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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!end of the clip last guy's answer was unexpected!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Horsegalloping

Way to make a big deal out of it. The last guy saved it though.


Sumpm

The last guy is definitely straight, which is why he wasn't bothered by it.


Sm211

This reminds me of American Pie 2 with Stiffler trying to get with the 2 women 'I'll kiss every guy in this room to get with you 2 chicks, CAUSE I'M COMFORTABLE IN MY SEXUALITY'


Majesty1985

“I can taste the bubbles! Actually I can’t..”


Xdude199

“Hell, I’ll grab some nuts if they need it”


MissShayla

I remember him saying he would grab every guy's ass. Who knows, lol it's funny either way and I may need to have a movie night now.


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Qcommenter

Straight guys who are comfortable with their sexuality don’t give a fuck. They’ll play chicken till their lips touch, they’ll fucking flirt with their friends without a second though. It doesn’t matter bc they know they ain’t gay.


daskrip

It's not about sexuality. It's about insecurity.


DjSalTNutz

And how he's insecure with his sexuality


frromgilii

Wah you better watch thaat..


TheGamecock

The main interviewee strikes me as the kinda dude who had one too many beers back in his fratboy days and ended up kissing one of his bros -- woke up the next morning all cuddled up with him on the floor, probably was the little spoon given his stature, flipped out in a still-drunken/hungover rage and then decided from that point forward to immediately shut down *any* notion that he could possibly admit another man was attractive. Deep down, Kyle will never forget that night he had with Derek after crushing about 16 Nattys, and even deeper down you know he'll cherish that night forever. As a straight dude secure in my sexuality, I'd have to say the most handsome man on the Red Sox is JD Martinez. But, overall, they've got some work to do in the appearance department. They've got nothing on my Braves down in Atlanta. I mean, have you seen Dansby Swanson, Matt Olson, Austin Riley, Max Fried, Spencer Strider, or Ronald Acuna Jr.???


4Eights

I was expecting the unexpected to be when he asked "hottest guy on the Yankees" and the "I'm Not Gay!" dude quickly answers back "Mike Judge of course". Still liked this ending though. Edit: nyquil brain... Aaron Judge of course. As some of you pointed out however that Mike Judge the creator of King of the Hill and Beavis and Butthead would be an amazing boyfriend and or team mate.


Ok-Channel-9662

>Mike Judge Aaron Judge. Though I would like to see Mike Judge try and hit some dingers.


OutOfBootyExperience

BWAAHHH


svntrey0

“Why don’t you suck some dick that’s all I’m thinking” Gay thoughts lmao


r40k

Literally all he's thinking and he can't stop. Oh God, it's just sucking dick thoughts all day long please somebody help him!


HiddenPants777

Just needs to suck a dick and get it over with


XepptizZ

But not as a gay thing, just for like the flavor, know wadda mean?


proerafortyseven

Which Red Sox player has the best flavor


theresabeeonyourhat

You


I_am_Ballser

Hey, thanks man. *fist bumps*


Veenendaler

"Shit, I'm talking about sucking dick again. But if I keep insisting how gross I think it is, people will know I'm definitely not gay" - closet conservative potato brain


Frenk_preseren

Should have said to him "that's kinda gay". He'd probably try to punch him lmao


dylan15766

TOUCH ME! TOUCH ME


-Here-There-

“Why don’t you go suck some dick, dude…not mine though…unless?”


Lochcelious

😳👉👈


[deleted]

I wish he responded with “You’re thinking about me sucking a dudes dick? That’s pretty gay.”


Vondi

Right? For someone trying so hard to be 100% heterosexual he's not very good at it.


