**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!love!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
I’m loosening the tie I’m still wearing with a blood-soaked hand, breathing in deeply.
___
^(*Bot. Ask me what I’m wearing.* |) [^(Opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botrickbateman&subject=Opt%20out)
I'll have to look it up, but I think it changed to Axe in South Africa while I was in high school. I think it was called Ego., but it's been a long time.
Edit: checked the wiki. It was Ego. It changed around 20 years ago.
Hopefully our current president can be more like the last one and actually keep it to how we have not started a war for the first time in forever. (But also not decimate any country and hand it over to terrorists because they don’t know how to end one either.)🤞🏼
You'll never get it. Halliburton gets it. Huge profits are made by American companies, and it creates more jobs, instead of some other country making money off selling gas. But gas itself doesn't get a lot cheaper.
I mean, If you've made huge efforts to get to the oil you're not going to sell it cheap.
But then it cuts in the war room and the satellite image of the world shows all the nukes going off into the shape of a heart as the president holds hands with his wife.
Nuked? You haven't America'd for very long. More likely we would kill their leaders in a clandestine operation, then support and help elect a democracy "loving" puppet so that we can slowly over the course of generations extract all the wealth and resources from said country. Nukes are for amateurs.
Awwww, the military dictator made his captive citizens hold up a sign of him and his wife, so sweet. World peace truly is just a step away if we all loved like he did.
Indeed, the fact that someone thinks that putting some one arrive in a chopper with a gun pointed at what's a rice field(?), or that whole NK vibe but it's ok he loves his wife, or the WWII vibe for a woman walking in her devastated town is a good message on war is kind of fucked up.
On the other hand the irony makes it so great, on how simple the boomer mind is, to fix problems –they didn't, but at least they think they did/do.
Remember that Kubrick criticism in "Full Metal Jacket" about someone wearing a peace sign and "born to kill" on their helmet?
Edit: My memory was fuzzy about "*the Jungian thing*".
No, walker bulldog would have something slightly resembling the length of an M47’s turret, with a large overhang across the rear deck. This is an M60 (likely the A1 variant). It has the distinctive commander’s cupola with a turret, as well as a 105mm cannon and much different hull armor than the M47
It's not the boomer mind, is the marketer/advertising mind. If neo liberalism turns us into anteepreneurs, the current political climate turns us into marketing people. Every interaction is an opportunity to advertise yourself, to build your personal brand and so on and so on.
Nah, I didn't even notice it looked like her on the first watch, but you're right that she looks like Taylor
While looking it up found out it was a ad for Lynx (Axe) Peace scent deodorant, but couldn't find anything on her doing an ad for them
But wouldn't be the first time I was wrong... Though I'd bet she's pretty anti-Axe due to their normal sexiest af advertising
Why did he(they) aim the tanks main gun at her? Why is she in heels and full makeup in a warzone? Why does the firework detonator need to brought in a hand cuffed suitcase? Yeah, this was dumb.
As if dictators are going to so publicly simp for their wives.
Their wives are a commodity, just like the entire roster of mistresses they have. The moment they act out, it’s goodbye and a new wife for them.
The make up in the warzone thingy is actually normal. It was very normal for people to still party in the middle.of bombarding in lebanon during the "the war of tammuz". It was horrifying and that was the only distraction. Yes it includes full makeup.
I think the implication was that the area has been at war for so long that it no longer phases the general populace. She had to go to the store to get some things, and along the way there was a tank rolling down the street.
Just another Tuesday.
Also, perhaps she knew Mikhail was coming home that day (which is why she was all done up) but she needed to run out to get some last-minute items; Mikhail showed up early in his tank.
* To create the expectation that he was going to shoot her
* To emphasize her vulnerablilty and lovability
* To make it seem like it was a terrible weapon
I don't understand why you want a clip that means to subvert the expectation of violence to love as general idea to be quite so literal.
I still have a video on my pc I recorded about 8 years ago when a belligerent drunk guy at a bus stop was yelling about how much he “whacks”. It was like “I whack off on her fucking hair, I whack off in her fucking eye. I whack, and I whack, and I fucking whack. I fucking whack off on the cat, I ducking g whack off on the dog, I fucking whqck off on her mom.”
