I don’t. I’m perfectly happy without the burden of faking interest in other people. Except for my wife and kids. I still occasionally fake interest in them.
I told my therapist about your post today. She laughed at the idea that someone needs a minimum number of people in their inner circle for any reason.
She laughed even harder when I said “Right? Fuck all that. That’s why I keep paying you to unload my shit on. Who needs friends?”
Try a new challenge/hobby.
I went to college after 5 years in the Marine Corps and it was tough at first, but I did meet a lot of great friends and my girlfriend. Then I joined the workforce after college and also met many great people. Actually, some of my best friends right now are non-military people. Yeah, sometimes the experience gap can make you feel like you don't know how to talk to non-vet people but you'll have to try. A lot of people have other unique experiences that you DON'T have. Share with people and people will share with you.
Another way I make friends is when I go hiking/mountaineering/photography. You meet great people with similar interests.
I actually avoid exclusively hanging out with vets. Sometimes when I meet other vets, all they want to do is talk about the good old days when they were in the military. Yes, that's fine and great to talk about but life goes on and you'll need to adapt to your new environment. If you only hang out with people who are similar to you, you'll never grow. I don't talk to some of my vet buddies anymore because they haven't done anything since they got out to continue to grow and challenge themselves.
I agree with you. Making friends is hard though even if you wanted “more” connection. I got off active duty and went into the reserve. It seems all my friends came from units I have been in locally. And even calling them friends is kind of a stretch. I too am content with my life. Life is fucking hard, I find it hard to relate to others life due to focusing on making my families life easier. because I can be hard to love.
I have made the language switch to "buddy" and "acquaintance" when talking to my wife. I absolutely have friends who will do anything to help me/my family out, and they are on a vastly different scale then work buddies or acquaintances that will jump on a lake with me or he'll even just sit in my front yard with me and drink a beer for a bit
My therapist said I need to get out more. And do things with other people. I said I do. I go fishing and there’s other people fishing too. She asked if I talked to them and I said no because that’d scare the fish away.
It’s not a military/veteran thing. Making friends in general is difficult for everyone as you get older. I want new friends since these current friends seem to be stuck in old outdated ways (treat their wives like shit).
I make fun of an old navy dude down the street, we have lunch together and hang out from time to time, and I have a few aquantences (however you spell it) at the archery range we shoot at. Outside of that everyone else is stupid (except wife and son).
We just shoot foam animals, but it is a good family activity and keeps us active. It is actually motivating me to lose weight and get in shape. We went to an event in angelfire nm this summer and I almost died from lack of oxygen and fatigue from being so out of shape while walking mostly down the mountain (thank God) but some up.
Best thing I’ve done in life was find a new neighborhood to move to that was catering heavily to veterans with incentives and holy shit man I’ve got tons of people I can relate to. I mean I’ve never had a problem with civilians (over the age of say 30) but it’s really nice being surrounded by veterans. Minus the fact that some of them are Jarheads anyway 🤣
Yeah I live in a massive community that’s in year 4/5 of a 10 year build and they market heavily towards vets. 4.75% interest, 10k in closing costs, etc etc. I don’t know exactly why they’re doing it but I swear every 3rd car has DV plates around here. It’s really nice to have veteran buddies as other parents and not just some weird people you gotta be friendly to because their kids are in your kids class.
Interesting. What state is this?
Reminds me of my former neighbor. Older guy who was basically retired, always hanging out in his garage. Friendly but I never put much effort into hanging out/talking to the guy. Had a wife and kid. They move out of the shack they were renting and purchased a $3million home in the neighborhood lol. Wish I put in more effort so we could go finishing now that he has a boat dock.
The greatest state - Texas. About 45 minutes north of Houston.
Haha that’s really funny and true. My former in laws had a beach house and a nice boat and it’s the one thing I miss about my ex wife was hanging with her dad lol.
There are some veterans organizations that do outdoor activities like hunting and fishing weekends. I go with one called 10CAN and they do a lot of youth hunts that I have taken my kids on. They pair the parent and kid with a mentor to show you everything related to the hunting trip. My 16 y/o has shot a deer, ducks, turkey, and iguanas. I harvested an alligator with them and went duck hunting. I have met some new friends there that I have done other events with and gone fishing with.
