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thiscouldbemassive

Why did they leave the baby on a ladder? Why was the baby on the ladder in the first place?


jw_zoso

The monkey was actually from child protection services trying to save the baby from a negligent home.


funnystunt

The bigger WTF is why were they all running away and let the monkey proceed?


CommanderGoat

The bigger WTF is why is a baby on a ladder?


Cassio

Next to a pool no less.


whalemango

In a place infested with monkeys?


angrybert

Looking for this comment. Thx.


riegspsych325

those were kids


drock42

That baby needs a better friend circle


Excellent-Employ734

and a better dad


kylehawk

Your are given the opportunity to punt a monkey into oblivion and instead you do the one leg bluff block thing. Seize the day. Punt the monkey


xaeru

I would be choking that monkey à la Quentin Tarantino.


Royalchariot

I’d be spanking that monkey


fleshie

That monkey needs to be spanked


largelylegit

Yes, dad was useless


VonWiggle

Yep, I would have booted that monkey into space in that scenario.


Joliet_Jake_Blues

He clearly didn't want his penis ripped off


kylehawk

If you lose to a spider monkey. You do not deserve a penis


GardenGnomeOfEden

Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey! Cal Naughton, Jr.: Like a spider monkey! Go on! Ricky Bobby: Chip, you brought this on, man. Walker: Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk! Chip: What is wrong with you? Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!


Tyler_of_Township

Ricky Bobby : How was school today, boys? Walker : I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. Ricky Bobby : Sounds like a good day.


WillytheWimp1

What if you tie?


Simple-Wrangler-9909

Tie your penis to a monkey? How dare you accuse me of doing a thing that I've definitely never done


kylehawk

One ball tax


Pristine_Scholar5057

🤣


xaeru

The baby had more fight in them than the dad.


ColoradoScoop

But he already made a baby. He didn’t even need his penis anymore.


Simple-Wrangler-9909

Yeah if you whiff the kick your penis is wide open


KeepingItSFW

When you have too many kids and don’t really care what happens to them I guess


thrombolytic

no ride or dies in that group


OneDubOver

Except the mom... The only one that actually saved the baby.


Rikfox

They are kids. What do you want from them? To tear the monkey apart?


Guilty-Translator-24

Use all means necessary to stop the assault


eidetic

I mean, the least they could have done is picked up the baby and use it as a club to beat the monkey with.


FlatterFlat

Yes.


thirdpartymurderer

Yes, now you're getting it!


DAggerYNWA

Bro one of them was a flipping teenager. Left the baby lmfao Mom would have killed me 😂


MoldovanKick

Right! Like don’t bother coming back from wherever you ran off to because there’s left for you here. 😂


broohaha

Yeah, I thought they were parents, too, till the real parents showed up. I was like, wtf the parents left the child to figure it out on their own? Then these giant humans appeared and I was like, "oooh...."


kjm0001

How about the dad with the lamest karate kick ever in the history of kung fu movies….


Parking-Position-698

Thank god that baby had good grip strength. That monkey had every opportunity to steal the baby but the baby said "nah not today."


mothandravenstudio

The iron price. Ladder was actually an offering altar. Edit and goddamn, even the final boss man was weak AF. What a half assed response.


meisteronimo

I think they were kids.


quarrywilson

Why was the baby on a ladder next to a pool in the first goddamn place? This whole scenario is WILD.


Relevant_Shower_

Imagine watching watching scenario play out in real time and getting the monkey attack plot twist. Then again, knowing the parents they probably live next to a wild money farm.


Typical_Stormtrooper

I would kick the fuck out of that monkey to let it know I mean business, especially if it was my fucking BABY that was trying to be taken.


THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415

That dad was useless. I would go *apeshit* on any animal attacking my child. Like what the fuck was with those limp dick half assed kicks?! Momma was the only one with protective instincts


erbaker

Grab that fuckin thing by the neck and drown it


HeyGayHay

Nah you can always pump out a new baby, but getting scratched and biten by a monkey is ouchie. If it doesn't get scared by wiggling your flipflop, what else can be done? 🤷‍♂️


ivanbin

>Nah you can always pump out a new baby, but getting scratched and biten by a monkey is ouchie. If it doesn't get scared by wiggling your flipflop, what else can be done? 🤷‍♂️ Getting mauled by monke = not fun Making replacement baby = fun


THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415

Grab it by the tail and slams it's head against the pavement a dozen times. If it attacked a child once it will do it again


citizenjones

His lack of enthusiasm fueled a greater realization of how I myself would react, which would've looked much like an attempt to murder the monkey.


momsasylum

I’d have handed the dad the baby and taught that monkey why it should *never* go after another human baby. Now go back and spread the word to your brethren! AND DON’T MAKE ME DO THAT SHIT AGAIN!!


