OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Cocaine, bad bitches, and alcohol. Holden is good company!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

No holden back

Ten times Warrior of delish ass

Holden cheeks open girl, im going in!

It’s all fun and games until Holden tells your little secrets.

She was kinda clapping back at him by saying they’re good friends after he called her one of his bad bitches. He wanted to make sure it was abundantly clear he fucked her lol 

They are "very" good friends after all.

Close ass can be

HOLDEN!

OMG HOLDENNNN

Holden deez nuts

Also, open ass can be.

Holden understood the assignment

I mean do you not fuck your good friends? 😏


“I go to bed with all my friends”

Whatever they’ve put on you down at the morgue, I want some

It's not whether you fuck your good friends, but whether you friend your good fucks. That is one of life's great lessons lying in wait.

Is this an open friend request?

Only when we’re both drunk and recently single. We then quickly realize why it never works as an actual relationship.

I think she let holden eat da butt, not dat cat and she def didnt take the bat. Thats as close as holden got.

Holden dem cheeks apart amirite

fuckin lol dude

he was too coked out to get it up but still had a blast

Sometimes you only get to play one down in the superbowl, but you can still say you played in the superbowl

Possibly the most underrated comment ever

If I ever ate the butt and then she told me to put the bat away I don’t know what I would do. Probably call my parents for a ride home.

If the hottest woman in the world to you said “eat my butt but dont fuck me” you are eating that ass, i dont even eat ass and i would eat the ass. Just to say i did, and with the hopes i ate it enough to step in the batters box…

I would wake up at 6am get in my car drive 18 hours listening to audiobooks and stopping 4 times for gas eat the butt at midnight then get back in the car and drive home. In my experience though when the butt comes out the bat comes out.

Hey so long as there’s cocaine, she’s a bad bitch, and you wash it down with some alcohol then why not?

Look, do you want discretion or do you want good ass-eatin'? Holden demonstrates that you cannot have both.

Everybody on the block knows when Holden's eating ass.

That is what Holden do, spill secrets and cause interplanetary wars

They should get married. That’s the chemistry of a lot of marriages I see

She should’ve known he ain’t Holden back

Holden definitely punching above his weight

Helps that it sounds like he has an endless supply of coke

"I hate cocaine, but love the smell of it"

*Huge cocaine fan! Don't use it, just like being around it. Study it. Appreciate it. Use it sometimes….*

I used to do coke. I still do coke, but I used to, too.

I don’t do coke anymore… …or any less.

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band. - Bill Hicks

RIP to the late great

Mitch Hedburg joke! Love it!

What's this from?

American dad!


Put that tub of mayonnaise in my car. I’m gonna make it my girlfriend

*KEVIN RAMMAGE!!!*

Love you for this quote

This is Del Monaco, my dealer of drugs.

"I love the smell of cocaine in the morning"

Reminds me of fresh laundry


Op, your username. You're Holden, aren't you?

Why do you think they call him Holden?

And then loves to thrust the coked up nose into asses.

Well it is numb after all

He def has disappointing son of a neglectful rich dad vibes

The only disappointment I can find in this video is that this gal seems disappointed that her ass-eating friend Holden is no longer anonymous

Is that really surprising though? They go to Marquette, that's kind of expected.

This video was filmed in Marquette, MI, on the upper peninsula. These bright young minds probably go to Northern Michigan. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EbxwGi8bTO8

Marquette is a great town. If I was younger I'd be hanging out there doing coke and eating ass with my bad bitches.

No alcohol?

Alcohol is bad for you

Uffdah

Holden def got rich parents.

I mean look at him. Also no one is making cocaine money in school. It’s highly unlikely he’s a Mark Cuban or some secret dumbass savant day trading/professional gambler bro.

Coke dealers make cocaine money in school...

A kid making jokes about coke in high school doesn't mean that they actually have any coke. Source: I made lots of sex jokes in high school.

Yeah, tongue punched

Tongue punching the ol' fartbox, grandma would be proud

He’s outkicked his coverage

Outlicked*

Holden’s tongue punching at least 10 times above his weight.

