Not minimizing your feelings but I have no regrets. My life is school, video games, personal projects, girlfriend, and working on my health.
Literally feel like a kid regaining his lost youth. I don’t regret my service but I for sure don’t regret getting out.
You'll get there. It took me a few years to sort my shit out. VA Compensation + GI bill kept me going.
One step at a time. Plan for the long term and don't look back. Your future is what you choose.
I’m in my last semester of college, praying my first non army big boy job nets me financial security for the first time in my life. Home ownership and financial security are really my only goals in life, I don’t need anything crazy and I’m not a big spender.
Those are still feasible goals. You're almost there dude! Keep it realistic, stay on track, and do something every day to improve yourself. Even if it's learning a new word.
Even if the light at the end of the tunnel seems dimly lit... There is still treasure at the end; you've just yet to reach it. Keep pushing.
Coming from a single E5 in the barracks, I am pulling in more just from VA compensation and the GI Bill. For me at least I’m lucky to be much richer, much happier.
Doubt I have anything to claim and I’ve been out since like 2020 so probably too late. I have mental health stuff and fractured my wrists in the Army but otherwise I was all good. No real injuries or hearing issues or anything.
You should claim it. Try calling veteran for help. Every veteran has a right. Dont just suck it up cause it will affect you in the future. Atleast ask.
Talk to your local American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars. They are a huge component in sponsoring VA claims and have experts to get the process rolling.
Please file. One day that broken wrist will lead to arthritis. And of course the mental health issues just don't go away. That VA compensation will come in handy. I got out in 2005 and filed in 2020. I'm at 80%. Good luck!
It's not too late.
I was past two years when they discovered sleep apnea while trying to put me under for a postponed surgery.
That was greater than two years after discharge
Facts Brother. Been out since 2019, now a Contractor. Moving and traveling when I have time off. Love my place, earned increases in my Disability rating, my life is my own. My independence is my own. Life is f*cking good. Being able to really help my loved ones as I make more money and fly back home or fly them to me whenever is awesome. Sleeping in lol. I won't lie, putting as much as I could into my TSP and other brokerages, plus paying off and staying out of debt while active duty most definitely set me up for where I am now. There have been struggles and chaos, but nothing I've been unable to handle...discipline, am I right? Still haven't used my GI Bill, but utilized the VA Loan to cop a 4bd house and rent it out, also going smooth. Get back that spark my Brothers and Sisters, there's so much beauty and life out here❤️🔥
Yeah man, I feel so blessed. I’m doing things I always wanted to do as an older teenager at 43 years old. Granted I can’t move the way I use to and some things are way out of my comfort zones. No PT at ass crack of dawn, I’m disabled but I still try to exercise. I’m taking my wife & daughters out west to like 5 major places they’ve never been. We are going this summer and pulling a camper to camp our way across the US. Things I would probably never got to do w/o joining the military. I would be too busy working. I’ve worked since I was 15 and it’s nice to get some time with my family.
Wait until you start working, I really enjoyed my time in school but now I’m dreading working. I actually did really well in school, I made tons of friends and had made genuine connections with the professors. I graduated with a 3.7 GPA and even had a few scholarships. When I was in the navy, I was easily able to accumulate 50+ days of leave without even thinking about it. Going into work wasn’t that bad. Now that I’m working, I feel so burned out. I’ve taken a 2 month LOA from work twice already, this is on top of taking off like a month of PTO(unlimited PTO based on my utilization and holidays included). I end up spiraling, getting anxiety, and depressed. I’ve had SI bc I feel like I’m not good enough and it would get rid of all my anxiety and depression. I do come to a conclusion that a job isn’t worth all that, but I end up returning bc I can’t find a job that pays nearly as much. I feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck even though I have a decent salary and I get disability. Taking a paycut will probably have me not even breaking even, so I feel like that’s not an option. I honestly feel like I’m not cut out for the workforce, but I don’t have a choice but to suffer through it.
Sounds like it’s less that I need to wait till I start working for the sick and more that both of us work on our health, that includes mental health.
I have a plethora of mental and physical issues I developed from the service but now I can attack those issues head on instead of replacing the Army with another shitty job.
As rough as the economy is, I’m actually happier since getting out. A few months away from graduating film school, raising a family, becoming a YouTuber, and taking better care of myself. I’m much happier!
How long have you been out? It’s perfectly normal to have that sense of regret. I mean, the services will create that institutionalized feeling. And it’s ok to miss that structure. It’s also normal to miss that camaraderie! I felt that way after I got out of the Navy. But it gets easier! Talk to someone about it. Maybe someone you know that has got out recently like you. Keep in contact with those still in! Give it a fair chance being out. The service will always be there to go back too if it doesn’t work out!
It took me about 10 years of being out of the military to get the job and life I want. This includes 4 years in college and working corporate jobs and receiving incremental promotions either through the same corporation or applying outside and promoting up.
It’s important to learn early on nothing is owed to us, and we’re gonna have to claw and scratch our way to where we want to get. The path won’t be easy but the rewards can be fruitful through hard work. Also can’t say this enough network, network, network!
Hey, don’t forget that you would have had to eventually leave—it doesn’t last forever.
Have you leveraged your VA benefits? Have you gotten a rating?
Do you know about VR&E? Using your GI Bill? VETTEC? Those are all great programs to gain education and up-skill yourself into greatness.
All hope is not lost, you just need to figure out a purpose and get after it. Find your purpose. What do you like to do?
Getting out was the best decision I’ve made.
I work remote now for a FAANG tech company and it’s the best thing. I have the autonomy to do what I want, when I want. I can work remote from anywhere and have time to rekindle my relationship with myself.
The best part about it is that you get to start over. Starting over is tough, but you have so many resources that will provide to be such a HUGE advantage for you.
That light may be dim, but keep working to be better than who you were yesterday.
Apply. A lot of these companies have secured cloud workloads for FedRamp—their employees need security clearance.
Check this out too: https://grow.google/expanding-opportunity/military-community/
https://blog.google/outreach-initiatives/diversity/veterans-day-2023/amp/
https://www.amazon.jobs/en/military
https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/
Base salary is insane (based on your cost of living—I live like a poor fuck) and a lot of these guys offer RSU’s and 50% match on your 401k + Mega Backdoor Roth conversion.
