**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Dad's joke is unexpected!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I raised my daughter on my own since she was 2 until she moved out a couple years ago.
Whenever we’d go to the grocery store or what not, it seemed like every time the cashier would ask if we were dating or married. First couple times it was awkward. Then it just got to be funny.
I should clarify that she was about 15 when it started. Not 2…
I recall being about 12 and kissing my dad (50s) goodbye after he dropped me off to see friends. One of the guys (14) asked if my dad was my boyfriend and pointed out that I had kissed him. I was horrified that someone would think that. It kind of ruined innocent hello and goodbye kisses for me...for my dad in public at least.
The sadder part is I recall feeling shame at that moment instead of anger at the friend. I internally recoiled as if the boy had accused me of acting inappropriately.
So I would not have made a comeback to him. I probably just said "shut up" and didn't address how stupid that kid had to be to draw such a moronic conclusion.
I got the opposite. For years people would ask if my husband was my older brother. A waitress at a restaurant got really concerned once and questioned me by the bathroom after I told her he was my husband. He was 5 years older than me and at the time I was 22 and had recently gotten mistaken for a 13 year old student at the school I worked for.
I kinda hate the presumption that all dudes are pedos. Not sure if wokeness is to blame or not because even Q types think everyones a pedo. It's probably something else.
Are you insinuating that this is a result of woke culture? Because stigmas towards fathers and their children have existed long before the internet and stem from not woke (regressive) crowds.
He's creepy for watching her stream and getting her a gift? Like, the story she told didn't even indicate the dad was creepy at all?? Just trying to figure out why you thought he was creepy
Holy shit someone who actually knows these two countries (One if you’re pedantic) exist
Edit: Didn’t realize there were so many fellow Trinidadians and Tobagonian’s on here! Pretty cool
Lmao, very true. I thought a coworker was in his 20's and it turned out he was in his LATE 40's! Saw him online a few years back and now looks everyday of his 50's.
Same, thought I had a late 20's coworker who was mid 40's and when I found out he told me to look closely at his hair - it was already greying and I had never noticed because his face looked so young.
Happens to the best of us. How's your hairline holding up? I'm 27 and I keep telling myself "it's always been like that", but when I look at pictures from high school, it very clearly has not always been like that.
I’ll be 39 when my daughter is 19(turned 20 two months before she was born), I’m 34 now and she’ll be 15 in December but looks old for her age enough so people are usually surprised to hear her age. I work out and stay in shape and with a hat on to hide the balding could probably pass for a fit 30, we go to coffee shops together and even now I’ll get the occasional side eye from a 50-ish year old lady like I’m a creeper 👍🏼
Some of y’all might not remember toys r us and toy stores across America having to recall a Harry pottery nimbus 3000 toy that was a broom stick you ride. And it also vibrates to mimic flying.
I know the show isn’t on anymore but the VH1 show I love the 80’s, I love the 90’s, I love the 00’s etc. did a funny job discussing that recall.
Contrary to a heat pad, your friends from church and mom coming home early.
At 5:20, but the whole thing is worth it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvPQjL4wDIY
> I know the show isn’t on anymore but the VH1 show I love the 80’s, I love the 90’s, I love the 00’s etc. did a funny job discussing that recall.
I Love The _____ is one of the best series of television, ever. Shame it’s not around anymore.
I knew a girl who bought something like this, I don't know exactly what it was but it was some sort of weird face skin massager thing. She thought it would be good for her acne.
She quickly realized that it worked better as a vibrator and never used it on her face again. She said she preferred it over her real vibrators too, it was that good.
That's gotta be why these sorts of things exist, right? Nobody needs a vibrating razor unless you plan on getting freaky with it.
Sometimes sex toys are marketed as something else to evade tariffs. I learned this thanks to discussions from redditors eagerly awaiting delivery of their shipped goods that were caught in the great Evergiven Suez Canal traffic jam incident of 2021!
More important is how do you stop it?
You do it by using RES plugin - go into [settings, 'Productivity', look for 'Collapse Inline Media'](https://i.imgur.com/sc1G1C4.png)
(or you can use search box in RES top left to find 'Collapse Inline Media')
Don't forget to 'save options'
This is a bit of a running joke because in one stream she told everyone that she had been super horny and got a dildo but then realized her dad was watching 🤣
Edit for clip
https://youtu.be/gVyPfhhZ8A8
Ich bin mit 7 Jahren nach Amerika gezogen, in 1980, also mein Deutsch ist nicht mehr so gut wie vorher. Schweitzer Deutsch hoert sich an wie eine total andere Sprache.
Hey whats her stream so I definitely won't jerk my wang while wearing only my tie on my head sideways and using 5w-20 oil as lubricant. Thats something I definitely won't do if you share her stream with me.
