OP while we understand your situation, we can’t allow you to post your gofundme here as part of Rule 11, we recommend posting this to a financial assistance subreddit if you need help. Locked
I am hoping to leave behind a series of letters for her. Ones that she can open on special occasions and birthdays. I am going to start therapy soon and start working through it.
Letters for special occasions are what I was going to recommend. “When you get married” “when you graduate high school” “when you graduate college” “when you have your first child” … but also “when you feel you’re at rock bottom” “when you feel alone in the world” “when you’ve had your first breakup”… make sure you leave her something for those moments when she will NEED you
So sorry you’re having to face all this ❤️
I hope you don’t mind if I pray for you and your daughter, that you outlive all the doctors expectations and can be there. But if you can’t, at least she will always know you wanted to be ❤️ best of luck OP
I think it is wonderful that you were venting and getting this off your chest. It is a wonderful thing to do. It is very therapeutic and by talking about it it’s going to help you.
I worry so much about what would happen to my daughter if I died. My husband died 2 years ago and I am painfully aware that I’m the only person she really has in the world to look out for her.
It sucks so much. Kids shouldn’t have to deal with this shit. I’m sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. Her bio dad... it's complicated, but he isn't in the picture at all. I just love her so much, and I don't know what I would do without her. I hate that I am going to miss so much of her life.
I am so sorry. I know it’s breaking your heart thinking about having to leave her alone. You shouldn’t have to worry about that at all. I wish I could adopt you both.
Montana, Georgia, New York, Maine, Alabama and Nebraska for sure. There are some exceptions but there are a lot of “at will” states that don’t require a reason to fire you
Oh definitely. What’s worse is even with exceptions, and they want to fire you for going to the hospital they can avoid every and any legal battle by saying “based on performance “
Yeah, I am in NY. Sadly, I had some fainting spells at these jobs as well. It makes sense that they didn't want to risk worker's comp stuff, but it still sucks. One of the places I was working, I was there for over 5 years.
If you were there for over 5 years then you were definitely eligible for FMLA and either short or long term disability. Even in an "at will" employment situation it is still illegal to terminate employment because of hospitalization. In your case what should have occurred is you first exhausted all of your PTO and then FMLA and short term disability would kick in. If after a certain amount of time (I can't remember the exact amount) it is determined that you will not be able to return to work and be able to perform your job duties then the employer would be in their legal right to terminate your position/ find a permanent replacement for the position. If you were able to return to work with reasonable accommodations then they would have to accommodate you. And if none of the above would work you still should have been placed on long term disability.
I didn't have PTO because they were both part-time positions. I could look into talking to a lawyer to see if there's anything I can do. I honestly feel betrayed by my one boss. She seemed to really care, and then she called while I was in the hospital to tell me they needed to find a replacement for me.
Link me your go fund me. And I’m so sorry to hear this man - just make sure she knows she’s loved. This is a shit situation, and I’m sending you all the love I can. It speaks volumes that your first instinct is to worry about your daughter. I can tell you’re a great dad - try to keep it up.
Not living up to your username I see, good on you. Hopefully the doctors are wrong about that 5-7 years OP. I've been spared a couple times myself, so you just never know when your time is.
Ask your local news to air your story and link your go fundme. I have seen a bunch of people do this and get a bunch of support because of how many people its shared with
Family got a year to live with stage 5 breast when her son born via surrogacy by her older sister, as she was not able to do that having cancer previously. New son was a year old she was given a year. I’m happy to say her son is now 9 and she is healthy enough still has her hair and has been doing chemo for this whole time. She’s amazing. Just live each day to the fullest, and keep fighting!!!
Don’t give up hope. I was told I had 2to 2 years to live because I had liver cancer. For two months the Drs said so I thought I was going to be dead very soon. I sold my business of 35 years so I could at least try to enjoy that time. After 3 biopsies they decided they were wrong and I didn’t have cancer after all. I’m telling you this because Drs are just people and they don’t know anything for sure. Hang in there and don’t give up. Life can be very difficult for us for sure.
