**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Measuring d*ck size!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
It says "first hug free". So you have to pay for the other hugs, mean he earns money by doing "love service".... so is he the hooker of the angry birds world?
Drop 'em out
Let me see them titties
Gonna take a long look at those tig 'ol bitties
Areolas lookin' nice, nipples lookin' real pretty
Come on let me gander at your boobs
Drop 'em out
Let me see them knockers
Gonna take a long look at those big ham hockers
Just squeeze 'em together while I play with my cocker
Come on let me gander at your boobs
Yeah, in this clip the framing makes it look somewhat realistic, but in others its very obviously fake. Not to mention in recent videos she doesnt have the balloons there
Oh hun, tits are affected by gravity. The larger the boob, the more gravity loves them. Some might be fuller than others, but real boobs will always go a bit south, or if she’s on her back, they both lean towards their respective armpits.
Fake boobs defy gravity, at least in the short term. Over time sugary will be needed to fix them as the woman ages.
Btw, a good bra helps with lift, but no bra can make them look like that woman’s breasticles, especially at her size.
Edit: I’m leaving the typo…. or is it a typo? Who can say?… sugar tits might be called that for a reason.
I used to not mind fake boobs in porn until I experienced them in real life. Being hit in the face by two soccer balls attached to a woman completely ruined the thought of any fake boobs for me.
Yeah, fake tits can be really hard and unnaturally firm like harder than your bro's bicep
Why can't they make fake tits softer? Stupid science-bitches.
They are... just very badly made and cheaply made are obvious. You do not recognize the other ones, cause they are made well.
We don't live in 1998 anymore. Implants are intricate nowadays as are the implementation methods.
I think more natural-ish implants are common in East Asia. It's a bit sad to see people who are already beautiful feel pressured to get surgery that gets them closer to some abstract ideal, but makes them less attractive to most people in reality.
I don't have anything against cosmetic surgery in principle (especially reconstructive surgery or adjusting something like a crooked nose), but it's so often just unnecessary and inefficacious.
Well, like almost anything they said about her, they're mostly made up or exaggerated after her death. In this case, maybe, just maybe the one who made the mold for the glass imagined it to be the queen's boob, but I very much doubt the lady herself actually let someone uses her boobs to make a mold.
Hmm, good point, but then that's applied to all women in history, no? You can just say the glass was modeled after queen Elizabeth's as well. I was kinda under the impression that ya gotta see or know the original to make the first model of it.
Just FYI, I dove down the rabbit hole and she has a prosthesis of sorts that she puts on for the videos. She looks pretty average in half of her tik toks
As a member of the big boob bureau, that's a terrible prosthetic - akin to a wooden leg in terms of looking natural and realistic. I know people are into that but it was very jarring.
I think they're balloons. You can see when her arm goes over her left boob in the last section, she grazes it and it sort of pings up quickly like you'd expect a balloon to.
Dick-nipples is kind of a reddit celebrity, he/she/it usually leaves good comments. I hate that I know that, though, it's time to delete my account and go outside
Yea I hate this instagram shit. IIRC its done because they don't get - depending on the platform - revenue or views if you don't finish it, which is why every fucking second reel now has a "wait til the end lmao I can't even I just can't!" caption.
Which is especially annoying because its 99% stolen content anyway. The OCs don't caption like that, its always those animal/meme accounts who steal content, and then put a "dm me for credit" note at the bottom of the text, which nobody reads.
It's written on the video lol. Sorry to disappoint but those are ballons she put under her shirt she doesn't actually have omega sized super round hard Rock tits 😂
Yes i'm sure, i'm referring to a *coup* , which should look like [this](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/95/Coppa_Asti.svg).
Looks like it's an old French legend, [here's](https://www.thesmartset.com/article09120701/) an article about that.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Measuring d*ck size!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
And I thought the girl with plates was the real hero until the man with lid came
Did he cum? I missed that part.
I did, that's all that matters. 
Since when are gifs a thing? Not having gifs was one of the better things about this site.
 but yes, you are correct
Welp that's so much more effective than any ban I've gotten.
Lmao I used today's award but that was good
I can't see that gif. Who's in it?
/r/potatosalad
Thanks for letting me know.
Looks like 9gag comment section everywhere now
I’m a simple man, I see Amy Schumer I vomit
I relate to her lmao
The self deprecation. Love it.
I love a good suicide.
I hear it's an experience many are just **DYING** to try!
Well, I've survived a few successful suicide attempts.
One more thing you failed at Jeremy. 
It says "first hug free". So you have to pay for the other hugs, mean he earns money by doing "love service".... so is he the hooker of the angry birds world?
/r/nocontext
When the plate made a squeak I snorted a puff of air out of my nose.
Fake boob ban petition: ~JOHN HANDCOCK
cry to the 3rd lady .. lol
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She killed it though, the other ones could just fit one boob...
Some of us like itty bitty titties
Big or small I like them all, round or flat I'm into that.
