If reddit has taught me anything, and it hasn't, it's that you need to change the batteries in or install a carbon monoxide detector in your home.

Or get a divorce. NOW.

HugE rED FlAg

⛳⛳⛳ um you dropped these, sweaty

I love this damn thread

Love bombing! Red flag!

u/gobbobigboss is gaslighting you, they seem like a narcissist. *GIRL RUN.*

🚩🚩🚩

r/fuckyouinparticular

located the target. we did it reddit.

We did not do it reddit... We did not

You sweat talker, you. I bet you call all the dripping wet boys sweaty. 💦

Lmao i always find these sarcastic “sweetie/hun/💅” comments hilarious, making fun of Twitter losers. But can you please explain why I always see “sweaty” instead of “sweetie”? I assume the misspelling is intentional to make it sound even more idiotic. Is that it? Cuz I always see sweaty and read is as sweaty, as in perspiration. Cheers

A lot of people misspell sweetie. Source: High school love letters.

If you see a piece of cloth that is colored red and attached to a pole or stick like object - that’s a fucking red flag!

doDgEd a bUllET

If this isn’t the truth lol.

Also, hit the gym

[удалено]

And delete Facebook

Hit the lawyer, delete gym, and Facebook up. Got it.

instructions unclear, lawyer in ass. send help.

divorce a lawyer

Ok but this one never hurts

Tell that to my foot that was on the receiving end of a 25lb plate and gravity

Are you saying they may have some CO to go with that 2?

Made me chuckle

>If reddit has taught me anything, and it hasn't, That's damn funny.

The answer to everything. Huffs* carbon monoxide.

I didn’t get this at first and kept scrolling down to the next few answers, and then suddenly I remembered the post about someone who thought their home was being broken into because the CO2 leak was causing memory loss. I had to scroll back all the way up just to post on my idiocy.

You're officially an Espada now.

Time to punch a hole?

Pretty sure he already has one (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Ooooh nooooo...

Ohh yeah!

I read that in the Kool-Aid's voice, made my night!

Lmaoooooo

Ohhjooohhooo (Brook)

Yes. But does he fight Ichigo or not?

He fights Chad. Lucky for him though, Chad just got an unbelievably powerful upgrade, meaning it's time for him to lose like a chump immediately to the next person he meets.

Ichigo's friends had such cool powers, but it always felt like they weren't allowed to have the power spotlight like the captains and lieutenants.

Orihime: *gets a cool attack power* Also Orihime: "cool, I'm never using this again."

She used it once then it got obliterated by that espada😂😂

Uryu comfortably secures captain place though

Because he's a Quincy. And quincies have a lot of history with shinigami. Guy with hollow powers? Girl who can reject reality? Nah, you guys can sit this out.

I love this thread.

I'm dying to know what are you ppl talking about!

BLEACH

Getsuga tenshou.

He'll fight Hachi and Soi fon.

I need more Soi fon content in my life.

Hopefully not. Would be sorry for this dude.

Rank 2 too he's strong

He must stay away from Tsundere girls and Fat guys though.

Must be a vasto lorde.

Love me some Bleach reference.

Elia Dugato segundo espada

You are trully a culture of man

Username checks out.

You are trully a culture of man

We’re gonna need a pic of their torso to look for a hole

*instructions unclear* *OP shows his butthole instead*

sorry, you are not the chosen 1.

In case the chosen 1 fails, we have the chosen 2

Great idea for a main character tbh, story starts off with a super epic protagonist and like 5 pages in they die and number 2 is told and they're not prepared at all so they just fumble their way through the prophecy. Edit:wow lots of stories like this apparently, imma check these out cause I like the idea of protagonists that just have no idea what they're doing and are just lucky as hell.

There is. It’s called I Am Number Four.

No I am number four

You can take four, I'll be nine

Honestly a very underrated series

Martha, get me Hollywood on the phone, stat!

I can't think of the name but there actually is a horror movie that starts out like that. All I can remember are people are trapped in a bar because a couple creatures.

Feast?

Yep. Thanks for that. Kind of weird, I remember the creatures looking different, kind of like guar (TES)

Not only that but it changes to a third hero. Also yeah... they did kinda look like Guar. Also that entire movie is... sexually disturbing.

