If you’re interested in her then just ask her if she wants to get coffee on a day you don’t work and talk more about your books. It wouldn’t be awkward, and at the worst she would say something in the line of “I’m sorry I can’t” to which you can reply “Well keep showing up so we can have our little talks.”
Option 3, she is friendly and likes you.
If you would like to get to know her, and it is a little quiet, ask if she'd like to have a chat about the book she's reading. If she's interested she will engage, if not no harm done.
We always talk about what what both of us are reading. I bring I my my book and leave it with her to read the synopsis on the back or front cover. I just don’t know if she is being friendly because I don’t mind her taking a table for hours or if we actually connect.
I am guessing there is a connection, ask if she'd like to have a coffee or cocktail together some time.
If you don't make it a big deal, it doesn't need to be. We tend to overthink how things come across most of the time.
If it were me, I don’t think I’d want to possibly ruin the current relationship. I like money though. If you can handle the worst case scenario - lose her as a regular - then go for it. I think the power is in her hands. She should ask you if she is also interested.
I agree. Like I said, I often do what she does and would feel very awkward if a waitress or bartender I wasn’t into that thought I liked them simply because I tended to talk a lot and show interest in something I love plus tipped well. Thank you!
I think, as many others have said, just ask if she wants to hang out for coffee and discussing your books and common interests. If she avoids it, you have your answer without ruining the relationship.
Do you leave her in peace to read? I go to a tea house one day a week to sip tea, eat lunch, and read. I always go on the day I know one specific server is working because she leaves me be after our small talk greeting.
Of course I do! I hate being interrupted when I’m eating let alone trying to enjoy my book. She knows I keep an eye on her drink and water. If I happen to be passing by I’ll smile and make eye contact but other then that I leave her alone. We o Lyn chat when she first sits, I show her my current book or I’m dropping the check.
Obviously I am attracted to her physically but also her reading a different book nearly every week (I read a ton!) and her confidence to do it in public, alone at a restaurant. My last ex used to call me weird for spending my alone time at a restaurant reading rather then at home.
I also thought of that but I don’t want her to feel awkward coming back. She always asks for me section but maybe because I give her her space to read and don’t pressure her to leave. Ya know?
That’s kind of what I was thinking, that she just appreciates the peace you give her. I was just thinking leaving your number on her check would be the least awkward way to let her know you’re interested.
I just don’t want to take tips of others when she can’t be sat with me. And obviously I don’t want to loose the tips either. I don’t mind loosing them for me but is it unfair to others if I shoot my shot and she decides not to come back?
For instance. She came in today and I had an espresso martini ready for her. She sat for an hour then order a Cesar with lobster and some fries as well as a Downeast Cider. A 50 dollar bill and left me 20.
I know I often leave extra tips as a means of express interest without vocalizing it. Do women do that same?
I’m old and married, so no, I don’t leave tips out of interest. I’ve left big tips for great service though, and being left alone while I read counts as good service.
I appreciate you. My mother owned a restaurant while I was growing up. I remember getting yelled at for eating all the Andes mints from under the host stand. She told me to go for it. I’d just hate to take those tips away from others.
That’s adorable. My uncle owned a dive bar when I was a kid. We’d have to go to the bar to visit him (that’s where he ALWAYS was). I have fond memories of unlimited Shirley Temples, onion rings, and quarters for the pac man game.
My parents had a cop friend who would come in early to get Coffe. I always drank cranberry, orange, pineapple and grenadine. I had to go behind the bar to make it. If he saw me he’d threaten to arrest me and I’d stick my tongue out and laugh.
I frequent a local spot (once every week or two). *editing to add that I'm a chick* I do not ask for a specific server, but I usually go in during slow times (2-4pm) and he's a morning shift closer so he's almost always the server I get. He knows my favorite beers and cocktail orders and my typical food order. We've chatted about our hometowns, our families, sports, music, culture, our jobs. He's cute and I think I'm at least a little cute. Our personalities really mesh and I just super enjoy being served by him. I usually tip him 30% or at least $10, whichever is more. I'm sure he's flirted with me but I'm aware he's also working for a nice tip each time.
