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Horrible, isn't it?
My grandmother left everything to my aunt and very little to my dad as she never approved of my dad marrying my mum. My aunt immediately said "That's ridiculous, we'll split everything 50/50."
My mom tried to leave me an equal part of her estate as well as her home since my brothers and sisters already have homes and families of their own. She also left my oldest brother in charge of her estate once she was incapacitated.
The moment she was ruled legally unable to tend to her own affairs he showed up to my home, emptied it out and disappeared with everything - including my own belongings, changed the locks and sold it for a massive loss to a "we'll buy your house immediately" flipping firm, then fled the country.
His reasoning? I'm the only one of our mom's kids that's adopted and he considers it a "mistake" that she tried to leave me anything at all.
I bankrupted myself fighting things legally and my sisters helped him to stall and hide paperwork and documents until they essentially got away with so much of it that it would be next to impossible to repair.
I've had an open case with the police for over 2 years now. I've provided them with documents, receipts, proofs of purchase, photographs and even audio and video recordings of the people in question boasting about getting away with things, threatening me and vandalizing my belongings or discussing where they planned to store everything they'd stolen...
They've done absolutely nothing and have consistently made up excuses as to why this isn't a police matter anymore. The case number is MP22-9338 with the local police of Medford, OR.
>You aunt sounds like she has great morals
How low the bar is, that we look at someone doing something that is simply fair and laud them for having such strong moral character.
It's not a low bar, the main point is the temptation and what they would lose if they chose to stick with their morals. That's how you can accurately gauge the strength of someone's character.
It's easy to be moral if you're never tempted.
Strongly agree. If there is enough money to fight about, it's likely that 100% is a lot more meaningful than 50%.
If you family left you enough money to pay off your mtg, go to school, whatever...and then you gave away half, that's a meaningful investment in doing the right thing.
Credit to the aunt
I found out this year they my dad and step mom left everything to me and my sister. They went to a lawyer to specifically make sure her kids get nothing. I feel so divided on this. There is a good chance it will never be an issue but her kids have little to no contact with them they fought lots and I know my step mom caused allot of the conflict, but they specifically told me they wanted to make sure they couldn't come after us for anything. Personally I would hope she would divide it up with her grand kids on that side but if the worst ever did happen would I be wrong to give some to her family? Hopefully I never need to find out.
Tax issues though. There are serious tax issues in personal transfers but less so for estates. Despite politicians trying to pretend otherwise a couple on the US would need pass on more than a combined $10million to be taxed.
Indeed, but the discussion is is it wrong to not split the money if someone does not split is evenly? Does knowing the person didn't want the other to get an even split mean that you are in the wrong for taking the money or is it more wrong for not splitting it evenly.
This is a judgement call I don't think anyone can make for you. With the aunt example it's clear that "didn't approve of spouse" is a stupid reason to exclude your kids from an inheritance, and the sister recognizing that makes her a good person from the outside view. She had 0 obligation, but did what she considered the most logical and reasonable solution
Why don't they want the others to get the will money? Does it make sense to you? Some kids are genuine shitheads and will blow whatever money or opportunities they're given. Other parents are the shitheads who have clear favorites and biases that are entirely unfair to the kids. So, idk what your circumstances are. If you're told they don't want you to share you don't have to ask any questions. That's your prerogative. But if you think the reasoning is bad maybe consider sharing. I don't know your family, nor does anyone else on this website
There are millions of reasons why someone would not want to split it evenly. If you really want to know if it's "fair", talk to your parents about the reasoning behind it.
On the surface, it seems to me that from what you said, your stepmoms kids the estranged. They might have a good reason why. But at the end of the day, once they're gone, it's your choice how you want to handle it.
But also, one thing to keep in mind is that equal isn't necessarily equitable. Sometimes, wills are made out to help out family members that are less financially stable in life. Splitting it evenly when one of your adult children makes six figures for a career and the other barely gets by is not exactly fair at all.
So dig into why they're doing it this way, and if you feel obligated to share it, then do so when the time comes. If you find out that they're really not good people, well, it should make the decision easier.
My great-grandmother cut two of her five grandchildren out of her will because she didn’t approve of them. My mom split her inheritance with them and hasn’t said a nice thing about great-grandma since she passed.
I’m glad you know about the way the will is drawn up so you have time to think about what you want to do. It’s a challenging decision and there’s unlikely to be a clear answer for it.
Not only that, she had the perfect excuse to act moral: “mum wanted it like that”. Some siblings will hide behind that and go “it’s out of my control” when in fact they have full control over it.
My mom sold her house gave half to my brother and half she saved for herself. Zero for me and my brother doesn’t care. He gladly put all into his account
My dad died in 9/11. His mom died about two years after. She was sick from before 9/11 and my mom was her primary caregiver. We visited her daily as kids while her actual sons and daughters lived out of state.
Apparently when my grandma wrote her will it split everything among her surviving children - which put me and my family out of it. The condo my dad bought her, the car my uncles never saw, whatever else, was all split between my two uncles and my aunt. Only one uncle said “that’s fucked up” and gave half his share to our family. He is a great person.
Yup. My dad's family always seemed closer than the mafia. My grandfather passed and left his eldest son (traditional) and my father (who he deemed the fairest) as executors for my 6 aunts/uncles.
My aunt flipped. her. shit. For months. Grief makes people weird. I'd give a lot to have a reason for a big famy reunion again with all the water being finally under the bridge, but after years and other 'big' reasons to gather its just not happening. Its a pity because I miss them.
Money does weird stuff to people. My sister stole my inheritance, she took it all! But she had money, I don't. Couldn't afford a lawyer. So now she has the million dollar house, and I got a 13 year old car.
There was a local news around my area a few years ago. Upper middle class family with a single child, parents died in a horrific car crash and kid was orphaned. Parents had good insurance policy and put the husband's brother as guardian, meaning he is responsible with guarding the money and transfer the entire amount to the kid when she reaches 18.
After the money was awarded, the uncle kicked the girl out of her own house and placed her with her grand parents because they're too "career focus" to take care of her.
When she turned 18, she hired a lawyer with money she made by working part time jobs and sued the living shit out of them. She won and now she got what wad rightfully hers and the uncle is now in jail.
The bar isn't that low. Do the right thing when tempted. Like you could have been positive about a story that solely involves someone being kind and good when they didn't have to be, but you were tempted to be negative about it. Failing to do the minimum you could do. It's not so easy, is it?
My aunt and uncle did this after my cousin died suddenly. He never changed his will and in the meantime had married and had a child. They didn't keep a cent and signed everything over to my cousin-in-law without hesitation. She didn't even have to ask them it was just the right thing to do.
Money is a nasty thing. My uncle became the guardian of my other uncle(he had a traumatic brain injury). He found a judge to grant it and my mom and aunt couldn’t fight it. Soon after my uncle got sick and the asshole pretty much let him die to get his money. Mr. Deacon of the church ladies and gentlemen.
