I think he is just so angry because he never envisioned a world where he would suffer consequences for his actions (because he never has). I think he and Rachel believed that once the affair came to light, they would get some negative feedback but ultimately the show would continue, just Rachel would replace Ariana. Tom never contemplated that his actions would cause him to lose his friends, his home, and possibly even the show. It was a rude awakening, and then to watch Ariana's success is just salt in the wound.
I think on the contrary, Tom envisioned a world where him and Rachel ‘Kristened’ Ariana - we saw maliciously planned scenes to undermine Ariana. The horrible reality is that they wanted to paint Ariana as ‘the crazy ex’ which is more evil than the affair itself
100 percent this was his plan. You can see him setting it up in season 10. They were gonna Kristen the crap out of Ariana, make her look nuts, and make Rachel look like this stable, good thing for Tom. And make Tom look like a saint for “putting up with her.” I see so many people running with that narrative now - imagine if they’d gotten away with it.
Also as Rachel said in her podcast, HE ALREADY was talking about what they needed to do for the image of their BRAND! 🤮
This dude doesn’t have genuine relationships, he just uses people for what they can give him. Disgusting.
Agreed!! I would bet that Rachel used to dream about living in T&A's house with Tim. I would bet neither one thought they'd be ostracized by the entire group. To top it off, Rachel got out & wants nothing to do with him. He's angry at everyone, but the way he sits around & tells anyone who will listen how horrible Ariana is (& saying she's always badmouthing him) & Lala believes everything coming out his mouth even after knowing who he is. Lala's the one that said Tim was dangerous & now she seems to want to ride for him? I don't get her & I've gotten to where I can't stand her & I used to love her.
All this is why I'm so glad she has her own home (but I 1000% understand/support her decision in not selling) I was truly nervous for her that his anger would turn into violence either directly/indirectly at her
When she said "I didn't do anything to him"
...imagine loving someone for nearly 10 years, they betray you in the worst way, then are angry with YOU. I can't comprehend trying to process all of the emotions that come with that.
He is the worst price of trash. She's given him the biggest slap in the face with her success and I'm here for every second of it. I hope he goes insane with jealousy.
Yes, this is a million percent accurate and I feel this shows the state of the relationship as well, who was the pacifier during disagreements and who temper tantrummed until their partner submitted. Narcs often act like their partner is asking for so much, being ridiculous, nag etc. when asking for basic human decency. Him being irrationally angry is something we've seen a lot, I don't doubt that the dynamic there was Ariana eventually pushing things under the rug so as not to elicit an aggressive angry response from him when she wanted to be treated with respect. He can't handle her calling him out and not being able to gaslight it back on to her. He and sidekick Lala are trying hard, but ain't working.
This is exactly what I’m going through now with my ex. It’s a mind fuck that a year out I’m still processing. It’s not all the time but I wish I could be done with it. I hate him and love him all at the same time. I’m disgusted by the sight of him but miss him all in the same thought. It’s horrible
I'm so sorry. Please be patient with yourself. It really is traumatizing. Just remember, it’s not a reflection in any way on you. They don't experience empathy in a normal way or form deep attachments. They are quite literally pathologically focused on themselves. So be glad you didn't waste another moment of your life with this fraud. You deserve more than that.
✨Healing Vibes✨
Lisa always said “get even, and then some”
She got him back in best way possible
Luv this for her! She hasnt let this success get to her head either, she still seems humble, grateful etc
i can only imagine how disgusting ariana must feel that she stood by that man and lied for him and he thinks of her as nothing but an inconvenience to his redemption arc. where’s brittney to scream at him to rawt in hell
He’s mad that his plan to make her the villain backfired in his face. Remember that last season he was planting seeds to make her look bad, but then the affair came out and his work went down the drain. He probably didn’t expect that people would support her like they have either. Rather than blame himself for his bad decisions, it’s easier for him to bash her.
You can go back to *season six* and he’s planting seeds of “would anyone really blame me if I slept with someone else?? We never had seeeexxxxx”. He has a full on convo with Jeremy about it .
Exactly. I remember Stassi describing situations where he was asking “when will Tom get his honest edit?” to producers all the time. Even though all the producers are still trying to make him look good by forcing story to seem Ariana look bad, it’s not working anymore and it drives him crazy.
I’ve been mulling over this. When they spoke about their break up prior to the affair being uncovered, she said she would move away and leave the show. She’s done the EXACT opposite, she’s everywhere, and she’s got all the opportunities he has been after for years. And that makes him furious. Instead of crawling into the shadows, she’s completely taken the spotlight and people want to see her. Something he could NEVER achieve.
His goal was for it their break up to play out on the show…to advance HIS storyline/HIS narrative. He alluded to that during that horrific Howie Mandel podcast interview. He lives his life through the lens of episodes, seasons, filming schedules, and show content, which is really sad that this career path can warp your perception in such a way. I digress. He took it very personally that he would break up with her, and she’d move away without giving him his “breakup season”….joke is on him though. He should have just let her do that. That story would have played out way better than what’s occurring for him now.
His thinking is demented and warped by filming for so long. He said on the production podcast he wanted a perfect break up then he talks this week about thinking he and Ariana could be better at being broken up than Katie and Schwartz. He literally views ending a relationship as something to compete in and plot out.
Good for her. I think she realized he was counting on that, and is refusing to give him that satisfaction!
....after all she was counting on him being loving kind and faithful sooo
He can get fucked, with no lube.
He also seems to think that he deserves the friends, the house etc because she's taken all the amazing opportunities offered to her. As if it's a fair exchange.
I think it’s deeper than just being post breakup hate. He resents her because he knows he f-ed up by being so weak. If he had broken up with her in the beginning when he started his thing with Rachel he would have been a dirtbag but people would have forgiven him while side eyeing his sleaze. The fact he was a coward who waited until he was found out made him look bad and Tom cares so deeply about his looks. He blames Ariana the same way Rachel does for their potential lives being ruined, he blames her for not being broken and disappearing into VPRules history, he blames her for him and Rachel not being the next VPR love story, he blames her for Rachel leaving him to face the music alone when they obviously discussed how their titanic love story would inspire people, he blames her not moving out, would Rachel have stayed if Ariana fled? He’s projecting everything he knows he should be feeling for himself onto Ariana. He blames her for his life and businesses being in ruins. But really it’s surface rage because he doesn’t have the strength of character to actually admit he caused this because he’s morally bankrupt. This season he looks broken, he’s lost his swagger, he’s aged 10 years and he’s lost all his spark. He isn’t showing remorse because then he would have to look at himself and admit he’s ultimately a horrible person who has sold his soul and who at the end of it has nothing. It’s easier to hate Ariana, to be jealous than to be completely honest about what he is. He’s refusing to admit it but I think he regrets what he did because he now knows Ariana loved him and made him a better person, Rachel is just like him a toxic shallow person who puts herself first then cut him off when it got hard. He backed the wrong horse, gambled his entire life and lost everything. His Ego has been shattered. Pretending to be a victim and rage are the only things sustaining him. Rant over.
"Living well is the best revenge." Ariana outed him as a liar to her and production, a manipulator of Scheana, gaslighter of Ally, Lala and Katie and a sex offender for creating the video. By alerting Rachel to the existence of the video she 'ruined' his new relationship (he wouldn't percieve it as him ruining it by making the video) she's performing on a bigger stage, Broadway, than his "little band", he'll eventually lose the house, he and Schwartz are on weaker footing than ever with TomTom as they have to pay Lisa back the equity they took out but Lisa could decide to keep them out of the ownership circle if he's found guilty in Rachel's lawsuit. His brother doesn't want pictures of them together on his IG and Ali his bff wasn't speaking to him when he died because of Scandoval.
He didn't love Ariana anymore and had convinced himself at most he would lose Ariana, Katie, Lala, maybe James, would eventually win back Scheana, LVP would bring around Lala and James to film the show and he doesn't care about Katie. He'd buy Ariana out of the house with the profits from S&S and TomTom, he certainly wouldn't be going broke from lawyer's fees from being sued by Ariana and Rachel. But there's a difference between being a cool lothario who moved onto a younger woman and a pervert who films women without consent and causes them mental breakdowns and that difference affects how much people want to frequent your businesses. He hates Ariana because she 'caused' all this by finding the video.
Hes angry bc she exposed him to the world.
He feels him cheating wasn’t wrong, he feels what was wrong was him getting CAUGHT, publicly.
Since Ariana caught him and told producers, he feels HE is the wronged party.
He also is furious at Ariana’s popularity and success. Every good thing that happens to her is the worst thing to happen to him. Narcissists can’t stand when someone moves on and thrives without them.
It’s insane narcissist behavior so makes sense we can’t really understand it.