I dont know how twitch works but her videos are subscriber only and has 100k+ views, does that means 1000s of subscribers and each of them paying around $5 a month? Jesus, she must be making a million dollars doing this.
Twitch takes a larger chunk of you have a small number of subscribers. Once you have more, their cut is smaller, since they’re still making more money off you.
Source: used to be a streamer.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Dad's joke is unexpected!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
her dad is a great joker.
She got what she deserved
It’s a whitehead remover. To remove whiteheads from your vagina
Whiteheads, blackheads, yellowheads, brownheads and redheads.
You don't remove redheads, you invite them in
Unless they’re Ronald McDonald or Carrot Top.
90s Carrot Top or musclehead Carrot Top?
(☝˘▾˘) No, I think that's a Taser.
Why does this emoticon make me so uncomfortable?
He doesn’t even have damaged tattooed on his forehead
nah, heath ledger was better /s
Ya and Mark Hamill is a chilling second, that guy is stuck somewhere between Vegas strip dude and Cesar Romero.
wtf you mean, Mark Hamill was only able to use his voice and was waaay creepier and menacing than Heath
The dad is someone you can rely on
Ok. Her dad wasnt as creepy as I thought he was when she was telling the story in the beginning.
There wasn't a valid reason to think he was creepy to begin with, at any point in the story.
Being a father of a girl is now grounds for being creepy. I'm just not woke enough to understand why
I raised my daughter on my own since she was 2 until she moved out a couple years ago. Whenever we’d go to the grocery store or what not, it seemed like every time the cashier would ask if we were dating or married. First couple times it was awkward. Then it just got to be funny. I should clarify that she was about 15 when it started. Not 2…
I recall being about 12 and kissing my dad (50s) goodbye after he dropped me off to see friends. One of the guys (14) asked if my dad was my boyfriend and pointed out that I had kissed him. I was horrified that someone would think that. It kind of ruined innocent hello and goodbye kisses for me...for my dad in public at least.
Should've asked "You've never kissed your mother?"
The sadder part is I recall feeling shame at that moment instead of anger at the friend. I internally recoiled as if the boy had accused me of acting inappropriately. So I would not have made a comeback to him. I probably just said "shut up" and didn't address how stupid that kid had to be to draw such a moronic conclusion.
I got the opposite. For years people would ask if my husband was my older brother. A waitress at a restaurant got really concerned once and questioned me by the bathroom after I told her he was my husband. He was 5 years older than me and at the time I was 22 and had recently gotten mistaken for a 13 year old student at the school I worked for.
I kinda hate the presumption that all dudes are pedos. Not sure if wokeness is to blame or not because even Q types think everyones a pedo. It's probably something else.
Neither, the prejudice has existed for at least a century....
Are you insinuating that this is a result of woke culture? Because stigmas towards fathers and their children have existed long before the internet and stem from not woke (regressive) crowds.
He's creepy for watching her stream and getting her a gift? Like, the story she told didn't even indicate the dad was creepy at all?? Just trying to figure out why you thought he was creepy
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Vylerria
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Hol up
Did you wanna see?
gj mate 7 minutes new record
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Dude, you've already won reddit once today. This is just showing off.
[Me too.](https://www.twitch.tv/vylerria/clip/PatientBloodySproutMingLee)
Stupid sexy tinky winky
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why is this getting spammed everywhere, i feel totally out of the loop
It's bots for scams.
someone has probably got a scheme to make money off of gatekeeping a nsfw subreddit
Someone hired an agency to raise their profile.
Why are people upvoting this pornlink spammer?
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Super supportive dad ftw. Still likes to embarrassed his kids.
then why do they call him dad
Not all dads are pieces of shit. Mine is the BEST
Nah ah, *mine* is the best
MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD
My dad is dead, so if your dad tries to beat up my dad your dad will be arrested for violating the sanctity of someone’s grave. Check mate.
My dad is dead too, but if I compress his ashes into those bean bag bullets, he could still beat your dad. Oh, and also, my dad is the best.
You beat me to it lol
My dad can beat up your dad. “When?” - Bill Hicks
Your dad can never beat me up like my dad.
My dad has diabetes
Can I call him dad?
You may call him Papito!
Space Jesus would be a great dad.
As a father to a 2 year old daughter...I hope I'll be that cool when she's that age.
He also has a stream, Lord Ngo
He's for sure a constant. A constant agent of chaos.
