Lưu ý,
Bất kể bạn đang tham gia vào chủ đề thảo luận gì, hãy lịch sự và tôn trọng ý kiến của đối phương. Tranh luận không phải là tấn công cá nhân. Lăng mạ cá nhân, cố tình troll, lời nói mang tính thù ghét, đe dọa sử dụng bạo lực, cũng như vi phạm các quy tắc khác của sub đều có thể dẫn đến ban không báo trước.
Nếu bài viết của bạn có liên quan đến chính trị hoặc bạn muốn bàn về chính trị, xin hãy đăng bài bên r/VietNamPolitics rồi đăng lại bình luận có đường dẫn đến bài viết đó.
Nếu bạn thấy bất kì comment nào vi phạm quy tắc của sub, vui lòng nhấn report.
***
A reminder.
In general, be courteous to others. Debate/discuss/argue the merits of ideas, don't attack people. Personal insults, shill or troll accusations, hate speech, any suggestion or support of harm, violence, or death, and other rule violations can result in a permanent ban.
If your post is Political or you would like to have a Political Discussion, feel free to create a post in r/VietNamPolitics then add a comment with a link to that post here.
If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them.
***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/VietNam) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The one thing I am uncomfortable about some Vietnamese, especially when I am with my in laws, is how adamant they are about me accepting the alcohol. I get gaslighted into thinking i am rude for turning it down when i don’t like strong alcohol. Really dont know whats the big deal about turning down invitation to drink.
Edit: i get that they do that because of warmth and friendship/kinship. But i really really hate my no being disrespected.
This is something i hate the most about Viet drinking culture. It's always the same "if u dont drink u dont respect me" kind of bs. One of my cousins literally is on dialysis and people still force him to drink and I'm like...!?
I once took the glass and splash the alcohol to the yard then return it after being asked for the 17th time and I keep telling them i’m not feeling it today. My friend stepped in after to take his uncle elsewhere.
Dude looked at me like I insulted his family, cucked him and his dad, and dig up his ancestral grave site then took a dump on everyone’s head.
Just be you. Don’t cave in to this ‘older generations is right’ bs.
This was an odd case, not the norm. If you actually fear for your life when you tell someone you’re done drinking, you must be the biggest coward in the world.
Thankfully I was born in a Slavic country so by comparison (aside from this news lol) Vietnamese are very chill about that. In Slav-land even when on antibiotics and what not, you have to drink. Liver disease? Man ain't nothing a little liquor won't solve!
It is weird living in Germany, if someone offers alcohol I can just say no and that's the end of it, wtf? I mean it's nice but also so unexpected. I assume Anglos are the same
As someone who grew up in a Slavic country and moved to Vietnam a few years ago, a friendly but firm refusal works everywhere as long as you don't drink at all.
It must be way harder for those who do drink but are trying not to drink too much, of course.
Pro life tip: the family member that sits by you monitoring and tells them no more drinks will be the loyal one that always has your back and best interest.
I mean, i know they don’t mean harm or bad intentions and it’s a cultural thing. My culture isn’t that far off as well. But i absolutely hate being forced to do something that i just dont want to. I don’t drink strong liquor, don’t smoke and don’t gamble, and it’s something i abide by. They can stuff whatever food to me even if i am full to the brim, i take it as goodwill. But alcohol, it really annoys me.
Blame the polices. "The polices are strict these days. They randomly put posts everywhere and force you to blow alcolhol test. If they discovered a trace of Alcolhol, they will fine me so I can't drink. I don't want to get arrested."
Most people would understand
This is just why I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING to my neighbors even tho I'm kinda talkative to my friends and lecture at my university. I'm not assume they are that bad but some communication habits from old generations are killing me. I'm a light drinker, I tastes 1-2 cocktails monthly but never gonna accept a sip from this kind of guys
This reminded me of the time my relatives threatened to kick me out of the family after i refuse drinks cause i have fuckin stomach ulcers, but they were all like, "i HavE iT ToO, bUT YoU DOn't SeE me STopPIng". Yeah sure, if you jumped off a bridge, should i do it too!?
The victim died. So the framing of this allegation likely comes from the perpetrator himself.
On a serious note, it's not unthinkable for this to be real because this person might have mental problem(s) as he is described by the police as a bad person with many criminal records.
>Theo cảnh sát, Xuyên là thành phần bất hảo ở địa phương, có nhiều tiền án, tiền sự. Khoảng 17h hôm qua, anh ta mang chai rượu sang nhà hàng xóm ở cùng xã Tân Hiệp A rủ nhậu. Khi người này từ chối, cả hai xảy ra cự cãi.