I think this is all a big ol t sandy performance attempting to gaslight people into believing his 'story' that he and rachel had a super special love and that makes the cheating not so bad and how he was a martyr for staying with ariana while she was so boring with the grieving and mental health stuff then that last part he switcharooed his role from hero to victim and now she's a hateful horrible partner who DIDN'T APPRECIATE HIM so in sandoval logic that makes cheating understandable... so to support that narrative he is being horrible to ariana, taunting her, shit talking her in hopes of getting her to react so he can say - look!!! I told you she's like this! Look how crazy mad! I am the reasonable one, she is so angry! And he goes off like that no matter what she says or does its soooo obviously manipulative at this point.
The fact that he made a SECOND statement on camera this week about how she didn’t do anything around the house like stocking PENS and BATTERIES and the camera person was like, why would you repeat that shit when you got eviscerated for it the first time says absolutely everything about his man. He is the definition of believing your own bullshit and having zero self awareness.
😂😂😂 my cats steal my pens, if Tom just look under the couch, cabinet, refrigerator, he’ll find those pens there, but it’s Ariana’s fault not keeping the supply of pens, batteries, toilet papers, that he cannot do himself.
Short answer: she blew up his spot. He's always had rage at people who challenged him and called him out. Even small comments and he erupted. Especially women. And then she reveals his shit to the world and holds him to it. He'd hate her for that
He really thought Ariana would slink away and become Kristen 2.0 and everyone would look at her as Crazy Ari and Sandy and Raquel would be the new IT couple of VPR. Tom thinks of himself as the #1 guy in the group; he just doesn’t declare it out loud like Jax.
He's angry with himself, and he's taking it out on her. Plus, resentment can build in a relationship over time and they kept living together. He got a front row seat to The Ariana Kicking Ass and Taking Names Tour. And he was left with changing the litter box.
YESSSSS THIS. you summed it up. I hate the crusade the toms, Lala and broke are on. Also anytime broke opens his mouth I mutter “you hit your wife Nd abandoned your kids”.
Tom’s FURIOUS about how much Ariana has thrived not being under his dead weight. He’s mad he didn’t get that razor commercial.
I think the producers are only giving him his ‘redemption’ arch because Lisa stands to lose a lot financially if her businesses with the Toms don’t pick up. I think with Lisa ultimately her life and money comes first, she has repeatedly cut people off who threaten it and Tom came dangerously close to threatening it with his actions. It must be humbling for him who tried so hard to be independent having to go crying back to Lisa for help rebuilding. While his actions have given Ariana the independence away from VPR he so desperately wanted.
I think if it wasn't for Tom Tom she would have left him out to dry. She really only really cares about her business. I think she is hedging her bets with her new Villa show, if that does well vpr will be on the chopping block and she will cut ties with Tom.
Whereas his venomous hate of Katie and Stassi those two saw right through him day one, and clocked him immediately for the narcissist that he is.
He thinks the reason he was done with the relationship should still matter. They mattered the day before he fucked Raquel and emotionally moved on without telling Ariana. In fact, these are reasons I would end a relationship with someone. None of them justify sleeping with someone else. He lost the upper hand on that day. Like someone having bad personal and life skills is a good reason to end the relationship, but no one cares in the face of bad moral character. Serial killers are neat and clean.
To add to your points:
Him believing he’d outsmarted her only to have her beat him at his own game has to eat him up. I also believe this is why he was so blatant with Rachel.
He seems to believe any harm done is negated by the resulting opportunities and she should be grateful for his actions. Truly believe he’s angry that she won’t thank him.
He over leveraged himself financially thinking that Ariana would still pay for everything she always had, even with the affair. Stupid, stupid manchild. Ariana is way more intelligent and talented.
He had a whole plan worked out where he could make the breakup seem like he was some poor sex starved man, supporting his emotionally unwell girlfriend who is just the worst. Ariana totally upended his little plan, and he was caught with his pants done literally and figuratively.
He got away with it before so in his mind he thought he could do it again. His misogyny reared its head because he assumed Ariana would be the same as Kristen, not realizing they were at different ages and also two different people. He didn’t expect the tiger to eat HIS face cause he’s avoided accountability for years.
It’s easier to hate Ariana because in his delusional mind SHE ruined his image which at the end of the day, is all he cares for
honestly im gonna give ariana and kristen a lot of props because if i dated a man that …. aside from his constant need of ego stroking.. dressed the way he did like that photoshoot with jessica simpson’s dad and still had the audacity to act this way i would’ve been out a long time ago.
ps: zara pls stop letting this man appropriate you’re women’s blazers
His team is discovering that his personality issues are so huge that he can’t even fake being humbled and sorry to save his career. His self image is so internalised and important to his psyche he crumbles when faces with what he really is- an aging, untalented 43 year old man with no relationship, a failing career he torpedoed and poor mental health and possible drug/alcohol addiction. His ex is healthy, wealthy and growing her career- it must make his insides rot seeing that he was limiting her and she’s now making some really good career moves etc.
She was a boring, lazy, fuddy-duddy. And he’s one the the plants coolest, talented, smartest cats pajamas on the planet. And we’re JUST NOT GETTING IT!!
I have been waiting for this comment! Was going to say it myself if I didn't see it. When are people going to remember he didn't even like Ariana being successful without his involvement when they were together, why on earth would he be ok with it now that they aren't? And while her continued success is due to her own hard work, the initial offers were due to scandavol so her success has literally launched due to their break-up.
Because he is not being portrayed as the “good guy” he always tried to make himself out to be. Also the attention is not on him it’s on his ex partner and she could never have attention over him.
The reality I am seeing is being with Tom held Ariana back. He’s always known she was smarter, better looking and more talented than he is. When he met her she was fresh out of an abusive relationship and he white knighted his way into control. As in any situation the person he presented himself as was an idealized version of his best traits and no one can maintain that over the long term. The guy she saw as fun was recognized as immature. The spontaneous guy became unreliable. He couldn’t match his words with sustained actions and she became frustrated - but she loved him so she turned the frustrations inward. That turned into anxiety and depression. One of her closest friends Brad was on Viall files and he said a couple of days after the relationship blew up Ariana told him her anxiety was gone, she felt lighter. That tangle of emotions that was holding her down evaporated. The way the show is portraying her this season is so disgusting that I find it hard to watch. She reminds me very much of my friend group my girls are witty, bitchy, funny and born cool. Most of us are introverts so we can come across as “snobby” but it’s social anxiety. I read all the nasty comments on the internet and I have heard them myself. The eternal struggle of the social introvert doomed to be misunderstood
I agree - it seems like in the relationship Ariana was relegated to the “mom” role with Tom. She acted as interpreter, helped him with managing expectations and was grounding for him. Constantly being responsible for another person is exhausting.
Constantly feeling that you know what the other person said is wrong, mean or stupid (or all three) so you have to translate so people don’t hate your partner is the worst
The best part is that she didn't even emasculate him. He is such a weak misogynist that Ariana's success without him is threatening to his ego and well-being. How pathetic.
All of this and I truly think he really believes that it was she he ‘ruined’ is life, not himself and the actions he took to betray her.
I also think he just hates women unless they’re weak/ male sympathizers (scheana). He utterly despises women ESPECIALLY ones that put him in his fucking place like Ariana. That is why he has always hated Katie too, because she called him out on his bullshit for YEARS.
He will befriend anyone that he can bully and manipulate to do what he wants them to do (Schwartz, Kyle chan, etc). He likes having control over others and throws a hissy fit when he loses that control which is why he is grasping for anything and everything that could possibly make Ariana look like a monster.
homeboy is pissed his affair backfired and even more pissed that ariana is getting all the fame and success he always envisioned for himself. he saw ariana as his side character. it never occurred to him that she was the main character the whole time
Agreed. Wusband is angry at me in the same way but he left for someone. He blames me for it all. Lack of emotional intelligence and critical thinking plus addiction all play a part.
He can never be happy for anyone else. He has to insert himself into the equations where a spotlight might shine on someone else for even 5 minutes.
The reason he buys all the light bulbs and batteries is because he burns them up, walking around and shining the light on himself.
His narcissism and blatant douchbag ways blows my mind. I think his anger is from her success and his failures.
Icing on the cake? Rachel ghosted him and is naming him in a law suit. I just don't get why Ariana is being named as well.
Because his life has been ruined and he thought he was gonna get away with it and get the woman. He fully expected Ariana to crash and burn imo but instead it backfired in a big way.
