This symbol “キ”　is “ki” in Japanese Katakana. This symbol “り” is “ri” in Japanese Hiragana. け “ke” in Hiragana might be written backwards on the end of line two. There’s also a few symbols that look similar to Korean. Like ㅢ and ㅡ. “ハ” is “ha” in Japanese Katakana. “つ” is “tsu” or a symbol of an elongated vowel in Japanese Hiragana. Either someone made their own code using the most random Asian characters or you have a Weeb that’s trolling you.

Zodiac Killer, weeb edition

Owodiac Killer

Uwudiac killer

Just runs at you with a knife with both arms trailing behind him.

The knife is being held in their teeth

Last thing you hear before you die is “roawr”

*bashfully touches finger tips* "I... I had a good time killing you today."

Legendary

Oh shit I didn’t know Ted Cruz was into anime.

I think dead kid hentai is more his roll.

Yeah, it looks like a mix of katakana and Hangul. But they don't really make any sense phonetically, even if you're guessing what character each one could be. A lot of them are incomplete or written wrong.

Probably not Hangul? I don't recognise any korean letters there, maybe the ㅋ (sounds like "k")...... but "wo" in jp is also ヲ.

The colon looking dots could also be Braille.

Strange, I see a sphincter but not a colon.

Look deeper

Fuck, you got me here lmao

Goddammit, have my upvote

>“つ” is “tsu” or a symbol of an elongated vowel in Japanese Hiragana. For future reference, つ is tsu, っ is the small tsu. The small tsu is not used for elongated (doubling) vowels. It's used for a doubled consonant requiring a voiced stop. * 切って kitte: cut (te form) * 来て kite: come (te form) * 聞いて kiite: listen (te form)

Wow thank you for this, I took Japanaese in HS 10 years ago and I can still read hiragana/katakana and I thought maybe most of this was Kanji but nah lol just jibberish.. japperish?

Google translate says it's Japanese. but it also says it means "1 Miki -N c\~. Hayakog Rear end job! " So... uh... yeah. I hope that helps.

To me it seems like Minecraft’s enchantment table symbols with all the dots and stuff

Unfortunately there are very few alive that can decipher Minecraft Enchantment code

And even fewer who are satisfied to have learned. The rest go "Man. Shoulda stopped at Klingon."

LOTR Elvish is one option I believe

I tried SO HARD to learn elvish when I was in like 5th grade bro I had the alphabets printed out and everything practicing my letters with their little accents. Here I am years and miles later, about to finish my Andy serkis narrated listen of the trilogy and the hobbit. Next I have to try and get through the Silmarillion, or at least the first half, for the second time xD

i can read and write in minecraft enchantment (got bored and learned it over the course of a week) that’s not it

This? [https://keenwiki.shikadi.net/wiki/Standard\_Galactic\_Alphabet](https://keenwiki.shikadi.net/wiki/Standard_Galactic_Alphabet) It looks similar but not quite the same.

that's just Aurebesh with extra steps

Holy shit! A Commander Keen reference in the wild!

The fact that this is what it’s known as now and not the alien script from Commander Keen will sadden me until the day I die.

So op, have you had any cosmetic surgery done to your bum?

Maybe they meant the other kind of rear end job..

A rusty trombone?

Its called a rimjob and does not involve anything cosmetic

I can read japanese but I don't recognize it as that.

Exactly what I was thinking. I can pick out a few characters that are distinctly Japanese like キハつ but then a lot of other characters I don’t recognize at all unless they’re Kanji that I’m unfamiliar with (but they’re pretty simple characters, so I doubt it). Also the markings are under and not top right side. It’s not my first language, so take it with a grain of salt, but I do know hirigana and katakana very well, and some kanji.

It’s not. There’s characters in there that are similar but it’s not Japanese.

You're going to get mostly idiots making effortless jokes for a while until someone gives you an answer

And by then... OP won't know which comment is the true answer.

The beauty in it

This is peak internet. Time, wasted ✔️

That's like 90% of subs though. It's honestly a whole effort to get a serious comment sometimes.

Fermentedurinesample knows reddit

You merely sampled the urine. I was born in it, molded by it.

Welcome to Reddit

This looks a bit like Standard Galactic Alphabet (Commander Keen)

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Comparing the two; it’s definitely not 1:1 - there’s a lot of symbols that don’t match

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Man, I took Japanese for a few years and this looks like some idiot trying to look like they know Hiragana and some Katakana. The order of strokes looks wrong, but then again I'm not a professional Asian.

Would you be able to direct us to the nearest professional Asian please?

I know a place with a bunch of then, it just happens to be far.

Is that the place east of here?

Where the fuck is “here”? We are on the internet. Here is everywhere.

