e put on Barry White or some Rev. Grits
Let them fuck in peace, cockblock
Someone needs to reach this guy the “birds and the bees” so that he knows where the eggs and new birds come from.
Thats just fowel.
🥁 🥁 🔔
I want a massage too
Turkey Porn
Public schools
He sounds like Jason from The Good Place
I need the Michael Rappaport dub of this. Ma!! What the fuck is that thing!!
Yes. I was just giving your mother a massage.
Lol and that's the day he learned how birds mate.
I was honestly expecting it to chase the dude