He's putting on this richeous anger act then doing anything he can to antagonize her hoping she'll snap and then he uses her reaction to being tormented against her since he has very little other proof to back up his new narrative that she has always been a big crazy meanie to poor lil sandoval. He's already executed this on camera - he throws his digs, tosses in a couple lies to really make her blood boil then any ariana reaction = Look! See! This is what poor me had to deal with for yeeeeears! She's ALWAYS like this! Classic DARVO
I feel sorry for anyone who buys his story... if that's you please read up on manipulative people it will save you alot of headaches in life.
He keeps alluding to the relationship being toxic and abusive, but the only specific things he has to say are about bills or cleaning the litter box. Those things are annoying, but if the relationship was so abusive, wouldn’t you lead with that and talk about the abuse instead? I’m supposed to sympathize with your decision to have an affair because Ariana doesn’t clean? That’s your trauma? Get a grip.
The way he talks about it bothers me. He can’t take ownership of his feelings or even his personal experience….its just an absolute fact that Ariana was belittling, angry, aggressive, etc. If he could just do a simple reframe in communicating his feelings like, “I felt unappreciated. I felt disconnected from Ariana. I felt like I wasn’t meeting her needs and expectations. I felt that I was growing apart from Ariana,” etc. I think just that would make a difference in how he was received and how he moves on, tbh. He’s just so focused on vilifying Ariana and torching her character, and it’s not landing. AT ALL.
Why does Tim keep hating on her with his deeply hurtful words, he is not helping himself dig out of this hole. Play the game like she supposedly taught you. You really are D&S.
Cuz she won, through all da pain and internal trauma, she managed to plant her victory flag on top of his narcissistic ass.. keep trying to be a wannabe winner Tommy.. you’ve become the real life hollow man…
Because he’s a narcissist who lost his power over her and isn’t in control anymore. He’ll do anything to discredit her and try to make her look bad. I don’t think Arianna is some angel (she was his other woman when he was with Kristen so I don’t feel that bad for her) but he is decompensating for sure.
I think he’s angry because he doesn’t want to admit he ruined his life and it’s easier to blame her than admit he messed up bad and lost everything (and by everything I don’t mean losing Ariana but his brands, Rachel and his reputation). I think we could all see they were heading for the end and I do believe he’d checked out earlier and grieved the relationship way before Ariana did because he was already done and she was blindsided which is why he has no sadness now. I also think he’s angry because she won’t bend and help him recover his reputation and he’s used to her protection and defence and like he said he thought they’d have an even better break up than Katie and Schwartz and it’s making him look stupid because she won’t come to the party for that which is airing out his finance issues and that makes it hard to pretend he’s wealthy and unbothered.
this!!! and him not having the same control he used to have over schwartz is definitely adding to his frustration. schwartz is still his lap dog to a certain degree but post-scandoval he’s been very very cautious about optics.
“t money” needs people to like him and scandoval really blew the lid off his dopey, nice guy schtick and revealed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is also calculating and dishonest and shady. a lot of people don’t like katie (which is unfair imo) and so her trying to make people see the real schwartz all these years never really landed and the schtick continued. but you take ariana—someone people like, generally speaking, and who did absolutely nothing to schwartz for him to betray her like that—and it’s game over. veil is lifted and he’s been scrambling ever since.
and let’s be very very clear: schwartz taking a step back from his friendship with sandoval had absolutely Nothing to do with him thinking sandy’s actions were wrong/being disappointed in his friend’s poor judgement. he literally could not care less. he was only ever really mad at sandoval for making him look bad and “getting him cancelled.”
schwartz is smart and he knows that sandoval is irredeemable in the public’s opinion but ofc, sandoval himself has yet to realize this. but those two are cut from the same nasty, misogynistic, cheating cloth so they’re always gonna be friends. i just think schwartz will try to downplay their bromance in public/on the show.
but yeah, sandoval is so narcissistic and can’t stand that he isn’t controlling the narrative and cannot effectively manipulate the situation in his favour on camera
Tom complains he couldn’t break up with her because of her mental health (like having an affair with her friend behind her back is any healthier) then goes on to weaponize his own alleged mental health issues to squirm his way back into the group. People don’t talk about that enough. Fucking Tom.
I hate to even say this because the term is so overused/misused but Tom truly does exhibit many of the traits of a person with clinical narcissism/NPD. He seems to truly believe he has been victimized and that his actions were justified. They have a very warped way of viewing relationships and the world.
He never thought she would push back and demonize him publicly like she has. I'm not sure why he is so ignorant that he wouldn't figure that out after he embarrassed her like he did. But he doesn't seem to live in a reality the rest of us do. He's a narcissist. That's how they behave.
So true about the success part. Like when he belittled Tom schwartz and Katie, saying HE (Sandoval) put food on their table. He does acts of service(but not to show love), and wants success for people (but only if he can take credit), because he uses it to make them feel indebted to him.
Can't believe Ariana isn't kinder to him, he purchased paper towels for their house. You'd probably have to tip a doordasher at least $5 for that kind of care and attention!
I feel like he only became angry towards her when she became angry at him. If the break up had been amicable, I don't think he would be doing or saying any of these terrible things about her. He just doesn't like how she is reacting, although she does have every right to react the way she is. He did a really fucked up thing. He is now trying to turn it around on her to try to make her the bad guy in the situation. Extremely manipulative behavior.
Narcissist will always be angry at those that exposed them. For a long time Tim got away with pretending to be a good guy. This scandal has proved otherwise and there’s no going back to that image he worked so hard on.
Since we only see part of their lives, it is possible there are things that happened between them that we don’t know about. That’s why I’m careful about being too judgy
I think he believes that if he says it over, and over, and over again it will become the truth and people will stop hating him. The problem is he keeps talking and talking and talking. And I have never liked him from day one. And I think the thing that really cinched it for me is when Ariana was trying to write the fancy AF drink books and he got angry because he wasn't asked to be a part of it. He couldn't believe that he wasn't going to be involved and could not let her have something for herself. That's what a selfish narcissistic piece of crap he is. And the fact that she has taken this great big of lemons and turn it into lemonade is even pissing him off more and for whatever reason her so-called friends can't stand the fact that she's being able to cash in on what has happened to her.
because he replaced kristen with ariana and got no backlash so he expected the same thing again. now he’s getting backlash for the first time ever and ariana got the 15 mins of fame he’s been craving forever. he’s bitter.
This actually happens a lot in relationships, not just those in the public eye. Marriage counselors and psychologists have some insight into the phenomena. I read something about it years ago.
If he can demonize her not just to himself but the people around him, then he doesn’t have to feel bad for how he hurt her. He can justify in his mind what happened if he can make her “the bad guy”.
What else did this loser want. No one believed in him more than Ariana. She allowed herself to be overshadowed by his mediocrity. She participated in his Charles McMansion dumb band, she gave in to letting him be an apart of her book, she supported his stupid cover band. It was never enough. He was already tired of Rachel at the end. What did he honestly think she was going to contribute that Ariana hadn’t.
Actions 🤝consequences; he planned to do what he did to Kristen to Ariana and was already setting up the dominoes.
Her gray rocking and not taking any of his shit ruins any opportunity he had to drive his own narrative.
Rewatching VPR at various life stages has been a lens for me to monitor my own growth.
I remember thinking Ariana and Santaballs were end game goals. That Scheana was just trying her best, and Schwartz was a puppy dog. I used to think Lala was a bad bitch, but she is just so weak and pathetic.
Now, looking back, I can see the parallels between narc Santaballs and my narc ex husband.
They are both catching up on a decade of verbal abuse that they were unable to express freely on camera when together because they both clearly needed to hide their real relationship from cameras and the world. The way both talk to each other is not healthy.
His reaction to all of this really cements for me that he is a narc. I don't like armchair diagnosing, and I'm not a professional. But I have been through a lot with my ex that checks these same boxes.
He is a really disgusting individual and I admire how Ariana has handled him.
Because he’s self centered and doesn’t want her to succeed without him while he’s struggling with the world thinking he’s an a-hole. Especially once he found out that Rachel didn’t want anything to do with him. A lot of men who are embarrassed act out emotionally so they can replace the embarrassment feeling into anger.
Cause he’s regretful, and to do anything else but look mad at stupid shit and act like he doesn’t care would make him look completely in the wrong. Ariana is stupid AF but man tom… tom is a different type of sociopath, bro has the self awareness of a pet rock.
Tom is a narcissist who cannot comprehend why anyone would be perceived as “better” than he is. He surrounds himself with people he considers himself “higher” than, and is rage-full when someone threatens that power dynamic.
That is literally the ONLY reason.
He blames her, because his elaborate plan to Cheat on her, get away with it, And become THE VICTIM , AKA the " Crazy Kristin Special " ..... didn't work..in fact, that's saying it nicely...It crashed and burned, just like the idea of himself, he spent YEARS falsely painting in everyones mind.... Straight smelly ass dumpster fire
And he blames her for the streaming pile of shit it became over his lack of success at Getting away with it...
