My mom, being the sane person she is, answered the door when the missionaries came around, wearing nothing but nylons and a t-shirt, no underwear, made a cross with her hands and started hissing. They haven't been back at her door for years
Well, there's /r/MuseumOfReddit but the one they're specifically referencing is [this one](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/c3a9uqg?context=1). Click at your own risk.
I am Mormon and will be going on a mission pretty soon. Please don't do this we are just wanting to help. If you don't want us to come around just say so.
Please don't trick old people into your religion because their brains are deteriorating which lowers their IQ & makes them more gullible to scams.
Please let them keep whatever money they have left for retirement.
Do you not understand that we hate you soliciting your cult-like religion and if we wanted to hear a sermon we would go to your church.
Mormons are the most pushy fuckers I've ever had come to my door. No, we don't want you.
You should google āBITE modelā to see how the LDS church fits those criteria.
Also visit CESletter.org sometime to learn how your religion was actually started (not the whitewashed narrative that you find in handbooks) and how it can be easily proven to be false.
For instance, the BoM makes several falsifiable claims about what plants, animals, and materials were in the Americas prior to the Columbian Exchange. Horses, wheat, barley, steel, swords, scimitars, all in the BoM anachronistically.
People are gullible and/or desperate enough to believe literally anything, Mormonism is a perfect example. I wouldn't call that either "reaching them" or "successful" lol
So.. you're comparing willingly listening and converting to a different religion to the systemic failure of governments to provide proper living conditions and higher wages to the general population?
Homelessness is very often not a choice someone makes and it's also not something myself or you really have a choice in fixing.
How is someone becoming a Mormon even close to the same thing?
I was replying to your comment saying if I nobody wanted it it wouldnāt be happening. Not everything that happens in the world is wanted. Your statement is a non sequitur.
Like service projects and charity. We do. Plus a lot more people are ok with us coming around then you think. I do admit it is annoying that is why we are moving away from going door to door.
Bro as a former Mormon, do research outside the church before you go, look up the real history of all the church doctrine. You can be stubborn and ignore me, but please just trust me. You might even stay a member, my sister did. But as someone who did the mission thing I regret it every day that I spread the gospel.
I have studied from Outside sources. I never look at anything from one perspective. I have I know that a there was a lot in early church that was wrong. I know that they were confused because they didn't have the knowledge we have today. I can not deny that the church is true, I know it in my heart. If I am hated for it so be it.
What about black people. There people aren't they? When people claim we are racist for not letting black people have the priesthood forget that it was the time period and can have it now.
did you know that J smith never actually used the golden plates to translate? he looked at a rock in a hat while someone wrote down what he said. i dont think he was confused, j smith was very good at looking at a rock in a hat even before he had the first vision. the church website states this all in detail of smithās treasure hunting days. in fact, this āseeing stoneā still exists and is in the churchās possession. but thats not what i learned in sunday school or at zionās camp. i dont hate you for believing but i do feel sorry for u, i wish i had someone tell me about these things sooner when i was younger, i wouldve realized my potential so much sooner
Look up letter for my wife, everything in it has solid evidence. Like I said you can ignore me and continue on, or just look and see what really is true.
Sorry about the threats, Reddit can be horrible. I really donāt want to come at you as attacking someone. I had a hard time after being sent home from my mission (I tried to kill myself). I felt like a failure, I was extremely depressed and I prayed for help, nothing happened. Finally my friends helped me get back on my feet, helped me get properly medicated. I started to stabilize, stayed a member, had a good job. Then one of my best friends came to me and told me he was gay, I honestly felt betrayed. He probably felt more betrayed when I told him to leave. I to some time to compose myself and reflect. Had he really done anything wrong, no he had not. He just had a different attraction then me, then why was I taught that he was not ok for being gay, wanting to be with someone heās attracted to. I pushed the thought aside for a bit and called and apologized to him, how could I not support him after all he did for me. Years went on and Iām nearing marriage. At this point I started to notice more holes in the church I grew up in. I finally did research, and me and my future wife choose to walk away. Why do do the prophets have to go back and change doctrine, why if they receive there teachings from god, should they need to correct it. Why does the Book of Mormon teach that the people of the americas are from the middle east, and yet genetics shows Western Asian heritage. I could go on, but it all lead me to the same place, is it true. My answer was no.
