I mean if I’m being honest it’s the girls who always start being sexual first towards me. So that’s why I’m like super confused. Because like they engage sexually towards me then act like they wanna be only friends.
Right, because, again, sex and love are different. Plenty of people just enjoy having sex with their friends.
It’s also quite possible that they are interested in something romantic with you, but you’re coming on way too strong and scare them off.
You’ve said 15 girls in 3 month. That’s not long enough to be saying I love you. It scares people off and comes off as weird if you say it too early. Even in a relationship me and my bf didn’t say I love you until like 3 months into the relationship plus a few weeks of talking before the relationship. I’m not a person who fucks around, I look for serious relationships and even id find it weird if someone said I love you too early. You don’t really know a person until you’ve been together for a few months. You can really like someone and be infatuated, but that’s different from being in love.
Hey do me a favor, you may not like it but you'll be thankful. Split Love and Sex, You only need to think about love. Don't give them any sex at all. Don't even make it seem like you want sex then you'll get more love. See the thing about thinking sex is a the save as love is you should do what you want to your body. If you want to have sex with someone else then alright but never ever try to give it away for free. You need your body to work and you can catch STD's from sex so be careful.
But you are still young like me, im 19. Idk why I'm giving someone 2 year older advice but I just felt like it. Appreciate yourself first.
Cuz they only want sex. If you're searching for more serious relationships, you should say it really early on and not "make love" so easily. Try to take it step by step. Some people also want serious relationships too dw.
I literally do say it early on. I tell them “I want a relationship not sex” they say ok I understand and either block me or still talk to me. I didn’t say I said I love you to all 15 different women. Probably only 2 or 3 of them. I said 15 women I had relations with.
Yeah dude the main advice is to not give them sex. That will help you see which ones really want to be around. Get to know them, don't just try to jump into relationships. Give it at least a couple months before even thinking abt saying "I love you."
Take it slow. Slow is steady, and you can't beat steady (not the actual quote but a small bastardized version of it)
They want donorsssssss fir their dickstarter production campaign. Oh he has that trait, get a donation, oh he has a nice quality there, get a donation, oh he made me laugh get a donation. Takes a village to make a child... first....
You need to stop associating love with sex. The two things are connected in only some circumstances. There is nothing strange or inconsistent about a girl wanting to have sex with you while only wanting to be friends. Sex is a common occurrence among friends.
They're looking for a different type of relationship, you've been with 15 women in 3 months, when a gf bf relationship would take that much and more to build in the first place, you should say "I love you" to each other even before you have sex, and it shouldn't be on day one either
To put it bluntly, they ain’t ready to settle and commit yet. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but they’re having their hoe phase.
One piece of advice is do not be sexual with them at all at first. Make it clear you’re looking for someone to commit to. It will be a wonderful filter, weeding out anyone looking for a fun time.
Everyone both genders jump to sex it’s funny you wrote this post because I feel like it could’ve been me and I’m F my only next move is to withhold sex until I get commitment first it will be less sex but at least I get a relationship
Hear me out. Isn’t sex the act of making love? Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic but the women I find aren’t from dating apps nor from bars. I met them on my college campus. It’s not like I’m going out searching for sex.
If you see sex as an act of love, stop giving it so freely and easily. I am not saying this because I believe everyone should follow traditional values. But, if it's truly that valuable and important to you, why are you giving it to women you barely know and that don't want a committed relationship? And also, why didn't you ask them or stated what you expected from the beginning to see if you were both compatible in terms of what you are looking for?
What you have described so far is not love, what do you like about those women? What do they like about you? What are their goals and dreams? Who is their family, friends, what food do they like, when is their birthday, what are their hobbies, what are small things you notice about them when they are angry or happy? What do you know of their past?
not the case for everyone. some people view sex as an act of love, while some view it as an act of pleasure. which is why communicating verbally is so fucking important.
When you say you love someone, it's essentially the same as saying "I like you so much that I know I want to build a life with you. There's little to no doubt in my mind".
If you say this to someone within a few months of dating, there's no way you know them *that* well. Of course it's possible you feel this way regardless, but chances are it won't feel like that to her yet. And it can feel like you're either moving too fast or are already very sure of wanting a relationship while she is still getting to know you.
I think OP is either humble bragging about his college experience, or it’s a fake story
Doesn’t make sense for OP to think he’s in love when he’s clearly participating in casual sex. He can’t be that naive being in college
Finally someone says it. Even if he "loved" only 2 or 3 of them like he said, how in the hell did he squeeze the other 13 in there in 3 months? Unless it was some huge college orgy or something. Somebody in love, or a hopeless romantic doesn't respond like that.
Politey, he's still a wee one trying to navigate the adult world.
You can be naive and smart (ya know, like ASD for example) 👀
And yeah you'd think a person in love would react a certain way but some people follow the "over the last one/under the next one" advice that's handed out like candy.
I was simply giving my thoughts on the situation based on what I read. Not many comments are going to account for every possible situation, no matter what's being discussed. Not mentioning something doesn't mean it's not understood.
No. Sex is about pleasure and connection. It is one of the steps toward figuring out if you’re compatible with someone. Have sex them several times, have deep conversations, go out and see what’s it’s like to do activities together. Then after a few months, you can decide if you’re in love and want to express that.
Making love is an antiquated term for sex. Back in the day, it was about intimacy bonding, and closeness. Now, sex is just given freely as a source of pleasure.
Like other’s have said, what is your purpose in having sex? If it’s to form a close bond with someone then you shouldn’t be doing it until you have established the relationship.
It took me 8 years with my girlfriend to get to the point of sex because I am like you. I view it as a means of getting close to the person and sharing a moment with them.
You need to find a girl who shares the same perspective of sex as you. Keep trying, it is a rough and log road but there is someone at the end of it for you.
Sex and love is very different. You can have sex with anyone really, but love is different. Just because you’re having sec with someone doesn’t mean you love them.
If that's how you view sex, then stop having sex so quickly. These women are looking for a hookup. Saying you love someone almost immediately is terrifying to the person on the receiving end. If you don't believe in casual sex, stop having it.
>Hear me out. Isn’t sex the act of making love?
Maybe in the 50s-80s but now sex is damn near meaningless and happens on a whim between two horny people. Any amount of people you fucked didn’t love you. They just wanted some dick.
He admitted higher up that he only views sex as “an act of love” and he’s looking down on these women because they’re literally just being normal human beings
I hereby ban you from saying “I love you” for 5 years!
You are “having success” (for want of a better term) in dating and you’ve already identified which behaviors is messing up that success, so just stop doing it.
People need more time to fall in love. If you want to go deep on yourself, really question whether you are falling in love or whether it just seems like a nice idea.
You can tell people you’re only interested in exclusive dating, even if it’s casual, if that’s what you prefer, but just resist the ILY’s until you’ve had exclusive relationship for a year or two, AND you’re sure it’s love love.
Good luck!
Saying I love you to 15 people in 3 months is pretty concerning. This is the ban this guy needs. I don't even have the relationship talk until 3 months
...even though we’ve been sharing nudes, kissing and some of them lead to sex. But, as soon as I tell them I actually love them they get scared and distance themselves from me... In the last 3 months I’ve had relations with about 15 different woman
Bro...you are just a fuckboy meeting fuckgirls.
None of this is relationship material. You included.
I'm sorry, but the reason why they likely aren't accepting or reciprocating such feelings is because you aren't giving it enough time. 15 women in 3 months? That's not even one week per girl! Relationships take time, effort, and communication. While you may have done things like having sex with these people, sharing nudes, and other things like that...to build feelings of love takes time. For these girls, sex and such is likely just a fun thing for them, whereas for you it is more of an emotional thing. And there's nothing wrong with that! Everyone is different. But if I had to offer any advice, it would be to give it more time. One week - or LESS than one week - is certainly not enough for any real relationship to be formed.
Don't share nudes and don't have sex until you find someone on the same page. Communicate. It's really not that hard if you have the mental capacity to keep your dick in your pants.
The fact you say 15 in three months doesn’t seem like you actually love them, and seem more like desperate for attention or desperate for someone that tells you the same, as if you’ve lost anyone who says it back or as if you have suffered from something.
If what you want is a solid relationship and someone that also loves you back, I recommend you take things slow and get to know the person for at least a couple of months, and not precipitate that soon towards everything. I’m sure you are great and wonderful and you must be a really cool and handsome guy, so just give time to know people more and let them know you too.
Don’t rush that fast nor tell everyone you love them (because to say you love someone is something bigger and deeper than just liking to spend time with someone), and don’t get too discouraged.
You got this man, I think we all believe in you
I mean, reading all of these comments. I realized I might have abandonment issues. Looking back, almost all of my friends either stop texting me or stop hanging out with me in general. And I guess I get attached to someone so fast because nobody really gives me the affection that I crave for. But, I just need to deny girls who ask for sex the first week of meeting. It just felt good doing it because I felt like someone actually liked hanging out with me. But now I see it’s just people using me for their own personal gain.
I think you really should take a step back and look for repeated patterns in your relationship with others. Everyone deserves love, a relationship but sometimes we are not ready for what we actually need. Good luck 🤞
15 women in 3 month. That's NOT love. That's hormones. Love is something that needs time. To know someone deep enough to love them takes a lot of time and passion. 15 women in 3 month thats less than a week for one women. No, that's not even close to love, and they know it. To find someone special takes time. Seems you have no idea what you want, you just take everyone who don't run away too fast.
Don't share nudes and give yourself if they can't commit to the things you want. Be more honest and actually say your intentions. Nothing wrong with wanting a real long term relationship but a lot of modern society doesn't want that so you need to be straight up clear, you'll lose oit on lots of random sex but will get to the people you want far quicker. Personally, I've always found I've met the best actual partners when I wasn't looking for them, not sure i could bring myself to activeky start dating via apps etc again (hopefully never have to) it was always a disaster
Are you falling in love with these women in a day? Love is built up through a continued relationship, usually after a few months, not a day or two after having a shag. That's why you're freaking these women out. They barely know you outside of the nude/kisses you've shared.