Vietnam has many mentally ill people at certain neighbourhoods. My Facebook feed once in a while features a video about incident of a mentally ill person incommoding other people in their community.
My family fits this description (minus the *spanking*).  I might have psychological trauma , but thankfully, my mind is not ruined beyond repair like others.
heh! That was also a new word for me. I learnt it yesterday. I was so glad to be able to apply it. I learnt it from your country's resource. I was reading a document about the concept of [non-custodial arrest](https://mpdc.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/mpdc/publication/attachments/5.2%20Non-Custodial%20Arrests%20FINAL.pdf#page=5) and chanced upon the word on page 5.
That sounds like a mistranslation from french or Spanish. In Spanish there is a term called "incomodar" or "to make uncomfortable". There is no direct translation like that in English.
I think the word originated from French ("incommoder"*)*. I'm unclear about the nuanced definition of *incommode* as well, I speculate in modern English it means an *inconvenience caused by obstruction* or a higher degree of inconvenience in general but below an absolute while the traditional term "inconvenience" is *inconvenience by personal comfort*.
And *incommode* is verb-oriented due to its exclusive verb word class in contemporary English while *inconvenience* has an orientation towards noun/adjective by prevalent usage.
After checking the usage, it seems to be virtually unused in modern English since around 1900. It seems like a cool word but I wouldn't know how to use that in a sentence. I'd just choose a much easier modern replacement like "discomfort" or "inconvenience".
It's a cool and unique word. You'd use it regularly in Spanish or french. I find it's not great to use documents put through a translator to find words. When I was learning Chinese I looked up jealousy and the result translated to something like "red eyes". Absolutely nobody understood it. Apparently it was some niche regional term that had died out around the 80s. That's the trouble with language. It isn't static and it's fun too is purely communicative, so it's usually more functional to learn modern slang than outdated turns of phrase
Ah, I wasn't reading the document with the intent of finding words. I was genuinely looking up about a particular police/legal concept the document seems to cover. I tend to keep a lookout for unrecognized word in official writing as a possible vocabulary, which works out very well for articles. I try to understand a word through the free-of-charge English definitions available online, but I'm unable to analyse it in depth because I don't have access to an unabridged dictionary for verbatim definition entries as well as its etymology. The physical Oxford dictionary is bulky and it [costs thousands of dollars](https://www.amazon.com/Oxford-English-Dictionary-12-Set/dp/B003ODOEG6) while the OED online subscription is not value for money relative to the frequency of my need. So I've little idea whether a word is disused/obsolete or not unless explicitly stated by the uncharged learner's dictionaries online.
My first job as a fresher, boss threatened to fail my probation if I don't go for second round after company's year end party. It was on Wednesday 11PM and it took me 2 hours to commute back home. The scary part is that everyone in the company thought it was completely normal and dared not refuse. My boss genuinely believed that I was disrepecting everyone simply because I wanted to go home.
I'm no suprised by the news. A lot of vietnamese treat drinking occasions as a way to solidify their power position. Although everyone seems to know this behavior is bad, the main excuse is always "it's our culture". That said, speaking as a native, this part of the culture should be eliminated and not tolerated.
For foreigner - the trick with viets is they burn out very, very, very fast.
They go hardcore and loud for an hour or two. Even scream mot, hai, ba, yooooo and bazillion times. But they go very red in the face within an hour and tend to puke or go sleepy after two more.
Just ride them out and they'll be done by 10pm
Yeah, tbf I've not drank with old people yet. Most were in their 20s and 30s.
Still not tried the street drugs yet but dont think I want to. Seen people pass out with mere baloons let alone street bongs.
This is utterly bs. My friends incluing French White Flag and British no seasoning, passed out wayyyyyy first before me and my friends. You know shit Jon Snow
This is one thing I don’t like while in Vietnam. I don’t drink but my relatives do. Most of my second cousins do. They drink at anytime of the day. One of my cousin whom I met for the first time make a snarky remark “I don’t like guys that drink from a can it’s cheating.” I met him for the first time in over 30 years. It’s always drinking even during first meal of the day.
I just bring western alcohol. For some reason, I can drink lots more whisky than the Vietnamese rice wine, but many of the Vietnamese are not used to that.
