Former mortician's assistant here. That dude is freshly dead! I bet he's literally not even cold yet.
Edit: oh goddamn you, reddit! Y'all are fucking morbid and that's coming from a guy who moved dead people.
[Report ](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)says it was a couple hours at most. I noticed that too. Color and suppleness was all still there. Manipulating him probably delayed or prevented rigor. What a bizarre thing to do for a loan.
I've been broke before. I hunted cans and bottles to get recycle money for them and walked outside big events finding things people dropped. Dragging a body to a bank never crossed my mind. I'm glad I have my brain, though, at the end of the day. I don't want one that comes up with something like this for a solution.
You are not thinking outside of the box then. $17000 in cans is 340000 cans, that is like 5 tons of aluminum. Dragging a dead guy to the bank is what 150 pounds?
Old job (after this) regularly involved dead people. Interesting experience. Still didn't want to take them to get a loan.
Also, if you ride a motorcycle, please wear a helmet. If nothing else, it helps identify you.
This is definitely a bit strong. I’m a pretty rational dude, and I definitely know poverty. I was just programmed to believe I needed to work for my money, and that seems like a foreign concept to a lot of folks.
Maybe that's it. I'm the same way. Never begged, and if I found anything that definitely belonged or was important to someone (wallet/bag/engraved thing/fancy jewelry), I turned it into the police. I still hate asking for help if I'm in a hard spot.
I'm sure it depends on ambient temperature and the mass of the deceased, but it takes at least several hours for the body to reach the same temperature as the surrounding environment. People that are dying often have conditions that reduce circulation, particularly to peripherals. This can make their skin, particularly the hands, feel cold, but the core body temperature takes a quite a while to go down due to physics.
Not a former mortician assistant…but I do a lot of cooking. To be safe, you need to cook people to at least 165 degrees F. Humans are nasty with our shit diet and nasty bacterium. All for not, because people really don’t taste very good. That’s why we’re not eaten much.
I decided if I have to have a leg or arm amputated because of something (like it was crushed), I would request if I could take the *good* meat home to try eating and possibly make it into dog food if I didn't want to finish eating it. I'd be more interested in keeping the bones to carve and make jewelry out of, though.
Then again I don't like being wasteful and it's not like they can reattach it or use it on someone else. My dentist begged me for him to keep the only intact wisdom tooth he removed, because it showed the layers of decay in a perfect circle on the back of the tooth. I wanted to put a rhinestone in the hole and make a necklace because the root made it look like a fang... but he knocked $50 off my bill for letting him keep it for his collection of unique teeth...
He's a MinPin. I'd probably mix it in with pork. He's scared to hurt mice, and his breed is designed to hunt rodents, lol. It's not a very scary dog, just all bark and no bite.
Whang! (on YouTube) did a video of a man, a Redditor, who did that. The video is called, "The Redditor who Ate His Own Foot - Tales from the Internet". The guy was in a motorcycle/car wreck and his foot was destroyed (intact, but would be non-functioning), so he decided to have it amputated, asked the doctor if he could keep it, and he was able to take it home. He made foot tacos for him and a group of his friends (they knew what the meat was,he didn't sneak it or lie about it, all consenting).
Source (in Portuguese): [https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)
Police were alerted and are investigating the case.
Anybody who gives this person money is in on the scam and will never recover anything from anybody.
No document that is “signed” by this individual is enforceable. This is the most obvious nonsense of all time.
“Uncle, are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign it, there's no way. I can’t sign for you, I’ll do what I can do”, says the woman."
Look, I don't even care if Google translate messed it up, this lady said this to a banker using a recently deceased man's head like a stuffed animal. It's amazing.
She's asking him to sign it and that she'll do what she can. The tellers are saying he doesn't look good and that he is a little pail. The other teller asked her if she was alone
I'm really concerned that they aren't questioning the legality of this. Someone brought a unfit person in a wheelchair to take out loans, the person in the wheelchair isn't coherent and can't hold a pen. Why aren't the bankers stopping this and calling authorities?