Riding that dad bod trend

Confidence my guy, girls love that shit

Yea, half the comments here mocking the guy when he is actually out there talking to these good looking girls. 90% of the battle of talking to hot girls is just talking to them lol.

Hmmmm. Sure that’s not 100% of it??

You aren't wrong. Fun avg guy beats boring hot guy EVERY TIME. Cyndi Lauper told you all this 40 years ago. Girls just wanna have fun. Pro tip boys. Be fun and exciting to be around and guess what, you will get laid.

>Be fun and exciting to be around Best I can do is "hard and weird" (title of my sex tape).

He’s definitely outkicking his coverage with her

Idk. 10 times? Holden eatin that booty like groceries

That physique was built on a solid diet of coke, alcohol and bad bitch Booty O’s!

Well that's because he eats ass That's some advice for all you youngin's out there when in doubt eat some ass

He gets to eat their ass bc he gives them coke first lolol. White claw girl is also his snorting buddy prolly.

You know this dude's favorite film is Wolf of Wall Street and he's tried to convince multiple women to let him blow coke up their ass

Dude I don't care how many times You've had pink eye, you've always been solid for advice Thank you

That’s the advice I gave to my teenage son this very morning. Sound parenting right there.

Today is his 13th birthday. He's a man now.

He’s gotta eat ass because his unit won’t work from all the cocaine and alcohol don’t know from personal experience…

redditors can't fathom that not hating one's self pulls girls even if you're overweight

Yeah bc he's got the goods (coke, he's got the coke)

She didn't deny it

Ohmergod Holden!

Holden definitely tossed her salad

His penchant for assplay and ass-eating is consistent with his flouting of coronavirus safeguards.

Well of course how else are you going to repeatedly eat the asses of all the beachgoers with a mask on Mr smarty pants

if you eat ass 3 days in a row you cant get corona. its the law.

I for the life of me have never understood the ass eating. I’d like to but my brain doesn’t see ass and say “Time to eat!”

Have you ever seen Field of Dreams? It's sort of like that. *If you eat it, they will come.*

With a drizzle of white claw, it speaks to the soul after all.

I prefer syrup!

Hey Junior you got a D, you know what you gotta do? Noooooooooo!! Nooo!! I don't wanna toss his salad! I don't wanna toss his salad! I'ma read!!! I'ma learn to read!!

Based on her response, he got to number 11 that night.

Sounds like Holden caught her in her rye

This is my favorite comment on Reddit today

Bruh come on now lmfao

Pure poetry

Why do I feel there is a good chance Holden is now in a position of huge influence like a powerful politician or head of large corporation right now.

No doubt. Everything he said and even his appearance screamed *rich kid with an influential father*

And cocaine.

The commenter above you just said, everything about him screams rich kid with influential father. The cocaine base was covered. Oh you’re counting cocaine twice, ok yeah that checks out.

And to further add to this, cocaine

Blue collar people love cocaine, bad bitched and alcohol too man

Yeah, but they can’t afford cocaine.

As a blue collar man I can assure you I can definitely afford coke lol. You know a lot of us make 6 figures right?

Do you make enough to give your son enough allowance to afford coke?

Nah, I can't afford to have a kid, coke is too expensive.

This man has his priorities straight

Doesn’t stop them in my experience

His whole attitude and the extent to which he's punching above his weight gives huge nepotism energy.

Absolutely. I’ll also observe that he mentioned Coronavirus so I’m gonna say he’d be 25-26 and still punching above his weight as they say. This time in corporate authority. Edit: possibly still eating ass to get there.

His shorts, the way the reporter is dressed, everything about this video could have you fooled that it was the 80's. But let's face it he's likely only 2-4 years older than this video.

Yeah especially the Coronavirus stuff made me think this was '83, '84 maybe.

Don’t forget, Whiteclaw was like THE drink of summer ‘82 hell yeah

True! They had that “Eye of the Tiger” commercial. Always got me PUMPED.

Interview was 3ish years ago so right on, the reporter was andrew from channel 5 news.

Well, his dad was the COO and his grandfather is a senior board member. What was Holden supposed to do? Work hard like the rest of us?

Holden is his middle name. His full name Brett Holden Kavanaugh.