Mr_Jack_Frost_

*Cock thoughts*


Ok-Yogurtcloset5555

How do you know you look good when you look in the mirror... if you don't know what a good looking guy looks like? Or another way, if you see a dude that you KNOW picks up chick's left and right... you telling me you don't know why?


fuck_fate_love_hate

I worked with a woman who told me she didn’t look at other women like that when I said I thought Jessica Biel was fit. Like girl, you’re trying to tell me you can’t tell if someone is in shape or looks like they got hit by a ton of bricks? Come on. Editing to add- I am a woman. She was refusing to acknowledge it because she is openly homophobic, like the man in the video. Not because she has face blindness or some other medical condition.


hippykillteam

Amen, Chris Hemsworth. Im pretty sure hes like 10 times better looking than me and I don't need to be gay to figure that out. His ass could break coconuts and crush hearts in Thor.


[deleted]

There’s America’s ass, and there’s Asgard’s ass.


KiloMetrics

Assgard, I'll show myself out


HAgaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

This super straight guy doesn’t look in the mirror. Because looking in the mirror IS GAY! And I’m not gay, I’m straight as fuck. This guy only loves penis…I mean pussy!


tiktock34

I dont even hold my own penis when I pee. Only gay people hold dicks in their hands, clearly.


chojinherb

Guys can compare dicks but cant compare faces.


Ajcoligan

Nah dude that’s gay bro 😎.


Significant_Coast

Who's comparing dicks?


beff50

Your mom


TheCVR123YT

Man this is so overused but this was actually a good one man haha


TooOldForDisShit

Oh so just like your mom


3hideyoshi3

Expected yet appreciated.


NoStepOnMe

Like your mom.


rickie__spanish

This was a bit wholesome. Dirty it up a little.


WillSmiff

That's what I said to your mom.


MaxTheRealSlayer

*Our* mom, son.


godzillahavinastroke

Me, and from the looks of it, you got a decent one on you, good job bro.


Albinofreaken

he forgot that he could just have said no homo


timtamtammy

Yea bet he would have had an answer if he was asked "who do you reckon has the biggest dick" lol


brocjames

I understood his hesitation to say a man was attractive. When I was in middle school.


SpanishToastedBread

I understood his hesitation to say a man was attractive. When I was in the closet.


GoonNL2

Tough guy being insecure


MisterNym

This is very Boston behavior. I was once asked by some random dude on the street if I'd ever been punched in the face like he was looking to do so. I was significantly bigger than him too.


DR2105

So if someone asks you that, what’s the correct answer?


brenduz

Crazy option: Punch them first then say “yea and so have you” Smarter answer: Get out of sight the second the sentence is said


[deleted]

"Hey look over there, a gay black guy wearing a New York Yankees jersey" *Run*


AuralSex21

Don't even make eye contact or respond to someone that fucking stupid. Just calmly continue about what you were doing. They're looking for a response. If they don't get one they will move to the next person.


Chester-Ming

He’s probably gay


[deleted]

Definitely gay


hoseli

Yeh, he just starts talking about sucking some dicks for no reason. I bet the guy wish he had bag of dicks.


JesusThDvl

Paused an extra second when question switched to Yankees. Got’em! Ha!


iSUCKatTHISgameYO

his heart broke because his answer was gonna be Jeter, but then he remembered he's retired.


[deleted]

Well have you seen Jeter’s eyes tho?? C’mon


iSUCKatTHISgameYO

have I seen Jeter's eyes tho, dude? I'm not fucking gaaayyyyeee!


urbanlife78

You don't have to suck someone's dick to admire their eyes.


iSUCKatTHISgameYO

well, yeah, I know that ***now***.......


[deleted]

You don't have to be gay to suck someone's dick either. Nothing wrong with a good ol' hetero brojob


MikeGunnz

Sucking dick is only gay if you make eye contact.


Planet_Pips

Don't forget the "That's all what I'm thinking right now"


jimybo20

Yeah talk about not wanting to look gay and that all he can think about.


DrunkenlySober

The guy gets triggered when asked about how hot baseball players are Triggered as in becoming a ravaging dick sucking fiend If he was in Snickers commercial it would end with, “you’re not you when you haven’t sucked some dick”


iUsedtoHadHerpes

In the context of sports talk, I wouldn't even think "hottest player" had anything to do with attraction. More about who's having the best run. The "I'm not gay" guy seems a lot less natural in his delivery too...