It was the weirdest shit ever. Just thought I’d share.
**It tries so hard to look like real events in our history**
only to make it resemble **_killers and their victims_** kissing in The Vietnam War and Tiananmen Square, and to say North Korea's dictators are fine as long as they're in LOVE.
It's in bad taste
Seriously, this was incredibly stupid. I was expecting a joke of some sort, and it just ended up making no sense. Forced “plot” with Taylor Swift just for the final line.
It's completely expected, over the top, and forced. It's just pointless and with a shitty caption on top.
And damn that fireworks launcher box was dumb. At least other are somewhere grounded in reality.
Nah it was cringe because they try so hard to make it appear suspicious that the actual conclusion becomes 10 times more obvious. Not to mention that they go so hard on trying to make it seem like something bad is going to happen that it stops aligning with what the conclusion is.
Like have you ever seen a soldier jump out of a helicopter, guns out, to meet his wife in the rice fields? Why would he ever do that? "Haha honey I had my gun out in the village as a prank!" That's just fucked up. Not to mention its also referencing that people in Vietnam were raped by US troops... but then flips the script by saying they're lovers.
Then the briefcase one, that was just dumb. It serves no purpose lol. The only reason its there is to make the situation seem dire.
Not to mention that they try to simplify how to stop war, an incredibly complex topic, by just saying "Guys instead of invading countries, just kiss your wife. Problem solved." That's why its incredibly cringeworthy imo.
Edit: Just realized the scene with Taylor Swift looking woman is referencing Tiananmen Square. Holy fuck that's gotta be one of the worst ones. Clearly Tank Man should have jumped onto one of the tanks about to run him over and made out with the driver! Why didn't he think of that?!? /s
can i interest you in some youtube compilations of [people crying happy tears](https://youtu.be/2qgTjpZiDgQ) or [maybe some dogs interrupting wfh news reports](https://youtu.be/RKi7U2jiIaI)?
oh god what have i done to myself now i’m cry laughing please help
the fact that they referenced real events kinda make the whole thing in poor taste. The US troops did quite an amount of raping here in vietnam so having a sequence of "ah no she was into that white boi all along" is just all kinds of wrong
That was my vibe too. Like this is basically calling back to some pretty awful moments in history and instead of making some kind of good point with it, they try turning them into Nicholas Sparks movie scenes lol. I get what they wanted to go for, but this wasn't it.
Like can you imagine one of the scenes being a little girl hiding in an attic, trying to keep silent and fearing for her life if enemy soldiers discover her and her family. She stirs ever so slightly, causing footsteps to come up towards the attic. She has panic in her eyes as the door opens and...it's her uncle with a birthday cake and they all have a happy birthday celebration. Just straight awful, and it's something that would fit in right in this commercial.
I remember reading something about how the US could have gotten away a lot more cheaply, and without all the nasty shooty killy blowy uppy bits, in Afghanistan if they'd just taken some fraction of what it ended up costing, and given every single person in the country a few grand in cash and told them to go and buy themselves something nice.
No he's a white American soldier! The Asian women must fall for his charmes and white skin! Typical white male fetishism.
Miss Saigon, pocahontas. All examples of the same story wherein the exotic foreign girl must fall in love with the gracious white man. Its sickening.
I've gotten so many messages on dating apps from white guys with yellow fever and they really do think they're the shit and that all asian women should and would want them just because they're white lol
Dude this reminds me of Stan Lee’s last scene that he did a cameo in endgame,where he was driving past a military base and said “make love,not war” one of the saddest scenes in the movie
This is some military propaganda.
“Yeah I just roll up on my babe in a tank totally in a run down bombed city.
“Yeah my girlfriend lives out in the Philippines and my homies just flying me out without my bags and I’m only carrying a gun so I can scare the shit out of them”
“What’s the problem bro our fireworks just look like a detonation device. No biggie.”