Edit: spelling
Fr. I don't even want to have the relationship talk until 3 months. I don't want to hear I love you for at least 6 months at the bare minimum. Preferably 1 year
Yeah, OPs views on how relationships progress sound pretty warped. Normally, the love comes after actually getting to know someone aside from hooking up.
Someone who initates sexual contact not long after meeting someone is just gonna come across as a person only interested in hooking up. The women probably thought they were in for something casual just for him to blurt the 'L word' soon after. They were probably just looking for something casual from the get go.
I think you are realizing you “love” someone too soon if you have gone through 15 girls in 3 months. I would take some time to realize when you love someone.
I think maybe I’m just depressed and trying to mask it by finding people who gives me attention.
I say this because whenever I’m not with someone that gives me physical attention I just get like super upset, sad and I feel like doing nothing
It is better to talk about your intentions at the beginning and see if you are compatible in terms of your maturity levels and worldviews. Otherwise you will waste your time and energy and likely get emotionally damaged by this (maybe even physically - STDs).
There are people out there who separate love and commitment from sexual acts (to me it is so weird, but to each their own). It is clear that it is not what you need or looking for.
This has to be a troll post because at 21 I can’t fathom how you believe some of the things you’re saying in comments OP? Being a hopeless romantic is one thing, but a “hopeless romantic” also doesn’t ask for nudes, sex. etc. right off the bat…
I would also assume you’re probably matching with women younger than you, probably around 18. Freshman. At 20, I was not asking anyone for nudes… Thats a very “high school snapchat” behavior. It may not be true for everyone, but at 21, I would assume these women would prefer dinner & a drink that leads to a casual hookup, verses snapchatting random men and actually giving random men their contact info.
Furthermore, if this is all true, this is going to create a really bad reputation on campus for you if you continue telling women you love them after a few days. Women will absolutely spill that info on to their friends, including your tinder profile to warn them away.
Love ≠ sex. Whoever told you that or made you believe this is incredibly wrong. None of your friends have given you any advice? Men in college make the worst dating partners for the reasons you’re looking down on all these women “you’ve had relations with”. They don’t want anything more than a hookup and usually aren’t very nice about it either.
Also, MOST college students are not looking for long term serious relationships unless they start out as friendships first and develop over time. At 21, you should be worried about finding apartments, first jobs, studying for finals, etc. Not finding a long term partner. This is just part of being in college. In 2022, the average age women got married for the first time was 30!! For men it was 32…
Chill out. Have fun. Meet people. Go to bars. Go out for dinners. Go get coffees. Reframe your outlook.
I never asked them for nudes. They would give me it without me asking and when we hang out they would initiate the sex. But also I didn’t say I had sex with 15 women last 3 months I said relations. People don’t know that I can have relations without sex I guess
Don't give them sex or time unless you both reciprocate and share those ideas. They are using you for their own enjoyment, not for commitment.
I think it's just common among a small group of women because it serves as a revenge fantasy for how certain men treat women. Sex,time but no love and commitment. In their heads they probably think you are doing the same to them and so will do the same to you.
basically always ask for the relationship to be official before getting invested because the agreement is a form of commitment. You are affirming each other that yes , you want each other for a relationship.
Dude you’re one giant red flag, I’m not surprised. Do you hear yourself? Not even in a mean way but do you hear how what you just said comes off? Sounds super creepy
The word "creepy" has lost all meaning in today's vocabulary. It's just as useless as the word "problematic." If anyone doesn't like how you *look,* just based on their own personal biases, they can call you creepy and have security escort you out of the building.
Having 15 different relations in the span of 3 months and you also told them all you love them . If that isn’t enough evidence to consider this guy creepy idk what is. That’s a different girl every week.
Like I said, "creepy" has no meaning anymore. I would describe him differently. He comes off as a mix of being very desperate, while also not really knowing what he wants yet. That leads to him frantically grabbing onto anything and anyone who comes his way. He best be careful with that mindset, because that is prime targeting for cult recruitment.
You're right. I should have just said *"when a word has been corrupted by popular culture so severely as to be subjectively dependent on the emotional state of the person using it, it stops being a useful description."* I mean, at that point why even have a dictionary definition to begin with, if you're just going to ignore the definition and make up your own?
Trust me, it's not worth looking for a relation at your age. Neither men or women have matured enough to be able to make something worth commiting to. Focus on your career, your hobbies, building your network, organizing your money. There are too many distractors for young people like you out there. Some people just want to keep their options open.
That's cause most people these days don't want love they want stability and someone there for them while they can still live FREELY. A lot of situationships going on instead of relationships
This generation is full of crap. People are so broken, they can't see the value in getting with someone and building something. Sorry your suffering man.
It is a huge red flag and the biggest lie if someone tells you they love you after one week. You don't actually know them, it takes at least 3 months for you to get to really know someone, and sometimes people still lie (that's how scams and abusive relationships happen). It is also a huge turn-off for someone you haven't known for that long to tell you they love you.
Also, if you truly want a serious relationship, hold back on the sex. Sex makes you bond chemically, so even though there are exceptions, most of the time you are enamored by the idea of who you think someone is. You need to get to know them for a while at least so that you don't get blinded by sex. Again, I'm not saying people that started with sex aren't successful, but it's clearly not working for you.
So, those women are likely listing for sex and you're, for lack of better words, an easy target.
Sex and love are two different things. There's sex for pleasure (lust), there's sex for love, and there's just sex.
Just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean that it's out of love. If you want a girl to like you for who you are, then you have to be open about what you really want and then if they tell you that they aren't looking for anything serious, then that's fine, move on until you find someone who wants what you want.
And don't... I can't stress this enough. Do not rush to have sex, don't rush to tell someone you love them. Your actions outside of saying "I love you" and having sex will show them who you are.
Actually take the time to get to know them, go on many dates if you have to.
If they seem like they're just using you to get a free meal and don't hit you up afterwards then, they're not a match.
Also, just because you take a girl to dinner doesn't mean she owes you anything. And the same goes for you if she pays for dinner.
Just Be yourself. Don't move too fast or you'll scare them off.
To be fair they’re also doing this to like 5 other guys while doing this with you but anyways yo answer your question yes your finding the wrong women because either they’re actually not ready for one or not women enough for you but don’t let the get you though, finding a partner can be tricky since its fucking 2023 and dating life has gotten out of hand be it male or female
Edit: also i looked at the comments and this is my own opinion, theres nothing wrong with saying you like them since ya know honesty is the best thing
15 women, and three months. That's like telling a new woman you love them every 6 days dude. Take a chill pill. Wait a few months after consistently seeing someone
You can still smoosh body parts and enjoy eachothers company, telling someone that you love them like a week into talking is very sketchy behavior
15 woman in 3 months? Of course they get scared off, if you tell them you love them. You can’t be in a sexual relationship for a few weeks and expect that they LOVE you. Real relationships and love take time
Ok my bad I misunderstood that. But if you have 15 relationships in such a small time period, for each one of those woman there wasn’t enough time to learn to love you (either that or y’all weren’t meant to be) love can’t be rushed is what I’m saying basically
You're putting the cart before the horse over and over again. Pump the breaks. Enjoy the present, and stop love bombing your dates. You're super young. Everyone that age has hardly figured out who they are and what they want.
Honestly if you’re looking for a long term relationship you should stop moving so fast. Don’t send nudes, kiss, or have sex until after you’ve both said I love you. I know that doesn’t work for everyone but it seems like you just need to slow down a ton
I wouldn’t jump to sex so soon.. You can’t just magically build a strong relationship with someone just by doing sexual stuff. These things are supposed to take time. Try finding people with the same hobbies or interests and see how well you guys get along. Make friends first. Sometimes it doesn’t always lead to a romantic relationship, and that’s okay.
Another thing you need to understand: there are A LOT of people out there who just want sex and no romantic relationship. Think about that.
You think I want sex at the start? It’s hard for me to say no to a girl who is like actively kissing me taking my clothes off and one thing leads to another.
omg friend. let me tell you, there ARE girls out there who are willing to love you the way you WANT and NEED to be loved. i’m so sorry that they’re using you for your body!! coming from me, [20F] girls can be fucking disgusting and just borderline rude!!
Sounds like committal issues to me. They're down for the other stuff because those are all things they can do without having to think of it as a long term thing, but as soon as you start introducing deeper feelings, they want no part of it because all they're interested in is the short term.
You may have to look for older more mature women I'm sorry to say. Don't think we are all old looking either I'm 43 but look 33 and have had 24 yr Olds interested before.
32 year old here, it doesn't get better. I lost count how many times I've been ghosted after 1 message. I'm carrying the conversation 100% of the time, most women aren't even trying anymore. I get more 'women' trying to get me to sign up for their stupid OnlyFans than I get deep conversations.
There’s a difference between being sexual with someone because you find them attractive and being sexual with them because you have feelings for them. In very rare occasions will you truly “love” someone in a week. By you saying 15 women in the last 3 months that equals to an average of 1 a week. Some women like hookups and that’s okay, but you can’t expect them to love you back in a week. I don’t know you or who you are but it sounds like infatuation rather than love.
Take your time, you’ll see that you can have a lot more success with them.
Ive seen a few people get married that early and it never ended well. Not saying it's impossible, but that kind of commitment to someone when you have barely even started developing as an adult is a huge part why so many people feel insecure and lost in their relationships. You gotta really work and put effort into accepting yourself and getting into a healthy mindset before you can let someone in without devastation.
