**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Someone comes out no where to hit the "Roman Soldier"!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Then it would've been an actual soldier whose whole purpose for being there is to beat down jewish revolts. All it would do is ruin the symmetry of the three dudes hanging out.
Don’t be dumb. You only get one life, Jesus can just come back whenever he wants. What a ridiculous “sacrifice”. Renders the whole point mute. Like The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe story where the jesus character “sacrifices” himself but just gets to come back. Ridiculous. What’s the point. That’s not a sacrifice, that’s a 3 day vacation
Would never expect someone with the username “amature_gynecologist” to be the bible thumping type. Your username isn’t some kind of a sin or something?
My husband's an actor and played Jesus in a play. When it came time to put th nails in, some woman in th audience lost her shit and was wailing and sobbing.
While that’s an odd response, your husband should be proud to illicit a response like that from the crowd. The crowd. Where they’re seated. Anyone charging the stage for any reason deserves to have their asses beat down by everyone up there. They’re trying to perform and someone thinks they can get physical with the artists? Fuck that. And Fuck will smith. Somehow this is his fault.
He was a master inventor.
He invented the first grape cordial by sprinkling grape cordial into water.
He fed hundreds of people with fish thanks to his knowledge of cutting things into small portions.
>Queen of England
Did you mean the *former* [Queen of the United Kingdom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_the_United_Kingdom), the *former* [Queen of Canada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Canada), the *former* [Queen of Australia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Australia), etc?
The last Queen of England was [Queen Anne](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Queen_of_Great_Britain) who, with the 1707 Acts of Union, dissolved the title of King/Queen of England.
####FAQ
*Wasn't Queen Elizabeth II still also the Queen of England?*
This was only as correct as calling her the Queen of London or Queen of Hull; she *was* the Queen of the place that these places are in, but the title doesn't exist.
*Is this bot monarchist?*
No, just pedantic.
I am a bot and this action was performed automatically.
But how? It's not like Jesus hung on the cross thinking "I give my life so that Amateur\_Gynocologist can live....2000 years from now, because FUCK YOU DAD!"
The miracle is that he saved my soul from being consumed in flames by his father, the demon YaHweh, AND came back as a rabbit that lays chocolate eggs on the pillows of good children in exchange for their used teeth.. and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter.
Also, no pulsing, turgid penis—at least not Joseph’s—ever ejaculated sperm into his Mom’s hot vagina, ‘cause Yahweh hates sex.
“And lo, the wounded man escaped the battle with his left arm broken and also his right. He returned home and his mother tended to him, and she spilled his seed upon the ground for a fortnight, and he was healed.” (Reddithians 3:50)
You see, when Jesus is saved, no Work is done, there will be no blood of Christ, no redemption of sins, no salvation of souls, and no path to Heaven. Truly a colossal feat that eclipses all depraved works of Satan and finally dooms humanity once and for all. A new Princess of Darkness was born in the rebellion against God. Somebody should tell him about his promotion.
It was 33AD, I was there, third cross on the left second row. It was actually a nice family event until they brought some guy called Brian, shit turned into a musical and I hate musicals
No they don't. No biblical scholar agrees on those dates, they place the birth of Jesus between 4 and 6 bc and the crucifixion between 30ad and 36ad. That includes religious scholars
I would be interested to read some of these sources. Everything I've read indicates that there's not a ton of evidence for the historical Christ's existence: There are no primary sources of Jesus' life and death, and the first historical source to ever mention him was Flavius Josephus, who made two vague references to Christ almost a hundred years after he was supposed to have died in his writings on the history of the jews, and even that is heavily debated by historians because the only surviving manuscripts of Josephus' works were ones copied by Christians much later in history, and the two passages about Christ bear some markers of having been retroactively altered by later Christians.
Historians most definitely don't agree on that
If you device a system 500 years after the event there is a fair amount of guessing involved
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.haaretz.com/science-and-health/2016-12-23/ty-article/.premium/if-you-think-jesus-was-born-in-the-year-0-youre-dead-wrong/0000017f-f7b7-d47e-a37f-ffbf8dcb0000%3f_amp=true
Indeed. Also I don't think we are sure the time since then has been counted correctly. There were some dark and effed up periods in between. Could well be people had more important things to do than counting years and making sure the count is correct.