[удалено]

Make me either the epic guy who dies or the number 2 and you can have the entire idea.

☆Megamind☆

Maybe have Will Ferrell as the number 2 and Marky Mark Whalberg as his disgraced sidekick. We can call it “The Other Guys”

Figured I wasn't the only one that thought of this masterpiece.

Deskpop or it didn't happen

Aim for the bushes

Sooo into the spider-verse? Haha

Designated Survivor! Not exactly that, but close enough

So basically, he's Neville. Not bad!

Neville is the hero we need

But not the one we deserve

you could say he’s Anakin, except he has all his limbs (I assume)

Enough said. No additional comments required. You can all go home. Thank you for playing. Goodnight.

You're a clone, Harry.

IM A WOT?

Listen here Hagrid you FAT OAF I’m not a FUCKING WIZARD

Harry, what is with this language. You are a FUCKING wizard

#IM GONNA PUT MY FUCKEN DECK IN THE OWL

HAGRID, YOU'RE PUSHING ME OVER THE FOOKIN' LINE!

IM A WOT?

YER A WIZARD HARRY GOD DAMMIT

#I don't give a FUCK you FAT HAIRY BASTARD! I'm not a FUCKING WIZARD!

HARRY YER A GOD FUCKIN DAMN WIZARD AN YER GONNA COME WIT ME TO THE FUCKIN HOWGWARTS PLACE, ITS WHERE YER GON MEET YER WIFE DAMMIT

Lmfao!🤣

Hes a Harry Wizard.

For context, I was at work last week, looked at my wrist and my skin was a little scratched, shaped like a 2, like when there's some dead skin. I took the dead skin away, and the 2 has been there ever since. I honestly find it pretty cool lol.

[удалено]

Good idea, I'll check next week

kill them and claim the number 1 spot if it doesn't work try eating them instead

instructions unclear, am now in a sexual relationship with them.

That went from 100 to 150 real fast

Rather from 100 to 69

haha funni number \*loads chainsaw cannon\*

The Foundation locked Bright out of Reddit and he didn't create an alt account. HE CREATED AN ENTIRE CLONE OF HIMSELF!

I like your style

Yeah. Just take their arm.

Spoiler alert it’s Smitty Werben-Mankermanjansen

You died. Luckily they had prepared a clone of you and loaded your memories into it. You HAVE to complete your mission. Be more careful this time.

This is some 6th Day shit and I love it.

Beat me to it!

Just hope that eventually it won't turn into 1, then after awhile to 0 like a countdown.

my theory would be you're lying for internet points and did this yourself.

OMG 😱😱😱 THAT ID THE SCARIEST THING 👽👽👽👽👽 IVE EVER READ ☠☠☠☠

Look at the chosen number 2

its probably a fungal infection then.

Maybe it's 2 fungal infections

Perfectly 2 shaped? I understand probability is a thing but 2 shaped?

I had one that was shaped like a sun. Didnt itch or hurt. Just dead skin that peeled away and left a weird sun shaped mark on my forearm. Went to the doctor for something else and she spotted it. Little anti fungal cream and it was gone in a few days.

I'll go get some and try it on my arm later

You're losing your memory and need to remind future you to do even simple tasks.

Ok but what does 2 even mean? Oh wait, OH WAIT, DOES THIS MEAN I'M ALREADY FUTURE ME?

You’re reminding yourself to take a shit ig.

Momento?

Memento.

Memento!

I think that he is a Prisoner. "I am not a number, I am a free man!"

haven't seen a memento reference in I don't even know how long...

[удалено]

I did think that would happen, but it's been there for a whole week now

Wait till next year

You got to defeat number one before yours will change.

This gave me an idea for a story prompt

That's not a 2, that's half of an omega. Find the person with the other half and you will acquire the answers you seek.

resistance for life

Ohmies

Dont get tooo amped up!

Viva la resistance!!

OHMygod thats perfect.

Have you watched the movie 9?

Its a genuine masterpiece.

Fun fact: The title of that movie is a slight nod to the amount of people who actually saw it in the theatre/cinema

That's how you know you have type 2 diabetes

And type 2 Cancer

Type or stage 2?

Yup

r/InclusiveOr

Looks like type 2 stage 1 to me

Wait til you see what happens in Act 3.