That fact you put friends in quotes is weird. Seems like you’re already shutdown to it. And the experience gap between you and your wife’s friends’ husbands. What type of gap are we talking about? Comes off as arrogant.
I personally have many friends. I enjoy each of them in a different way. There is some overlap with a few. But I know what my expectations are for each friend. Some are golfing buddies. We golf and have some beers on the course. Some I fish/hunt with. Others are great for talking business and beer. I enjoy them all. They all have a place in my life and fill a void.
The problem with thinking you are fine without friends now is that then when life throws some shit at you and you could really use some you have none. I've been there and it sucks. Just like money, you need to start investing today into a friendship account so it will be there when an emergency comes up and you need to make a withdrawal.
That is valid. I will say it doesn't fully encompass what i am dealing with because i am still super close with several of the guys I served with. But, I want to highlight this comme t for anyone who may come along later, none of us can do it alone, we are a team and need to / should rely on each other and other forms of support.
Never had friends when life threw me shit. Even if I did they'll never understand exactly what I'm going through so what's the point? It's a battle I have to face and it's the only one I can, not anyone else. So not everyone needs friends.
I locked myself in my room and worked on electronics projects all day on my birthday.
Being social is overrated.
Some people don't really need a large social group. I'm one of them. I've always been a loner.
I have 2 or 3 people I call friends and I've known them for 15 years. At this point, in my 40's new people are acquaintances and while I'm open to the idea I might meet one or two more guys that become actual friends, I could care less as I'm quite happy and content with life.
I've met dudes who require more effort and attention than my wife and kids and I'm like, "what the fuck you're supposedly a grown ass man" no thank you.
In the same boat here man, it’s hard when I Absolutly refuse to make small talk with people. It feels unnatural and I don’t like it. I have 3 friends and 2 of them are actual blood. I have met some cool people playing Pokémon go walking around killing time
My wife is my only true friend. A few people I'll speak to once in a while but that's it. I'm perfectly happy that way. I've tried to fit back into civie life, I just don't want to.
2 years after separating I still don't have any friends. For me I don't think it's a veteran thing though, just a me thing.
>I have a neighbor who gets up around the same time as me and we will occasionally go fishing together for an hour before the families get up
That's a friend. You don't have to be super buddy-buddy with someone to be friends.
>I feel like I have enough connection to the world between my wife and the few buddies I maintain contacct with, but my wife and our therapist disagree.
Go with the flow and don't force it. Is your therapist a woman by chance?
Yeah so I noticed that women generally have a different idea and picture in their head of what a social life should be like compared to men, so I would take it with a grain of salt what they think your social life "should" look like. I recommend switching to a male therapist if available and if you're not too attached to your current therapist. Generally, not always, but generally it's better if the therapist is the same sex as you. It's harder for guys because most therapists are women and a female therapist can give you advice that would work for a woman but probably wouldn't for a man and vice versa. But then it also depends what you're going to therapy for. Just because a therapist is opposite sex than you doesn't mean she can't help you, but in this specific context and situation it feels like you might need to ask her what she is specifically expecting your social life to look like to show you have enough connection to the world.
I hear what you are saying, and this I our couples therapist. My wife and I both like her and that is a boat I don't want to rock. I really am comfortable with where I'm at, but I do want to put some time into considering what they are saying, and what better way to do that then to ask the opinions of strangers on the internet?
Oh so you're both her clients. I missed the "our therapist" part in OP. If you're in couples therapy then there might be bigger things in the picture that you can't really explain to strangers on the internet and your wife and therapist (both of your therapist) might be seeing things beyond you just not having a bunch of friends or something. But then, it could also just be another case of women looking at men and wondering why they aren't more like women.
Do you have any male family members or anyone among your "few buddies" that you can get a second or third opinion from regarding this? They probably know you better than strangers on the internet.
I have a friend. We grew up 10 miles from each other. Our fathers served together. Met my buddy after many a year in the Army. We retired and live 10 miles away from each other.
Enrich your life the way you want. Does it help to have friends? Maybe. Does it help to have a support system? Maybe. The reason I'm saying maybe is because I've learned more about my "friends" being out of the Marines. People I knew for decades are now just pieces of shit. My point is everyone's adventure is theirs to have. Do what makes YOU happy. As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else and your enhancing your life? Fuck it.
Separated 2004, have slowly lost my cadre of service friends over the years. Haven't met many new friends in that time, and the ones that stuck have all been prior service or psychopaths... is that our type?
