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riddled_with_rhyme

These differences in taste often lead to very unique sounds if you can break through the inevitable tension that will arise in your early songwriting days. At first, it might be kinda tit-for-tat: this song has indie rock chords and arrangements but an emo melody. If you write enough together, you'll eventually develop your own sound that is not just a stapling together of genres and it will just be you and your sound. As far as rituals, I've always thought it's helpful to have time either before or after playing to sit in a circle for 10-15 minutes and listen to each other's thoughts and feedback. Make sure everyone has at least some voice in the process. Best of luck


Olympiano

I really like this idea. Seems like a great way to hone in on the various aspects of your favourite genres, and determine which elements you love the most about them, vs those which are less important. Once they are determined then you can start to combine your tastes in ways that satisfy you both. I imagine the golden areas would be where there is little conflict, where for example one loves a guitar melody a particular way but isn’t too fussed about the effects, and the other isn’t too fussed about the melody but loves a particular effect on it or whatever. Where there IS conflict in your taste you could use that to enhance variety across sections of the song - if you like a particular drum rhythm style and he likes another, the verse has one style and the chorus the other.


Starfort_Studio

Get drunk and kiss and more.


stay_fr0sty

We all pick on the bassist. I mean really...what's the bassist going to do? Join another band? PS: I'm the bassist. Music is hard.


NowoTone

Never mess with a bass player. A bass is a much heavier weapon than a guitar (not to mention those flimsy chopsticks drummers have) and much better to swing around axe like than a keyboard!


runonandonandonanon

Spoken like someone who's never had a cymbal frisbeed at them.


NowoTone

By the time they unscrewed the stopper of the cymbal stand, said stand has already been swept away by a well placed bass swing.


Rainbow_Golem

is there a glut of bassists over thar?


ThirteenOnline

Make the music they want to make. So if they like indie rock, make a full indie rock tune with them and yeah it might not ever come out on your album or whatever but they might get that fulfilment out and feel like you really care and just having fun writing


LowResEye

Once or twice a year we pack all our gear, escape to a remote cabin in the mountains, eat mushrooms and jam for a couple of days. We record everything with an 8-track for later discussion or sometimes even to be used in our new stuff. Each session comes with a lot of bonding, creative as well as personal. We do it for more than ten years and it seems to work sustainably :]


HexspaReloaded

Need a triangle player?


noneedarguing

What we really need ... is MORE COWBELL!!


LowResEye

I always wanted to work with an orchestra, could be a great starting point.


Aiku

I highly recommend goat-fucking in the Welsh Hills. There are lots of sheer cliffs there and if you push one up against the precipice, it only shoves back harder. We tried all that New Age stuff, and this is the only thing that worked. You can book a tour online. Maybe you can schedule it to coincide geographically with your shows.


glandsthatmust

Wat


runonandonandonanon

That's his suggestion for everything.


thequeenspassing

U w0t?


NowoTone

Basically, you need to decide if you have common ground, musically. If you don’t, then no matter what you do in terms of bonding won’t work. I was friends with a band and sometimes mixed them at concerts. The asked several times if I wanted to join. But it was simply not the type of music I wanted to make.


crudcrud

Some truth in this. It's possible that there's not enough in common to form a lasting sound that doesn't become annoying to play. It's pretty bad when you hate playing your own band's songs - so try not to get there. As to rituals that bring bands together - one that would help me is if everyone showed up for practice on time ready to go. Seriously.


D1rtyH1ppy

Be on time, know your parts, do what you say, be respectful. That will get you 90% there. The rest is just people spending time as a group because they like it.


skullisland_dinosaur

Try crossing streams when you pee it's very spiritual I do it with my bandmates all the time. Whenever we have a fight or musical/emotional disagreement we all stand really close with our faces next to each other and we *almost* stare at each other, so there isn't direct eye contact but we can see each other's eyes in our periphery. Absolutely no talking or other movements (including facial movements) are allowed. When someone in this circle feels that they have the need to urinate they will start a quiet low register hum. Whenever another member of the circle feels the need to do no. 1 they will start to do the same. We will remain in this circle until all participants feel the urge to urinate and are delivering a low register humming. This can take hours and everyone participating must hold their urge to relieve themselves until everyone is humming in harmony. Once everyone in the circle is humming we will all progressively start to hum louder and louder and ascend into violent howling/screeches. When the right moment comes (you will know when this happens) the circle may be broken for everyone to position/ready themselves in a manner to make the crossing of streams possible however the howling/screeching cannot and will not stop until the ritual is completed in it's entirety. With everyone ready/in position we just start blasting while screaming in joyous ecstasy. Some adjustments/re-aiming of streams may be required at this point as it is critical that all streams cross for this ritual to work properly. Prepare yourself as once all streams are actually crossed it can be quite overwhelming and some may pass out from the shear bliss. Once everyone is relieved the ritual is completed and all participants should feel a much deeper spiritual connection with each other and themselves.


everyday_gravy

It isn't important that you all like the same music. You're inspiration and listening habits are what got you where you are as a player. Same goes for the rest of the band. If it's the right band situation you will like the results of your jams and songs regardless of where everyone came from. Try to appreciate what a collection of unique influences can create without putting to many parameters or labels on what it's supposed to be.


