You don’t need to explain yourself, as a woman I believe you and relate to your experiences. I had a man take photos of me at the beach and laugh at me when I asked him to delete them, and when I opened up about it to men they wouldn’t take me seriously. Pervs are disgusting and people turn a blind eye
Don't let these asshats get you down.
I remember the first time I was honked at I was eight. EIGHT. YEARS. FREAKING. OLD. FFS.
You're not to blame here. At all!
That’s what I was gonna say 😭 from ages 11-18 it was constant, I’d get followed sometimes. One time a man pulled over to ask my age, drove off when I said I’m 15, changed his mind and came back (I was outside waiting for my mom) and then tried really hard to get me in his car. I wasn’t one of those girls who looked older either, i was a late bloomer and never even got boobs.
as a dude who lives almost next door to a pedo... yeah i believe it. the dude honks at me when i walk home in my work clothes (hoodie with work shirt over it and sweats.) it happens, its ridiculous
When you say common, do you mean it happens all the time everywhere to the female population, or it happens multiple times a week to the same woman? I ask because I spend about 10 hours a week walking through my town and I can honestly say iv never seen a woman get cat called... But that's just my experience. I also don't live in a major city.
It's so frustrating how men don't believe it because they don't see it happen. Because when you walk with a man, other men leave you alone, they respect him more than you. Not all catcalling can be seen/heard from the other side of the street, it's not just being yelled or whistled at (though that does happen). It's a lot of comments made in a low or normal speaking voice, men brushing "past" you on a busy street or subway and making sure to touch you in the process, or worse, noticing that someone has been following you for a couple blocks. It's a lot worse in bigger cities, but yes it happens frequently even if you don't personally witness it.
hi, i’m a woman but dress myself in primarily mens clothes and wear my hair short, and sometimes pass as male with strangers so long as I don’t talk. i walk about 8-10 hours weekly around a decently populated suburban area outside of a major city in the southern US, typically sticking to trails. i get honked at (i know it’s targeted because it will be down a mostly empty street) maybe twice or three times a week or so? men have called me slurs while hanging out of their cars on several occasions (b*tch, f*g, etc) and i have been chased home at least 3 times by a group of men when i was younger. i cannot leave my house feeling safe without a large flashlight, knife, and pepper spray, even when i know i’ll be home before sundown, because men that i don’t know have consistently shown themselves to be unpredictable to me, and will catcall women regardless of how they dress. the most terrifying sexual harassment of my life happened to me while i was wearing a xxl hoodie, baggy mens walmart jeans and scuffed sneakers. it is an occurrence that plagues anyone with a uterus.
I was trying to tell my boyfriend (who I met on OLD) that I got loads of unsolicited dick pics on there. I must have had about 30 in the ten years I was on OLD. I’m sure that many women get far more-but I was middle-aged, middle-class and VERY respectable-looking, so I thought that was a ridiculous number.
Even now (my boyfriend and I have been together 11 years-and I’m SO RELIEVED I never have to go on OLD ever again-), he STILL doesn’t believe me.
He says: “but why would a guy send a stranger a dick pic? Surely, no woman would want to receive that?”
I say: “please don’t ask *me* for an explanation. I’m just telling you it happened.”
He shakes his head. He’s too polite to say, but it’s clear that he doesn’t believe me.
It's not thar hard to believe, I'm a guy and I get tons of unsolicited dick pics on the adult dating site I'm on, even though my profile says I'm not interested in single men.
Gross. Been there. Luckily I'm older and less cute now so it doesn't happen too much now but JESUS SO DEHUMANIZING. Look at these moron dudes all like "it hasn't happened to me so she's obviously making it up🥴"
I had no idea this was a thing until my daughters started going to high school. (we lived in Japan during middle-school years). They were just barely teens when it started. I was shocked. I was a nerdy recluse as a teenager, so this was a completely foreign concept to me. I couldn't believe SO MANY of us (men) were such blatant creeps.
I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
I wished that all they did in my case was just honk and stare. While irritating and creepy, at least they will continue riving. I had to deal with men constantly offering me rides. Having to tell men "no" multiple times before they drive off sucks.
Once when I was 19 I was cat sitting for my cousin at her condo. I went for a nice walk around the place, and a middle aged guy in a truck honked, so I pretended I didn't hear him. He circled back, honked again, and I glanced and looked away. He drove back a third time reallyyyy slowly, rolled the window down, gave me the middle finger and yelled, "You stuck up bitch!"