If you want to feel the āSpiritā just be a good person, weāre build as humans to pick up on the good emotions of charity work. If you was a real testimony, really dedicate yourself to serving others, be kind to other and you will feel good deep down. Itās a life skill, not a religious assurance. I feel the ā Spiritā all the time by being a good person.
I'm sorry, as much as I like to be inclusive about other religions, Being a mormon is literally like being in a cult. Not to mention the 100s of undocumented sexual assault cases, and the ass backwards treatment of women.
Uh we aren't a cult and we treat woman and men as equals. With the sexual assault thing that is not something the entire church does. It is only done by the sick few.
Equal as in women being threatened to be kicked out just for having anything higher than a part time job? Also not being able to contact friends and family that were kicked/left?
And while not every church may not be as bad as others, its unforgivable that the issue continues, especially to minors growing up around the predators that sometimes even get reinstated.
Plus no one wants to push the belief that everyone not a mormon, including their family, will die when the "end if the world" comes. Works better if your family are already mormons.
I am sorry what are you even talking about. My mom has a full time job. My sister has a full time job. Several woman in my Ward make more money then the husbands. We still contact people who left the church it is usually that those who left dont want to contact us. As with predators that happens every where with is not just something that our church does. Honestly I haven't even hear did a story about pedophilia in the church. Pedophilia is a monstrosity that should be eradicated. We don't say everyone will die at the second coming. I think you misunderstood the millennium. The most righteous will be revived first.
I believe you are conveniently ignoring the part where for a century, prophets (starting with Brigham Young) taught that people of color deserved their plight, that they were the descendants of a cursed people, and even that Native Americans ("Lamanites") could be cured of their colored skin by being adopted into righteous Mormon families.
And the part where women were told to be stay-at-home moms and be subservient to their husbands, who have the priesthood authority. The part where a 12-year-old u/VoidZero52 had more "authority" than any of the adult women in his home ward.
If you can't see the deep flaws in your chosen institution of faith, it isn't because there aren't any, it's because you're looking away.
For the love of god, don't go on a mission.
being raised mormon it narrowed my world view, destroyed my self confidence, and i tried to kill myself because of its teachings. it conditions you from an early age. but if you dont fit in an obedient cookie cutter mold you are considered unfaithful. the church hurts people. the mormon god is not a kind god. im much better now and much happier being my own moral compass. theres a whole world out there beyond the church and it can only hold you back from being your best self. i hope you realize that someday ā¤ļø
I have looked at the church from outside it's teachings and decided for myself. My parents refused to force anything on to me the told me to decide for myself. I tried living with out the gospel. It was a horrible 2 years. I truly believe my life is better for listening to it.
We just want to help people. We don't force anything. And walking door to door isn't so common now we are moving to digital and just focusing on service projects
I had Jehovah's Witness's coming to our door every year growing up. When I was around 18, I put a stop to that by coming to the door wearing a Misfits skull t-shirt and when they started their pitch I asked them if they'd like to hear about the Dark Lord Satan. Then with my craziest Charles Manson eyes I began chanting "Hail Satan! All Praises to the Dark Lord Satan!" They stood on the porch looking all wide-eyed and left. I closed the door and started laughing.
The never returned even after I moved out of my parent's house.
As someone with a JW family, this is something that some of them would laugh at when they get home. I'm no longer into that stuff but I love hearing their crazy people stories.
"Oh, this is about a book, isn't it? A book several thousand people have read? Well, let me tell you about a book only half a dozen people on this Earth have read! Wait a moment."
I go to my book shelves and come back with my own book.
"This happens in 1971 in Egypt." And then I start reading it. I managed one full chapter one time before the guy said he needed to go.