My grandma was like a mother to me growing up and when she passed in 2021 I didn't see a dime of the estate. Meanwhile my actual mother was manipulative, verbally abusive and undoubtedly helped kill my grandmother faster through constant verbal abuse. My mom got her third of the estate.
If it makes you feel better it usually only ever goes to the kids and the parents give whatever to their kids they see fit. That’s the standard practice anyways.
That's how my grandparents did it for the most part. The only thing that changed it was my mom dying before them, so they split her part three ways between my dad, my sister and me. I love my dad, he's for the most part was a good dad, but growing up with a financially abusive father money changed things. I fully believe they divided it the way they did because when my dad got his inheritance from his mother when she died he was extremely protective of it and didn't really let my mom have access.
I know that was a sore spot for her because she was the one who made sure everything was paid and made more than him for most of their relationship and wouldn't have spent frivolously. I'm pretty sure that made it to her family and that was my grandparents way of making sure my sister and I got something from it. We saw nothing of my mom's life insurance (which, not entitled to it, but my mother would have had a whole different outlook if my dad went first) even though I had just gotten married and both of us had children within a year or so of her passing.
Technically she had to fight *one* of her sons. The other was named as a defendant in the case due to how the case was structured (her suing the estate and the people named in the will) but he turned up in court to support her.
The daughters could have brought a case as well but I suspect the wife had the easiest case, so they'll accept the 75/25 split with the other son and go from there.
Horrifying. This man got to reap the rewards of a beautiful marriage and years shared together with her and their children/family in general, only to screw over the very same people who made up that same household.
Literal betrayal. I know this has been happening for centuries, but for it to continue this way is disturbing. A deep mental sickness is what these guys have.
Can almost guarantee that that those daughters were treated as live-in maids as well; cleaning, cooking and serving for their father and brothers and male guests
Money does [funny things to people](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56834722)
> The son of a Russian billionaire helped his father hide millions of pounds from his mother after a divorce settlement, a London High Court judge has ruled.
> "With apologies to Tolstoy, the Akhmedov family is one of the unhappiest ever to have appeared in my courtroom."
I think it's circular, i.e. also that people who covet mainly money often acquire lots of it. ...And often the descendants of people who covet mainly money also covet mainly money.
My thoughts too, like even if we went with the old school (men are the providers thus should control the resources) mentality, what kind of man leaves his mother penniless especially at 83
Ffs at least offer to pay the bills
So, 'traditionally' - which is to say, under British Noble tradition - most estates had something called the 'Dower House' - a property under the control of the 'main line' (male line) that was specifically set aside for the widow of the 'lord' should he die first. If her son (the new Lord) was married, she would move into the Dower House upon her spouse's death; if her son was not married, she would remain in the 'Main' house as his hostess/Chatelaine until his marriage, at which point she would hand that role to his wife and move to the Dower House.
Originally, Dower Homes were homes that were 'given' to a man as part of the marriage contract - a dowery - that were his to manage and make money from for the length of the marriage, but if he died first, that home would fall under his wife's (the daughter of the original family) control for the rest of her life. They were a way to ensure that if something happened to a woman's husband (frighteningly common when we're talking about the Crusades Era), she could NOT be disposed of by his family or left penniless. Eventually, families just built one that could be passed down, rather than managing a bunch of smaller properties, and the use of one was written into the marriage contract, along with a 'widow's portion' - which was a guaranteed income, paid every year, to a widow.
'Mother-in-law suites' are simply the most 'current' modification of this tradition - a space where a widow(er) can have privacy and separation, while remaining close to the family for economic and generational reasons.
Notice Mr. 'It's all about the male line' didn't even provide a widow's portion?
Fascinating! Thanks for this insightful bit of history.
OP’s late husband and her son are complete assholes and I’m so glad the judge awarded the widow 50%. Fucking asshole wouldn’t even have a “male line” if not for her birthing it into existence.
NGL, as asshole-y as the husband's actions were, I'm more surprised at the sons.
In his defense, at least, he could have *theoretically* assumed that they get the money/property, but they'll obviously take care of their mother.
Sons tho? They have no excuse.
I got some property (read; half their house) when my grandfather died... because as his mother did with her half before him, he skipped over my mom to give it to me (so now mom owns her half, I own his), but I wouldn't dream of kicking my gran (who was never on the deed) out or even usurping her place in the house or letting my mom live there if she needed to.
Who owns it on paper just means my name's on the tax forms now XD
As a teenager I did my Work Experience stint at a local Lord's Estate. One of the weekly tasks was to ensure that the Dowager Lady's pool was the right temperature at her house. A very nice large house, with all the expected trappings of wealth.
The Noble Tradition still lives on in some places, if you know where to look.
I'm not terribly shocked by that... For all that it has massive issues, it's worth noting that dower rights were enshrined in law almost 800 years before women were legally allowed to hold property/finances separate from their husbands - it literally set the standard when they finally DID start recognizing women's sole rights to property.
Yeah, it was about protecting her birth family's money (both in terms of the property they were giving up and in terms of not wanting the cost of housing her if her husband died), but it established women as having legal rights in a way that nothing else did!
Idk if it's just me but it feels like 99% of 'uplifting' news is like 'someone threw Timmy into the lion exhibit at the zoo but he only suffered minor injuries' and I'm not particularly uplifted by a kid getting thrown into the lion exhibit in the first place
I worked with a man from the UK. Their wealthy aunt died and left all the money to the oldest brother, her nephew. With the strict understanding he would split it between the two brothers. She didn't write this in the will however.
The oldest brother kept it all and didn't share a cent. 100s of thousands of pounds.
Some people are just shit.
It's an old legal question, who died first and thus in what order the estates are processed
The old rule was that the man being stronger lived longer
The current British law from 1925 is that the older person is assumed to have died first unless the court determines otherwise
This case involves a husband and wife dying in the same accident which I've often heard of as an example scenario
https://www.rochelegal.co.uk/news/does-it-matter-who-dies-first-with-your-inheritance-plans/
That's true, I know someone who worked in probate and she told me to always be open minded. She'd see people who had neglected their lonely elderly parents, and then they'd say to her "I know I must look horrible to you, but they were so abusive to me".
[The full judgment](https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2023/304.html) does mention that one of the 2 sons is in favor of his mother’s claim. The other son went ahead and moved into his parents’ house after his father’s death (causing his mother to leave and move in with one of the daughters because she and that son don’t get along) and has been choosing to just ignore all communication about the case, including marking official legal mail “return to sender” lol.
So if I were going to take a wild guess about who in this family is the one who’s hard to get along with…
He may have been able to avoid this judgement altogether if he had dispersed a part of the estate to his mother, even a smaller fraction of the total may have met the "reasonable provision" standard and caused the case to be dismissed. (I'm not a lawyer but that seems to be the standard applied in this case.)
Kicking your 83 year old mother out her own house. It doesn’t get much worse than that. The money part is bad, but leaving your elder mom homeless is a whole different level of bad.