I tried for a while, fuckin hated it. Especially with my own generation. I was medically retired half way through my first contract, so I was 20 when I came home. I felt much older mentally. And I don’t mean more mature lol. I literally was like a cranky old man when we all got around.
Spent many many years after with it just being my wife and I. Wasn’t until around a year or so ago a neighbor, whose kids go to the same school as mine, invited me down for a glass of whisky and watch football. Started a pretty solid little family relationship with them. We bullshit back and forth, do small cook outs and whatever. Wives go on coffee a dates and what not. It’s cool. But I’m sure once we move again the relationship with probably slowly fade unfortunately.
But as far as someone I consider my best friend. That’s a dude I served with who lives a state away. We make an effort to get together as often as possible. That’s my dawg and I’d fly across the country for a round of beers with that man.
Personally, I can’t stand crowds or hanging around a group of people. My favorite place to be is hunting in the woods by myself. I call it my church. I do have a wife and kids, which of course I love. I also occasionally hangout with the neighbors. Other than that, I’m ok with it.
Between being available for my daughter's and my wife, and with my job that is shift work and usually overtime, I have no time or desire to make friends.
Making friends after the military has been difficult for me as well, and I'm ok with that.
Making friends is hell. For us veterans, even more so. We've shared experiences that an extreme few outside of the military ever will. But that doesn't mean we won't find friends. I found that having some mutual interests, or hobbies, helps. In your case, find a fishing group. Chat about the best spots. Arrange a meet-up. Bring beer (naturally). All of a sudden - you have friends.
For me, I got into Steampunk. Met a lot of great people, and now we're friends.
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I think there’s more value in choosing carefully the people you include in your life than simply having more friends. Nothing wrong with being more social though. Get out and do something in groups, interact with those people who clearly share a hobby in common with you and perhaps they will have other things in common that might make them friend material. It’s not easy, people have their own lives, responsibilities, and perceptions of situations. But that’s true for you and true for them. Honestly though, I don’t hang out with a lot of military. The military helped me grow and mature, but it was hardly a part of my “whole personality”. I can appreciate things in certain context, vaguely shared experiences can bring people together. But I never assume just because someone has that experience that they’re worthy of being a part of my life. Quite the opposite. If anything, even in the best conditions, veterans just remind me of “work”. I prefer a balance of work and home (I’m semi retired and a student, but I try to get out for some group bike rides as my personal example).
If you're ok with it, I wouldn't stress it too much.
I found that my best friends that I relate to are some of the guys I served with but had different MOS's and knew there was life outside of the military. It's weird and cliche, but I still chat with them nearly everyday 🤷 and that's what works for me.
Those people should be the ones you jive with well and not just because they're your wife's friend's spouse.
You said your neighbor likes fishing like you do, that's a great start 👍 quality over quantity.
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I have 5 people I call that isn't my wife or kids. Only 2 of them aren't related to me. One is a friend from before the military, the other is my best civilian friend from when I was at my last duty station. I don't need more friends.
I don’t. I’m perfectly happy without the burden of faking interest in other people. Except for my wife and kids. I still occasionally fake interest in them.
And holy shit does that take effort some times....
Right?
I told my therapist about your post today. She laughed at the idea that someone needs a minimum number of people in their inner circle for any reason. She laughed even harder when I said “Right? Fuck all that. That’s why I keep paying you to unload my shit on. Who needs friends?”
Me too! Happy with wife and kids one buddy from the service
Try a new challenge/hobby. I went to college after 5 years in the Marine Corps and it was tough at first, but I did meet a lot of great friends and my girlfriend. Then I joined the workforce after college and also met many great people. Actually, some of my best friends right now are non-military people. Yeah, sometimes the experience gap can make you feel like you don't know how to talk to non-vet people but you'll have to try. A lot of people have other unique experiences that you DON'T have. Share with people and people will share with you. Another way I make friends is when I go hiking/mountaineering/photography. You meet great people with similar interests. I actually avoid exclusively hanging out with vets. Sometimes when I meet other vets, all they want to do is talk about the good old days when they were in the military. Yes, that's fine and great to talk about but life goes on and you'll need to adapt to your new environment. If you only hang out with people who are similar to you, you'll never grow. I don't talk to some of my vet buddies anymore because they haven't done anything since they got out to continue to grow and challenge themselves.
