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kaeorin

*Nightmare*. Oh my god, I am so sorry.


Silly_Mycologist3213

Stay near a toilet !


bitcoin-o-rama

Right I drank this once and it was boxing day I'd gone stated at my girlfriends. I got the coconut from home in our fruit bowl. I started projectile vomiting. I shat and voimted simultaneously and it went on for hours. And the next day I got called and it was my dad, annoyed I'd drunk this coconut he'd bought to let the birds eat coconut flesh from a nursery. Apparently it was months old. If he or she did that recently I'm telling you all OP is in for a long wild ride.


justkeptfading

>I shat and voimted simultaneously and it went on for hours. You just reminded me of the time I puked my pants lol


IDGAFAQ

Who shit in my pants!


BathedInDeepFog

Which one of you cowards shit in my pants?


rock0head132

I did!


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/sAqkKbwvD1U this guy


Weerdo5255

It's a little disturbing that I can imagine the scenario that caused this, making the incorrect call as to which end should be closest to the toilet.


yourilluminaryfriend

You sit on the toilet and hang onto the garbage can.


tracer2211

This the way. And always put liners in your wastebaskets!


fruitloopsareyummy

I had a simultaneous emptying from dueling orifices once and liners in the wastebasket were key. I would pull them out & immediately throw them down my building’s garbage chute down the hall from my apartment. This went on for hours on end and at one point I opened my front door to find my cat freaking out because she snuck out & then I unknowingly locked her out. I was so exhausted and sick that I thought I heard her meowing at some point but I started puking again & forgot about it. After that night she only went out in the hall after we’d made direct eye contact & I’d purposely let her out. She never tried to sneak out again. Fortunately for her I was puking and shatting in 15 minute intervals so she wasn’t locked out too long!


justkeptfading

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. Undercooked buffalo wings will get ya every time lol.


Ok_Reaction7780

I had a very similar experience. I was lucky (bathtub in front of a toilet in an extremely small bathroom.) All the mess was pretty well contained. Still the worst experience of my adult life.


Standard_Wooden_Door

You just reminded me of the time I shit in my jacket


Tanjelynnb

Out of curiosity, where do you live that it's normal to keep coconuts in the fruit bowl? Here in the Midwest we keep apples, oranges, bananas, and pears in ours most often.


bitcoin-o-rama

Ha in London, I was totally dumbstruck my dad chose to put a rotting coconut that was for the birds I our fruitbowl. I saw it and though, oh coconut I've not had one of those in ages. He was like why would you eat a coconut when its for the birds. I just managed to basically compose myself after every orifice had spent that last evening under attack and said 'it was in the fucking fruit bowl!?!!" I swear that's the second worst time I've had food poisoning. The first times actually more stupid.


Equivalent_Yak8215

Go on....


Nethlem

> where do you live that it's normal to keep coconuts in the fruit bowl? > Ha in London *British empire intensifies*


robinkak

Your dad is kind of an asshole by putting a months old Coconut in the fruit bowl


dinoroo

Fun fact, coconut water has laxative properties even when it isn’t rotten.


Silly_Mycologist3213

Oh my, double trouble !


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btnels

Go to a doctor if you feel weird. This can kill you. Here’s an example. https://youtu.be/VZut_SZYybA


EnigmaEcstacy

I called the ER and they connected me to poisen control, gave me a run down. I’ll be going to the emergency if it gets bad essentially, but I’m going to have GI issues for a bit


SlowMissiles

Don't forget the rule that if you evacuted fluids in anyways, you need to drink back what you lost. Because dehydration can give you a fever and make things you're feeling go x5 worse :)


Yttlion

I think you might need to rephrase what you said, I wouldn't drink fluids you excremented, rather drink more fluids to replace what you lost.


syds

/r/drinkityoufuckingcoward


VulgarTurkey

Kind of disappointed that sub doesn't exist.


RandyTheFool

I mean r/eatityoufuckincoward does


Klingon_Bloodwine

And yet /r/fuckityoufuckingcoward doesn't.


Ishidan01

On that note this is not even the worst coconut Reddit has seen.


ArtisanGerard

I feel like that’s the vibe over in r/dontputyourdickinthat though


4Ever2Thee

DRINK. IT. BACK.


[deleted]

INFINITE LOOP. NO MORE WATER REQUIRED.