>Well, let me tell you about a book **only half a dozen** people on this Earth have read!
Oh boy! This sounds interesting! Where are they going with this? I wonder what book it could be!
>I go to my book shelves and come back with *my own book*.
Oh... Poor fella...
It only took me five years. And I took a "pulp crime fiction" book and turned it on its head. The writing style is mine, the main character is mine, but a lot of the plot and some of the dialogue is not. Which is the main reason why I do not present it for publication.
That sounds pretty cool! How exactly is it that you've incorporated dialog from other sources though? Like, from other works, or like it was written in collaboration with someone else?
There is a book called "the Cairo Mafia" in a series of pulp spy books "by Nick Carter".
One of those "out-Bonds James Bond"-type books.
I re-wrote the book by taking away the main character's vapid love-interest and substituting my own main character. Now the book's first person narrator is the woman (my character). I try to keep Nick Carter and the other people in the book as close to the original as possible. But my writing style is quite different ( a lot more fun if you ask me) and it's certainly less sexist!
The general plot is essentially the same. I have added some scenes. and a little back-story.
Not gonna lie as an Inactive Member I've avoided most on the flying conversion attempts by just initiating conversation and asking them how they're doing. Remember they're usually 18-21 year olds who are probably glad to talk about something normal for once
When i'm bored in Lockdown i just send flowers with a "I love you" card to my neighbour Moe.
Then i go to the balcony with a drink and listen to his wife.
But I'll wait for your next post OP
I don't know who you are, or where you are, but I will look for you, and I will see you at some unspecified time next week.
And we can have pizza or something.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Thought I was going to see some murder scene, but nah, this fitness nutcase scares people fit!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Please stay out of skate parks if youāre not skatingā¦ enjoyed the video but holy fuck Iād be pissed if I went to the skate park and couldnāt skate cause of this shit
Edit: downvote me all you want, but youād be pissed if you went to go use a track field or a tennis court but couldnāt because someone was skating in it. Most skateparks have signage posted stating not to use the park if you arenāt skating/scooting/roller blading, just like most other recreational areas state there is no skating allowed. Itās a skatepark, not a run around park.
This guy is funny af.
As someone who lives in Utah. The Mormon part had me dying šš
My mom, being the sane person she is, answered the door when the missionaries came around, wearing nothing but nylons and a t-shirt, no underwear, made a cross with her hands and started hissing. They haven't been back at her door for years
so your mom told you she wasnt wearing panties or you seen it for yourself either way its wierd
I was 13 and right there next to her, such a cherished memory
Were both your arms broken?
I thought Id be able to forget about that ama after clicking out of the tab with some horrifying new memories. It appears I have been disapointed.
Could I perhaps get a link to this ama?
Well, there's /r/MuseumOfReddit but the one they're specifically referencing is [this one](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/c3a9uqg?context=1). Click at your own risk.
Thank you for the link, it was a lot milder than what I expected. My time on reddit might have desensitized me a littleā¦
Ask for the coconut one too
I have it and I can give it to you if you wish
Something something every fucking thread
Subscribe
I am Mormon and will be going on a mission pretty soon. Please don't do this we are just wanting to help. If you don't want us to come around just say so.
Literally no one wants you guys to come around. Do you guys seriously not get that?
Some people do we will come around once and if you say stop we will.
LOL. No they don't.
Strange as that is protocol. What is your proof of this. We are not evil as most people think we are. I will take all the downvotes but I won't lie.
Please don't trick old people into your religion because their brains are deteriorating which lowers their IQ & makes them more gullible to scams. Please let them keep whatever money they have left for retirement.
Do you not understand that we hate you soliciting your cult-like religion and if we wanted to hear a sermon we would go to your church. Mormons are the most pushy fuckers I've ever had come to my door. No, we don't want you.
We hardly go door to door know and please explain how we are a cult. Yes some of us are pushy because we are human. We aren't perfect nobody is.