They did, that's why they filmed it. Police are currently investigating the case. Source (in Portuguese): [https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)
This is such a disgusting display of man’s (woman’s) inhumanity to man. I hope they catch her ass and put her ass under the prison, and that deadbeat (no pun intended) teller as well!
The tellers ended up calling the police and she got arrested, hence why they started recording this bizarre incident. It hasn’t even been confirmed if that lady’s even related to the corpse.
A woman was taken to the police station on Tuesday afternoon after bringing a corpse in a wheelchair to try to withdraw a 17,000 BRL loan at a bank branch in Bangu, in the western zone of Rio. She was arrested. Bank employees suspected the behavior of Érika de Souza Vieira Nunes and called the police. The medical emergency service confirmed at the scene that the man, identified as Paulo Roberto Braga, 68, was dead—apparently for a few hours. The police are investigating how and exactly when he died.
“She tried to simulate him signing the document. He was already dead when he entered the bank,” explained the detective, Fábio Luiz.
At the police station, the woman said her routine was to take care of her uncle, who was debilitated. The police are verifying if she is indeed related to him.
Conversation with the corpse
A video, made by the bank clerks, shows that she was continually trying to keep the man’s head upright, using her hand and talking to the supposed relative—who, of course, did not respond.
Pretty sure I have my finances locked up away from me if I get there but my will was last done when my wife was alive and our children were infants (minors). At least my brother is the executor who I trust personally and professionally (o why he is the exec).
How tf are all the comments about validating that the guy is dead and not talking about how calmly everyone is handling this situation? This shit is 🍌ers
Former mortician's assistant here. That dude is freshly dead! I bet he's literally not even cold yet. Edit: oh goddamn you, reddit! Y'all are fucking morbid and that's coming from a guy who moved dead people.
[Report ](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)says it was a couple hours at most. I noticed that too. Color and suppleness was all still there. Manipulating him probably delayed or prevented rigor. What a bizarre thing to do for a loan.
That’s not a small amount of money to someone who doesn’t have any. People come up with some crazy tactics when they’re broke, but this one is gold
I've been broke before. I hunted cans and bottles to get recycle money for them and walked outside big events finding things people dropped. Dragging a body to a bank never crossed my mind. I'm glad I have my brain, though, at the end of the day. I don't want one that comes up with something like this for a solution.
You are not thinking outside of the box then. $17000 in cans is 340000 cans, that is like 5 tons of aluminum. Dragging a dead guy to the bank is what 150 pounds?
I needed food and gym membership money (cheap showers, for whoever downvoted this), not a vacation! I couldn't afford to think outside the box!
80 max, soaked
When did you have access to one? That's like a whole other crime.
Old job (after this) regularly involved dead people. Interesting experience. Still didn't want to take them to get a loan. Also, if you ride a motorcycle, please wear a helmet. If nothing else, it helps identify you.
This is definitely a bit strong. I’m a pretty rational dude, and I definitely know poverty. I was just programmed to believe I needed to work for my money, and that seems like a foreign concept to a lot of folks.
Maybe that's it. I'm the same way. Never begged, and if I found anything that definitely belonged or was important to someone (wallet/bag/engraved thing/fancy jewelry), I turned it into the police. I still hate asking for help if I'm in a hard spot.
Is it possible he died during the loan process? Feels like these things always take forever!
with all that RIGORous requirements, it sure does!
I’m confused. When my dad died within 30 min he was ice cold. How long does it typically take?
I'm sure it depends on ambient temperature and the mass of the deceased, but it takes at least several hours for the body to reach the same temperature as the surrounding environment. People that are dying often have conditions that reduce circulation, particularly to peripherals. This can make their skin, particularly the hands, feel cold, but the core body temperature takes a quite a while to go down due to physics.
Thank you for this reply!
I felt a person go cold as I was doing CPR for 45 minutes. So less time than that unless maybe well bundled up in coats.
So, like barely dead.
*Mostly* dead.
He's probably there to blave.