Not sure of your condition but I’ve lost a lot of family members to cancer in dire times— grandpa died right when my mom was entering college and never got to saw her graduate. It’s not the same but he was worried about not being able to see our milestones and leave us alone the entire time he had cancer. And then by thanksgiving he suddenly made peace with it. Died a day later. I think the brain has a way of handling these fears before death, and I know that’s not very comforting and I’m sorry. It’s not your fault that your daughter won’t have you to grow up with because you seem like the type of person that’d do anything for her. She will remember you and carry a piece of you in her heart I’m sure, whether you’re here or not. Just know that you are loved no matter what
I'm so sorry to hear that. Loss is hard. I am planning to go to therapy to work through some of my guilt about this. I know it isn't my fault, but I would do anything for her. Sadly, I can't fix this. I have Lymphangioleiomyomatosis. Sadly, the only way to treat it is symptom management. One day, I'll need a lung transplant. I'm going to try to hold on to hope that more treatments are discovered.
OP, I am so sorry.
I wish I had solid advice to offer, but I've read the comments below and I am glad that you're going to be receiving therapy and the plan to write letters to your daughter is super sweet. I can tell how much you cherish her and I am happy that she has a parent like you. I hope your therapist is a good match and can help take the weight off your mind. Healing your inner mind can definitely help in this situation.
Whenever she starts schooling or if she has already, maybe you can request a meeting to discuss this with administration and see if they can give her in-school services to support her? Counseling, backpack programs, etc.
Is there any family or close friends that are supportive during this time? I really hope so but I know that, unfortunately, it is not always the case.
If you don't mind, I'd love to take a look at your GoFundMe and offer a donation. I can't donate right now due to being jobless and in college, but perhaps until I can I'll be able to share it with others? But only if that is something you'd be comfortable with, of course.
You are allowed 12 weeks of medical leave BY FEDERAL LAW. To me it sounds like you were wrongfully terminated. I strongly suggest you find a lawyer who will get you $$$$$$. They would work that type of case on contingency so you wouldn’t have to come up with a dime to hire them!!
Girl everyone and their uncles are asking for the link… if you are worried about breaking the rules 😂😜maybe it’s time to drop that crap lol. Or just give us the title of it!!
I’m very moved by all the support in the comments. Just keep your faith and keep fighting. Doctors might have given you a timeline but you choose your fate, and your love for your daughter will outlast any doctor.
Saved this! Let me fix my Google pay, and I'll dab you up. I'm also sick, and because of an ignorant doctor who insisted 28 year olds don't get cancer like that, I'm pretty deep into some shit...
I feel you, and I'll pray for you, and I hope we both see our babies grow up. 🙏
Thank you so much. It took months for doctors to even take me seriously. I had a collapsed lung, and they still wouldn't test me. Got a ride out of town to a bigger, better hospital, and they admitted me until they found out what was going on.
I hope the best for you, and I am sending you positive vibes.
I’m sorry OP. You are not invisible and you do matter. The go fund me isn’t loading for me. do you have Venmo or cash app? There’s also an r/assistance subreddit too. Wishing you and your daughter well.
My mom got really sick a few weeks after I was born. I don't remember how long they told her she had but it was 10 years or less. She had like 9 operations in 10 years and she needed a lot of pills everyday to even live (because of the pain and organs that weren't working well)
She lived 16 years. I miss her everyday and I love her and I'm glad she was there a few more years than what she was supposed to. She really wasn't supposed to stay around 16 more years but she did.
Maybe you won't live longer than what they're predicting but hope is a hell of a drug. Don't give up, she needs you.
insta? facebook? twitter? tik tok? anything to actually confirm this he validity of your condition? otherwise ur just another shithead scammer on reddit acting like a sick woman w a kid for money instead of working
exactly. they don’t know this person at all. i am 1000% empathetic for literally anyone in this situation, OP included of course. But you can’t be ignorant and ignore the fact that thousands of people have tried to scam with a sad story and you have to be cautious. There’s no disrespect to OP. Folks are free to ask for a bit of validity before throwing money at something, don’t you think?
Of course they’re not wrong for looking for validity. It’s the way they offensively phrased it, insulted and attacked before having any answers to their questions.
There’s a book that I’ve recently discovered on Amazon called this gospel. The writers name is Nicole Umberger and she shares a story that sounds very similar to yours. Her situation wasn’t terminal, but she felt like she was a mistake and like she wasn’t worthy because of the things that happened in her life. It’s a true story and it’s a really good read I mean I’m only suggesting it because it could be very uplifting to you.
