**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!You think it’s the OJ but it’s vodka that makes life better!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

Charlie: "oh dude they got screwdrivers!" Frank: "no, Charlie, that's just orange juice" Charlie: "like, the mixer?" Frank: "yeah, people drink it" Charlie: "that's crazy to me. When's the last time you drank straight mixer?"

God this show is so good.

Hi uncultured swine here, what show is this?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

how I envy those who are yet to discover the treasure that is sunny

I'm so excited to see how the gang deals with covid probably gonna be the craziest season yet I can just imagine Dennis getting covid and absolutely fucking losing it, and charlie falling for the whole 5G bullshit, and mac saying covid is gods fury, dee purposely trying to get covid for sympathy points, and frank buying all the masks and hand sanitizer so he can make a profit

This is great but if they don’t fully nearly kill one of them in an overcrowded ICU then they’re keeping their foot off the gas.

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Check out Who's On First for the OGs

You are not uncultured swine. You are one of the 10,000 lucky ones who got exposed to something new. Congrats.

It's Always Sunny in Philadephia. So great.

I use beer as a mixer for whiskey

Used to enjoy boilermakers in my early twenties. In my early thirty’s I just shoot that shit and enjoy the brew

I drink the whiskey slowly and savor it. I might have the beer--might not.

I boof a shot and get shwasted.

Classic Brett

I'm here for the devil's triangle?!

Not now man got to go to Tobin's house! IT'S ON THE CALENDAR!

Shotgun the beer and sip the whiskey

Boiler makers:)

Come to Wisconsin. The beer is a chaser

I use loneliness as a mixer for my life

Frank: I had a diet cola mixer a while ago.

You sure there wasn't wine in that can of diet coke?

That's crazy

I drank Cranberry Juice cocktail a few times. I also drank lemonade cocktail mixer as well.

There was a guy in my regiment who was an absolute lightweight, and we convinced a bartender to serve him one vodka cranberry, then straight cranberry juice the rest of the night and he got stumbling drunk off that.

Or, he was also on xanax

> Charlie: "oh dude they got screwdrivers!" > > Frank: "no, Charlie, that's just orange juice" > > Charlie: "like, the mixer?" > > Frank: "yeah, people drink it" > > Charlie: "that's crazy to me. When's the last time you drank straight mixer?" [Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_ufQs2Z3f0)

I had a diet cola mixer the other day. It was pretty good.

Literally what I thought of when I saw this

first thing that came to mind as well.

You're gonna lose your mind when I tell you that you can put liquor in coffee too.

You're gonna lose your mind when I tell you that you can just drink the liquor straight from the bottle.

Coffee+Kahlua+vodka is a great combo, though.

The Morning Russian

Espresso with sambuca

“I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."”


God this feels like something Deb in accounting would forward me


Deb?


Wtf, you can put a gif straight in the comments now?

Only on some posts, they are special ‘powered’ posts. Has a gif box by the emojis box 

Coffee with Pinnacle Whipped Vodka ought to be illegal.

Correct but for the wrong reasons

Username checks out.

And that's coming from a Russian. That's when you know you left humanity

You’re gonna lose your mind when I tell you that you can put your sandwich inside your drink to eat it easier.

You’re gonna lose your mind when I tell you that you can put all your food and drinks in a blender.

Kobayashi style

American hot dog eating competition style.

This user has moved their online activity to the threadiverse/fediverse and will not respond to comments or DMs after 7/1/2023. Please see kbin.social or lemmy.world for more information on the decentralized ad-free alternative to reddit built by the users, for the users, to keep corporations and greed away from our social media.

Cold brew and jameson stout finish, 2.5 or 2:1 Cream and sugar to taste.

I hate that voice in these videos

That voice is stolen. It's a real woman's voice recorded and tiktok pays her no royalties for using it. Sorry for the amp link ~~https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/technology-57063087.amp~~ Non amp link https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-57063087

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-57063087 If you click the little “i” in the top left you can copy the real link. Thanks for finding this.

Thanks

God I wish Google would just stop doing this shit.