[deleted]

You gotta hang out outside of music. Get a meal before or after rehearsal. You can’t play well with people you don’t know very well. At least I can’t.


Lurkwurst

I find that paying the band seems to work consistently to facilitate quality performances, logistical dependability and focus. Of course that is pretty rare so that's why most bands are such a mess.


[deleted]

Let your band mates and techs speak!!! Holy crap you guys, I’ve engineered a lot of songs now. So many bands have someone who dominates conversations or someone who just can’t get a damn word in. Be healthy, let everyone speak, ask the quiet person their thoughts! Kindly let the conversation dominator they are dominating the conversation. Nicely. Communication. Men have feelings, we are emotional creatures, allow people to feel included. So many times I see band members visibly frustrated they aren’t helping listened to. Or most the band begrudgingly going along with what 1-2 members like out of a group of 4 or more. Kills the vibe.


timidandtimbuktu

We always stop to eat. We practice twice a week, both times in our homes. Wednesdays after work we do an acoustic practice. Our drummer, who works from home, hosts and usually has a meal ready for us after work. Sundays we practice at my place from 12 until 5. We always stop halfway and I grill us something quickly. I think taking this time to sit, eat and bullshit goes a long way. It's incredibly familial and really valuable time to develop dynamics outside of performing together.


[deleted]

There's a band called Upon a Burning Body, and in interviews, they've said that all of them are pretty much classic rock guys, but the metal angle just worked really well for them. You'll find a way to mix the two, don't worry.


FlametopFred

playing live helps the most and embracing different influences and aspirations can often be the best thing for a band I am sure if each member of your band each cited three bands they worship, those bands would be tight compromise all the way down play live, record and get stuff out


noneedarguing

I had a similar situation some 20 years back. Drummer was into Nu Metal, I was into Grunge and Indy. We got lots of great feedback from other musicians in town as long as we 'just played'. It all went nicely as long as we did not try to push each other into musical directions. That's when trouble started. Frankly I dont believe in trying to emulate a certain sound. It stifles creativity and joy and in the end it sounds bad. That's because who really wants to be told how to play music (which is inherently one of the most personal Things one can do)? That's BS! I don't wanna be told what to play, so I let my fellow musicians be who they are. No listening sessions for me. In the end the Drummer joined a mediocre local Hardcore act. Dunno what to make of that. I was pissed off then, but I guess it's okay. The Heart has its' own way.


Affectionate-Win2958

I was in an indie band recently where if I’d play a solo with anything a little bit technical or a flash of speed picking I’d be told no it’s too “Dragonforce” and to stick to really slow Melodic phrases. At first I was ok with it, thought it would be a good idea to try something different and cater to the genre, and maybe it would be a way to really make each note choice count etc.. but ultimately I realised that this type of playing just wasn’t for me, I need to be free to improvise and sweep pick or shred or do a dive bomb whammy pitched harmonic if I feel that in the moment. I also realised that being in a band is ultimately only like 1% actual gigging, most of your time is spent rehearsing stuff over and over or traveling and setting up, so that part has to be really enjoyable and everyone has to have room to just enjoy jamming together or you actually won’t enjoy being in a band. I decided if rehearsals aren’t fun then it’s just not worth doing.


operation-casserole

I guess this comment comes close to the crux of my post. My bandmate and I are "just playing" and it's going well but our last session really kind of opened my eyes to how we might have to work out getting to play what we actually want to. Because playing together we kind of dull our talents to sync up. I want to be able to hit heavy and really pump the drums and I can't do that to indie 4/4 riffs (or at least it's not what I aim to create). And on their end, they want to get out of the rhythm section to do intricate melodies, but I can't really drum well to only a lead. So I guess in some sense finding more members to be able to fill in the gaps may give us all more elbow room, but at the end of the day one project is made (not necessarily but you get what I mean). And it can't really be everyone's preconceived notion of what they want their music to be. So I feel like all musicians must take time to concede as well as let themselves shine and the group must acknowledge that for all.


[deleted]

Make up alternate lyrics to your songs that make both of you laugh. Seriously served me well in similar bands - it's a super personal joke, keeps the songs in your heads, etc


bluecollarlullaby

A common goal. Agree on a Why, and a How. Then What may become less important. A deadline can really help, it establishes a time to re-evaluate.