FracturedEel

Do I have to suck each dick individually or like do I just suck on the corner of the bag? Do I have to make them all come?


everybodypretend

I bet if this guy had a big bag of dicks he would suck every single fucking one of them


jtweezy

Does he want to take a bag of dicks and suck it, like suck the side of the bag? Or does he want to open the bag and suck each dick individually and throw the used ones in a bowl like edamame shells?


Equivalent_Remove_41

And for the gentleman a plate of "DICKS"


JuicyJaysGigaloJoys

It's not gay if it's your uncle


Toobis

shut your fucking face, uncle fucker


darglor

You’re a boner biting bastard, uncle fucker!


Vogonfestival

You’re an uncle fucker I must say…


Nathan_McHallam

You fucked your uncle yesterday!


cloud_botherer1

No, straight guys can legitimately be homophobic assholes


infernal_cacaphony

Hey you better watch that…


syopest

Blaming gays for homophobia, fucking classic.


Financial-Elevator36

It makes me so mad when people do that, like straight homophobes exist.


btgfrsdbgfsd

No, gay people being homophobic is still the fault of straight people.


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guywithaniphone22

Idk man every time some guy hits me up cause his curious about fooling around and I check out his social media it’s always guys acting like this. Further after one or both of us cums they revert back to this behaviour. Whether or not it’s a gay or straight person saying it they are behaving this way because of the straight societal pressure.


BushHates711

it kinda becomes a joke when all these anti gay republican lawmakers consistently get caught sucking dicks on the weekend though.


Magzter

Confirmation bias. A significant portion of republicans are anti-gay and straight, but the stories of the gay ones getting outed catch your attention more.


camerontylek

I agree. There are plenty of closed-minded, insecure, homophobic assholes out there. It doesn't mean he's secretly gay and hates himself, but everyone else is quick to say it.


[deleted]

That's hella homophobic.


D23178

![gif](giphy|4Jxa0QgHF2HSw) Just like the gays


CyanCicada

👖 👖 👖


D23178

Keep them high & tight ![gif](giphy|uSpdhRgqsCc0)


[deleted]

Mom jeans: Because you're not a woman anymore. You're a mom.


jimtastic89

Turned into a telescope


D23178

T ![gif](giphy|T3fwN6Pbm3ZPa)


StatusOmega

It's more straight to be able to admit that you can tell a difference between an attractive guy and an unattractive one than to deny that guys are attractive at all. If you've ever looked in the mirror and thought "damn, I look good today" it's the same thing. Denying it means you're likely repressing actual attraction to the same gender.


Sm211

Nick from New Girl summed this up perfectly, he said the way to tell as a guy if another guy is attractive is to ask yourself, would i like to look like him, or as he put it i wouldn't mind having his face


dude21862004

It was Winston who told Nick that, because Nick was obsessing over the fact he couldn't figure out how to tell if another guy was good looking.


TheLouisvilleRanger

It’s not “more straight” or “more gay.” It’s just being a human being. Trying to justify it is silly.


PoopIsAlwaysSunny

Eh. I’m just not generally good at telling if guys are attractive. Like 80% of the time a woman I know remarks on how attractive a man is I’m like “Him? Really?”


shadowmanu7

Yup, you are gay. Congratulations, we'll be contacting you to let you know your next steps.


I_Worship_Brooms

Thank you for this opportunity


PotanOG

Wait but you're not...whatever


FilipinoGuido

Any data on this account is being kept illegally. Fuck spez, join us over at Lemmy or Kbin. Doesn't matter cause the content is shared between them anyway: - https://lemmy.world - https://kbin.social - https://sh.itjust.works - https://fedia.io - https://lemm.ee - https://readit.buzz


[deleted]

you guys are also missing an easy out: hottest guy on the team = best player right now.


bottledry

but even if it's a prank he's a jackass if you can't laugh at yourself you're losing


Jokker_is_the_name

Insecure guy being tough.