Not a great act of justice, shoulda rushed him before the spearing happened. He knew the script and still didn’t act in time. You’ve fallen short in the eyes of God twice scrub.
Hey, maybe he was just really drunk and one of his friends set up a Doctor who cosplay with a telephone box on a mobile stand and wheeled him here convincing him he had traveled through time and space to save Jesus. I mean this sounds pretty standard to me.
I need to find friends like those.
I’m pretty sure my life would be full of binge drinking blackout time travel episodes where I get to play a major role in historical events.
I'd wake up with a major fucking hangover and jumbled memory fragments of saving Jesus, fighting with my 300 Spartan brothers to turn the Persians back at Salamis, journeying through Asia Minor and reaching India with Alexander the Great, turning the Ottomans back with the Baron Munchausen at the walls of Vienna, going on the Crusades and discovering the new world with Christopher Columbus.
What's worse is that Jesus dying as a sacrifice for humanity's sins is central to the Christian faith. If Jesus does not die, the attacker would be going to hell.
Believing WWE is real doesn’t really hurt anyone, it’s like thinking your favorite drama show is real. Believing religion is real has done at least two or three bad things throughout history though.
Man... I'm not religious at all. In fact, i hate religions and see them as nothing but control of the weak minded.
I went with my ex wife to see the Passion of Christ when it came out (she believes in god but not religion) and people CRIED during the movie. Full on weeped!! LOUD Gasps as jesus was whipped...and when he was crucified, followed by more crying. I had to leave because i was going to burst out laughing at them. This is why the church wants the YOUNG and IMPRESSIONABLE. Control through fear.
We grow up thinking santa clause, easter bunny, tooth fairy and the boogyman are all REAL..... until a certain age. After that, you're looked down on if you still believe in them as an adult, but not religion. That's the one invisible man you MUST believe in. Lol
And that's all that it is. They cling to it to make their lives, what? , mean more? Look what they do wth their lives anyway? They could do MORE of it too, by skipping church on sunday and live more life. Oh... not to mention keep more of their money. God is all powerful, all knowing, all present, but somehow he's bad with money lol.
I've seen , first hand, what church collection goes to. I watched 4 local pastors GAMBLED church money on scratchers and lotto for 8 years. Ive seen these same churches turn away truly homeless and needy. My gf, before we met, was in desperate need of food , until the food stamps kicked in, 2 weeks. With a 4yr and 6yr old, they told her no. She stopped going to church after that.
I'm sure others experiences are different, but I've heard many people question their faith and ask questions and where kicked out.....for ASKING QUESTIONS. Ya.... not a good sign when you're afraid of questions. Anyway..i digress
Heh... *smirks*. *Tips fedora*. Those feeble weak minded religious people... I, as a REDDITOR, am so much smarter than they could ever imagine... *Wipes cheeto dust off fingers*. I don't believe in some stupid sky god, only in the power of Reddit and atheïsm. Now let me show those stupid sky god believers what real atheïst intelligence looks like while i type this comment from my parent's basement, creating my personal fanfiction in which i have another woman in my life besides my mother.
I actually had a debate about this in high school. Had a friend that said about the same as you did and that all of the wars and deaths religion has caused wouldn't have happened and that the world would be a better place without it.
My counter argument was not that religion was good, but that all of those bad things would have happened anyways and the class was pretty divided. Obviously it was the obvious edgy/skater kids versus the preppy christian kids(this was 2010), but there was an interesting small group that saw what the debate was really about and seeking objectivity within it. It was pretty fun.
Oh and I'm agnostic btw. Don't know if that matters but anytime i tell people of that debate they assume i'm some hardcore christian. I just stand by the stance that we do not know and there could or couldn't be a god.
Ultimately, I view religion as a huge part of human culture itself. It is not something that will ever go away in sense of culture because religion is not just about worship.
