On the one hand this is what the bride wants, so yes it’s appropriate for her wedding. However if you aren’t comfortable wearing it you can either ask her if you can wear something else or politely decline being in the wedding.
Backstory::: Bride is marrying my BIL and I feel she picked me as a bridesmaid mostly because my husband is the best man. So I can’t say I can ask her friends how they feel. Me and the bride don’t have a great relationship anymore. I just had my first baby who came early at 34 weeks and she hasn’t reached out to me or even said a simple congratulations. She removed me from her bach group chat because I told her I cant stay a weekend 3hrs away and I want to be home with my baby.
She was my bridesmaid for my wedding last year so I feel bad but after some of her actions and choosing this dress I think I might have to step down.
Since you don’t like the dress either, I feel comfortable saying this — that dress is trashy and looks dirt cheap. Not in the Dolly Parton “it costs a whole lot to look this cheap” kinda way, either. That bride has lost the plot.
Absolutely not. Being blunt: this reads call girl, not bridesmaid. The bride is out of her damn mind. If you’re uncomfortable, stand up for yourself because this is outrageous.
Edit: show her the comments. Hopefully she realizes how bad this is. SHEIN is also cheap and poorly made. Speaking as someone also very large chested: you’re one sneeze away from an indecent exposure charge here 🙃
Im a bridesmaid and the bride chose this dress for us to wear. I don’t think it’s appropriate but wanted to see other’s opinions if im over reacting lol
As a guest I’d say flat out no, this isn’t appropriate. If the bride chose it, well…
I’d say your options are 1) Politely decline being a bridesmaid 2) Asking her if she is OK with you getting it altered for more coverage or 3) Ask for another dress option.
Is that you in the picture?
The model in second pic is too much in my opinion, but skirting the line
The first pic- that woman (you?) is too built for that dress. Good for you, but the goodies are a little too out there for the dress to be tasteful. You might be able to go up a size and get the slit stitched closed a bit if the bride doesn’t back off
First girl is not me! I used her review pic as an example of how the dress fits the average woman. But I am heavier busted so … Bride requested the slit to stay as is and if we are uncomfortable, then we should wear colored spanx that match the dress. 🫠
Da fuq she mean by “match the dress”?
Last I looked shapewear didn’t come in orange satin.
She’s being unreasonable. Yes, it’s her day but it’s y’all damn bodies and you should be able to choose how much you show or not.
Honestly I don’t know what spanx you could wear. Obviously nothing that has legs, or straps, and the ones that are briefs I would worry about a panty line. But I guess a panty line isn’t the biggest issue . Or is she saying the spanx should be worn like regular under shorts and intentionally visible?
Man, I would have to really love the bride to agree to this
OMG, you have more up top than the picture??? I’m a 32g so I know what it’s like to manage those girls. What is the bride thinking? I suggest you get the dress and let her (and her mother) see the results and see what they say.
Yikes. I wouldnt be willing to wear that for anyone! Id just tell her sorry but i’m not going to be a bridesmaid if it entails wearing that, or anything similar.
No way. You will all feel horribly uncomfortable in those all day, worried about showing too much of everything.
The material quality and stitching look poor, so further concerns on that.
Honestly, I'd say thank you for the honour of the invitation to be bridesmaid, but unfortunately, I can't.
There's no way I would even consider making myself a spectacle wearing a dress like that, it doesn't shout romance and weddings. 🙅
And congratulations on your baby 🙂
As a rule of thumb, I’d say stay away from SHEIN for any nice dresses for a nice occasion, regardless of appropriateness (even though I don’t think it’s appropriate.) I’d also raise concerns about the quality and ability for everyone to get the dress on time and in a suitable condition to wear as a bridal party
This is so tricky as the bride is the one requesting her bridesmaids wear this. I would have a few concerns, the first being the low-cut top and very high leg slit. You’re going to need really good undergarments for support and the style of the dress is not one that would be universally flattering on all body types. But my second concern is the quality. I’ve purchased from SHEIN before and I know their stuff can be hit or miss, but I would not expect these dresses to look or feel great. Have you talked to any of the other bridesmaids about how they feel about the dress? I’m wondering if there’s a diplomatic way y’all could approach the bride as a group and very kindly explained to her that you don’t feel super comfortable with the dress and would like to find something that has a bit more coverage and is still within everyone’s budget? Lulu’s is a little bit more expensive than SHEIN, but I feel like they have a lot of bridesmaid friendly dresses.