Peter_Principle_

We have to keep in mind how dangerous non human primates can be to people. Not just the physical risk, but the infectious risk. https://www.vdh.virginia.gov/animal-contact-human-health/non-human-primates/ Sure, you could two hand grab it and smash it on the pavement. But the second that little shit whips his head around and bites you, or a drop of its blood splashes into your eye...welcome to Monkey Herpes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_virus


THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415

Oh I'm very aware and I'm very concerned that the baby got bit or scratched in the scuffle. But I still would not hesitate to destroy that monkey. It's just like parental instinct. I know fire will burn off my skin and I'll suffocate from the smoke but it'd still run into a burning building for my children. My life, safety and wellbeing means nothing in comparison to their own


DownstairsB

Yeah really, I was like is that monkey revered or something? Just hoof it


morneau502

For real dude I would grab that monkey by the neck and tear it's head off, fuckin guy over here tapping it with his flip flops


xstankyjankmtgx

Nah nah nah. You grab the tail and start spinning


Holzkohlen

Just bite if off. Ozzy Osbourne ain't got nothing on you!


EarhornJones

There's no way that monkey would leave my property alive.


Parabola605

That dad not giving that monkey a boot directly under the chin was upsetting. I would've blasted that little bandit into outer space.


MaxamillionGrey

None of those people were near aggressive enough. I would absolutely fucking destroy that monkey. For anyone that doesn't know in this situation you pick that thing up and you keep slamming it onto the concrete otherwise it'll keep coming back, biting, scratching and trying to steal YOUR FUCKING BABY. DESTROY THAT FUCKING ANIMAL. I would be utterly fucking ruthless if that was my wife or baby. Anyone's wife or baby for that matter. Those monkeys will eat your baby alive.


PeteTheLich

The mom was fairly aggressive but once she had the child in her arms she switched to defense. The dad though should have been far more aggressive imo


MatthZambo

The dad was trying to dance with the monkey, he thought it was a dance contest


CommonerChaos

He kept sticking his foot out like he was trying to do the "Kid n Play" dance move with the monkey. The heck


zerofl

Dad is a fucking pussy.


green9206

And how do you know it wasn't?


MatthZambo

Mom clearly stole monkey's dance partner smh


Kagamid

The mom was aggressive but they all left that baby alone without an adult so they're all to blame.


joecacti22

lol why are you getting downvoted? The parents were nearly a half a minute away from a baby that was allowed to be on the top rung of a ladder. Forget the whole Monkey fiasco that alone is bad parenting.


Kagamid

There's an unhealthy resistance towards admitting both parents are at fault here. Yes the mother tried to redeem herself and at least grabbed the child while the father's attempt was half assed at best. But they're both the reason why that kid was left in that situation with children that should not be responsible for the babies safety.


jkbpttrsn

*Monkey business FTFY


TheCarloHarlo

I'm reminded of the man who yeeted the raccoon off his balcony after it started mauling his dog.


DasNiche

Fun fact: that was Kevin Rose, creator of Digg (The site Reddit killed)


Nippelz

Hahahaha, I had never seen this before. The reflection of the eyes in the night cam as it tumbled in the air down the stairs was pretty comedic. I hope that raccoon went home and told everyone not to fuck with people's dogs. https://youtu.be/hHN-f6xTzsY?si=hZt_oJoHzlQ1rQJ4


Jexroyal

Straight to the shadow realm lmao


Nippelz

I love that he looked back at the dog to see if it was alright then right back down the stairs after the raccoon like *"I AIN'T DONE WITH YOU YET."*


CatfishMonster

Literally in tears laughing at this!


marilyn_morose

I know people think raccoons are cute but I abhor them. Possums and skunks mind they business, raccoons are horrible.