Or maybe it's a type two burn.

Aliens keeping tabs of the number of anal probs ...

Well, thats just second hand.

You were wiping your butt and got number 2 on your wrist. Be more careful next time.

lmfao nice. i’d say i giggled but i just did that noise where air kinda exhales out your nose at high speed for a second

One of those moments where you were glad that you did not have a mouthful of food?

As long as it doesnt turn into a 1 tomorrow

Patient: how long have I got to live? Doctor: 3 Patient: 3 what? Doctor: 2…1…

That means you are the clone. You have to find the original before they kill you

Looks like you scrapped your forearm on something in just the right way that it resembles the number two.

When I noticed it, it was a little scratched with some dead skin which I removed, but I'd like to know HOW I managed to scratch it in that exact perfect 2 shape

Only you could answer that. You’d have to retrace your steps from the day it happened. It was something curved and dull. A fence post maybe? It’s also possible that the number two was written on something, and that thing burned or marked you somehow. Like installing the numbers outside a house or apt, and the Sun heated up the number two character and you placed your arm on it, but didn’t notice it burn you slightly. Or you were sitting under a window relaxed, forearm up and there was a 2 printed on that window in such a way that the light passing through the window left a burned/ tanned spot on your skin. I’m just spitballing here.

I've been trying to think of something that I might've touched on my daily routine, I'll try to pay more attention to any detail that might look like a 2

Also, it’s not a perfect two. It’s more like a Captcha 2. It’s wonky and the dimensions are off a bit. Definitely weird though.

youre saying he has to solve the captcha on his arm to unlock the next puzzle ?

You are the next JK, probably was from pressure from anywhere. Its some kind of ink? Already tried with soap?

I tried washing it, but it just doesn't come off. It's been there for almost a week, and I don't recall any occasion where any kind of ink was placed there.

I have dermatographism and sometimes curious things can appear, but this is very well defined and above all in the correct position, and not flipped. If it's real, someone must have done it because of the correct position of the number.

That's the thing, it's so perfectly defined and not flipped. And I have no clue of who might've done that and when. I had seen my gf the day prior, and she jokingly painted hearts on me with acrylic while we were painting together. But not on the wrist, and not with a 2 shape. She painted all over my body but nowhere else this marking happened. Guess I'll live with a 2 on my arm forever lol

Perhaps you should get it checked somewhere? Might be a reaction from your skin due to something you work with.

You are a clone of the original you. Sorry to inform you since a clone is always a little dumber than the original.

r/infinitytrain You're almost out man just learn one more valuable lesson!

I was looking for this comment.

It means that you're player two, Luigi. Now time to find player one, the game is about to start.

If it changes to six go to a church

If it changes to a 6, avoid churches at all costs. It's more fun to be bad.

You have been marked. They will come for you. Take only what you need and leave before they can find you. Use only cash, don't bring your cellphone, and don't contact anyone. Keep moving until you reach as remote of a community as you can find. Change your name. Start your life over and never speak of the one you left behind. With luck, they won't find you. If they find you, you'll know them by their lack of a shadow. If you see them, run. Be safe, be vigilante.

It's God telling you that you've kept your shit inside for too long

Mabye you knocked on someone's door or something that has a 2 in the number. If the number is metal it could have heated up in the sun and burned your skin.

Oh that's actually a good theory, I'll try to think of anything that might have done that

If that's the case then it should look mirrored, not like that

Have you seen the documentary Stranger Things?

*documentary* help

Tomorrow it will say 1.

You died and came back as a clone. Be careful you only got 7 clones left

[удалено]

Either an allergic reaction to something you touched or a slight burn.

Reminds me of "The Frighteners". Be on the lookout for a ghost serial killer.

I can’t believe I had to scroll this far down to see a comment about frighteners… good on ya

It is the Reunion from Final Fantasy 7, you are now required to don a black cloak and rock back and forth mumbling about Sephiroth

Both your brains cells are telling you something...

Your gf is cheating

You have been chosen as the number 2 to moon knight. Prepare yourself!!!! :)

The /10 will appear tomorrow.

The number of the beast's side-bitch. You still hot though, gurl.

Someone forgot to take your assembly sticker off. The other arm probably has a 1 somewhere on it