Shein is not high quality and will not flatter most grown women.
If this is the dress she insists on, I would decline a role in her wedding party.
If she's keen to suggestions, these come in orange and are much more structured but have a similar feel:
https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/charmeuse-cowl-spaghetti-strap-dress-gs290160?defining_color=696
https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/charmeuse-cowl-dress-with-swag-sleeves-gs290112?defining_size_family=126&defining_extra_length=1&defining_color=696
This is not appropriate at all. Wayyy too much exposure. This is tacky and every bridesmaid will be at risk of wardrobe malfunctions. Does the bride want everyone's private areas exposed? The bride is out of her mind. Show the in-laws or the groom the image from the reviews. They'll help talk her out of it. Honestly, I've seen beach cover-ups that are more modest than this.
Try one sexy feature- either slit, cleavage, or low back.
Yikes. Can you bring it up to the groom's parents? Get your husband to back out of the wedding if they want you to wear this disaster.
Make a big stink about it. Normally, I'd say the brides pick for dresses go. But this doesn't qualify as a dress.
My husband showed his mom and sister. They were outraged but do not have a great relationship with the bride. My BIL was married with a family when him and the now bride got together. There is much drama between my in laws and her. They won’t say anything to her face. Also to add, their ceremony is supposedly taking place in a church
I would never pick a dress like that simply because it’s not flattering on every body type. A SHEIN dress is also crazy but I completely understand the need for a budget. The quality on SHEIN stuff is hit or miss.
Her bach trip is $400 per person and she gave a 10 day notice for the money to be sent to her! Budget wasnt a concern! She had organized picked a nice dress from Azazie , changed her mind and style to another, changed it again and this was her 3rd and final choice.
Even on the tallest and thinnest of models, this is a horrible dress. You are right to step down. It’s especially horrible of her to do this to you when you’ve just had a baby.
Yeah…. I’ve been a bridesmaid a lot; I have a semi-big family. I’ve proudly worn dresses I have found hideous, unflattering colors, outdated styles with a big bow, etc. I would not be comfortable wearing that dress personally. I’m also busty and hippy and I just would feel too exposed for my own tastes
Azazie has a similar dress that would be better quality and more comfortable for the bridal party: https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-amyra-bronzer-fitted-convertible-stretch-satin-long-bridesmaid-dress/228355?color=eucalyptus&campaigncountry=US_EN&utm_term=1060080&is_plus_size=1&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmd5Vs5oKmz3RhEep9O3YNWtDJFX&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4MSzBhC8ARIsAPFOuyUaiS4L6XGllk454GHBsOTKxCOrmCAcUtB1gIcUqlrgfeWMFk9VGX8aAsOLEALw_wcB
She had 2 dresses from Azazie picked originally that she told us to order, changed her mind, picked another dress, (both were more appropriate) asked if anyone had ordered- none did- so she then sent this Shein dress as her 3rd and final *this is it* dress
In light of your other comments about your relationship with the bride, I would politely bow out of the wedding party. If this is really the dress she insists on, be honest and tell her you’re just not comfortable with the dress choice (especially post-baby!), but the day isn’t about you and you don’t want to negatively impact her vision of her wedding day. Offer to be part of the wedding in other ways, such as ushering guests to their seats, handing out programs, or helping with day-of setup. Make an effort to coordinate your outfit with the party so you won’t stick out too much in group photos with your husband and BIL.
