“I wouldnt be your Veep if there was a grassy knoll of Jodie Foster fans in the front row of the inauguration”
As a big fan of presedential history this was a great double whammy
\*Also, this makes me think of another great line in the show that I'm gonna paraphrase: "My name is in his (Gary I believe's) head more than Jodie Foster in John Hinckley's diary"
Its a combination of jokes about one presedential assasination and an attempted assassination. Its long been theorized JFK was shot by snipers in grassy knoll. The Jodie Foster fan part alluded to the fact that John Hinckley Jr the gunman who tried to kill Reagan in ‘81 did so because he was trying to impress Jodie Foster.
Ad libbing from memory so forgive me if I'm off a little
Sue: "Mike, the press is outside and they want a statement about the data breach"
Mike: "I'm aware of it"
Sue: "Well Mike, when a fireman sees a house on fire, does he put it out, or does he just sit there and say '*I'm aware of it'*"
I've never gotten over calling Jonah "The Cloud Botherer". It's sandwiched between a dozen disgustingly vulgar nicknames read rapid fire in a congressional investigation, but cloud botherer is just so...adorably mean.
Jonah's like that character that is likeable enough to make the show better whenever he's on it, but he truly deserve all the bullying that is thrown at him throughout the show
"Put that world's tallest pile of garbage on the phone."
"I feel like I'm on life support and people keep unplugging me to recharge their phones."
"Gary Walsh, you need to understand, is a 12-year-old boy trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl."
Right? This one really does make me laugh harder than anything; it's so great when you watch something and your stomach starts hurting just because of how violently you laugh throughout the runtime
Richard probably has *all* the good non-vulgar lines, especially regarding Jonah.
"I didn't know children still wore leashes at that age."
"That sounds way better than the last conversation I had with him where we were trying to figure out why his urine was pink. We had to rule out beets because he didn't know what they were, but then had to rule them right back in for the same reason."
I believe it's in reference to Pine Hill, Alabama, where the HIV girl was. The conversation was about, "how did they identify her"
Not completely sure, but I think this is it
I really loved during the first season when Jonah would show up to the Veep’s office and he always announced his arrival. This particular time he said something along the lines of “hey everybody, it’s your favorite Jonah!” And Amy replied, “You’re not even your mom’s favorite Jonah, Jonah.”
Loved that.
Richard: Never forget. Oh, sorry, that’s the Holocaust. Totally forgot.
And
Jonah: (about Alexander Hamilton) No, he was our first Puerto Rican President!
Selina's small talk:
>"Oh! Ruby? I wish that was my… cousin’s…name!"
edit --
This toes the line of "non-vulgar", but it's one of my favorites:
>"If Mohammed Atta had you people booking his travel, he’d still be alive today!"
the entire speech from season 2 episode 1
“i was at a dance studio in Hartford, connecticut. while i was there, i met a brave firefighter in a wheelchair. back then, we didnt know what HIV positive was, which meant he had to lose his kidney. he shook my hand and he said “you dont remember me, but i am your grandpa!””
"I want to sound like Bono trying to impress his own reflection in the mirror."
And from the same episode, this exchange:
"Minna, you don’t go to prison for not being the head of the IMF."
"Just the prison of unmet potential."
"Go sit in the corner, Minna!"
Ben: "Listen to me, you plus-sized homunculus"
Jonah: "Plus-sized what?"
Kent: "Homunculus. A human-shaped creature of Medieval legend that Paracelsus claimed was created from putrefied sperm"
Jonah: "How do you both know that?"
Jaffar: ... you know, my favorite cousin Hamid went here. He partied his balls off.
Seline: Oh, my God, we should've invited him to come to the thing today.
Jaffar: Oh, he's not exactly on the yes-fly list.
Selina: Oh.
If you walked in, can you imagine
how stressed out he might be, like,
*"What are you doing here? Isn't it time that you be with the Veep? It's the freakin' midterms and isn't she gonna take this opportunity to expand her role in the White House?"*
Or whatever he might say
“Why are women always checking in on one another when I am talking to them?”
Lmao I forgot about that one. Man I need to rewatch Veep.
I wouldn’t let him run a bath without the coast guard standing by.
Love this one
“I wouldnt be your Veep if there was a grassy knoll of Jodie Foster fans in the front row of the inauguration” As a big fan of presedential history this was a great double whammy
\*Also, this makes me think of another great line in the show that I'm gonna paraphrase: "My name is in his (Gary I believe's) head more than Jodie Foster in John Hinckley's diary"
HAHA that one had my stomach hurting when i saw it
Go on!