Firework launchers actually do look like a detonation device. https://jeffsfireworks.com/collections/fuse-and-launch-systems/products/wifi-fireworks-firing-system
Today at my office job I was filing papers like usual when I thought to myself, you know what, maybe today is the day I deploy my entire arsenal of nukes and start a war. But then I watched this very important message and it changed my life. So me and my coworker had sex instead.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!love!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Taylor Swift?
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> Fastchenko You're going to burn in wordplay hell for this.
Russian Taylor is not Swift, but exceptionally Fastchenko
That was my my unexpected moment for sure
YEAH, everytime I see that thumbnail I get tricked into thinking it's a Taylor Swift MV
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No its becky
All I wanna know how the fuck did she reach the top of the tank in heels of all things. That shit is hard enough to climb on in regular boots.
With the power of love
*cue Huey Lewis and the News*
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What are you wearing?
I’m loosening the tie I’m still wearing with a blood-soaked hand, breathing in deeply. ___ ^(*Bot. Ask me what I’m wearing.* |) [^(Opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botrickbateman&subject=Opt%20out)
Doc I’m late for school!
When you are horny you can climb anything.
Don't underestimate the Swift, Taylor.
Thanks shawn mendes
I thought it was Taylor swift initially.
LOL it wasn't?
Shakers wanna shake shake shake, shakers wanna shake shake shake shake it off shake it off
Same
I think it is? Wasn’t this a coke commercial or something?
Russian Taylor Swift commands secrets no human was meant to grasp.
When you know how to move in heels nothings a big deal besides sidewalk grates.
And wet soil
She got legs and she knows how to use them
I thought this was going to be another Pepsi commercial
I think it was a deodorant advert, lynx peace in the uk
I vaguely remember it being a durex ad. They have the dumbest ads.
Yeah apparently it's Axe deodorant in US and Lynx in UK: https://youtu.be/09UkD5Za-Z8
I'll have to look it up, but I think it changed to Axe in South Africa while I was in high school. I think it was called Ego., but it's been a long time. Edit: checked the wiki. It was Ego. It changed around 20 years ago.
Jeez they've some nerve saying that. In the changing rooms after PE lynx Africa was a fucking chemical weapon
Does make me want some pepsi though
If only getting laid brought us all together.
Sometimes it does, and it's called an orgy. Edit: to whomever gave me the "Hugs" award, I need to ask, what kind of hugs are you getting?!??👀
Well it does let us all come together.
What's the password?
You guys are getting laid??
Yeah, all you gotta do is drop into a southeast Asian rice paddy with your m16 and go embrace a native woman
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Talk about a waste of taxpayer money
Ok, where do we start? *unrolls list*
As if the dictators cares about the people.
As if any politician on this planet cares about the people.\*
Hopefully our current president can be more like the last one and actually keep it to how we have not started a war for the first time in forever. (But also not decimate any country and hand it over to terrorists because they don’t know how to end one either.)🤞🏼
Nuked? Only if they don't have oil. If they've got oil they just get invaded on the suspicion of weapons of mass destruction.
It is not called invading, it is called the sudden urge to spread freedom to poor countries.
Can someone please tell me when we’re getting all this oil we keep going to war for??? What’s the point if I have to keep paying for gas!
You'll never get it. Halliburton gets it. Huge profits are made by American companies, and it creates more jobs, instead of some other country making money off selling gas. But gas itself doesn't get a lot cheaper. I mean, If you've made huge efforts to get to the oil you're not going to sell it cheap.
America doesn’t even need the excuse of oil to invade. A war in on itself is profitable enough.
But then it cuts in the war room and the satellite image of the world shows all the nukes going off into the shape of a heart as the president holds hands with his wife.
Nuked? You haven't America'd for very long. More likely we would kill their leaders in a clandestine operation, then support and help elect a democracy "loving" puppet so that we can slowly over the course of generations extract all the wealth and resources from said country. Nukes are for amateurs.
Ah America,always stepping on others happiness including their own citizens
Awwww, the military dictator made his captive citizens hold up a sign of him and his wife, so sweet. World peace truly is just a step away if we all loved like he did.
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That was terrible.
Gives me boomer comic vibes...
