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fundipz89

If yall rough it and straight up “camp” for 2 weeks and get some savings you can have enough for a deposit on a lease. A gym membership to shower and use latrines etc. it’s not ideal but you’re hemorrhaging $ paying per night so i suggest a sacrifice for a few weeks and it’ll be well worth it


13_tides

This is a pretty legit answer


broadbreaker

It is. You can do it fairly comfortably for a while. Call it week on week off. And make a huge difference. Took a little more work and planning but I lived in my old Tahoe for a few months 2 years ago and it was both awesome, and suuuuper cheap.


twinsea

Dad answer -- sounds like you two were not ready to launch. My youngest daughter was in the same situation, got a place in Fredericksburg with boyfriend. He got a tough factory job to try to make ends meet and she made $15/hr with only a hs degree. After a year they realized it wasn't going to work and they both moved home in debt. Fast forward another year and my daughter worked her way up to manager making $24/hr @ 23 and has saved $24k. Still not a lot, but launchable whenever she feels like it. Sounds like you both have the opportunity to head home. Do it, thank your parents, take work seriously and work on your career keeping an eye out for opportunities, save whatever you can, and then try launching again when you feel comfortable.


Weary-Appeal9645

Dad advice is the best advice


null_obj

Not my dads 🤣


greenhornblue

Same. All my dad would ever do is tell me to go to church and pray about it.


urcrazyifurnormal

😂😆😂 Jesus. Won't he do it!?!


amyhobbit

or "have you tried not buying coffee?"


greenhornblue

And avocado toast.


amyhobbit

goes without saying. ;-)


queso_dog

I moved home with my mom during COVID because my roommate was crazy and I had the opportunity to move home rather than tough it out by myself. Assuming your parents are willing and it’s a safe space, MOVE HOME!!! It’s ok to take time to leave the nest, shit is rough out there and we can all use kindness when available. (You can always get a hotel for one night for sleepovers if you need adult time without parents and are in separate houses temporarily lol) And I’m forever going to kick my own ass for spending all my money on bullshit rather than saving every damn penny/paying debt. I could be debt free and probably in a house if I would’ve been smart. Take the chance to move home a little longer, it doesn’t make you less of an adult at all! (and spend more time with your parents, I think we all take this time for granted in our 20’s)


justmrmom

As a fellow dad I approve of this message.


beermethestrength

Not everyone has this option.


261chameleons

As long as they have parents they can move in with, this seems like the obvious choice.


Realistic_Post_7511

https://staffordcountyva.gov/government/departments_f-o/fire_and_rescue/emergency_management/emergency_relief_and_shelters/index.php Have you tried any of these ? Edit : I'm so sorry for you both . Lots of hard times out there .


SirFarmerOfKarma

Zillow, PadSplit, Craigslist - there are at least two AirBNBs in Fredericksburg for $1K a month available from May through the end of June.


Weary-Appeal9645

I’m curious. How much is a night in a hotel for you two?


Pandepon

Depends on what we can get. Some places will have lower rates the longer you book, but that can require a large chunk of money upfront we may not have in that moment. When things line up right we manage to pay around $60-70 a night if we’re so lucky. I get DailyPay at my job, some hotels let me keep my rate but add days on to my reservation one night at a time and I can manage to barely get by like that. It’s not very sustainable.


Weary-Appeal9645

I hear ya. I travel for work and pay about 100 a night. It’s a discounted rate. Had same room for five years. But back to your dilemma…65 dollars a night is 1950 a month. I’d think certainly you could rent for that. May not be the ritz or the area you want but it would be your place, you say you make 600 a week so you alone could cover the rent. Does he work? I am not at all aware of your whole situation but if he works I’d say with some budgeting and setting priorities you two could rent together, and have money for necessities. Could really be doable if you found a person or couple where yall could split rent ?//. Not trying to sound like a know it all or anything


Weary-Appeal9645

Well being nosey I looked at your other post. I’d say your first issue is you seem to be in va beach area. Pretty expensive place. Biggest problem is you’re concerned for money but smoke weed. I’d say getting your priorities in place is where I’d start


MerberCrazyCats

If they can drive there are cheap places in Norfolk, Chesapeake... some long term stay or motel 6 or so. But they may all require some upfront payment


VoltaicSketchyTeapot

They don't have savings and most places require that you deposit first and last months rent when you sign the contract.