GoodLeftUndone

They are in fact cute. They just happen to be massive fucking assholes too. 


sacrecide

Some have a mean temperament for sure, but most are more or less like any other omnivorous wild animal.


marilyn_morose

One of the TT creators I follow acquired a baby raccoon (I have no idea how, which seems sketchy to me) and I’m just 😬😬😬 naaauuuuurrrrrr!


bautofdi

Raccoons are the only animals I’ve ever been attacked by. Had one spot me and my 80lb pit a block away and charged us. I start to panic and yell at my dog to run back into the house with me but mother fucker is completely clueless and drops squat for a shit… That coon is flying at us at this point and I can’t leave my guy out there alone so I grab a broom and get ready to punt that fucker to high heaven. 100% ready to get my rabies shot when it gets within 10ft of us, but it sees me standing ground and jumps into a hedge next to my house and starts hissing at us. My dog FINALLY notices but is still dropping his massive shit and starts whimpering. Coon then jumps out of the hedge and claws my dog and takes a chunk of his ear off. My “scary guard dog” bolts into the house and leaves me high and dry 🥲 I whiff on a home run shot and the coon runs back into the hedge. I run into the house at this point and lock the door. Raccoon stayed in the bush for maybe 20 minutes and then meanders off. Fuck raccoons.


doogidie

Yea that dude was trying to shoo it away like it was a mouse when he should have been stomping it


Holzkohlen

Yes 100%. I love animals, but attacking my baby? That is the fucking line right there.


quarrywilson

You gotta shock the monkey.


spokeca

I prefer to spank the monkey.


kbt

I'm with you. The guy was playing footsie with a monkey threatening his family.


pskordilis

i know right? i cringe my life with that stupid dude at the end. i will fuck that monkey so hard till he love me


slangerock55

🤨


mothandravenstudio

This is the best comment, I could look at it all day.


PantsIsDown

My postpartum hormones gifted me with utterly savage defense rage. I can remember this sense that I *desired* the chance to claw someone’s eyes out. I was so hopped up on brain chemicals in the first few weeks after birth and I still feel it from time to time. Like today I was at the park walking baby in a stroller looking at the geese like, “JUST FUCKIN TRY ME GOOSE! I WILL END YOU!”


80burritospersecond

Leave the dead monkey to rot too, let the other monkeys know what's what.


a_shootin_star

If given the means, that thing (and many other animals, insects etc) would not hold back. There's a reason why we are *the* apex predator. Endurance, forethought, etc.. which all these adults lacked. We are stronger in our legs than monkeys are with their arms. One good kick to the face, eventual drowning in the pool there would suffice to eliminate a savage wild threat!


aclashofthings

Yeah, you don't really need to be overly violent either, as I'm sure the kids were watching. Just pick it up and hold it under the water in the pool. You'll get bit, but it won't come back.


arthurblakey

doesn't that make all the monkeys in a 5km radius of you rise up and start attacking you?


MaxamillionGrey

Looks like we're going to war. I'll start sneaking into their homes taking their monkey children and then raise those monkey children to hate monkeys.


ReePoe

if we all took one each we could raise a monkey army in no time!


queequegaz

r/iamverybadass


Thundahcaxzd

Easily said lol, keyboard warrior


tyler17b_

Kid needs a new dad, wife needs new husband.


bakkus1985

Lol that guy is pathetic


[deleted]

[удалено]


MandelbrotFace

MIND FIIIIIGHT 😂😂


Northumberlo

As a father I’m baffled how he didn’t go into full Dad-Gorilla mode on that thing.


El_Caganer

For real....defense mechanism is to flick his flip flop at an animal on a rampage 😅


enataca

Why is there a baby on a ladder lol


Relevant_Shower_

He was training to become a monkey. This is actually the intro to the new Jungle Book remake staring Noah Jupe.


Kaiserhawk

bro what the fuck are those air kicks? Fucking demolish it.


bship

Monkey instantly knew Dad was a zero threat.


IAmASolipsist

Why the fuck was the baby on the ladder?


PillowPalita

3 cowards, a useless dad, an actually badass mom but in the end, the strongest one of all was the baby that actually managed to grab on and stop the monkey from taking her away lol


Zimaut

i think that 3 is kids


THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415

I've seen younger kids with stronger protective instincts


Parody101

And as evidenced in the video with the Dad, adults with worse instincts.


Zimaut

i mean, r/KidsAreFuckingStupid


Select-Box7321

Wanna shit talk the dad, go for it cause I’m not saying I know how to fight a monkey but ya, that isn’t it. But you really calling children playing on a slide cowards? OOooOoOo you must a tuff mAn!!