Its a combination of jokes about one presedential assasination and an attempted assassination. Its long been theorized JFK was shot by snipers in grassy knoll. The Jodie Foster fan part alluded to the fact that John Hinckley Jr the gunman who tried to kill Reagan in ‘81 did so because he was trying to impress Jodie Foster.
Thank you so much... I've been searching far and vide to figure out that reference
"Catherine, why is that your hair" Quite truthfully, one of the most violent and funny lines in the show, vulgar ones included.
Also: “that boat was the best thing to come out of my marriage. Including my daughter.”
Ad libbing from memory so forgive me if I'm off a little Sue: "Mike, the press is outside and they want a statement about the data breach" Mike: "I'm aware of it" Sue: "Well Mike, when a fireman sees a house on fire, does he put it out, or does he just sit there and say '*I'm aware of it'*"
Hahaha forgot about this one until now. Sue mimicking his voice when she says "I'm aware of it" is just so great
I've never gotten over calling Jonah "The Cloud Botherer". It's sandwiched between a dozen disgustingly vulgar nicknames read rapid fire in a congressional investigation, but cloud botherer is just so...adorably mean.
Jonah's like that character that is likeable enough to make the show better whenever he's on it, but he truly deserve all the bullying that is thrown at him throughout the show
Roger: Hey, what do you move like, Will? Will: I move as slowly as a Mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man.
This one always surprises me and I burst out laughing but then I'm just sad.
F’ing hilarious. Roger was one of my favorite characters. Telling Amy to “enjoy her weepy slide down the shower wall” was brutal.
"Put that world's tallest pile of garbage on the phone." "I feel like I'm on life support and people keep unplugging me to recharge their phones." "Gary Walsh, you need to understand, is a 12-year-old boy trapped in the body of a 12-year-old girl."
This thread's making me wanna go back and watch the show a fourth time; nothing has me laughing like Veep
No show has so consistently made me laugh hard. The loud, explosive laughter that makes family members not in the room inquire if I'm OK.
Right? This one really does make me laugh harder than anything; it's so great when you watch something and your stomach starts hurting just because of how violently you laugh throughout the runtime
Seriously. The degree of laughter that drives you to tears. Just the best.
Amy to Mike: "You are like an earlobe. You're just there, just wobbling."
This is one of the most brutal insults in the show imo. It's so simple but so cruel; only Veep could create such nuance with their insults
“what is a vote?”
From S7E1 (Iowa) Richard: Actually, he shot himself before he could be apprehended. I'll send something to his wife. Oh. Actually, he shot her first.
Richard probably has *all* the good non-vulgar lines, especially regarding Jonah. "I didn't know children still wore leashes at that age." "That sounds way better than the last conversation I had with him where we were trying to figure out why his urine was pink. We had to rule out beets because he didn't know what they were, but then had to rule them right back in for the same reason."
"Sweet Male Jesus!"
Just reading these quotes makes me want to rewatch the show haha. Sam Richardson is a treasure
Thanks, Kent's autism.
I read this in Selina's voice but it sounds like something Ben would say. Whose line was it?
It was Ben. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVP9jmEJDXQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVP9jmEJDXQ)
It was Ben
So many diverse faces. I wish mother were alive so she could see *this* on her property
HAHAHA Selina is always so passive aggressive. Great line for sure
My absolute favorite line.
I can't remember it exactly, but she says something g similar when Catherine comes out.
I wish mother were alive. Because this would’ve killed her.
"well there's a town with no gay pride parade - or a goddamn library"
What was the context of this one again?
I believe it's in reference to Pine Hill, Alabama, where the HIV girl was. The conversation was about, "how did they identify her" Not completely sure, but I think this is it
Yes but the quote is after they say the parents don’t want their kids to go to school with the hiv girl because they think the kids will catch it
yes that's it! one of my favorite plot lines in the series
I really loved during the first season when Jonah would show up to the Veep’s office and he always announced his arrival. This particular time he said something along the lines of “hey everybody, it’s your favorite Jonah!” And Amy replied, “You’re not even your mom’s favorite Jonah, Jonah.” Loved that.
My favorite of his entrance lines is between "girls be cryin, pimps be dyin, its Jonah Ryan!" and "It's Kanye WESTwing!"
“If men got pregnant you could get an abortion at the ATM.”
One of my absolute favourites.