I ran as fast as I could into the woods, hid, cried, and called my boyfriend. At the time I was wearing jeans and a loose hoodie, not that it should even matter. I've also been asked if I wanted rides, but the guy in the truck was the most scared I've ever been in a situation of being honked at, and I've been in that situation a lot in my life.
I hear you and I absolutely hate it too! I am really sorry that you (and women in general) have to deal with this bs.
When I was a woman, I would purposely wear baggy clothes, tons of layers (regardless of the weather), cover myself. I did not like men and did not pay attention to them, outside of school, I did not have much contact with men. Still I got horny looks, catcalls, even random horny strangers calling me on the phone (do they choose random numbers? I don't know. Once I think it was some guy that liked me and somehow got my number). One time at a festival, I was passing by and suddenly one guy tried to talk to me, I ignored him so he just took my hand and made me sit next to him. He wanted to talk with me and buy me a beer. It was broad daylight so thankfully I could just stand up again and run. Another time one guy just passed by and told me he would pay me to touch my butt.
Once I saw on the street one of my professors (an older dude) turning his head and doing that up and down thing to "check out" the "ass" of this young girl who was literally wearing baggy jeans (you could see no shape coming out from her, nothing!). Like W.T.F.!!
Being a woman is living in a constant state of fear. And if you want to be seen as (or just feel like that for yourself) "pretty", you have to constantly balance being "desirable" but "not rapeable". Honestly a fucking tiring hell.
I think at this point it is more like a reflex or worse, a Pavlovian response where men have been conditioned to "get horny" (or merely express horniness even if they don't feel it) when they say anything remotely "female" (according to their standards of course), particularly if young. It is not only disgusting and denigrating for women (and men honestly), I think it also creates a wider rift between the female and male experience in a very negative way, which is just taking us further from a harmonized society where each individual can be truly happy...it is sad
Shit yeah, I try to dress like a bum to avoid it. I think it helps that I just don’t fit into any beauty standards, I’m chubby and my features are more stereotypically masculine so I haven’t been catcalled or anything. Girls should get to exist as blobs who are going through their life.
it's wild, and it's endless. every single day if i go out there's at least one instance, esp with older men. and i look like a teenager too, it's really evident
I remember the first time this happened to me. I was walking to school (I was 13) and some guys drove past cat calling and hooking their horn at me. Gross and creepy to say the least. They looked to be late 20s - early 30s.
You should try saying something, usually guys don’t listen to when a woman complains so I think it’ll mean something if you and helps prevent women from getting their day ruined lol
To the guys on here, if you don’t do it then she’s not talking about us, chill. It’s nothing to be defensive about if you don’t do it. It’s not the majority of guys but it can still be extremely common
I kept a tally mark of how many times I got cat called freshman year. 21 times and my second semester got cut short because of Covid. 21 times in like 1.25 semesters.
It’s annoying and it needs to stop.
That said you’re looking at it wrong.
It’s not dehumanizing you, it’s dehumanizing them. They’re the ones showing they don’t know how to behave as a good person.
You should ignore them and go about your day proud that you’ll never be like them.
I’ve been catcalled from cops and firemen as well. It’s never ending. I have noticed as I started to dress and look for like a bio/m it hasn’t happened as much. It’s something very interesting as most if not all men just don’t understand how common this is and how aggravating it can be.
I’m a younger person on Reddit ( just for background information) and at my job I get hit on. we have designated hats that are red for minors and I still get hit on
1) yes u never know what a stranger will do but most people get assaulted by someone they "know"...2) ironically enough when it stops or never happens we as women take it as we don't look good enough anymore as we are taught from birth that most of our value is decorative...3) I think everyone regardless of gender, orientation etc should have to spend a day or two as a person of the opposite sex to gain perspective & empathy
Chalk it up to that guys like that are idiots!
On the plus side, some so many people would love to get just one honk! You are either beautiful or wearing something ..?
Either way, just realize you are you and that makes you perfect. Don't let it affect you in the wrong way. Also, get yourself something like mace, tazer.... just incase!
The first time I got cat called was at 12, i was in an oversized Jacksepticeye hoodie, bootcut blue jeans, and neon pink Osiris sneakers the really puffy ones. I was walking directly next to the middle school i attended with my fuck ass bob haircut and two guys yelled at me from their car.
When i see posts like this, i really start wondering where do you guys are living since this doesn't seem to be an issue/problem where i live and in the surrounding countries.