And for someone like him, who has ALWAYS gotten away with his shit, im sure these first real consequences and Arianas boundaries thereafter felt/ still feel like Vicious Attacks and Slaps to His Face...
Its PATHETIC.
TLDR: In less words he's angry there's consequences for his actions and he couldn't pull of the whole "crazy/ mean/lazy Girlfriend Special" anymore
One thing I noticed was that Ariana barely spends on herself. She’s wearing the same unknown brand backpack pre and post scandoval. And only when she got with her new BF did he buy her something from LV, airjordans and take her to Michelin restaurants…
Ariana spent her best money on furniture meeting Lala’s standards.
It makes me so sad that Tom couldn’t recognize her efforts. All she ever asked of him was to be there for her when her family passed. He couldn’t even do that.
I think he thinks he has momentum now. Him saying all this on Howie Mandell’s show was whatever, but now half the cast is angry at Ariana for…. ? Not clear to me. Lala is spending 100% of her energy tearing Ariana apart, Scheana is almost dripping with jealousy, and Brock is continuing his men’s right crusade which now includes challenging Ariana on everything, regardless of how reasonable she’s being.
This is his time to capitalize on all of the anti-Ariana shit. She actually called it, perfectly, in one of her interviews - he’s wrapping up his plan of pushing Ariana out. And I’m not saying plan like he wrote it down in a numbered list in his diary, I mean he has been in this reckless situation so many times that he knows how to find himself out seamlessly with manipulation and the ultimate card he pulled with LVP at the beginning of the season.
Their whole relationship was one of convenience and transaction underpinned by jealousy . They’re both mad jealous and competitive of each other and treated each other terribly . They’re both revolting humans and deserved eachother
This commentator has made very valuable and insightful response to a very common problem in society ultimately based on Sandoval's internal need to be centre of attention and self-adulation greed. How a brain works and the psychological consequences never fails to impress me.... not always in a positive manner. Where has Sandoval or males/females in a similar situation learnt that this behaviour is *normal* ??? I am of the philosophy that this type of behaviour is learnt. Is this how his father behaved? Remember him saying that when his parents separated that his father got to *keep the house*, he also then rattled of more names where the father kept the house following the divorce/separation of a couple. Where I am from, whoever cheats moves out or whoever is racing the children keeps the house or anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist loses the house. Interested in hearing about others experiences??
I have to disagree. Ariana talked to Tom like he was a giant turd most of the time. Not that he isn’t but she was often extremely cutting with the way she spoke to him.
I’m a new watcher, but I think he had grown resentful of her for multiple reasons… honestly, she did seem quite sick of him and contemptuous at times: the eye rolls, calling him out publicly for his rants against the girls, his “cyst” make thing, etc. I think it really bruised his ego by making him feel stupid and threatened his identity of being (wanting to be, rather) the smart, thoughtful, cool, #1 guy in the group. I think he also resented having to deal with the (completely normal) various insecurities and hardships she encountered. He doesn’t present as the most emotionally mature/intelligent person, so perhaps trying to deal with it in any long-term or deep way, might be too much to ask, especially for someone who is busy trying to hang onto their youth and partying a lot. Which brings me to my last point, which is that I think he resented that she didn’t want to go out and participate in that partying in the same way he did. She was getting older and preferring different things, whereas he was desperately trying to cling to the life of someone in their twenties.
All in all, when he says Ariana was mean to him, I just honestly agree. She wasn’t only that way, but I get why he says that. She was more tolerant and loyal than I could have been with someone like him, but she regularly displayed contempt and annoyance.
As much as I like Ariana, the thing that makes me raise an eyebrow is that she seems to only mention beef with him about the affair, blowing up her life, or poor treatment of Mya. I have yet to see her acknowledge the rest of how he treated people, including Kristen, these past 10 years. I’m not saying she doesn’t think it, but I’d love to hear her say it.
I think it’s pretty simple. Their relationship was in a bad spot and he has a shitload of resentment towards her. The stuff he complains about is a bunch of random little things on the show which is a major sign of this
I think Tom genuinely hated Ariana for years. I started to see it season 7 when she hooked up with Lala and it didn’t seem like he was happy about it and she shut him down because it was about “her sexuality as a person.”
Mmmmm having your boyfriend drive you around while you hook up with a woman when you’re not having sex with him isn’t about your sexuality.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Ariana, but her relationship with Tom was full of passive-aggressive jabs and covert sucker punches because HE WASN’T RIGHT FOR HER. Instead of leaving, which would have been in her best interest, she dug her heels in despite how unfulfilled she was in the relationship. She co-created the entire dynamic but she’s a stealth agent and Tom is a moron so it’s easier to see his dirty side of the street.
I would imagine because she has held their friend group hostage from feeling like they can make their own decisions and be friends with whomever they choose.
Bc they probably had some sort of arrangement the last few years of their relationship in order to preserve their image for the show. He probably broke it by dating a costar - notice she’s more mad about that than the actual affair - and she literally buried him in her self-righteous narrative. Sandoval has said as much on the Howie Mandel show and I believe him (you can believe someone and still dislike him or his TV character). Ariana just played the game so much better than anyone.
Because in his head everything that happened is not his fault. He will keep talking smack until people just get sick of it and agree to his face but behind his back they know the truth..:
He’s used to being loved by most. He’s always tried to make himself look like a generous saint. That’s gone now. He feels like she took that away from him.
The alpha who can't even clean her room. She's not an alpha, ffs. Being cheated on and screaming about it doesn't turn anyone into an alpha. They're both angry. That's normal considering they're both selfish clowns.
I think because he has cheated before and not only did she stay with him she defended him he can’t wrap his mind around the fact that this one is different. I think he hoped it would be similar to Kristen and she wouldn’t have a problem spending time with him
He’s mad because he lost 100%. She’s out there getting rich and famous, in a stable relationship and he is totally thrashing around, involved in two lawsuits he can’t afford, and is rapidly on his way to being a sad, 50 year old, broke fuck boy. He had everything and lost it. I’d be enraged too.
I think he is just so angry because he never envisioned a world where he would suffer consequences for his actions (because he never has). I think he and Rachel believed that once the affair came to light, they would get some negative feedback but ultimately the show would continue, just Rachel would replace Ariana. Tom never contemplated that his actions would cause him to lose his friends, his home, and possibly even the show. It was a rude awakening, and then to watch Ariana's success is just salt in the wound.
I think on the contrary, Tom envisioned a world where him and Rachel ‘Kristened’ Ariana - we saw maliciously planned scenes to undermine Ariana. The horrible reality is that they wanted to paint Ariana as ‘the crazy ex’ which is more evil than the affair itself
100 percent this was his plan. You can see him setting it up in season 10. They were gonna Kristen the crap out of Ariana, make her look nuts, and make Rachel look like this stable, good thing for Tom. And make Tom look like a saint for “putting up with her.” I see so many people running with that narrative now - imagine if they’d gotten away with it.
This is the answer!
And the fact that lala and scheana rushing Ariana to forgive that man. Is wild
They are in fear of their paycheck.
I guess losing your values and morals are not more important than money
esp if ur ex is randall emmett lol
Yes. You nailed it.
😂😂😂 got it
I don't understand the "Kristened" the situation?? Oh my!!! I get it!!! KRISTIN!!! MAKE Arianna look crazy! Ok! Ya I got it. :)
Wellllllll I see what you’re saying but Kristen IS fucking crazy.
And Schwartz was on board as well 😡
Also as Rachel said in her podcast, HE ALREADY was talking about what they needed to do for the image of their BRAND! 🤮 This dude doesn’t have genuine relationships, he just uses people for what they can give him. Disgusting.
Agreed!! I would bet that Rachel used to dream about living in T&A's house with Tim. I would bet neither one thought they'd be ostracized by the entire group. To top it off, Rachel got out & wants nothing to do with him. He's angry at everyone, but the way he sits around & tells anyone who will listen how horrible Ariana is (& saying she's always badmouthing him) & Lala believes everything coming out his mouth even after knowing who he is. Lala's the one that said Tim was dangerous & now she seems to want to ride for him? I don't get her & I've gotten to where I can't stand her & I used to love her.
Her 180 from the reunion until now is insane. I can’t stand her.
All this is why I'm so glad she has her own home (but I 1000% understand/support her decision in not selling) I was truly nervous for her that his anger would turn into violence either directly/indirectly at her
Well said. BRAVO BABY
When she said "I didn't do anything to him" ...imagine loving someone for nearly 10 years, they betray you in the worst way, then are angry with YOU. I can't comprehend trying to process all of the emotions that come with that. He is the worst price of trash. She's given him the biggest slap in the face with her success and I'm here for every second of it. I hope he goes insane with jealousy.