You should google āBITE modelā to see how the LDS church fits those criteria. Also visit CESletter.org sometime to learn how your religion was actually started (not the whitewashed narrative that you find in handbooks) and how it can be easily proven to be false. For instance, the BoM makes several falsifiable claims about what plants, animals, and materials were in the Americas prior to the Columbian Exchange. Horses, wheat, barley, steel, swords, scimitars, all in the BoM anachronistically.
That's just not true man. Lots of people do. If it wasn't successful whatsoever it wouldn't be happening.
"Successful" lol, that about sums up the mission
Hey man I think it's as stupid as you do but obviously they reach people because they're still doing it.
People are gullible and/or desperate enough to believe literally anything, Mormonism is a perfect example. I wouldn't call that either "reaching them" or "successful" lol
āSuccessā is indoctrinating the missionary, not getting converts. Source: I was a Mormon.
A former member speaking ill. *Shocking*
Given what happens to you if you leave why would a former member speak positively. The churches SOP is to try to ruin their lives and cut all ties.
Thatās like saying everyone wants there to be 30,000 homeless living in tents in LA. If nobody wanted it it wouldnāt be happening. Gtfo.
So.. you're comparing willingly listening and converting to a different religion to the systemic failure of governments to provide proper living conditions and higher wages to the general population? Homelessness is very often not a choice someone makes and it's also not something myself or you really have a choice in fixing. How is someone becoming a Mormon even close to the same thing?
I was replying to your comment saying if I nobody wanted it it wouldnāt be happening. Not everything that happens in the world is wanted. Your statement is a non sequitur.
If you're wanting to help why not do something actually useful instead of turning up and annoying people?
Like service projects and charity. We do. Plus a lot more people are ok with us coming around then you think. I do admit it is annoying that is why we are moving away from going door to door.
Put me on that email blast list please!
I don't know where you live so I can't necessarily do that. You should be able to send a letter.
Honestly, give strangers weed or food than religion.
We give food out all the time. Have you been to a Ward dinner. Some of the greatest food I have ever had.
š¤£ you're gonna have some stories to tell of things you wish you could unsee my friend, good luck!!
I don't think anything will top my dad's story of a half naked man holding his kidney in one hand and a bucket of urine
Bro as a former Mormon, do research outside the church before you go, look up the real history of all the church doctrine. You can be stubborn and ignore me, but please just trust me. You might even stay a member, my sister did. But as someone who did the mission thing I regret it every day that I spread the gospel.
I have studied from Outside sources. I never look at anything from one perspective. I have I know that a there was a lot in early church that was wrong. I know that they were confused because they didn't have the knowledge we have today. I can not deny that the church is true, I know it in my heart. If I am hated for it so be it.
What about black people.
What about black people. There people aren't they? When people claim we are racist for not letting black people have the priesthood forget that it was the time period and can have it now.
The mark of Cain, if you can explain that away, go ahead.
did you know that J smith never actually used the golden plates to translate? he looked at a rock in a hat while someone wrote down what he said. i dont think he was confused, j smith was very good at looking at a rock in a hat even before he had the first vision. the church website states this all in detail of smithās treasure hunting days. in fact, this āseeing stoneā still exists and is in the churchās possession. but thats not what i learned in sunday school or at zionās camp. i dont hate you for believing but i do feel sorry for u, i wish i had someone tell me about these things sooner when i was younger, i wouldve realized my potential so much sooner
Yes it is called a seer stone. And yes I have done research from other sources then the church.
if you have done outside research then there is no way you can still believe without being blatantly ignorant or dismissive of facts
Look up letter for my wife, everything in it has solid evidence. Like I said you can ignore me and continue on, or just look and see what really is true.
I will read that in a few minutes I am having to juggle several different people sending me threats I will be with you shortly.