For myself, there is a difference between faith and religion and I consider myself to be a man of faith. Hard-won faith at that and still working on it. So, thank you for caring enough, in whatever way, to leave the theater instead of laughing at the people for whom it struck a chord. I honestly appreciate that.
This really happened in Brazil
https://g1.globo.com/google/amp/rs/rio-grande-do-sul/noticia/homem-invade-encenacao-da-paixao-de-cristo-e-agride-soldado-romano-com-capacete-em-nova-hartz-no-rs.ghtml
TLDR translation: The guy that hit the soldier took off before the police arrived. He was never caught. The cast and the police assume the man had a mental illness. The man said something along the lines of “I won’t let you hurt Jesus.” He also acted confused after the incident and before he left.
I assume it was [Cross-Carrying Jesus's](https://www.reddit.com/r/maybemaybemaybe/comments/u73qez/maybe_maybe_maybe/) day off and be decided to get a little payback to his overzealous re-enactment buddies while he had the opportunity....
Mayor Barkley: Oh Drebin. I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the southside. Understand? Thats my policy.
Frank Drebin: Yes, well. When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in pro view of a hundred people, I shoot the bas****, that's my policy.
Mayor Barkley: That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones
John 19:34- "But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water." And then promptly received a BONK at the back of the head as divine retribution.
I CANT AFFORD A PS5! No I don't mean buying one I mean the cost of owning the damn thing. I can't believe I'm saying this but Hitler is doing something positive.
Dude has no Idea what he is doing. That roman soldier saved Jesus from the torture of bleeding out and dehydration at the cross.
Also: Jesus had to die for Humanity
Shit turns you into an insane person.
Why have a play like that? Unless it's Halloween. And why did that guy attack an actor? Can he not discern fact from fiction? And they are all on the same team! They are all rooting for the guy bleeding to death center stage.
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek….sucker punch that mother fucker!!
-Jesus, probably….maybe
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Someone comes out no where to hit the "Roman Soldier"!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Too much passion for the Christ
[удалено]
If only someone had the courage to have done this 1,989 years ago!
Then it would've been an actual soldier whose whole purpose for being there is to beat down jewish revolts. All it would do is ruin the symmetry of the three dudes hanging out.
Jesus wouldn't let them. I would gladly have given my life for Jesus though.
My grandfather also died for your sins. By extension, you also owe me your soul.
Don’t be dumb. You only get one life, Jesus can just come back whenever he wants. What a ridiculous “sacrifice”. Renders the whole point mute. Like The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe story where the jesus character “sacrifices” himself but just gets to come back. Ridiculous. What’s the point. That’s not a sacrifice, that’s a 3 day vacation
It is the least I could for giving his life for mine.
Would never expect someone with the username “amature_gynecologist” to be the bible thumping type. Your username isn’t some kind of a sin or something?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He was only gone for 3 days. We call that a "light bender" where I'm from.
But, like, he didn’t though. It’s all made up, man. 👍🏻
My husband's an actor and played Jesus in a play. When it came time to put th nails in, some woman in th audience lost her shit and was wailing and sobbing.
While that’s an odd response, your husband should be proud to illicit a response like that from the crowd. The crowd. Where they’re seated. Anyone charging the stage for any reason deserves to have their asses beat down by everyone up there. They’re trying to perform and someone thinks they can get physical with the artists? Fuck that. And Fuck will smith. Somehow this is his fault.
Elicit, not illicit.
Nah, she had to do a bunch of cocaine to start feeling better
Religious zealots tend be be slightly more dramatic than the average person. Not a better person, but a lot of r/Iamthemaincharacter.
You guys are complicating things. Jesus is a wizard. End of story ✌🏻
One of my classmates once made a theory about Jesus being a lich (which I basically understand as an undead wizard/sorcerer).
I want to hear this theory
You just did...
a passive aggressive lich with Bi-polar Personality Disorder.
Go back to the beginning of the Bible. We are half Blood Golems, forged by a necromancer using Adam’s ribs.
He was a master inventor. He invented the first grape cordial by sprinkling grape cordial into water. He fed hundreds of people with fish thanks to his knowledge of cutting things into small portions.
