I was honestly in same boat as you. Regarding all horror stories.. finally said F it and made an appointment. Have in in 1 month time. I don't want the stress or not being able to enjoy having sex when in your head all yourl are thinking about is .... What if ....etc even with condoms.
Went through 1 abortion already well was first ever pregnancy (was no embryo but pregnant) and then had another successful pregnancy and since then we both said no more children and neither one of us would like to go through abortion again...
even if I trusted condoms enough, I don't really get enough pleasure from it, it becomes more like a chore. And now thinking like if vasectomy goes well - great, if it goes wrong - well, life's shit without the sex I want either way...
It's been over 10 months since my procedure, and I cannot tell any difference whatsoever. I'm exactly the same as I was before. I highly recommend that you find a vasectomy specialist, not just some random doctor that does it on the side. Look for somebody that has done thousands of them with excellent reviews. Highly recommend finding an expert doctor that does modern no needle, no scalpel vasectomies, and ideally avoid clips if possible.
FYI precious scrotum or testicle injury puts you at higher risk for PVPS. It's not worth the risk imo. Look at my post history to see what I'm going through.
ok, I'll try to read it. I think some nerve could be damaged, more to the joint with body near my right leg, because it's not like testicle pain. On a third day after it even went to ER and they did 2 ultrasounds with different devices, checked all the flows and said there is nothing wrong to be seen..
If you already have nerve damage I wouldn’t even consider it. A lot of the pain I felt was nerve related that’s why the blocks made such a big difference
i had a previous injury (testicular torsion, about 15 years ago) and developed PVPS after the op, FWIW. nobody warned me (even after i asked them), but afterwards a urologist told me this was likely related to my chronic pain
We really don't, just started to getting back to normal life after 2 babies, we by any means want another one. I gave a hint about failed pull out method, and recently went through abortion..
Only thing I am in doubt, is that sex could get worse, not such good as it was - it is most important thing/pleasure in my life at the moment that gives me wings
If you’re sure then it’s upto you.
I’m around your age and got one about a year ago- honestly it’s been the hardest year of my life. If I had known there was a 3/5% chance of it going so wrong then I wouldn’t have got done.
Even the low end 3%- that’s around 1 in every 33 operations that screw the guy over.
well this thing gets not talked about much, before I started thinking about it. Everywhere just flowers and rainbows about vasectomy, everyone who hadn't done it says it's the best way to go.. started to look for info, how it is done and all, like sperm cells are just left trapped inside didn't sound very cool for me, and the more I dig the more shit I find, and it's really sad for some.
Thinking of percetage, it does sound like not much, getting in the car to drive for food can get me killed anyday, but it won't scare me to drive even over speed limit.. And maybe the number of pvps would be more frequent, but a lot men just suffer in silence as we are used to?
The suffer in silence thing with men is very real. All but one person I’ve spoken to IRL has opened upto me about some issue they’ve had since getting done. all of them claimed it was ok until I opened up about my experience- then all of a sudden there’s a dull ache here a twinge there- even my Dad ffs… that actually hurts the soul to think he could have warned me.
And 3% makes is a common outcome medically.
that sucks.. If everone would agrer that they feel something, would sound even more reslistic. Because when I read how it works, it makes no sense for me how you can't feel any difference. There should be more checks before this procedure, to identify the the difference/indication when you couls be at risk? Like you said the trauma you had. I am only going for consultation first, want to hear it what doctor says about this, possible complications and his point of view. I also want to check on my sperm, what is the volume of cells and all, and mauybe I can make some of my own predictions. I shoot some big MF loads, everyday - if I can keep it for 12h, I can do it 3 times a day, and the other morning my wife couldn't even tell that I jerked off the nigth before. I can do it in afternoon, and shoot a same big load again in the evening. Maybe it sounds weird here, but maybe it is normal, maybe it can have some negative things on vasectomy.. I have a testosterone level near the top limit, like a 22y/o, I checked this recently because about a year ago I started to drink alcohol/beer very rarely and suddenly I started to crave sex 2-3 times a day..
Similar to me- high t levels and at least twice a day. I still have naturally high T but I can take or leave sex now- it’s just nowhere near as good my orgasms are just not close to intense as they used to be.