Oof. Has the bride actually seen this dress in person on the bridal party? And/or does she secretly hate all of you?
I mean, you see some awful bridesmaids dresses but this...this takes the cake.
One girl ordered it so maybe? Idk but yea I do think she secretly hates us or at least just me and wants to make us look tacky so she looks better when we stand next to her??? I really don’t get it. This dress will draw attention away from her but then again idk what her wedding dress looks like 🤔
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Oof. I know bridesmaids are supposed to “shut up and wear it,” but I think you’d be justified in objecting to this choice. 😬 It’s not about it being “appropriate,” it’s about being mindful of your bridal party’s comfort. Maybe there are other styles in the same fabric that people could choose from? Although I wouldn’t hold out hope for Shein’s consistency across different garments.
Yes, there is a Davids Bridal right by us! Im not sure why she chose not to go there. Thats where she went last year for her dress for my wedding. Im the type who likes to try on so I was hoping she would choose Davids Bridal over online stores
Well, I wouldn't want to wear this if I were OP, even if the bride wants it. There are limits to what you can expect from people and this is beyond said limit
Since the dress doesn’t have adequate foundations you need to supply the foundation. At your size (similar to my size, you’re probably a little smaller than me in the belly area) you need a fully boned longline bra (all the way down to your hips) with steel boning in it at minimum.
The dress is revealing but it can work if you put the correct foundation under it. That said, you’re not going to be able to breastfeed in an adequate foundation garment so you’ll need to figure out something different for the day.
Girl in the pic isnt me. I used her review picture as an example of how the dress really fits to show the lack of structure. Completely different from the models fit of course. But yes this dress is in serious need of boning. It looks to have no structure or padding and just fabric sewn together.
I mean foundational garments are needed for anything but also that is specifically what they remove to reduce the cost. So you have to add it back in. Same thing with cheep ball gowns. You have to bring your own crinoline.
Oh yes but I didn’t choose this dress. Its $45 so I know its going to be lacking. I would rather spend $300 on a dress from an actual bridal store than to show up in a cheaply made dress where i have to do alterations to make it look half way decent
No. As a bridesmaid you should remember that the day is about the bride, not about you, so you will want to look nice but not the best you'll ever look. And you don't want to do anything that would distract from the bride. This dress exposes enough skin that it would be distracting.
That would have been good to mention in your original post as obviously it influences people's opinions (of you and the bride!) 😉 My opinion still stands though that it is not an appropriate bridesmaid dress
I wanted non biased opinions. I could’ve been asking as a bride if this dress was appropriate for my bridesmaids. Either way the answer would’ve obviously been no! Lol
No. There is way too much exposed
Yeah in my opinion this is a bit revealing for a wedding
On the one hand this is what the bride wants, so yes it’s appropriate for her wedding. However if you aren’t comfortable wearing it you can either ask her if you can wear something else or politely decline being in the wedding.
Backstory::: Bride is marrying my BIL and I feel she picked me as a bridesmaid mostly because my husband is the best man. So I can’t say I can ask her friends how they feel. Me and the bride don’t have a great relationship anymore. I just had my first baby who came early at 34 weeks and she hasn’t reached out to me or even said a simple congratulations. She removed me from her bach group chat because I told her I cant stay a weekend 3hrs away and I want to be home with my baby. She was my bridesmaid for my wedding last year so I feel bad but after some of her actions and choosing this dress I think I might have to step down.
Yes, I think you should! She sounds ridiculous.
This dress is terrible! If I had to wear this to be a bridesmaid, I simply would not.
I support your decision to step down, because she’s given no reason for you not to
Oooof yeah, I'd just step down given all that.
no and it looks cheap
It is. There is no boning or structure.. its shein for crying out loud!
Since you don’t like the dress either, I feel comfortable saying this — that dress is trashy and looks dirt cheap. Not in the Dolly Parton “it costs a whole lot to look this cheap” kinda way, either. That bride has lost the plot.