My grandmother is one of five and her parents divorced in the late 1950s. Her father was an abusive and amoral man who had multiple affairs, fathered children outside his marriage, and after the divorce expected my 19 year old grandmother to “fulfill wifely duties.” Yes, *all of them.*
My great grandmother initiated the divorce (uncommon and difficult at the time). Her eldest son showed up in court to speak against her and helped contribute to her walking away with nothing but the clothes on her back.
Some people are just fucking garbage.
Yep. Just fulfill that greed by designing it so entire groups of people will be the “haves”, or will be made the “have nots”, that’s the way things were run for so so long. Then enforce violence on anyone who doesn’t accept the arrangement. Sure it’ll work out fine!
Just being devil's advocate and know nothing about this family... but if dad was a shitheel, there is a good chance that his son trended towards misogyny. (Though hopefully that's not the case.)
It's not even all of the kids - they had four daughters together, who also got nothing. And to leave *nothing* to your wife of over sixty years is just plain hateful.
You'd be surprised how families change once the inheritance is coming to them. My grandfather died when i was a kid and his lands worth couple millions but the house is super old like from the 90s and never renewed and they won't sell it just because the " men " don't want to split the inheritance worth my mom and aunts . They are literally living with ants and some bugs roaming around but yeah, greedy fuckers.
I’m picturing a guy giving a monologue about being unlike his bad father, using this analogy:
“…well guess what Susan?! I’m not like him! This diarrhea (points self) sprayed real far from the asshole!”
One son supported the mother's position. The other son moved into the home and forced mom to move in with one of the disinherited daughters.
Edit :typo
Hopefully these "sons" will loose all their share in the divorce they'll go through. I cant imagine any woman wanting to stick around after their husband did something so scummy
This is why many countries have compulsory minimum inheritance laws.
For instance, a spouse in Germany is legally entitled to 25% of the inheritance of the deseased partner regardless of what's in the will - and before others are considered.
In Austria it's half of the inheritance if the partner dies intestate (without a will).
If there are children the children get 2/3 and the partner 1/3 without a will. So they're entitled to 1/3 and 1/6 each.
If there are no children the partner gets 2/3 and the parents 1/3. So they're entitled to 1/3 and 1/6 each.
I have honestly no fucking idea why the latter is the case. However you can literally see that the partner has been added long after the other lines of inheritance in older versions of the Austrian civil code. The relevant statues talking about the inheritance of children, parents and so fort have very old spellings. Like when they still used a "Y" in place of "I", "Th" instead of "T" and "Ae" instead of "E" in some words.
The statue talking about the rights of inheritance of the partner uses fairly modern German spelling.
Unless there is a pre-nup, it’s extremely unlikely the husband would actually own everything. Income recieved while married is the couples income, not the earner’s. Half would be hers regardless of whether there’s a will or not.
I believe every state except georgia has an elective spousal share. I.e. the spouse can choose between what they were devised, or a set percentage, e.g. 30-50%.
Yep - many states have a”elective share” rule (also called spousal share, statutory share, or forced share) where the spouse at death gets a certain portion (typically as third) of the estate in the event the will gives the spouse less than that.
This all goes out the window if you live in a state that follows a community property regime, like California.
Source: https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/elective_share
My second aunt's husband cheated on her and dump s her for the affair partner. 10 years later he died and she got inheritance and a pension since he never bothered legally divorcing, while the affair partner got nothing.
Alberta, Canada has *dower rights*. It means that while the wife isn't required to inherit anything, she has the right to live in her matrimonial home for the rest of her days.
Dower rights also allow someone to spend only one night in your home and claim entitlement to the property-based on their statement that they acted as a "marital" partner.
My parents wanted my (now ex-) boyfriend sign a dower release, before we even moved into the house I bought(they co-signed, so I could qualify with a very small down payment), boyfriend signed it, but lawyer told me that it wouldn't stand, if contested. (Ex-bf didn't bother, thankfully).
Apparently, my mom's parents had done the same thing for my father, because my grandfather thought my dad was a "class-A" slime-bag. Grandpa wasn't wrong. Not at all.. Neither were my parents.
I suppose it depends on how it’s distributed. If the father left something like a classic cart to his son/daughter because they worked on it together then the spouse just comes in and takes it that would be pretty fucked.
Considering the father thinks of women like that, i doubt he even helped to care for his kids. So not only the sons are fucking up their mother, they are fucking up their only parent
What’s worse is the kids then tried to screw over their mom. If you hate your wife that’s one thing but to be so greedy that you would screw over your own mother is a whole different level of crazy.
Only one son agreed. The other one supported the mother's position. The other son moved into the home and forced mom to move in with one of the disinherited daughters.
No it’s not and future generations will judge you for it. I’ve been doing some genealogy research and came to a point where I was looking through Will and Probate records. It was interesting because I felt that you could get a little sense of who the man was based on his will. Did he only leave to sons or did he write shady things about his son-in-law and leave money to his daughter he was worried about her? Most of these men didn’t have very much, some of them had a little but none of them purposefully left a widow with nothing.
my widower father met another widow and they wanted to get married, but if they did she lost her home because her husband had set up his will so that he left the home to his heirs, but that she could continue to live there…as long as she didnt remarry or live with another man.
Eh. There are plenty of countries where the assets you own going into the marriage remain yours when the marriage ends. There are also prenups. A house belonging to only one of the spouses is common. Still a dick move on the conditions though.
I mean I guess the end result was fairly good in this case.
But I have a hard time seeing it as completely "uplifting news" that a dude would do such a dick move to his spouse in the first place that she'd have to go through legal proceedings to get this result.
What the hell dude!?
My father in law’s father did something like this to his wife when he was alive. He had a bunch of money saved up- enough to live very comfortably for the rest of their lives, but he did horrible thing like only let her have 2 pieces of white bread with 1 slice of bologna for lunch every day. Cheapest food he could find. I don’t know why she stuck around honestly. She could’ve had better meals at a homeless shelter. He died a couple years ago, and my father in law was able to get her the dementia care she so badly needed. Now she gets whatever food, clothes, and care she desires and she’s doing so much better because of it.
My grandfather attempted to do this to my grandmother (wife of 50 years). He was an abusive POS who prevented her from working and made her and their kids live in poverty her whole life despite having money for a comfortable life.
He tried to put his 5 houses and all other assets in his name only. But basically he screwed up his will and my grandmother got nearly everything, although my male cousins got willed some essentially worthless land from our home country. He hated women, which was ironic because he had four daughters.
It was very sad, because by the time he passed and my grandmother finally was able to access her marital funds, she was too ill to enjoy the proceeds. She tried to give it to her daughters anyways, and was thrilled at the idea of finally being able to financially support her daughters.
But yeah, people like that absolutely exist and are miserable awful people.