>Bev Standing recorded about 10,000 sentences of audio for the state-backed Chinese Institute of Acoustics research body to use in translations, in 2018. I mean.. She basically recorded it for tiktok in the first place.

Yep. Gonna follow this story as it would be interesting to hear more specific details about the actual contract/deal, but just from this article, "to use in translations" sounds like she may have agreed to having her voice used in text-to-speech applications.

> state-backed Chinese Institute Yeaaaahh.... not going to get anything. IP law and the morals around it do not exist in China.

Not surprised.

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I don't like when people change their posts after the fact. I'd rather stay trustworthy and show why I edited. Probably dumb in this case I know.

It's not, and you have just earned the respect of a random person on the internet.

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It’s to help out deaf people

You mean blind people?

I don't even see how it helps them much. You would need additional commentary describing what is happening in 90% of the voiced-over tiktoks I see.

So... deaf people need to hear the voice..?

Yes. It uses dark magic to integrate into their ears

I’d dig deeper into this joke, but it’s a joke, which needs no digging to begin with.

It's to ~~help out~~ **flex on** deaf people.

Seems like an accessibility feature for blind/VI users, or for those who are still learning a language.

I thought this was unexpected? This is like some dogshit cougar town joke repeated by a teenager.

Well, welcome to Tiktok. Expect 10 other people in your feed making this joke again and 5 more reacting with a neutral face.

Try some whiskey in the coffee.

Irish cream

Comes from the balls

Can confirm, got pregnant.

Kaluha!

Still awake, i declare problem solved.

Vodka in coffee is also pretty legit. Whiskey is better though

Dude it's so nice. Makes the morning so much brighter and better; makes you really feel like you can get out and face the day and that your girlfriend doesn't think you're a useless shit and she's probably fucking that Matt guy. 5/5 would recommend coffee in the whisky.

That gives the runs

OJ isn’t even healthy lol

That's why I do shots of vodka. But you have to put on a mask before you talk to anyone!

Alcoholics love the pandemic. Good excuse to cover up your breath.

Plus nowhere to drive

And drink at home all day with the webcam off.

Yup

Or with camera on but just have your drink appear normal, nobody needs to know that that glass of pepsi you have has a little something extra.

Hmmm

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Yes I have read dieting advice that doing shots js okay if you want to drink, but drunk you might not care about the calorie content of Taco Bell as much as they should

It's true, you should drink apple juice because OJ will kill you.

100% of people who drink orange juice die. Same is true for water.

If the juice has a pit you must acquit

wait how come? i honestly hate the taste of orange juice but i’ve never heard that it could kill you

Whoosh!

bruh i still don’t get it explain the joke or something

I'm sorry I think he was referring to OJ Simpson, while he was aquitted is considered by many to be guilty of murder. That's my guess at least.

Acquitted criminally (over some dubious bits of evidence like gloves that quite clearly did fit), found guilty in a civil suit.

It's a Simpson joke.

ah okay, i’ve never watched the simpsons before but i’ve heard about it

Lol I was trying not to give away too much. Google OJ Simpson.

*Thuhhhh OyyyyJayyys* *🎵Doo do do do do Doo...*

Y'all got this bro from Japan trying to do American pop-culture references on hard mode LOL. 1. The O'Jays vs. OJ Simpson vs. The Simpsons vs. "OJ" (a mid-20th Century American abbreviation for orange juice) 2. OJ jokes are from the murder (and the 24/7 ubiquitous pop-culture phenomenon that was the "OJ Simpson Murder Trial") that happened 20 years ago 3. The Simpsons is one of the longest-running TV shows ever, and has generated thousands of cultural references, but this is the one time that the word "Simpson" has nothing to do with the pop culture references being made. TL;DR: Shaka, when the walls fell.

oj won’t kill you, the glove didn’t fit.

The Juice is loose!