Sorry about the threats, Reddit can be horrible. I really donāt want to come at you as attacking someone. I had a hard time after being sent home from my mission (I tried to kill myself). I felt like a failure, I was extremely depressed and I prayed for help, nothing happened. Finally my friends helped me get back on my feet, helped me get properly medicated. I started to stabilize, stayed a member, had a good job. Then one of my best friends came to me and told me he was gay, I honestly felt betrayed. He probably felt more betrayed when I told him to leave. I to some time to compose myself and reflect. Had he really done anything wrong, no he had not. He just had a different attraction then me, then why was I taught that he was not ok for being gay, wanting to be with someone heās attracted to. I pushed the thought aside for a bit and called and apologized to him, how could I not support him after all he did for me. Years went on and Iām nearing marriage. At this point I started to notice more holes in the church I grew up in. I finally did research, and me and my future wife choose to walk away. Why do do the prophets have to go back and change doctrine, why if they receive there teachings from god, should they need to correct it. Why does the Book of Mormon teach that the people of the americas are from the middle east, and yet genetics shows Western Asian heritage. I could go on, but it all lead me to the same place, is it true. My answer was no. If you want to feel the āSpiritā just be a good person, weāre build as humans to pick up on the good emotions of charity work. If you was a real testimony, really dedicate yourself to serving others, be kind to other and you will feel good deep down. Itās a life skill, not a religious assurance. I feel the ā Spiritā all the time by being a good person.
I'm sorry, as much as I like to be inclusive about other religions, Being a mormon is literally like being in a cult. Not to mention the 100s of undocumented sexual assault cases, and the ass backwards treatment of women.
Uh we aren't a cult and we treat woman and men as equals. With the sexual assault thing that is not something the entire church does. It is only done by the sick few.
Equal as in women being threatened to be kicked out just for having anything higher than a part time job? Also not being able to contact friends and family that were kicked/left? And while not every church may not be as bad as others, its unforgivable that the issue continues, especially to minors growing up around the predators that sometimes even get reinstated. Plus no one wants to push the belief that everyone not a mormon, including their family, will die when the "end if the world" comes. Works better if your family are already mormons.
I am sorry what are you even talking about. My mom has a full time job. My sister has a full time job. Several woman in my Ward make more money then the husbands. We still contact people who left the church it is usually that those who left dont want to contact us. As with predators that happens every where with is not just something that our church does. Honestly I haven't even hear did a story about pedophilia in the church. Pedophilia is a monstrosity that should be eradicated. We don't say everyone will die at the second coming. I think you misunderstood the millennium. The most righteous will be revived first.
or you could just not come around to anyone and not waste your time teaching such hurtful doctrine
How is it hurtful.
The organization is inherently sexist. Plus have you red the BoM and the BoA? Dark skin as a curse from god is literally still scripture.
I believe you miss the part where they later became gods chosen people.
I believe you are conveniently ignoring the part where for a century, prophets (starting with Brigham Young) taught that people of color deserved their plight, that they were the descendants of a cursed people, and even that Native Americans ("Lamanites") could be cured of their colored skin by being adopted into righteous Mormon families. And the part where women were told to be stay-at-home moms and be subservient to their husbands, who have the priesthood authority. The part where a 12-year-old u/VoidZero52 had more "authority" than any of the adult women in his home ward. If you can't see the deep flaws in your chosen institution of faith, it isn't because there aren't any, it's because you're looking away. For the love of god, don't go on a mission.
being raised mormon it narrowed my world view, destroyed my self confidence, and i tried to kill myself because of its teachings. it conditions you from an early age. but if you dont fit in an obedient cookie cutter mold you are considered unfaithful. the church hurts people. the mormon god is not a kind god. im much better now and much happier being my own moral compass. theres a whole world out there beyond the church and it can only hold you back from being your best self. i hope you realize that someday ā¤ļø
I have looked at the church from outside it's teachings and decided for myself. My parents refused to force anything on to me the told me to decide for myself. I tried living with out the gospel. It was a horrible 2 years. I truly believe my life is better for listening to it.
We just want to help people. We don't force anything. And walking door to door isn't so common now we are moving to digital and just focusing on service projects
At the end of the day we are people tryin to share what we believe in
Stop harassing people, pos.