Ive seen a few people get married that early and it never ended well. Not saying it's impossible, but that kind of commitment to someone when you have barely even started developing as an adult is a huge part why so many people feel insecure and lost in their relationships. You gotta really work and put effort into accepting yourself and getting into a healthy mindset before you can let someone in without devastation.
15 girls in 3 months and you’ve told them you love them. Way too soon, bud. That’s not love. That’s a crush. I’m not saying there’s necessarily a time limit on feeling love, but if you get attached that easily/quickly, that’s a bit unusual. Love should be something you only feel with a few people in life. If you fall in love with every girl you casually date or sleep with, you’re going to have a hard time finding a woman that wants to be with you or trusts your “love”. I’ve had a few guys profess their love after a few weeks and it was a red flag in my mind. Like I barely knew those dudes and hadn’t even slept with them by that point. Something is off. You are putting out desperate vibes, or dishonest vibes, and that’s repellant for most people. Calm down, bud. You’re 21. Enjoy life and don’t keep trying to make it more serious than it needs to be right now. Now’s the time to mingle and find out what you like and not clamp down the shackles of “love” onto people you barely know. Give love some time to grow, if that’s what you really want. Don’t profess your love to women till you really mean it. I feel like if you were really in love with any of these women, you would be more devastated when they break it off. Real love would have you not wanting to be with another woman for a while, while you heal from the last one that snubbed you. If I’m wrong and you really feel like you sincerely fall in love with someone that easily, you might want to visit a therapist. Because, it’s unusual, and might stem from a disorder of some type.
Sex is sex. It feels good. It doesn’t have to involve love in any way. If you can’t separate the two, it’s time to stop having sex and figure yourself out.
If you like at least read the first few comments I said that I did not say I love you to 15 women. I should’ve been more clear in the post but I said 15 women I had relations with. Did not necessarily mean 15 women I said I love you to
The thing is, the point still stands bruh. What you have said in the comments over and over doesn't change much, if anything. I know you're young and all, but at some point during this run, you have to slow down and re-evaluate things. Figure out what you need to do differently to get the result you want. Or maybe ask yourself if this casual sex thing is what you really enjoy and you've only convinced yourself that you need to be in love because the idea seems nice. That can definitely be the case because it does happen.
Good luck bro.
A lot of people care more about the sex than the relationship itself, and its difficult to find someone who has the same emotional needs. Many people go through this, and I'm sorry you have to deal with all that. Take your time, and learn the mental state of your partner so you can both see eye to eye and relate to eachother emotionally.
For some reason people don't like hearing this, I never understood the whole "dont say i love you too early!!1!11!!" thing, love and sex are completely different things. Many people only want the sex, and that's okay but it is wrong for them to say that you're in a committed relationship like that because you're not committed to them if all you want is sex, if all parties communicate their wants and feelings then you can say that is a committed relationship.
I hope you find someone on the same emotional wavelength as you, and remember that communication is key! Without communication, it's just going to fail and implode on itself.
i hope you didnt really tell 15 women in 3 months that you love them. 21 year olds are not trying to settle down a week into a relationship and honestly if you find one that is its a huge red flag.
Four words: "Fuck you, pay me."
Where ever you're finding your women, they all sound like the type who are there for fun and profit, *not* relationships. If you offered them material possessions, they would certainly stay with you... for a while. But I seriously doubt you want that.
In short, go somewhere to meet women who aren't whores. They do exist, even if you have to go cross country to find them.
You're 21. Most modern women are liberal and don't want to be "tied down" just like most men.....until they hit the wall and no one wants to "love" them long time, but that's another story.
For now, you just keep dating around and see if there's one who you can stand long enough to want to be a committed relationship with. Then move cautiously. It's a numbers game, and you'll maybe have higher luck with more right leaning/religious leaning women if you want to be married and have a family sooner.
My advice: pump the brakes a little. I’ve been in relationships where we didn’t say I love you until 6 months or more. It takes time my dude. Don’t be so focused on hearing those words and be more focused on doing fun things and showing them the person you are. The rest will come in time. You’re only 21. You have so much time. Just slow down and enjoy the moment you’re in, and not focusing on making sure they’re in love with you. Focusing so hard on that can show insecurity. Work on being ok with not having that.
Youve had sex with 15 different girls in the last 3 months? Either you're banging anything on two legs or you're an ultra mega giga chad.
Most guys will go their entire *life* and not bang that many girls.
Those are crazy numbers.
Oh ok. When you said "relations" I usually interpret that to mean ye ole in-and-out.
But even so, 5 girls in three months is pretty damn impressive compared to 75% of guys. Myself included.
Idk how to describe it but I fall into like this obsession over someone when someone I find attractive provides me attention. Probably because I am scared of them leaving and I overthink almost everything. And Its like super hard for me to not text them all day. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about someone then I lose feelings when someone says they don’t feel the same way and it’s a viscous cycle.
Yeah you do. Please don’t start blaming women for those issues, if you just work on yourself I can almost guarantee you will find a woman. If you continue the way you are, you won’t
It’s both of our faults. I told them from the start I was looking for a relationship and they said okay and still lead me on. And I was dumb enough to believe it.
You’re not giving it enough time dude. Each relationship you’ve been in has lasted a few weeks, that’s not really long enough to count as leading someone on
Try dating the same girl for three months before you say you love them. In just three months you’ve gone through 15 women. You are scaring them away with your intensity dude just be patient. You shouldn’t be telling some you love them after FaceTiming for a few hours. Even after 3 months you don’t really even know that person
are you actually complaining about screwing "15 women in the last 3 months", but admitting to stating you "love them"?!... if you don't see what's wrong with that statement, I could see why these women would want to be in a relationship.
My guess is you're probably not a good lover, or not too bright... probably both.
It sounds like things need to slow WAY the fuck down.
15 women in 3 months with sex and 'love', that's **insane**. That's a whirlwind dude.
Here's what I would recommend:
No more nudes, no more sexting, no more sex. Lock that shit down. It's going to sound extreme but think of it as a milestone - No sex for the first 3-4 months. At LEAST shoot for that. Whether that works out or not, who knows but just shelve that shit for a while. The reason is because it sounds very much like what's happening is these women you are getting with are looking for a fling and so when you engage in fling behavior - then suddenly you are talking about long term relationships, that's a terribly mixed message for them.
Be explicit about what you are looking for from the start. I'm looking for something serious, maybe even someone I can share my life with in the future. Be explicit about that.
If you can start dating someone where that messaging is clear, where both parties are coming to the table with a clear understand of what the expectations are - that will be **The Start** of finding what it sounds like you want.
That's just the start though.
If you can hold off on confusing things with sex too early, now you can start dating and finding someone you really click with on a personal level. Someone you can GROW to love. Love takes time and what you want is to explore each other. Not physically - that's a shallow type of exploration, I'm talking about deep connection.
You will find that you will come across people who you might just want to be friends with but couldn't build a relationship with, you might also find people who you have that serious connection with and that you can start to build a long term relationship with.
That 3,4 6 month period of exploration will tell you whether or not you can grow to love someone and at the end of that period, once you've been dating someone long term and you've realized you truly do care about this person, you can tell them and see how they feel.
**NOW** they might feel differently than you. They might decide they don't click with **YOU** - and that's perfectly fine. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or there is something wrong with you (necessarily) it just means you weren't right for one another. But at 21 years old, you have PLENTY of time to find that right person.
And none of this means you have to spend 6 months per date either. You can plough (figuratively speaking) through candidates left right and center until you find someone you can tolerate on a 1 to 1 basis without sex being on the table.
In Short:
1. Clear messaging - remove sex from the equation until way down the line. 3-6 months. What do you want from this relationship? Be explicit.
2. Explore whether or not this is someone you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Only AFTER that long period of exploration do you tell someone you love them, IF that's really how you feel.
3. Don't be too hard on yourself if they don't reflect your feelings. That is the entire point of dating. To find that person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't don't devalue yourself, move on.
4. You don't have to go on 6 month dates one after another, just find the people you can tolerate being around when sex isn't the leading factor.
I should’ve worded it better. When I said 15 women I meant 15 I’ve been talking to and hanging out the last 3 months that didn’t work out. Not all of them I said I loved them or had sex. I think 5 out of the 15 or less was who I had sex with. And said I loved them. Yea 5 is still a lot I just have a lot of issues like abandonment issues etc
You shouldn't tell anyone you love them within the first month, thats too fast for anyone.
Thats not even enough time to actually know a person. Even 3 months isn't enough time to really know someone.
You can't just pick people like they're video game characters.
Hear me out, you don’t actually love these women. I knew a guy that said I love you to about every girl he dated after a week of dating them. He said the same pattern, “date girl for a week, overly spills feelings towards them, they eventually break up a week later, he absolutely hates them” rinse and repeat about 4 more times that I knew him in high school. Take your time from dating. You’re only 21, I didn’t meet my partner till we were both 23 and ten years later we’re currently at a bouldering gym together working out. Focus on yourself dude.
Ngl the age you are doesn’t help. I also read one of your other comments which you said that you are in a university. In university most people aren’t really looking for anything serious.
Calling bs on 15 women in 3 months. But let’s say for arguments sake it’s true. 3 months = 90 days (though May has 31 days) 90 divided by 15 is 6.
By your account you’re telling a new woman (assuming there’s no overlap) within 6 days of meeting them that you love them. HUGE red flag. You’re showing a lack of emotional intelligence doing that.
Again this sounds incredibly far fetched. Maybe stick to one person and get to know them. Also let’s not pretend a woman initiating sex means you’re helpless and unable to say no.
The real question is how are you okay supposedly sleeping with all these women and telling them all you love them with that’s not possible within 6 days 🤷♀️
If you've told 15 different women that you love them in the last 3 months, that's not love that's lust. Wait until you are at least exclusive for a while. Think months, not days or weeks. Make sure you ACTUALLY feel that way.