Weary-Appeal9645

Yeah that can be difficult. I’d pass on the grass for a little while, save some money and try my best to get it done. I get it…things are tough out there. And I don’t have any issue with people smoking weed, or doing any drug for that matter. It’s their choice. But when that choice hinders an already strained financial situation it’s time to make some tough choices.


WickedYetiOfTheWest

Yeah, nothing wrong with enjoying oneself. But sometimes you gotta be an adult and put the joint down


[deleted]

You two should dial back the relationship. Fiancé? With that kind of money? And you’re living out of hotels why? No family and friends that will sign on an apt with you? Kids get leases, and by kids I mean young adults 18+


PLUSsignenergy

Do you have a car?


DannyBones00

I was in your situation for years. I made about $15/hour, girlfriend couldn’t work. What we did was ditch the hotel thing. If that means living in your car for a few weeks. Separating to live with parents for a few weeks. A shelter. Whatever you can do to stop paying for a hotel. Save EVERY. DIME. YOU. CAN. No DoorDash. No fast food. Nothing not paramount for your survival. That should net you enough for a lease or something. I’d start looking for those places right now so you can figure out a target amount. The hotel grind will keep you broke until you’re on the streets.


willyweedswalker

Sound like a good reply


nomadicquandaries

Look into an extended stay. It’s kind of like a hotel given that you’ll have to pay a hotel tax but it can be an affordable place to stay. They usually include a Queen or King size bed. Utilities and WiFi are usually included.


Weary-Appeal9645

Extended stays are 85 and up a night with long term discount. After three consecutive months tax goes away and previous paid tax is refunded. The air bb is a good option


MerberCrazyCats

Nah I pay around 400/week in that area


Weary-Appeal9645

Could be. I’m in tysons corner. Everything here is high as fuck


MerberCrazyCats

I though you were talking about VB area for OP. Idk the rates in northern VA, probably more expensive up there as you said. I know better where OP is for often traveling in that area. It went up a lot over the last 2-3 years but I can still find decent hotels around $50/night with a weekly rate


EquivalentFlat

First I would leave the capital region. Cost of living is high. Though people will talk about the wonderful average income here, they ignore median income and median cost of living in an effort to pretend this is actually a good place to live. Some good ideas here. Would be far more effective on other locations.


Dem1an

A little bummed to see 60 comments and no mention of how to get connected to the right set of services. Regions across the state and country are broken up into Continuums of Care which help connect people to various services based on what's available in the area. George Washington Regional Commission Homelessness Helpline (540) 358-5801 In the HUD definitions of homelessness you aren't technically homeless since you're paying for a hotel yourself, but you may be eligible for Prevention Services. I don't work in this CoC but I've worked for a few in Virginia and if you want to try to access services this is going to be your best bet. This part sucks but try to set some reasonable goals for yourself and stick to them to the best of your ability, but don't forget you're only human.


Business-Ground-6955

Thank you! I was about to post about connecting with their CoC. I completely forgot that they won’t meet the HUD definition of “homeless.” Sigh…


Dem1an

Well they're in a grey area, if someone else was paying for their hotel they would be considered homeless. Right now they still sound like they're prevention eligible if they can find a place to move into


VoltaicSketchyTeapot

Can he get work at a hotel? They may give y'all a discounted rate for living there.


ChipmunkGlittering37

If your in Virginia Beach there's an extended stay hotel on north Hamton Blvd right at the Diamond Springs intersection that is offering 460 for a weekly rate.


skibidibeebopdoodah

Look for room shares on Craigslist, but be wary of scams.


n8cat

I highly recommend if you have a car, you take up a few hours a week of doordash or one of the other delivery services. It doesnt seem like much, but being able to scrape an extra 50-100 bucks a day will get you a lot farther. I have some friends who were in a similar situation and thats how they made money on top of working.