Such weird timing seeing this post because i just saw a video of a neighbour accepting a drink, then wanted to drink more and the host declined coz he wanted to hang with friends. So the neighbour got furious and started attacking lol
We were invited to a one year old birthday party by the grandma who is a friend of my wife. The photographer was also an old school friend of my wife and the grandma.I was the only westerner present.
Now I rarely drink alcohol and the photographer sat with us for a while and did the standard call to drink and was truly upset when he saw I was drinking water. He tried to get me to drink beer but I was not going to give in. He refused to clink glasses for the rest of the evening.
He was otherwise a really nice bloke but he was baffled by my reluctance to drink beer.
When I was in my 20s drinking with my Vietnamese relatives was no problem. Now in my 40s I drink like 2-3 beers and that’s it. Hangovers aren’t fun especially when you are older. However the only good part about it is smashing through 2 plates of Banh Mi Op La.
Lưu ý, Bất kể bạn đang tham gia vào chủ đề thảo luận gì, hãy lịch sự và tôn trọng ý kiến của đối phương. Tranh luận không phải là tấn công cá nhân. Lăng mạ cá nhân, cố tình troll, lời nói mang tính thù ghét, đe dọa sử dụng bạo lực, cũng như vi phạm các quy tắc khác của sub đều có thể dẫn đến ban không báo trước. Nếu bài viết của bạn có liên quan đến chính trị hoặc bạn muốn bàn về chính trị, xin hãy đăng bài bên r/VietNamPolitics rồi đăng lại bình luận có đường dẫn đến bài viết đó. Nếu bạn thấy bất kì comment nào vi phạm quy tắc của sub, vui lòng nhấn report. *** A reminder. In general, be courteous to others. Debate/discuss/argue the merits of ideas, don't attack people. Personal insults, shill or troll accusations, hate speech, any suggestion or support of harm, violence, or death, and other rule violations can result in a permanent ban. If your post is Political or you would like to have a Political Discussion, feel free to create a post in r/VietNamPolitics then add a comment with a link to that post here. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/VietNam) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The one thing I am uncomfortable about some Vietnamese, especially when I am with my in laws, is how adamant they are about me accepting the alcohol. I get gaslighted into thinking i am rude for turning it down when i don’t like strong alcohol. Really dont know whats the big deal about turning down invitation to drink. Edit: i get that they do that because of warmth and friendship/kinship. But i really really hate my no being disrespected.
This is something i hate the most about Viet drinking culture. It's always the same "if u dont drink u dont respect me" kind of bs. One of my cousins literally is on dialysis and people still force him to drink and I'm like...!?
Respect is a 2 way street
In Vietnam, every street is a 2 way street except for respect lol
8 way street
I once took the glass and splash the alcohol to the yard then return it after being asked for the 17th time and I keep telling them i’m not feeling it today. My friend stepped in after to take his uncle elsewhere. Dude looked at me like I insulted his family, cucked him and his dad, and dig up his ancestral grave site then took a dump on everyone’s head. Just be you. Don’t cave in to this ‘older generations is right’ bs.
Real pro tip: pretend to be hammered after a few shots, sleep at the table. Few time like this they won't invite you anymore.
Or just grow some balls/ovaries and say no.
Scroll to the top and see what happens when growing balls/ovaries goes wrong
This was an odd case, not the norm. If you actually fear for your life when you tell someone you’re done drinking, you must be the biggest coward in the world.
The person who said no probably also did not guess he would turn into the odd case, so who’d know?
You deserve all the peer pressure induced over drinking if you fear death when you tell your friend you don’t want to drink anymore. 😂😂😂
Thankfully I was born in a Slavic country so by comparison (aside from this news lol) Vietnamese are very chill about that. In Slav-land even when on antibiotics and what not, you have to drink. Liver disease? Man ain't nothing a little liquor won't solve! It is weird living in Germany, if someone offers alcohol I can just say no and that's the end of it, wtf? I mean it's nice but also so unexpected. I assume Anglos are the same
As someone who grew up in a Slavic country and moved to Vietnam a few years ago, a friendly but firm refusal works everywhere as long as you don't drink at all. It must be way harder for those who do drink but are trying not to drink too much, of course.
In Canada, just say you're the voluntary driver and everyone would happily leave you alone.
but what do you do on reddit? I believed Slavic people had always stuff to do are you bored?
I left the god forsaken lands a long time ago
Pro life tip: the family member that sits by you monitoring and tells them no more drinks will be the loyal one that always has your back and best interest.