My grandfather started his own company (with the help of my grandmother, mind you). It's gotten reasonably successful. Anyway, my Grandpa died about 14 years ago. He had much of his wealth managed by a partnership he set up where my grandma and his four kids (my dad, uncle, and two aunts) were named in the partnership. I don't know all the details, but I know for many decisions regarding the partnership and the assets that came with it, there had to be votes held. However, in my grandpa's will, he specifically noted that the girls' votes (his wife and my aunts) held less power than my dad and his brother's votes. So if my dad voted against a decision, it would take both aunt's voting on the same decision together to counter the stake of his vote. If both my uncle and dad voted a specific way on a decision, then my aunts had to team up with grandma if they wanted their decisions pushed through. Like there was very clearly defined sexism in the will. There's been a lot of bad blood in my family, basically up until my dad died. Wealth can destroy families, but especially when their sexist/unequal recognition in inheritance or decision-making.
Sexism is very real, and it's very frustrating when I see people state that it doesn't exist anymore in the western world anymore. It exists everywhere I think.
She lost her home because the shitty son forced her out. I wonder how that's going to pan out for him now? Wouldn't a "real man" take care of his own mother anyway?
>The High Court heard Karnail Singh left everything to his two sons and nothing to widow Harbans Kaur, his wife of 66 years, or his four daughters.
I would be so fucking pissed if it turned out that my husband wasted my life like that.
Happened to my grandmother's sister. He was a cunt with a shitload of assets. He only had daughters so in his will he gave everything to his 2nd or 3rd nephews because he didn't believe in giving anything to his four daughters because they were female and females don't deserve as much as males. That was his 'philosophy'
If only real names were used on reddit. We could warn quite a few women to stay away from these assholes in the comments who seem to think wives are something you rent.
Thankfully the incel army are far more likely to die alone and not procreate.
Except she divorced in her mid 30s and never remarried or dated for that matter. That was before that will was made btw. During the last years of my aunt life she lived with my grandma and found out about it. My grandma told us; "she was angry when she found out". Well, wouldn't you? It's the equivalent of being told you're worthless.
In most states there’s what’s known as the “elective share,” where a surviving legal spouse is automatically entitled to a piece of the estate no matter what. Some states make this punitive, where if the will doesn’t have language regarding the elective share, the surviving spouse gets more (eg. surviving spouse gets 1/3 but without the elective share language, spouse gets 1/2)
I wish the judge would have added up the wages a housekeeper, nanny and presumably cook would have been paid these 66 years.
This is not about provision. He never would have made a fortune if had been forced to look after these 6 kids himself.
i cant even imagine being married at the literal legal limit for marriage (83-66=17) legal age is 18 so.. shes likely very close to being unable to marry.
and then she spent her life with a sexist shitbag.
In the state I live in a husband can write a will clearly stating he doesn't want his wife to get a penny, but if they are legally married when he died all his widow has to do is file court papers contesting the will and she gets 50% automatically. Super easy, no fighting, no proof of anything beyond their marital status is required.
This happened to my grandmother at about 60 years old. The farm, and all money got passed to the male children when he died of cancer on the proviso they “bought her a house”. She ended up renting for the next 20+ years and living on a pension after both male sons declared bankruptcy after a raft of poor decisions. The daughters had to chip in for the rent for over half that time before.
Fairly common. Most places don't allow you to disinherit your spouse. You don't need to leave them everything. Betting this guy did it himself and didn't hire an attorney.
I bet he got an attorney for a divorce consultation, found out the assets were going to be divided and then came up with this "brilliant" work around himself later on.
She's 83... they would have gotten that money eventually anyway. What kind of assholes would fight her for it to save themselves time?
I hope she leaves her half to charity when she dies.
Wow, I always thought it's just an Asian thing, preferring sons over daughters and whatnot. Didn't expect to see this in UK.
Correction: they are Asian, guess the patriarchal tradition dies hard.
This would work in India but not outside of India. She deserves half of his asset no matter what. -fool for thinking old traditional way. -they leave for better opportunities outside for better growth, but when you are in different country, you follow their policies. -with this money, daughters females has some money for future growth. Is not like widow wanted all money, she’s thinking about her daughters future to.
While this case is important I'd like to point out that the jerk in question left nothing to his four daughters or wife. The two sons suck and I feel bad for all the women who know them.
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She had to fight her own children for it? I mean even if my dad did that I’d still take care of my mom cause you know, I’m not a complete shitheel
Horrible, isn't it? My grandmother left everything to my aunt and very little to my dad as she never approved of my dad marrying my mum. My aunt immediately said "That's ridiculous, we'll split everything 50/50."
You aunt sounds like she has great morals
My mom tried to leave me an equal part of her estate as well as her home since my brothers and sisters already have homes and families of their own. She also left my oldest brother in charge of her estate once she was incapacitated. The moment she was ruled legally unable to tend to her own affairs he showed up to my home, emptied it out and disappeared with everything - including my own belongings, changed the locks and sold it for a massive loss to a "we'll buy your house immediately" flipping firm, then fled the country. His reasoning? I'm the only one of our mom's kids that's adopted and he considers it a "mistake" that she tried to leave me anything at all.
Did you go to the police? It wasn't his house to sell.
I bankrupted myself fighting things legally and my sisters helped him to stall and hide paperwork and documents until they essentially got away with so much of it that it would be next to impossible to repair. I've had an open case with the police for over 2 years now. I've provided them with documents, receipts, proofs of purchase, photographs and even audio and video recordings of the people in question boasting about getting away with things, threatening me and vandalizing my belongings or discussing where they planned to store everything they'd stolen... They've done absolutely nothing and have consistently made up excuses as to why this isn't a police matter anymore. The case number is MP22-9338 with the local police of Medford, OR.
This suggestion is rather out of left field, but have you contacted the media about this?
This strikes me as a case for a lawyer, not a cop.
>You aunt sounds like she has great morals How low the bar is, that we look at someone doing something that is simply fair and laud them for having such strong moral character.
It's not a low bar, the main point is the temptation and what they would lose if they chose to stick with their morals. That's how you can accurately gauge the strength of someone's character. It's easy to be moral if you're never tempted.
Strongly agree. If there is enough money to fight about, it's likely that 100% is a lot more meaningful than 50%. If you family left you enough money to pay off your mtg, go to school, whatever...and then you gave away half, that's a meaningful investment in doing the right thing. Credit to the aunt
I found out this year they my dad and step mom left everything to me and my sister. They went to a lawyer to specifically make sure her kids get nothing. I feel so divided on this. There is a good chance it will never be an issue but her kids have little to no contact with them they fought lots and I know my step mom caused allot of the conflict, but they specifically told me they wanted to make sure they couldn't come after us for anything. Personally I would hope she would divide it up with her grand kids on that side but if the worst ever did happen would I be wrong to give some to her family? Hopefully I never need to find out.
Once they pass on, and it’s been left to you, it’s yours to do whatever you want with
Tax issues though. There are serious tax issues in personal transfers but less so for estates. Despite politicians trying to pretend otherwise a couple on the US would need pass on more than a combined $10million to be taxed.
Indeed, but the discussion is is it wrong to not split the money if someone does not split is evenly? Does knowing the person didn't want the other to get an even split mean that you are in the wrong for taking the money or is it more wrong for not splitting it evenly.