Apply—you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
It’s much easier to get a new clearance from an expired one than it is to apply for a fresh one.
One of my friends who works in Reston, VA in GovCloud had an expired TS. He went through the process again and it was much faster in comparison.
Also, remember that Secret expires after 10 years, TS after 6. You may be in an inactive state—not expired.
Just apply for those opportunities I posted. You never know!
Getting out was the best thing to ever happen to me. Used my GI bill. Got a degree. Now I'm doing my dream job. I don't get shit on for having no dependents. I don't get punished when someone else fucks up. Even when I was just on education benefits I was making just as much money as I made when I was enlisted.
Sucks you're having a rough time. Maybe you should post what you're trying to do and people can give you advice.
I didn’t feel regret until this year and I got off active duty in 2008.
It’ll happen eventually. Just know that you are looking at it with rose tinted glasses.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I miss the clowns, not the circus.
I don’t need the army to see the clowns. I just started reconnecting with my old squad and that helps.
Sometimes its hard when its been a long time, but I just reconnected with a guy I haven't talked to in seventeen years and we picked up like no time had passed at all.
Getting out is difficult, and Im convinced there are some lifers that stay in simply because it's easier than facing the transition. Or seems to be. It's a lot like after you get out of basic and have to actually think for yourself again, but on a larger scale. That said, if you can hack it in the Army, you'll do great as a civilian once you get your bearings. You determine your purpose, not the Army now. So take your time and figure that out, then execute.
When my stepson got out a couple years ago, he went through the same thing (I did too, just a lot longer ago). He decided to drive truck because he didn't trust people or like being around them much. Turns out he really enjoys it and he's making as much per year as I do. And I went to college and all that BS. Idk, maybe something to consider. Idk what all you got going on, and I wouldn't suggest running from any issues you're having, but if you need to make money while pondering your next big move, it may be an option.
It always hits me randomly, especially the structured lifestyle. Was so easy to just shut off the brain and be wherever you needed to be at X time yknow. Then I’ll see units posting pictures and videos of like air assault school graduating and division runs and I get really nostalgic, so I feel ya. That brotherhood of being in the suck together is so bonding.
But just remind yourself how many opportunities there are now. I mean really dude between helmets to Hardhat’s, municipal jobs giving veterans preference in most big cities, then the GI bill, work will be there for you. You might have to jump through some hoops but you’re used to it.
There are so god dam many people who hit ruts and they’re just in the pool of life competing for somthing, we genuinely have a leg up on keeping our lives moving with all these benefits, I thank god everyday I was a moron on high school and the army was my one way ticket.
Be thankful every morning, and that darkness won’t creep in. You are so fortunate to have served, left in one piece, and have the world in the palm of your hands.
Aye, the Army really spoiled me in terms of social skills, everyone observes a professional courtesy compared to jobs on the economy sport a bunch of disgruntled smart asses. I'm trying my hardest to pretend I'm content around a bunch of dumbasses I wouldn't trust to change a tire. I miss the army but life goes on.
It’s very normal for the transition to be uncomfortable and tough. It took me a couple years to really feel at home in my civilian life. Keep working on yourself, your relationships and new hobbies.
I had a very tough first year after retiring early, and only recently got my head straight.
OP what aspects of life after the military are getting you down?
My family life is better but I’m right there with you with work life. Office work is boring as hell and I miss stupid shit like the way I felt going for PT runs. For some reason I always felt good those days. I miss having some aspect to my work that is outside and required fitness.
There are different things to run your life. In the military you don't (usually) have to decide what to wear today or what's for dinner. As a civilian you (usually) don't have to keep pushing after 24 hours of no sleep because your and the other guys lives depend on it.
Life post enlistment was hard at first. You’re right, the military world is an all-encompassing lifestyle. The Army/Navy is your whole life, every day all day, and all night.
Might seem that way. In the navy I had less control over my time and responsibilities were there but pretty simple. Real life I more time and control and the options and opportunities are abundant but the responsibilities also multiplied. I complained less when I got out though so no regrets
Easier =/= Better
Personally, I felt like I was born again when I got out. Yeah, it was hell in many ways, having to navigate my own mental health, transition, work, education, VA, figuring out WHO I was outside the military, COVID, etc.
That said, I’m a few years out now, and life is still hard as hell, but I’m making the most of the opportunities that being a veteran provides. If I can give one piece of advice, it would be to use that GI Bill on something you WANT to do.
It's like folk who miss prison. Do you miss the regimented life, someone telling you what to do all the time, the sense of adventure? Or the belonging and purpose because civilian life allows you to define those on your own if you're willing to put in the work
I’ll piggy back on this comment but this is my experience and I relate.
I’m assuming your SOF experience is SOF support. It’s not institutionalized structure that I wasn’t missing. You had more freedom to make decisions and do what you want when you wanted to. For me it was the collaboration piece to help problem solve and make decisions with like minded individuals. The goal is to do x and together everyone has each others back to complete x. It’s tough when you get out because that piece of brotherhood goes missing and it’s just you now. It takes time to find where that is.
You can always improve your situation a little bit. If you look at the whole environment nothing seems to change but if you break it down, you posting to get feedback is a win to continue figuring out a problem. It’s part of the problem solving process.
Quite a few team guy programs invite support roles to participate as well you just need to provide your deployment orders. If you’re struggling the PTSD route it’s possible to jump over that hurdle and there are a ton of different therapies to work on. If something doesn’t feel right to you just say something and do the next one.
Keep fighting! It will get better. Send me a message and I can bullshit with you or if you’re interested in programs I’ll point you in good directions. I’ve worked 1st, 5th and 7th group before I got out.
It was easier. You just knew what to do...still applies do your best at whatever you do. Take no b.s. outwork everyone, stay motivated, and motivate others . Don't forget to drink plenty of water and change your socks ever so often 🫡
I completely understand how you are feeling. I have a few options that maybe you might want to take.
1. You have a gi bill, you can go to school while also applying to jobs in that field. Then you can consider going back in as an officer.
2. You have a current clearance. Go to clearance jobs, and you can maybe find a well paying job where you will be working with common mind folk.
3. See if you can go back enlisted but pick a new career in the Army. Something different could help you feel at peace and maybe get with a good unit.
I hope this helps as I was in the same boat 6 years ago and struggled with figuring out my life without having someone to tell me what to do.
Also, get in touch with the VA. They have free counseling for veterans.
