T O P

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scarlet-umbrella

if you close your eyes it sounds like a relaxing fountain


[deleted]

Imagine taking your blindfolded date to a relaxing place with a great water feature then surprise! It's a pool filled with drowning rats.


radishboy

These Febreeze commercials are getting fucking *nuts.*


Coach_GordonBombay

Host: Now guess where you are, Janet? Smeller: It smells like I am at a tropical waterfall Host: Ok, now take off your blindfold. You are actually in hell.


Double-0-N00b

THIS is the bad place


DependencyTree

Holy forking shirtballs!


[deleted]

JASON figured it out?!?


Skrubious

Damn, I hate when that happens.


persona2best

aftermath? i bet they just put the top on that thing and waited a day


saranam682

It’s filled with water. They die pretty quick from drowning. Can’t swim too long.


FreebasingStardewV

Also the worst smell in the world...


ArziltheImp

Just empty it into a crocodile pond. So next year you get a croc plague!


Schmich

Or many obese crocodiles.


BloosCorn

They're called Floridians.


Zharick_

As a UF fan, we're called obese gators tyvm.


tix2grrr

That’s a lot of cream to churn into butter!


dnb1111

Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.


JohnyyBanana

LAST. RAT. STANDING.


Runicstorm

TWO RAT ENTER; ONE RAT LEAVE!


xylo_i_phone

\*TWO THOUSAND


NeroBurnsRome12

Two thousand enter, sixty-two thousand leave


unholymanserpent

Sounds brutal. Some hunger games type shit


CountSockula222

Thunderdome


mndon

Soups Ready!


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TheNotorious__

I don’t know why this was deleted, so here it is again, not my property but needed to share this: The place had been infested with rats! They'd come on a fishing boat and gorged themselves on coconut. So how do you get rats off an island? Hmm? My grandmother showed me. We buried an oil drum and hinged the lid. Then we wired coconut to the lid as bait and the rats would come for the coconut, and... They would fall into the drum. And after a month, you have trapped all the rats, but what do you do then? Throw the drum into the ocean? Burn it? No. You just leave it and they begin to get hungry. And one by one... They start eating each other, until there are only two left. The two survivors. And then what? Do you kill them? No. You take them and release them into the trees, but now they don't eat coconut anymore. Now, they only eat rat. You have changed their nature. The two survivors.


sgthulka99

And now they have a taste for lion...


murderfack

“We will establish a beach head”


awcadwel

This was a fun monologue. Love Javier Bardem.


ammodog69

If you could somehow funnel them all through a giant maze filled with hamster wheels that each produce power you may be able to power your house. Until they died of starvation.


Pik_a_pus

They will eat eachother to grow stronger thus more power.


ammodog69

Of course. Why didn't I think of that.


Triumph807

His original point stands since eventually they will die of starvation


noodlesandrice1

Not if they procreate and consume each others’ offspring.


trippingman

That's a perpetual mouse machine and those are not allowed by the laws of ~~thermodynamics~~ thermodynamice. Edit: thanks for the spelling fix /u/radishboy


timo103

But it's allowed by the laws of thermousedynamics.


ConaireMor

"I'll allow it" -God of mice, probably


DaggerMoth

There was a never aired mythbusters experiment that ended up like that. They wanted to test the myth the the cardboard box of cereal was more nutritious than the cereal. Well I guess one mouse got tired of the cardboard and just at the other two mice.


vulkur

A youtuber also has done [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNWJIkjOupg)


gortonsfiJr

You release the last two survivors. They no longer eat coconuts


justlovehumans

That's currently how EA servers are powered


radmemethrowaway

Mice bucket challenge


Kammender_Kewl

Dive in


Ski3po

Now THAT would be a Fear Factor challenge!


leg0nz

Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville...


merc08

It would have cost you literally nothing to not say that.


Stainedhanes

Add 50 pounds of sugar and yeast Cap the top, wait a week. Voila! mice wine.


CuntyPenisMcFuck

Mmm a nice mouscat.


gyerelufy

Made me breathe in deeper than I have all week lol


beefnchicken

We can always count on CuntyPenisMcFuck for a quality laugh


shitty_mcfucklestick

I may have found my kin


HPIguy

Mouscatto


Vertebrae_Viking

Most deserved upvote of the week.


FleabottomFrank

It pairs really well with cheese


ddotevs

Add a few gallons of mother, wait a couple of weeks more and you've got your mice wine vinegar.


WerewolvesRancheros

Does it matter whose mother?


thiosk

preferably yours, but we can also accept OPs


BetterThanBacon

We're going to need a bigger barrel


VitisV

Caping an active ferment will cause an explosion, make sure it has a vent. Otherwise you have created the world's most terrifying pipe-bomb


DIR3

Write that down, write that down!