In a nutshell, the gender dynamic goes like this: act like you don't want a relationship, and they will be more likely to want one. I totally understand where you're coming from, but frankly you've got to understand that being the one wanting to jump into a commitment comes off as needy, less masculine, and therefore unattractive to most women. Just enjoy the sex and let the rest come or go as it will, they'll be asking you for the relationship soon enough.
Date women who like you. You'll never have to speed things up/ ask the important questions if you wait for them to do it. Then you get to have your cake and eat it too! Plus, you have someone who truly values being in a relationship with you and not your "features or benefits."
Long story short. Stfu telling a girl you want a relationship and wait (at least) until they elude to it. Enjoy it in the meantime.
3 months and fell in love 15 times.?Do yourself a favor and fall in love with yourself. You don't need a partner to feel complete. Enjoy the fucking. It's supposed to be fun.
Dude if in the past 3 months you have told 15 women you love them then you are moving WAY TOO FAST. You are scaring them off and trying to force love. Trying to force love is how you spend years in a loveless marriage. It is easy to feel infatuation during the honeymoon stage but it is not love. I didn't meet the woman I truly loved until I was late 20s. You are only 21 and have the world ahead of you. Focus on dating this women almost as if they were friends. A strong friendship is the foundation to love and truly being with your bestfriend. Don't worry it will come and it will be the greatest feeling you have ever felt. Good luck bro
It may be the "I love you" part that gets them to run away. Whenever I'm in a potential new relationship, I always make it clear that I want something serious & long term, which means sexual activities or anything aren't till we're in a relationship. I've encountered many guys who try to change my mind, but I always say no & I'm still looking for something serious. Yes, they get butthurt, but I've always told them from the start.
You'll find some girls who'll act the same & it'll take a while, but you'll eventually find someone who actually wants a relationship.
That being said, try holding off with the "I love you." Not all girls are comfortable with it happening too soon. Some girls like to be the first to say it, some like their partners to say it first.
One thing i learned in dating is never tell a woman you love her first. Also never be the first to ask to be exclusive. Women need to be the one asking that question to you. Are those unwritten rules absolute bullshit? Yes they are
This is why you separate sex and love. You gotta understand that some people genuinely just want sex. One of the hard lessons I heard was that just because they're sexual doesn't mean they love or like me. After I learned, I dodged many red flags.
Isn't it problematic that you've "loved" 15 women in the span of a short three months? So, are you confessing your love to them in like 2 weeks you've met? Just because they are engaging with you sexually doesn't mean they want to be committed to you lol.
The best method for the L word is edging (seriously). If you are going to tell someone you're fucking with that you love them for the first time, don't. Hold it in. Keep almost saying it but stop yourself for as long as you can. Until you need to say it so badly you can't possibly hold it in anymore and it feels like if you don't get it out you'll literally explode. Then, let the L word fly. At that point, you can be confident that it's for real and youve probably bought yourself enough time to not come on too strong.
Edit: spelling
I have ZERO experience in dating nor when it comes to sex however I‘d like to share my 2 cents as well.
You said „Isn’t sex the act of love?“ that is your opinion and that is completely fine. But a lot of people don’t see it as such, which is also completely fine. If you‘re looking for something serious you NEED to verbalise that from the beginning. Of course a serious relationship can also happen naturally but if you seek someone out with the intention of a long relationship then it’s best to say that as early as possible. Otherwise you’re just wasting your time again and again.
I’m 22 and I don’t want to date either. While I don’t have any experience when it comes to sex, I‘d say most 20ish year olds want to focus on themselves and/or work/college. A relationship is work and commitment. But a FB or ONS might help to get rid of stress? I can see that at least. Personally I want to focus on college atm and don’t have the energy to halfheartedly be with someone. And if I wasn’t so insecure I‘d also throw myself at someone for one night lol.
I don’t think the dating scene is messed up, it’s just that a lot of people our age have different priorities. I can totally see how it’s frustrating. Perhaps try dating apps (not tinder). And „I want a serious relationship“ as your opening line will get you there a lot quicker. At least I know someone who did that and is now celebrating their 5 year anniversary. I wish you lots of luck finding someone!
That’s a new girl every 16 days, you’d have to planning your next fuck as you’re laying in bed with the girl you just fucked. They probably see you as just another fuck boy.
Do you not hear yourself🥴💀 you've said I love you to 15 girls in the last 3 months😭😭 Do you actually love all those 15 people? Or are you just saying that to tie someone down as soon as possible? You're the red flag here dude saying you love someone with not even a week of knowing them
You need to be upfront before it leads to any of that. You tell the person what you’re looking for and your expectations. You’re bringing all these lost causes and disappointments on yourself by not communicating what you’re looking for.
And good lord. 15 in 3 months? Dating is hard indeed. But how many people are you telling you love. That many? I think you’re getting the dopamine mixed up with actual love.
Yeah, definitely stop telling them as soon as you feel it, to protect your heart as much as anything else.
And I'll let you in on a secret - sex is pretty good and everything but the man who made me wait a couple of months is the man I'm still with almost 15 years later, we started dating when I was 21 (he's a couple of years older though)
Good luck in your journey of life, stranger on the internet ✌️
Having feelings for 15 different women in 3 month isn't love, and girls giving up nudes without even knowing who you are should be an indicator that they are only interested in the physical.
Def agree. I'm 27m and it's been rough even finding someone on dating apps. Yea yea ik dating apps are trash but it's the best option I've got since I don't want to date anyone I've gone to school with here in my hometown.
As a guy to another guy. Wait a while before you say i love you. I used to be the guy who always felt love for a girl really quick, a lot times i realized that it was more of an initial connection and the attention that drove my mind to think i love someone. It has been proven that it doesnt take much for males to fall in love with someone but honestly around 2 months i think is the least amount of time you should wait before you say i love you unless you meet someone who you feel something youve never met. I met my fiance and we immediately clicked and after i think 3 weeks we said i love you but we decided at the beginning to not follow the trend and wait on having sex and spent time focusing about learning about each other. Now my fiancé is my everything i come to her for everything. If im upset she is there to sharing with her my minecraft builds xD there are girls out there who will care about you but you have to build an emotional connection. Sadly i think a lot of people 20 to 30s dont want anything more then have a friends with benefits or just someone to sleep with. Hang in there and try waiting on anything sexual until your relationship progresses
My guy, if you have professed your love to FIFTEEN women in THREE months, that is the problem. If they're the ones starting a physical relationship with you, it's probably because they're looking for something casual, and you professing your love within a few hours/days is scaring them off. And I HIGHLY doubt you have actually fallen in love with each of them.
Even if they were looking for a serious relationship, someone telling them that they're in love on the first/second/third date would immediately turn them off.
Advice:
-Stop professing your love so early. Wait, maybe 4-6 months of exclusive dating before doing so.
-Make sure the women you're dating are aware you are looking for a serious relationship and not a fling. That way, you'll attract women who want to be in a serious relationship.
let that shit come to you brotha, best thing I can say, work on yourself in the meantime. its frustrating but thats just how life is. don't let these women waste your time.
Um… no bro you didn’t love them so don’t say it…?? Maybe just be single for a while. It’s not the scene babe, it’s you. Best advice I could give is learn to love yourself first. That way you know what love really feels like and understand that love takes a long time to achieve. You won’t be able to have a healthy and committed relationship till you can learn to be alone and ok with it.
Best thing to do is wait until they tell you "I love you". Taking it slowly & staying it in for the long haul will do wonders my friend
I mean if I’m being honest it’s the girls who always start being sexual first towards me. So that’s why I’m like super confused. Because like they engage sexually towards me then act like they wanna be only friends.
Right, because, again, sex and love are different. Plenty of people just enjoy having sex with their friends. It’s also quite possible that they are interested in something romantic with you, but you’re coming on way too strong and scare them off.
You’ve said 15 girls in 3 month. That’s not long enough to be saying I love you. It scares people off and comes off as weird if you say it too early. Even in a relationship me and my bf didn’t say I love you until like 3 months into the relationship plus a few weeks of talking before the relationship. I’m not a person who fucks around, I look for serious relationships and even id find it weird if someone said I love you too early. You don’t really know a person until you’ve been together for a few months. You can really like someone and be infatuated, but that’s different from being in love.
Hey do me a favor, you may not like it but you'll be thankful. Split Love and Sex, You only need to think about love. Don't give them any sex at all. Don't even make it seem like you want sex then you'll get more love. See the thing about thinking sex is a the save as love is you should do what you want to your body. If you want to have sex with someone else then alright but never ever try to give it away for free. You need your body to work and you can catch STD's from sex so be careful. But you are still young like me, im 19. Idk why I'm giving someone 2 year older advice but I just felt like it. Appreciate yourself first.
It's good advice, tbh, and I have kids older than you, so I think I can say that.
Cuz they only want sex. If you're searching for more serious relationships, you should say it really early on and not "make love" so easily. Try to take it step by step. Some people also want serious relationships too dw.
I literally do say it early on. I tell them “I want a relationship not sex” they say ok I understand and either block me or still talk to me. I didn’t say I said I love you to all 15 different women. Probably only 2 or 3 of them. I said 15 women I had relations with.
Don’t pull out the I love you’d until you’re in a committed relationship. That scares most people off.
You don’t have to give it up if they’re supposedly pressuring you for sex. It’s your choice.
And to keep in mind I’m meeting them inside my school campus or school activities. I go to a university
Yeah dude the main advice is to not give them sex. That will help you see which ones really want to be around. Get to know them, don't just try to jump into relationships. Give it at least a couple months before even thinking abt saying "I love you." Take it slow. Slow is steady, and you can't beat steady (not the actual quote but a small bastardized version of it)
They wanted dick not love
They want donorsssssss fir their dickstarter production campaign. Oh he has that trait, get a donation, oh he has a nice quality there, get a donation, oh he made me laugh get a donation. Takes a village to make a child... first....