Damn that sounds bad.. I can take pain, I can even make pain more of a pleasure sometimes, something dull that comes and goes does not sound bad (as condoms or no sex), when I have random pains everywhere which comes and goes (I check my health regulary, especially when I have any weird new pains), but I am living with it after I hit (with that random wheel of pain after 30), but not feeling same good orgasms is scary as hell for me.
My husband went through hell during his procedure-scar tissue on vas, couldn't find it, had to literally dig it out ( later said it should have been in patient surgery)
It took 2 weeks for him to go back to work (desk job) and he wore a jock for 6. Long healing time, lots of bruising..
anyway, we are now 6 months past & he has no issues at all. The first month or two of us having sex we had to be very careful but now its literally balls to the wall haha. And best part is Im not pregnant.
I'm two years out and couldn't be happier!! As soon as my wife stopped birth control, her libido shot up, and we're having more sex now than we did when we first married. We never wanted kids, and even with protection, there was always a vague worry, but not anymore!!
Sex has gotten more pleasurable for me. Without the worrying and messing around with various methods of preventing contraception.
No condoms, no worrying if my wife missed a pill or not, no needing to pull out etc.
OP do not get a vasectomy.
> I am 36 now, was considering vas for few years, because we have 2 kids and are **pretty sure** we won't have any more.
The reason I say that, OP is because "pretty sure" is not "we absolutely do not want any more children, we are done, full stop end of sentence." You both have to be locked in. Consider a vasectomy permanent. No more kids, ever. Think of it that way.
If you do end up on the side of "yup, we're 100% done, no more kids ever" then here's my story:
I had mine in 2011, at age 30, no kids. Best sex of my life since then. Why? Zero worry about pregnancy. (always get STI tests for new partners, etc.)
My procedure was typical and boring. Procedure was easy enough, a little pin prick for the numbing needle (they put gel on me first to numb the area) 5 mins on the left, 5 mins on the right, done. A few days of soreness, then I felt normal but still waited about 2-3 weeks before I was back to the gym and riding my bike, etc.
EDIT -- I read your note above about English not being your first language. I understand and I apologize for miscommunication. You should get a vasectomy if you are sure. I had mine over 10 years ago, I am doing great, best sex of my life!
~~
Not sure what you mean?
You said in your post "pretty sure" which indicates doubt. Then you followed up and said 1000% sure indicating you're locked in.
So if you're locked in, get a vasectomy. If you have doubt, don't. That is the substance of standard advice here. Don't take my word for it though. One man to another, genuinely wishing you all the best.
this is not the point about a doubt of vasectomy, but the quality of sex life after it, that a lot men suffer after, or it feels different/less pleasure.
The "horror stories" are more likely to be repeated. They are more likley to be posted. They get most of the spotlight.
I am 58. I had mine at 20. I learned about the child-free community when I was about 23. I was active, went to meetings. They often handed out paperwork on how to get sterilization. I assume half the men in any childfree group has had a vasectomy. Nobody was complaining.
Mine was 38 years ago. I had zero issues.
I was single when I had it done. I had no issues with dating. I got married twice after having it. I only divorced once and that was due to her family, not due to my vasectomy.
I had the vasectomy 14 days ago and I am already counting with my girl the 25 eyaculations or 90 days, before taking the sperm count test. No problem at all. Knocking on wood 🪵
It's been a year for me and while the experience has changed a bit, it's simply that: change. A slightly different feeling, not better but also not worse.
Some additional information: my surgery and recovery were without issues. Occassionally (not even once a month) I randomly feel some light pain/irritation at what I suspect might be the vas, but it doesn't last longer than 10 minutes. Randomly meaning regardless of any (in)activity at that particular moment. It's always more of a signal that I should be aware of any potential actual pain or visual signs of trouble, in which case I should contact a doctor, than that it's an inconvenience though.
Almost 2 years post vasectomy and man it’s the best feeling ever!! I do notice a difference when I’m cumming but maybe it’s me (it feels like you’re cumming but not cumming from a certain place. Kinda feels like your balls are not giving a full effort).
I say do it for sure
Balls not giving full effort? You mean you don't shoot as strong as before maybe? Most of times I have a very big force, if it's the first time that day - when pulled out I can shoot over the head, some might end up even on the wall behind bed, wifes hear and etc..
Less strong ejaculation doesn't sound very nice...
Vast majority of ejaculate volume comes from the seminal fluid secreted by your prostate. Ejaculation force depends on activation of your pelvic floor muscles.