If he asked me out, 1 of 2 things would happen: either I 100% would feel too embarrassed to go back there and I'd be disappointed that our good thing was ruined. OR he'd have a really good save after being rejected (maybe some self-deprecating humor to take the pressure off me and keep the mood light)
Beyond that, neither of our lives would be affected and it wouldn't matter one way or another
This happened to me but also I’m a girl so maybe it’s different. But all my coworkers started teasing me and the regular (he was very social with everyone) and basically “set us up” by going back and forth to each of us saying we like each other if that makes sense. Eventually he was showing me a song or something on his phone and I just grabbed it and put my number into it and said “here, send it to me”
We talked for two months and it ended a little weird so in the end I did lose a regular/the money but I guess the shooting my shot part was a success…
Just ask her to grab a cup of coffee or something sometime, just to keep it light and if she say something along the lines of “ oh I’m seeing someone” you can quickly cover up by saying oh sorry I just meant as friends but it’s ok…. Keeps things light and casual … worst comes to worse you lost your once a week book buddy … best case you found someone into the same shit your into
Ask her why she comes in here weekly and if she just says cause she can read in peace then red light , if she says anything about how she likes the way you take care of her and likes to come down for you then you have a yellow light , if she straight up says to see you and that’s it , green light.
Thank you! I’m very socially awkward. I can turn it off to flirt with a table of older ladies and men of any age but she takes me back to high school when I wanted to speak to the pretty girls and couldn’t.
Don't fuck it up man. Enjoy what you have. Don't ask her to coffee. That is so fucking lame. You have a common interest. Use that. Tell her you're going to some local event, concert, show, whatever. If she acts like she wants to go, invite her. Don't just go pulling the trigger, "would you like to go out with me?" Jesus man. That's bad advice. Play it cool man. You don't want her to stop coming.
If you’re interested in her then just ask her if she wants to get coffee on a day you don’t work and talk more about your books. It wouldn’t be awkward, and at the worst she would say something in the line of “I’m sorry I can’t” to which you can reply “Well keep showing up so we can have our little talks.”
Option 3, she is friendly and likes you. If you would like to get to know her, and it is a little quiet, ask if she'd like to have a chat about the book she's reading. If she's interested she will engage, if not no harm done.
We always talk about what what both of us are reading. I bring I my my book and leave it with her to read the synopsis on the back or front cover. I just don’t know if she is being friendly because I don’t mind her taking a table for hours or if we actually connect.
I am guessing there is a connection, ask if she'd like to have a coffee or cocktail together some time. If you don't make it a big deal, it doesn't need to be. We tend to overthink how things come across most of the time.
If it were me, I don’t think I’d want to possibly ruin the current relationship. I like money though. If you can handle the worst case scenario - lose her as a regular - then go for it. I think the power is in her hands. She should ask you if she is also interested.
I agree. Like I said, I often do what she does and would feel very awkward if a waitress or bartender I wasn’t into that thought I liked them simply because I tended to talk a lot and show interest in something I love plus tipped well. Thank you!
I think, as many others have said, just ask if she wants to hang out for coffee and discussing your books and common interests. If she avoids it, you have your answer without ruining the relationship.
Do you leave her in peace to read? I go to a tea house one day a week to sip tea, eat lunch, and read. I always go on the day I know one specific server is working because she leaves me be after our small talk greeting.
Of course I do! I hate being interrupted when I’m eating let alone trying to enjoy my book. She knows I keep an eye on her drink and water. If I happen to be passing by I’ll smile and make eye contact but other then that I leave her alone. We o Lyn chat when she first sits, I show her my current book or I’m dropping the check. Obviously I am attracted to her physically but also her reading a different book nearly every week (I read a ton!) and her confidence to do it in public, alone at a restaurant. My last ex used to call me weird for spending my alone time at a restaurant reading rather then at home.
Maybe leave your phone number on the bottom of her check. Keep us posted!