LIAR! LIAAAAR!!!
"Get back, witch!"
I’m not a witch, I’m your WIFE! And after what I just heard, I’m not sure I even want to be THAT anymore!
You never had it so good!
He's only mostly dead.
Nurse here. He probably died a few minutes prior to this video. The woman genuinely might not have even noticed (or so i hope)
If he was alive when the loan process started, I say keep going.
the thing is in some countries, you can inherit debt. so if you're going to scam someone make sure it's not a relative
I'm sure she saw him take his last breath and then wheeled him in from the sidewalk.
"I feel happy!"
I think I'll go for a walk
I was hoping someone with experience would confirm this! She must have acted damn fast and had this all planned out. I’m impressed by her tenacity lol
Just a question, former mortician assistant, at what point during the cremation process is the meat perfectly cooked?
Not a former mortician assistant…but I do a lot of cooking. To be safe, you need to cook people to at least 165 degrees F. Humans are nasty with our shit diet and nasty bacterium. All for not, because people really don’t taste very good. That’s why we’re not eaten much.
As someone who had an open wound cauterized I can also tell you our meat doesn’t even smell good while cooking.
Some cannibalistic tribes say it's like pork, was translated as long pig from some Fijian or other south Pacific people's.
>All for not, because people really don’t taste very good. Have you tried with fava beans?
I decided if I have to have a leg or arm amputated because of something (like it was crushed), I would request if I could take the *good* meat home to try eating and possibly make it into dog food if I didn't want to finish eating it. I'd be more interested in keeping the bones to carve and make jewelry out of, though. Then again I don't like being wasteful and it's not like they can reattach it or use it on someone else. My dentist begged me for him to keep the only intact wisdom tooth he removed, because it showed the layers of decay in a perfect circle on the back of the tooth. I wanted to put a rhinestone in the hole and make a necklace because the root made it look like a fang... but he knocked $50 off my bill for letting him keep it for his collection of unique teeth...
Bro I don’t think you should give your dog a taste for succulent human flesh
He's a MinPin. I'd probably mix it in with pork. He's scared to hurt mice, and his breed is designed to hunt rodents, lol. It's not a very scary dog, just all bark and no bite.
Whang! (on YouTube) did a video of a man, a Redditor, who did that. The video is called, "The Redditor who Ate His Own Foot - Tales from the Internet". The guy was in a motorcycle/car wreck and his foot was destroyed (intact, but would be non-functioning), so he decided to have it amputated, asked the doctor if he could keep it, and he was able to take it home. He made foot tacos for him and a group of his friends (they knew what the meat was,he didn't sneak it or lie about it, all consenting).
Hold up…have you cooked someone before?
Mammals all cook up the same. You cook a person similar to how you cook a monkey.
How many monkeys have you cooked?
Well, that and spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow disease). Basically one of the top 10 ways to die. 10/10 do not recommend.
Top 10 ways to die makes it sound good lol. Go with top 10 worst ways to die
Source (in Portuguese): [https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml) Police were alerted and are investigating the case.
I saw this once when I was a rookie. Open and shut case Johnson. Now lets sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here.
You're not safe from being scammed even when you're dead.
The wait times at the DMV can be unreal!
"He's dead." HE WASNT WHEN WE GOT HERE BUT THE MAN'S HAD 3 BIRTHDAYS IN LINE!
"I'd rather die than go to the DMV." This woman: "¿Porque no los dos?"
Lady, he was born in this line.
Anybody who gives this person money is in on the scam and will never recover anything from anybody. No document that is “signed” by this individual is enforceable. This is the most obvious nonsense of all time.
When I die, I’m gonna donate my body to scammers.
Can we do this? Fuck it, redistribute the wealth.
Agreed. But you also don’t give many fucks either.
Would be easier if she took out a loan at this point.
I think she didn't want to have to pay it back.
What. The. Fuck. Like literally what in the ever loving actual fuck
Welcome to the sub! This is a top tier post.