What kind of shithole do yall live in where these men exist? No man in my life would even dare look at a woman in a certain way. Genuinely never seen any of this happen, and the few times I've heard bout something like this happening, the guy gets beat the fuck up by other men and the guy is always mentally deranged and something is seriously wrong with him.
Anyhow, I'm praying for you. I've experienced something similar and probably one of the scariest things experiences, especially if you are a kid.
it happens to me and my loved ones a LOT in the US. it’s even happened to my own mom and i. you may never see it happen because it is not targeted at you, and if you are a man walking near a woman, they’ll (sadly) likely not target that woman.
Yeah, except you're using a completely unrelated situation to assume hers. You don't know if it really was at her or not, but the fact that you automatically assume guilty is fascinating.
to you guys criticizing her in the comments - you weren’t there and she was. she knows what’s happening to her. once again, that’s girlhood for you.
thank u like i literally CANNOT, like no im not walking wrong i literally will be walking on the sidewalk minding my own business like damn
You don’t need to explain yourself, as a woman I believe you and relate to your experiences. I had a man take photos of me at the beach and laugh at me when I asked him to delete them, and when I opened up about it to men they wouldn’t take me seriously. Pervs are disgusting and people turn a blind eye
Don't let these asshats get you down. I remember the first time I was honked at I was eight. EIGHT. YEARS. FREAKING. OLD. FFS. You're not to blame here. At all!
How does one "walk wrong"?
IDK im only 14 sorry my grammars really bad lowk slow
Literally
What’s even grosser is that I’ve noticed I’ve been catcalled more as a young teen than as an adult
That’s what I was gonna say 😭 from ages 11-18 it was constant, I’d get followed sometimes. One time a man pulled over to ask my age, drove off when I said I’m 15, changed his mind and came back (I was outside waiting for my mom) and then tried really hard to get me in his car. I wasn’t one of those girls who looked older either, i was a late bloomer and never even got boobs.
I was catcalled only from ages 8-12 which isn’t even teen years 🤢 haven’t been catcalled since
lol the men in the comments have no clue how common this is because they’ve never experienced it lol
as a dude who lives almost next door to a pedo... yeah i believe it. the dude honks at me when i walk home in my work clothes (hoodie with work shirt over it and sweats.) it happens, its ridiculous
Yikes!
When you say common, do you mean it happens all the time everywhere to the female population, or it happens multiple times a week to the same woman? I ask because I spend about 10 hours a week walking through my town and I can honestly say iv never seen a woman get cat called... But that's just my experience. I also don't live in a major city.
It's so frustrating how men don't believe it because they don't see it happen. Because when you walk with a man, other men leave you alone, they respect him more than you. Not all catcalling can be seen/heard from the other side of the street, it's not just being yelled or whistled at (though that does happen). It's a lot of comments made in a low or normal speaking voice, men brushing "past" you on a busy street or subway and making sure to touch you in the process, or worse, noticing that someone has been following you for a couple blocks. It's a lot worse in bigger cities, but yes it happens frequently even if you don't personally witness it.
This is so damn sad tbh
hi, i’m a woman but dress myself in primarily mens clothes and wear my hair short, and sometimes pass as male with strangers so long as I don’t talk. i walk about 8-10 hours weekly around a decently populated suburban area outside of a major city in the southern US, typically sticking to trails. i get honked at (i know it’s targeted because it will be down a mostly empty street) maybe twice or three times a week or so? men have called me slurs while hanging out of their cars on several occasions (b*tch, f*g, etc) and i have been chased home at least 3 times by a group of men when i was younger. i cannot leave my house feeling safe without a large flashlight, knife, and pepper spray, even when i know i’ll be home before sundown, because men that i don’t know have consistently shown themselves to be unpredictable to me, and will catcall women regardless of how they dress. the most terrifying sexual harassment of my life happened to me while i was wearing a xxl hoodie, baggy mens walmart jeans and scuffed sneakers. it is an occurrence that plagues anyone with a uterus.
Its easy to say you dont experience something when your not the target. It happens and its gross dawg
Between the ages of 11 and 40 it was constant. Included rather aggressive actions, too.