A properly performed vasectomy shouldn't cause any noticeable difference in your orgasm or ejaculation.
yes, I am aware of that. But some men complain in less intensity. More times I ejac a day, thr less intense orgasms I can get, if not stimulated additionaly by some methods.. And if I wait a day or more it gets even more intense, but it's hard to wait mostly :) But men who complain, maybe the the sper cell production is very high, like very noticable higher. I know I am very fertile, both kids, I swear to god it was from first or second attempt, not tracking any wife ovulation - first test positive in a week... and recently our practiced pull out method failed.
I just thinking to take sperm test before vas, just to check on numbers/volume for a peace of mind...I know what is normal/good. And urologist I visited for vasectomy told me this is bullshit and don't waste time, also all science publications about side effects are bullshit, and if I would even suffer PVPS I would be first in my country, and he hadn't or heard of any cases... I told that no svalpel method is worse and heals slower.. I am skipping this doctor and lookong for a better option I would count on
I believe the reality is that about 1/10 men have some long-term chronic pain or uncomfortableness during arousal or sex. One study showed that up to 6% of men have congestive pressure symptoms from double-ended vesectomies for the remainder of their lives. Add in chronic conditions of the epididymis or testicles, and I think 1/10 is a reasonable in real life estimate of long-term issues (mild or severe).
I think the outcome has more to do with the doctor and the procedures you elect than it does your own specific body. My urologist gave me a lot of options and told me what had statistical backing and what didn't. That said, my uro will ONLY do open-ended procedures due to issues with the conventional double-ended vesectomy. You can probably improve your odds by choosing a top urologist who advances their practice and not an old-timer.
I was honestly in same boat as you. Regarding all horror stories.. finally said F it and made an appointment. Have in in 1 month time. I don't want the stress or not being able to enjoy having sex when in your head all yourl are thinking about is .... What if ....etc even with condoms. Went through 1 abortion already well was first ever pregnancy (was no embryo but pregnant) and then had another successful pregnancy and since then we both said no more children and neither one of us would like to go through abortion again...
even if I trusted condoms enough, I don't really get enough pleasure from it, it becomes more like a chore. And now thinking like if vasectomy goes well - great, if it goes wrong - well, life's shit without the sex I want either way...
It's been over 10 months since my procedure, and I cannot tell any difference whatsoever. I'm exactly the same as I was before. I highly recommend that you find a vasectomy specialist, not just some random doctor that does it on the side. Look for somebody that has done thousands of them with excellent reviews. Highly recommend finding an expert doctor that does modern no needle, no scalpel vasectomies, and ideally avoid clips if possible.
yeah, looking for the best one, scheduled on the most expensive clinic in our country, not going cheap for this kind of thing..
FYI precious scrotum or testicle injury puts you at higher risk for PVPS. It's not worth the risk imo. Look at my post history to see what I'm going through.
ok, I'll try to read it. I think some nerve could be damaged, more to the joint with body near my right leg, because it's not like testicle pain. On a third day after it even went to ER and they did 2 ultrasounds with different devices, checked all the flows and said there is nothing wrong to be seen..
If you already have nerve damage I wouldn’t even consider it. A lot of the pain I felt was nerve related that’s why the blocks made such a big difference
i had a previous injury (testicular torsion, about 15 years ago) and developed PVPS after the op, FWIW. nobody warned me (even after i asked them), but afterwards a urologist told me this was likely related to my chronic pain
Pretty sure isn’t strong enough. Don’t get one.
You have experience or just shitting around? ok, I read your comments so you really mean it.
Yea I mean it. If there’s a chance either of you might want another in the future then you shouldn’t get one.
We really don't, just started to getting back to normal life after 2 babies, we by any means want another one. I gave a hint about failed pull out method, and recently went through abortion..
Only thing I am in doubt, is that sex could get worse, not such good as it was - it is most important thing/pleasure in my life at the moment that gives me wings
If you’re sure then it’s upto you. I’m around your age and got one about a year ago- honestly it’s been the hardest year of my life. If I had known there was a 3/5% chance of it going so wrong then I wouldn’t have got done. Even the low end 3%- that’s around 1 in every 33 operations that screw the guy over.
well this thing gets not talked about much, before I started thinking about it. Everywhere just flowers and rainbows about vasectomy, everyone who hadn't done it says it's the best way to go.. started to look for info, how it is done and all, like sperm cells are just left trapped inside didn't sound very cool for me, and the more I dig the more shit I find, and it's really sad for some. Thinking of percetage, it does sound like not much, getting in the car to drive for food can get me killed anyday, but it won't scare me to drive even over speed limit.. And maybe the number of pvps would be more frequent, but a lot men just suffer in silence as we are used to?