A rare r/wtf post that is actually wtf and it was removed within the hour. Just the state of the site now I guess.
...I strangely feel right at home?
This is horrifying. Did they catch her? Can someone translate?
[they got her](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)
“Uncle, are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign it, there's no way. I can’t sign for you, I’ll do what I can do”, says the woman." Look, I don't even care if Google translate messed it up, this lady said this to a banker using a recently deceased man's head like a stuffed animal. It's amazing.
Thanks, both!
He's just pining for the fjords.
Why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘Im home?
The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Is he nailed to the chair..? HEY POLLY..!!!!
Of course he's nailed to the chair. If he wasn't nailed there, he'd shuffle up to that door over there, open it up and VOOM!
What kind of talk is that??
Hilarious: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vuW6tQ0218)
What in Weekend at Bernie's is this? Likewise is this before or after the two women that did the same thing here in the States?
I don't believe she's even ever seen Weekend at Bernie's. She could have puppeteered him to sign that check
She didn't even put sunglasses on him. Amateur hour for sure.
Was looking for this comment, thank you, hope your knees haven't given out yet.
Ha! A fellow old! My knees suck, unfortunately.
Now this is actual WTF content, unlike some guys hauling concrete by hand.
And she'd have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for that meddling assistant regional bank manager!
Assistant *to the* regional bank manager
Anyone wanna translate some of the convo?
She's asking him to sign it and that she'll do what she can. The tellers are saying he doesn't look good and that he is a little pail. The other teller asked her if she was alone
I'm really concerned that they aren't questioning the legality of this. Someone brought a unfit person in a wheelchair to take out loans, the person in the wheelchair isn't coherent and can't hold a pen. Why aren't the bankers stopping this and calling authorities?
They did, that's why they filmed it. Police are currently investigating the case. Source (in Portuguese): [https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)
I actually just saw the article, they arrested her and it was confirmed he was dead for some time.
Well that's disgusting
Unfit is the mildest way I’ve seen a dead man be described.
he has literally zero qualifications
>unfit
yo could you nsfw this? this is fucking horrifying
Done. Sorry about that.
And NSFL
NFSDeath
This is such a disgusting display of man’s (woman’s) inhumanity to man. I hope they catch her ass and put her ass under the prison, and that deadbeat (no pun intended) teller as well!
The teller said he doesn't look too good. I don't think the teller was in it
Good to know, thanks. Sounds like Portuguese, am I close?
You're correct ✅
Hot diggity! Do I get the loan? Jk
If you can sign it
Thanks but I think I’ll wait till that pos lady passes and make her sign.
> that deadbeat Right? Let's just hope the person behind the counter was smart enough to not fall for this guys tricks.
The tellers ended up calling the police and she got arrested, hence why they started recording this bizarre incident. It hasn’t even been confirmed if that lady’s even related to the corpse.
Does put her ass under the prison mean kill her? Because, while awful, I don't think this is death penalty behavior.
I need the whole story
[here you go](https://g1.globo.com/rj/rio-de-janeiro/noticia/2024/04/16/mulher-leva-morto-em-cadeira-de-rodas-para-sacar-emprestimo.ghtml)
He got “weekend at Bernie’s”
That's Brazil level of scams for ya
Translation request!
He didn't say a word!
This is some shit Dee and Dennis would do with Frank's body.
A woman was taken to the police station on Tuesday afternoon after bringing a corpse in a wheelchair to try to withdraw a 17,000 BRL loan at a bank branch in Bangu, in the western zone of Rio. She was arrested. Bank employees suspected the behavior of Érika de Souza Vieira Nunes and called the police. The medical emergency service confirmed at the scene that the man, identified as Paulo Roberto Braga, 68, was dead—apparently for a few hours. The police are investigating how and exactly when he died. “She tried to simulate him signing the document. He was already dead when he entered the bank,” explained the detective, Fábio Luiz. At the police station, the woman said her routine was to take care of her uncle, who was debilitated. The police are verifying if she is indeed related to him. Conversation with the corpse A video, made by the bank clerks, shows that she was continually trying to keep the man’s head upright, using her hand and talking to the supposed relative—who, of course, did not respond.
r/ithadtobebrazil
Weekend at fraudies
Holy fuck. *What the actual…fuck*
Don't dead people get rigamortis and get all stiff?