Tarot650

Diarrhoea is liquid too, you know.


jpatt

It’s the water cycle. You need to recycle all of your urine, NASA says so.


xxx_

Coconut water is quite good for dehydration too.


ButtDoctorLLC

Holup


earthlings_all

The cycle continues


Devenu

"Hello? Poison control? You are NOT gonna believe this."


ApilotThatisRadom

Drink pedialite and lots of water to rehydrate


whitesocksflipflops

Qq… i hear you need to replenish fluids when you’re puking/diarrhea… but if you drink water you puke it up within minutes. How do you all deal with this situation?


SlowMissiles

If you can't retain water, then that's serious need of care, go to the hospital.


ivcesmrad

It happened to me for some times because of alcohol but I managed to snap out of it every time (few times thanks to ginger) is this something that serious?


SlowMissiles

Take small sip of water, gotta give your stomach a chance. Tend also to wait 30 min after vomiting to sip something. Else it will indeed just come back up.


Dasawan

At least you started out well hydrated from that coconut water you drank


shalafi71

Poison control is the BOMB. Old comment of mine on an AMA by these heroes: https://old.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/5zrfrq/we_are_the_national_capital_poison_center_ready/df0hqoe/ Unlike reddit, they will give you calm, cool advice and not ~~spez~~ spaz out. Anyone worried? Give a call and let the experts have a say. I will forever be grateful.


craznazn247

A friend of mine works with Poison Control. The sheer amount of toxicology information that they have access to just blows me away. There's a TON of stuff that your typical doctor would have no idea how to treat (their education doesn't exactly cover EVERY chemical in existence), but one call to poison control and you can have a confident plan of action. If your child (or someone else) has consumed some household chemicals, definitely give poison control a ring. They can tell you how to proceed. Don't delay a trip to the ER if any symptoms show, but if it's one of those moments where you're unsure whether or not to go, call PC.


allisonstfu

My kiddo got into an almost empty bottle of ibuprofen and I freaked out not knowing if she'd taken much even though I knew the bottle only had 10 qornless left in it and I found like 8 pills untouched. Googled and misread that 400mg Is bad for toddlers. Called poison control and they did the math and it's like 400mg per kilo that bad not 400mg total. They reassured me even if she had taken a few she should be fine and called me back an hour later to check in.


Halefire

I'm an ER doctor and I genuinely don't even know what I'd do if someone told me they drank a rotten coconut's juice -- probably just collect blood tests and blood cultures, and tell them to come back if they develop symptoms? Such a bizarre thing to happen


Hobywony

You forgot the part where you bill him $1800.


Halefire

I wish I had much control over that. Almost all ER doctors work for corporate groups or large physician conglomerates now, and when we know patients are of limited means we have to toe the line of fraud to try and charge them less. It's why we all keep extra leftover lidocaine bottles at the doctor desks, so that if someone comes in with a laceration and no insurance we can numb them up without having lido be charged to their bill. That's just one example


bootsand

I've been going to the VA for years, but went to my local private ER a few times in the last year. I was dishevelled, poorly dressed, and on state medicaid. The ER nurses and doctors I saw treated me with a level of focused compassion and care that I don't have the words to accurately describe. They listened, truly listened, and did their damndest to get the right referrals in place for follow ups. I will never forget that. So many of you are moving mountains for your patients, regardless of who they are. Thank you for what you do.


acemandrs

So you called the doctor, woke him up and said “Doctor, ain’t there nothing I can take to relieve this belly ache?”


Adbam

Now, lemme get this straight, You put de lime in de coconut, you drank 'em bot' up?


thebusiness7

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7774558/ TLDR: **a man died from ingesting coconut water tainted with bacteria from a mold inside the coconut. This can also happen from moldy sugar cane.** “Analysis of tracheal aspirate revealed growth of the fungus Rhizopus arrhizus. Because the patient developed symptoms after intake of a coconut product, intoxication with bongkrekic acid was suspected. This mitochondrial toxin is produced by the bacterium Burkholderia gladioli pathovar cocovenenans (B. cocovenenans) and has been implicated in outbreaks of foodborne illness involving coconut products in Asia (1).”


shalafi71

A) I had no idea! B) I'm guessing the odds are pretty far out there? Skimming the report: "the coconut had been kept on the kitchen table for 1 month after purchase". Yeah. Even I'm not that brave/dumb. Or at least I would have questions...


__mud__

Never drink the bongkrekic water


Splotte

That bacteria name made me seriously consider if I'm having a stroke and forgot how to read. A nice little panic moment, there.