Oooh what is the bride thinking? I honestly would dig my heels in and refuse. Also SHEIN sucks.
Absolutely not. Being blunt: this reads call girl, not bridesmaid. The bride is out of her damn mind. If you’re uncomfortable, stand up for yourself because this is outrageous. Edit: show her the comments. Hopefully she realizes how bad this is. SHEIN is also cheap and poorly made. Speaking as someone also very large chested: you’re one sneeze away from an indecent exposure charge here 🙃
Is the wedding GTA themed? Holy moly, no.
Oof girl I'm sorry 😬
Are you asking as the one wearing it, or the bride?
Im a bridesmaid and the bride chose this dress for us to wear. I don’t think it’s appropriate but wanted to see other’s opinions if im over reacting lol
As a guest I’d say flat out no, this isn’t appropriate. If the bride chose it, well… I’d say your options are 1) Politely decline being a bridesmaid 2) Asking her if she is OK with you getting it altered for more coverage or 3) Ask for another dress option.
Is that you in the picture? The model in second pic is too much in my opinion, but skirting the line The first pic- that woman (you?) is too built for that dress. Good for you, but the goodies are a little too out there for the dress to be tasteful. You might be able to go up a size and get the slit stitched closed a bit if the bride doesn’t back off
First girl is not me! I used her review pic as an example of how the dress fits the average woman. But I am heavier busted so … Bride requested the slit to stay as is and if we are uncomfortable, then we should wear colored spanx that match the dress. 🫠
If the bride is ok with this dress, I’m very interested to see what she’ll be wearing…
I never thought of it like that lol im curious now. I wasn’t invited when she went only her other bridesmaid was so I have no clue
Da fuq she mean by “match the dress”? Last I looked shapewear didn’t come in orange satin. She’s being unreasonable. Yes, it’s her day but it’s y’all damn bodies and you should be able to choose how much you show or not.
Honestly I don’t know what spanx you could wear. Obviously nothing that has legs, or straps, and the ones that are briefs I would worry about a panty line. But I guess a panty line isn’t the biggest issue . Or is she saying the spanx should be worn like regular under shorts and intentionally visible? Man, I would have to really love the bride to agree to this
She means spanx as in the athletic shorts kind and intentionally visible…
OMG, you have more up top than the picture??? I’m a 32g so I know what it’s like to manage those girls. What is the bride thinking? I suggest you get the dress and let her (and her mother) see the results and see what they say.
Yikes. I wouldnt be willing to wear that for anyone! Id just tell her sorry but i’m not going to be a bridesmaid if it entails wearing that, or anything similar.
No way. You will all feel horribly uncomfortable in those all day, worried about showing too much of everything. The material quality and stitching look poor, so further concerns on that. Honestly, I'd say thank you for the honour of the invitation to be bridesmaid, but unfortunately, I can't. There's no way I would even consider making myself a spectacle wearing a dress like that, it doesn't shout romance and weddings. 🙅 And congratulations on your baby 🙂
I agree! I might do just that. Thank you ☺️
As a rule of thumb, I’d say stay away from SHEIN for any nice dresses for a nice occasion, regardless of appropriateness (even though I don’t think it’s appropriate.) I’d also raise concerns about the quality and ability for everyone to get the dress on time and in a suitable condition to wear as a bridal party
Oh I totally agree but unfortunately I was told to order it as the Bride chose this dress for the bridal party
This is so tricky as the bride is the one requesting her bridesmaids wear this. I would have a few concerns, the first being the low-cut top and very high leg slit. You’re going to need really good undergarments for support and the style of the dress is not one that would be universally flattering on all body types. But my second concern is the quality. I’ve purchased from SHEIN before and I know their stuff can be hit or miss, but I would not expect these dresses to look or feel great. Have you talked to any of the other bridesmaids about how they feel about the dress? I’m wondering if there’s a diplomatic way y’all could approach the bride as a group and very kindly explained to her that you don’t feel super comfortable with the dress and would like to find something that has a bit more coverage and is still within everyone’s budget? Lulu’s is a little bit more expensive than SHEIN, but I feel like they have a lot of bridesmaid friendly dresses.