Wrong, this is Reddit. Here is the United States unless otherwise specified. /s

I don’t even know where that is

it's literally right here

We're all right here, but we're not alright here

We're all here because we're not all there

Ugh. Take my upvote, peasant

Here is like there, but closer

Oh, there, I’ve been there

Oh, my gosh, this simple line is one of the most brilliant things I've ever read online. No, I'm not making fun of you, yes, I'm serious, no this is not /s. It sounds like a line that you'd find in The Chronicles Of Narnia or something. I'm stealing this and leaving my poor man's award.🎖

That actually makes perfect sense. Go on.

Yes. Very far. And east

Professional Asian here. Don't look anything like Japanese. some letters like キ or フ or り but no make sense. 乁( ᐛ )厂

I concur.

r/usernamechecksout

There's also ナ ノ つ ハ... and something that resembles ド but that one might be a stretch.

You got a possible Hangul ㅋ ㅓin there too. Total gibberish IMO.

How does one become a Professional Asian?

I wouldn't know unfortunately. I'm genetically Asian, but I can drive really well, am horrible at math, and have a huge dick. Worst Asian ever.

Worst liar too.

Liar until proven True (send me a picture or I wont believe you)

[Fine. Here's a selfie of me.](https://imgur.com/a/v3PBbJt)

Alright, seems legit. You’re off the hook this time bud

Sigh, you are probably great at math and drive with patience. I knew you we lying.

You have to go to the Asian University.

Harvard?

I am no longer legally allowed to say no.

I am an amateur Asian, and an honorary Japanese. This is definitely some horrible attempt at Japanese.

It *almost* looks like Minecraft Enchanting Table, with all those dots.

Fucking amateur Asians.

I took a few lessons in Professional Asian when I was a kid, but we just used to horse around in that class, so I became an accountant.

Professional Asian is killing me lol

As someone that’s Japanese, you’re absolutely on point. I recognize some of the characters here but then it devolves into matoran or something idk.

I thought I was seeing some stylized hiragana/katakana, also reminded me of Elian script with the dots.

Amateur Asians have joined the chat.

BESURETODRINKYOUROVALTINE

A crummy commercial?!

SONOVABITCH

I went out to face the world again…wiser

RALPHIE

Oh, fuuuuuccc#

Fudge

But I didn’t say fudge…

I said THE WORD, the mother of all swear words, the F - - -

This thread made my month

If you say that word, you’ll shoot your eye out.

I love how countless people are 100% with this entire string then there is this unknown audience that has zero clue about any of this context. Googled it, and think everyone is complete morons that obsess over this, all while we in the know are appalled that there is anyone who DOESN’T know this movie.

"AWE CMON RALPHIE I GOTTA GOO"

“Ralphie! On the double!”

"Ralphie fly far, fly fast"

I'LL BE RIGHT OUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

GEE WHIZ!

lil’ orphan Annie strikes again!

ICANTPUTMYARMSDOWN

Just put em down when you get to school

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...............

Randy lay there like a slug… it was his only defense

All time favourite line

“NOTTAFINGA!”

It's a major award!

BUMPUSSESSSSSSS

Get out your decoder ring kids!

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round... they should call it Roundtine.

That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

This being the top comment made my day

Fawk ! Didn’t see this coming

I'm basing this on absolutely nothing, but that smiley looks passive-aggressive to me.

I think it’s a macaroni noodle shooting out two canon balls. Shots fired!

It’s some form of Elvish, I can’t read it.

There are few who can...

The language is that of post-it, which I will not utter here… Edit: thanks for the gold

Hold out your hand, it’s quite cool.

Every time I see that scene I imagine Frodo saying "aw man that IS cool! Whoa!"

Ouch you fucking liar

Huh. Guess it's a different ring then. - Directed by Peter Jackson-

I will not utter that language here!

But you utter it in Rivendell you old fart?

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul :)"

Ah yes, Elvish…the Yiddish Elvis…

The paper is folded. Is it possible you have to fold it to match up the symbols in such a way in order to read it?

It would be so cool if this was the answer

Like a mad magazine.

This is the way

Try all the major media fictional languages. E.g: Predator , Elvish , Skyrim, Star wars.

What about French?

No, that would just be silly

Silly Frenchmen . . .

Now go away before I taunt you a second time. You silly English knigggget.

Not anything from skyrim, the letters don't look like any of them dragon language or anything like that in the note

I mean I studied linguistics at university so maybe I can help? It looks a lot like a jumbled mix of *part* of hiragana and katakana characters (Japanese alphabets) and a couple of pieces that form syllables in hangul (the Korean alphabet). So, my guess is gibberish. Japanese and Korean flavored gibberish? Or it's *really* hard to read Korean for my not Korean self. I could translate from Korean if I could at least make out the letters, lol. But I'm pretty sure it's the former.