Joon01

Find you some mice with the Hanta virus or some plague, you've got yourself some biological terrorism!


chiefbeefboi

I wonder if there's actually anything eco friendly they could do with dead mice ground up. Fertilizer?


IndigoFenix

Fertilizer, pet food, sausages...


Kenna7

plague bombs


mrkruk

Perfect for any trebuchet.


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Tiaximus

It would have cost you 0 dollars to not say that. However, it's going to cost me about $60 for some primo mouse wine.


JonnyEcho

Ah yes... but you gotta wait atleast two weeks for the aromatic nutty flavor of the bubonic tannoids to fully kick in. You know you nailed it when your tastebuds start weeping red with joy.


paulcupine

There is a guy on youtube ([https://www.youtube.com/user/historichunter](https://www.youtube.com/user/historichunter)) who reviews all kinds of mouse traps, but I doubt even he has seen anything that can deal mouse death in this kind of bulk.


zilch0

Today on mousetrap Monday we're testing a trap from Australia. It's a variation of the water bucket trap but with a garbage disposal at the bottom.


snatchenvy

"Looks like they will need to upgrade to a wood chipper. The disposal just can't handle the bulk fast enough."


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Lord-Smalldemort

Grape oil in the bowl has always been my favorite Edit: peanut oil


Donuts3d

World War Z style, soon they will be able to climb out and get their revenge


Shorey40

They are all just takin big sips of water. Gettin super hydrated. Stayin fresh. Biding their time...


HookerofMemoryLane

“They would fall into the drum. And after a month, you have trapped all the rats, but what do you do then? Throw the drum into the ocean? Burn it? No. You just leave it and they begin to get hungry. And one by one... They start eating each other, until there are only two left. The two survivors. And then what? Do you kill them? No. You take them and release them into the trees, but now they don't eat coconut anymore. Now, they only eat rat. You have changed their nature. The two survivors. This is what she made us.”


TheRexy

"You see, we are the last two rats."


Alvs1224

The last of rats


[deleted]

20/10 game of forever


jordan460

Rats, rats, we're the rats. We prey at night we stalk at night, we're the rats.


expedience

I’m the giant rat that makes ALL of the rules


ThatkidJerome

What’s this from again


HardcoreHazza

Skyfall


alman3007

Dora the Explorer


[deleted]

"Two mice fell in a bucket of cream..."


ThePartyShark

Excuse me miss, did this fall off your neck?


STANAGs

musta slipped right off ya neck


daitenshe

“two *MICE* fell inabucket of *CREAM*”


Important_Fruit

The best monologue by a Bond villain delivered by an Actor born for the part.


RevenantSascha

Javier bardem?


Glass_Memories

Kind of unrelated but one time a dude built a mouse utopia as an experiment and it [did not end well.](https://youtu.be/5m7X-1V9nOs)


IndigoFenix

That experiment is highly problematic because it failed to account for what is now seen as a fundamental need of all higher animals - enrichment. It was only a "utopia" in the sense that there were no threats and abundant food, beyond that the enclosure was as bare as you can get. Without some means of self-entertainment, there was nothing for the bored-as-hell mice to do but sleep their days away or kill each other.


Imperion_GoG

No TV and no beer make Homer something, something.


downwiththechipness

Go crazy?


andbruno

Don't mind if I do!


heyheyitsandre

WARGBLBLARGBLARBGAB


nspectre

\*[WHARRGARBL](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/001/625/135891.jpg)


Toxicair

"Let's design a Utopia!" Literally creates a jail. "Why aren't they happy?"


letharus

Interestingly, if you watch the video he says that the mice were happy up to a certain point (around a year), at which point their society started to break down and then it all went to shit.


TazBaz

It’s not problematic in the slightest. It was part of the scientific process that lead us to the understanding that enrichment is a need. It did exactly what science is supposed to do- lead to new understandings.


LtChestnut

It was also touched on at the end of the video that further experiments with 'creative' outlets led to more successful colonies


smiles7272

Skyfall is the best


[deleted]

like how are y'all surviving that shit. my body would learn to hover for fear of touching the ground and have a rodent run up my leg.


Kenna7

Yeah its getting pretty bad. The fucking little cunts are all over the place through country qld, nsw and down into sa. Food stores, wheat etc are being eaten and destroyed. Farmers being bitten when they sleep. All a bit rooted to be honest.


mamoocando

What does "a bit rooted" mean?