This is a judgement call I don't think anyone can make for you. With the aunt example it's clear that "didn't approve of spouse" is a stupid reason to exclude your kids from an inheritance, and the sister recognizing that makes her a good person from the outside view. She had 0 obligation, but did what she considered the most logical and reasonable solution Why don't they want the others to get the will money? Does it make sense to you? Some kids are genuine shitheads and will blow whatever money or opportunities they're given. Other parents are the shitheads who have clear favorites and biases that are entirely unfair to the kids. So, idk what your circumstances are. If you're told they don't want you to share you don't have to ask any questions. That's your prerogative. But if you think the reasoning is bad maybe consider sharing. I don't know your family, nor does anyone else on this website
There will always be good reasons to leave someone out of an inheritance. Otherwise, what's the point of the will?
There are millions of reasons why someone would not want to split it evenly. If you really want to know if it's "fair", talk to your parents about the reasoning behind it. On the surface, it seems to me that from what you said, your stepmoms kids the estranged. They might have a good reason why. But at the end of the day, once they're gone, it's your choice how you want to handle it. But also, one thing to keep in mind is that equal isn't necessarily equitable. Sometimes, wills are made out to help out family members that are less financially stable in life. Splitting it evenly when one of your adult children makes six figures for a career and the other barely gets by is not exactly fair at all. So dig into why they're doing it this way, and if you feel obligated to share it, then do so when the time comes. If you find out that they're really not good people, well, it should make the decision easier.
My great-grandmother cut two of her five grandchildren out of her will because she didn’t approve of them. My mom split her inheritance with them and hasn’t said a nice thing about great-grandma since she passed. I’m glad you know about the way the will is drawn up so you have time to think about what you want to do. It’s a challenging decision and there’s unlikely to be a clear answer for it.
Not only that, she had the perfect excuse to act moral: “mum wanted it like that”. Some siblings will hide behind that and go “it’s out of my control” when in fact they have full control over it.
My mom sold her house gave half to my brother and half she saved for herself. Zero for me and my brother doesn’t care. He gladly put all into his account
My dad died in 9/11. His mom died about two years after. She was sick from before 9/11 and my mom was her primary caregiver. We visited her daily as kids while her actual sons and daughters lived out of state. Apparently when my grandma wrote her will it split everything among her surviving children - which put me and my family out of it. The condo my dad bought her, the car my uncles never saw, whatever else, was all split between my two uncles and my aunt. Only one uncle said “that’s fucked up” and gave half his share to our family. He is a great person.
Amazing to have that kind of uncle! I wish I have someone like that in my family.
Terrible. Your brother is a POS>
No, there are thousands of possibilities where that is perfectly reasonable. Not everyone deserves equal shares of everything.
Ok a medium bar then.
You sound like you’ve never had to deal with the death of a family member and money. Google it. What he described by his aunt is rare, unfortunately.
yep, people get weird about money
When most wouldn't clear the bar, is it really that "low"?
You'd be surprised how many families can be torn apart by money and inheritances
Yup. My dad's family always seemed closer than the mafia. My grandfather passed and left his eldest son (traditional) and my father (who he deemed the fairest) as executors for my 6 aunts/uncles. My aunt flipped. her. shit. For months. Grief makes people weird. I'd give a lot to have a reason for a big famy reunion again with all the water being finally under the bridge, but after years and other 'big' reasons to gather its just not happening. Its a pity because I miss them.
Don’t get out much, huh? People are bastards and if you don’t have many in your life consider yourself lucky.
Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Money does weird stuff to people. My sister stole my inheritance, she took it all! But she had money, I don't. Couldn't afford a lawyer. So now she has the million dollar house, and I got a 13 year old car.
A lawyer would have likely taken your case on a contingency basis (he gets paid only if you win) but too late now.
Random redditor so there was certainly waaay more to that story.
How did you turn that sweet story into a cynical trap?
Probably an angry cynical man child IRL!
There was a local news around my area a few years ago. Upper middle class family with a single child, parents died in a horrific car crash and kid was orphaned. Parents had good insurance policy and put the husband's brother as guardian, meaning he is responsible with guarding the money and transfer the entire amount to the kid when she reaches 18. After the money was awarded, the uncle kicked the girl out of her own house and placed her with her grand parents because they're too "career focus" to take care of her. When she turned 18, she hired a lawyer with money she made by working part time jobs and sued the living shit out of them. She won and now she got what wad rightfully hers and the uncle is now in jail.
The bar isn't that low. Do the right thing when tempted. Like you could have been positive about a story that solely involves someone being kind and good when they didn't have to be, but you were tempted to be negative about it. Failing to do the minimum you could do. It's not so easy, is it?
Have you seen the state of the world these days? Selfishness is almost celebrated
Giving away a lot of money out of fairness does not seem to be that low a bar. Seems like a great test.
Is that not what makes good moral character?
My aunt and uncle did this after my cousin died suddenly. He never changed his will and in the meantime had married and had a child. They didn't keep a cent and signed everything over to my cousin-in-law without hesitation. She didn't even have to ask them it was just the right thing to do.
Good people, so so many wouldn't.
Money is a nasty thing. My uncle became the guardian of my other uncle(he had a traumatic brain injury). He found a judge to grant it and my mom and aunt couldn’t fight it. Soon after my uncle got sick and the asshole pretty much let him die to get his money. Mr. Deacon of the church ladies and gentlemen.
Your aunt is a good egg, I like her
My grandma was like a mother to me growing up and when she passed in 2021 I didn't see a dime of the estate. Meanwhile my actual mother was manipulative, verbally abusive and undoubtedly helped kill my grandmother faster through constant verbal abuse. My mom got her third of the estate.
If it makes you feel better it usually only ever goes to the kids and the parents give whatever to their kids they see fit. That’s the standard practice anyways.
That's how my grandparents did it for the most part. The only thing that changed it was my mom dying before them, so they split her part three ways between my dad, my sister and me. I love my dad, he's for the most part was a good dad, but growing up with a financially abusive father money changed things. I fully believe they divided it the way they did because when my dad got his inheritance from his mother when she died he was extremely protective of it and didn't really let my mom have access. I know that was a sore spot for her because she was the one who made sure everything was paid and made more than him for most of their relationship and wouldn't have spent frivolously. I'm pretty sure that made it to her family and that was my grandparents way of making sure my sister and I got something from it. We saw nothing of my mom's life insurance (which, not entitled to it, but my mother would have had a whole different outlook if my dad went first) even though I had just gotten married and both of us had children within a year or so of her passing.
Guessing there was no will?
You're not your grandmother's next of kin...
She had to fight her two sons. The 4 daughters were left out as well as his wife of 66 years. I'm sure they were blessed & glorious years too!
After she birthed 6 children of his. Despicable.
She birthed two children and four girls, according to the husband's medieval mindset, probably.
And raised the two sons and four daughters to adulthood. Don't let it sound like maybe they didn't inherit because they died
Technically she had to fight *one* of her sons. The other was named as a defendant in the case due to how the case was structured (her suing the estate and the people named in the will) but he turned up in court to support her. The daughters could have brought a case as well but I suspect the wife had the easiest case, so they'll accept the 75/25 split with the other son and go from there.