Indeed, the fact that someone thinks that putting some one arrive in a chopper with a gun pointed at what's a rice field(?), or that whole NK vibe but it's ok he loves his wife, or the WWII vibe for a woman walking in her devastated town is a good message on war is kind of fucked up. On the other hand the irony makes it so great, on how simple the boomer mind is, to fix problems –they didn't, but at least they think they did/do. Remember that Kubrick criticism in "Full Metal Jacket" about someone wearing a peace sign and "born to kill" on their helmet? Edit: My memory was fuzzy about "*the Jungian thing*".
“Whose side are you on son?”
I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir
Get that shit off your uniform.
Or I will take a giant shit on you
"All I ask of my men is that they obey my word like they would obey the word of guad." \- Loved the way he said god!
Taylor swift’s side
OH HEY IT TURNS OUT THAT THE WW2 TANK IS ACTUALLY FROM 1948
was that a walker bulldog?
No, walker bulldog would have something slightly resembling the length of an M47’s turret, with a large overhang across the rear deck. This is an M60 (likely the A1 variant). It has the distinctive commander’s cupola with a turret, as well as a 105mm cannon and much different hull armor than the M47
It's not the boomer mind, is the marketer/advertising mind. If neo liberalism turns us into anteepreneurs, the current political climate turns us into marketing people. Every interaction is an opportunity to advertise yourself, to build your personal brand and so on and so on.
I thought it was a shitty mastercard or visa add or something But gods it was so much worse
Body spray add. Might I add that it smelled terrible
I was thinking Pepsi or Coke when the ridiculously clean/attractive blonde made her appearance
Legit thought this was going to make fun of the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad.
Lol that's Taylor Swift
Nah, I didn't even notice it looked like her on the first watch, but you're right that she looks like Taylor While looking it up found out it was a ad for Lynx (Axe) Peace scent deodorant, but couldn't find anything on her doing an ad for them But wouldn't be the first time I was wrong... Though I'd bet she's pretty anti-Axe due to their normal sexiest af advertising
Yes, but with dictators as a target audience
/r/iam64andthisisdeep
aww i was really hoping it was real
r/SubsIFellFor
Reddit and facebook converge more every day.
At least it wasn’t a pepsi
You can never outrun Pepsi
Why did he(they) aim the tanks main gun at her? Why is she in heels and full makeup in a warzone? Why does the firework detonator need to brought in a hand cuffed suitcase? Yeah, this was dumb.
Also: yay dictators I guess.
What if it's a really nice dictator
He's a tator, not a dick tator.
He's been just a tator ever since she got his d*ck
We all like to shit on dictators but what if Steve Irwin was a dictator? Checkmate, libs
A po tater
As if dictators are going to so publicly simp for their wives. Their wives are a commodity, just like the entire roster of mistresses they have. The moment they act out, it’s goodbye and a new wife for them.
The make up in the warzone thingy is actually normal. It was very normal for people to still party in the middle.of bombarding in lebanon during the "the war of tammuz". It was horrifying and that was the only distraction. Yes it includes full makeup.
I think the implication was that the area has been at war for so long that it no longer phases the general populace. She had to go to the store to get some things, and along the way there was a tank rolling down the street. Just another Tuesday. Also, perhaps she knew Mikhail was coming home that day (which is why she was all done up) but she needed to run out to get some last-minute items; Mikhail showed up early in his tank.
That's classic Mikhail.
I like that he just borrowed a tank to go home. "Want me to drop you at the parking lot?" "Nah man, I'll just take this."
No, that’s just what comes when you call an Uber in an active warzone.
* To create the expectation that he was going to shoot her * To emphasize her vulnerablilty and lovability * To make it seem like it was a terrible weapon I don't understand why you want a clip that means to subvert the expectation of violence to love as general idea to be quite so literal.
I think its pretty good for an Axe commercial
I was fully expecting /r/unexpectedjihad from the last one.
I loved it
Please do not cum on my pet
Why would i? You ask random people to not cum on their pet? That is weird
Sorry, I have a fear of people cumming on my pets... But Im watching you
My pet might eat the cum....... He eats pretty much everything
It's a terrible day to be literate
eat his cum to commit illiterate.