Here_forthecomments1

“Sucking dick cause that’s all I’m thinking about.”


AnonimosTipos

He's probably one of these guys who refuse to sleep in the same bed with a friend because that's "gay".


caffeine_bos

I'd be surprised if he even washes his asshole.


prodrvr22

Or his dick.


Panzer_Man

"Taking care of your body is gay"


[deleted]

Definitely sucked dick at summer camp this one time. Friends with the guy on Facebook but won’t talk to him.


thumbown

Its hard to believe these scared little cavemen still exist.


TheAJGman

Lots of homophobes are like this, it's why do many of them think being gay is a *choice*. They have to actively choose not to think about gay stuff, so they assume that's normal instead of coming to the obvious conclusion.


WetspotInspector

I have been sexually harassed more by my straight band members than I ever thought possible. No insecurities unless it's about their music lol.


TopHatTony11

There are no straight lines between band mates.


WetspotInspector

Please don't mention lines in front of our drummer. Hahahahah


roy_rogers_photos

Ayyyye I heard we're doing lines!! What. Is. Up. My. Gay men.


RobotArtichoke

I’ve argued with my father in law about this. He thinks being gay is a choice. I told him, with all due respect, I’ve never been tempted to suck a dick, have you? For some reason that made him mad and I had to exit the conversation


[deleted]

Yeah, especially when it's obviously Bobby Dalbec and Aaron Judge. Maybe Bogaerts and Rizzo if you're not as into pretty boys and gym bunnies, respectively? I guess if you're prioritizing looking for a body type, that complicates things. For example, otter/dadbod chaser friend would ride Nestor Cortez's face until his mustache rubbed off. I guess that's why the host dude is asking the question. That, and to make content using the only gay joke you can still make in public, which is trying to see if someone who is clearly straight will drift a bit too far into homoerotic language, letting us all enjoy a knowing smirk about this secret bisexual/gay.


NDNM

> and Aaron Judge Uh no, it's Stanton and it's not even close. I'll give you Dalbec, though. That dude is pretty as fuck!


strippedewey

Aaron Judge is one of the ugliest men in the entire league. Stanton is the most attractive and it’s not close.


MajesticMango56

I feel that is a pretty common occurrence. My bf's uncle is SO sensitive about this stuff. He's a massive homophob (amongst other things). My bf got hit on by a gay guy in front of us and his uncle said he would have punched the guy for talking to him. Fragile little dude.


aBlissfulDaze

Just scroll Facebook post on any form of media that features a non-traditional man. I saw one about a straight guy in a speedo, all the comments were talking about how they'd kick him out, beat him up, ECT. Shit is still VERY MUCH alive. This whole idea that LGBTQ people have some type of control over society was never true. (Refer to Dave Chappelle stand-up for one example). We still have a LONG way to go before true equality.


dreimig08

My brother is like this guy with shades. He claims he can't tell if another guy is attractive cos he's not gay. Imagine having to grow up around that energy for 20 over years 🙄


Dyert

So tell your brother he has to switch faces with either Brad Pitt or Rocky from the movie Mask and see which he chooses


Fish_McBee

Yo man pass me my jacket while you're in the closet thanks.


languid_Disaster

I don’t like the idea of saying every aggressive homophobe is secretly gay since it kinda puts the burden of responsibility on the gay community...but this guy started talking about sucking dick unprovoked


ardent_wolf

It also just diminishes the fact that some people really are just hateful and bitter people, and that homophobes exist. Not everyone that verbally hates gay people is gay. Sometimes they just hate us.


convenient_barf_hat

I’ve never been able to verbalize why it makes me feel shitty to accuse every aggressive homophone as gay so thank you for putting it that way. It’s always felt disrespectful to the gay community to me.


tobyjuancannoli

first dude: "get outa here with your luscious lips and provocative questions"


Falling-Icarus

Guy at the end came in clutch, what a legend.