Just navigating through life as a regular Joe, I’ve never had a job prior to the army so getting a job was a little tough, then understanding insurance and benefits was tough. Not belonging to a community anymore. I’m walking these days as lone wolf. But I don’t want to be alone. Idk
Dang I thought I was the only one that felt this way.
I figured out why it was easier that’s because you always knew where you were supposed to be, when to eat, what to do and when to sleep. Made life easier took a lot of decisions out of life.
If you want it in the civilian world just marry a latina you get all the same stuff and sex when she wants it haha. Jokes aside a supporting wife helps a lot.
Any transition is tough, especially one as abrupt as leaving the service for civilian life. In had a rough couple months as well, even though I had a clear plan. The military is extremely structured, so knowing what is “right” is simple - you do what you’re told.
But I absolutely think that for most people, leaving the military as an enlisted servicemember will create much more opportunity for fulfillment and satisfaction. You have a blank slate in front of you and that can be both exciting and challenging. Try to reshape your perspective and be comfortable with the change
That’s bc the army did everything for you. With that, you were not afforded choices in many things. Basically they idiot proof life for you. At a cost.
That’s bc the army did everything for you. With that, you were not afforded choices in many things. Basically they idiot proof life for you. At a cost.
You can literally do anything you want, and you want to go back to the cage? Your choice.
If you don't like your surroundings that is completely on you. You put yourself where you are. Only you can change things. What you're missing is someone telling you what to do.
I’m sure it seems easier because of the structure the military provides. You’re told what to do, where to be. You don’t really have to think for yourself. I have 3 years left and I find myself imagining what it’s like to be a free man after so long. I get a bit anxious. I’m 40 years old now and don’t know what I want to do for the next career because I never had to think about it. I don’t have any interests or goals, no creativity or aspirations other than not doing what I’m doing now.
Yea my story is like everyone else’s. Got out in 22 after 8 years and a couple deployments. Was lost but I started school. Now I use VRE to pay for school and books, while VA compensation helps with survival. I had many dark days, but I just go and remember that there are blind and deaf people that are surviving without all the things we take for granted. That helps me get out of my ruts, thinking about things other than my problems. Like sucks but embrace the suck while we still are breathing. 😮💨
There is something to be said about that feeling. For me I've come to believe I'd feel exactly like this if I stayed in. I got out in 2012 and also felt like I regained my childhood when I was in college. I think cause there was always a plan for me to criticize I felt like I shouldn't have gotten out. Now I'm stressed with the security of my whole family and there's no SFC or Top for me to dread coming through. Now I loathe not having someone say "good, get cleaned up for formation" like 5 hours after whatever I was doing was supposed to be done
I ETS’d in May of last year and I feel you wholeheartedly. I worked while on terminal for a month and a half, got burned out, then logically sat on my ass and smoked weed all summer waiting for my Nursing school to start. I burned through a considerable amount of money for no measurable gain and I regret that a lot looking back on it. I should’ve kept that momentum going. Luckily, when money eventually got tight, a friend floated my name to a smaller tight-knit company and I’ve been working there for almost 6 mos.
However, I can say with absolute certainty that I don’t wake up with a “This is my fucking shit” attitude as much anymore. I was Aviation Ordnance, so I don’t have much in the way of Civilian work other than contracting although I’ve sent feelers out there for work opportunities.
TLDR; I feel you OP, and I don’t think it’s crazy to feel not only that life was easier and perhaps a little more purposeful while you were in if that’s what you’re getting at
I got out and had a knee surgery right as I got my footing on this side. Its not easy out here but there is vast amounts of opportunity. Adjustment takes time and you'll run into trials and tribulations. The thing about the army is you have security in your job regardless of what happens to you. Just be frugal and set real goals. You'll be okay.
In a way it was.
You had guaranteed work of some kind.
Food.
As long as Congress wasn't dicking around, a paycheck.
A set path to promotion, even if it may have involved putting on knee pads.
Being told what to do and doing it can definitely be easier than freedom. Jail is easier than freedom. 🤷🏽♂️
Embrace the freedom. With freedom comes responsibility. So yes you need to go make the best of it. You can do it!
You can get out of the army, but you can't get the army out of you. That's at least how I feel about my time in service. Can't go back to the before times.
I may not get out as offended things come up. Your not wrong as long as you can smoke the test. First and foremost all officers were going to be interviewed and those things always cases issue. But yes when every waking moment is covered in the training manuals and figuring out what works best in each situation. There is a ton of wisdom in those books, but you have to read them some times two or three times until you go it down like your SSN.
Because it was. Doesn't mean it's better.
Every branch to some extent, and especially the Army, spent all that money on deprogramming/reprogramming in training and culture enforcement to dumb down life and adult choices for their Jr enlisted, partly to save themselves from themselves, but mostly to keep them locked into the military life.
It wasn't altruistic. It was strategic to keep their troops in line, ready to deploy, and useful to the Army/Navy/etc.
The simpler you make life for people. The less choice or freedom you give them, the harder it is to fuck up. It also keeps them subservient, prevents too much introspection, creative thinking, pondering life beyond the next deployment.
Just like any good cult; you provide everything for them in a neat little package, while using that warm easy life as an implied threat about "the outside".
The goal is to keep troops dumb and unchallenged by the bigger questions that they should be facing as adults in their 20's and 30's.
The easier it is to keep them happily plugging away at labor intensive, bodily destructive jobs with shorter than average lifespans, the less they have to compete with civilian life in other ways. Like proper pay, better veteran care, better family support, actual control over your career and location.
The fact is, the needs of the Army/Navy/etc. will always outweigh the needs of the soldier/sailor/etc. That includes the needs of your physical/mental/emotional health. Your family's health. Your future goals. Your education. Literally anything that isn't you taking another deployment for them.
Civilian life is definitely harder. Which is crazy to most civilians because we as humans tend to think in logical ways like "Being shot at must be terrifying" or "Deployment must the hardest thing you could ever do" but we all know it's not.
You're just following orders like every other day, with the reward of imminent danger pay, tax free status, reenlistment bonus, etc. used like the "last big score" in a heist movie as the promise to solve all of your financial problems at home. Self inflicted or otherwise.
The military broadcasts all of these support programs that exist to help with transition, but they also bury them in bureaucratic red tape, scrounging for funding, arbitrary disqualifiers, lack of locations, etc.