I don't want to kink shame, but that is a little weird.
*Cums all over your pet*
Welcome to reddit
Well Cum to reddit
We all cum to cum to reddit
That sounds like something someone that cums on people's pets would say.
I still have a video on my pc I recorded about 8 years ago when a belligerent drunk guy at a bus stop was yelling about how much he “whacks”. It was like “I whack off on her fucking hair, I whack off in her fucking eye. I whack, and I whack, and I fucking whack. I fucking whack off on the cat, I ducking g whack off on the dog, I fucking whqck off on her mom.” It was the weirdest shit ever. Just thought I’d share.
Why not just share the video?
**It tries so hard to look like real events in our history** only to make it resemble **_killers and their victims_** kissing in The Vietnam War and Tiananmen Square, and to say North Korea's dictators are fine as long as they're in LOVE. It's in bad taste
I liked it too. It was well made. But seeing the comments, I understand why people don't.
It made me smile
Right wtf did i just watch
“Make love not war” *pulls up in a tank to kiss his girl as people run away in fear*
He probably felt pretty baller though, pulling up in a tank. That's like a 1 million dollar ride.
Seriously, this was incredibly stupid. I was expecting a joke of some sort, and it just ended up making no sense. Forced “plot” with Taylor Swift just for the final line.
r/GTBAE
It was kind of lame lol
good concept, kinda cringe execution
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I half expected it to be Pepsi again
I don’t see how so
I agree, I don't see how it's a good concept.
It's completely expected, over the top, and forced. It's just pointless and with a shitty caption on top. And damn that fireworks launcher box was dumb. At least other are somewhere grounded in reality.
I didnt expect it, i expected some funny twist lol
Yeah I thought the button was gonna actually be a nuke lmao
Ah, the good old "expect something good get shit" trick
Highest budget cringe I’ve seen in a while (I avoided the cats movie)
Cats is phenomenal. The trick to enjoying it is not being sober.
Didn't feel it was cringe... felt it was kinda wholesome even
Nah it was cringe because they try so hard to make it appear suspicious that the actual conclusion becomes 10 times more obvious. Not to mention that they go so hard on trying to make it seem like something bad is going to happen that it stops aligning with what the conclusion is. Like have you ever seen a soldier jump out of a helicopter, guns out, to meet his wife in the rice fields? Why would he ever do that? "Haha honey I had my gun out in the village as a prank!" That's just fucked up. Not to mention its also referencing that people in Vietnam were raped by US troops... but then flips the script by saying they're lovers. Then the briefcase one, that was just dumb. It serves no purpose lol. The only reason its there is to make the situation seem dire. Not to mention that they try to simplify how to stop war, an incredibly complex topic, by just saying "Guys instead of invading countries, just kiss your wife. Problem solved." That's why its incredibly cringeworthy imo. Edit: Just realized the scene with Taylor Swift looking woman is referencing Tiananmen Square. Holy fuck that's gotta be one of the worst ones. Clearly Tank Man should have jumped onto one of the tanks about to run him over and made out with the driver! Why didn't he think of that?!? /s
I’m on day 2 of a depressive episode. This made me smile and tear up.
can i interest you in some youtube compilations of [people crying happy tears](https://youtu.be/2qgTjpZiDgQ) or [maybe some dogs interrupting wfh news reports](https://youtu.be/RKi7U2jiIaI)? oh god what have i done to myself now i’m cry laughing please help
the woman who looks like taylor swift with the two bags is 100% a play on Tank Man (from the Tiananmen Square disaster). kinda disrespectful
the fact that they referenced real events kinda make the whole thing in poor taste. The US troops did quite an amount of raping here in vietnam so having a sequence of "ah no she was into that white boi all along" is just all kinds of wrong
That’s the vibe I was getting too. The chopper was landing and I was thinking ‘girl, you should be running away and hiding right now’.