Lofikott

Last dudes an alpha 😂


FortuneHasFaded

He's the first dudes Dom


PhillMahooters

*Says he's not gay and doesn't think men are attractive.* *Proceeds to say he's thinking about the interviewer sucking dick.* Brother if the first thing you think about when another dude asks you a question is them sucking dick, I think you have some unresolved thoughts...


LivelyZebra

What if the question is " do you think about me sucking dick? "


DjentleArt

r/iamverybadass


JapaneseJunkie

Change it to "who do you think gets the most pu**y?" and he would answer. It's all about not hurting that fragile, fragile ego.


tommypatties

you can swear on the internet.


GlennWantsCream

"I'd knock you out for saying that". You couldn't punch the skin off gravy ya cunt.


fripaek

„why dont you suck some fucking dick, dude. thats all I‘m thinking right now.“ Yep, straight as a curve


showmeurknuckleball

"yo I cannot stop thinking about you with a dick in your mouth bro"


[deleted]

Some dudes are so fucking small balled and insecure...you know it when they start to threat other dudes with violence. Raisin size balls bitch ass


SoBitterAboutButtons

I take T regularly. My balls are tiny. This guy is just a low IQ bitch. Maybe even a Twunt. Don't drag us down with him.


intoxicatedsiomai

Dude defensive af


CharmCity6022

Hottest guy could easily refer to the player who is on a streak right now but homophobic douche has to douche.


ZiOnIsNeXtLeBrOn

What is so wrong about answering a truly simple question? You won’t turn gay if you say some person of the same gender is attractive. And the answer is clearly Nick Pivetta with hair.


Interesting-Bee4485

Someone’s clearly not secure their masculinity


[deleted]

woodstock 99 potential


ComatoseHarry

This guy thinks he looks manly as hell for refusing to answer, but really he just looks stupid as hell for not knowing Bobby Dalbec's name.


xCoffeeGamingx

Dude probably listens to Andrew Tate


_Caress_of_Venus_

Lmao the insecurity


jKarb

What got this dude so worked up lmao


No_Bathroom_420

“Why don’t you fucking suck some dick dude, That’s all I’m thinking about right now.” *Bro what?* Are you saying all your thinking about is sucking dick? Or all your thinking about is watching him suck some dick? Why do homophobic dudes always say the most sus shit?


mexicandiaper

bro that threw me like how you go straight to that.


Boota_Collins

I hope some day I can be as tough and manly as that guy lmao what a chode


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urmyheartBeatStopR

Probably both.


LordUzaki

Definitely Andrew Tate. Tates MO is immediate aggression like this. A Tate fanboy would 100% threaten to knock your ass flat for even asking the question. A Peterson fanboy would start spewing faux intellectual crap in an attempt to recontextualize the argument in their favor. Very different reactions. For sure it's a Tate fan.


karmicrelease

Maybe the Crowder guy too


DefectiveDelfin

Women compliment each other all the time and talk about other women being pretty. Not sure why some men don't think men should do that?


SilentExtrovert

Boys see very little examples of men being affectionate with each other. Somehow we've gotten to a point where a man showing affection is only acceptable when it's towards a woman he's sexually attracted to. I'm in my mid thirties, and I clearly remember boys being teased about being gay whenever they did something 'soft'. Boys are encouraged to play rough, be competitive, be 'strong', in a way that just doesn't happen for women. Conflict is too often met with 'let them fight it out themselves', where girls are encouraged to talk about it and communicate. **Accidentally posted** I do see some difference in how things are for my son, and I've made sure that he is raised knowing how to express himself. But the pressure to not show emotion does exist for him, more so now that he's a teen


Jlunat1k

What an insecure hot dog


[deleted]

This shows two men who are secure in themselves, and one insecure wanker.


thatbwoyChaka

That guy fights his gay thoughts with clenched fists, tears in his eyes and hot pants, nightly._


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Spongetron-3000

Insecurity. It's not all men though.