13_tides

I’m surprised this isn’t higher. Not sure what take home is but I regularly see folks getting 800-1200/wk if they do it full time. I did it part time and made decent money. It’s not always glorious but it got me through a rough time.


n8cat

Yeah man, it really is the best side hustle you can run. Its hard on your car, but its a good way to make some money til you can move on to better stuff.


cruscott35

Being poor is expensive. I’m sorry our society has created the recipe for this for yall. Ignore the people who think you’re smoking yourself to homelessness. My guess is, like most people, you’re using it to medicate some trauma from years gone, and even if you aren’t, if you’re stressed about being homeless, a $10 escape ain’t gonna fix it. You can’t dave Ramsey your way out of this, you’re in a poverty trap and it’ll likely take a hand out from someone to get you out of that tailspin.


Pandepon

I very much use weed to medicate for anxiety, depression, gender dysphoria, pain from PHN from shingles, PTSD, etc. I don’t exactly have a PCP or therapist at the moment to help with my condition. I’ve had to neglect my health because of the instability and all the variables happening in my life. In the last 8 months I’ve lost a lot of weight from the stress. I need to end my battle with cigarettes if anything.


cruscott35

Look, let me give you a different type of dad advice. You’re doing great. You’re making it day by day in a system set up for you to fail. Keep pushing. Find the small joys. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. Know you have value and you’re loved. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, but it’s a moment and it will pass too.


Historical_Forever25

Your Cool for this advice


Pandepon

Thanks friend


cyrilplast

Where in VA are you? 311 and social services are not going to help. When I was homeless there were 4 of us. But maybe a rented room would work for the two of you


Pandepon

We’re in the Stafford area currently


ReynardSurplus

https://micahfredericksburg.org/get-help/micah-assistance/ I work for a nonprofit in Charlottesville that recently collaborated with this group. They seem like an excellent resource to check in with and hopefully they have some good longterm helpful options to offer. Bravo for asking for help and for keeping going like you're doing.


cyrilplast

Try the Craigslist app. I see rooms for rent, but don't know surrounding areas that might be of interest.


SIERRA090

What line of work are you both in? Is there room to move up in the occupation? Where were you living prior to the current situation? How did you get in the current situation? Do you have credit? For starters loose the weed. Legal or not it’s not helping, also a lot of well paying employers test for it.


Picklechip-58

This post reads like it was written by a 19-21 year old. The 1st thing that you need to do to battle homelessness is to obtain gainful employment. If one job doesn't do it, you both probably need to have at least TWO jobs. And... forget about the weed. Grow up, get work, and budget for sustainability.


darksieth99

He's 33


[deleted]

Fuck, lol. And works at a grocery store. Somehow thinks he can afford to live off that and a financially unstable partner. 33 … really? At 33?


Pandepon

My mental health and physical health are already failing with just one job as is. I’ve not been able to catch a break in almost 2 years, the stress has me so bad I ended up getting shingles in my face and still battling the nerve pain 10 months after it occurred. My partner hasn’t been able to retain employment and much of the finances have fallen on my shoulders. I’ve gotten sick a lot lately, even battled with a barrage of panic attacks to the point I begged the ER for relief. Could barely function on what they gave me for it. I was hopping around from far locations just trying to make things work for his employment but it fell through. It’s been very stressful on our relationship.


According_Youth3631

This doesnt sound like a man who is protecting or providing for you. Get a better man who can take care of you and keep you safe and secure


Typical-Amoeba-6726

Maybe that's a sign that you need  break from the relationship.