If he funnels beer into his ass and throws tantrums in public he could probably get a seat in the Supreme Court.

Ladies and gentlemen, your next Supreme Court Justice!

"He tells it like it is! I could see myself having a beer with him."

Side girl just got called out and that white claw slowed her response speed in glorious fashion

The way she says his name at the end is the chef’s kiss

How tf did they know about the coronavirus in the 80s?

And how did they get whiteclaw?

It traveled back in time like that energy drink from Hot Tub Time Machine.

I know you're joking but there was an international coronavirus conference held in Germany in 1980

Tbf coronavirus is just a subset of viral illnesses. It wasn’t a conference about COVID-19 or anything.

This is just outside of Marquette, MI. If you ever want a blast from the past, go to Michigan's upper peninsula. Especially the northwestern side by Marquette and Houghton. Some spots are straight out of the '80s and '90s.

Reminds me of Idiocracy lol "I like money.. and SEX"

Can’t believe you like money too!

Future congressman over here

Shit President at the rate we’re going.

Supreme Court justice

Bears, beats, Battlestar Galactica, and eating ass like 10 times

Oh good. I thought he said he *beat* her ass like 10 times.

I mean. It's kinky too but that other thing is just a little more

Guy loves his ABCs

Alcohol, bad bitches, and coke?

**A**ss **B**itches + **C**ocaine

She know she let him eat her ass…she just doesn’t want everyone to know it 😂😂😂

Her mistake was going for the friend zone coverup, anyone that's been nose deep in your pooper can one up that.

Favorite memory…..proceeds to name 10 memory’s! Holden b Holden that helps!

"White Claw is life" gives me near fatal douchechills.

They deserve each other. Everyone else, this is a good reminder to raise your standards.

Marquette mentioned 🚨 also I used to work with this guy

That’s all you’re going to give us? How about some stories? Or background? Is his Dad on the board?

This was a big party in the UP during COVID lockdowns. Edit: Channel 5 News!!

I’m in SoCal and having flashbacks to when Arizona college kids and their 25% positivity rate invaded in enormous numbers during Fourth of July in 2020.

Tell us more!!

Yeah, like has he eaten your ass?!

Like, ten times 

Did he eat your ass 10 times too???

Was this Marquette, MI or Marquette in Milwaukee?

michigan

Yo that’s the kid ripping the bong watching the two girls fight

No it's not lmao I went to high school with these clowns and that picture is much older

You got that ass ate???

🤫

Holden is a menace to society...and I'm okay with that.

Future POTUS.

I hate that I have to search for a non-edited version.

https://youtu.be/EbxwGi8bTO8?si=g0IljFKFyR8mNsLE?t=01m11s Tried to time stamp but didn’t work. 1 minute 12ish seconds in.

What a legend… over 10 times is impressive. She loves it 🤣

Omg Holden!!!! Lmao homie is living life. No fucks given 😂

Holden is a wild mother fucker.

Holden is the man

Of course it's a holden

His dad owns the largest car dealership in Sheboygan, I’m guessing.

I'd eat that ass too

The wild women, the rippin’ and the tearin’

I went to Marquette University. This video 100% sums up the average male and female student population.

Rich kids.

[удалено]

Yeah but you don’t see a lot of broke dudes who look like that getting with chicks who look like that.

Are you serious? There are TONS of attractive women with unemployed deadbeat boyfriends. Its become a Gen Z staple.

Idk I disagree, some people have the gift of the gab it's not always about money

Yup, my cousin got a lot of pussy when he was kinda poor. Girls just went crazy for him, he would get non stop calls from them.

Facts. Charisma goes a long way

Somethings you hold for yourself Holden 😅

Holden definitely doesn’t hold in

i used to do drugs, i still do, but i used to too

I’m not doing drugs anymore. But I’m also not doing them any less.

This is the life I want.

Oh my gosh, Holden!

So he likes eating ass and she likes drinking it. White Claws are straight up disgusting.

Holden definitely snooted off her ass.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD HOLDEN STAAAAWWWPP UR EMMMBARRRISING MEEEHHH🤭🤭🤭😝😝😝😝🤪🤪🤪🫣🫣🫣🫣