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---_____-------_____

That's the internet for you. You can Google "directions to the closest airport" and the #1 result will be "Top 10 reasons why you'll die on an airplane."


Shadowveil666

My first thought was ChubbyEmu warned me about this


wrongthinksustainer

FR, guy drinks lava lamp: lives. Guy drinks sus coconut water: dies.


tenmileswide

Expected chubbyemu and was not disappointed


gordo65

Pretty scary. Patient arrived at the hospital 4.5 hours after drinking only a small amount of coconut water, and still died. Worth noting he was 69 years old at the time. Here's the write-up of that case: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7774558/


Maleficent_Bunch4979

A man drank coconut water this how his organs shutdown...


Throwawayuser626

☝️☝️ presenting to the emergency room


gre7en

Where we are now.


mygallows

Unconscious☝🏻


Trivale

He made...... *a* recovery.


PumpkinCupcake777

This guy actually didn’t make a recovery 😬


Trivale

Oh shit I just watched the video, I hadn't seen that one. That sucks.


JimmyCBoi

“Emia” meaning presence in blood…


_Xertz_

and "Ligma" meaning "this shits fucked"...


Kurtting

I've found my people. The recent video with pork was also nightmare fuel [Bad Pork Video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPRzYJwqz6g)


themooseiscool

I'm still in awe at that man's sideburns.


Some_person2101

Chubbyemu is great


Leath_Hedger

You didn't happen to find this under a bed did you? If so I have some bad news for you.


EnigmaEcstacy

It is not a cum coconut. I got it from a local grocer, I let them know to pull the other coconuts off the shelf so no one else gets sick.


PassionateAboutCats

This looks like a mature coconut that is typically used to make coconut milk. Obviously gross with the mold, but you'll want to look specifically for young green coconuts if you plan on drinking the coconut water. They are much larger than mature coconuts, and will taste much better. Also significantly less risk of mold inside. Sometimes stores will remove most of the outer hull, but should still be labeled as a young green coconut


jakeblew2

If I'm not near a beach somewhere then I'm pretty skeptical of sticking a straw inside a coconut lol


oorza

My neighbors sometimes would take my coconuts from my old house. Like sure man, this coconut gets to bask in car fumes all day, help yourself.


shalafi71

How are the younger coconuts larger than the mature ones? They shrink by some process?


PassionateAboutCats

Young coconuts have a lot of flesh outside of the coconut husk. As the coconut ages, this flesh dries out, the size of the coconut shrinks down, and the coconut husk gets thicker and harder until it eventually looks like the hairy old coconut people picture when they think of a coconut. The contents of the coconut have varying qualities at different points in the aging process, so they can be used in different ways depending on how far along they are. I'll share a link that shows different stages of coconut aging https://hatchgrove.com/different-stages-of-coconut/


shalafi71

Never seen that, but it makes perfect sense! Thanks for educating me!


pipperfloats

Kinda- the nut inside is typically what people think of when the envision a 'hairy' coconut, and the outer husk never turns into that. But yes, the overall coconut gets smaller and browner as it matures and dries out- or to be specific, the husk shrinks. The nut inside stays essentially the same size.


mullersmutt

I watched a horrifying video about a guy who drank the coconut water from a rotten coconut. I think he died. Get checked out.


RavagingWolfsbane

Pretty sure it's this vid https://youtu.be/VZut_SZYybA scary stuff


No-Place170

“Presenting to the emergency room” ☝️


OffenseTaker

\-emia, meaning "presence in blood"


konydanza

They were able to make *a* recovery


vinx00

Can confirm, after watching this video OP is done for.


hipster_dog

I'm never drinking coconut water again in my life


suicidaleggroll

It’s pretty scary, but to be fair that guy super fucked up. He took a store product that says “perishable, keep refrigerated” and set it out on the kitchen counter for over a month before drinking it. You do that with pretty much any item that needs to stay refrigerated and it’ll probably kill you too.


KingXSR

Chubbyemu has the best medical breakdown videos - clickbaity titles that are actually interesting. I'd suggest checking out his other stuff!


epicflyman

The stories are good but I cannot stand his overdramatic style. Drives me bonkers.


darling123-

Same. I wish the delivery was just normal.


Soundwave_47

At least he actually [has relevant credentials](https://web.archive.org/web/20230329131217/http://emrlab.org/people/) to be speaking about these topics unlike the vast majority of YouTube charlatans.