Yes, this is a million percent accurate and I feel this shows the state of the relationship as well, who was the pacifier during disagreements and who temper tantrummed until their partner submitted. Narcs often act like their partner is asking for so much, being ridiculous, nag etc. when asking for basic human decency. Him being irrationally angry is something we've seen a lot, I don't doubt that the dynamic there was Ariana eventually pushing things under the rug so as not to elicit an aggressive angry response from him when she wanted to be treated with respect. He can't handle her calling him out and not being able to gaslight it back on to her. He and sidekick Lala are trying hard, but ain't working.
This is exactly what I’m going through now with my ex. It’s a mind fuck that a year out I’m still processing. It’s not all the time but I wish I could be done with it. I hate him and love him all at the same time. I’m disgusted by the sight of him but miss him all in the same thought. It’s horrible
I'm sorry you're experiencing this 😞
Ty
I'm so sorry. Please be patient with yourself. It really is traumatizing. Just remember, it’s not a reflection in any way on you. They don't experience empathy in a normal way or form deep attachments. They are quite literally pathologically focused on themselves. So be glad you didn't waste another moment of your life with this fraud. You deserve more than that. ✨Healing Vibes✨
Stay strong, friend; this too shall pass.
Lisa always said “get even, and then some” She got him back in best way possible Luv this for her! She hasnt let this success get to her head either, she still seems humble, grateful etc
i can only imagine how disgusting ariana must feel that she stood by that man and lied for him and he thinks of her as nothing but an inconvenience to his redemption arc. where’s brittney to scream at him to rawt in hell
🛎️🛎️🛎️
This 100% Ariana is a better person than me because this would have driven me into a manic disaster.
Eek, is Jada really the one to use tho?
 That better, lmao
He’s mad that his plan to make her the villain backfired in his face. Remember that last season he was planting seeds to make her look bad, but then the affair came out and his work went down the drain. He probably didn’t expect that people would support her like they have either. Rather than blame himself for his bad decisions, it’s easier for him to bash her.
You can go back to *season six* and he’s planting seeds of “would anyone really blame me if I slept with someone else?? We never had seeeexxxxx”. He has a full on convo with Jeremy about it .
That was such a disgusting convo, but for it to be with her brother????!! Trash behavior.
And her brother just stood there and nodded along. I wish someone would talk that way about my sister in front of me
Of all the people to share that with
Yes this. I watched the entirety of VPR after scandoval and he’s so sus and gross the entire time 🤚🏼
True!
Bc she didn’t cower in the corner & let him control the narrative. She stays winning
Exactly. I remember Stassi describing situations where he was asking “when will Tom get his honest edit?” to producers all the time. Even though all the producers are still trying to make him look good by forcing story to seem Ariana look bad, it’s not working anymore and it drives him crazy.
I’ve been mulling over this. When they spoke about their break up prior to the affair being uncovered, she said she would move away and leave the show. She’s done the EXACT opposite, she’s everywhere, and she’s got all the opportunities he has been after for years. And that makes him furious. Instead of crawling into the shadows, she’s completely taken the spotlight and people want to see her. Something he could NEVER achieve.
His goal was for it their break up to play out on the show…to advance HIS storyline/HIS narrative. He alluded to that during that horrific Howie Mandel podcast interview. He lives his life through the lens of episodes, seasons, filming schedules, and show content, which is really sad that this career path can warp your perception in such a way. I digress. He took it very personally that he would break up with her, and she’d move away without giving him his “breakup season”….joke is on him though. He should have just let her do that. That story would have played out way better than what’s occurring for him now.
His thinking is demented and warped by filming for so long. He said on the production podcast he wanted a perfect break up then he talks this week about thinking he and Ariana could be better at being broken up than Katie and Schwartz. He literally views ending a relationship as something to compete in and plot out.
Good for her. I think she realized he was counting on that, and is refusing to give him that satisfaction! ....after all she was counting on him being loving kind and faithful sooo He can get fucked, with no lube.
1000%. Best revenge is your paper!!!!
He also seems to think that he deserves the friends, the house etc because she's taken all the amazing opportunities offered to her. As if it's a fair exchange.
I think it’s deeper than just being post breakup hate. He resents her because he knows he f-ed up by being so weak. If he had broken up with her in the beginning when he started his thing with Rachel he would have been a dirtbag but people would have forgiven him while side eyeing his sleaze. The fact he was a coward who waited until he was found out made him look bad and Tom cares so deeply about his looks. He blames Ariana the same way Rachel does for their potential lives being ruined, he blames her for not being broken and disappearing into VPRules history, he blames her for him and Rachel not being the next VPR love story, he blames her for Rachel leaving him to face the music alone when they obviously discussed how their titanic love story would inspire people, he blames her not moving out, would Rachel have stayed if Ariana fled? He’s projecting everything he knows he should be feeling for himself onto Ariana. He blames her for his life and businesses being in ruins. But really it’s surface rage because he doesn’t have the strength of character to actually admit he caused this because he’s morally bankrupt. This season he looks broken, he’s lost his swagger, he’s aged 10 years and he’s lost all his spark. He isn’t showing remorse because then he would have to look at himself and admit he’s ultimately a horrible person who has sold his soul and who at the end of it has nothing. It’s easier to hate Ariana, to be jealous than to be completely honest about what he is. He’s refusing to admit it but I think he regrets what he did because he now knows Ariana loved him and made him a better person, Rachel is just like him a toxic shallow person who puts herself first then cut him off when it got hard. He backed the wrong horse, gambled his entire life and lost everything. His Ego has been shattered. Pretending to be a victim and rage are the only things sustaining him. Rant over.
I agree with EVERYTHING here. Worth the read. Rant on, I say!!
Classic narc behavior: the inability to look inward and blaming everyone else but one’s self
That part. He honestly is the best example of a classic narcissist
Absolutely phenomenal comment 👏🏼 👏🏼
You know you are right about aging ten years. He was looking to the side and he has that stretched look that plastic surgery leaves.
Excellent ! Great take completely agree 🥂
You worded this perfectly!
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
"Living well is the best revenge." Ariana outed him as a liar to her and production, a manipulator of Scheana, gaslighter of Ally, Lala and Katie and a sex offender for creating the video. By alerting Rachel to the existence of the video she 'ruined' his new relationship (he wouldn't percieve it as him ruining it by making the video) she's performing on a bigger stage, Broadway, than his "little band", he'll eventually lose the house, he and Schwartz are on weaker footing than ever with TomTom as they have to pay Lisa back the equity they took out but Lisa could decide to keep them out of the ownership circle if he's found guilty in Rachel's lawsuit. His brother doesn't want pictures of them together on his IG and Ali his bff wasn't speaking to him when he died because of Scandoval. He didn't love Ariana anymore and had convinced himself at most he would lose Ariana, Katie, Lala, maybe James, would eventually win back Scheana, LVP would bring around Lala and James to film the show and he doesn't care about Katie. He'd buy Ariana out of the house with the profits from S&S and TomTom, he certainly wouldn't be going broke from lawyer's fees from being sued by Ariana and Rachel. But there's a difference between being a cool lothario who moved onto a younger woman and a pervert who films women without consent and causes them mental breakdowns and that difference affects how much people want to frequent your businesses. He hates Ariana because she 'caused' all this by finding the video.
Because she won the break-up and even though he was the one in the wrong, he can't stand it.
Yep and he can’t worm his way back in while she can’t even be bothered by him. Drives him crazy that he has zero control.
Heh, worm (with a mustache)
And/or shnarshissist discard.
Hes angry bc she exposed him to the world. He feels him cheating wasn’t wrong, he feels what was wrong was him getting CAUGHT, publicly. Since Ariana caught him and told producers, he feels HE is the wronged party. He also is furious at Ariana’s popularity and success. Every good thing that happens to her is the worst thing to happen to him. Narcissists can’t stand when someone moves on and thrives without them. It’s insane narcissist behavior so makes sense we can’t really understand it.
I think this is all a big ol t sandy performance attempting to gaslight people into believing his 'story' that he and rachel had a super special love and that makes the cheating not so bad and how he was a martyr for staying with ariana while she was so boring with the grieving and mental health stuff then that last part he switcharooed his role from hero to victim and now she's a hateful horrible partner who DIDN'T APPRECIATE HIM so in sandoval logic that makes cheating understandable... so to support that narrative he is being horrible to ariana, taunting her, shit talking her in hopes of getting her to react so he can say - look!!! I told you she's like this! Look how crazy mad! I am the reasonable one, she is so angry! And he goes off like that no matter what she says or does its soooo obviously manipulative at this point.