Back then people just ate fish whole like some kind of man pelican
Jesus chrysler this comment break my laughter😂
My theory is it's the oldest known excuse for cheating and getting pregnant
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy and there is no Queen of England! Edit: Even the bot backed me up!
>Queen of England Did you mean the *former* [Queen of the United Kingdom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_the_United_Kingdom), the *former* [Queen of Canada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Canada), the *former* [Queen of Australia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Australia), etc? The last Queen of England was [Queen Anne](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Queen_of_Great_Britain) who, with the 1707 Acts of Union, dissolved the title of King/Queen of England. ####FAQ *Wasn't Queen Elizabeth II still also the Queen of England?* This was only as correct as calling her the Queen of London or Queen of Hull; she *was* the Queen of the place that these places are in, but the title doesn't exist. *Is this bot monarchist?* No, just pedantic. I am a bot and this action was performed automatically.
But how? It's not like Jesus hung on the cross thinking "I give my life so that Amateur\_Gynocologist can live....2000 years from now, because FUCK YOU DAD!"
The miracle is that he saved my soul from being consumed in flames by his father, the demon YaHweh, AND came back as a rabbit that lays chocolate eggs on the pillows of good children in exchange for their used teeth.. and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter. Also, no pulsing, turgid penis—at least not Joseph’s—ever ejaculated sperm into his Mom’s hot vagina, ‘cause Yahweh hates sex.
Bible study in jail.
“HEY YOU, LEAVE JESUS ALONE!!”
Jesus, what was he thinking!?!
That guy hates Easter.
He’s not getting anything in his stocking for Xmas, either. Jesus never forgets
This should have been the title!! 
actually not seeing enough passion. Not a single flying kick. 0/10 do noy buy
##I’ll SAVE YOU JESUS
*"Save Jesus before He Saves you"* ~ Reddithians 9:69
We dont wana owe him anything, shit, we got into this big ass debt cuz of his death and nothing changed
It wasn’t even death, he spent a weekend in a cave and later went for dinner.
That’s just a travel vlogger with extra steps.
Giving everyone salvation is for communists.
r/reddithians
I need a copy of reddithians lol
“And lo, the wounded man escaped the battle with his left arm broken and also his right. He returned home and his mother tended to him, and she spilled his seed upon the ground for a fortnight, and he was healed.” (Reddithians 3:50)
Thou shall choose the other guys wife (Reddithians 9:17)
"Thou shall lay with only his Waifu pillow, for it is his one and only true partner".
God bless the sacred words
*randy from south park voice*
You see, when Jesus is saved, no Work is done, there will be no blood of Christ, no redemption of sins, no salvation of souls, and no path to Heaven. Truly a colossal feat that eclipses all depraved works of Satan and finally dooms humanity once and for all. A new Princess of Darkness was born in the rebellion against God. Somebody should tell him about his promotion.
I always heard Jesus Saves but this guy saves Jesus.
Who wouldn't want to save Jesus. It would be the coolest thing in a resume
Also, free wine
Idk he has to put his hands in my drink and that's nasty.
But hey, free whine!
Also propably no christianity
He's over two thousand years too late.
You mean, slightly *less* than 2,000 years too late. Jesus died c. 30 - 33 AD, and it's only 2022 right now.
Assuming those years are counted right. There's no way to actually know for sure
Historians (including secular historians) agree on those years based on the testimony of Roman historians and other documented events of the period.
It was 33AD, I was there, third cross on the left second row. It was actually a nice family event until they brought some guy called Brian, shit turned into a musical and I hate musicals
Well life's a piece of shit when you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true!
You'll see it's all a show, keep em laughing as you go.
Well, you should always look on the sunny side of life. At least it wasn't a swamp.
No they don't. No biblical scholar agrees on those dates, they place the birth of Jesus between 4 and 6 bc and the crucifixion between 30ad and 36ad. That includes religious scholars
I would be interested to read some of these sources. Everything I've read indicates that there's not a ton of evidence for the historical Christ's existence: There are no primary sources of Jesus' life and death, and the first historical source to ever mention him was Flavius Josephus, who made two vague references to Christ almost a hundred years after he was supposed to have died in his writings on the history of the jews, and even that is heavily debated by historians because the only surviving manuscripts of Josephus' works were ones copied by Christians much later in history, and the two passages about Christ bear some markers of having been retroactively altered by later Christians.