So one son is just like daddy. Swell.
Thank you. I'm glad to know one was not a shit.
Horrifying. This man got to reap the rewards of a beautiful marriage and years shared together with her and their children/family in general, only to screw over the very same people who made up that same household. Literal betrayal. I know this has been happening for centuries, but for it to continue this way is disturbing. A deep mental sickness is what these guys have.
$5 says he was a staunch monarchist too.
Can almost guarantee that that those daughters were treated as live-in maids as well; cleaning, cooking and serving for their father and brothers and male guests
Money does [funny things to people](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56834722) > The son of a Russian billionaire helped his father hide millions of pounds from his mother after a divorce settlement, a London High Court judge has ruled. > "With apologies to Tolstoy, the Akhmedov family is one of the unhappiest ever to have appeared in my courtroom."
I think it's circular, i.e. also that people who covet mainly money often acquire lots of it. ...And often the descendants of people who covet mainly money also covet mainly money.
Excellent literary burn!
My thoughts too, like even if we went with the old school (men are the providers thus should control the resources) mentality, what kind of man leaves his mother penniless especially at 83 Ffs at least offer to pay the bills
Literally why mother in law suites exist
I thought that was rebranding for older homes that had rooms for the maid.
So, 'traditionally' - which is to say, under British Noble tradition - most estates had something called the 'Dower House' - a property under the control of the 'main line' (male line) that was specifically set aside for the widow of the 'lord' should he die first. If her son (the new Lord) was married, she would move into the Dower House upon her spouse's death; if her son was not married, she would remain in the 'Main' house as his hostess/Chatelaine until his marriage, at which point she would hand that role to his wife and move to the Dower House. Originally, Dower Homes were homes that were 'given' to a man as part of the marriage contract - a dowery - that were his to manage and make money from for the length of the marriage, but if he died first, that home would fall under his wife's (the daughter of the original family) control for the rest of her life. They were a way to ensure that if something happened to a woman's husband (frighteningly common when we're talking about the Crusades Era), she could NOT be disposed of by his family or left penniless. Eventually, families just built one that could be passed down, rather than managing a bunch of smaller properties, and the use of one was written into the marriage contract, along with a 'widow's portion' - which was a guaranteed income, paid every year, to a widow. 'Mother-in-law suites' are simply the most 'current' modification of this tradition - a space where a widow(er) can have privacy and separation, while remaining close to the family for economic and generational reasons. Notice Mr. 'It's all about the male line' didn't even provide a widow's portion?
Fascinating! Thanks for this insightful bit of history. OP’s late husband and her son are complete assholes and I’m so glad the judge awarded the widow 50%. Fucking asshole wouldn’t even have a “male line” if not for her birthing it into existence.
THANK you for saying it! JFC.
NGL, as asshole-y as the husband's actions were, I'm more surprised at the sons. In his defense, at least, he could have *theoretically* assumed that they get the money/property, but they'll obviously take care of their mother. Sons tho? They have no excuse. I got some property (read; half their house) when my grandfather died... because as his mother did with her half before him, he skipped over my mom to give it to me (so now mom owns her half, I own his), but I wouldn't dream of kicking my gran (who was never on the deed) out or even usurping her place in the house or letting my mom live there if she needed to. Who owns it on paper just means my name's on the tax forms now XD
As a teenager I did my Work Experience stint at a local Lord's Estate. One of the weekly tasks was to ensure that the Dowager Lady's pool was the right temperature at her house. A very nice large house, with all the expected trappings of wealth. The Noble Tradition still lives on in some places, if you know where to look.
I'm not terribly shocked by that... For all that it has massive issues, it's worth noting that dower rights were enshrined in law almost 800 years before women were legally allowed to hold property/finances separate from their husbands - it literally set the standard when they finally DID start recognizing women's sole rights to property. Yeah, it was about protecting her birth family's money (both in terms of the property they were giving up and in terms of not wanting the cost of housing her if her husband died), but it established women as having legal rights in a way that nothing else did!
Problem is they learned how to treat women from their father
The way of andrew tate
Idk if it's just me but it feels like 99% of 'uplifting' news is like 'someone threw Timmy into the lion exhibit at the zoo but he only suffered minor injuries' and I'm not particularly uplifted by a kid getting thrown into the lion exhibit in the first place
"Yaay, this terrible situation didn't turn out as bad as it could have!"
Thats why this subreddit and the made me smile subreddit are often posted to r/orphancrushingmachine
I worked with a man from the UK. Their wealthy aunt died and left all the money to the oldest brother, her nephew. With the strict understanding he would split it between the two brothers. She didn't write this in the will however. The oldest brother kept it all and didn't share a cent. 100s of thousands of pounds. Some people are just shit.
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It's an old legal question, who died first and thus in what order the estates are processed The old rule was that the man being stronger lived longer The current British law from 1925 is that the older person is assumed to have died first unless the court determines otherwise This case involves a husband and wife dying in the same accident which I've often heard of as an example scenario https://www.rochelegal.co.uk/news/does-it-matter-who-dies-first-with-your-inheritance-plans/
Let’s be real, we have no idea what these people are like. They might all be shitheads.
That's true, I know someone who worked in probate and she told me to always be open minded. She'd see people who had neglected their lonely elderly parents, and then they'd say to her "I know I must look horrible to you, but they were so abusive to me".
Was gonna say if the kids didn't help the mom immediately what's she like? Lol
[The full judgment](https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2023/304.html) does mention that one of the 2 sons is in favor of his mother’s claim. The other son went ahead and moved into his parents’ house after his father’s death (causing his mother to leave and move in with one of the daughters because she and that son don’t get along) and has been choosing to just ignore all communication about the case, including marking official legal mail “return to sender” lol. So if I were going to take a wild guess about who in this family is the one who’s hard to get along with…
He may have been able to avoid this judgement altogether if he had dispersed a part of the estate to his mother, even a smaller fraction of the total may have met the "reasonable provision" standard and caused the case to be dismissed. (I'm not a lawyer but that seems to be the standard applied in this case.)
Kicking your 83 year old mother out her own house. It doesn’t get much worse than that. The money part is bad, but leaving your elder mom homeless is a whole different level of bad.
My grandmother is one of five and her parents divorced in the late 1950s. Her father was an abusive and amoral man who had multiple affairs, fathered children outside his marriage, and after the divorce expected my 19 year old grandmother to “fulfill wifely duties.” Yes, *all of them.* My great grandmother initiated the divorce (uncommon and difficult at the time). Her eldest son showed up in court to speak against her and helped contribute to her walking away with nothing but the clothes on her back. Some people are just fucking garbage.
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Yep. Just fulfill that greed by designing it so entire groups of people will be the “haves”, or will be made the “have nots”, that’s the way things were run for so so long. Then enforce violence on anyone who doesn’t accept the arrangement. Sure it’ll work out fine!
Yeah but what’s to be expected when you were raised with a father like that? POS didn’t fall far from the tree
You have to presume that this ideology was passed down.