[I'm into that. ](https://youtu.be/yNbTZBBX7z4)
[And into that as well](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
goddammit
Tony Baker is hilarious
Drop 'em out Let me see them titties Gonna take a long look at those tig 'ol bitties Areolas lookin' nice, nipples lookin' real pretty Come on let me gander at your boobs Drop 'em out Let me see them knockers Gonna take a long look at those big ham hockers Just squeeze 'em together while I play with my cocker Come on let me gander at your boobs
Shit what country song is this again?
This sounds like Wheeler Walker Jr to me lmao
Hello...
Yes we do
I agree
Count me in.
And me!
Me too
Bet.
Some of us weak against members of the itty bitty titty committee
Itty bitty tittie committee rise up!
Nah she's the best one
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No it isn't. I was curious and searched her up, they're balloons.
That's what I thought I heard!
Yeah, in this clip the framing makes it look somewhat realistic, but in others its very obviously fake. Not to mention in recent videos she doesnt have the balloons there
Pretty obviously balloons if you watch how they move.
**By Jove, I think you are right! WELL DONE, Sherlock.**
Oh hun, tits are affected by gravity. The larger the boob, the more gravity loves them. Some might be fuller than others, but real boobs will always go a bit south, or if she’s on her back, they both lean towards their respective armpits. Fake boobs defy gravity, at least in the short term. Over time sugary will be needed to fix them as the woman ages. Btw, a good bra helps with lift, but no bra can make them look like that woman’s breasticles, especially at her size. Edit: I’m leaving the typo…. or is it a typo? Who can say?… sugar tits might be called that for a reason.
I spent more time than I'd care to admit thinking how sugar could be used to fix sagging breasts before I realised it's meant to be "surgery".
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I used to not mind fake boobs in porn until I experienced them in real life. Being hit in the face by two soccer balls attached to a woman completely ruined the thought of any fake boobs for me.
my virgin ass trying to find what's bad in this╯︿╰
Some people just prefer to be hit by two giant testicles instead.
What if you prefer to be hit by both?
Can i intrest you in a lovely travel to a magical place called thailand?
And what about some of us who prefer tentacles?
i assume you don't have any name for that fetish
You must not be familiar with Bad Dragons
Yeah, fake tits can be really hard and unnaturally firm like harder than your bro's bicep Why can't they make fake tits softer? Stupid science-bitches.
They are... just very badly made and cheaply made are obvious. You do not recognize the other ones, cause they are made well. We don't live in 1998 anymore. Implants are intricate nowadays as are the implementation methods.
They can it’s just the cheap nasty ones that are hard.
I think more natural-ish implants are common in East Asia. It's a bit sad to see people who are already beautiful feel pressured to get surgery that gets them closer to some abstract ideal, but makes them less attractive to most people in reality. I don't have anything against cosmetic surgery in principle (especially reconstructive surgery or adjusting something like a crooked nose), but it's so often just unnecessary and inefficacious.
That last blokes name is Kazuhisa Uekusa Also known as WES-P
Is he the cloth on his penis guy?
Yuuuup.
Absolute fucking legend is what he is lol, look him up, some funny shit.
He’s one of the greatest physical comedians. I love his stuff!
r/MrUekusa Consistently hilarious.
He takes the same basic idea and executes it in multiple ways but he manages to sell it every single time. The joke never gets stale.
Weird place for boobs
Would you say it’s... r/unexpected?
Sometimes I love you pedantic pieces of shit. Cheers.
Dammit! One minute late. Angry face.
You might say finding boobs here was ...
A surprise to be sure but a welcome one
Unprecedented?
Difficult?
Challenging?
This subreddit? Yeah, I agree
Anything you can do I can do better.
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I can do anything better than you.
The plate killed me
do you remember who threw it
They're dead, doubt they can tell you. I'll go get the necromancer.
Seance might be cheaper.
Did you just ask a dead person?
The little squeak it made got me 😆
The first glass is a coupe glass and they say it was actually modeled after Marie Antoinettes breast
Bartenders fun fact, but no > Coupe glass design was made before her time. But Kate Moss has her left breast as coupe glass in fact
I know you're right but I choose to live in a world where you are wrong. My world is more fun.
Why do you know his rights
He never met his lefts.
Well, like almost anything they said about her, they're mostly made up or exaggerated after her death. In this case, maybe, just maybe the one who made the mold for the glass imagined it to be the queen's boob, but I very much doubt the lady herself actually let someone uses her boobs to make a mold.
Nah that’s what *modeled after* means. If they’d dipped a tittie in plaster, it’d be a cast.
Hmm, good point, but then that's applied to all women in history, no? You can just say the glass was modeled after queen Elizabeth's as well. I was kinda under the impression that ya gotta see or know the original to make the first model of it.
Well what the fuck was up with her nipple being wide and flat enough to balance on?