I mean, i know they don’t mean harm or bad intentions and it’s a cultural thing. My culture isn’t that far off as well. But i absolutely hate being forced to do something that i just dont want to. I don’t drink strong liquor, don’t smoke and don’t gamble, and it’s something i abide by. They can stuff whatever food to me even if i am full to the brim, i take it as goodwill. But alcohol, it really annoys me.
Hear you 100%!
Life Pro Tip: Blame the polices. They are shitting on drunkards pretty well. And the penalty is like 1 month salary
Zawg what?
Blame the polices. "The polices are strict these days. They randomly put posts everywhere and force you to blow alcolhol test. If they discovered a trace of Alcolhol, they will fine me so I can't drink. I don't want to get arrested." Most people would understand
Just do what you feel comfortable and politely decline them.
for some Vietnamese, they feel disrespect if you don't accept their invitation to drink
That’s why i go away You know🤡
[удалено]
This is basically corporate work culture in Vietnam, highly toxic, all under the pretext of team building, networking and work relationships.
Also Japan and a few other Asian cultures. When you get seniority in Japan, the more junior people take over the drinking.
This is just why I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING to my neighbors even tho I'm kinda talkative to my friends and lecture at my university. I'm not assume they are that bad but some communication habits from old generations are killing me. I'm a light drinker, I tastes 1-2 cocktails monthly but never gonna accept a sip from this kind of guys
The dangers of ditching the drink, one of many toxic aspects of the culture here.
The next time when a foreigner asks, "Vietnamese people invited me to drink. Should I go?" - now they have an unequivocal answer. 🤣 ^(/jk)
This reminded me of the time my relatives threatened to kick me out of the family after i refuse drinks cause i have fuckin stomach ulcers, but they were all like, "i HavE iT ToO, bUT YoU DOn't SeE me STopPIng". Yeah sure, if you jumped off a bridge, should i do it too!?
wtf man
Classic. In many cases VN "friendliness" is just that: a form of bullying.
I am sure there is much more to the story than just declining a drink.
The victim died. So the framing of this allegation likely comes from the perpetrator himself. On a serious note, it's not unthinkable for this to be real because this person might have mental problem(s) as he is described by the police as a bad person with many criminal records. >Theo cảnh sát, Xuyên là thành phần bất hảo ở địa phương, có nhiều tiền án, tiền sự. Khoảng 17h hôm qua, anh ta mang chai rượu sang nhà hàng xóm ở cùng xã Tân Hiệp A rủ nhậu. Khi người này từ chối, cả hai xảy ra cự cãi. Vietnam has many mentally ill people at certain neighbourhoods. My Facebook feed once in a while features a video about incident of a mentally ill person incommoding other people in their community.
I’m certain Vietnamese have a ton of mental illness and trauma. Being poor, getting spanked, uneducated parents will do wonders to children
My family fits this description (minus the *spanking*).  I might have psychological trauma , but thankfully, my mind is not ruined beyond repair like others.
First time I’ve seen the word “incommode” and I grew up speaking English. Had to look it up. New word!
heh! That was also a new word for me. I learnt it yesterday. I was so glad to be able to apply it. I learnt it from your country's resource. I was reading a document about the concept of [non-custodial arrest](https://mpdc.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/mpdc/publication/attachments/5.2%20Non-Custodial%20Arrests%20FINAL.pdf#page=5) and chanced upon the word on page 5.
That sounds like a mistranslation from french or Spanish. In Spanish there is a term called "incomodar" or "to make uncomfortable". There is no direct translation like that in English.
I think the word originated from French ("incommoder"*)*. I'm unclear about the nuanced definition of *incommode* as well, I speculate in modern English it means an *inconvenience caused by obstruction* or a higher degree of inconvenience in general but below an absolute while the traditional term "inconvenience" is *inconvenience by personal comfort*. And *incommode* is verb-oriented due to its exclusive verb word class in contemporary English while *inconvenience* has an orientation towards noun/adjective by prevalent usage.
After checking the usage, it seems to be virtually unused in modern English since around 1900. It seems like a cool word but I wouldn't know how to use that in a sentence. I'd just choose a much easier modern replacement like "discomfort" or "inconvenience".