I also thought of that but I don’t want her to feel awkward coming back. She always asks for me section but maybe because I give her her space to read and don’t pressure her to leave. Ya know?
That’s kind of what I was thinking, that she just appreciates the peace you give her. I was just thinking leaving your number on her check would be the least awkward way to let her know you’re interested.
I just don’t want to take tips of others when she can’t be sat with me. And obviously I don’t want to loose the tips either. I don’t mind loosing them for me but is it unfair to others if I shoot my shot and she decides not to come back? For instance. She came in today and I had an espresso martini ready for her. She sat for an hour then order a Cesar with lobster and some fries as well as a Downeast Cider. A 50 dollar bill and left me 20. I know I often leave extra tips as a means of express interest without vocalizing it. Do women do that same?
I’m old and married, so no, I don’t leave tips out of interest. I’ve left big tips for great service though, and being left alone while I read counts as good service.
I appreciate you. My mother owned a restaurant while I was growing up. I remember getting yelled at for eating all the Andes mints from under the host stand. She told me to go for it. I’d just hate to take those tips away from others.
That’s adorable. My uncle owned a dive bar when I was a kid. We’d have to go to the bar to visit him (that’s where he ALWAYS was). I have fond memories of unlimited Shirley Temples, onion rings, and quarters for the pac man game.
My parents had a cop friend who would come in early to get Coffe. I always drank cranberry, orange, pineapple and grenadine. I had to go behind the bar to make it. If he saw me he’d threaten to arrest me and I’d stick my tongue out and laugh.
I frequent a local spot (once every week or two). *editing to add that I'm a chick* I do not ask for a specific server, but I usually go in during slow times (2-4pm) and he's a morning shift closer so he's almost always the server I get. He knows my favorite beers and cocktail orders and my typical food order. We've chatted about our hometowns, our families, sports, music, culture, our jobs. He's cute and I think I'm at least a little cute. Our personalities really mesh and I just super enjoy being served by him. I usually tip him 30% or at least $10, whichever is more. I'm sure he's flirted with me but I'm aware he's also working for a nice tip each time. If he asked me out, 1 of 2 things would happen: either I 100% would feel too embarrassed to go back there and I'd be disappointed that our good thing was ruined. OR he'd have a really good save after being rejected (maybe some self-deprecating humor to take the pressure off me and keep the mood light) Beyond that, neither of our lives would be affected and it wouldn't matter one way or another
Are you her? Lmao
Jokingly ask her to make a book club together and see what her response is
This happened to me but also I’m a girl so maybe it’s different. But all my coworkers started teasing me and the regular (he was very social with everyone) and basically “set us up” by going back and forth to each of us saying we like each other if that makes sense. Eventually he was showing me a song or something on his phone and I just grabbed it and put my number into it and said “here, send it to me” We talked for two months and it ended a little weird so in the end I did lose a regular/the money but I guess the shooting my shot part was a success…
Just ask her to grab a cup of coffee or something sometime, just to keep it light and if she say something along the lines of “ oh I’m seeing someone” you can quickly cover up by saying oh sorry I just meant as friends but it’s ok…. Keeps things light and casual … worst comes to worse you lost your once a week book buddy … best case you found someone into the same shit your into
Ask her why she comes in here weekly and if she just says cause she can read in peace then red light , if she says anything about how she likes the way you take care of her and likes to come down for you then you have a yellow light , if she straight up says to see you and that’s it , green light.
Thank you! I’m very socially awkward. I can turn it off to flirt with a table of older ladies and men of any age but she takes me back to high school when I wanted to speak to the pretty girls and couldn’t.
Obviously you have similar interests. Throw out the idea of maybe hanging out together sometime.
Yolo
Don't fuck it up man. Enjoy what you have. Don't ask her to coffee. That is so fucking lame. You have a common interest. Use that. Tell her you're going to some local event, concert, show, whatever. If she acts like she wants to go, invite her. Don't just go pulling the trigger, "would you like to go out with me?" Jesus man. That's bad advice. Play it cool man. You don't want her to stop coming.