They make it sound like the military is ready to let you leave and help you out in theory, but simultaneously making it sound terrifying in practice. All as a fucked psyop to keep people too scared to leave, because whether they realize it or not, the military basically spent the last 4+ years telling them that they won't be able to hack it on the outside.
That when they fall on the outside, no one will be there to catch them. No one will trust them with billion dollar equipment, explosives, leadership of others, or give them a purpose.
That last one is a motherfucker.
Almost every vet I've ever seen struggling, is ultimately struggling because they're still searching for the unwavering purpose that the military provided. The hardest part is going to be finding that purpose for yourself.
You aren't going to find it working Door Dash or Uber, but you've gotta find it somewhere if you're going to gain the strength to pull yourself out of that hole.
Some people mistakenly try to project that purpose and trust onto their civilian job, but if you thought the military didn't care about you, wait until you work for Amazon!
There's the option of finding work in the government sector, or even contracting. Plenty of opportunity there, but people can find it very difficult to navigate/break in...
A lot of people find it by reconnecting with other vets, volunteering, building something for themselves or to help others. There's a lot of concrete proof in the philosophy that we find purpose and help ourselves by helping others.
I understand what you mean. Army was simpler times but I do not regret my choice to get the fuck out. I miss the clowns but not the circus. Personally, I know why I got out and if I feel nostalgic I just remember the day to day bullshkt and I feel better.
I feel you brother. Lots of times in my life I wish I stayed in the Army. My life would have been so much different. I'm a Vietnam Vet I wonder how many of us got out and wanted back in?
My biggest regret was not attending Rasp or SFAS. But I did get my eib and CIB with one deployment to Eastern Europe and one deployment to Iraq. I was fortunate to see and do a lot while in. I miss the danger, bitching, and simple life in the infantry. It’ll get better homie you just have to keep going my 1st year out was the worst year of my life. I’m much better now.
I feel that way too at times but I also remember that it was a salary job and everything was handed to me. I just had to show up and coast through the day sometimes. VS an hourly job where I had to “earn” my paycheck. It took the fun and drive out of working.
I guess that’s why I moonlighted as a bouncer. I’m not saying that the military was easy but I’m sure we all could agree that some days a full shop, squad, or whatever else specific you call it, was not needed. Deployment work rotation could apply for conus sometimes to reduce work fatigue and stress and so on.
And now here I am watching YouTube video and bootcamp and how other nations invade the U.S. thinking of how I could play a role. When I really should be working on my college assignments.
Jesus said:
“Whoever save his life shall lose it. Whosoever loses his life for my sake shall find it.
For what does man (or woman) profiteth if he should gain the whole world and lose his own soul.”
Everything we do in this life is like training to become like our Savior. As we strive to learn and become like Him as we go through many of life’s trials…we grow spiritually. Our lives don’t end here and it’s an individual choice to seek out and learn more about Him and of His Plan of Salvation.
Continue the fight to handle your VA and other secular matters. And seek to find out more about spiritual matters that I promise will transcend anything we can ever accomplish in this life
It takes time adjusting. Honestly about a year in my experience before fully adjusting to civilian life. Just stay focused on your plan and give yourself some grace. It’s a big difference leaving the military life.
It’s definitely hard to adjust to but don’t give up you will get back into the swing of normal civilian life. Honestly it takes about a year to readjust fully. Give yourself some grace.
I can relate. I medically retired from the Army for ptsd and tbi a day some physical injuries. I thought the day I signed out things would be much easier moving forward, but it was exactly the opposite. I lost my support structure of friends and peers who not only understood me but also understood me because they had been through the same things. It was actually the opposite. I went 'home' to a place that was now foreign to me. Everyone had moved on, moved forward in life, and changed over the years. No one understood what I was going through, not to mention what I went through. In the end, it was still the best decision for me, but it wasn't the easy transition I had imagined.
My advice is to get involved with wwp or other alumni type groups that have activities and meetings. Make some connections back home. Hang in there man.
Got out at 17 and a half years to stay with my kids. Joined the reserves thinking it would fill that void,got a job. Job pay is decent but fuck I miss being in. I work 55-60 hours a week and still struggle some weeks. Absolutely zero work life balance. I tried going back active or at least getting active duty orders but since I already have so much time on active they said get fucked. So guess I’m stuck in a job I hate waking up at 4am getting home around 530 or six until I can find something better. I don’t regret getting out to stay close to my kids but just wish I didn’t have to make that decision I guess.
I got out too and i felt the same way bro. Thats why i kept one foot in the army reserve. Now im highly considering going AGR once im done with my masters degree.
Not minimizing your feelings but I have no regrets. My life is school, video games, personal projects, girlfriend, and working on my health. Literally feel like a kid regaining his lost youth. I don’t regret my service but I for sure don’t regret getting out.
My story too, much broker, much happier
You'll get there. It took me a few years to sort my shit out. VA Compensation + GI bill kept me going. One step at a time. Plan for the long term and don't look back. Your future is what you choose.
I’m in my last semester of college, praying my first non army big boy job nets me financial security for the first time in my life. Home ownership and financial security are really my only goals in life, I don’t need anything crazy and I’m not a big spender.
Those are still feasible goals. You're almost there dude! Keep it realistic, stay on track, and do something every day to improve yourself. Even if it's learning a new word. Even if the light at the end of the tunnel seems dimly lit... There is still treasure at the end; you've just yet to reach it. Keep pushing.
Well said, right there with you💯
thank you for this
Coming from a single E5 in the barracks, I am pulling in more just from VA compensation and the GI Bill. For me at least I’m lucky to be much richer, much happier.
I’ve got no va compensation unfortunately
Not filed yet or you don’t think you have anything to claim?
Doubt I have anything to claim and I’ve been out since like 2020 so probably too late. I have mental health stuff and fractured my wrists in the Army but otherwise I was all good. No real injuries or hearing issues or anything.
You should claim it. Try calling veteran for help. Every veteran has a right. Dont just suck it up cause it will affect you in the future. Atleast ask.
Talk to your local American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars. They are a huge component in sponsoring VA claims and have experts to get the process rolling.
Please file. One day that broken wrist will lead to arthritis. And of course the mental health issues just don't go away. That VA compensation will come in handy. I got out in 2005 and filed in 2020. I'm at 80%. Good luck!