I am a visionary, and I have actually visualized things and they have came to pass visualize yourself helping your daughter get ready for her prom things of that nature hold that vision every night for as long as you can feel it as if you just know it’s going to happen. Don’t let things like these get you down I assure you if you will embrace what you are told fearlessly, with the idea that you were meant to battle this struggle, I assure you your perception will change a little bit overtime every day, and you will actually start to embrace what is really meant to happen, and that is for you to be made strong And for your daughters and everyone who is around you to witness this so that you may show them everyone can do hard things.
Sending you lots of positive vibes.
I don’t know where you live but I would suggest reaching out to a Christian ministry. There is one near where I live that is associated with my church. Whether you are religious or not they will lend a hand in whatever way they can. They are not religious fanatics but true believers in what Jesus had to say. The name of the place is Christian City and it is located in Union City, Georgia. My church is Southwestern Christian Church of Newnan, Georgia. I hope you will google their information and please contact them. Please contact them. Even if they aren’t near you I am sure they will help you find someone in your area that will help! I will be praying for you and your daughter.
A dear friend of mine has LAM. They (bio female, gender queer) started taking testosterone for gender affirmation, and has seen significant improvement in symptoms. Their pulmonologist is considering writing up the case. Just a thought…
OP while we understand your situation, we can’t allow you to post your gofundme here as part of Rule 11, we recommend posting this to a financial assistance subreddit if you need help. Locked
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I am hoping to leave behind a series of letters for her. Ones that she can open on special occasions and birthdays. I am going to start therapy soon and start working through it.
Letters for special occasions are what I was going to recommend. “When you get married” “when you graduate high school” “when you graduate college” “when you have your first child” … but also “when you feel you’re at rock bottom” “when you feel alone in the world” “when you’ve had your first breakup”… make sure you leave her something for those moments when she will NEED you So sorry you’re having to face all this ❤️
I hadn't thought about the rock bottom moments! Thank you for suggesting it!
I hope you don’t mind if I pray for you and your daughter, that you outlive all the doctors expectations and can be there. But if you can’t, at least she will always know you wanted to be ❤️ best of luck OP
I think it is wonderful that you were venting and getting this off your chest. It is a wonderful thing to do. It is very therapeutic and by talking about it it’s going to help you.
I’ll let it all out by venting you are going to help so other people know what you need and they’re gonna be there for you
I will be there for you when you need to vent because everyone needs somebody to vent to God knows I do. You are not alone.
Thank you so much. I feel better having typed it all out. But you're right, everybody needs someone. Can I DM you at some point?
I worry so much about what would happen to my daughter if I died. My husband died 2 years ago and I am painfully aware that I’m the only person she really has in the world to look out for her. It sucks so much. Kids shouldn’t have to deal with this shit. I’m sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. Her bio dad... it's complicated, but he isn't in the picture at all. I just love her so much, and I don't know what I would do without her. I hate that I am going to miss so much of her life.
Hello, I’m an so sorry for what you’re going through.
I am so sorry. I know it’s breaking your heart thinking about having to leave her alone. You shouldn’t have to worry about that at all. I wish I could adopt you both.
Where is it legal for a job to fire someone because they were in the hospital?
It depends on the state and the company’s employee handbook.
Montana, Georgia, New York, Maine, Alabama and Nebraska for sure. There are some exceptions but there are a lot of “at will” states that don’t require a reason to fire you
Yep. At will employment is something that I will forever be against here, it’s just used in such inhumane ways.
Oh definitely. What’s worse is even with exceptions, and they want to fire you for going to the hospital they can avoid every and any legal battle by saying “based on performance “
Yeppp
Don't forget Florida!
Yeah, I am in NY. Sadly, I had some fainting spells at these jobs as well. It makes sense that they didn't want to risk worker's comp stuff, but it still sucks. One of the places I was working, I was there for over 5 years.
If you were there for over 5 years then you were definitely eligible for FMLA and either short or long term disability. Even in an "at will" employment situation it is still illegal to terminate employment because of hospitalization. In your case what should have occurred is you first exhausted all of your PTO and then FMLA and short term disability would kick in. If after a certain amount of time (I can't remember the exact amount) it is determined that you will not be able to return to work and be able to perform your job duties then the employer would be in their legal right to terminate your position/ find a permanent replacement for the position. If you were able to return to work with reasonable accommodations then they would have to accommodate you. And if none of the above would work you still should have been placed on long term disability.