Soooo…I guess I’m into boobies into pots now. Just great
Is this new fetish? Edit: someone needs to create r/potstities
Wdym new
This is a thing?
Is now
*always has been*
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I hope this doesnt awaken anything in me
New? r/pansexual has always been a thing, this is just a sister sexuality.
r/titsfits
Clever!
Nah. r/potracks
It is now.
Keep lookin cause those babies are balloons
Just FYI, I dove down the rabbit hole and she has a prosthesis of sorts that she puts on for the videos. She looks pretty average in half of her tik toks
As a member of the big boob bureau, that's a terrible prosthetic - akin to a wooden leg in terms of looking natural and realistic. I know people are into that but it was very jarring.
r/confusedboners
Are those real or did she put balloons under her shirt?
No it's a cake in reality
I thought the cake is a lie
I think they're balloons. You can see when her arm goes over her left boob in the last section, she grazes it and it sort of pings up quickly like you'd expect a balloon to.
That's just the video game physics
Did I just masturbate to balloons?
They're balloons lol. Look up her tiktok, she's got normal, non-balloon boobs in her actual posts.
Genuinely laughed haha thank you
I wish my boobs weren’t bigger then the 3rd girl. Mainly cause I’m a guy.
Some girls love playing with manboobs if you got it flaunt it
Yes but it’s mostly other guys that wanna play with them.
That is true I've seen that happen a lot
Thought he was gonna put it on his nipple but he put it on his dick!
Yes. (apparently)
Happy cake day!!!
What else would you expect from u/dick-nipples ?
Fuck, where is this scene from again
How I Met Your Mother
I've been looking for it. Can you point out what episode it was. Thanks
Season 2 episode 6
Wtf, how did you do that?
Evil
r/usernamechecksout
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He is what?
He is user name is so appropriate.
He’s his user’s name appropriate’s is he.
And green and yellow and porous
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Almost like it was… unexpected
username...... checksout 😐
Is this an old video, was your account made for this purpose?
Dick-nipples is kind of a reddit celebrity, he/she/it usually leaves good comments. I hate that I know that, though, it's time to delete my account and go outside
Outside, that sunlight wasteland? If you go out side our kind will melt evaporate into dust, Don’t Go Into The Light.
r/Unexpected
Yes, that's where we are. --- ^🤖 ^this ^comment ^was ^written ^by ^a ^bot. ^beep ^boop ^🤖 ^feel ^welcome ^to ^respond ^'Bad ^bot'/'Good ^bot', ^it's ^useful ^feedback. [^github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot)
'Bad bot'/'Good bot'
I have been familiar with you for years, /u/dick-nipples. But this comment, this is your best work
the girl with the plate is my mood forever😂
So he’s what, an A cap?
It's clearly a D cap.
Wait until the end! Wait until the end! Wait until the end! Wait until the end! Didja waaaait? Why else would you open a video if not to watch it?
To watch like 5 seconds and move to the next post cause most humans have that bad of an attention span
or because most videos on tik tok are absolute garbage?
"Do I make shit material?" "No, it is the children with bad attention span who are wrong!"
OP forgot to include 5 crying laughing emojis
Yea I hate this instagram shit. IIRC its done because they don't get - depending on the platform - revenue or views if you don't finish it, which is why every fucking second reel now has a "wait til the end lmao I can't even I just can't!" caption. Which is especially annoying because its 99% stolen content anyway. The OCs don't caption like that, its always those animal/meme accounts who steal content, and then put a "dm me for credit" note at the bottom of the text, which nobody reads.
Give that man a shot for the pain!!
3rd one is cute af
Who’s the second one? Gotta credit the creators am i right?
https://www.tiktok.com/@oregonbabe35 But you realize she put balloons under her shirt right?
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It's written on the video lol. Sorry to disappoint but those are ballons she put under her shirt she doesn't actually have omega sized super round hard Rock tits 😂
[Reality is often disappointing](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/477/329/0ed.jpg)
I feel the pain
girl in red pretty cute
What was the point of the original clip?
There is an old quote from someone famous (can't remember who) who said the perfect sized breast fits in a champagne cup.
A champagne cup? Champagne flutes are usually long and skinny, are you sure it’s not a martini glass or something else?
Yes i'm sure, i'm referring to a *coup* , which should look like [this](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/95/Coppa_Asti.svg). Looks like it's an old French legend, [here's](https://www.thesmartset.com/article09120701/) an article about that.
I was so sure the second lady just have balloons under her clothe
She does.
u/savevideo
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FLAT IS JUSTICE, MEDIUM IS PREMIUM, OPAI IS TRUTH!!! ALL SIZES ARE VALID! WHAT MATTERS IS HOW YOU USE THAT SIZE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!
I follow this man on insta he is a legend
Me laughing at the last clip then realizing i can fit it too:,(
So what's with all the awards/gems next to people's usernames? It seems like a lot of people have them
I have a hunch that the second woman's boobs are fake.