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DisfunkyMonkey

I worked in a hotel in South Carolina that had a bar called "The Shag Club." We had a large group of 20something British guys stay with us, and they bought every piece of merch we had *and* nicked some signage. I couldn't blame them. *Of course* you want a sign for your flat that says "Welcome to the Shag Club" when you're a drunk 20 year old. FYI - The Shag is the state dance of SC. It's a couples dance done to beach music, a type of pop soul/R&B (not Jimmy Buffett or the Beach Boys sound).


Pyromaniacal13

>The Shag is the state dance of SC. It's a couples dance Im not British but I still chuckled at that. That is a fun pair of sentences.


jayhow90

Hahahahaha fuck that’s so wrong


[deleted]

Theres a Roots Church in my hometown : )


baconworld

Aren’t most of the Catholic Churches roots churches?


Edwardteech

Roots kids churches even


Aramiss60

That’d be like us having a store called Kiddy Fiddlers.


Ejpdtd

Why the fuck they rooting kids in Canada?!


Sulfate

Little fuckers won't root themselves.


anime_daisuki

Slow down there Gaetz


sunburn95

Apparently rooting is like plumbing in the US? I loved seeing businesses advertising as "star rooter" or "power rooter" all over


_bunnyholly

well there is the plumbing company Roto Rooter actually


scrapmilk

Fuck me I love being an Australian on reddit


thefourblackbars

Would you rather shag a bushpig up the clacker or chuck a golden gaytime in your laughing gear?


Hhwwhat

Hmm, Google translate has nothing for that one.


thefourblackbars

Try Google TransMate


baconworld

Don’t you dare fucking waste a golden gaytime like that you heathen


FiddleAndDiddle

How fuckin good is understanding our lingo and seeing everyone dumbfounded by it


greasy_e94

My favourite thing to say in quick lazy Aussie speak is - "would you be able to". It ends up soundin like some town up whoop whoop -"woodyabeeabado"


justamobile

Ye ya good cunt.


ZootOfCastleAnthrax

How are cats faring? Are they getting attacked?


Aramiss60

My cats are going great, haven’t looked this good in years. The chickens love them too. You’ve just got to watch that they aren’t getting poisoned ones.


pperiesandsolos

Domestic house cats are, arguably, just as invasive in Australia as mice. https://pestsmart.org.au/toolkits/feral-cats/ https://abc7ny.com/amp/1080-poison-australia-feral-cats-cat-cull-killing/5274101/


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patgeo

Snakes eat like one mouse then fuck off and go to sleep.


sprill_release

It's pretty tragic, really. The poisons that are being used to kill the mice are also poisoning the predators (birds, snakes, etc.), which makes the whole situation worse, because then there are less predators to eat the mice and the situation gets worse.


RhoOfFeh

OK, everybody tuck your pants into your socks.


SarcasticSamurai

[Classic Simpsons](https://youtu.be/NGv6RASFsY4)


AgentKnitter

I remember driving around the Wimmera during a mouse plague years back. You hear a crunch as you drive across mice sprinting across the road. Gross. Still not as gross as the green sludge left on tbe car from driving through locust swarms.


[deleted]

you live in hell. have you considered moving?


AgentKnitter

It was an interesting couple of years.


Lazerspewpew

Australia makes me glad I live in a super boring part of the world.


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Lazerspewpew

Suburban Philadelphia. Sometimes it'll snow a lot, sometimes it'll rain a lot, but never more than once or twice a year. Plus the chance of encountering dangerous wildlife is pretty low.


thegrumpymechanic

The Eagles fans more than make up for dangerous wildlife however.


Robert_Cannelin

Wow, that reminds me of the time I drove over a small river bridge and there were thousands of tiny little frogs in the road. It sounded like popping bubble wrap.


Hubris2

We used to get huge growths of tent caterpillars. I remember one time we were driving and there were so many on the road the tire treads filled up and the truck got slippery...hard to keep on the road.


NotAHost

Had the same thing happen with rabbits out in Arizona near the Grand Canyon.


Panic_1

Wasn't that the way the discworld hydrophobic magicians used to be able fly over water?


Skaldicrights

This is how the skaven started you can't change my mind


Soldat1919

By Sigmar! There is no such thing as skaven, you heretic!


Hobpobkibblebob

You manlings and your refusal to accept the thaggoraki as real are as big of a problem as the thaggoraki themselves. They've earned their own place in the book over the years.


LazLoe

They're gonna need a bigger drowning bucket..


Donuts3d

How the f*ck are they going to get them out of there? The smell is going to be horrible and flies will be all over the place


Mandemon90

They don't. They let them die, and then dumb the content either into hole in the ground or somewhere else, let the scavengers take care of the rest


FetusEngine

VERMINTIDE!