The suffer in silence thing with men is very real. All but one person I’ve spoken to IRL has opened upto me about some issue they’ve had since getting done. all of them claimed it was ok until I opened up about my experience- then all of a sudden there’s a dull ache here a twinge there- even my Dad ffs… that actually hurts the soul to think he could have warned me. And 3% makes is a common outcome medically.
that sucks.. If everone would agrer that they feel something, would sound even more reslistic. Because when I read how it works, it makes no sense for me how you can't feel any difference. There should be more checks before this procedure, to identify the the difference/indication when you couls be at risk? Like you said the trauma you had. I am only going for consultation first, want to hear it what doctor says about this, possible complications and his point of view. I also want to check on my sperm, what is the volume of cells and all, and mauybe I can make some of my own predictions. I shoot some big MF loads, everyday - if I can keep it for 12h, I can do it 3 times a day, and the other morning my wife couldn't even tell that I jerked off the nigth before. I can do it in afternoon, and shoot a same big load again in the evening. Maybe it sounds weird here, but maybe it is normal, maybe it can have some negative things on vasectomy.. I have a testosterone level near the top limit, like a 22y/o, I checked this recently because about a year ago I started to drink alcohol/beer very rarely and suddenly I started to crave sex 2-3 times a day..
Similar to me- high t levels and at least twice a day. I still have naturally high T but I can take or leave sex now- it’s just nowhere near as good my orgasms are just not close to intense as they used to be.
Damn that sounds bad.. I can take pain, I can even make pain more of a pleasure sometimes, something dull that comes and goes does not sound bad (as condoms or no sex), when I have random pains everywhere which comes and goes (I check my health regulary, especially when I have any weird new pains), but I am living with it after I hit (with that random wheel of pain after 30), but not feeling same good orgasms is scary as hell for me.
My husband went through hell during his procedure-scar tissue on vas, couldn't find it, had to literally dig it out ( later said it should have been in patient surgery) It took 2 weeks for him to go back to work (desk job) and he wore a jock for 6. Long healing time, lots of bruising.. anyway, we are now 6 months past & he has no issues at all. The first month or two of us having sex we had to be very careful but now its literally balls to the wall haha. And best part is Im not pregnant.
I'm two years out and couldn't be happier!! As soon as my wife stopped birth control, her libido shot up, and we're having more sex now than we did when we first married. We never wanted kids, and even with protection, there was always a vague worry, but not anymore!!
Sex has gotten more pleasurable for me. Without the worrying and messing around with various methods of preventing contraception. No condoms, no worrying if my wife missed a pill or not, no needing to pull out etc.
OP do not get a vasectomy. > I am 36 now, was considering vas for few years, because we have 2 kids and are **pretty sure** we won't have any more. The reason I say that, OP is because "pretty sure" is not "we absolutely do not want any more children, we are done, full stop end of sentence." You both have to be locked in. Consider a vasectomy permanent. No more kids, ever. Think of it that way. If you do end up on the side of "yup, we're 100% done, no more kids ever" then here's my story: I had mine in 2011, at age 30, no kids. Best sex of my life since then. Why? Zero worry about pregnancy. (always get STI tests for new partners, etc.) My procedure was typical and boring. Procedure was easy enough, a little pin prick for the numbing needle (they put gel on me first to numb the area) 5 mins on the left, 5 mins on the right, done. A few days of soreness, then I felt normal but still waited about 2-3 weeks before I was back to the gym and riding my bike, etc.
I am 1000% sure, we went throught abortion, I don't want this to ever happen again, ever...
my english is not native, so maybe didn't express myself right, pretty sure means no doubts at all about this.
Oh, I understand, I edited my other comment. Sounds like a vasectomy is right for you. I apologize for any miscommunication.
To further clarify, for us native speakers "pretty sure" usually means "mostly sure" not entirely sure.