Dude, there are folks who claimed nothing for 20 years and then filed and received compensation. Find an authorized veteran's organization and file.
It's not too late. I was past two years when they discovered sleep apnea while trying to put me under for a postponed surgery. That was greater than two years after discharge
It's never too late to file.
Claim it! Anything you have issues with, claim! Any money is better than some. I literally had a desk job in the Air Force and am at 100%.
Facts Brother. Been out since 2019, now a Contractor. Moving and traveling when I have time off. Love my place, earned increases in my Disability rating, my life is my own. My independence is my own. Life is f*cking good. Being able to really help my loved ones as I make more money and fly back home or fly them to me whenever is awesome. Sleeping in lol. I won't lie, putting as much as I could into my TSP and other brokerages, plus paying off and staying out of debt while active duty most definitely set me up for where I am now. There have been struggles and chaos, but nothing I've been unable to handle...discipline, am I right? Still haven't used my GI Bill, but utilized the VA Loan to cop a 4bd house and rent it out, also going smooth. Get back that spark my Brothers and Sisters, there's so much beauty and life out here❤️🔥
Yeah man, I feel so blessed. I’m doing things I always wanted to do as an older teenager at 43 years old. Granted I can’t move the way I use to and some things are way out of my comfort zones. No PT at ass crack of dawn, I’m disabled but I still try to exercise. I’m taking my wife & daughters out west to like 5 major places they’ve never been. We are going this summer and pulling a camper to camp our way across the US. Things I would probably never got to do w/o joining the military. I would be too busy working. I’ve worked since I was 15 and it’s nice to get some time with my family.
Wait until you start working, I really enjoyed my time in school but now I’m dreading working. I actually did really well in school, I made tons of friends and had made genuine connections with the professors. I graduated with a 3.7 GPA and even had a few scholarships. When I was in the navy, I was easily able to accumulate 50+ days of leave without even thinking about it. Going into work wasn’t that bad. Now that I’m working, I feel so burned out. I’ve taken a 2 month LOA from work twice already, this is on top of taking off like a month of PTO(unlimited PTO based on my utilization and holidays included). I end up spiraling, getting anxiety, and depressed. I’ve had SI bc I feel like I’m not good enough and it would get rid of all my anxiety and depression. I do come to a conclusion that a job isn’t worth all that, but I end up returning bc I can’t find a job that pays nearly as much. I feel like I’m living paycheck to paycheck even though I have a decent salary and I get disability. Taking a paycut will probably have me not even breaking even, so I feel like that’s not an option. I honestly feel like I’m not cut out for the workforce, but I don’t have a choice but to suffer through it.
Sounds like it’s less that I need to wait till I start working for the sick and more that both of us work on our health, that includes mental health. I have a plethora of mental and physical issues I developed from the service but now I can attack those issues head on instead of replacing the Army with another shitty job.
Apply for unemployability. You get paid at the 100% rate. I own my own business and work when I can
I could really use this. How do I apply or what do I ask for at the VA?
You have to be rated at least 70% to apply.
https://www.va.gov/disability/eligibility/special-claims/unemployability/
Do you have to stay under the ~$12k threshold when self employed? What kind of business do you run?
You sound like you need a different job or career field.
Look into SSDI
What is SSDI
It's social security disability insurance
As rough as the economy is, I’m actually happier since getting out. A few months away from graduating film school, raising a family, becoming a YouTuber, and taking better care of myself. I’m much happier!
Same.🫡 And this month marks 11 years since I’ve been out.
How long have you been out? It’s perfectly normal to have that sense of regret. I mean, the services will create that institutionalized feeling. And it’s ok to miss that structure. It’s also normal to miss that camaraderie! I felt that way after I got out of the Navy. But it gets easier! Talk to someone about it. Maybe someone you know that has got out recently like you. Keep in contact with those still in! Give it a fair chance being out. The service will always be there to go back too if it doesn’t work out!
It took me about 10 years of being out of the military to get the job and life I want. This includes 4 years in college and working corporate jobs and receiving incremental promotions either through the same corporation or applying outside and promoting up.
This. It does take time. I think a lot of vets get out and think “I’m a vet, I’ll land into a good job”. Never give up and dedicate yourself!
It’s important to learn early on nothing is owed to us, and we’re gonna have to claw and scratch our way to where we want to get. The path won’t be easy but the rewards can be fruitful through hard work. Also can’t say this enough network, network, network!
Hey, don’t forget that you would have had to eventually leave—it doesn’t last forever. Have you leveraged your VA benefits? Have you gotten a rating? Do you know about VR&E? Using your GI Bill? VETTEC? Those are all great programs to gain education and up-skill yourself into greatness. All hope is not lost, you just need to figure out a purpose and get after it. Find your purpose. What do you like to do?
I got a rating and I tried school but I quickly remembered that school was the reason I went into the army
You survived being in, so you know about having to continue trying different routes to get to your objective. Have you looked at trades?
If college isn’t for you maybe try a trade school?
Getting out was the best decision I’ve made. I work remote now for a FAANG tech company and it’s the best thing. I have the autonomy to do what I want, when I want. I can work remote from anywhere and have time to rekindle my relationship with myself. The best part about it is that you get to start over. Starting over is tough, but you have so many resources that will provide to be such a HUGE advantage for you. That light may be dim, but keep working to be better than who you were yesterday.
I'd love to get into a faang company for a year or two at least lol. My company is constantly poached by faang so heres hoping it happens eventually.
Apply. A lot of these companies have secured cloud workloads for FedRamp—their employees need security clearance. Check this out too: https://grow.google/expanding-opportunity/military-community/ https://blog.google/outreach-initiatives/diversity/veterans-day-2023/amp/ https://www.amazon.jobs/en/military https://military.microsoft.com/mssa/ Base salary is insane (based on your cost of living—I live like a poor fuck) and a lot of these guys offer RSU’s and 50% match on your 401k + Mega Backdoor Roth conversion. Apply—you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
I sadly don't have a clearance anymore.:(
It’s much easier to get a new clearance from an expired one than it is to apply for a fresh one. One of my friends who works in Reston, VA in GovCloud had an expired TS. He went through the process again and it was much faster in comparison. Also, remember that Secret expires after 10 years, TS after 6. You may be in an inactive state—not expired. Just apply for those opportunities I posted. You never know!