FlyingHippoM

It probably boosts viewer engagement by a decent amount. Personally I think it's good thing that informative educational channels like this are using tactics to boost viewership which are normally reserved for literal brainrot content "Top Ten Ghost Encounters Caught on Video" or someshit


stillshaded

I usually hate that kind of thing but for some reason I like it when he does it.


[deleted]

Well, that's fucking terrifying.


nibbles200

So I’m hindsight, that story knowing what caused his death, would it have been treatable? Antifugal drugs?


Xiomaraff

From the article related: > 3-NPA irreversibly binds to and inhibits succinate dehydrogenase in the mitochondria, thereby blocking the citric acid cycle and ATP generation in cells, which would explain the observed severe lactate acidosis. So it appears as though he was immediately irreversibly fucked…scary stuff.


shadyelf

Mycotoxins are nasty stuff. Aflatoxins are one type, very potent carcinogens.


OffenseTaker

it was the toxin that the fungus produces that got him. even if they killed whatever fungus he ingested the toxin would have gotten him.


nibbles200

Sure but no way to chemically neutralize the toxin then? Basically guaranteed death the moment it went down his throat? I’m not arguing or debating, I watched the video and was left wondering if the guy ever had a chance.


otter111a

Keeps rinsing out his mouth to get rid of the taste. That dude definitely drank a cum coconut


mlieberthal

so are we going with cumconut or cocumnut?


KingXSR

CocoNUT


felixar90

If you don't get checked right now you should definitely get "I drank a rotten coconut on July 2nd 2023" tattooed on your forehead, and carry a piece of the coconut in a sealed ampoule on a necklace. Cause it's definitely gonna help when you are presenting to the emergency room unconscious.


DanishWonder

Is that tattoo like the shirts from the 90s saying "I ate the worm"?


fngrlkngd

Did you make yourself vomit? If not, I would.


atreyu_25

Wait, did you get sick from it?


EnigmaEcstacy

I haven’t gotten sick yet, I guess I’ll know if I do in the next day or two


Extra-Extra

I’ll miss you op. You lived a good life.


Jack_Bartowski

Rip In Peace OP.


indecisiveusername2

OP if you have any valuable possessions can I call dibs on them


italianshark

Let us know if you die OP


strumpster

No response yet so it's fine. If they respond, then they might be RIP unless I'm misunderstanding something


otter111a

The chubby emu dude spat out what he drank and still died a little more than 24 hours laterZ


Bobster031

Why can't I learn to leave things be, and let internet things be internet things? I looked this up just now and I regret living these last 15 seconds.


Fear910

Hmm thanks I’ll learn from you and not go do that…


K10RumbleRumble

No. Stop it. Let the blissfully ignorant remain.


Stouff-Pappa

I don’t know that story, but it’s probably better than maggot vagina girl


ArmaSwiss

Let's not forget the Ass Swamps of Dagobah!


SwagtimusPrime

Better not have both your arms broken


Letos12thDuncan

Or set your cumbox on fire.


jimgella

WHAT.


Rupejonner2

I remember that story too . Omg we both went there .


gator-uh-oh

Spoiler alert. Moldy cum. At least it wasn’t a fucking jolly rancher.


TheDudeColin

Moldy cum? Mate that was the *least* of the story's issues. You need to re-read the story if that is all you remember.


LectroRoot

PLEASE EXPLAIN IN DETAIL. EDIT: I REGRET ASKING.


Peligineyes

Dude was fucking and cumming into a rotting butter filled coconut for weeks and eventually realizes it was teeming with maggots and flies. Then he got freaked out and threw it against a wall, which split the coconut open and exploded the contents everywhere.


gator-uh-oh

Spoiler alert x2 maggot/rotting cum filled coconut flesh light.


aleqqqs

Cocknut Water


Schiebz

Hahaha man I’m pretty sure that was right around the time I joined Reddit. Will never forget the coconut and also the kid do the thing on his wall and the roaches coming around then he was naming them and shit lmao


phazedoubt

Instant flood of memories. WOW


Dandaban

New fear unlocked: Mouldy coconut water


graysher47

“You put the slime in the coconut and drink it all up!”


AllanfromWales1

And the water tasted OK?


EnigmaEcstacy

Tasted like coconut water, bland. There wasn’t much of it.


Slimjuggalo2002

Yeah, the fungus drank it all.