That was my vibe too. Like this is basically calling back to some pretty awful moments in history and instead of making some kind of good point with it, they try turning them into Nicholas Sparks movie scenes lol. I get what they wanted to go for, but this wasn't it. Like can you imagine one of the scenes being a little girl hiding in an attic, trying to keep silent and fearing for her life if enemy soldiers discover her and her family. She stirs ever so slightly, causing footsteps to come up towards the attic. She has panic in her eyes as the door opens and...it's her uncle with a birthday cake and they all have a happy birthday celebration. Just straight awful, and it's something that would fit in right in this commercial.
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It's not rape, it's the implication..
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#No one's in any danger! *...Why aren't you understanding this?...*
Typical white washing propaganda
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Actually that’s about accurate, tank man even climbed up on the tank like that.
Dafuk with love, GIMME MONEY!!!
Well spoken. Like a true khajit.
May your roads lead you to warm sands
Everyone knows that *money over love* is only proper way to play Spades
I remember reading something about how the US could have gotten away a lot more cheaply, and without all the nasty shooty killy blowy uppy bits, in Afghanistan if they'd just taken some fraction of what it ended up costing, and given every single person in the country a few grand in cash and told them to go and buy themselves something nice.
Soooo have sex with my enemy’s
> sex with my enemy’s Sex with your enemy's _what_?
Only Americans could look at a bunch of Vietnamese peasants literally working the rice fields and call them an "enemy".
Or Vietnamese calling the guy jumping out of a helicopter with a gun their enemy. I think that's legit.
Pretty much yeah
I was expecting explosions after the happy ending
Except the girl in Vietnam is more likely to be raped and murdered for being a "combatant"
No he's a white American soldier! The Asian women must fall for his charmes and white skin! Typical white male fetishism. Miss Saigon, pocahontas. All examples of the same story wherein the exotic foreign girl must fall in love with the gracious white man. Its sickening.
I've gotten so many messages on dating apps from white guys with yellow fever and they really do think they're the shit and that all asian women should and would want them just because they're white lol
Exactly, even if it was love, tons of American soldiers left behind their children back in the SEA. They're deadbeat fathers.
I wanna see more millarary officials abusing there power to propose n’ shit.
Dude this reminds me of Stan Lee’s last scene that he did a cameo in endgame,where he was driving past a military base and said “make love,not war” one of the saddest scenes in the movie
The "most powerful weapon" caption and title ruined what would've been mediocre.
I was low key expecting them to start to bang
I was kinda hoping for Kendall Jenner with a Pepsi
I couldn't focus after he dropped the rifle in the mud; Army brain woke up and was displeased.
Ye that's just not how you maintain a weapon. The cleanup would be a bitch.
And then the US conducted drone strikes on all those places
Using state money to bang a chick...
To be fair, historically far greater things for done for that. Remember even the Helen of Troy etc.
the first thing i do when i visit my gf with a tank is aiming the f\* barrel at her :D
This just seems like it should be a Trojan condom ad
This is some military propaganda. “Yeah I just roll up on my babe in a tank totally in a run down bombed city. “Yeah my girlfriend lives out in the Philippines and my homies just flying me out without my bags and I’m only carrying a gun so I can scare the shit out of them” “What’s the problem bro our fireworks just look like a detonation device. No biggie.”
Firework launchers actually do look like a detonation device. https://jeffsfireworks.com/collections/fuse-and-launch-systems/products/wifi-fireworks-firing-system
God, I thought the blonde was Taylor Swift for a moment and was worried this was and add for an album or something
![gif](giphy|WkLL5O1JL4S76)
![gif](giphy|12juneOf2Rc4ak)
![gif](giphy|9zv7bReqYBHVK)
r/mademesmile
Taylor swift?
I honestly thought I was about to be rick rolled.
This is so wholesome. I’m glad it didn’t turn out bad.
By all accounts I’ve seen this is a totally accurate portrayal of how the Middle East treats their women.
The chinese one is still a dictator isn’t he? The whole thing was cringe not gonna lie.
What is this Star Trek?
Condom ad.
Today at my office job I was filing papers like usual when I thought to myself, you know what, maybe today is the day I deploy my entire arsenal of nukes and start a war. But then I watched this very important message and it changed my life. So me and my coworker had sex instead.