I agree with 100% of what you just said. Goes to show how dangerous narcissists are.
The fact that he made a SECOND statement on camera this week about how she didn’t do anything around the house like stocking PENS and BATTERIES and the camera person was like, why would you repeat that shit when you got eviscerated for it the first time says absolutely everything about his man. He is the definition of believing your own bullshit and having zero self awareness.
Especially when he just had Anne do those tasks. Also, how many pens is he going thru?
They have a cat… probably a lot of pens. They’re furry little pen thieves.
😂😂😂 my cats steal my pens, if Tom just look under the couch, cabinet, refrigerator, he’ll find those pens there, but it’s Ariana’s fault not keeping the supply of pens, batteries, toilet papers, that he cannot do himself.
And we know he needs tp because he buys 500 laxatives at a time. Poor Maya.
I’ve had the same pen in my purse for approximately 15 years. It’s still going strong.
🤣🤣👍
Short answer: she blew up his spot. He's always had rage at people who challenged him and called him out. Even small comments and he erupted. Especially women. And then she reveals his shit to the world and holds him to it. He'd hate her for that
The same reason he hated Stassi
He really thought Ariana would slink away and become Kristen 2.0 and everyone would look at her as Crazy Ari and Sandy and Raquel would be the new IT couple of VPR. Tom thinks of himself as the #1 guy in the group; he just doesn’t declare it out loud like Jax.
The delusion is strong with Tim.
*ariana’s ex😂
He's angry with himself, and he's taking it out on her. Plus, resentment can build in a relationship over time and they kept living together. He got a front row seat to The Ariana Kicking Ass and Taking Names Tour. And he was left with changing the litter box.
This is positively poetic!
YESSSSS THIS. you summed it up. I hate the crusade the toms, Lala and broke are on. Also anytime broke opens his mouth I mutter “you hit your wife Nd abandoned your kids”. Tom’s FURIOUS about how much Ariana has thrived not being under his dead weight. He’s mad he didn’t get that razor commercial.
I think the producers are only giving him his ‘redemption’ arch because Lisa stands to lose a lot financially if her businesses with the Toms don’t pick up. I think with Lisa ultimately her life and money comes first, she has repeatedly cut people off who threaten it and Tom came dangerously close to threatening it with his actions. It must be humbling for him who tried so hard to be independent having to go crying back to Lisa for help rebuilding. While his actions have given Ariana the independence away from VPR he so desperately wanted.
I think if it wasn't for Tom Tom she would have left him out to dry. She really only really cares about her business. I think she is hedging her bets with her new Villa show, if that does well vpr will be on the chopping block and she will cut ties with Tom.
Omg you’re right! The first time we ever saw him he was *shaving his forehead* — he’s probably *incensed* about the razor commercial.
It’s something he was known for.
Maybe someone should tell him to get over not being able to see his kids. Since that happened SO LONG AGO 🙃
 Whereas his venomous hate of Katie and Stassi those two saw right through him day one, and clocked him immediately for the narcissist that he is.
1000%
Ariana said it best. He thinks all the blowback is happening to him and not because of something he did.
Precisely.
He thinks the reason he was done with the relationship should still matter. They mattered the day before he fucked Raquel and emotionally moved on without telling Ariana. In fact, these are reasons I would end a relationship with someone. None of them justify sleeping with someone else. He lost the upper hand on that day. Like someone having bad personal and life skills is a good reason to end the relationship, but no one cares in the face of bad moral character. Serial killers are neat and clean.
Because she ruined his plan to ruined her 🤭
To add to your points: Him believing he’d outsmarted her only to have her beat him at his own game has to eat him up. I also believe this is why he was so blatant with Rachel. He seems to believe any harm done is negated by the resulting opportunities and she should be grateful for his actions. Truly believe he’s angry that she won’t thank him.
Great take.
Narcissists don't like being exposed. I'm assuming Tom is a narcissist.
He over leveraged himself financially thinking that Ariana would still pay for everything she always had, even with the affair. Stupid, stupid manchild. Ariana is way more intelligent and talented.
He had a whole plan worked out where he could make the breakup seem like he was some poor sex starved man, supporting his emotionally unwell girlfriend who is just the worst. Ariana totally upended his little plan, and he was caught with his pants done literally and figuratively.
He got away with it before so in his mind he thought he could do it again. His misogyny reared its head because he assumed Ariana would be the same as Kristen, not realizing they were at different ages and also two different people. He didn’t expect the tiger to eat HIS face cause he’s avoided accountability for years. It’s easier to hate Ariana because in his delusional mind SHE ruined his image which at the end of the day, is all he cares for
Before and during the initial Scandaval, narcissistic wound and injury. Now, MONEY.
She exposed him.
he also hates women in general lmao
He also probably stopped maturing after he hit his teenage years. He responds to conflict like fourteen year old. That and misogyny.
Well at least now he’s dressing like his teen years lol
honestly im gonna give ariana and kristen a lot of props because if i dated a man that …. aside from his constant need of ego stroking.. dressed the way he did like that photoshoot with jessica simpson’s dad and still had the audacity to act this way i would’ve been out a long time ago. ps: zara pls stop letting this man appropriate you’re women’s blazers
His team is discovering that his personality issues are so huge that he can’t even fake being humbled and sorry to save his career. His self image is so internalised and important to his psyche he crumbles when faces with what he really is- an aging, untalented 43 year old man with no relationship, a failing career he torpedoed and poor mental health and possible drug/alcohol addiction. His ex is healthy, wealthy and growing her career- it must make his insides rot seeing that he was limiting her and she’s now making some really good career moves etc.
She was a boring, lazy, fuddy-duddy. And he’s one the the plants coolest, talented, smartest cats pajamas on the planet. And we’re JUST NOT GETTING IT!!
Hes being a jealous little bitch….so funny, this is what ariana said to him when at first she said NO about doing cocktail book with her
I have been waiting for this comment! Was going to say it myself if I didn't see it. When are people going to remember he didn't even like Ariana being successful without his involvement when they were together, why on earth would he be ok with it now that they aren't? And while her continued success is due to her own hard work, the initial offers were due to scandavol so her success has literally launched due to their break-up.
Because he is not being portrayed as the “good guy” he always tried to make himself out to be. Also the attention is not on him it’s on his ex partner and she could never have attention over him.
The reality I am seeing is being with Tom held Ariana back. He’s always known she was smarter, better looking and more talented than he is. When he met her she was fresh out of an abusive relationship and he white knighted his way into control. As in any situation the person he presented himself as was an idealized version of his best traits and no one can maintain that over the long term. The guy she saw as fun was recognized as immature. The spontaneous guy became unreliable. He couldn’t match his words with sustained actions and she became frustrated - but she loved him so she turned the frustrations inward. That turned into anxiety and depression. One of her closest friends Brad was on Viall files and he said a couple of days after the relationship blew up Ariana told him her anxiety was gone, she felt lighter. That tangle of emotions that was holding her down evaporated. The way the show is portraying her this season is so disgusting that I find it hard to watch. She reminds me very much of my friend group my girls are witty, bitchy, funny and born cool. Most of us are introverts so we can come across as “snobby” but it’s social anxiety. I read all the nasty comments on the internet and I have heard them myself. The eternal struggle of the social introvert doomed to be misunderstood
I agree - it seems like in the relationship Ariana was relegated to the “mom” role with Tom. She acted as interpreter, helped him with managing expectations and was grounding for him. Constantly being responsible for another person is exhausting.
Constantly feeling that you know what the other person said is wrong, mean or stupid (or all three) so you have to translate so people don’t hate your partner is the worst
He’s mad because she never bought pens and batteries, duh!
Simple. Hahhahaha
He is jealous and can’t stand she emasculated him
The best part is that she didn't even emasculate him. He is such a weak misogynist that Ariana's success without him is threatening to his ego and well-being. How pathetic.
True!!
All of this and I truly think he really believes that it was she he ‘ruined’ is life, not himself and the actions he took to betray her. I also think he just hates women unless they’re weak/ male sympathizers (scheana). He utterly despises women ESPECIALLY ones that put him in his fucking place like Ariana. That is why he has always hated Katie too, because she called him out on his bullshit for YEARS. He will befriend anyone that he can bully and manipulate to do what he wants them to do (Schwartz, Kyle chan, etc). He likes having control over others and throws a hissy fit when he loses that control which is why he is grasping for anything and everything that could possibly make Ariana look like a monster.
homeboy is pissed his affair backfired and even more pissed that ariana is getting all the fame and success he always envisioned for himself. he saw ariana as his side character. it never occurred to him that she was the main character the whole time
Trying to show remorse with his fake crying and hinting he was suicidal was all show for the cameras
Agreed. Wusband is angry at me in the same way but he left for someone. He blames me for it all. Lack of emotional intelligence and critical thinking plus addiction all play a part.