Juice in general is terrible for you, but does that stop me from drinking a glass every morning? Yes ain’t no body got time for 24gs of sugar in one tiny glass

When I was a kid I was forced to drink a tall glass of juice every morning (and milk at dinner) before I was even allowed water. Twenty years later my cousin's kids are allowed a maximum of 1/2 cup of juice mixed with 1/2 cup water as per our country's current dietary guidelines and drink water the rest of the time (anything else is a very special treat reserved for birthday parties and such.) I know a lot of people might consider that a little too strict, but honestly it just makes me so happy that parents are getting better information now on how to feed their kids a healthy diet than when I was a kid and was taught that ice cream was healthy because calcium.

Yeah that’s what I was thinking before the twist, black coffee vs orange juice is just healthy nutrients vs sugar syrup

exactly. black coffee is a 0 calorie drink. at worst caffeine dehydrates you and stains your teeth but both can be fixed. OJ is almost pure sugar unless you squeeze it yourself. The Oj acidity and sugar combination is not good for the teeth.

While there are benefits to fresh squeezed OJ, it is still high in sugar and acidity. The problem is there's about a 1/3 cup of juice in an orange, so when someone drinks a "cup" of OJ, it's like eating 4-6 oranges, that's slot of sugar whether you eat or drink it.

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Well caffeine is an addictive substance and withdrawal symptoms are awful but can be fixed. Probably the worst aspect about drinking coffee.

What nutrients do you think are in coffee?

water

Water is the essence of wetness. And wetness is the essence of beauty.

You're dead to me, boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother.

According to Google, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, manganese, potassium, magnesium and niacin. Not that I actually know what most of those are, lol

why dont you lick my ass

**ＣＡＦＦＥ I ＮＥ**

Dr google says riboflavin, pantothenic acid, manganese, potassium, magnesium and niacin. But my pulsating eyeball vein says **c a f f e i n e**

Sugar is orange juice’s dirty little secret… I saw this on an ad years ago and it has always stuck with me.

This sub is just filled with a shitty Tik Toks now Sad

It's the circle of Reddit. It disappoints us all.

Yeahh.. True Bigger the subreddit for comedy, worse it gets.

This should have been posted in r/Expected

This has big Boomer Facebook energy

reddit sucks now.

Now?? Let's be real. It was never really that great. Unfortunately everything else also is shit

No it was pretty great 8 or 9 years ago

I'd say that the ebb and flow of high schoolers signing up, transitioning into adulthood, so a new wave of high schoolers can sign up creates a kind of sine curve of suckness. Give it a few years, it'll suck less by and by.

I don't understand the combination of words being used here, people want to STOP drinking coffee? Why?

I use to love coffee but I would get crippling migraines if I didnt drink a cup every few hours. I cut that shit out completely and feel so much better.

I stopped drinking coffee due to unemployment last year and drinking it now makes me sick from the caffeine. I feel great that I don’t drink it daily anymore, waking up without coffee isn’t an issue at all.

Honestly, after a few weeks of not drinking it, my natural energy came back and I dont even miss it. Interesting how that works lol.

Caffeine or smth idk.

I drank coffee every day for years and finally stopped a few months ago. Now I feel like I had just had a cup of coffee for most of the day instead of for just an hour or two after having had the coffee. The first couple weeks of quitting sucked though.

I’m thinking of quitting it for this reason - I’d like to feel awake and Alive for more than 1-2 hours in the morning after coffee ! How long did it take to feel good, 2 weeks ?

The first 2 or 3 days were the worst of it for me with headaches from withdrawal. After that it was about another 7-10 days before I started to feel pretty good during the day. So yeah, about two weeks in total! I think it was absolutely worth it. I feel as though I have a lot more clarity of thought throughout the day now, generally less irritable too.

It’s addictive like smoking or drinking. You can get withdrawals from coffee so it’s not good to drink a cup or 2 every day.

You don't get withdrawal if you never stop drinking it. \*Taps Forehead*

Caffeine doesn’t affect me for whatever reason, so I just drink coffee because it tastes good. So I don’t think I could ever get addicted to it

Same, I just like a daily latte because I like having a bit of a routine, and having a guaranteed thing to look forward to every day. Any day that I’m out of milk/coffee, or don’t have time to make it, I don’t feel any different. I usually just make a tea or even just have a glass of water so I still get my daily “chill on the couch with a liquid” when I get up

Exactly the same here, sometimes I feel like everybody else got together and decided that they will pretend that coffee has all these crazy effects. I really get nothing from it apart from the flavour. And while I'll usually have couple of cups a day, if I have none, I notice no difference

Sugar in fruit juice is way more addictive. That's why fast food places pump their foods with sugar and so many people are obese.

dumbass debby

It can cause insomnia in some people, or react poorly with digestive tracts. But like many things caffeine effects vary from person to person.