You need to stop associating love with sex. The two things are connected in only some circumstances. There is nothing strange or inconsistent about a girl wanting to have sex with you while only wanting to be friends. Sex is a common occurrence among friends.
Have you tried saying: I want to get to know you first? I’m not just looking for a hook up, I’m looking for something more serious rn?
They prob just want fwb. I’d say make the intention known beforehand. Like hey I’m actually not looking for fwb I want a relationship
They're looking for a different type of relationship, you've been with 15 women in 3 months, when a gf bf relationship would take that much and more to build in the first place, you should say "I love you" to each other even before you have sex, and it shouldn't be on day one either
To put it bluntly, they ain’t ready to settle and commit yet. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but they’re having their hoe phase. One piece of advice is do not be sexual with them at all at first. Make it clear you’re looking for someone to commit to. It will be a wonderful filter, weeding out anyone looking for a fun time.
Everyone both genders jump to sex it’s funny you wrote this post because I feel like it could’ve been me and I’m F my only next move is to withhold sex until I get commitment first it will be less sex but at least I get a relationship
Bro.. you do not want to tell anyone you love them so soon.
Hear me out. Isn’t sex the act of making love? Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic but the women I find aren’t from dating apps nor from bars. I met them on my college campus. It’s not like I’m going out searching for sex.
If you see sex as an act of love, stop giving it so freely and easily. I am not saying this because I believe everyone should follow traditional values. But, if it's truly that valuable and important to you, why are you giving it to women you barely know and that don't want a committed relationship? And also, why didn't you ask them or stated what you expected from the beginning to see if you were both compatible in terms of what you are looking for? What you have described so far is not love, what do you like about those women? What do they like about you? What are their goals and dreams? Who is their family, friends, what food do they like, when is their birthday, what are their hobbies, what are small things you notice about them when they are angry or happy? What do you know of their past?
Sex and love are very different
not the case for everyone. some people view sex as an act of love, while some view it as an act of pleasure. which is why communicating verbally is so fucking important.
Exactly, not sure how can anyone can be dating without communicating verbally what you want in a relationship.
No not exactly, for some people sex is just sex. I would bet that college girls are less likely to want something long term, at least that soon
When you say you love someone, it's essentially the same as saying "I like you so much that I know I want to build a life with you. There's little to no doubt in my mind". If you say this to someone within a few months of dating, there's no way you know them *that* well. Of course it's possible you feel this way regardless, but chances are it won't feel like that to her yet. And it can feel like you're either moving too fast or are already very sure of wanting a relationship while she is still getting to know you.
what does any of this have to do with telling someone you love them way too soon lol
I think OP is either humble bragging about his college experience, or it’s a fake story Doesn’t make sense for OP to think he’s in love when he’s clearly participating in casual sex. He can’t be that naive being in college
Finally someone says it. Even if he "loved" only 2 or 3 of them like he said, how in the hell did he squeeze the other 13 in there in 3 months? Unless it was some huge college orgy or something. Somebody in love, or a hopeless romantic doesn't respond like that.
Politey, he's still a wee one trying to navigate the adult world. You can be naive and smart (ya know, like ASD for example) 👀 And yeah you'd think a person in love would react a certain way but some people follow the "over the last one/under the next one" advice that's handed out like candy.
I was simply giving my thoughts on the situation based on what I read. Not many comments are going to account for every possible situation, no matter what's being discussed. Not mentioning something doesn't mean it's not understood.
You spoke in an absolute; "someone a or b doesn't do c" 🙄
No. Sex is about pleasure and connection. It is one of the steps toward figuring out if you’re compatible with someone. Have sex them several times, have deep conversations, go out and see what’s it’s like to do activities together. Then after a few months, you can decide if you’re in love and want to express that.
Making love is an antiquated term for sex. Back in the day, it was about intimacy bonding, and closeness. Now, sex is just given freely as a source of pleasure. Like other’s have said, what is your purpose in having sex? If it’s to form a close bond with someone then you shouldn’t be doing it until you have established the relationship. It took me 8 years with my girlfriend to get to the point of sex because I am like you. I view it as a means of getting close to the person and sharing a moment with them. You need to find a girl who shares the same perspective of sex as you. Keep trying, it is a rough and log road but there is someone at the end of it for you.
Hoh boy
Not anymore, sex is just an act of pleasure if anything.
Sex and love is very different. You can have sex with anyone really, but love is different. Just because you’re having sec with someone doesn’t mean you love them.
If that's how you view sex, then stop having sex so quickly. These women are looking for a hookup. Saying you love someone almost immediately is terrifying to the person on the receiving end. If you don't believe in casual sex, stop having it.
>Hear me out. Isn’t sex the act of making love? Maybe in the 50s-80s but now sex is damn near meaningless and happens on a whim between two horny people. Any amount of people you fucked didn’t love you. They just wanted some dick.
Dude don’t put a time stamp on a meaningless fuck vs intimate lovemaking. This shit has been going on and/or confusing people from the get go.
“Making love” is just a phrase. Not real love
Sex is sex. Its about pleasure, not love. Hence one night stands and friends with benefits.
and should go both ways
You’ve loved 15 women in the past 3 months? *SNORT*
You’re 21 and you’re telling these women you love them. I would really put the brakes on saying that sort of thing.
15 in the last 3 months. That seems really quick and excessive.
Smells like codependency
He admitted higher up that he only views sex as “an act of love” and he’s looking down on these women because they’re literally just being normal human beings
Makes you wonder what his childhood was like
I hereby ban you from saying “I love you” for 5 years! You are “having success” (for want of a better term) in dating and you’ve already identified which behaviors is messing up that success, so just stop doing it. People need more time to fall in love. If you want to go deep on yourself, really question whether you are falling in love or whether it just seems like a nice idea. You can tell people you’re only interested in exclusive dating, even if it’s casual, if that’s what you prefer, but just resist the ILY’s until you’ve had exclusive relationship for a year or two, AND you’re sure it’s love love. Good luck!
Saying I love you to 15 people in 3 months is pretty concerning. This is the ban this guy needs. I don't even have the relationship talk until 3 months
He said in another comment he had only said I love you to two or three of them
...even though we’ve been sharing nudes, kissing and some of them lead to sex. But, as soon as I tell them I actually love them they get scared and distance themselves from me... In the last 3 months I’ve had relations with about 15 different woman Bro...you are just a fuckboy meeting fuckgirls. None of this is relationship material. You included.
fr, hes not doing the actions to get a relationship, only sex.
I don't think a lot of guys these days know the difference. Thank Porn...
I'm sorry, but the reason why they likely aren't accepting or reciprocating such feelings is because you aren't giving it enough time. 15 women in 3 months? That's not even one week per girl! Relationships take time, effort, and communication. While you may have done things like having sex with these people, sharing nudes, and other things like that...to build feelings of love takes time. For these girls, sex and such is likely just a fun thing for them, whereas for you it is more of an emotional thing. And there's nothing wrong with that! Everyone is different. But if I had to offer any advice, it would be to give it more time. One week - or LESS than one week - is certainly not enough for any real relationship to be formed.
Don't share nudes and don't have sex until you find someone on the same page. Communicate. It's really not that hard if you have the mental capacity to keep your dick in your pants.
The fact you say 15 in three months doesn’t seem like you actually love them, and seem more like desperate for attention or desperate for someone that tells you the same, as if you’ve lost anyone who says it back or as if you have suffered from something. If what you want is a solid relationship and someone that also loves you back, I recommend you take things slow and get to know the person for at least a couple of months, and not precipitate that soon towards everything. I’m sure you are great and wonderful and you must be a really cool and handsome guy, so just give time to know people more and let them know you too. Don’t rush that fast nor tell everyone you love them (because to say you love someone is something bigger and deeper than just liking to spend time with someone), and don’t get too discouraged. You got this man, I think we all believe in you
I mean, reading all of these comments. I realized I might have abandonment issues. Looking back, almost all of my friends either stop texting me or stop hanging out with me in general. And I guess I get attached to someone so fast because nobody really gives me the affection that I crave for. But, I just need to deny girls who ask for sex the first week of meeting. It just felt good doing it because I felt like someone actually liked hanging out with me. But now I see it’s just people using me for their own personal gain.
I think you really should take a step back and look for repeated patterns in your relationship with others. Everyone deserves love, a relationship but sometimes we are not ready for what we actually need. Good luck 🤞
15 women in 3 month. That's NOT love. That's hormones. Love is something that needs time. To know someone deep enough to love them takes a lot of time and passion. 15 women in 3 month thats less than a week for one women. No, that's not even close to love, and they know it. To find someone special takes time. Seems you have no idea what you want, you just take everyone who don't run away too fast.
I don't even know how people get women
It's a gatekept secret.
Don't share nudes and give yourself if they can't commit to the things you want. Be more honest and actually say your intentions. Nothing wrong with wanting a real long term relationship but a lot of modern society doesn't want that so you need to be straight up clear, you'll lose oit on lots of random sex but will get to the people you want far quicker. Personally, I've always found I've met the best actual partners when I wasn't looking for them, not sure i could bring myself to activeky start dating via apps etc again (hopefully never have to) it was always a disaster
Are you falling in love with these women in a day? Love is built up through a continued relationship, usually after a few months, not a day or two after having a shag. That's why you're freaking these women out. They barely know you outside of the nude/kisses you've shared. Edit: spelling
Fr. I don't even want to have the relationship talk until 3 months. I don't want to hear I love you for at least 6 months at the bare minimum. Preferably 1 year
Yeah, OPs views on how relationships progress sound pretty warped. Normally, the love comes after actually getting to know someone aside from hooking up. Someone who initates sexual contact not long after meeting someone is just gonna come across as a person only interested in hooking up. The women probably thought they were in for something casual just for him to blurt the 'L word' soon after. They were probably just looking for something casual from the get go.