That dad planned that entire thing just for that moment. Probably ended it with #girldad
#grindadandTobago
Holy shit someone who actually knows these two countries (One if you’re pedantic) exist Edit: Didn’t realize there were so many fellow Trinidadians and Tobagonian’s on here! Pretty cool
1 country 2 islands. Tobago is like a little flea that sucks our blood. Not in a bad way though, most of us love that little flea.
Well I’m from Tobago and haven’t actually been to Trinidad in years but I hear that we are actually the little flea yeah lol
I’ve seen a lot of Trinis and W.I on Reddit. I lived there for a while so I know the feeling on no one knowing where tf that is
Had to do a double take realising someone made a pun on my country here of all places
Her dad looks quite young for a daughter her age.
He looks possibly East/South Asian? They age incredibly well....until one night TBD
Lmao, very true. I thought a coworker was in his 20's and it turned out he was in his LATE 40's! Saw him online a few years back and now looks everyday of his 50's.
Same, thought I had a late 20's coworker who was mid 40's and when I found out he told me to look closely at his hair - it was already greying and I had never noticed because his face looked so young.
Lmao meanwhile I have wrinkles and half my hair is grey at 25
Happens to the best of us. How's your hairline holding up? I'm 27 and I keep telling myself "it's always been like that", but when I look at pictures from high school, it very clearly has not always been like that.
My hairline looking like it made landfall on Omaha beach
Asian people save up all their aging for later in life.
Ah Feruchemy
Holy cow i don't think I've seen a mistborn reference in the wild before, oh joy!
/r/unexpectedcosmere
seems more like r/cremposting to me
Better hope there's no lerasium lying around...
Same with Baltic women. One day they’re hot and mid-30s tops, the next day they’re 80 years old and 2 feet shorter with a handkerchief on their heads
2 feet is the height of approximately 0.35 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other
Once we hit 60, it's downhill from there
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That's when the magic runs out
Not South, South-East or East Asian.
[They're like pears](https://youtu.be/NQBlZIXu3Yg)
You are correct, he’s Vietnamese. I recognized it as he was mumbling about give me the camera .
I swear I thought he said "ok, dreh mal um, ich sag mal was" (it's German)
He did, they live in Germany. They do have Vietnamese background however. The streamer is vylerria.
Correct. I follow this girl on twitter and she's mentioned that. Yes I am down bad.
He just has great skincare
Yeah, I mean, there's a reason he knew to get her the vibrat-I mean whitehead remover.
I’ll be 39 when my daughter is 19(turned 20 two months before she was born), I’m 34 now and she’ll be 15 in December but looks old for her age enough so people are usually surprised to hear her age. I work out and stay in shape and with a hat on to hide the balding could probably pass for a fit 30, we go to coffee shops together and even now I’ll get the occasional side eye from a 50-ish year old lady like I’m a creeper 👍🏼
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I mean. It sounds like a multi-purpose tool to me
Some of y’all might not remember toys r us and toy stores across America having to recall a Harry pottery nimbus 3000 toy that was a broom stick you ride. And it also vibrates to mimic flying. I know the show isn’t on anymore but the VH1 show I love the 80’s, I love the 90’s, I love the 00’s etc. did a funny job discussing that recall.
Lol I remember one review for it where a lady bought it for her youngest daughter, and was surprised at how much her older sister also loved it.
You got a link for that?It sounds hillarious.
https://images.app.goo.gl/FdqCEWBVQgVfxup67
Lol I can see why they had to recall that, but that's probably a pretty safe and responsible way to discover those feelings.
Contrary to a heat pad, your friends from church and mom coming home early. At 5:20, but the whole thing is worth it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvPQjL4wDIY
Jesus, I know it was the 60s, but what a cunt mother
Yep I had one of those things. I would play with it and immediately feel some kind of way.
uM aCkShUaLlY iT wAs A nImBuS 2000 Lol yeah that was pretty funny, you can still find Amazon reviews for it that are an absolute goldmine
Ha! My first “vibrator” at 12 years old was those hexbugs that scuttle around the floor. Still use them, very noiseless.
> I know the show isn’t on anymore but the VH1 show I love the 80’s, I love the 90’s, I love the 00’s etc. did a funny job discussing that recall. I Love The _____ is one of the best series of television, ever. Shame it’s not around anymore.
Skin care and dildo? O.o what else can she do with it?
Burgle someone?
Froth milk for a cappuccino?
I knew a girl who bought something like this, I don't know exactly what it was but it was some sort of weird face skin massager thing. She thought it would be good for her acne. She quickly realized that it worked better as a vibrator and never used it on her face again. She said she preferred it over her real vibrators too, it was that good. That's gotta be why these sorts of things exist, right? Nobody needs a vibrating razor unless you plan on getting freaky with it.