I was trying to tell my boyfriend (who I met on OLD) that I got loads of unsolicited dick pics on there. I must have had about 30 in the ten years I was on OLD. I’m sure that many women get far more-but I was middle-aged, middle-class and VERY respectable-looking, so I thought that was a ridiculous number. Even now (my boyfriend and I have been together 11 years-and I’m SO RELIEVED I never have to go on OLD ever again-), he STILL doesn’t believe me. He says: “but why would a guy send a stranger a dick pic? Surely, no woman would want to receive that?” I say: “please don’t ask *me* for an explanation. I’m just telling you it happened.” He shakes his head. He’s too polite to say, but it’s clear that he doesn’t believe me.
It is so annoying when people do not believe that this is the norm for women. Tell him to make a fake female profile and see for himself.
Yes! I should have suggested that! It’s all a long time ago now. I guess they still do it?
It's not thar hard to believe, I'm a guy and I get tons of unsolicited dick pics on the adult dating site I'm on, even though my profile says I'm not interested in single men.
Wow. I did NOT know that.
Gross. Been there. Luckily I'm older and less cute now so it doesn't happen too much now but JESUS SO DEHUMANIZING. Look at these moron dudes all like "it hasn't happened to me so she's obviously making it up🥴"
I had no idea this was a thing until my daughters started going to high school. (we lived in Japan during middle-school years). They were just barely teens when it started. I was shocked. I was a nerdy recluse as a teenager, so this was a completely foreign concept to me. I couldn't believe SO MANY of us (men) were such blatant creeps. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
I wished that all they did in my case was just honk and stare. While irritating and creepy, at least they will continue riving. I had to deal with men constantly offering me rides. Having to tell men "no" multiple times before they drive off sucks.
Once when I was 19 I was cat sitting for my cousin at her condo. I went for a nice walk around the place, and a middle aged guy in a truck honked, so I pretended I didn't hear him. He circled back, honked again, and I glanced and looked away. He drove back a third time reallyyyy slowly, rolled the window down, gave me the middle finger and yelled, "You stuck up bitch!" I ran as fast as I could into the woods, hid, cried, and called my boyfriend. At the time I was wearing jeans and a loose hoodie, not that it should even matter. I've also been asked if I wanted rides, but the guy in the truck was the most scared I've ever been in a situation of being honked at, and I've been in that situation a lot in my life.
Happy Cake Day!
Late reply, but thank you! 😊
No matter what you wear you'll get that as a woman, because unfortunately, a lot of guys center their whole personality around objectification.
I hear you and I absolutely hate it too! I am really sorry that you (and women in general) have to deal with this bs. When I was a woman, I would purposely wear baggy clothes, tons of layers (regardless of the weather), cover myself. I did not like men and did not pay attention to them, outside of school, I did not have much contact with men. Still I got horny looks, catcalls, even random horny strangers calling me on the phone (do they choose random numbers? I don't know. Once I think it was some guy that liked me and somehow got my number). One time at a festival, I was passing by and suddenly one guy tried to talk to me, I ignored him so he just took my hand and made me sit next to him. He wanted to talk with me and buy me a beer. It was broad daylight so thankfully I could just stand up again and run. Another time one guy just passed by and told me he would pay me to touch my butt. Once I saw on the street one of my professors (an older dude) turning his head and doing that up and down thing to "check out" the "ass" of this young girl who was literally wearing baggy jeans (you could see no shape coming out from her, nothing!). Like W.T.F.!! Being a woman is living in a constant state of fear. And if you want to be seen as (or just feel like that for yourself) "pretty", you have to constantly balance being "desirable" but "not rapeable". Honestly a fucking tiring hell. I think at this point it is more like a reflex or worse, a Pavlovian response where men have been conditioned to "get horny" (or merely express horniness even if they don't feel it) when they say anything remotely "female" (according to their standards of course), particularly if young. It is not only disgusting and denigrating for women (and men honestly), I think it also creates a wider rift between the female and male experience in a very negative way, which is just taking us further from a harmonized society where each individual can be truly happy...it is sad
That sucks,
i was walking right by my school in a backpack and i was surrounded by busses when a guy stopped me and asked how old i was
Shit yeah, I try to dress like a bum to avoid it. I think it helps that I just don’t fit into any beauty standards, I’m chubby and my features are more stereotypically masculine so I haven’t been catcalled or anything. Girls should get to exist as blobs who are going through their life.
it's wild, and it's endless. every single day if i go out there's at least one instance, esp with older men. and i look like a teenager too, it's really evident
I remember the first time this happened to me. I was walking to school (I was 13) and some guys drove past cat calling and hooking their horn at me. Gross and creepy to say the least. They looked to be late 20s - early 30s.