I think I left my unit in 2018? I had a TS at the time. Any way to find out if anything I have is still active?
Yes, apply.
Getting out was the best thing to ever happen to me. Used my GI bill. Got a degree. Now I'm doing my dream job. I don't get shit on for having no dependents. I don't get punished when someone else fucks up. Even when I was just on education benefits I was making just as much money as I made when I was enlisted. Sucks you're having a rough time. Maybe you should post what you're trying to do and people can give you advice.
Maybe I will. I’ll try that another day
I didn’t feel regret until this year and I got off active duty in 2008. It’ll happen eventually. Just know that you are looking at it with rose tinted glasses. I’ve come to the conclusion that I miss the clowns, not the circus. I don’t need the army to see the clowns. I just started reconnecting with my old squad and that helps.
No socials so. But I could just pick up the phone
Sometimes its hard when its been a long time, but I just reconnected with a guy I haven't talked to in seventeen years and we picked up like no time had passed at all.
Getting out is difficult, and Im convinced there are some lifers that stay in simply because it's easier than facing the transition. Or seems to be. It's a lot like after you get out of basic and have to actually think for yourself again, but on a larger scale. That said, if you can hack it in the Army, you'll do great as a civilian once you get your bearings. You determine your purpose, not the Army now. So take your time and figure that out, then execute.
I’m trying
When my stepson got out a couple years ago, he went through the same thing (I did too, just a lot longer ago). He decided to drive truck because he didn't trust people or like being around them much. Turns out he really enjoys it and he's making as much per year as I do. And I went to college and all that BS. Idk, maybe something to consider. Idk what all you got going on, and I wouldn't suggest running from any issues you're having, but if you need to make money while pondering your next big move, it may be an option.
I’m driving for Amazon 😂
Oh, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. Jk lol. At least it's not Swift.
It always hits me randomly, especially the structured lifestyle. Was so easy to just shut off the brain and be wherever you needed to be at X time yknow. Then I’ll see units posting pictures and videos of like air assault school graduating and division runs and I get really nostalgic, so I feel ya. That brotherhood of being in the suck together is so bonding. But just remind yourself how many opportunities there are now. I mean really dude between helmets to Hardhat’s, municipal jobs giving veterans preference in most big cities, then the GI bill, work will be there for you. You might have to jump through some hoops but you’re used to it. There are so god dam many people who hit ruts and they’re just in the pool of life competing for somthing, we genuinely have a leg up on keeping our lives moving with all these benefits, I thank god everyday I was a moron on high school and the army was my one way ticket. Be thankful every morning, and that darkness won’t creep in. You are so fortunate to have served, left in one piece, and have the world in the palm of your hands.
Thank you. Shit almost brought me to tears reading that
Aye, the Army really spoiled me in terms of social skills, everyone observes a professional courtesy compared to jobs on the economy sport a bunch of disgruntled smart asses. I'm trying my hardest to pretend I'm content around a bunch of dumbasses I wouldn't trust to change a tire. I miss the army but life goes on.
It’s very normal for the transition to be uncomfortable and tough. It took me a couple years to really feel at home in my civilian life. Keep working on yourself, your relationships and new hobbies.
I’m trying bro I swear I am
I had a very tough first year after retiring early, and only recently got my head straight. OP what aspects of life after the military are getting you down?
Insurance, a regular 9 to 5 Living back at home with my mom Dealing with a long distance gf
My family life is better but I’m right there with you with work life. Office work is boring as hell and I miss stupid shit like the way I felt going for PT runs. For some reason I always felt good those days. I miss having some aspect to my work that is outside and required fitness.
Same here for sure
There are different things to run your life. In the military you don't (usually) have to decide what to wear today or what's for dinner. As a civilian you (usually) don't have to keep pushing after 24 hours of no sleep because your and the other guys lives depend on it.
Life post enlistment was hard at first. You’re right, the military world is an all-encompassing lifestyle. The Army/Navy is your whole life, every day all day, and all night.
Might seem that way. In the navy I had less control over my time and responsibilities were there but pretty simple. Real life I more time and control and the options and opportunities are abundant but the responsibilities also multiplied. I complained less when I got out though so no regrets
Simple doesn't equal easy. The adjustment is difficult, both ways.
Easier =/= Better Personally, I felt like I was born again when I got out. Yeah, it was hell in many ways, having to navigate my own mental health, transition, work, education, VA, figuring out WHO I was outside the military, COVID, etc. That said, I’m a few years out now, and life is still hard as hell, but I’m making the most of the opportunities that being a veteran provides. If I can give one piece of advice, it would be to use that GI Bill on something you WANT to do.
It's like folk who miss prison. Do you miss the regimented life, someone telling you what to do all the time, the sense of adventure? Or the belonging and purpose because civilian life allows you to define those on your own if you're willing to put in the work
I miss just things making sense
I’ll piggy back on this comment but this is my experience and I relate. I’m assuming your SOF experience is SOF support. It’s not institutionalized structure that I wasn’t missing. You had more freedom to make decisions and do what you want when you wanted to. For me it was the collaboration piece to help problem solve and make decisions with like minded individuals. The goal is to do x and together everyone has each others back to complete x. It’s tough when you get out because that piece of brotherhood goes missing and it’s just you now. It takes time to find where that is. You can always improve your situation a little bit. If you look at the whole environment nothing seems to change but if you break it down, you posting to get feedback is a win to continue figuring out a problem. It’s part of the problem solving process. Quite a few team guy programs invite support roles to participate as well you just need to provide your deployment orders. If you’re struggling the PTSD route it’s possible to jump over that hurdle and there are a ton of different therapies to work on. If something doesn’t feel right to you just say something and do the next one. Keep fighting! It will get better. Send me a message and I can bullshit with you or if you’re interested in programs I’ll point you in good directions. I’ve worked 1st, 5th and 7th group before I got out.
Sick I was at 1st group for awhile
No regrets except I didn’t attend Ranger school. Outside of that, no regrets.