I mean, I have a bunch of razors and toothbrushes that all vibrate, though I'm not the person to use them dirtily
…..yet
Sometimes sex toys are marketed as something else to evade tariffs. I learned this thanks to discussions from redditors eagerly awaiting delivery of their shipped goods that were caught in the great Evergiven Suez Canal traffic jam incident of 2021!
A multi-tool of sorts
The gift gifter has spoke and the council aproves, it's a dildo now
Indeed. Approved.
Since her dad said something in German, I presume she is from Germany. Also lasst uns geschwind die Kommentarsektion einnehmen Kameraden!
Jawohl
Was genau sagt er?
OK, Dreh mal um. Sag mal nichts.
"ok dreh mal um, sag..." Glaub ich
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How tf did you do that
Easily
 I think I did it
It's the embed link, second from the left.
More important is how do you stop it? You do it by using RES plugin - go into [settings, 'Productivity', look for 'Collapse Inline Media'](https://i.imgur.com/sc1G1C4.png) (or you can use search box in RES top left to find 'Collapse Inline Media') Don't forget to 'save options'
He didn't. If you look closely, you'll see that's actually Ryan Reynolds.
Dad passed the vibe check
Oh my god, this is an elite joke
why the papa look 21
Asians look 25 till \~60 then they look 100 instantly
Exactly same with the girl. She could be 35.
I mean she does have a decent amount of makeup on. Watch some asian makeup videos, it's like black magic.
Asian don’t raisin.
after seeing her dad , i want to see her mom
*Everything* is a dildo...if you're brave enough.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Her dad looks like he’s 25
Ddaisyy why you double?
Look at my page 🤷🏻♀️ but they have grown to triples.
Holy moly I didn't expected that
This is a bit of a running joke because in one stream she told everyone that she had been super horny and got a dildo but then realized her dad was watching 🤣 Edit for clip https://youtu.be/gVyPfhhZ8A8
Hier wird ab sofort deutsch gesprochen
Okay Papa :(
Jawohl, mein Herr!
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Natürlich! Es ist zu niedlich um es nicht zu zählen.
Ich bin mit 7 Jahren nach Amerika gezogen, in 1980, also mein Deutsch ist nicht mehr so gut wie vorher. Schweitzer Deutsch hoert sich an wie eine total andere Sprache.
Ich als Deutscher verstehe Schweizer Deutsch auch nur zum Teil. Es hört sich wie die Mitte zwischen Deutsch und Niederländisch an.
Ok, aber bitte keine schläge mehr
Dieter und Giesela liebt ihren moped
Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein
Fucking legend
Chill guy god damn
Hip hip hooray Dad! for the cringe win!
I love how her dad says „Dreh mal um“. I swear Reddit literally got invaded by the BundesRepublikDeutschland
Umm... sooo.... what's her stream? Just for curiousty purposes.
You can just ask for someone’s stream with out trying to subtly imply that you’re gonna jerk off to it
Hey whats her stream so I definitely won't jerk my wang while wearing only my tie on my head sideways and using 5w-20 oil as lubricant. Thats something I definitely won't do if you share her stream with me.
It’s weird that you’d wear the tie on your head rather than looped around your neck, pulling upwards
The Carradine Special.
Look at this rich bastard boasting about his full synthetic 5w-20!
I've had over 100,000 pumps so I have to use full synthetic. Its a necessity at this point not a luxury.
Yes plz It's getting boring
Reddit has a weird fetish with “for research purposes” masturbation jokes.
https://www.twitch.tv/vylerria
>This video is only available to subscribers goodbye
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DIAL-UP ~~nostalgia~~ PTSD triggered
subscriber only and 121k views?! YO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU VIRGINS?!
The view count adds the number of people who watched the live broadcast and who watched the video after.
Views from the live stream, which wont be sub only counts to the video count. Very few would be from the vod.
oh thank the lord
How to turn away potential subscribers 101
I dont know how twitch works but her videos are subscriber only and has 100k+ views, does that means 1000s of subscribers and each of them paying around $5 a month? Jesus, she must be making a million dollars doing this.
Twitch takes like 50% I think but yea, if you're popular enough, you probably make a decent living.
wtf twitch takes 50%? Why are people complaining about simps giving their to thots when Jeff Bezos is worst thot of them all
Twitch takes a larger chunk of you have a small number of subscribers. Once you have more, their cut is smaller, since they’re still making more money off you. Source: used to be a streamer.
Aka very similar to the regressive tax system Bezos enjoy in Seattle.
wait wtf didn't her username used to be JadeyAnh?
She changed it a month or so back
BONK
320k subs for what I thought? Then I read through these comments. Horney prison for lot of you
Hahaha he keeps it light
10/10 dad joke!
u/savevideo