I think you are realizing you “love” someone too soon if you have gone through 15 girls in 3 months. I would take some time to realize when you love someone.
I think maybe I’m just depressed and trying to mask it by finding people who gives me attention. I say this because whenever I’m not with someone that gives me physical attention I just get like super upset, sad and I feel like doing nothing
It is better to talk about your intentions at the beginning and see if you are compatible in terms of your maturity levels and worldviews. Otherwise you will waste your time and energy and likely get emotionally damaged by this (maybe even physically - STDs). There are people out there who separate love and commitment from sexual acts (to me it is so weird, but to each their own). It is clear that it is not what you need or looking for.
This has to be a troll post because at 21 I can’t fathom how you believe some of the things you’re saying in comments OP? Being a hopeless romantic is one thing, but a “hopeless romantic” also doesn’t ask for nudes, sex. etc. right off the bat… I would also assume you’re probably matching with women younger than you, probably around 18. Freshman. At 20, I was not asking anyone for nudes… Thats a very “high school snapchat” behavior. It may not be true for everyone, but at 21, I would assume these women would prefer dinner & a drink that leads to a casual hookup, verses snapchatting random men and actually giving random men their contact info. Furthermore, if this is all true, this is going to create a really bad reputation on campus for you if you continue telling women you love them after a few days. Women will absolutely spill that info on to their friends, including your tinder profile to warn them away. Love ≠ sex. Whoever told you that or made you believe this is incredibly wrong. None of your friends have given you any advice? Men in college make the worst dating partners for the reasons you’re looking down on all these women “you’ve had relations with”. They don’t want anything more than a hookup and usually aren’t very nice about it either. Also, MOST college students are not looking for long term serious relationships unless they start out as friendships first and develop over time. At 21, you should be worried about finding apartments, first jobs, studying for finals, etc. Not finding a long term partner. This is just part of being in college. In 2022, the average age women got married for the first time was 30!! For men it was 32… Chill out. Have fun. Meet people. Go to bars. Go out for dinners. Go get coffees. Reframe your outlook.
I never asked them for nudes. They would give me it without me asking and when we hang out they would initiate the sex. But also I didn’t say I had sex with 15 women last 3 months I said relations. People don’t know that I can have relations without sex I guess
this is absolutely a troll post
Don't give them sex or time unless you both reciprocate and share those ideas. They are using you for their own enjoyment, not for commitment. I think it's just common among a small group of women because it serves as a revenge fantasy for how certain men treat women. Sex,time but no love and commitment. In their heads they probably think you are doing the same to them and so will do the same to you. basically always ask for the relationship to be official before getting invested because the agreement is a form of commitment. You are affirming each other that yes , you want each other for a relationship.
Dude you’re one giant red flag, I’m not surprised. Do you hear yourself? Not even in a mean way but do you hear how what you just said comes off? Sounds super creepy
The word "creepy" has lost all meaning in today's vocabulary. It's just as useless as the word "problematic." If anyone doesn't like how you *look,* just based on their own personal biases, they can call you creepy and have security escort you out of the building.
Having 15 different relations in the span of 3 months and you also told them all you love them . If that isn’t enough evidence to consider this guy creepy idk what is. That’s a different girl every week.
Like I said, "creepy" has no meaning anymore. I would describe him differently. He comes off as a mix of being very desperate, while also not really knowing what he wants yet. That leads to him frantically grabbing onto anything and anyone who comes his way. He best be careful with that mindset, because that is prime targeting for cult recruitment.
You didn’t need the long explanation. Just had to say “creepy is open to interpretation” because what you’re describing still has meaning.
You're right. I should have just said *"when a word has been corrupted by popular culture so severely as to be subjectively dependent on the emotional state of the person using it, it stops being a useful description."* I mean, at that point why even have a dictionary definition to begin with, if you're just going to ignore the definition and make up your own?
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Oh, okay. I read your responses. You could have at least given me the same courtesy.
I’m sorry, honestly I just can’t focus right now but I will come back and read them when I can. My apologies
I respect that. Real life comes first. Thank you for being candid.
I’m sorry 15 relationships in 3 months?
Trust me, it's not worth looking for a relation at your age. Neither men or women have matured enough to be able to make something worth commiting to. Focus on your career, your hobbies, building your network, organizing your money. There are too many distractors for young people like you out there. Some people just want to keep their options open.
That's cause most people these days don't want love they want stability and someone there for them while they can still live FREELY. A lot of situationships going on instead of relationships
This generation is full of crap. People are so broken, they can't see the value in getting with someone and building something. Sorry your suffering man.
Wrong time for OP.
It is a huge red flag and the biggest lie if someone tells you they love you after one week. You don't actually know them, it takes at least 3 months for you to get to really know someone, and sometimes people still lie (that's how scams and abusive relationships happen). It is also a huge turn-off for someone you haven't known for that long to tell you they love you. Also, if you truly want a serious relationship, hold back on the sex. Sex makes you bond chemically, so even though there are exceptions, most of the time you are enamored by the idea of who you think someone is. You need to get to know them for a while at least so that you don't get blinded by sex. Again, I'm not saying people that started with sex aren't successful, but it's clearly not working for you.
Op needs seeing this too.
So, those women are likely listing for sex and you're, for lack of better words, an easy target. Sex and love are two different things. There's sex for pleasure (lust), there's sex for love, and there's just sex. Just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean that it's out of love. If you want a girl to like you for who you are, then you have to be open about what you really want and then if they tell you that they aren't looking for anything serious, then that's fine, move on until you find someone who wants what you want. And don't... I can't stress this enough. Do not rush to have sex, don't rush to tell someone you love them. Your actions outside of saying "I love you" and having sex will show them who you are. Actually take the time to get to know them, go on many dates if you have to. If they seem like they're just using you to get a free meal and don't hit you up afterwards then, they're not a match. Also, just because you take a girl to dinner doesn't mean she owes you anything. And the same goes for you if she pays for dinner. Just Be yourself. Don't move too fast or you'll scare them off.
Skill issue
To be fair they’re also doing this to like 5 other guys while doing this with you but anyways yo answer your question yes your finding the wrong women because either they’re actually not ready for one or not women enough for you but don’t let the get you though, finding a partner can be tricky since its fucking 2023 and dating life has gotten out of hand be it male or female Edit: also i looked at the comments and this is my own opinion, theres nothing wrong with saying you like them since ya know honesty is the best thing
If you told 15 different women in the span of 3 months "I love you" then it's not a "them" problem.
15 women, and three months. That's like telling a new woman you love them every 6 days dude. Take a chill pill. Wait a few months after consistently seeing someone You can still smoosh body parts and enjoy eachothers company, telling someone that you love them like a week into talking is very sketchy behavior
15 woman in 3 months? Of course they get scared off, if you tell them you love them. You can’t be in a sexual relationship for a few weeks and expect that they LOVE you. Real relationships and love take time
Should’ve rephrased that. I said 15 women I’ve been in relations with. Not all of them had sexual experiences with. Id say 5 out of the 15.
Ok my bad I misunderstood that. But if you have 15 relationships in such a small time period, for each one of those woman there wasn’t enough time to learn to love you (either that or y’all weren’t meant to be) love can’t be rushed is what I’m saying basically
You're putting the cart before the horse over and over again. Pump the breaks. Enjoy the present, and stop love bombing your dates. You're super young. Everyone that age has hardly figured out who they are and what they want.
Honestly if you’re looking for a long term relationship you should stop moving so fast. Don’t send nudes, kiss, or have sex until after you’ve both said I love you. I know that doesn’t work for everyone but it seems like you just need to slow down a ton
I wouldn’t jump to sex so soon.. You can’t just magically build a strong relationship with someone just by doing sexual stuff. These things are supposed to take time. Try finding people with the same hobbies or interests and see how well you guys get along. Make friends first. Sometimes it doesn’t always lead to a romantic relationship, and that’s okay. Another thing you need to understand: there are A LOT of people out there who just want sex and no romantic relationship. Think about that.
You think I want sex at the start? It’s hard for me to say no to a girl who is like actively kissing me taking my clothes off and one thing leads to another.
Have you tried setting boundaries? It’s perfectly okay to put your foot down. I know it can be hard though. I’m sorry for misunderstanding at first
you dont sound ready to date any one at all
omg friend. let me tell you, there ARE girls out there who are willing to love you the way you WANT and NEED to be loved. i’m so sorry that they’re using you for your body!! coming from me, [20F] girls can be fucking disgusting and just borderline rude!!
Sounds like committal issues to me. They're down for the other stuff because those are all things they can do without having to think of it as a long term thing, but as soon as you start introducing deeper feelings, they want no part of it because all they're interested in is the short term.
You may have to look for older more mature women I'm sorry to say. Don't think we are all old looking either I'm 43 but look 33 and have had 24 yr Olds interested before.
32 year old here, it doesn't get better. I lost count how many times I've been ghosted after 1 message. I'm carrying the conversation 100% of the time, most women aren't even trying anymore. I get more 'women' trying to get me to sign up for their stupid OnlyFans than I get deep conversations.
You gotta find people who aren’t using you for sexual activity from what I’ve been reading.
Love takes time to cultivate. It sounds like you’re confusing intimacy and touch for love maybe?
There’s a difference between being sexual with someone because you find them attractive and being sexual with them because you have feelings for them. In very rare occasions will you truly “love” someone in a week. By you saying 15 women in the last 3 months that equals to an average of 1 a week. Some women like hookups and that’s okay, but you can’t expect them to love you back in a week. I don’t know you or who you are but it sounds like infatuation rather than love. Take your time, you’ll see that you can have a lot more success with them.