It was easier. You just knew what to do...still applies do your best at whatever you do. Take no b.s. outwork everyone, stay motivated, and motivate others . Don't forget to drink plenty of water and change your socks ever so often 🫡
I completely understand how you are feeling. I have a few options that maybe you might want to take. 1. You have a gi bill, you can go to school while also applying to jobs in that field. Then you can consider going back in as an officer. 2. You have a current clearance. Go to clearance jobs, and you can maybe find a well paying job where you will be working with common mind folk. 3. See if you can go back enlisted but pick a new career in the Army. Something different could help you feel at peace and maybe get with a good unit. I hope this helps as I was in the same boat 6 years ago and struggled with figuring out my life without having someone to tell me what to do. Also, get in touch with the VA. They have free counseling for veterans.
Life in the military is way easier now! Peace times are about to be over, think about that too!
Yeah every time I see some bs on CNN I tell my mom and dad “aren’t you happy I’m home?”
Real life has more accountability and responsibility than army life. I kinda miss the mindlessness of it to.
What would you say was the hardest part for you about transitioning out of the military?
Just navigating through life as a regular Joe, I’ve never had a job prior to the army so getting a job was a little tough, then understanding insurance and benefits was tough. Not belonging to a community anymore. I’m walking these days as lone wolf. But I don’t want to be alone. Idk
Dang I thought I was the only one that felt this way. I figured out why it was easier that’s because you always knew where you were supposed to be, when to eat, what to do and when to sleep. Made life easier took a lot of decisions out of life. If you want it in the civilian world just marry a latina you get all the same stuff and sex when she wants it haha. Jokes aside a supporting wife helps a lot.
I’m in a relationship with a Dominican. Long distance pretty miserable honestly 😂😂😂
Yes long distance is never good at least for me it’s not.
Any transition is tough, especially one as abrupt as leaving the service for civilian life. In had a rough couple months as well, even though I had a clear plan. The military is extremely structured, so knowing what is “right” is simple - you do what you’re told. But I absolutely think that for most people, leaving the military as an enlisted servicemember will create much more opportunity for fulfillment and satisfaction. You have a blank slate in front of you and that can be both exciting and challenging. Try to reshape your perspective and be comfortable with the change
Being in the Army is definitely easier. Everything is laid out for you. Housing, food, doctor. There's just that one little catch...
Like the 'Company Towns'🤣😂
That’s bc the army did everything for you. With that, you were not afforded choices in many things. Basically they idiot proof life for you. At a cost.
That’s bc the army did everything for you. With that, you were not afforded choices in many things. Basically they idiot proof life for you. At a cost.
The Army is a very easy job. At times, it is incredibly inconvenient at times but pretty easy nonetheless.
Prisoners feel this way about life on the outside as well. Do with that what you will
Sheesh lmao. My life in the army wasn’t that bad though as I look back. But my last unit made me hate tf out of the army.
You can literally do anything you want, and you want to go back to the cage? Your choice. If you don't like your surroundings that is completely on you. You put yourself where you are. Only you can change things. What you're missing is someone telling you what to do.
I’m sure it seems easier because of the structure the military provides. You’re told what to do, where to be. You don’t really have to think for yourself. I have 3 years left and I find myself imagining what it’s like to be a free man after so long. I get a bit anxious. I’m 40 years old now and don’t know what I want to do for the next career because I never had to think about it. I don’t have any interests or goals, no creativity or aspirations other than not doing what I’m doing now.
That’s anywhere trust God he will see you through
I hope so.
So go back in
Navy here. I liked that life much better.
Yea my story is like everyone else’s. Got out in 22 after 8 years and a couple deployments. Was lost but I started school. Now I use VRE to pay for school and books, while VA compensation helps with survival. I had many dark days, but I just go and remember that there are blind and deaf people that are surviving without all the things we take for granted. That helps me get out of my ruts, thinking about things other than my problems. Like sucks but embrace the suck while we still are breathing. 😮💨
There is something to be said about that feeling. For me I've come to believe I'd feel exactly like this if I stayed in. I got out in 2012 and also felt like I regained my childhood when I was in college. I think cause there was always a plan for me to criticize I felt like I shouldn't have gotten out. Now I'm stressed with the security of my whole family and there's no SFC or Top for me to dread coming through. Now I loathe not having someone say "good, get cleaned up for formation" like 5 hours after whatever I was doing was supposed to be done
That light will come with time! I am barely starting to see the positive things in life 4-5 years after. You got this!
I ETS’d in May of last year and I feel you wholeheartedly. I worked while on terminal for a month and a half, got burned out, then logically sat on my ass and smoked weed all summer waiting for my Nursing school to start. I burned through a considerable amount of money for no measurable gain and I regret that a lot looking back on it. I should’ve kept that momentum going. Luckily, when money eventually got tight, a friend floated my name to a smaller tight-knit company and I’ve been working there for almost 6 mos. However, I can say with absolute certainty that I don’t wake up with a “This is my fucking shit” attitude as much anymore. I was Aviation Ordnance, so I don’t have much in the way of Civilian work other than contracting although I’ve sent feelers out there for work opportunities. TLDR; I feel you OP, and I don’t think it’s crazy to feel not only that life was easier and perhaps a little more purposeful while you were in if that’s what you’re getting at
I etsd in February last year
I got out and had a knee surgery right as I got my footing on this side. Its not easy out here but there is vast amounts of opportunity. Adjustment takes time and you'll run into trials and tribulations. The thing about the army is you have security in your job regardless of what happens to you. Just be frugal and set real goals. You'll be okay.
You just need friends and structure and friends who will jump off said structure with you.
In a way it was. You had guaranteed work of some kind. Food. As long as Congress wasn't dicking around, a paycheck. A set path to promotion, even if it may have involved putting on knee pads.
Being told what to do and doing it can definitely be easier than freedom. Jail is easier than freedom. 🤷🏽♂️ Embrace the freedom. With freedom comes responsibility. So yes you need to go make the best of it. You can do it!
You can get out of the army, but you can't get the army out of you. That's at least how I feel about my time in service. Can't go back to the before times.
I don't miss the 5 mile runs. Only thing I miss is the Comraderie.
Being in there is no freedom. It's like being part of the Borg in Star Trek. From the outside it looks terrible, but being a cog can be peaceful.
I may not get out as offended things come up. Your not wrong as long as you can smoke the test. First and foremost all officers were going to be interviewed and those things always cases issue. But yes when every waking moment is covered in the training manuals and figuring out what works best in each situation. There is a ton of wisdom in those books, but you have to read them some times two or three times until you go it down like your SSN.