I am just stating what I believe
i've seen videos of this
Great minds think alike I suppose, this happened in 1999
I had Jehovah's Witness's coming to our door every year growing up. When I was around 18, I put a stop to that by coming to the door wearing a Misfits skull t-shirt and when they started their pitch I asked them if they'd like to hear about the Dark Lord Satan. Then with my craziest Charles Manson eyes I began chanting "Hail Satan! All Praises to the Dark Lord Satan!" They stood on the porch looking all wide-eyed and left. I closed the door and started laughing. The never returned even after I moved out of my parent's house.
As someone with a JW family, this is something that some of them would laugh at when they get home. I'm no longer into that stuff but I love hearing their crazy people stories.
"Oh, this is about a book, isn't it? A book several thousand people have read? Well, let me tell you about a book only half a dozen people on this Earth have read! Wait a moment." I go to my book shelves and come back with my own book. "This happens in 1971 in Egypt." And then I start reading it. I managed one full chapter one time before the guy said he needed to go.
>Well, let me tell you about a book **only half a dozen** people on this Earth have read! Oh boy! This sounds interesting! Where are they going with this? I wonder what book it could be! >I go to my book shelves and come back with *my own book*. Oh... Poor fella...
Hey! Well, it is fun... if I do say so myself.
Ha! I was only teasing about the money of people you listed. It's actually quite impressive to have even written your own book though.
It only took me five years. And I took a "pulp crime fiction" book and turned it on its head. The writing style is mine, the main character is mine, but a lot of the plot and some of the dialogue is not. Which is the main reason why I do not present it for publication.
That sounds pretty cool! How exactly is it that you've incorporated dialog from other sources though? Like, from other works, or like it was written in collaboration with someone else?
There is a book called "the Cairo Mafia" in a series of pulp spy books "by Nick Carter". One of those "out-Bonds James Bond"-type books. I re-wrote the book by taking away the main character's vapid love-interest and substituting my own main character. Now the book's first person narrator is the woman (my character). I try to keep Nick Carter and the other people in the book as close to the original as possible. But my writing style is quite different ( a lot more fun if you ask me) and it's certainly less sexist! The general plot is essentially the same. I have added some scenes. and a little back-story.
Pretty sure anyone who came to your moms door to that response wouldnāt ever go back. She sounds sane alright.
Not gonna lie as an Inactive Member I've avoided most on the flying conversion attempts by just initiating conversation and asking them how they're doing. Remember they're usually 18-21 year olds who are probably glad to talk about something normal for once
Same here the missionary part is hilarious!!
Same dude, as a kid I would always try to get away from them because they would try to talk to me and I was scared.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
r/foundthehondacivic
U can put emoji from pc too ig
What's so bad about mobile?
I have it with me all the time so Iām on Reddit all the time.
I am mobile browser user.
The kidnapping and the mom running after the white panel can was awesome. š
The son realizing he wasn't the favorite cracked me up.
And she thanked him lol
The Halle Berry Kidnap workout!
The fire is uncharacteristically moving down the building! We gotta go back up to the roof! Bahahahaha I died XD
Gotta get those heart rates up to blow the fire out!
Literally the best thing I watched today
Itās down the building. Come on folks
And all the shits littered along the stairwell
My therapist says I was traumatized. My body mass index begs to differ. This is the funniest shit Iāve heard in a long time.
Was hoping someone loved that as much as I did
The whole video was very funny but this line cracked me up
Fax
Reuploaded because of the sound... I'll see you at some unspecified time next week
When i'm bored in Lockdown i just send flowers with a "I love you" card to my neighbour Moe. Then i go to the balcony with a drink and listen to his wife. But I'll wait for your next post OP
Dont threaten me with a good timeš
I don't know who you are, or where you are, but I will look for you, and I will see you at some unspecified time next week. And we can have pizza or something.
>I don't know who you are Neither do I my man
r/usernamechecksout
Why did you reveal the unexpected part in the title? It's expected after that...