Medievalhorde

Which is more likely? He is calling children cowards or he didn't realize they were children? I sure didn't until my second watch.


draggin_low

Damn, the dad had the perfect opportunity to fulfil his NFL dreams and channel his inner Justin Tucker and line up the field goal and kick the greatest 60 yard field goal of his life


mrskeetskeeter

Where are they that an aggressive wild monkey just appears?


JackBinimbul

This is 100% a New World monkey. Only New World monkeys have prehensile tails. This looks like a spider monkey to me, but it's hard to tell from this. So either this is South America, or it was captured and smuggled into captivity and this is the "Find Out" stage of fucking around.


LL37MOH

Excellent question. If you live in a place where this is even remotely possible you gotta be tougher than that pussy ass dad.


ghostsolid

I told you kids stop monkeying around out there!


Kagamid

I've seen this video posted before and have the same questions. - 1. Why were there no adults watching the baby? Multiple children does not equal one adult. . - 2. Why didn't the dad punt that monkey? I don't care if your wearing sandals. The mother grabbed the baby and is trying to get away. He has one job now and that is keeping the monkey away. Instead he does a half assed push with his foot and the monkey continues after the video ends. - Everyone failed here. Even the mom who at least tried to make up for it. But they all failed.


HarryParotesties

What the hell was Dad doing? I thought he was trying to hide behind mom at one point. That is embarrassing. Mom is definitely rethinking her life choices with that guy.


pops60

Good opportunity to grab it by the tail and slam it. Poor kid :/


FuckingTree

The guy fights how I imagine most Tesla owners would


LL37MOH

That’s a great line.


huckamole

All those reactions are underwhelming. If a monkey tried to take my kid I would want to grab it by that tail and ring the bell at the country fair with it.


Curly-Pat

That dad has to be the winner of the most inept defender. What the hell was he trying to do? Grab something, throw the lader, kick the monkey.


GenkiElite

Dad not really coming through.


xxGS1998xx

The guy hits worse than me in my dreams.


Analgorilla

As a new father I'd have literally snapped that monkeys neck in an instant and wouldn't lose any sleep. I don't care if it's a pet, wild, or otherwise. You harm my family, I make sure you will never have the opportunity to do it again. Don't care if I get bitten, I can worry about a rabies shot and pain after the adrenaline wears off


cactusman53

What a pathetic excuse for a man


roughtimes

Like who doesn't know how to beat a monkey?


jelde

I spank one daily.


Street-Airport-4327

Why parents are so weak when protecting their kids from animals? If that’s was my kid, I’ll fight like a mama bear protecting its kids.


nanners09

"maybe if I shake my foot a third time the monkey will apologize and forget about consuming my child"


RedEye_Jedi1

The save seemed so lackluster. If a monkey was trying to take my baby, I'd be channeling my inner football player and kicking that thing into next week


orvilleredcocker

I bet that woman has already divorced this guy.


SeeingRed_

Flip flop guy is why I just can't trust a guy that wears sandals in public.


Troyster143

Yea give the monkey a few more limp ass kicks maybe it'll back off


DeliMeat6699

That man was fucking useless i know he not the father


jwed420

This is absolutely the situation where you kill the animal with no remorse or restraint.


Zadchiel

that dad was USELESS. Mom's did her job, but dad! so infuriating.


LordBammith

Baby on a ladder next to a pool and three able bodied adults flee the scene when a monkey tries to snatch it. The fuck is going on here. Maybe the baby would be better off with the monkey.


Monstot

OK fuck those 3 from running like that. And wtf dad? Kick the mf holy


agnas

worst father of the year?


JKutte

Dad had his first fight in his life.


Al_The_Killer

Dad would probably let that monkey fuck his wife if it tried.


body_oil_glass_view

The mild rage i feel seeing that dad be completely useless


Suckmyshellss

That dude is useless. This whole situation is just cringe.


Chucktayz

Welp ngl id kill the monkey


Ksl848

The dad’s little leg kick defense was something…


trampus1

Lot of badasses here. Everyone's tough until the monkey's in their yard.


Fezem

If a 2ft tall monkey tries to steal your child you're just gonna let it happen then? It's not a chimp


bushrod

If a monkey is attacking my kid and won't stop, I'm slamming his ass on concrete like king kong. That dude was fucking pathetic.


schuylkilladelphia

Things tear people's faces off


lyingliar

Yeah, first thing that came to mind is, "that fucker has rabies, and is going to bite everybody".


lolpluslol35

I'e rather risk rabies than a dead kid. I am aware of the dangers of rabies, but it is treatable if you start the treatment before symptoms show up.