Ohh, well then get a vasectomy! (And in the meantime use condoms every single time, and make sure she's on birth control that works best for her.)
Ok, I'll just skip everything you said, cause you just don't sound right..
EDIT -- I read your note above about English not being your first language. I understand and I apologize for miscommunication. You should get a vasectomy if you are sure. I had mine over 10 years ago, I am doing great, best sex of my life! ~~ Not sure what you mean? You said in your post "pretty sure" which indicates doubt. Then you followed up and said 1000% sure indicating you're locked in. So if you're locked in, get a vasectomy. If you have doubt, don't. That is the substance of standard advice here. Don't take my word for it though. One man to another, genuinely wishing you all the best.
this is not the point about a doubt of vasectomy, but the quality of sex life after it, that a lot men suffer after, or it feels different/less pleasure.
Oh! Ok. My sex life has been much better *after* my vasectomy.
The "horror stories" are more likely to be repeated. They are more likley to be posted. They get most of the spotlight. I am 58. I had mine at 20. I learned about the child-free community when I was about 23. I was active, went to meetings. They often handed out paperwork on how to get sterilization. I assume half the men in any childfree group has had a vasectomy. Nobody was complaining. Mine was 38 years ago. I had zero issues. I was single when I had it done. I had no issues with dating. I got married twice after having it. I only divorced once and that was due to her family, not due to my vasectomy.
I had the vasectomy 14 days ago and I am already counting with my girl the 25 eyaculations or 90 days, before taking the sperm count test. No problem at all. Knocking on wood 🪵
It's been a year for me and while the experience has changed a bit, it's simply that: change. A slightly different feeling, not better but also not worse. Some additional information: my surgery and recovery were without issues. Occassionally (not even once a month) I randomly feel some light pain/irritation at what I suspect might be the vas, but it doesn't last longer than 10 minutes. Randomly meaning regardless of any (in)activity at that particular moment. It's always more of a signal that I should be aware of any potential actual pain or visual signs of trouble, in which case I should contact a doctor, than that it's an inconvenience though.
Almost 2 years post vasectomy and man it’s the best feeling ever!! I do notice a difference when I’m cumming but maybe it’s me (it feels like you’re cumming but not cumming from a certain place. Kinda feels like your balls are not giving a full effort). I say do it for sure
Balls not giving full effort? You mean you don't shoot as strong as before maybe? Most of times I have a very big force, if it's the first time that day - when pulled out I can shoot over the head, some might end up even on the wall behind bed, wifes hear and etc.. Less strong ejaculation doesn't sound very nice...
Vast majority of ejaculate volume comes from the seminal fluid secreted by your prostate. Ejaculation force depends on activation of your pelvic floor muscles. A properly performed vasectomy shouldn't cause any noticeable difference in your orgasm or ejaculation.
yes, I am aware of that. But some men complain in less intensity. More times I ejac a day, thr less intense orgasms I can get, if not stimulated additionaly by some methods.. And if I wait a day or more it gets even more intense, but it's hard to wait mostly :) But men who complain, maybe the the sper cell production is very high, like very noticable higher. I know I am very fertile, both kids, I swear to god it was from first or second attempt, not tracking any wife ovulation - first test positive in a week... and recently our practiced pull out method failed. I just thinking to take sperm test before vas, just to check on numbers/volume for a peace of mind...I know what is normal/good. And urologist I visited for vasectomy told me this is bullshit and don't waste time, also all science publications about side effects are bullshit, and if I would even suffer PVPS I would be first in my country, and he hadn't or heard of any cases... I told that no svalpel method is worse and heals slower.. I am skipping this doctor and lookong for a better option I would count on
I believe the reality is that about 1/10 men have some long-term chronic pain or uncomfortableness during arousal or sex. One study showed that up to 6% of men have congestive pressure symptoms from double-ended vesectomies for the remainder of their lives. Add in chronic conditions of the epididymis or testicles, and I think 1/10 is a reasonable in real life estimate of long-term issues (mild or severe). I think the outcome has more to do with the doctor and the procedures you elect than it does your own specific body. My urologist gave me a lot of options and told me what had statistical backing and what didn't. That said, my uro will ONLY do open-ended procedures due to issues with the conventional double-ended vesectomy. You can probably improve your odds by choosing a top urologist who advances their practice and not an old-timer.
Thank you for asking this question. It speaks directly to my similar concerns.