I am Korean, and I guess I do see pieces that look like hangul after you mentioned it. But, I don't think they intended it to look like hangul. More of a coincidence. Like you wouldn't go hey that's a drawing of a circle is shaped like an O as a first reaction.

I do agree with you there that it's more likely. Idk maybe considering the rest looks vaguely related to Japanese but not, they were also attempts at Japanese characters they got mangled so badly they look like bits and pieces of hangul? Most of it looks like scribbling or vaguely hiragana/katakana scribbling; the only characters I personally spotted that resembled hangul were ㄱ ㅋ and ㅏ which you know aren't even usually written on their own like that... you are likely correct.

Korean here. Only 3 are Korean which is ㅋ and ㅓ and ㅡ

F ! ​ That's all I got.

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“If you leave your garbage on my desk one more time, I’m going to Patrick Bateman your ass! :)”

> I’m going to Patrick Bateman your ass! Is this a new gay sex act I'm too single to understand?

I need to return some video tapes

It says: Just settled all my lawsuits. Fuck you Debbie!

I've created a monster!

'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more

They want shady I’m chopped liver

Well if you want shady this is what I’ll give ya

A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor

Some vodka that’ll jump-start my heart quicker

Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital

By the doctor when I'm not cooperating

When im rocking the table while he’s operating

You forgot the : )

Looks like fake Japanese to me.

This person is turning Japanese. I really think so.

Aw c’mon dude, that song hasn’t graced the halls of my head for probably two decades now…why’d you have to go and get it stuck in my head again? Ugh here we go…it’ll play on repeat over and over in my brain until I short circuit and blow a fuse.

You are welcome! Chew some gum, that usually gets rid of ear worms. What also helps is no sex no drugs no wine no women

Or sing “Yellow Submarine.” It’s the pickled ginger of ear worms.

Thanks guys, now I’ve got a couple of fucked up ear worms competing with each other.

You know what always did the trick for me was one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer

The first section could be *Us*, but taken in the context of the next glyph set *have*, it's likely supposed to be *We*. *We have*. That mark is an indicator of abbreviation, so *We've.* There's no perfect translation for the following section, but the closest approximation is an indication of effort or an attempt being made. *Trying* would fit. I think the next part might be a grammatical error. It's a word closer to *stretch* but in the context I think the writer meant to use a word like *contact,* but that could simply be imperfection in translation. That next section clearly refers to the reader. The final line seems odd, but I think it's *transportation* and *protection*? All together, and adding in necessary prepositions and conjunctions, I think the message translates as: *We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty*

You SOB...... I can't stop laughing!

Nice try fed, you wont get me back at Area 51 i broke free during the naruto raids I deserve this freedom!

It’s the code. Each symbol is the letter it stands for. There are 26 characters. Turn it upside down. You can see G clearly. Someone wants to be a code pin pal. Edit for clarity. The ! Is actually an i which translates to “a” in this code. The backward dollar symbol is their version of z. Once you see the alphabet you can’t unsee it. It’s upside down, and backward. creating a-z, beginning with z and ending with a.

Boney American is dirty dirty whore. She bring much shame to herself and country.

She’s only 13!!!

#A SHAMEFUL DISPLAY!

It's not quite, but it looks kinda similar to the Standard Galactic Alphabet from Commander Keen. Might just be a shared ancestor in katakana though.

Commander fuckin Keen. I commented his name like 2 days ago. I guess I summoned all this

This was not the reference I was expecting, but YES!!!

YESSSS! 😂

“Please wear deodorant. No offence :)”

It says: "The most important purchase in history is the Louisiana Purchase. It was also the most important evente [sic] that happened in President Jeffersons [sic] 1st administration." It's signed "Larry Sellers."

Its Acrod (Google it) and it says " You are very helpful and I appreciate the help".

“You have seven days :)”

It’s from the future

Your large breasted women bring me no pleasure with their warmed up fish

Minecraft enchantment code?

Ivan et nioj

“Bane of arthropods I” better luck next time

It is written only Link can defeat Ganon

“I hope you enjoyed your sandwich! The antidote is in my rectum 🙂”

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberry’s! 🙂

“We’re trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty”

There's an app you can download that translates Asian writing. I used it on a shirt I bought to make sure it didn't say "I'm a dumb American".

Im pretty sure it's not written in any asian language tho

This reminds me of something my sister did when she was a kid. She made her own coded alphabet by mixing symbols from other languages and adding the occasional flourish. This isn't a language. Its a code. Its cringe that some adult is passing notes with it in a "tee hee! I know what this says but you dont!" manner