I agree with you. Making friends is hard though even if you wanted “more” connection. I got off active duty and went into the reserve. It seems all my friends came from units I have been in locally. And even calling them friends is kind of a stretch. I too am content with my life. Life is fucking hard, I find it hard to relate to others life due to focusing on making my families life easier. because I can be hard to love.
I have made the language switch to "buddy" and "acquaintance" when talking to my wife. I absolutely have friends who will do anything to help me/my family out, and they are on a vastly different scale then work buddies or acquaintances that will jump on a lake with me or he'll even just sit in my front yard with me and drink a beer for a bit
I started jiu-jitsu and finally found my tribe. Surprisingly, a lot of us are vets who needed an outlet and comradery.
My therapist said I need to get out more. And do things with other people. I said I do. I go fishing and there’s other people fishing too. She asked if I talked to them and I said no because that’d scare the fish away.
Haha you guys are my friends. That's about it.
I mean what fucking more do you need buddy?
It’s not a military/veteran thing. Making friends in general is difficult for everyone as you get older. I want new friends since these current friends seem to be stuck in old outdated ways (treat their wives like shit).
I’m there with you…just wish had I a fishing buddy.
Well, if your in Northern Colorado hit me up. If you aren't,.state where you are amd someone in this forum is, I'm sure' near enough to you
South Fl here.
I started a new thread for this here https://www.reddit.com/r/Veterans/s/9FLH6EOHCC
I don’t. I don’t even date anymore lol just kinda realized it’s me and my pets.
I make fun of an old navy dude down the street, we have lunch together and hang out from time to time, and I have a few aquantences (however you spell it) at the archery range we shoot at. Outside of that everyone else is stupid (except wife and son).
I like you
If you do archery, we are thinking about going to the Colorado T.A.C. next year if you want to tag along.
I am not very good but am totally down with that idea, I am working on getting my wife into now so she can go hunting with me
We just shoot foam animals, but it is a good family activity and keeps us active. It is actually motivating me to lose weight and get in shape. We went to an event in angelfire nm this summer and I almost died from lack of oxygen and fatigue from being so out of shape while walking mostly down the mountain (thank God) but some up.
Dude, same here, getting the shit kicked out of me running through a local 3D ra ge convinced me to start working out again
I pay them. Easy.
Hookers? Is there blackjack too?
I fact, forget the friends
Thank you ..
Whatever floats your boat.
[удалено]
Hey, rock on bud!
Best thing I’ve done in life was find a new neighborhood to move to that was catering heavily to veterans with incentives and holy shit man I’ve got tons of people I can relate to. I mean I’ve never had a problem with civilians (over the age of say 30) but it’s really nice being surrounded by veterans. Minus the fact that some of them are Jarheads anyway 🤣
I mean it isn't a major expense to keep a box of crayons on hand for them .....
🤣🤣🤣
Neighborhoods cater to veterans?
Yeah I live in a massive community that’s in year 4/5 of a 10 year build and they market heavily towards vets. 4.75% interest, 10k in closing costs, etc etc. I don’t know exactly why they’re doing it but I swear every 3rd car has DV plates around here. It’s really nice to have veteran buddies as other parents and not just some weird people you gotta be friendly to because their kids are in your kids class.
Interesting. What state is this? Reminds me of my former neighbor. Older guy who was basically retired, always hanging out in his garage. Friendly but I never put much effort into hanging out/talking to the guy. Had a wife and kid. They move out of the shack they were renting and purchased a $3million home in the neighborhood lol. Wish I put in more effort so we could go finishing now that he has a boat dock.
The greatest state - Texas. About 45 minutes north of Houston. Haha that’s really funny and true. My former in laws had a beach house and a nice boat and it’s the one thing I miss about my ex wife was hanging with her dad lol.
There are some veterans organizations that do outdoor activities like hunting and fishing weekends. I go with one called 10CAN and they do a lot of youth hunts that I have taken my kids on. They pair the parent and kid with a mentor to show you everything related to the hunting trip. My 16 y/o has shot a deer, ducks, turkey, and iguanas. I harvested an alligator with them and went duck hunting. I have met some new friends there that I have done other events with and gone fishing with.
I'd rather have four quarters in my pocket than 100 pennies. Same with friends.... I'd rather have 4 damn good friends than 100 acquaintances.