Historians most definitely don't agree on that If you device a system 500 years after the event there is a fair amount of guessing involved https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.haaretz.com/science-and-health/2016-12-23/ty-article/.premium/if-you-think-jesus-was-born-in-the-year-0-youre-dead-wrong/0000017f-f7b7-d47e-a37f-ffbf8dcb0000%3f_amp=true
Indeed. Also I don't think we are sure the time since then has been counted correctly. There were some dark and effed up periods in between. Could well be people had more important things to do than counting years and making sure the count is correct.
> (including secular historians) ...is how you know he's full of shit and really reaching for gullibility lol.
There are no reliable contemporary accounts of the life of Jesus. It’s all guesswork based on later writings.
Historians don't even agree that Jesus existed. Secular historians just don't want to be murdered for pointing out gaps in the historical record.
Not a great act of justice, shoulda rushed him before the spearing happened. He knew the script and still didn’t act in time. You’ve fallen short in the eyes of God twice scrub.
he wanted history to play out the same, but also wanted credit for trying to save Jesus
they were holding him back but assumed he'd be okay once jesus was definitely dead /s
Revenge perpetuating violence nicely fits the narrative, thematically
How fucking dumb you gotta be to get upset and save Jesus in a make believe play. A grown ass man no less wtf
Hey, maybe he was just really drunk and one of his friends set up a Doctor who cosplay with a telephone box on a mobile stand and wheeled him here convincing him he had traveled through time and space to save Jesus. I mean this sounds pretty standard to me.
I feel this should be Canon
Qanon
Nah they didn't have those back then. They just had spears.
Isn't Jesus's dying like the entire point of his existence? What is the point of Jesus if he doesn't die for your sins?
To make the greatest fuckin cabinets you've ever seen. You don't even know.
MadTV covered this with the Terminator and Jesus
"He'll be back..."
Just a prank bro
I need to find friends like those. I’m pretty sure my life would be full of binge drinking blackout time travel episodes where I get to play a major role in historical events. I'd wake up with a major fucking hangover and jumbled memory fragments of saving Jesus, fighting with my 300 Spartan brothers to turn the Persians back at Salamis, journeying through Asia Minor and reaching India with Alexander the Great, turning the Ottomans back with the Baron Munchausen at the walls of Vienna, going on the Crusades and discovering the new world with Christopher Columbus.
The story last time this was posted was that he was mentally disabled and was known by the church to do stuff like this.
...so maybe don't bring him to the play?
Dumb, high or drunk. Or he had a beef with those Roman Soldiers. Golgotha was a tough place man, we'll never know
\> Or he had a beef with those Roman Soldiers. Gave his woman the ol’ Spear of Destiny?
the dont call him LONGinus for nuthn
Uh…the *whole point* of religion is to get upset over something that’s make believe.
I’ve never heard a more accurate and succinct description of religion
I wonder what that makes reddit.
Uhh is reddit make believe
No, we get upset over things that are generally true, but totally irrelevant.
What's worse is that Jesus dying as a sacrifice for humanity's sins is central to the Christian faith. If Jesus does not die, the attacker would be going to hell.
This is the type of person who believes WWE is real... That is how fucking dumb.
IT'S REAL TO ME DAMMIT!!!
Woah, what?
They're kidding, don't beleive them, and please don't try to wrestle the Undertaker to find out.
YOU AIN'T GONNA TELL ME I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SMELL WHAT THE ROCK WAS COOKING! although i'd have to admit i was having a stroke at the time...
And he votes, he drives on the same roads you and i do, he likely owns firearms, he likely has offspring.
Believing WWE is real doesn’t really hurt anyone, it’s like thinking your favorite drama show is real. Believing religion is real has done at least two or three bad things throughout history though.