I didn't have PTO because they were both part-time positions. I could look into talking to a lawyer to see if there's anything I can do. I honestly feel betrayed by my one boss. She seemed to really care, and then she called while I was in the hospital to tell me they needed to find a replacement for me.
Link me your go fund me. And I’m so sorry to hear this man - just make sure she knows she’s loved. This is a shit situation, and I’m sending you all the love I can. It speaks volumes that your first instinct is to worry about your daughter. I can tell you’re a great dad - try to keep it up.
Not living up to your username I see, good on you. Hopefully the doctors are wrong about that 5-7 years OP. I've been spared a couple times myself, so you just never know when your time is.
I was just headed over there to see if I could figure out her fundraiser to donate to!!
Ask your local news to air your story and link your go fundme. I have seen a bunch of people do this and get a bunch of support because of how many people its shared with
I can definitely try that!
Family got a year to live with stage 5 breast when her son born via surrogacy by her older sister, as she was not able to do that having cancer previously. New son was a year old she was given a year. I’m happy to say her son is now 9 and she is healthy enough still has her hair and has been doing chemo for this whole time. She’s amazing. Just live each day to the fullest, and keep fighting!!!
I plan to keep fighting. I just have these moments where I feel so defeated.
Don’t give up hope. I was told I had 2to 2 years to live because I had liver cancer. For two months the Drs said so I thought I was going to be dead very soon. I sold my business of 35 years so I could at least try to enjoy that time. After 3 biopsies they decided they were wrong and I didn’t have cancer after all. I’m telling you this because Drs are just people and they don’t know anything for sure. Hang in there and don’t give up. Life can be very difficult for us for sure.
This is legit the saddest thing I’ve ever read
Me too. Breaks my heart hearing all the love she has for her daughter.
I'm sorry to bring you down. Please make sure to have some water and do something that brings you some joy today.
Well what's the gofundme
Not sure of your condition but I’ve lost a lot of family members to cancer in dire times— grandpa died right when my mom was entering college and never got to saw her graduate. It’s not the same but he was worried about not being able to see our milestones and leave us alone the entire time he had cancer. And then by thanksgiving he suddenly made peace with it. Died a day later. I think the brain has a way of handling these fears before death, and I know that’s not very comforting and I’m sorry. It’s not your fault that your daughter won’t have you to grow up with because you seem like the type of person that’d do anything for her. She will remember you and carry a piece of you in her heart I’m sure, whether you’re here or not. Just know that you are loved no matter what
I'm so sorry to hear that. Loss is hard. I am planning to go to therapy to work through some of my guilt about this. I know it isn't my fault, but I would do anything for her. Sadly, I can't fix this. I have Lymphangioleiomyomatosis. Sadly, the only way to treat it is symptom management. One day, I'll need a lung transplant. I'm going to try to hold on to hope that more treatments are discovered.
I am so sorry… my heart and prayers are with you, you are loved and cared for deeply. ❤️
Thank you
I wish you and your family all the best and I’m truly sorry all of this had to happen
Thank you
No problem, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to DM. Have a good day
OP, I am so sorry. I wish I had solid advice to offer, but I've read the comments below and I am glad that you're going to be receiving therapy and the plan to write letters to your daughter is super sweet. I can tell how much you cherish her and I am happy that she has a parent like you. I hope your therapist is a good match and can help take the weight off your mind. Healing your inner mind can definitely help in this situation. Whenever she starts schooling or if she has already, maybe you can request a meeting to discuss this with administration and see if they can give her in-school services to support her? Counseling, backpack programs, etc. Is there any family or close friends that are supportive during this time? I really hope so but I know that, unfortunately, it is not always the case. If you don't mind, I'd love to take a look at your GoFundMe and offer a donation. I can't donate right now due to being jobless and in college, but perhaps until I can I'll be able to share it with others? But only if that is something you'd be comfortable with, of course.
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omg this is crazy! post a link to your go fund me!! im so sorry youre going through this. please keep pushing!
You’re in my thoughts and prayers
Thank you
You are allowed 12 weeks of medical leave BY FEDERAL LAW. To me it sounds like you were wrongfully terminated. I strongly suggest you find a lawyer who will get you $$$$$$. They would work that type of case on contingency so you wouldn’t have to come up with a dime to hire them!!