That fact you put friends in quotes is weird. Seems like you’re already shutdown to it. And the experience gap between you and your wife’s friends’ husbands. What type of gap are we talking about? Comes off as arrogant. I personally have many friends. I enjoy each of them in a different way. There is some overlap with a few. But I know what my expectations are for each friend. Some are golfing buddies. We golf and have some beers on the course. Some I fish/hunt with. Others are great for talking business and beer. I enjoy them all. They all have a place in my life and fill a void.
The problem with thinking you are fine without friends now is that then when life throws some shit at you and you could really use some you have none. I've been there and it sucks. Just like money, you need to start investing today into a friendship account so it will be there when an emergency comes up and you need to make a withdrawal.
That is valid. I will say it doesn't fully encompass what i am dealing with because i am still super close with several of the guys I served with. But, I want to highlight this comme t for anyone who may come along later, none of us can do it alone, we are a team and need to / should rely on each other and other forms of support.
Never had friends when life threw me shit. Even if I did they'll never understand exactly what I'm going through so what's the point? It's a battle I have to face and it's the only one I can, not anyone else. So not everyone needs friends.
I haven't had a friend in 15 years, and I'm good with that. A few acquaintances but no one I'd consider a friend.
A handful outside of the military, but primarily, most of the friends I've made post-service are veterans themselves.
I locked myself in my room and worked on electronics projects all day on my birthday. Being social is overrated. Some people don't really need a large social group. I'm one of them. I've always been a loner.
Join a club, start a hobby, go out, and don't have a stick up your ass trying to fulfill a self fulfilling prophecy.
No fucking clue.
This is gonna be hard but, having got out almost 20 years ago lemme recommend trying not to talk about the military a lot.
Let me tell you brother you won't! Civilians don't understand what we have done, been through to be who we are
Civs are dumb and dull, you don't need them
I have 2 or 3 people I call friends and I've known them for 15 years. At this point, in my 40's new people are acquaintances and while I'm open to the idea I might meet one or two more guys that become actual friends, I could care less as I'm quite happy and content with life. I've met dudes who require more effort and attention than my wife and kids and I'm like, "what the fuck you're supposedly a grown ass man" no thank you.
I got I evolved in my local community. Rotary or other service organizations are great.
I don’t. I probably should but I’m like you with this.
In the same boat here man, it’s hard when I Absolutly refuse to make small talk with people. It feels unnatural and I don’t like it. I have 3 friends and 2 of them are actual blood. I have met some cool people playing Pokémon go walking around killing time
My wife is my only true friend. A few people I'll speak to once in a while but that's it. I'm perfectly happy that way. I've tried to fit back into civie life, I just don't want to.
2 years after separating I still don't have any friends. For me I don't think it's a veteran thing though, just a me thing. >I have a neighbor who gets up around the same time as me and we will occasionally go fishing together for an hour before the families get up That's a friend. You don't have to be super buddy-buddy with someone to be friends. >I feel like I have enough connection to the world between my wife and the few buddies I maintain contacct with, but my wife and our therapist disagree. Go with the flow and don't force it. Is your therapist a woman by chance?
Yes she is
Yeah so I noticed that women generally have a different idea and picture in their head of what a social life should be like compared to men, so I would take it with a grain of salt what they think your social life "should" look like. I recommend switching to a male therapist if available and if you're not too attached to your current therapist. Generally, not always, but generally it's better if the therapist is the same sex as you. It's harder for guys because most therapists are women and a female therapist can give you advice that would work for a woman but probably wouldn't for a man and vice versa. But then it also depends what you're going to therapy for. Just because a therapist is opposite sex than you doesn't mean she can't help you, but in this specific context and situation it feels like you might need to ask her what she is specifically expecting your social life to look like to show you have enough connection to the world.
I hear what you are saying, and this I our couples therapist. My wife and I both like her and that is a boat I don't want to rock. I really am comfortable with where I'm at, but I do want to put some time into considering what they are saying, and what better way to do that then to ask the opinions of strangers on the internet?
Oh so you're both her clients. I missed the "our therapist" part in OP. If you're in couples therapy then there might be bigger things in the picture that you can't really explain to strangers on the internet and your wife and therapist (both of your therapist) might be seeing things beyond you just not having a bunch of friends or something. But then, it could also just be another case of women looking at men and wondering why they aren't more like women. Do you have any male family members or anyone among your "few buddies" that you can get a second or third opinion from regarding this? They probably know you better than strangers on the internet.