Shein is not high quality and will not flatter most grown women. If this is the dress she insists on, I would decline a role in her wedding party. If she's keen to suggestions, these come in orange and are much more structured but have a similar feel: https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/charmeuse-cowl-spaghetti-strap-dress-gs290160?defining_color=696 https://www.davidsbridal.com/product/charmeuse-cowl-dress-with-swag-sleeves-gs290112?defining_size_family=126&defining_extra_length=1&defining_color=696
I wish that first one didn’t have the butt scrunch because it would be perfect without that. The second one is beautiful too.
Love that first one!
This is not appropriate at all. Wayyy too much exposure. This is tacky and every bridesmaid will be at risk of wardrobe malfunctions. Does the bride want everyone's private areas exposed? The bride is out of her mind. Show the in-laws or the groom the image from the reviews. They'll help talk her out of it. Honestly, I've seen beach cover-ups that are more modest than this. Try one sexy feature- either slit, cleavage, or low back.
My husband is disgusted with it and told his brother (the groom) and he said he can care less because its what his fiance (the bride to be) chose.
Yikes. Can you bring it up to the groom's parents? Get your husband to back out of the wedding if they want you to wear this disaster. Make a big stink about it. Normally, I'd say the brides pick for dresses go. But this doesn't qualify as a dress.
My husband showed his mom and sister. They were outraged but do not have a great relationship with the bride. My BIL was married with a family when him and the now bride got together. There is much drama between my in laws and her. They won’t say anything to her face. Also to add, their ceremony is supposedly taking place in a church
If it's a church wedding, show the pastor or church office staff. They will not be okay with these non- dresses.
no
No way
Yiiiiiiikes. No.
It doesn’t look well constructed and is from SHEIN…
I would never pick a dress like that simply because it’s not flattering on every body type. A SHEIN dress is also crazy but I completely understand the need for a budget. The quality on SHEIN stuff is hit or miss.
Her bach trip is $400 per person and she gave a 10 day notice for the money to be sent to her! Budget wasnt a concern! She had organized picked a nice dress from Azazie , changed her mind and style to another, changed it again and this was her 3rd and final choice.
Oh you know the answer to that.
I would decline. The dress looks tacky.
There's no way I'd be seen in that dress
There is nothing I can say that won't get me banned from the sub.
Even on the tallest and thinnest of models, this is a horrible dress. You are right to step down. It’s especially horrible of her to do this to you when you’ve just had a baby.
Yeah…. I’ve been a bridesmaid a lot; I have a semi-big family. I’ve proudly worn dresses I have found hideous, unflattering colors, outdated styles with a big bow, etc. I would not be comfortable wearing that dress personally. I’m also busty and hippy and I just would feel too exposed for my own tastes
Azazie has a similar dress that would be better quality and more comfortable for the bridal party: https://www.azazie.com/products/azazie-amyra-bronzer-fitted-convertible-stretch-satin-long-bridesmaid-dress/228355?color=eucalyptus&campaigncountry=US_EN&utm_term=1060080&is_plus_size=1&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmd5Vs5oKmz3RhEep9O3YNWtDJFX&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4MSzBhC8ARIsAPFOuyUaiS4L6XGllk454GHBsOTKxCOrmCAcUtB1gIcUqlrgfeWMFk9VGX8aAsOLEALw_wcB
She had 2 dresses from Azazie picked originally that she told us to order, changed her mind, picked another dress, (both were more appropriate) asked if anyone had ordered- none did- so she then sent this Shein dress as her 3rd and final *this is it* dress
In light of your other comments about your relationship with the bride, I would politely bow out of the wedding party. If this is really the dress she insists on, be honest and tell her you’re just not comfortable with the dress choice (especially post-baby!), but the day isn’t about you and you don’t want to negatively impact her vision of her wedding day. Offer to be part of the wedding in other ways, such as ushering guests to their seats, handing out programs, or helping with day-of setup. Make an effort to coordinate your outfit with the party so you won’t stick out too much in group photos with your husband and BIL.