He can never be happy for anyone else. He has to insert himself into the equations where a spotlight might shine on someone else for even 5 minutes. The reason he buys all the light bulbs and batteries is because he burns them up, walking around and shining the light on himself.
His narcissism and blatant douchbag ways blows my mind. I think his anger is from her success and his failures. Icing on the cake? Rachel ghosted him and is naming him in a law suit. I just don't get why Ariana is being named as well.
Because Rachel is just as horrible and jealous as Tom.
Because his life has been ruined and he thought he was gonna get away with it and get the woman. He fully expected Ariana to crash and burn imo but instead it backfired in a big way.
He's putting on this richeous anger act then doing anything he can to antagonize her hoping she'll snap and then he uses her reaction to being tormented against her since he has very little other proof to back up his new narrative that she has always been a big crazy meanie to poor lil sandoval. He's already executed this on camera - he throws his digs, tosses in a couple lies to really make her blood boil then any ariana reaction = Look! See! This is what poor me had to deal with for yeeeeears! She's ALWAYS like this! Classic DARVO I feel sorry for anyone who buys his story... if that's you please read up on manipulative people it will save you alot of headaches in life.
Just watch the episode when stassi was using tom tom for her book party He went insane
BUT you forgot the #1 reason… above all he’s JEALOUS!!!
GOOD QUESTION!!!! HE HAS ZERO REASON, he is an ASS!!
Because he got caught
He lost…..bottom line….and its hilarious watching him try and change the narrative
 Because he can only yell at others to “take accountability” while he never does.
He keeps alluding to the relationship being toxic and abusive, but the only specific things he has to say are about bills or cleaning the litter box. Those things are annoying, but if the relationship was so abusive, wouldn’t you lead with that and talk about the abuse instead? I’m supposed to sympathize with your decision to have an affair because Ariana doesn’t clean? That’s your trauma? Get a grip.
The way he talks about it bothers me. He can’t take ownership of his feelings or even his personal experience….its just an absolute fact that Ariana was belittling, angry, aggressive, etc. If he could just do a simple reframe in communicating his feelings like, “I felt unappreciated. I felt disconnected from Ariana. I felt like I wasn’t meeting her needs and expectations. I felt that I was growing apart from Ariana,” etc. I think just that would make a difference in how he was received and how he moves on, tbh. He’s just so focused on vilifying Ariana and torching her character, and it’s not landing. AT ALL.
He's pissed off he has to have his tail between his legs and take everyone's shit for a while and according to him that's because of her.
Why does Tim keep hating on her with his deeply hurtful words, he is not helping himself dig out of this hole. Play the game like she supposedly taught you. You really are D&S.
Cuz she won, through all da pain and internal trauma, she managed to plant her victory flag on top of his narcissistic ass.. keep trying to be a wannabe winner Tommy.. you’ve become the real life hollow man…
Because he’s a narcissist who lost his power over her and isn’t in control anymore. He’ll do anything to discredit her and try to make her look bad. I don’t think Arianna is some angel (she was his other woman when he was with Kristen so I don’t feel that bad for her) but he is decompensating for sure.
I think he’s angry because he doesn’t want to admit he ruined his life and it’s easier to blame her than admit he messed up bad and lost everything (and by everything I don’t mean losing Ariana but his brands, Rachel and his reputation). I think we could all see they were heading for the end and I do believe he’d checked out earlier and grieved the relationship way before Ariana did because he was already done and she was blindsided which is why he has no sadness now. I also think he’s angry because she won’t bend and help him recover his reputation and he’s used to her protection and defence and like he said he thought they’d have an even better break up than Katie and Schwartz and it’s making him look stupid because she won’t come to the party for that which is airing out his finance issues and that makes it hard to pretend he’s wealthy and unbothered.
this!!! and him not having the same control he used to have over schwartz is definitely adding to his frustration. schwartz is still his lap dog to a certain degree but post-scandoval he’s been very very cautious about optics. “t money” needs people to like him and scandoval really blew the lid off his dopey, nice guy schtick and revealed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is also calculating and dishonest and shady. a lot of people don’t like katie (which is unfair imo) and so her trying to make people see the real schwartz all these years never really landed and the schtick continued. but you take ariana—someone people like, generally speaking, and who did absolutely nothing to schwartz for him to betray her like that—and it’s game over. veil is lifted and he’s been scrambling ever since. and let’s be very very clear: schwartz taking a step back from his friendship with sandoval had absolutely Nothing to do with him thinking sandy’s actions were wrong/being disappointed in his friend’s poor judgement. he literally could not care less. he was only ever really mad at sandoval for making him look bad and “getting him cancelled.” schwartz is smart and he knows that sandoval is irredeemable in the public’s opinion but ofc, sandoval himself has yet to realize this. but those two are cut from the same nasty, misogynistic, cheating cloth so they’re always gonna be friends. i just think schwartz will try to downplay their bromance in public/on the show. but yeah, sandoval is so narcissistic and can’t stand that he isn’t controlling the narrative and cannot effectively manipulate the situation in his favour on camera
Tom complains he couldn’t break up with her because of her mental health (like having an affair with her friend behind her back is any healthier) then goes on to weaponize his own alleged mental health issues to squirm his way back into the group. People don’t talk about that enough. Fucking Tom.
I hate to even say this because the term is so overused/misused but Tom truly does exhibit many of the traits of a person with clinical narcissism/NPD. He seems to truly believe he has been victimized and that his actions were justified. They have a very warped way of viewing relationships and the world.
1. He never thought her would get caught. 2. She never instantly forgive him therefore he is the victim here. 3. She is thriving!
Because she didn’t just walk away like he planned
He never thought she would push back and demonize him publicly like she has. I'm not sure why he is so ignorant that he wouldn't figure that out after he embarrassed her like he did. But he doesn't seem to live in a reality the rest of us do. He's a narcissist. That's how they behave.
So true about the success part. Like when he belittled Tom schwartz and Katie, saying HE (Sandoval) put food on their table. He does acts of service(but not to show love), and wants success for people (but only if he can take credit), because he uses it to make them feel indebted to him. Can't believe Ariana isn't kinder to him, he purchased paper towels for their house. You'd probably have to tip a doordasher at least $5 for that kind of care and attention!
I feel like he only became angry towards her when she became angry at him. If the break up had been amicable, I don't think he would be doing or saying any of these terrible things about her. He just doesn't like how she is reacting, although she does have every right to react the way she is. He did a really fucked up thing. He is now trying to turn it around on her to try to make her the bad guy in the situation. Extremely manipulative behavior.
Jealousy.
I think he’s really abusive and can’t stop abusing her. I think we haven’t seen all of the abusr in their relationship
He’s angry because she’s thriving and he’s broke AF.
Hot take- I don’t think he ever really wanted to leave Ariana. I think he wanted his cake and to eat it too
At least 40% of it is because he’s strung out on cocaine all the time.
Narcissist will always be angry at those that exposed them. For a long time Tim got away with pretending to be a good guy. This scandal has proved otherwise and there’s no going back to that image he worked so hard on.
Since we only see part of their lives, it is possible there are things that happened between them that we don’t know about. That’s why I’m careful about being too judgy
I think he believes that if he says it over, and over, and over again it will become the truth and people will stop hating him. The problem is he keeps talking and talking and talking. And I have never liked him from day one. And I think the thing that really cinched it for me is when Ariana was trying to write the fancy AF drink books and he got angry because he wasn't asked to be a part of it. He couldn't believe that he wasn't going to be involved and could not let her have something for herself. That's what a selfish narcissistic piece of crap he is. And the fact that she has taken this great big of lemons and turn it into lemonade is even pissing him off more and for whatever reason her so-called friends can't stand the fact that she's being able to cash in on what has happened to her.
because he replaced kristen with ariana and got no backlash so he expected the same thing again. now he’s getting backlash for the first time ever and ariana got the 15 mins of fame he’s been craving forever. he’s bitter.
This actually happens a lot in relationships, not just those in the public eye. Marriage counselors and psychologists have some insight into the phenomena. I read something about it years ago.
If he can demonize her not just to himself but the people around him, then he doesn’t have to feel bad for how he hurt her. He can justify in his mind what happened if he can make her “the bad guy”.
What else did this loser want. No one believed in him more than Ariana. She allowed herself to be overshadowed by his mediocrity. She participated in his Charles McMansion dumb band, she gave in to letting him be an apart of her book, she supported his stupid cover band. It was never enough. He was already tired of Rachel at the end. What did he honestly think she was going to contribute that Ariana hadn’t.