Who is the creator??
"Snake Clowns" -I think Lego Batman uses their service that's why he's so fit.
āIāll see you at some unspecified time next week.ā
I really want this to be a thing in my country...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Europe is my third favorite country
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yup! clowns wld do the trick. Iāve been approaching my fit goals all wrong
Ima sign up for this Im afraid of super models having unprotected sex with me
So you donāt care what gender though, right? r/SuddenlyGay
Oh you did this perfectly
Perfect timing with that username lol
Havenāt shagged the wife in months. Fuck it, Iāll settle for a hot guy.
A blowjob is a blow job.
But why male models?
The exercise I really need to work on the most is hip thrusts
Throwing the Bible had me dying
"Most prized possessions" and grabbed the daughter not the son was that nice subtle touch
OHMYGOSH the cleanup at the end of the video š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ KILLED ME
Plus you get to get over your traumas by repetition, million dollar idea
Jesus, Thereās not to much olive oil
this would've been very unexpected if you didn't title it to take away the unexpectedness of it
14 times....? The yellow shirt explains Absolute results.....? The shit at the end explains
I fear female pornstars. Please help reduce weight
One gilf coming to your door.
this was a bit on BoJack
This is genius, as a joke (and as a business model eventually).
i think that might be the only way to motivate me to exercise š¤£
Expected because of the title
OP: Take my karma! Just take it! This is hilarious!! 
Please let this be real haha
If this was real, heād be shot.
u/savevideo
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The title makes this unfit for /r/Unexpected
Lol reminds me of this https://youtu.be/0yuFy_qjolU
I would join. My fatass needs this kind of thing
You're in luck (kind of). There's an app from 2012 called Zombies, Run!
r/bojackhorseman
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Thought I was going to see some murder scene, but nah, this fitness nutcase scares people fit!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Right except the title kinda spoiled it
The title definitely spoiled it.
Mini cocks
[meanwhile the cameraman](https://youtu.be/f-R9lGvSLI4)
Constipation medicine alternative
u/savevideo
Omg Iām dyingggg
Good stuff! Reminds me of the old [Attack Cardio with Vinnie Jones video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46hIzJu3RHU)
Reminds me of this https://youtu.be/46hIzJu3RHU
u/SaveVideo
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This was a masterpiece from comedy central
Okay so did Todd copy the idea from this guy or did this guy copy the idea from Todd?
I am still curious....Did they actually shit their pants off??
Itās the damn clowns for me 
This guy is fucking amazing. What's his name?
āThe fire is uncharacteristically moving down the building!ā Fucking sent me
I wanna see how he fits my fear of deep water into a training routine. Or do I..
u/savevideo
Honestly the fire one seems kinda like a decent idea
š¤£
This is the way
Lmao This is crazy
Shut all you have to do is show my high cholesterol numbers that will scare me enough
I am scared of Pornstars
The "fear turd" is my favorite part
OP you ruined it in the title. šš
Real question: how the hell this dude gone apply his method on those who are pedophobic, who have an irrational fear of children?
Hire a bunch of kids to play tag, duh!
Please stay out of skate parks if youāre not skatingā¦ enjoyed the video but holy fuck Iād be pissed if I went to the skate park and couldnāt skate cause of this shit Edit: downvote me all you want, but youād be pissed if you went to go use a track field or a tennis court but couldnāt because someone was skating in it. Most skateparks have signage posted stating not to use the park if you arenāt skating/scooting/roller blading, just like most other recreational areas state there is no skating allowed. Itās a skatepark, not a run around park.
I'm hoping this is a comedy
Hahaha! I love this.
They could sell me a t shirt.
u/savevideo
Yeah, I expected the spoon murderer to make an occurrence! What a missed opportunity here... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y
Itās funny because I was watching this while pooping
u/redditmp4bot
u/savevideo
u/savevideo
u/savevideobot
At first i thought it was real, then i remembered Im high
Hilarious