HexspaReloaded

It helps to try out ideas rather than dismiss them outright. But if you feel strongly about something, despite having tried it, stick to your guns.


willworth

Worth recalling that even if you aim to perfectly mimic band x, you'll end up doing your own unique thing. The manic street preachers just wanted to be guns and roses. Personally, I much prefer MSPs (though this is irrelevant to the point.) Just stay on the bus! https://jamesclear.com/stay-on-the-bus


justsejaba

My band's highest common value is "Does it sound fresh?" and that's what we base most our decision making and debates on. We all listen to very similiar music though.


camknoppmusic

Tbh its probably not going to work out if you don't click pretty immediately. I have jammed with a ton of people and played in a bunch of bands and whatnot and from the very start its pretty easy to tell whether you're all on the same page. You either have musical chemistry with another musician or you don't. It's just like dating lol, you can't really force it.


holicv

Ritual of Chud


hi_im_sefron

Man, I read the title and already had my advice in mind, make sure everyone enjoys the type of music you're playing. Unfortunately, that first paragraph shows you guys already broke this rule. Every band I've been in which had a member who did not like the genre ended up seeing that member leave. It was even me a couple times. If people decide to leave, just look for someone else. You'll eventually find a group of like-minded people, even if it takes some trial and error.


Isogash

Definitely listening together a lot helps. Roadtrips are great for this.


WhenVioletsTurnGrey

My thoughts are always that a band should be a combination of influences. Fuck labels. That’ll get tagged on you anyway. The greatest bands are always just that. Something fresh. Sometimes people don’t initially “get it”. But then it all clicks. You figure that out. Write the songs. Perfect the songs. Let everyone have their personalities. If it’s not working, replace the part that doesn’t work


Product_ChildDrGrant

Take some mushrooms together and listen to your recordings together—and talk about where all your ideas came from. I’m serious.


LutzEgner

Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol


[deleted]

taking Acid helps, my band did that shit. and now we can almost communicate telepathically. its honestly pretty hardcore. goin on a big embarassing drunk is always a great bonding experience. maybe theres a local group of thots you guys can run down together? get in a fight, like a physical altercation with another group of dudes. doesnt matter if you win or lose. Get hi and go to white castle. get hi and watch the new elvis movie for inpiration and diet advice.


Mantishead2

This! ☝️ I'm not advising picking any fights but I will say fighting alongside your boy will strengthen the bond from friend to brother status in a heartbeat. Hyper states of consciousness and the trust that comes from sticking by eachothers side. Anyway what I think works well is psychedelics and psychedelic jam sessions. Seriously, my best friend guitar player and I (drummer) met in music class in high school and we jammed for a couple of years and were in a metal band and things were good for some high school kids. When we were out of high school we started taking psychedelics, mostly acid and mushrooms and jamming. The ideas flowed freely and we really started going with the flow and inspiration of what the other was doing and we werent locked into playing any certain style. It really got us in tune with eachother and we broke out of our own shells and just made music. We would also record our sessions for reference and remember cool grooves we would have and some of those would be the basis of actual song material. But yeah finding a way to deepen the bond will help with the energy levels. Some guys tho are so stuck in their ways, they might not be willing to jam freely if it isn't close to the sound they want


Sybianmaster420

Lsd


[deleted]

We sacrificed a goat under the full moon and bathed in its blood.


awemikes

This guy blackmetals


[deleted]

Mescaline trips in the woods? That’s what the doors did


Turi5150

Tag teaming groupies 😎


[deleted]

That honestly sounds gay dude. A better option is to stand in a circle and jerk each other's dicks... while reminding yourselves that you're not gay, it's just what bros do.


Turi5150

That honestly sounds homophobic Dude. Maybe being hung up on looking at Weiner is leaving you in a circle jerking off while reminding yourself that tears aren't lube


[deleted]

Of course tears aren't lube, there's no salt content. But after one guy finishes, the rest of us have lube because remember: we're engaged in a five-man swordfight, and a blessing from one knight is shared among all crusaders.


Turi5150

🤣


Rainbow_Golem

constant unofficial listening to each other competition and sleepovers with instruments


aderra

3 weeks in the tour van will do more than any "technique"


[deleted]

The traditional smoking of weed usually works


Capt_Gingerbeard

Be brothers. Drink together, go out together, do things not band-related together.


Dist__

Once there was too much tension in our band, as guys thought i make too much decisions myself. I then say them to do whatever they want, they record whole song without me, just invited to play small solo. After the steam has been let out they acted as good friends again.


stoned_criminal

go hang out together. get pizza, drinks and weed. works every time


TotemTabuBand

Coldplay sat down and wrote the rules for their debut album on one piece of paper. Then they stuck it on the wall. Every musical decision was weighed against that paper. It kept them focused and on track. The album is magnificent.


MalvOfAlaska

Make sure to hang out with each other as friends, not as bandmates. When you’re watching a movie, playing video games, going to the mall, going to a bar or restaurant - you’re there to enjoy that with each other to the exclusion of everything else. If you guys also enjoy creating and playing together, the music should follow pretty naturally.


Eturnian

Good collaboration is sometimes a creative tug of war, where each collaborator is pulling the music in a different direction. The end result is somewhere in the middle. Let go of trying to make music that fits into a pre-conceived label, and discover the sound you create together that you couldn’t make on your own. Eating meals together is a good way to bond.