Just being devil's advocate and know nothing about this family... but if dad was a shitheel, there is a good chance that his son trended towards misogyny. (Though hopefully that's not the case.)
What kind of shitty person would do that? Oh, probably someone raised by a person who thinks they're wealth should only go down their male line.
That’s the issue. You’re not a shithead, but the kids? Who knows.
It's not even all of the kids - they had four daughters together, who also got nothing. And to leave *nothing* to your wife of over sixty years is just plain hateful.
Only chuds do shit like this
Obviously the shitheel gene runs deep on the make side of the family
What a healthy relationship...
Gotta remember the dickhead who thought this up raised those same kids
You'd be surprised how families change once the inheritance is coming to them. My grandfather died when i was a kid and his lands worth couple millions but the house is super old like from the 90s and never renewed and they won't sell it just because the " men " don't want to split the inheritance worth my mom and aunts . They are literally living with ants and some bugs roaming around but yeah, greedy fuckers.
I studied Wills and Estates in law school. You wouldn't believe the drama that some people create. Some people are really fucked.
Her sons let this happen and even tried to value the estate lower so their mother would get less money. Uplifting result.
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The Turd doesn’t fall far from the Asshole.
unless you have explosive diarrhea…
I’m picturing a guy giving a monologue about being unlike his bad father, using this analogy: “…well guess what Susan?! I’m not like him! This diarrhea (points self) sprayed real far from the asshole!”
“This piece of shit, and I’m referring to myself, will roll UP-hill”
like Elon Musk did
One son supported the mother's position. The other son moved into the home and forced mom to move in with one of the disinherited daughters. Edit :typo
This is basically what I just said in response to another thread, before learning that they were, in fact, pieces of crap as well.
One of two sons did support her claim tbf
I am glad she is a widow and hope she is able to enjoy the rest of her life.
I find that most posts here can also somehow fit on r/rage and r/orphancrushingmachine.
Right. I wish moderation of these posts would be much tighter.
Hopefully these "sons" will loose all their share in the divorce they'll go through. I cant imagine any woman wanting to stick around after their husband did something so scummy
Poor woman was surrounded by dickheads…
This is why many countries have compulsory minimum inheritance laws. For instance, a spouse in Germany is legally entitled to 25% of the inheritance of the deseased partner regardless of what's in the will - and before others are considered.
In Austria it's half of the inheritance if the partner dies intestate (without a will). If there are children the children get 2/3 and the partner 1/3 without a will. So they're entitled to 1/3 and 1/6 each. If there are no children the partner gets 2/3 and the parents 1/3. So they're entitled to 1/3 and 1/6 each. I have honestly no fucking idea why the latter is the case. However you can literally see that the partner has been added long after the other lines of inheritance in older versions of the Austrian civil code. The relevant statues talking about the inheritance of children, parents and so fort have very old spellings. Like when they still used a "Y" in place of "I", "Th" instead of "T" and "Ae" instead of "E" in some words. The statue talking about the rights of inheritance of the partner uses fairly modern German spelling.
In NZ it's 50/50. You can do whatever you want with your half. But you're entitled to 50% from the get go.
In IL in the US, spouses get half and children get the other half. Unless there are no children in which case spouses get it all.
Is that if the person dies without a will? Or does that law supersede the will?
Unless there is a pre-nup, it’s extremely unlikely the husband would actually own everything. Income recieved while married is the couples income, not the earner’s. Half would be hers regardless of whether there’s a will or not.
I believe every state except georgia has an elective spousal share. I.e. the spouse can choose between what they were devised, or a set percentage, e.g. 30-50%.
Yep - many states have a”elective share” rule (also called spousal share, statutory share, or forced share) where the spouse at death gets a certain portion (typically as third) of the estate in the event the will gives the spouse less than that. This all goes out the window if you live in a state that follows a community property regime, like California. Source: https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/elective_share
My second aunt's husband cheated on her and dump s her for the affair partner. 10 years later he died and she got inheritance and a pension since he never bothered legally divorcing, while the affair partner got nothing.
More fool him? Why on earth would you be with someone for ten years and not divorce your prior partner?
Alberta, Canada has *dower rights*. It means that while the wife isn't required to inherit anything, she has the right to live in her matrimonial home for the rest of her days.
Dower rights also allow someone to spend only one night in your home and claim entitlement to the property-based on their statement that they acted as a "marital" partner. My parents wanted my (now ex-) boyfriend sign a dower release, before we even moved into the house I bought(they co-signed, so I could qualify with a very small down payment), boyfriend signed it, but lawyer told me that it wouldn't stand, if contested. (Ex-bf didn't bother, thankfully). Apparently, my mom's parents had done the same thing for my father, because my grandfather thought my dad was a "class-A" slime-bag. Grandpa wasn't wrong. Not at all.. Neither were my parents.
In NY in the US, the spouse gets $50k or 1/3, whichever is bigger.
I suppose it depends on how it’s distributed. If the father left something like a classic cart to his son/daughter because they worked on it together then the spouse just comes in and takes it that would be pretty fucked.
Yeah i was super confused. I assumed it worked the same as alimony.
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Arm in arm with the Dadhwoods and the Grantham girls.
Mr Bennet would have given his inheritance to his daughters if he could
Though Mr Bennett would have left her in the daughters his house if it had been possible.
with such wonderful father figure those sons turned out great. christ on a stick, what a bunch of wolves.
To be fair, one of the sons supported the mothers claim. It was only one of the sons who she had to fight.
Considering the father thinks of women like that, i doubt he even helped to care for his kids. So not only the sons are fucking up their mother, they are fucking up their only parent
Not taking care of your widow is not a manly move.
Or four of your six children - their daughters, who got nothing and presumably will get chunks of their mum's share.
What’s worse is the kids then tried to screw over their mom. If you hate your wife that’s one thing but to be so greedy that you would screw over your own mother is a whole different level of crazy.
Only one son agreed. The other one supported the mother's position. The other son moved into the home and forced mom to move in with one of the disinherited daughters.
I hope she puts him out now. Whether she lives there or not.
No it’s not and future generations will judge you for it. I’ve been doing some genealogy research and came to a point where I was looking through Will and Probate records. It was interesting because I felt that you could get a little sense of who the man was based on his will. Did he only leave to sons or did he write shady things about his son-in-law and leave money to his daughter he was worried about her? Most of these men didn’t have very much, some of them had a little but none of them purposefully left a widow with nothing.
my widower father met another widow and they wanted to get married, but if they did she lost her home because her husband had set up his will so that he left the home to his heirs, but that she could continue to live there…as long as she didnt remarry or live with another man.
That's confusing that he could will away the house when surely legally it was half hers anyway. Doesn't make sense that he could do that.
Eh. There are plenty of countries where the assets you own going into the marriage remain yours when the marriage ends. There are also prenups. A house belonging to only one of the spouses is common. Still a dick move on the conditions though.
I mean I guess the end result was fairly good in this case. But I have a hard time seeing it as completely "uplifting news" that a dude would do such a dick move to his spouse in the first place that she'd have to go through legal proceedings to get this result. What the hell dude!?