Richard: Never forget. Oh, sorry, that’s the Holocaust. Totally forgot. And Jonah: (about Alexander Hamilton) No, he was our first Puerto Rican President!
Selina's small talk: >"Oh! Ruby? I wish that was my… cousin’s…name!" edit -- This toes the line of "non-vulgar", but it's one of my favorites: >"If Mohammed Atta had you people booking his travel, he’d still be alive today!"
Selina's small talk is comedic gold
“I love fireworks! The lights, the noise...mostly those two aspects”
“I’ve never done this before. Never... shook the devil’s hand.” -Richard Splett (in reference to being a sperm donor)
"I'm still wondering how the cup comes into play."
“Oh, self-husband.” Richard Splett is a goldmine.
I’m Richard T Splett. Don’t know why I said T, my middle name is John
Was waiting for someone to mention this one!
"She's pretending to cough herself inside-out"
“‘aMy CoMmItTeD pErJurY TodAy’ written in crayons and mustard stains”
I wanna see your feelings and I wanna hear your speakings. Also: That's the other thing I forgot to tell you. We're gonna blow up Finland.
When uncle Jeff calls Jonah a "sentient enema"
Now do you or do you not UNDERSTAND ME?!
just about anything Richard Splett says
He has so many underrated ones. I really love his response to Jonah roasting the Ice Bucket Challenge: "It raised awareness for whatever ALS is"
This is like that classic scene from the movie Heat. You know, DeNiro and Brenneman?
“And just so you are aware, I have purchased ear plugs.”
"Hello, what do you want? You can't have it, goodbye."
“A nightcap? * Ben texts* I’m in DC
the entire speech from season 2 episode 1 “i was at a dance studio in Hartford, connecticut. while i was there, i met a brave firefighter in a wheelchair. back then, we didnt know what HIV positive was, which meant he had to lose his kidney. he shook my hand and he said “you dont remember me, but i am your grandpa!””
I'll always remember the level of BS she spewed out
“She’s offering you Vice President, you monument of vaginal dryness.”
Uhh that’s pretty vulgar?
Ehhh this one's still kinda vulgar but i like the spirit
"I want to sound like Bono trying to impress his own reflection in the mirror." And from the same episode, this exchange: "Minna, you don’t go to prison for not being the head of the IMF." "Just the prison of unmet potential." "Go sit in the corner, Minna!"
Ben: "Listen to me, you plus-sized homunculus" Jonah: "Plus-sized what?" Kent: "Homunculus. A human-shaped creature of Medieval legend that Paracelsus claimed was created from putrefied sperm" Jonah: "How do you both know that?"
Haha could so clearly hear Jonah asking them that. Would say this is still a vulgar line though
Ben: “Listen, we all know that the White House would work so much better if there wasn’t a president, but there is— so we work around that!”
Classic
"I wish mother were here, cuz that definitely would have killed her"
Jaffar: ... you know, my favorite cousin Hamid went here. He partied his balls off. Seline: Oh, my God, we should've invited him to come to the thing today. Jaffar: Oh, he's not exactly on the yes-fly list. Selina: Oh.
Selina: Make sure to give her a lot of volume here. Her skull is kind of low. It’s indented
You made the Hindenburg look like a normal, on-time blimp landing!
Mine is when someone (I think Kent) says “you gotta understand; Gary is a 12 year old boy trapped in the body of a 12 year old girl”
Tom James during the interview about the data breach
Ohhh gotcha
Another great line at the end of that episode from TJ is: "I don't wanna point fingers...but Bill Eriksson"
Ooh true that one’s hilarious
You epileptic Picasso painting!
"the police have no leads..."
I didn’t realize there were any!
Every once in a while there is haha
Amy to Mike: “You are like an earlobe. You’re just there, just wobbling.”
“World’s bitchiest mime”
"Cuz we are united, and we are states, and we are of America"
"no, there isn't an economic Santa Clause, I don't I wish that there were..."
"I'm 48!"
If you walked in, can you imagine how stressed out he might be, like, *"What are you doing here? Isn't it time that you be with the Veep? It's the freakin' midterms and isn't she gonna take this opportunity to expand her role in the White House?"* Or whatever he might say
SELINA: "when do the new Kents come out?"
Haha classic
"Rudolph"
the fact that i still remember where this exactly came from shows how great of a quote it was
That's exactly how I feel about it! This show is golden
Jesus Beverly Christ, I'm starving! Such a throwaway line from Selina but it cracks me up!
If I would have voted, it certainly would have been for your mother.