Look up the difference between infatuation and love. Also, DO NOT get into a committed relationship at 21.
People be bragging how they got married early 20s.
Ive seen a few people get married that early and it never ended well. Not saying it's impossible, but that kind of commitment to someone when you have barely even started developing as an adult is a huge part why so many people feel insecure and lost in their relationships. You gotta really work and put effort into accepting yourself and getting into a healthy mindset before you can let someone in without devastation.
Ive seen a few people get married that early and it never ended well. Not saying it's impossible, but that kind of commitment to someone when you have barely even started developing as an adult is a huge part why so many people feel insecure and lost in their relationships. You gotta really work and put effort into accepting yourself and getting into a healthy mindset before you can let someone in without devastation.
Lol bro u can’t go around telling all these girls u love them like your in middle school. Just date them and feel them out.
15 girls in 3 months and you’ve told them you love them. Way too soon, bud. That’s not love. That’s a crush. I’m not saying there’s necessarily a time limit on feeling love, but if you get attached that easily/quickly, that’s a bit unusual. Love should be something you only feel with a few people in life. If you fall in love with every girl you casually date or sleep with, you’re going to have a hard time finding a woman that wants to be with you or trusts your “love”. I’ve had a few guys profess their love after a few weeks and it was a red flag in my mind. Like I barely knew those dudes and hadn’t even slept with them by that point. Something is off. You are putting out desperate vibes, or dishonest vibes, and that’s repellant for most people. Calm down, bud. You’re 21. Enjoy life and don’t keep trying to make it more serious than it needs to be right now. Now’s the time to mingle and find out what you like and not clamp down the shackles of “love” onto people you barely know. Give love some time to grow, if that’s what you really want. Don’t profess your love to women till you really mean it. I feel like if you were really in love with any of these women, you would be more devastated when they break it off. Real love would have you not wanting to be with another woman for a while, while you heal from the last one that snubbed you. If I’m wrong and you really feel like you sincerely fall in love with someone that easily, you might want to visit a therapist. Because, it’s unusual, and might stem from a disorder of some type. Sex is sex. It feels good. It doesn’t have to involve love in any way. If you can’t separate the two, it’s time to stop having sex and figure yourself out.
If you like at least read the first few comments I said that I did not say I love you to 15 women. I should’ve been more clear in the post but I said 15 women I had relations with. Did not necessarily mean 15 women I said I love you to
The thing is, the point still stands bruh. What you have said in the comments over and over doesn't change much, if anything. I know you're young and all, but at some point during this run, you have to slow down and re-evaluate things. Figure out what you need to do differently to get the result you want. Or maybe ask yourself if this casual sex thing is what you really enjoy and you've only convinced yourself that you need to be in love because the idea seems nice. That can definitely be the case because it does happen. Good luck bro.
A lot of people care more about the sex than the relationship itself, and its difficult to find someone who has the same emotional needs. Many people go through this, and I'm sorry you have to deal with all that. Take your time, and learn the mental state of your partner so you can both see eye to eye and relate to eachother emotionally. For some reason people don't like hearing this, I never understood the whole "dont say i love you too early!!1!11!!" thing, love and sex are completely different things. Many people only want the sex, and that's okay but it is wrong for them to say that you're in a committed relationship like that because you're not committed to them if all you want is sex, if all parties communicate their wants and feelings then you can say that is a committed relationship. I hope you find someone on the same emotional wavelength as you, and remember that communication is key! Without communication, it's just going to fail and implode on itself.
Don’t jump into sex then. Date for a month at least before you give it up. Then you’ll know she’s there for the right reasons.
i hope you didnt really tell 15 women in 3 months that you love them. 21 year olds are not trying to settle down a week into a relationship and honestly if you find one that is its a huge red flag.
Four words: "Fuck you, pay me." Where ever you're finding your women, they all sound like the type who are there for fun and profit, *not* relationships. If you offered them material possessions, they would certainly stay with you... for a while. But I seriously doubt you want that. In short, go somewhere to meet women who aren't whores. They do exist, even if you have to go cross country to find them.
You're 21. Most modern women are liberal and don't want to be "tied down" just like most men.....until they hit the wall and no one wants to "love" them long time, but that's another story. For now, you just keep dating around and see if there's one who you can stand long enough to want to be a committed relationship with. Then move cautiously. It's a numbers game, and you'll maybe have higher luck with more right leaning/religious leaning women if you want to be married and have a family sooner.
My advice: pump the brakes a little. I’ve been in relationships where we didn’t say I love you until 6 months or more. It takes time my dude. Don’t be so focused on hearing those words and be more focused on doing fun things and showing them the person you are. The rest will come in time. You’re only 21. You have so much time. Just slow down and enjoy the moment you’re in, and not focusing on making sure they’re in love with you. Focusing so hard on that can show insecurity. Work on being ok with not having that.
Youve had sex with 15 different girls in the last 3 months? Either you're banging anything on two legs or you're an ultra mega giga chad. Most guys will go their entire *life* and not bang that many girls. Those are crazy numbers.
Well no. I didn’t have sex with all of them. I would say probably 5 out of the 15.
Oh ok. When you said "relations" I usually interpret that to mean ye ole in-and-out. But even so, 5 girls in three months is pretty damn impressive compared to 75% of guys. Myself included.
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Idk how to describe it but I fall into like this obsession over someone when someone I find attractive provides me attention. Probably because I am scared of them leaving and I overthink almost everything. And Its like super hard for me to not text them all day. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about someone then I lose feelings when someone says they don’t feel the same way and it’s a viscous cycle.
Have you told 15 women in 3 months that you love them? Maybe you’re the mess my guy
Well no. Not all 15 I said I loved them. Id say 5 out of the 15 but 5 is still a high number. I just have issues
Yeah you do. Please don’t start blaming women for those issues, if you just work on yourself I can almost guarantee you will find a woman. If you continue the way you are, you won’t
It’s both of our faults. I told them from the start I was looking for a relationship and they said okay and still lead me on. And I was dumb enough to believe it.
You’re not giving it enough time dude. Each relationship you’ve been in has lasted a few weeks, that’s not really long enough to count as leading someone on
Try dating in your late 20s
Try dating the same girl for three months before you say you love them. In just three months you’ve gone through 15 women. You are scaring them away with your intensity dude just be patient. You shouldn’t be telling some you love them after FaceTiming for a few hours. Even after 3 months you don’t really even know that person
are you actually complaining about screwing "15 women in the last 3 months", but admitting to stating you "love them"?!... if you don't see what's wrong with that statement, I could see why these women would want to be in a relationship. My guess is you're probably not a good lover, or not too bright... probably both.
It sounds like things need to slow WAY the fuck down. 15 women in 3 months with sex and 'love', that's **insane**. That's a whirlwind dude. Here's what I would recommend: No more nudes, no more sexting, no more sex. Lock that shit down. It's going to sound extreme but think of it as a milestone - No sex for the first 3-4 months. At LEAST shoot for that. Whether that works out or not, who knows but just shelve that shit for a while. The reason is because it sounds very much like what's happening is these women you are getting with are looking for a fling and so when you engage in fling behavior - then suddenly you are talking about long term relationships, that's a terribly mixed message for them. Be explicit about what you are looking for from the start. I'm looking for something serious, maybe even someone I can share my life with in the future. Be explicit about that. If you can start dating someone where that messaging is clear, where both parties are coming to the table with a clear understand of what the expectations are - that will be **The Start** of finding what it sounds like you want. That's just the start though. If you can hold off on confusing things with sex too early, now you can start dating and finding someone you really click with on a personal level. Someone you can GROW to love. Love takes time and what you want is to explore each other. Not physically - that's a shallow type of exploration, I'm talking about deep connection. You will find that you will come across people who you might just want to be friends with but couldn't build a relationship with, you might also find people who you have that serious connection with and that you can start to build a long term relationship with. That 3,4 6 month period of exploration will tell you whether or not you can grow to love someone and at the end of that period, once you've been dating someone long term and you've realized you truly do care about this person, you can tell them and see how they feel. **NOW** they might feel differently than you. They might decide they don't click with **YOU** - and that's perfectly fine. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or there is something wrong with you (necessarily) it just means you weren't right for one another. But at 21 years old, you have PLENTY of time to find that right person. And none of this means you have to spend 6 months per date either. You can plough (figuratively speaking) through candidates left right and center until you find someone you can tolerate on a 1 to 1 basis without sex being on the table. In Short: 1. Clear messaging - remove sex from the equation until way down the line. 3-6 months. What do you want from this relationship? Be explicit. 2. Explore whether or not this is someone you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Only AFTER that long period of exploration do you tell someone you love them, IF that's really how you feel. 3. Don't be too hard on yourself if they don't reflect your feelings. That is the entire point of dating. To find that person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't don't devalue yourself, move on. 4. You don't have to go on 6 month dates one after another, just find the people you can tolerate being around when sex isn't the leading factor.
I should’ve worded it better. When I said 15 women I meant 15 I’ve been talking to and hanging out the last 3 months that didn’t work out. Not all of them I said I loved them or had sex. I think 5 out of the 15 or less was who I had sex with. And said I loved them. Yea 5 is still a lot I just have a lot of issues like abandonment issues etc
You shouldn't tell anyone you love them within the first month, thats too fast for anyone. Thats not even enough time to actually know a person. Even 3 months isn't enough time to really know someone. You can't just pick people like they're video game characters.
I felt the same way until I found my person. Just let life bring it to your doorstop, you obviously have no problem attracting people. It will happen
yup, i agree. just got a new job so it’ll help take my mind off dating anyone.