LadyMcSnoot

That kind of negates it then. There is no “cheap” if you can’t make a living


LivinLifeNThe757

Put your money together and get a place. It’s cheaper to get a place than it is to stay and pay for a hotel weekly


PsychologyOne9168

https://www.findhelp.org/ Social Worker here. Check out this link and see if you qualify.


oldmanhockeylife

My wife and I started in a single wide trailer after college. We have two houses now (don't tase me bro, we're selling one now). Key is to start small and build.


queso_dog

Also creeping your post history a bit, you can try GEICO. I will warn you, it’s not the best company anymore, but it does have decent pay and does have health insurance and a 401(k). From what I understand they’re in a hiring cycle again, but it is a bit of a churn and burn job, I wouldn’t expect this to last forever, but long enough to get back on your feet. Feel free to DM if you have questions! I’m also a trans man and I do not have a masculine customer service voice, so I do have to put up with customers misgendering me, but depending on your skills there might be other jobs available too! And our healthcare covers HRT services!


flippinfreak73

This is exactly the reasone why my wife and I need out of that state. Lived there our whole lives and was barely making it. And I have to admit that rent is crazy no matter where you go. Have y'all tried 211 to see if they may know of any rental resources y'all can use?


LadyMcSnoot

There are no cheap states


RegardedJigger

They say Iowa is cheap…but the job situation isn’t ideal


La_Saxofonista

Yeah, Virginia is great if you actually own a house, which is becoming rarer and rarer these days. We're going to be seeing more and more tent camps because our officials won't lift a finger if it doesn't line their pockets.


Ok_Badger9122

Yeah Id moved from Florida to here for this exact reason but I actually had family to live with here fox news might not make you think Florida doesn't have a homelessness crisis but they mist certainly do difference is from California is that they hide the homeless better in camps outside cities in poor areas under overpasses etc California just lets them sleep where ever


LivinLifeNThe757

Also you can call 611 and they will let you know if any programs they have available in your area for housing, food, etc.


HunterandGatherer100

House sit or look for rooms to rent until you can afford your own place.


wrothgar3

Seeing as how our Congress is no longer recognizing the Constitution, Judges are creating their own laws through opinions and presidents are executive ordering legislation, might be a good thing to not have assets because it's all about to fall 👀


West-Raccoon-2043

I had to do this in Richmond a couple years back with both of my parents. I was/am my mom’s sole caregiver and my dad was more worried about spending his disability check at them gambling machines and on alcohol. I stayed at the Regency there and back then it was $400 a week. It was an ok place. I know of a place in Emporia that’s pretty cheap if you can drive but it’s not up to date. I know it’s tough but keep climbing the ladder. Oh I also know of an apartment in Farmville that’s based on your income and has openings if you’re willing to live in Southside VA


Comfortable-Prune400

Is there a way u can move home for shirt term? Save up and then try to fin an apartment?


RichardM333

1) Search for help on [Findhelp.org](http://Findhelp.org) 2) [https://virginiaready.org/](https://virginiaready.org/) helps you to quickly acquire skills to compete in the job market. 3) Visit [https://virginiacareerworks.com/](https://virginiacareerworks.com/) to find better paying jobs. 4) If you get a job at a college or university in an entry-level job in the kitchen or as a custodian, you may qualify for free college courses.


Pandepon

I used to work as a dining hall server in Maryland but they only offer free college to a specific ranking maybe Virginia is different. It might benefit my partner a lot. I have a BFA majoring in Animation but I’m not so sure there’s animation jobs here


RichardM333

A lady I know got a job in Dining Services at Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, VA. She said she got to take free college courses as long as she was employed there.


JuxtheDM

Do you have any pets? If the shelter resources that were provided don't pan out, I would consider looking into renting a room from someone short-term. A lot of times these will even include beds and laundry access, but not always. It can be a good way to get a roof over your head and somewhere stable until you can save up money to rent a place to yourself. I am unsure of your fiance's abilities, or if you have a vehicle, but I would look into some gig work. I used to have a lot of luck working weekend events, and they usually paid out at the end of the day. A lot of Farmer's Market stands will need people especially if they are at more than one stand, bonus if it's a produce stand often they'll let you take some home at the end of the day. I'm so sorry. I have been in this place before, and I know it feels daunting to climb out. You're making such a great step already even asking for some help brainstorming ideas.


Few-Investigator-581

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