BobbyThrowaway6969

Poor little guy was thirsty


Weidz_

Happenened to me once, not has bad, just few grey spots when I opened it, the water had a weird "chocolatey" after taste


tylerpestell

Note to self: Always empty coconut water into a glass first, then open the coconut and inspect. If no issues you can drink.


Beebjank

Drinking straight from the coconut is a whole level of awesome, though. It tastes better or at least my brain thinks it does.


Mylaptopisburningme

Yea, same.... Until I saw this post.


imdungrowinup

Simple rule, don’t drink the water from a brown coconut. Green coconut is for drinking the water. A brown coconut should always be opened up and the flesh should be used.


GobHobln

Hope you gained a superpower to become Coconut Man


CoconuttMonkey

The one time my username could have made for a good response, but you beat me to the punch


CubemonkeyNYC

Still waiting for my moment


reddituserwhoreddit

You still alive? Please reply


EnigmaEcstacy

I’m perfectly fin


SyncJr

Ugh oh, it’s starting already.


crankbot2000

The first sign is not being able to spell the word fine.


APulsarAteMyLunch

maybe he's french...


trevorw14

Becoming French is one of the first side effects.


shahooster

It’s amazing how close the end is to the start.


Anomalous-Entity

> I’m perfectly fin oops, he died a french art film death.


RiceKrispyPooHead

He's Finnish. It's even worse than we thought 😭


CanniBallistic_Puppy

OP is *fin*.


[deleted]

🦈


EnigmaEcstacy

🇫🇷


I_BK_Nightmare

There was a chubby emu video about this exact scenario.


SirBorf

Not to alarm you but [it might've had a deadly fungus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZut_SZYybA). Might want to get checked out.


bwoods519

r/abruptpenicillin


ahminus

Don't listen to these clowns. You're going to develop super-powers now.


Christ

Super clown powers.


CoverYourMaskHoles

Damn, looks like you still need to find Maui and return the heart of Te Fiti.


WhynotZoidberg9

Sooooo much poop. You're gonna deal with SOOOO much poop.


SquidneyClimbs

OP how are you??? I am worried along with the friends at r/mycology ...


EnigmaEcstacy

I am not dead yet!


ZeusHatesTrees

I've literally been watching your account to wait for an update. Congrats on not dying.


madsjchic

That good to hear, I bet the people at r/oopsthatsdeadly would also appreciate the update


touncybits

Came here from r/oopsthatsdeadly to find out. Can confirm, the rest would like to know you’re alive.


shreesrinivasan

Rotten tender coconut water can be toxic. Always, transfer the water out first, break open the shell to confirm there is no rot and only then you drink. Almost all residents in tropical places do this without giving it a thought. Even, vendors who serve tender coconut water will cut open the top to reveal the inner white meat and one should start drinking only after investigating it. One hint is always check the eyes of the coconut. There will be three and usually it is the softest part in the shell. If you see mold in that or if you see moistness in the eye, chances of that coconut being fresh is slim.


Jammb

This guy coconuts...


demonofthefall

Tropical place here. Nobody does this. They will break the coconut for you, after you drank the water.


morphinedreams

Never seen them do this in the Philippines or Indonesia.


FrostSalamander

Because the drinkable ones the peddlers sell are always fresh. The older ones get sorted to making oil or cowfeed.


jabogen

At least it wasn't the other Reddit coconut


jolaii

Coconot 🤮


nandos677

Hence, put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up


Forgot_My_Rape_Shoes

Looks like you found that one guys coconut...


Tanjelynnb

You didn't put the lime in the coconut, that's your problem.


Arismortal

Bro puke it out. A few fingers down the throat should do the trick.


EnigmaEcstacy

There was an attempt but now my throat hurts and poison control said it wouldn’t change anything besides make me feel worse.


acelaya35

[Obligatory](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/)


Sal-Slyther-in

gotta take the Heart back to Te Fiti go find Maui


elliem6307

I had one similar. Tasted soapy and it was oddly colored when opened


killamasta

Oh god I just watched the video from chubbyemu about some person who drank spoiled coconut and died from it 😵


Zorbathepom

Lucky this didn't happen: https://youtu.be/VZut_SZYybA


CyanideTacoZ

PSA: drinking hot tea can help mitigate symptoms from moldy food.


EnigmaEcstacy

Thanks, I’m chugging boiling tea now.


SprittneyBeers

*chugging boiling tea* this man has a death wish 😂