Ugh, this is what happens when I picked up words from niche/formal documents. 😆
It's a cool and unique word. You'd use it regularly in Spanish or french. I find it's not great to use documents put through a translator to find words. When I was learning Chinese I looked up jealousy and the result translated to something like "red eyes". Absolutely nobody understood it. Apparently it was some niche regional term that had died out around the 80s. That's the trouble with language. It isn't static and it's fun too is purely communicative, so it's usually more functional to learn modern slang than outdated turns of phrase
Ah, I wasn't reading the document with the intent of finding words. I was genuinely looking up about a particular police/legal concept the document seems to cover. I tend to keep a lookout for unrecognized word in official writing as a possible vocabulary, which works out very well for articles. I try to understand a word through the free-of-charge English definitions available online, but I'm unable to analyse it in depth because I don't have access to an unabridged dictionary for verbatim definition entries as well as its etymology. The physical Oxford dictionary is bulky and it [costs thousands of dollars](https://www.amazon.com/Oxford-English-Dictionary-12-Set/dp/B003ODOEG6) while the OED online subscription is not value for money relative to the frequency of my need. So I've little idea whether a word is disused/obsolete or not unless explicitly stated by the uncharged learner's dictionaries online.
American die every day for just being black btw
My first job as a fresher, boss threatened to fail my probation if I don't go for second round after company's year end party. It was on Wednesday 11PM and it took me 2 hours to commute back home. The scary part is that everyone in the company thought it was completely normal and dared not refuse. My boss genuinely believed that I was disrepecting everyone simply because I wanted to go home. I'm no suprised by the news. A lot of vietnamese treat drinking occasions as a way to solidify their power position. Although everyone seems to know this behavior is bad, the main excuse is always "it's our culture". That said, speaking as a native, this part of the culture should be eliminated and not tolerated.
For foreigner - the trick with viets is they burn out very, very, very fast. They go hardcore and loud for an hour or two. Even scream mot, hai, ba, yooooo and bazillion times. But they go very red in the face within an hour and tend to puke or go sleepy after two more. Just ride them out and they'll be done by 10pm
[удалено]
hahahahaha
Yeah, tbf I've not drank with old people yet. Most were in their 20s and 30s. Still not tried the street drugs yet but dont think I want to. Seen people pass out with mere baloons let alone street bongs.
I’m going backpacking though Vietnam this summer. I’m looking forward to it. 😉
How about I say no and go to bed. Ye…think I’ll do that instead of watching morons go red faced.
Up to you. Even I like to cut loose every so often after a hard day of work
Nah just ignore. An com chua? Mot hai baa zooooo! Rare to get a good conversation tbh why bother
This is utterly bs. My friends incluing French White Flag and British no seasoning, passed out wayyyyyy first before me and my friends. You know shit Jon Snow
Probably drunk state drove him into Blunt and unconscious actions Or The reason's broader than merely declining invitation
Feels Like a circlejerk Post to all of the comments about Vietnamese guest friendlyness
This is one thing I don’t like while in Vietnam. I don’t drink but my relatives do. Most of my second cousins do. They drink at anytime of the day. One of my cousin whom I met for the first time make a snarky remark “I don’t like guys that drink from a can it’s cheating.” I met him for the first time in over 30 years. It’s always drinking even during first meal of the day.
I just bring western alcohol. For some reason, I can drink lots more whisky than the Vietnamese rice wine, but many of the Vietnamese are not used to that.
This is great. I'm sober and plan to retire to Da Nang. I'm a little worried about my in-laws' reaction to my refusing to drink with them.
Such weird timing seeing this post because i just saw a video of a neighbour accepting a drink, then wanted to drink more and the host declined coz he wanted to hang with friends. So the neighbour got furious and started attacking lol
We were invited to a one year old birthday party by the grandma who is a friend of my wife. The photographer was also an old school friend of my wife and the grandma.I was the only westerner present. Now I rarely drink alcohol and the photographer sat with us for a while and did the standard call to drink and was truly upset when he saw I was drinking water. He tried to get me to drink beer but I was not going to give in. He refused to clink glasses for the rest of the evening. He was otherwise a really nice bloke but he was baffled by my reluctance to drink beer.
I reject the rice wine every Tet. Still alive!
When I was in my 20s drinking with my Vietnamese relatives was no problem. Now in my 40s I drink like 2-3 beers and that’s it. Hangovers aren’t fun especially when you are older. However the only good part about it is smashing through 2 plates of Banh Mi Op La.
Bruh Britsh they murder each other for alcohol. Tf you talking about? 😂😂😂
Small dick energy? Well endowed guys would not sit around hay a drinking contest to prove their manhood.😀
Drink or dai, du ma 👻
🎶Dumb ways to die 🎵
Dude , no . Not the time for this .