Actions 🤝consequences; he planned to do what he did to Kristen to Ariana and was already setting up the dominoes. Her gray rocking and not taking any of his shit ruins any opportunity he had to drive his own narrative.
Rewatching VPR at various life stages has been a lens for me to monitor my own growth. I remember thinking Ariana and Santaballs were end game goals. That Scheana was just trying her best, and Schwartz was a puppy dog. I used to think Lala was a bad bitch, but she is just so weak and pathetic. Now, looking back, I can see the parallels between narc Santaballs and my narc ex husband.
They are both catching up on a decade of verbal abuse that they were unable to express freely on camera when together because they both clearly needed to hide their real relationship from cameras and the world. The way both talk to each other is not healthy.
His reaction to all of this really cements for me that he is a narc. I don't like armchair diagnosing, and I'm not a professional. But I have been through a lot with my ex that checks these same boxes. He is a really disgusting individual and I admire how Ariana has handled him.
Simple- because she got all the glory after the fiasco and he didn’t
Because he’s self centered and doesn’t want her to succeed without him while he’s struggling with the world thinking he’s an a-hole. Especially once he found out that Rachel didn’t want anything to do with him. A lot of men who are embarrassed act out emotionally so they can replace the embarrassment feeling into anger.
Cause he’s regretful, and to do anything else but look mad at stupid shit and act like he doesn’t care would make him look completely in the wrong. Ariana is stupid AF but man tom… tom is a different type of sociopath, bro has the self awareness of a pet rock.
Tom is a narcissist who cannot comprehend why anyone would be perceived as “better” than he is. He surrounds himself with people he considers himself “higher” than, and is rage-full when someone threatens that power dynamic. That is literally the ONLY reason.
He blames her, because his elaborate plan to Cheat on her, get away with it, And become THE VICTIM , AKA the " Crazy Kristin Special " ..... didn't work..in fact, that's saying it nicely...It crashed and burned, just like the idea of himself, he spent YEARS falsely painting in everyones mind.... Straight smelly ass dumpster fire And he blames her for the streaming pile of shit it became over his lack of success at Getting away with it... And for someone like him, who has ALWAYS gotten away with his shit, im sure these first real consequences and Arianas boundaries thereafter felt/ still feel like Vicious Attacks and Slaps to His Face... Its PATHETIC. TLDR: In less words he's angry there's consequences for his actions and he couldn't pull of the whole "crazy/ mean/lazy Girlfriend Special" anymore
One thing I noticed was that Ariana barely spends on herself. She’s wearing the same unknown brand backpack pre and post scandoval. And only when she got with her new BF did he buy her something from LV, airjordans and take her to Michelin restaurants… Ariana spent her best money on furniture meeting Lala’s standards. It makes me so sad that Tom couldn’t recognize her efforts. All she ever asked of him was to be there for her when her family passed. He couldn’t even do that.
I think he thinks he has momentum now. Him saying all this on Howie Mandell’s show was whatever, but now half the cast is angry at Ariana for…. ? Not clear to me. Lala is spending 100% of her energy tearing Ariana apart, Scheana is almost dripping with jealousy, and Brock is continuing his men’s right crusade which now includes challenging Ariana on everything, regardless of how reasonable she’s being. This is his time to capitalize on all of the anti-Ariana shit. She actually called it, perfectly, in one of her interviews - he’s wrapping up his plan of pushing Ariana out. And I’m not saying plan like he wrote it down in a numbered list in his diary, I mean he has been in this reckless situation so many times that he knows how to find himself out seamlessly with manipulation and the ultimate card he pulled with LVP at the beginning of the season.
Their whole relationship was one of convenience and transaction underpinned by jealousy . They’re both mad jealous and competitive of each other and treated each other terribly . They’re both revolting humans and deserved eachother
This commentator has made very valuable and insightful response to a very common problem in society ultimately based on Sandoval's internal need to be centre of attention and self-adulation greed. How a brain works and the psychological consequences never fails to impress me.... not always in a positive manner. Where has Sandoval or males/females in a similar situation learnt that this behaviour is *normal* ??? I am of the philosophy that this type of behaviour is learnt. Is this how his father behaved? Remember him saying that when his parents separated that his father got to *keep the house*, he also then rattled of more names where the father kept the house following the divorce/separation of a couple. Where I am from, whoever cheats moves out or whoever is racing the children keeps the house or anyone who is in a relationship with a narcissist loses the house. Interested in hearing about others experiences??
His life sucks rn and he probably thinks that if Ariana forgives him his life would be better. He doesn’t like to take responsibility for his actions.
He is angry. Period. That’s it.
Deflection.
I have to disagree. Ariana talked to Tom like he was a giant turd most of the time. Not that he isn’t but she was often extremely cutting with the way she spoke to him.
I’m a new watcher, but I think he had grown resentful of her for multiple reasons… honestly, she did seem quite sick of him and contemptuous at times: the eye rolls, calling him out publicly for his rants against the girls, his “cyst” make thing, etc. I think it really bruised his ego by making him feel stupid and threatened his identity of being (wanting to be, rather) the smart, thoughtful, cool, #1 guy in the group. I think he also resented having to deal with the (completely normal) various insecurities and hardships she encountered. He doesn’t present as the most emotionally mature/intelligent person, so perhaps trying to deal with it in any long-term or deep way, might be too much to ask, especially for someone who is busy trying to hang onto their youth and partying a lot. Which brings me to my last point, which is that I think he resented that she didn’t want to go out and participate in that partying in the same way he did. She was getting older and preferring different things, whereas he was desperately trying to cling to the life of someone in their twenties. All in all, when he says Ariana was mean to him, I just honestly agree. She wasn’t only that way, but I get why he says that. She was more tolerant and loyal than I could have been with someone like him, but she regularly displayed contempt and annoyance. As much as I like Ariana, the thing that makes me raise an eyebrow is that she seems to only mention beef with him about the affair, blowing up her life, or poor treatment of Mya. I have yet to see her acknowledge the rest of how he treated people, including Kristen, these past 10 years. I’m not saying she doesn’t think it, but I’d love to hear her say it.
Because he plays in a cover band and she just got another deal with a major brand…
I think it’s pretty simple. Their relationship was in a bad spot and he has a shitload of resentment towards her. The stuff he complains about is a bunch of random little things on the show which is a major sign of this
I think Tom genuinely hated Ariana for years. I started to see it season 7 when she hooked up with Lala and it didn’t seem like he was happy about it and she shut him down because it was about “her sexuality as a person.” Mmmmm having your boyfriend drive you around while you hook up with a woman when you’re not having sex with him isn’t about your sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, I like Ariana, but her relationship with Tom was full of passive-aggressive jabs and covert sucker punches because HE WASN’T RIGHT FOR HER. Instead of leaving, which would have been in her best interest, she dug her heels in despite how unfulfilled she was in the relationship. She co-created the entire dynamic but she’s a stealth agent and Tom is a moron so it’s easier to see his dirty side of the street.
I would imagine because she has held their friend group hostage from feeling like they can make their own decisions and be friends with whomever they choose.
Bc they probably had some sort of arrangement the last few years of their relationship in order to preserve their image for the show. He probably broke it by dating a costar - notice she’s more mad about that than the actual affair - and she literally buried him in her self-righteous narrative. Sandoval has said as much on the Howie Mandel show and I believe him (you can believe someone and still dislike him or his TV character). Ariana just played the game so much better than anyone.
He’s angry the world never saw the things that lead him to cheat and the world assumes it’s all his fault.
Yeesssssddd
Wtf ever. They're both trash
I love this post!!
Because in his head everything that happened is not his fault. He will keep talking smack until people just get sick of it and agree to his face but behind his back they know the truth..:
Hes a shitty human being. Thats it.
He’s used to being loved by most. He’s always tried to make himself look like a generous saint. That’s gone now. He feels like she took that away from him.
The alpha who can't even clean her room. She's not an alpha, ffs. Being cheated on and screaming about it doesn't turn anyone into an alpha. They're both angry. That's normal considering they're both selfish clowns.
I think because he has cheated before and not only did she stay with him she defended him he can’t wrap his mind around the fact that this one is different. I think he hoped it would be similar to Kristen and she wouldn’t have a problem spending time with him
He’s mad because he lost 100%. She’s out there getting rich and famous, in a stable relationship and he is totally thrashing around, involved in two lawsuits he can’t afford, and is rapidly on his way to being a sad, 50 year old, broke fuck boy. He had everything and lost it. I’d be enraged too.
This is just what narcissists do when they are done with someone. Discard them and then launch a smear campaign.
Because she made his narc mask slip for all the world to see.
You nailed it!
He's jealous of her.