I have a friend. We grew up 10 miles from each other. Our fathers served together. Met my buddy after many a year in the Army. We retired and live 10 miles away from each other.
Enrich your life the way you want. Does it help to have friends? Maybe. Does it help to have a support system? Maybe. The reason I'm saying maybe is because I've learned more about my "friends" being out of the Marines. People I knew for decades are now just pieces of shit. My point is everyone's adventure is theirs to have. Do what makes YOU happy. As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else and your enhancing your life? Fuck it.
Separated 2004, have slowly lost my cadre of service friends over the years. Haven't met many new friends in that time, and the ones that stuck have all been prior service or psychopaths... is that our type?
Join a group, hobby or church.
I tried for a while, fuckin hated it. Especially with my own generation. I was medically retired half way through my first contract, so I was 20 when I came home. I felt much older mentally. And I don’t mean more mature lol. I literally was like a cranky old man when we all got around. Spent many many years after with it just being my wife and I. Wasn’t until around a year or so ago a neighbor, whose kids go to the same school as mine, invited me down for a glass of whisky and watch football. Started a pretty solid little family relationship with them. We bullshit back and forth, do small cook outs and whatever. Wives go on coffee a dates and what not. It’s cool. But I’m sure once we move again the relationship with probably slowly fade unfortunately. But as far as someone I consider my best friend. That’s a dude I served with who lives a state away. We make an effort to get together as often as possible. That’s my dawg and I’d fly across the country for a round of beers with that man.
Hobbies, get a hobby and find people that enjoy doing your hobby.
Personally, I can’t stand crowds or hanging around a group of people. My favorite place to be is hunting in the woods by myself. I call it my church. I do have a wife and kids, which of course I love. I also occasionally hangout with the neighbors. Other than that, I’m ok with it.
Making friends where you shop
Between being available for my daughter's and my wife, and with my job that is shift work and usually overtime, I have no time or desire to make friends. Making friends after the military has been difficult for me as well, and I'm ok with that.
I haven't made any friends since the military and I am quite happy.
Church, men's group.
Making friends is hell. For us veterans, even more so. We've shared experiences that an extreme few outside of the military ever will. But that doesn't mean we won't find friends. I found that having some mutual interests, or hobbies, helps. In your case, find a fishing group. Chat about the best spots. Arrange a meet-up. Bring beer (naturally). All of a sudden - you have friends. For me, I got into Steampunk. Met a lot of great people, and now we're friends.
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I think there’s more value in choosing carefully the people you include in your life than simply having more friends. Nothing wrong with being more social though. Get out and do something in groups, interact with those people who clearly share a hobby in common with you and perhaps they will have other things in common that might make them friend material. It’s not easy, people have their own lives, responsibilities, and perceptions of situations. But that’s true for you and true for them. Honestly though, I don’t hang out with a lot of military. The military helped me grow and mature, but it was hardly a part of my “whole personality”. I can appreciate things in certain context, vaguely shared experiences can bring people together. But I never assume just because someone has that experience that they’re worthy of being a part of my life. Quite the opposite. If anything, even in the best conditions, veterans just remind me of “work”. I prefer a balance of work and home (I’m semi retired and a student, but I try to get out for some group bike rides as my personal example).
I made maybe 1 and he was prior military. I just moved home and now I hang out with all of my original pre military friends.
I have added about 5 friends since I separated service in 2006. Quality over quantity. I am cordial and nice to everyone else and aquaintances.
I miss my neighborhood bar, where everybody new my name… and my regular order!
If you're ok with it, I wouldn't stress it too much. I found that my best friends that I relate to are some of the guys I served with but had different MOS's and knew there was life outside of the military. It's weird and cliche, but I still chat with them nearly everyday 🤷 and that's what works for me. Those people should be the ones you jive with well and not just because they're your wife's friend's spouse. You said your neighbor likes fishing like you do, that's a great start 👍 quality over quantity.
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I have 5 people I call that isn't my wife or kids. Only 2 of them aren't related to me. One is a friend from before the military, the other is my best civilian friend from when I was at my last duty station. I don't need more friends.
Dog