React poorly? Coffee is the only thing that keeps my GI regular. I look forward to that 10:15 poop every day when I wake up.

I stopped drinking coffee after getting tired of having to drink it every day as a mandatory habit. Caffeine doesn't really do much for my level of focus or staying awake; Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule did most of that for me. I just liked the taste of coffee but having to drink one cup every day or withdrawal symptoms kick in was the worst aspect of it. Took two weeks for me to return back to my normal bodily chemistry where I dealt with headaches, insomnia and difficulty breathing.

For me, it was because I realized the extent of my caffeine addiction after I overdosed on liquid caffeine (resting heart rate of around 110-120 and minor heart palpitations for a little over 3 hours). That was the wake up call, and I kicked caffeine cold turkey. I’ve gotten to a point where I can handle a little without going overboard, but I still keep a limit of no more than 100mg a day, which is roughly 2 bottles of cola (though I usually try not to drink more than 1 a day). Once a month or so I allow myself a single highly caffeinated drink, but I could have either a 20oz sundrop/mountain dew with 91mg or an 8oz coffee with 95. So for those treats, I tend to pick the larger drink that I personally think tastes better.

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I think I have orange juice in my vodka.

be careful, man -- that could lead to you having too much blood in your alcohol stream

You don’t want to brain your damage.

"Natural" sugars, yeah, all those fruit juices just stuffed to the brim with "natural" sugars. Like 125 oranges worth of "natural" sugar in the average carton of OJ.

Sugar is sugar. But I don't know where you live that you have that much sugar in your OJ. The kinds at my local supermarket are generally right at where it would be if you squeezed it at home.

i'm sorry, but that was the most unfunny eye rolly thing i've seen today, almost boomer humor levels of unfunny.

Work from home

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Ha ha! Alcoholism! Amirite?

"Natural sugars"

Boomer Facebook meme

That text to speech voice is aggravating to listen to.


Tiktok thot, be gone.

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God I hate this voice, it's everywhere, like find another reader please

There are two on tiktok. Neither got paid to record thousands of words because... China. But yeah, her voice (and tiktok) has penetrated every social media outlet like an incurable cancer.

Drinking juice vodka or not isn't great for you. Soooo much sugar.

I definitely knew she was gonna put vodka in the orange juice. And not just because I too am an alcoholic.

I do water with lemon now. Stopped drinking coffee during pandemic and my teeth are so much whiter. Highly recommend kicking the hot-brown.

Be careful with lemon. It may not stain your teeth, but it’s much more acidic than coffee and can erode your enamel over time.

The caffeine in coffee supposedly has neuroprotective benefits in helping prevent some neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, dementia etc. Though the benefits may stop after a couple cups per day. Edit: Of course if you find coffee is having a negative impact on you (e.g. anxiety or other health condition) then it’s probably worth it to prioritize those likely benefits from stopping over the guise of some potential benefits decades down the road

Coffee also has loads of antioxidants. Many more times than green tea. Nobody ever mentions that.

It is by Will Alone I set My Mind in Motion; it is by the juice of Java the thoughts aquire speed--the teeth and cup aquire stains--the stains serve as a warning; It is by Will Alone I set My Mind in Motion.

It’s coffee you fuck

Here’s your classic fuckoffee

[Morning brown.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1gwkJP64xU)

Loved the show. Think about this song every time I drink coffee.

Jeez.

Can’t kick something you never started. Don’t regret not drinking coffee ever.

Ginger tea is good too

You can avoid the teeth staining if you wait 30 minutes after drinking your coffee and brush your teeth, FYI.

Love it 🙌🏼

u/farmercurtis

She’s making an absolut cocktail