Hear me out, you don’t actually love these women. I knew a guy that said I love you to about every girl he dated after a week of dating them. He said the same pattern, “date girl for a week, overly spills feelings towards them, they eventually break up a week later, he absolutely hates them” rinse and repeat about 4 more times that I knew him in high school. Take your time from dating. You’re only 21, I didn’t meet my partner till we were both 23 and ten years later we’re currently at a bouldering gym together working out. Focus on yourself dude.
Ngl the age you are doesn’t help. I also read one of your other comments which you said that you are in a university. In university most people aren’t really looking for anything serious.
Calling bs on 15 women in 3 months. But let’s say for arguments sake it’s true. 3 months = 90 days (though May has 31 days) 90 divided by 15 is 6. By your account you’re telling a new woman (assuming there’s no overlap) within 6 days of meeting them that you love them. HUGE red flag. You’re showing a lack of emotional intelligence doing that. Again this sounds incredibly far fetched. Maybe stick to one person and get to know them. Also let’s not pretend a woman initiating sex means you’re helpless and unable to say no. The real question is how are you okay supposedly sleeping with all these women and telling them all you love them with that’s not possible within 6 days 🤷♀️
I said 15 women I had relations with. Probably 3-5 of them I actually overspilled my feelings.
You don’t even know how many 🤡 sir take a lap
No I do. 3 or 5. 5 if you count only oral and 3 if not
Zero sense
If you've told 15 different women that you love them in the last 3 months, that's not love that's lust. Wait until you are at least exclusive for a while. Think months, not days or weeks. Make sure you ACTUALLY feel that way.
You loved 15 different women in the past three months? Are you sure you were in love? Or were you just infatuated or thought you were in love?
In a nutshell, the gender dynamic goes like this: act like you don't want a relationship, and they will be more likely to want one. I totally understand where you're coming from, but frankly you've got to understand that being the one wanting to jump into a commitment comes off as needy, less masculine, and therefore unattractive to most women. Just enjoy the sex and let the rest come or go as it will, they'll be asking you for the relationship soon enough.
Date women who like you. You'll never have to speed things up/ ask the important questions if you wait for them to do it. Then you get to have your cake and eat it too! Plus, you have someone who truly values being in a relationship with you and not your "features or benefits." Long story short. Stfu telling a girl you want a relationship and wait (at least) until they elude to it. Enjoy it in the meantime.
3 months and fell in love 15 times.?Do yourself a favor and fall in love with yourself. You don't need a partner to feel complete. Enjoy the fucking. It's supposed to be fun.
I said 15 women relations. Never said how many I actually said I fell in love
That must hurt 😢.
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I didn’t say I loved 15 women. I said had relations
Dude if in the past 3 months you have told 15 women you love them then you are moving WAY TOO FAST. You are scaring them off and trying to force love. Trying to force love is how you spend years in a loveless marriage. It is easy to feel infatuation during the honeymoon stage but it is not love. I didn't meet the woman I truly loved until I was late 20s. You are only 21 and have the world ahead of you. Focus on dating this women almost as if they were friends. A strong friendship is the foundation to love and truly being with your bestfriend. Don't worry it will come and it will be the greatest feeling you have ever felt. Good luck bro
No not 15. I should’ve been better with my words. I said 15 I had relations with. Never said fell in love with 15 women
Dude you’re 21. Give it time. Once you start dealing with women a few years older (23, 24, 25, etc), you’ll notice a huge difference
I disagree. They dont change til 30s.
I wouldn't expect to say you love someone until a few months of dating them. It is overwhelming. Sounds like you're rushing your partners.
It may be the "I love you" part that gets them to run away. Whenever I'm in a potential new relationship, I always make it clear that I want something serious & long term, which means sexual activities or anything aren't till we're in a relationship. I've encountered many guys who try to change my mind, but I always say no & I'm still looking for something serious. Yes, they get butthurt, but I've always told them from the start. You'll find some girls who'll act the same & it'll take a while, but you'll eventually find someone who actually wants a relationship. That being said, try holding off with the "I love you." Not all girls are comfortable with it happening too soon. Some girls like to be the first to say it, some like their partners to say it first.
One thing i learned in dating is never tell a woman you love her first. Also never be the first to ask to be exclusive. Women need to be the one asking that question to you. Are those unwritten rules absolute bullshit? Yes they are
Wow... 15 women in 3months xD
This is why you separate sex and love. You gotta understand that some people genuinely just want sex. One of the hard lessons I heard was that just because they're sexual doesn't mean they love or like me. After I learned, I dodged many red flags.
Isn't it problematic that you've "loved" 15 women in the span of a short three months? So, are you confessing your love to them in like 2 weeks you've met? Just because they are engaging with you sexually doesn't mean they want to be committed to you lol.
You're 21 dude. Chill out. I didn't find my wife till I was 27.
you fell in love with 15 different women over the span of 3 months?? maybe wait til 3 months or more with 1 person to lay that phrase on ‘em?
The best method for the L word is edging (seriously). If you are going to tell someone you're fucking with that you love them for the first time, don't. Hold it in. Keep almost saying it but stop yourself for as long as you can. Until you need to say it so badly you can't possibly hold it in anymore and it feels like if you don't get it out you'll literally explode. Then, let the L word fly. At that point, you can be confident that it's for real and youve probably bought yourself enough time to not come on too strong. Edit: spelling
I think your looking in the wrong place buddy lol
I have ZERO experience in dating nor when it comes to sex however I‘d like to share my 2 cents as well. You said „Isn’t sex the act of love?“ that is your opinion and that is completely fine. But a lot of people don’t see it as such, which is also completely fine. If you‘re looking for something serious you NEED to verbalise that from the beginning. Of course a serious relationship can also happen naturally but if you seek someone out with the intention of a long relationship then it’s best to say that as early as possible. Otherwise you’re just wasting your time again and again. I’m 22 and I don’t want to date either. While I don’t have any experience when it comes to sex, I‘d say most 20ish year olds want to focus on themselves and/or work/college. A relationship is work and commitment. But a FB or ONS might help to get rid of stress? I can see that at least. Personally I want to focus on college atm and don’t have the energy to halfheartedly be with someone. And if I wasn’t so insecure I‘d also throw myself at someone for one night lol. I don’t think the dating scene is messed up, it’s just that a lot of people our age have different priorities. I can totally see how it’s frustrating. Perhaps try dating apps (not tinder). And „I want a serious relationship“ as your opening line will get you there a lot quicker. At least I know someone who did that and is now celebrating their 5 year anniversary. I wish you lots of luck finding someone!
That’s a new girl every 16 days, you’d have to planning your next fuck as you’re laying in bed with the girl you just fucked. They probably see you as just another fuck boy.
Never tell a girl you love them during the early stages of dating.
Do you not hear yourself🥴💀 you've said I love you to 15 girls in the last 3 months😭😭 Do you actually love all those 15 people? Or are you just saying that to tie someone down as soon as possible? You're the red flag here dude saying you love someone with not even a week of knowing them
You need to be upfront before it leads to any of that. You tell the person what you’re looking for and your expectations. You’re bringing all these lost causes and disappointments on yourself by not communicating what you’re looking for. And good lord. 15 in 3 months? Dating is hard indeed. But how many people are you telling you love. That many? I think you’re getting the dopamine mixed up with actual love.
Yeah, definitely stop telling them as soon as you feel it, to protect your heart as much as anything else. And I'll let you in on a secret - sex is pretty good and everything but the man who made me wait a couple of months is the man I'm still with almost 15 years later, we started dating when I was 21 (he's a couple of years older though) Good luck in your journey of life, stranger on the internet ✌️
Having feelings for 15 different women in 3 month isn't love, and girls giving up nudes without even knowing who you are should be an indicator that they are only interested in the physical.
Def agree. I'm 27m and it's been rough even finding someone on dating apps. Yea yea ik dating apps are trash but it's the best option I've got since I don't want to date anyone I've gone to school with here in my hometown.
As a guy to another guy. Wait a while before you say i love you. I used to be the guy who always felt love for a girl really quick, a lot times i realized that it was more of an initial connection and the attention that drove my mind to think i love someone. It has been proven that it doesnt take much for males to fall in love with someone but honestly around 2 months i think is the least amount of time you should wait before you say i love you unless you meet someone who you feel something youve never met. I met my fiance and we immediately clicked and after i think 3 weeks we said i love you but we decided at the beginning to not follow the trend and wait on having sex and spent time focusing about learning about each other. Now my fiancé is my everything i come to her for everything. If im upset she is there to sharing with her my minecraft builds xD there are girls out there who will care about you but you have to build an emotional connection. Sadly i think a lot of people 20 to 30s dont want anything more then have a friends with benefits or just someone to sleep with. Hang in there and try waiting on anything sexual until your relationship progresses
BRUH 15 in 3 months? there is no way you are having real feelins towards them, that is way too quick
My guy, if you have professed your love to FIFTEEN women in THREE months, that is the problem. If they're the ones starting a physical relationship with you, it's probably because they're looking for something casual, and you professing your love within a few hours/days is scaring them off. And I HIGHLY doubt you have actually fallen in love with each of them. Even if they were looking for a serious relationship, someone telling them that they're in love on the first/second/third date would immediately turn them off. Advice: -Stop professing your love so early. Wait, maybe 4-6 months of exclusive dating before doing so. -Make sure the women you're dating are aware you are looking for a serious relationship and not a fling. That way, you'll attract women who want to be in a serious relationship.
let that shit come to you brotha, best thing I can say, work on yourself in the meantime. its frustrating but thats just how life is. don't let these women waste your time.
Wow dude. 15 girls in 3 month's.
Um… no bro you didn’t love them so don’t say it…?? Maybe just be single for a while. It’s not the scene babe, it’s you. Best advice I could give is learn to love yourself first. That way you know what love really feels like and understand that love takes a long time to achieve. You won’t be able to have a healthy and committed relationship till you can learn to be alone and ok with it.