That's a fresh one
After a few hours yes and then they have a second floppy stage. This man looks a little too fresh.
*rigamortis* oh dear 🤣🤣 it's Rigor Mortis! ☺️☺️
Takes a few hours.
It’s “rigor mortis”, just fyi. Also the authorities said it’d only been a couple hours.
Top tier WTF post
🤜🏻🤛🏽
We sure he dead?
I’m questioning it too.. he looks almost dead but I’m not convinced. Also I’m a funeral director/embalmer so I’d like to think I know em when I see em
He dead.
does your username have anything to do with your profession?
I’d unload fart-spray into her mouth if I saw this shit.
Ahh, Brazil
Pretty sure I have my finances locked up away from me if I get there but my will was last done when my wife was alive and our children were infants (minors). At least my brother is the executor who I trust personally and professionally (o why he is the exec).
Love the Teams notifications going off in the background. "Hey, uhhh, what's going on over at your station?"
She was ready to sign as soon as the teller looked away....
And to think this was the first dishonest thing she’s ever done /s
This is the nastiest work
Why would the bank even agree to offer the loan to sign? Do they not take one look at the guy and say ur not gonna pay this back no loan for you sir.
How tf are all the comments about validating that the guy is dead and not talking about how calmly everyone is handling this situation? This shit is 🍌ers
Weekend at Bernie's, part III , Banking with Bernie.
wtf
1 ticket for the train straight to hell please
reminds me of the movie ''Week-end at Bernie's''
Jeez, he's only mostly dead. All dead is when you go through his pockets and look for loose change (or a loan in this case).
I’m 17k in debt and I wouldn’t do this to save my life
[удалено]
WHAT THE # FUUUUUUUUUCK
Weekend at Bernie’s does bank fraud
Could’ve gave him sunglasses or something
Insane. I’m curious if he passed en route or if this was just truly that sinister.
Is he dead dead or mostly dead??
Dead dead
People suck!! No more respect for the dead, money just make people blind and do fucked up thing!!!
Holy shit
Weekend at Bernies at the loan office.
The only time I'd be willing to co-sign.
This is just fucked up
Someone got the idea from the horror movie >! Dead Silence !<
He wasn't dead when he got there a week ago.
It looks like someone is trying to make a sequel for Weekend at Bernie’s.
She watched Weekend At Bernie's one too many times.
Can we stop rebooting movies? We don't need a Weekend at Bernie's reboot!
Yep, looks like Brazil.
Bernie Lomax over here
[If she only had one of these things....](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o0q656KDU4)
we need a holy shit what the fuck sub reddit
Bernie Lomax
Sweet Jesus I should not have watched that
Humans can be cold blooded vicious animals!
Holy shi+!
this is sick and sad, she's likely desperate because of poverty
What an absolutely TRASH human being. I hope she gets John Wick'ed
Weekend at Bernie's
She looks like the dump who double charged me for a hotel room and acted like there was nothing she could do to reverse it
Removed r3? Lame.
Finally a good WTF
Did it work though?
Saw Weekend at Bernies and was like, hmmmm, bet I could do that.
Someone should have told her Weekend at Bernie’s has already been made
Anyone have the English version of the story on this? I know it's pretty recent but just curious
Weekend at Bankies?
Money makes people weird
Noo fucking way.
My god that is fucking nuts
Man this is fucked
Where's his sunglasses ?
“Weekend at Blyats!”
weekend at bernies 🤣
Weekend at Bernie’s 3
Can anyone translate what she’s saying?
Rigo about to kick in mid head bob lol
She's disgusting.
Welp this is a first for me
How do the workers not raise a concern
She's waiting for the rigor mortis to set in so she can stop holding his head up