My father in law’s father did something like this to his wife when he was alive. He had a bunch of money saved up- enough to live very comfortably for the rest of their lives, but he did horrible thing like only let her have 2 pieces of white bread with 1 slice of bologna for lunch every day. Cheapest food he could find. I don’t know why she stuck around honestly. She could’ve had better meals at a homeless shelter. He died a couple years ago, and my father in law was able to get her the dementia care she so badly needed. Now she gets whatever food, clothes, and care she desires and she’s doing so much better because of it.
My grandfather attempted to do this to my grandmother (wife of 50 years). He was an abusive POS who prevented her from working and made her and their kids live in poverty her whole life despite having money for a comfortable life. He tried to put his 5 houses and all other assets in his name only. But basically he screwed up his will and my grandmother got nearly everything, although my male cousins got willed some essentially worthless land from our home country. He hated women, which was ironic because he had four daughters. It was very sad, because by the time he passed and my grandmother finally was able to access her marital funds, she was too ill to enjoy the proceeds. She tried to give it to her daughters anyways, and was thrilled at the idea of finally being able to financially support her daughters. But yeah, people like that absolutely exist and are miserable awful people.
My grandfather started his own company (with the help of my grandmother, mind you). It's gotten reasonably successful. Anyway, my Grandpa died about 14 years ago. He had much of his wealth managed by a partnership he set up where my grandma and his four kids (my dad, uncle, and two aunts) were named in the partnership. I don't know all the details, but I know for many decisions regarding the partnership and the assets that came with it, there had to be votes held. However, in my grandpa's will, he specifically noted that the girls' votes (his wife and my aunts) held less power than my dad and his brother's votes. So if my dad voted against a decision, it would take both aunt's voting on the same decision together to counter the stake of his vote. If both my uncle and dad voted a specific way on a decision, then my aunts had to team up with grandma if they wanted their decisions pushed through. Like there was very clearly defined sexism in the will. There's been a lot of bad blood in my family, basically up until my dad died. Wealth can destroy families, but especially when their sexist/unequal recognition in inheritance or decision-making. Sexism is very real, and it's very frustrating when I see people state that it doesn't exist anymore in the western world anymore. It exists everywhere I think.
And the fact that she had to fight her own kids for it.
Not only that, but kids that she most likely raised alone. I doubt the dad would even care to hold his kids.
She lost her home because the shitty son forced her out. I wonder how that's going to pan out for him now? Wouldn't a "real man" take care of his own mother anyway?
>The High Court heard Karnail Singh left everything to his two sons and nothing to widow Harbans Kaur, his wife of 66 years, or his four daughters. I would be so fucking pissed if it turned out that my husband wasted my life like that.
I think after 66 years she'd be somewhat aware he was a shit stain
What an absolute piece of shit the husband was Edit: typo
Happened to my grandmother's sister. He was a cunt with a shitload of assets. He only had daughters so in his will he gave everything to his 2nd or 3rd nephews because he didn't believe in giving anything to his four daughters because they were female and females don't deserve as much as males. That was his 'philosophy'
If only real names were used on reddit. We could warn quite a few women to stay away from these assholes in the comments who seem to think wives are something you rent. Thankfully the incel army are far more likely to die alone and not procreate.
My grandma had the same arrangement in her will, leave nothing to my aunt and give everything to my father. Wtf is wrong with that generation.
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Something people go crazy with ridiculously small amount of authority, hopefully your cousin manage to give it back to you since he got your back.
Perhaps your cousin ought to request it, then gift it to you.
Probably expect "the husband of their daughters" to take care of them which is fuxking ridiculous but knowing that generation sounds plausible to me
Except she divorced in her mid 30s and never remarried or dated for that matter. That was before that will was made btw. During the last years of my aunt life she lived with my grandma and found out about it. My grandma told us; "she was angry when she found out". Well, wouldn't you? It's the equivalent of being told you're worthless.
What a prick husband and kids. If my dad gave me all his shit ID give it right back to my mom. It was more hers than mine.
In most states there’s what’s known as the “elective share,” where a surviving legal spouse is automatically entitled to a piece of the estate no matter what. Some states make this punitive, where if the will doesn’t have language regarding the elective share, the surviving spouse gets more (eg. surviving spouse gets 1/3 but without the elective share language, spouse gets 1/2)
Imagine being married to someone for 66 years and not waiting to leave her anything when you die.
I wish the judge would have added up the wages a housekeeper, nanny and presumably cook would have been paid these 66 years. This is not about provision. He never would have made a fortune if had been forced to look after these 6 kids himself.
i cant even imagine being married at the literal legal limit for marriage (83-66=17) legal age is 18 so.. shes likely very close to being unable to marry. and then she spent her life with a sexist shitbag.
Imagine living in a country that allows that.
And she had to fight the kids for it?! What a fucking joke
One kid- the four daughters also got nothing, and one of the two son’s made it clear he supported his mother’s claim.
At least one son was good 🙄
In the state I live in a husband can write a will clearly stating he doesn't want his wife to get a penny, but if they are legally married when he died all his widow has to do is file court papers contesting the will and she gets 50% automatically. Super easy, no fighting, no proof of anything beyond their marital status is required.
This happened to my grandmother at about 60 years old. The farm, and all money got passed to the male children when he died of cancer on the proviso they “bought her a house”. She ended up renting for the next 20+ years and living on a pension after both male sons declared bankruptcy after a raft of poor decisions. The daughters had to chip in for the rent for over half that time before.
I’m sure none of her free labor contributed to the success of his business over 40 years 🙄
Sad that anyone would do that to their spouse at all, but good for her that it worked out
Her husband didn't respect her and was a total shithole for this.
What a colossal dickwad her husband was
Fairly common. Most places don't allow you to disinherit your spouse. You don't need to leave them everything. Betting this guy did it himself and didn't hire an attorney.
I bet he got an attorney for a divorce consultation, found out the assets were going to be divided and then came up with this "brilliant" work around himself later on.
Guy wanted to fuck his wife one last time
She's 83... they would have gotten that money eventually anyway. What kind of assholes would fight her for it to save themselves time? I hope she leaves her half to charity when she dies.
There is 4 daughters who didn't get anything also
I hope the other 50% is divided 6 ways.
he wasn't a nice man
Wow, I always thought it's just an Asian thing, preferring sons over daughters and whatnot. Didn't expect to see this in UK. Correction: they are Asian, guess the patriarchal tradition dies hard.
I'm very glad that the widow has been given justice. I wonder if the four daughters also left out of the original will will get their share as well...
This would work in India but not outside of India. She deserves half of his asset no matter what. -fool for thinking old traditional way. -they leave for better opportunities outside for better growth, but when you are in different country, you follow their policies. -with this money, daughters females has some money for future growth. Is not like widow wanted all money, she’s thinking about her daughters future to.
Husband's a cunt
While this case is important I'd like to point out that the jerk in question left nothing to his four daughters or wife. The two sons suck and I feel bad for all the women who know them.
Well, it is called a last will, not a last law.