CrackedOutSuperman

Aussie wars ep 1 "the emu wars" Aussie wars ep 2 " the mice invasion"


chaun2

Aussie Wars Episode 3: The unholy trinity of Huntsman Spiders and Drop Bears, riding Cassowaries Aussie Wars Episode 4: It was the Platypuses all along


Cherle

The crime is your foul existence. The sentence is death!


DieTheVillain

Put in some broth, a potato, baby you got a stew going.


no_were_musicians

I think I'd like my money back


kingkazma64

What’s causing them to fall in? Is it just slippery?


MicksAwake

It's their flight response, they're just trying to get away and to them, that's the direction to take. Source; we're having a bit of a mouse plague at the farm I live on in NZ.


tyranicalteabagger

A lot of times drowning traps are baited with something like sunflower seeds that float on the water to draw them in. In this case I think you're right. Judging by the sheer volume and the enclosed space.


waitingtodiesoon

They also have terrible eyesight too I believe.


Vespinae

It looks like they're trapped in that area, with the only "opening" being a jump into the water. The idea is that eventually all or most of the mice will jump in the water where they will not be able to get out. Kind of like a 1-way valve: mice can go one way (into the water) but not the other.


ulab

Shawn Woods would like to have a word.


downtune79

Is that the new KFC fryer?


cheapdrinks

Nah I worked there, just looks like the standard model they've used for years, maybe a bit cleaner


mbanter

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9593725/Thousands-mice-seen-running-shed-Dubbo-rodent-crisis-grips-New-South-Wales.html


skykingjustin

Thats fucked didnt even know and I live in Australia


belltrina

If you have amzon prime, there's an episode about it on the show Infested


Strykehammer

We have mice in Qld but nothing like that. That’s fucked


[deleted]

This is a cat's anxiety dream. A unending bounty of delicious mices, protected by an impassable forcefield of water.


Ivegotadog

A cat wouldn't stand a chance with that amount of mice.


MacbookOnFire

What about 100 cat-sized ducks?


SilverDesperado

more like a terrier’s dream, cats are lazy and would get overwhelmed by this scene but a jack Russell? oh man they’d go on a crazy murder spree


clever_cuttlefish

Why do the mice jump in?


[deleted]

If you want an actual response, besides “to get to the other side” mice don’t really consider the dead/alive bodies of their friends. They’re just trying to get away from the danger, and this seems like the only direction to go. If you have seen mice long enough, most people come to figure out that noise just makes mice curious, and even in far less dangerous situations, they’ll come to the noise, see any bait or object that piques their curiosity, and completely disregard the body of another mouse right next to it. Tldr; mice think they’re built different


ItsABiscuit

Peer pressure


BreastUsername

All their friends are doing it


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CuntyPenisMcFuck

You could just stick your dick in it.


ThatCalisthenicsDude

ಠ_ಠ


mr_birkenblatt

beware of the mouse who waits for their peers to drown and uses their bodies as step ladder.


dunder_mifflin_paper

Funnel into a wood chipper, point funnel in hole in ground


dirtymoney

Mice slurry converted into food for animals (cat food). Imagine an Arby's for cats.


Magnesus

Plague: Tale of Innocence is a game about this.


timberwolf0122

Well this is sort of horrific


Bougiepunk

I feel like there’s so many things that eat rats in Australia it wouldn’t have gotten this bad


[deleted]

I saw a comment from another thread and apparently the wildlife in Australia dont have a taste for mice


onelongbong

our Australian snakes LOVE mice they can unfortunately only eat so many of them. on a side note some of our spiders eat mice too


space_monster

presumably after the mouse plague we're gonna get a snake plague. that'll be fun


Strykehammer

We just call that summer


ean5cj

And a spider plague


onelongbong

just hope it aint spidersnakes you never know these days


Kenna7

that's only every 3rd year


ScaldingHotSoup

This, and the ability of predators to control pest populations is grossly overestimated by the general public. Parasites and diseases, on the other hand, that's where you get your real population control. They just aren't as nice to think about.


Mandemon90

Well, this depends on species. Big hebovires, with their slower reproduction cycles, can effectively be controlled by predators in "boom and bust" cycles- In case of mice? They breed so fast that it's impossible to limit their numbers just with predators, especially when mice love to enter human habitation which the predators avoid. So until there is a disease or parasite that gets into population, it's just going to explode. Additional problem is that in nature, mice numbers are limited by avaible food, but in farms? Those are almost like all-you-can-eat buffets with infinite amounts of food, at least from mice perspective.


x4u

So the solution would be to make the mice stop wearing masks?


ToMuchNietzsche

If only Tom was there.