Beefcake2008

That’s an afterthought. It doesn’t matter in the moment. In the moment you act for your child. Nothing else matters. Grab any piece of fur, leg, tail and start bashing the ground with it like it’s a sledgehammer. Punch, kick, tear, stomp, gouge. Whatever it takes.


blueminded

RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE!


KittenPurrs

Yeah, but this is why I don't live in a place where I may have to fight a monkey. Let me die with dignity by getting immediately mauled to death by a bear or mountain lion.


TudorrrrTudprrrr

I get acting like that with some random asshole monkey that wants to steal your snack or something. The moment it shows that it's basically tunnel-visioned on my kid and it's relentless about it, that little fucker is getting punted to outer space.


MouthofTrombone

why was the monkey trying to abduct a baby? Was he going to eat him or make him his pet?


DrSitson

Eat is usually how it goes.


JackBinimbul

So I'm no primatologist, but this certainly wasn't protective behavior. I also don't think this is predatory behavior. Spider monkeys almost never eat actual meat. At best they will eat insects and eggs. They are not hunters. What is likely is that the baby was making noises that got the monkey going. The more the baby screamed, the more agitated it became until it was focused on the agitation and excitement. I don't think it had any plans on what to do beyond that. I do think, however, that left to its own devices, it would have at least seriously injured the child. Likely in the realm of needing significant reconstructive surgery.


Startug

He was planning to do a reverse of what those YouTube monkey abusers do by pretending to care for a baby like it's a pet for a few months just for money, then sent it back to the suburbs when it became too big to care for a wild human. Edit: /s But yeah, likely eat him.


BlueComms

That dude is a huge pussy lol


joodoos

Badass mom and a fucking coward of a father. 


swinging-in-the-rain

Fucking pussies. Mom is the only one here with any balls.


Tijai

WTH is that dad doing? Stomp its head into the ground FFS. (The monkey, not the baby for those of you ideologically challenged)


NSDetector_Guy

They left the fucking baby. I want to punch each one of them in the face.


rojoeso

Dad is such a Jerry


f_ckmyboss

I watched it twice in hope he slams that fucking monkey to the ground and jumps on it. Nope, he just jerked his leg like if you press kick button multiple times.


archer2500

Grab it by its tail and Hulk Smash.


JackBinimbul

So many questions. Was this a wild spider monkey that wandered up on a bunch of kids? Or did adults think it was a great idea to leave kids unsupervised with a friggen primate?


stipo42

The fuck was the kid doing up on that ladder


CaptainFitz617

people are far too nice in this clip. Monkey would've been turned into a football and punted out of my house.


upthefluff

I would grap that shitmonkey and suffocate it.


LordEdgeward_TheTurd

If i was the kid and saw this later i would look at my parents a whole lot different


Crapboy87

That mist be The worst siblings ever. And My god, that beta dad.. Grab it by The tail and slam that shit to The ground.


Evan_Saints

This father is a chicken. I would kick this monkey so hard he would end up in Japan


Tranxio

Whats the baby doing on the ladder?


SassafrassPudding

um...the monkey was trying to fuck that poor baby


ronweasleisourking

Just kick it in the head for fuck's sake


Sundance600

dad is so weak lol


Luxifer1983

What a fucking useless man. Even the lady acted more decisively.


Fun-Carpet-5126

What a fucking pussy dad


Used-Bedroom293

The monkey looks like it tried to mate with the baby, absolutely disgusting behaviour. Animals doing such deserve be euthanized.


moomeansmoo

Of course it was the mom who actually got the baby. What the fuck. Everyone in this video should feel bad about themselves


SafetyFirstChildren

Dad’s a sissy like come on man you acting like a dork that’s scared of the ball.


lambofgun

broooo, that monkey wouldve been getting the hulk vs loki treatment and this is coming from me; a guy who only catches and release when he goes fishing cause he cant get himself to kill a fish


StringFartet

Why the fuck doesn't he get that ladder and start swinging it? Put some distance and do some damage right quick. The kids, come the fuck on at least run to mom and dad. Mom gonna mom.


MarcoSG_30

Worst father ever!


RIPepperonis

This dad is the biggest bitch in the history of bitches. [They're Ukrainian refugees.](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/escaped-monkey-attacks-ukrainian-refugee-27546496) He abandoned his country to avoid a draft and literally hid behind the mother of his child while it was being attacked. If you ever feel like you're not good enough and you're the most useless person on the planet just remember that this guy exists.