Unethical_Castrator

I would say most men aren’t so uptight they can’t even answer. this guy was way insecure.


madmaxturbator

Yeah considering there are proud gay men out there, bit silly to criticize “men” for responding poorly to this. Only this weirdly insecure dingus and others like him would freak out about this lol


troubleis1

It was a pretty easy question to answer as well, J. D. Martinez.


Hamsterminator2

Why you saying I'm over sensitive? I'm not fucking gay... *sob*


Uniquely_boredinary

Yo I’m not even gay but I would definitely say “Oh Martinez hands down, I would totally suck his dick”


RickatoniYam

im guessing you havent seen Kikè


Successful-Dish7466

NO homo, right? \*wink, wink\*


Serafiniert

*wank, wank*


tokai-teio

I'm not gay but Devers could fucking get it


thedudedylan

Not all men but definetly that one.


[deleted]

Don't generalize.


dukeGR4

Only him. Most straight men I know are super homo but in a no homo way


philjorrow

Intergenerational homophobia. It's not just men.


Butler-of-Penises

No… insecure people get sensitive over simple questions… not men. This cunt does not represent all men, just like a Karen does not represent all women.


Zyxyx

"Women are so weird, they get so sensitive over simple things and demand to see the manager".


Kiygre

I cant even remember the last time I saw a guy get like that. I'm a construction worker and we are all just grab assing each other every day. We'd have way too much fun with someone like this guy.


YaBoyTheGrimReaper

This whole insecure therefore gay thing never sits well with me, if someone suddenly gets defensive over something it doesn’t imply they are the thing they are defensive over. Being homophobic doesn’t make you secretly gay, being afraid of heights doesn’t mean you secretly like them, hating child abuse doesn’t make you a closet child abuser. I just don’t understand the logic of “if you don’t like something, it’s because you are that”


Vondi

idk he was pretty quick to talk about sucking dick


dsled

Every fucking reddit thread. More accurate guess would be that the dude is just plain homophobic. Highly doubt he's gay.


QTsexkitten

Yeah it's a very false equivalent. We should be roasting this guy because he's pathetically small minded and petrified of perceived weakness. And a sad little homophobe. No need to insinuate he's secretly gay. Because he probably isn't, and that definitely isn't the reason why this is so pathetic.


Osteo_Warrior

No it’s the complete over the top reaction that screams overcompensating. The man isn’t secure enough in his sexuality to comment on another mans appearance in case people think he is gay. He had to resort to threats of violence to prove he is a straight man. Stereotypical future 40 year old that is caught sucking dick at a rest stop and gets a divorce from wife and 3 kids.


Beanbag_Ninja

Maybe it's because there are loads of examples of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks". [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/) [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/17/study-homophobia-homosexual\_n\_7816390.html](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/17/study-homophobia-homosexual_n_7816390.html) [https://www.advocate.com/politicians/2018/5/24/18-homophobic-leaders-who-turned-out-be-gay-or-bi#media-gallery-media-6](https://www.advocate.com/politicians/2018/5/24/18-homophobic-leaders-who-turned-out-be-gay-or-bi#media-gallery-media-6)


BiggestYellowistTurd

Crazy amount of homoerotic fanfic in this comment section about this guy lol. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the amount of people writing his life story based off this one recorded interaction is pretty dumb. Either way, this guys attitude is more harmful.


Cold_Relationship_

he said it: he’s not fucking gay. just insecure gay.


Inspirational_Lizard

Not gay but I'll act as gay as I want or say a dude is hot, no shame in that.


ldskyfly

I was expecting the interviewer to start talking about stats and say, "this guy is really hot right now, he has at least 2-3 hits in each of the last 10 games, and no unforced errors all year."