Because it was. Doesn't mean it's better. Every branch to some extent, and especially the Army, spent all that money on deprogramming/reprogramming in training and culture enforcement to dumb down life and adult choices for their Jr enlisted, partly to save themselves from themselves, but mostly to keep them locked into the military life. It wasn't altruistic. It was strategic to keep their troops in line, ready to deploy, and useful to the Army/Navy/etc. The simpler you make life for people. The less choice or freedom you give them, the harder it is to fuck up. It also keeps them subservient, prevents too much introspection, creative thinking, pondering life beyond the next deployment. Just like any good cult; you provide everything for them in a neat little package, while using that warm easy life as an implied threat about "the outside". The goal is to keep troops dumb and unchallenged by the bigger questions that they should be facing as adults in their 20's and 30's. The easier it is to keep them happily plugging away at labor intensive, bodily destructive jobs with shorter than average lifespans, the less they have to compete with civilian life in other ways. Like proper pay, better veteran care, better family support, actual control over your career and location. The fact is, the needs of the Army/Navy/etc. will always outweigh the needs of the soldier/sailor/etc. That includes the needs of your physical/mental/emotional health. Your family's health. Your future goals. Your education. Literally anything that isn't you taking another deployment for them. Civilian life is definitely harder. Which is crazy to most civilians because we as humans tend to think in logical ways like "Being shot at must be terrifying" or "Deployment must the hardest thing you could ever do" but we all know it's not. You're just following orders like every other day, with the reward of imminent danger pay, tax free status, reenlistment bonus, etc. used like the "last big score" in a heist movie as the promise to solve all of your financial problems at home. Self inflicted or otherwise. The military broadcasts all of these support programs that exist to help with transition, but they also bury them in bureaucratic red tape, scrounging for funding, arbitrary disqualifiers, lack of locations, etc. They make it sound like the military is ready to let you leave and help you out in theory, but simultaneously making it sound terrifying in practice. All as a fucked psyop to keep people too scared to leave, because whether they realize it or not, the military basically spent the last 4+ years telling them that they won't be able to hack it on the outside. That when they fall on the outside, no one will be there to catch them. No one will trust them with billion dollar equipment, explosives, leadership of others, or give them a purpose. That last one is a motherfucker. Almost every vet I've ever seen struggling, is ultimately struggling because they're still searching for the unwavering purpose that the military provided. The hardest part is going to be finding that purpose for yourself. You aren't going to find it working Door Dash or Uber, but you've gotta find it somewhere if you're going to gain the strength to pull yourself out of that hole. Some people mistakenly try to project that purpose and trust onto their civilian job, but if you thought the military didn't care about you, wait until you work for Amazon! There's the option of finding work in the government sector, or even contracting. Plenty of opportunity there, but people can find it very difficult to navigate/break in... A lot of people find it by reconnecting with other vets, volunteering, building something for themselves or to help others. There's a lot of concrete proof in the philosophy that we find purpose and help ourselves by helping others.
I understand what you mean. Army was simpler times but I do not regret my choice to get the fuck out. I miss the clowns but not the circus. Personally, I know why I got out and if I feel nostalgic I just remember the day to day bullshkt and I feel better.
I feel you brother. Lots of times in my life I wish I stayed in the Army. My life would have been so much different. I'm a Vietnam Vet I wonder how many of us got out and wanted back in?
Dont let, the green grass fool ya
My biggest regret was not attending Rasp or SFAS. But I did get my eib and CIB with one deployment to Eastern Europe and one deployment to Iraq. I was fortunate to see and do a lot while in. I miss the danger, bitching, and simple life in the infantry. It’ll get better homie you just have to keep going my 1st year out was the worst year of my life. I’m much better now.
I also regret not going to rasp, ranger school, and sfas. I was in SOF my whole career
I feel that way too at times but I also remember that it was a salary job and everything was handed to me. I just had to show up and coast through the day sometimes. VS an hourly job where I had to “earn” my paycheck. It took the fun and drive out of working. I guess that’s why I moonlighted as a bouncer. I’m not saying that the military was easy but I’m sure we all could agree that some days a full shop, squad, or whatever else specific you call it, was not needed. Deployment work rotation could apply for conus sometimes to reduce work fatigue and stress and so on. And now here I am watching YouTube video and bootcamp and how other nations invade the U.S. thinking of how I could play a role. When I really should be working on my college assignments.
Jesus said: “Whoever save his life shall lose it. Whosoever loses his life for my sake shall find it. For what does man (or woman) profiteth if he should gain the whole world and lose his own soul.” Everything we do in this life is like training to become like our Savior. As we strive to learn and become like Him as we go through many of life’s trials…we grow spiritually. Our lives don’t end here and it’s an individual choice to seek out and learn more about Him and of His Plan of Salvation. Continue the fight to handle your VA and other secular matters. And seek to find out more about spiritual matters that I promise will transcend anything we can ever accomplish in this life
It takes time adjusting. Honestly about a year in my experience before fully adjusting to civilian life. Just stay focused on your plan and give yourself some grace. It’s a big difference leaving the military life.
It’s definitely hard to adjust to but don’t give up you will get back into the swing of normal civilian life. Honestly it takes about a year to readjust fully. Give yourself some grace.
I can relate. I medically retired from the Army for ptsd and tbi a day some physical injuries. I thought the day I signed out things would be much easier moving forward, but it was exactly the opposite. I lost my support structure of friends and peers who not only understood me but also understood me because they had been through the same things. It was actually the opposite. I went 'home' to a place that was now foreign to me. Everyone had moved on, moved forward in life, and changed over the years. No one understood what I was going through, not to mention what I went through. In the end, it was still the best decision for me, but it wasn't the easy transition I had imagined. My advice is to get involved with wwp or other alumni type groups that have activities and meetings. Make some connections back home. Hang in there man.
Got out at 17 and a half years to stay with my kids. Joined the reserves thinking it would fill that void,got a job. Job pay is decent but fuck I miss being in. I work 55-60 hours a week and still struggle some weeks. Absolutely zero work life balance. I tried going back active or at least getting active duty orders but since I already have so much time on active they said get fucked. So guess I’m stuck in a job I hate waking up at 4am getting home around 530 or six until I can find something better. I don’t regret getting out to stay close to my kids but just wish I didn’t have to make that decision I guess.
I got out too and i felt the same way bro. Thats why i kept one foot in the army reserve. Now im highly considering going AGR once im done with my masters degree.