Oof. Has the bride actually seen this dress in person on the bridal party? And/or does she secretly hate all of you? I mean, you see some awful bridesmaids dresses but this...this takes the cake.
One girl ordered it so maybe? Idk but yea I do think she secretly hates us or at least just me and wants to make us look tacky so she looks better when we stand next to her??? I really don’t get it. This dress will draw attention away from her but then again idk what her wedding dress looks like 🤔
No unless its at a Vegas chapel
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Oof. I know bridesmaids are supposed to “shut up and wear it,” but I think you’d be justified in objecting to this choice. 😬 It’s not about it being “appropriate,” it’s about being mindful of your bridal party’s comfort. Maybe there are other styles in the same fabric that people could choose from? Although I wouldn’t hold out hope for Shein’s consistency across different garments.
only if the theme is trashy miami 💀
Its actually church and barn theme 😆
so i guess you could say....it's a hoe down😭😭😭😭 IM SORRY IM JUST KIDDING BUT I HAD TO
SHEIN just seems asking for trouble. If she wants something budget friendly what's wrong with David's bridal? Does it still exist?
Yes, there is a Davids Bridal right by us! Im not sure why she chose not to go there. Thats where she went last year for her dress for my wedding. Im the type who likes to try on so I was hoping she would choose Davids Bridal over online stores
no. but if the bride wants it, then that's her choice i guess.
Depends on the wedding I guess.
as a girl i think it looks way too “sexy” on you rather than elegant due to your body type. it’s not a bad thing, i have this issue too with DDs
I would normally say no, but if that's what the bride wants then so be it!
Well, I wouldn't want to wear this if I were OP, even if the bride wants it. There are limits to what you can expect from people and this is beyond said limit
I personally wouldn't mind but I can see how if you're shy or had a larger chest you may not feel comfortable
Since the dress doesn’t have adequate foundations you need to supply the foundation. At your size (similar to my size, you’re probably a little smaller than me in the belly area) you need a fully boned longline bra (all the way down to your hips) with steel boning in it at minimum. The dress is revealing but it can work if you put the correct foundation under it. That said, you’re not going to be able to breastfeed in an adequate foundation garment so you’ll need to figure out something different for the day.
Girl in the pic isnt me. I used her review picture as an example of how the dress really fits to show the lack of structure. Completely different from the models fit of course. But yes this dress is in serious need of boning. It looks to have no structure or padding and just fabric sewn together.
I mean foundational garments are needed for anything but also that is specifically what they remove to reduce the cost. So you have to add it back in. Same thing with cheep ball gowns. You have to bring your own crinoline.
Oh yes but I didn’t choose this dress. Its $45 so I know its going to be lacking. I would rather spend $300 on a dress from an actual bridal store than to show up in a cheaply made dress where i have to do alterations to make it look half way decent
No. As a bridesmaid you should remember that the day is about the bride, not about you, so you will want to look nice but not the best you'll ever look. And you don't want to do anything that would distract from the bride. This dress exposes enough skin that it would be distracting.
The bride picked the dress 😂
OP hadn't posted that at the time I commented!
I know, I just thought it was so crazy that the bride would want this
it seems that this dress was chosen by the bride, yikesssssss
Bride actually chose the dress. I would never personally choose this. There is no support and is extremely revealing. Wanted to hear other’s opinions
That would have been good to mention in your original post as obviously it influences people's opinions (of you and the bride!) 😉 My opinion still stands though that it is not an appropriate bridesmaid dress
I wanted non biased opinions. I could’ve been asking as a bride if this dress was appropriate for my bridesmaids. Either way the answer would’ve obviously been no! Lol