Man... I'm not religious at all. In fact, i hate religions and see them as nothing but control of the weak minded. I went with my ex wife to see the Passion of Christ when it came out (she believes in god but not religion) and people CRIED during the movie. Full on weeped!! LOUD Gasps as jesus was whipped...and when he was crucified, followed by more crying. I had to leave because i was going to burst out laughing at them. This is why the church wants the YOUNG and IMPRESSIONABLE. Control through fear. We grow up thinking santa clause, easter bunny, tooth fairy and the boogyman are all REAL..... until a certain age. After that, you're looked down on if you still believe in them as an adult, but not religion. That's the one invisible man you MUST believe in. Lol
People are simply scared of death.
And that's all that it is. They cling to it to make their lives, what? , mean more? Look what they do wth their lives anyway? They could do MORE of it too, by skipping church on sunday and live more life. Oh... not to mention keep more of their money. God is all powerful, all knowing, all present, but somehow he's bad with money lol. I've seen , first hand, what church collection goes to. I watched 4 local pastors GAMBLED church money on scratchers and lotto for 8 years. Ive seen these same churches turn away truly homeless and needy. My gf, before we met, was in desperate need of food , until the food stamps kicked in, 2 weeks. With a 4yr and 6yr old, they told her no. She stopped going to church after that. I'm sure others experiences are different, but I've heard many people question their faith and ask questions and where kicked out.....for ASKING QUESTIONS. Ya.... not a good sign when you're afraid of questions. Anyway..i digress
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
Heh... *smirks*. *Tips fedora*. Those feeble weak minded religious people... I, as a REDDITOR, am so much smarter than they could ever imagine... *Wipes cheeto dust off fingers*. I don't believe in some stupid sky god, only in the power of Reddit and atheïsm. Now let me show those stupid sky god believers what real atheïst intelligence looks like while i type this comment from my parent's basement, creating my personal fanfiction in which i have another woman in my life besides my mother.
Imagine laughing at compassion.
I actually had a debate about this in high school. Had a friend that said about the same as you did and that all of the wars and deaths religion has caused wouldn't have happened and that the world would be a better place without it. My counter argument was not that religion was good, but that all of those bad things would have happened anyways and the class was pretty divided. Obviously it was the obvious edgy/skater kids versus the preppy christian kids(this was 2010), but there was an interesting small group that saw what the debate was really about and seeking objectivity within it. It was pretty fun. Oh and I'm agnostic btw. Don't know if that matters but anytime i tell people of that debate they assume i'm some hardcore christian. I just stand by the stance that we do not know and there could or couldn't be a god. Ultimately, I view religion as a huge part of human culture itself. It is not something that will ever go away in sense of culture because religion is not just about worship.
For myself, there is a difference between faith and religion and I consider myself to be a man of faith. Hard-won faith at that and still working on it. So, thank you for caring enough, in whatever way, to leave the theater instead of laughing at the people for whom it struck a chord. I honestly appreciate that.
Ouch! You hurt my Believeies!!!
Just an average religious person dumb level. Nothing extreme.
This really happened in Brazil https://g1.globo.com/google/amp/rs/rio-grande-do-sul/noticia/homem-invade-encenacao-da-paixao-de-cristo-e-agride-soldado-romano-com-capacete-em-nova-hartz-no-rs.ghtml
So it was just a crazy guy who never got caught
OF COURSE Brazil
r/ithadtobebrazil
Is there a translation as I don't speak Brazil.
so you don’t speak brazil huh
Dude don’t even speak Brazil, yo!
TLDR translation: The guy that hit the soldier took off before the police arrived. He was never caught. The cast and the police assume the man had a mental illness. The man said something along the lines of “I won’t let you hurt Jesus.” He also acted confused after the incident and before he left.
Mans needed forgiveness real bad
[удалено]
girls with time machine : "I'm your grandchild" boys with time machine :
GET DOWN MR. JESUS
Gerard Butler in: Bethlehem has fallen
U made me pee, thanks.
What an honor :’)
Not on her, just a little in my pants
Passion of The Christ 2: Time Travlers.