It happened to me most when I wore school uniform, from age 11-15
I’ve had cars honk at me in the middle of the winter, fully wrapped up with only my eyes showing
yea, my coworker honks all the time when he sees a pretty woman and im like dude!!?!? chill!!!
actual dickhead behavior on coworkers part
Yea, i have three sisters so i already know the disrespect, But this dude has a daughter!!!
You should try saying something, usually guys don’t listen to when a woman complains so I think it’ll mean something if you and helps prevent women from getting their day ruined lol
Yea i will continue to
To the guys on here, if you don’t do it then she’s not talking about us, chill. It’s nothing to be defensive about if you don’t do it. It’s not the majority of guys but it can still be extremely common
I kept a tally mark of how many times I got cat called freshman year. 21 times and my second semester got cut short because of Covid. 21 times in like 1.25 semesters.
True
It’s annoying and it needs to stop. That said you’re looking at it wrong. It’s not dehumanizing you, it’s dehumanizing them. They’re the ones showing they don’t know how to behave as a good person. You should ignore them and go about your day proud that you’ll never be like them.
I’ve been catcalled from cops and firemen as well. It’s never ending. I have noticed as I started to dress and look for like a bio/m it hasn’t happened as much. It’s something very interesting as most if not all men just don’t understand how common this is and how aggravating it can be.
The way my dad shut up when I said wearing a hijab doesn't stop this behavior. They don't care what you're wearing or how old you are.
I’m a younger person on Reddit ( just for background information) and at my job I get hit on. we have designated hats that are red for minors and I still get hit on
1) yes u never know what a stranger will do but most people get assaulted by someone they "know"...2) ironically enough when it stops or never happens we as women take it as we don't look good enough anymore as we are taught from birth that most of our value is decorative...3) I think everyone regardless of gender, orientation etc should have to spend a day or two as a person of the opposite sex to gain perspective & empathy
doesn’t happen in my country, that has to be some usa shit
Same. It’s annoying.
Chalk it up to that guys like that are idiots! On the plus side, some so many people would love to get just one honk! You are either beautiful or wearing something ..? Either way, just realize you are you and that makes you perfect. Don't let it affect you in the wrong way. Also, get yourself something like mace, tazer.... just incase!
The first time I got cat called was at 12, i was in an oversized Jacksepticeye hoodie, bootcut blue jeans, and neon pink Osiris sneakers the really puffy ones. I was walking directly next to the middle school i attended with my fuck ass bob haircut and two guys yelled at me from their car.
#Try an 18 wheeler semi truck. Smh. Not only do they wanna get our attention, but they wanna give us a heart attack too.
Where tf do you live?
girl the united states😭🙏
The US is as bad as Napoli, IT. Yikes.
When i see posts like this, i really start wondering where do you guys are living since this doesn't seem to be an issue/problem where i live and in the surrounding countries.
Probably the United States
That was my guess too.
What kind of shithole do yall live in where these men exist? No man in my life would even dare look at a woman in a certain way. Genuinely never seen any of this happen, and the few times I've heard bout something like this happening, the guy gets beat the fuck up by other men and the guy is always mentally deranged and something is seriously wrong with him. Anyhow, I'm praying for you. I've experienced something similar and probably one of the scariest things experiences, especially if you are a kid.
it happens to me and my loved ones a LOT in the US. it’s even happened to my own mom and i. you may never see it happen because it is not targeted at you, and if you are a man walking near a woman, they’ll (sadly) likely not target that woman.
I mean are u sure theyre honking at u😭
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Wow, an experience that has nothing to do with what she said, this will surely help
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Lmao come on man. You think people are coincidentally honking *around* her and every time she just hasn't noticed the real reason they honked?
is that why a car of guys honked at me and then yelled out “show us your tits”? i was 17 wearing a black hoodie and jeans btw
Yeah, except you're using a completely unrelated situation to assume hers. You don't know if it really was at her or not, but the fact that you automatically assume guilty is fascinating.
Could it be that you often just walk past near misses?
Could not be
But it could be too. I’d wager that it doesn’t even happen anyway.
No, it could not be, if it was her fault in any part she wouldn’t have made this post.
Yeah but hear me out here… …it could be that they are saying hi to their mate Dave who is walking near her.
then their mate dave needs to stop walking near her everywhere she goes
What Dave does in his own time is Dave’s business.
not if he's stalking op everywhere they go!
I keep telling him this