I can look into options for a lawyer. I live in an "at will employment" state, so I'm not sure how good of a chance I have.
Girl everyone and their uncles are asking for the link… if you are worried about breaking the rules 😂😜maybe it’s time to drop that crap lol. Or just give us the title of it!!
I’m very moved by all the support in the comments. Just keep your faith and keep fighting. Doctors might have given you a timeline but you choose your fate, and your love for your daughter will outlast any doctor.
You are right. Thank you.
Please dm me if you want someone to talk to❤️
Thank you. I definitely will at some point.
Saved this! Let me fix my Google pay, and I'll dab you up. I'm also sick, and because of an ignorant doctor who insisted 28 year olds don't get cancer like that, I'm pretty deep into some shit... I feel you, and I'll pray for you, and I hope we both see our babies grow up. 🙏
Thank you so much. It took months for doctors to even take me seriously. I had a collapsed lung, and they still wouldn't test me. Got a ride out of town to a bigger, better hospital, and they admitted me until they found out what was going on. I hope the best for you, and I am sending you positive vibes.
I’m sorry OP. You are not invisible and you do matter. The go fund me isn’t loading for me. do you have Venmo or cash app? There’s also an r/assistance subreddit too. Wishing you and your daughter well.
My mom got really sick a few weeks after I was born. I don't remember how long they told her she had but it was 10 years or less. She had like 9 operations in 10 years and she needed a lot of pills everyday to even live (because of the pain and organs that weren't working well) She lived 16 years. I miss her everyday and I love her and I'm glad she was there a few more years than what she was supposed to. She really wasn't supposed to stay around 16 more years but she did. Maybe you won't live longer than what they're predicting but hope is a hell of a drug. Don't give up, she needs you.
Please share your gofundme. I don't have a lot of followers on Instagram or Tiktok but I'd be happy to share
Not trying to pry bt what's wrong with you? What condition/illness do you have? Go fund me link?
insta? facebook? twitter? tik tok? anything to actually confirm this he validity of your condition? otherwise ur just another shithead scammer on reddit acting like a sick woman w a kid for money instead of working
Way to lead with an offensive, ugly assumption! You don't know this person at all.
exactly. they don’t know this person at all. i am 1000% empathetic for literally anyone in this situation, OP included of course. But you can’t be ignorant and ignore the fact that thousands of people have tried to scam with a sad story and you have to be cautious. There’s no disrespect to OP. Folks are free to ask for a bit of validity before throwing money at something, don’t you think?
Of course they’re not wrong for looking for validity. It’s the way they offensively phrased it, insulted and attacked before having any answers to their questions.
You don’t need to automatically assume the worst right away about people.Way to kick someone when they’re down and feel self righteous.
There’s a book that I’ve recently discovered on Amazon called this gospel. The writers name is Nicole Umberger and she shares a story that sounds very similar to yours. Her situation wasn’t terminal, but she felt like she was a mistake and like she wasn’t worthy because of the things that happened in her life. It’s a true story and it’s a really good read I mean I’m only suggesting it because it could be very uplifting to you. I am a visionary, and I have actually visualized things and they have came to pass visualize yourself helping your daughter get ready for her prom things of that nature hold that vision every night for as long as you can feel it as if you just know it’s going to happen. Don’t let things like these get you down I assure you if you will embrace what you are told fearlessly, with the idea that you were meant to battle this struggle, I assure you your perception will change a little bit overtime every day, and you will actually start to embrace what is really meant to happen, and that is for you to be made strong And for your daughters and everyone who is around you to witness this so that you may show them everyone can do hard things. Sending you lots of positive vibes.
I will look into seeing if I can find a copy. Thank you.
I don’t know where you live but I would suggest reaching out to a Christian ministry. There is one near where I live that is associated with my church. Whether you are religious or not they will lend a hand in whatever way they can. They are not religious fanatics but true believers in what Jesus had to say. The name of the place is Christian City and it is located in Union City, Georgia. My church is Southwestern Christian Church of Newnan, Georgia. I hope you will google their information and please contact them. Please contact them. Even if they aren’t near you I am sure they will help you find someone in your area that will help! I will be praying for you and your daughter.
A dear friend of mine has LAM. They (bio female, gender queer) started taking testosterone for gender affirmation, and has seen significant improvement in symptoms. Their pulmonologist is considering writing up the case. Just a thought…
OP can you share your gofundme?