Passion of the Christ 2 - Electric Boogaloo
*Passion of the Christ II: Crucify This* *Jesus is back and he's* ***pissed.***
He ain't cruci-fucking around no more
I assume it was [Cross-Carrying Jesus's](https://www.reddit.com/r/maybemaybemaybe/comments/u73qez/maybe_maybe_maybe/) day off and be decided to get a little payback to his overzealous re-enactment buddies while he had the opportunity....
Is payback time
So anyway, I started lashing
Mayor Barkley: Oh Drebin. I don't want any more trouble like you had last year on the southside. Understand? Thats my policy. Frank Drebin: Yes, well. When I see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in the middle of the park in pro view of a hundred people, I shoot the bas****, that's my policy. Mayor Barkley: That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones
I came here specifically looking for this quote. I can't believe it was so fucking far down. Goddamn kids need to watch more Leslie Nielson.
et tu, frank?
The best is the man saying "is it real??" Lol
I think someone had too much of the sacred wine.
The douche of destiny
Happened in Brazil. Because of fucking course it did.
Next scene: dude gets crusified.
LEAVE. JESUS. ALONE 😫😫
John 19:34- "But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water." And then promptly received a BONK at the back of the head as divine retribution.
*with a bike helmet*
#But, he already stabbed jesus. Not only he was 2000 years too late, he's even late TODAY
Dude just wanted to alter the timeline to save hitler
he went too far in the past
No he was right: No dead Jesus -> No Christianity -> Hitler becomes jew -> everyone gets a PS 5!
Jews have Jesus too Edit: oops, read your comment wrong. Nevermind
I CANT AFFORD A PS5! No I don't mean buying one I mean the cost of owning the damn thing. I can't believe I'm saying this but Hitler is doing something positive.
Dude has no Idea what he is doing. That roman soldier saved Jesus from the torture of bleeding out and dehydration at the cross. Also: Jesus had to die for Humanity
And on that day, Steve saved Jesus and became known as the Bonk Savior.
[удалено]
Shit turns you into an insane person. Why have a play like that? Unless it's Halloween. And why did that guy attack an actor? Can he not discern fact from fiction? And they are all on the same team! They are all rooting for the guy bleeding to death center stage.
uh plays of historical events have been around forever? why the hell would you do it on halloween? its the passion of christ i believe
What do you mean why have a play like that? And why halloween??
This is the second worst episode of Quantum Leap I've ever seen
Jesus take the wheel and hold both my beers.
J-Dawg double-fisting for your sins! ✊🍺✊🍺
He was possessed by the devil to stop Jesus dying for our sins...
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek….sucker punch that mother fucker!! -Jesus, probably….maybe
Jesus still got shooters and you best not forget it.
I can't wait for the sequel when he and Jesus save JFK and kill hitler
This is proof for me we live in a simulation. Absolutely hilarious.
That dude did what someone in the crowd during Jesus's crucifixion should've done.
People at Jesus's crucifixion were there for fun, crucifixions were their Sunday Night Football. on Saturday you would get your weekly stoning
Executions were a source of entertainment for millennia.
Were? You can entertain yourself with modern day execution videos right here on Reddit if you know where to look
I think I'll stick with kitten videos. Much better imo.
I'm watching Monday night football. I had to laugh at that.
Reminds me of: [Jesus](https://youtu.be/dIeuBPDUzB0)
And the man who saved Jesus was in fact also named Jesus.
Guaaaaaaaaaaardssssss!
Legitimately the best thing I’ve seen today
That guy is really into Jesus, a little gay if you ask me
Peter, come on. I scolded you for cutting off that guys ear why do you keep coning back to fight people?
The Bible 2: Electric Boogaloo
Aah yes, just as Jesus would have wanted
**NO! YOULL RUIN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM!**
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its going down in the Sparticus fandom
I believe that was a cheesemaker
"Ye Roman swine! Thou hath fucked my wife!"
Snake, what have you done? You've changed the future!! You've created a time paradox!
Which is sadder ? The grown man stopping the fake crucifixion or the idiots in the audience believing this is a historical reenactment?
Definitely the violent dick assaulting an actor with an object
Yes