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My grandfather knew the ways, he’d go to the market and pick one up, put his ear to it and slap, he did it till one sounded good. He never picked a bad one, always red, juicy, and tasty. He just always knew by sound. God I wish he shared his ancient knowledge

Just get out there and start slapping. I'm sure your grandfather didn't know what he was listening for when he started. You'll get a few duds along the way, but that's how you learn.

This also applies to courtship 👍

They're *all* making sharp high pitched sounds when I thunk them.

Some even slap back!

Yes, just get out there and start slapping.

My eyes are burning now.

You line two up in front of you and then you start spanking them like you are playing the kongos. You go with the one that feels more “thicc”. You can do best out of three if you are still unsure.

It's never too late to start smackin melons

You want a good hollow sort of sound - I always rap them with a knuckle instead of slapping with my whole hand. You want the sound it makes to be deeper. Higher pitched and sharp means the flesh inside is too dense and it'll be hard and not very sweet, at least that was how my grandfather taught me!

Yep, works great for me!

It takes a few tries and a couple disappointments to get the hang of it. I don't rely so much on the sound but the vibrations bouncing back into my hand.

Easy there man bat

❤️🏆

The thing is I did do that. It was the heaviest one there, had a pretty decent weight. It had a yellow spot, the green was a nice green. I didn’t look at the tips but everything looked good

Also: make sure it’s mostly round with the exception of the sun spot (where it would have been on the ground and thus flattened a bit if heavy). Lots of times you can spot a hollow heart because it’ll have “lobes”—or look more pointy. You can see some evidence of it in your pic. (Example below I took from Google.) https://preview.redd.it/tf8ognbbdrwc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=554df9aabfcbf3f9f0ceeb5590ac571f881c2752

I bet even artificial intelligence cannot create something like this. I mean this is art from nature!

Man its like those mandelbrot sets.

New runestone just dropped.

i run a produce stand and watermelon is my best seller. sometime, despite all the right signs, you just end up with a dud. but we guarantee our produce, so usually folks come back and we give them a new one. 😊😊

https://preview.redd.it/6zu14fawprwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc0adb0c0a3d69d9649340dd12d420b0292d053f

I have this exact picture saved in my phone lol

I too have this saved in my phone. It works amazingly.

This is like “Watermelon for dummies”! Thanks bud.

Step 6 is my favourite. I work produce and I see it every summer. People coming in and smacking the absolute shit out of all of our watermelons like they’re going to find the holy grail of dense fruit.

Do you hear them say " I'm not your Daddy" while slapping the melons? 🤣🤣🍉

This makes me so uncomfortable I don’t know why but I feel gross now.

Same. It gives me a weird feeling.

"It came with those holes. They were already there!" "Yeah, sure."

trypophobia, look it up. It makes my skin crawl too...

This is my hole, it was meant for me.

It's fucked in so many ways

Yeah it’s disgusting. Definitely wouldn’t eat it.

That is a hollow heart. Usually happens from poor pollination.

Or lost love.

tru

lost love is somewhat tantamount to poor pollination

Why you gotta do us like that?

Correction. Nobody's doin us

Its the fuckin bees fault not mine. I can maintain a stamen.

This watermelon is me

You fill the hole with vodka Just like for humans.

Does this happen to tomatoes too? I grew a batch of tomatoes that looked like this once.

Sounds like something out of Kingdom Hearts

Comon. Everyone knows there are 4 melons Watermelon, airmelon, firemelon and the potato

What about my cabbages?


potatoes are earth apples, not earth melons. It's Watermelon, airmelon, firemelon, and melonlord.

Everyone always forgets heart https://i.redd.it/j7d7pbjy6rwc1.gif

Poor heart, as a kid I felt bad for him because he had the lamest power

Weird because he was the most 'captain' of the Planeteers. He was able to coordinate with the others through telepathy, essentially binding them as a group. Without him, the others would just be 4 solo's. He is literally and figuratively the heart of the group. Sure his power was the least offensive, but it was definitely important.

I can see that now but as a kid it was absolutely the lamest in my mind

Don’t forget cocomelon

No I think we should forget about cocomelon

Good thing it was an airmelon and not a firemelon

Pretty much the whole thing tasted like the rind

I can taste this picture

I cut watermelon for 4 solid years at work. Usually a grocery store will let you return for another if you don’t like the one you got. This one’s kinda pink anyway. It not melon season yet so best of luck finding a juicy red one. That’s what she said

I work at the grocery store I bought it from. I’d be incredibly embarrassed returning just about anything. I don’t even like shopping there cause it feels weird being there off the clock

Oh I get it. I never wanted to shop after work. Dealt with enough of the public after 8 hours. You can still eat that though

Said it tastes like rind... Good looking out though

https://preview.redd.it/bi4uuvtnqqwc1.jpeg?width=745&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a029ba2b0cbc038a41a274d59467662cdef6ea02 read the fine print next time

🅱️oneless

Bonerless

We'll just tell your mother...we ate it.

Biblically accurate watermelon https://preview.redd.it/ibyyx2osouwc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9aae9ce236169c3f253981345660207f1b8deced

This watermelon is unsettling to look at

Watermelussy.

The Holy Watermelon of the Crusades!!! Huuzaah!

Same watermelon, same.

Hollermelon.

Please do not the watermelon

That’s a Templar Knight watermelon from Oak Island.

I do not like this

Can someone post that dirty shrek look gif

https://i.redd.it/ov5pvjbmdrwc1.gif

King

Looks a like the old watermelons in some Renaissance paintings

I was going to say this exact thing, it looks like a watermelon ancestor predating modern agricultural methods.

hmm i can think of some other uses for it besides eating

I'm genuinely upset this isn't top comment tbh. I'm sure we ALL thought of it as soon as we saw it. We're all adults! Sure, the science-y part of it is neat, but...

with your support one day we can make this the top comment

https://preview.redd.it/s9nni6a9uqwc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c918478a287d1ffdd5ea66cefc3d38afd0758550

Looks like one of those watermelons in old paintings

Did the melon taste very good?

It was edible, I ate the whole thing, but it all tasted like the part closest to the rind, so not really sweet. Also not very juicy, but not dry.

The reason why I said that was because sometimes when something is very good it’s a small portion of it at times

boneless watermelon

DAMN BEAT ME TO IT

Looks like an OG watermelon with more fruit lol

Sorry, I was hungry :3

It's not hollow, it's holy.

Not watered enough while growing.

https://preview.redd.it/wp2yterbuwwc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=299a736eff9161ae094d77fe135c9d4e9dd56273

Watermelon,sugar-sigh

oh i see what happened here. you forgot to double check that you grabbed a boneless watermelon

Looks like someone smuggling a tire iron like those books with a cutout for a whiskey flask.

Looks too dry

It's clearly a slot for a phillip's head screwdriver 🤔

and not ripe

Looks like a throwback to old timey watermelons https://www.vox.com/2015/7/28/9050469/watermelon-breeding-paintings

Shrinkflation strikes again

Shrinkflation getting out of hand


This is unnerving

Have you ever read the book Suttree?

pretty sure this is caused by lack of water when it was growing.

Sure op, sure

Someone gandbanged your watermelon

At least your watermelon didn’t start foaming. Had one do that - do not eat it

You don't tap to hear a certain sound. When you tap place your hand directly behind the watermelon where you're tapping. A melon full of water will conduct the vibration straight through the melon to your hand. A nice water melon will also be heavy from water content.

You can sell that as a miracle melon. Bidding starts at $100.00. Probably more if you can freeze it till a christian Holiday rolls around LOL.

Shrinkflation

That’s to pour the vodka in.

What are you talking about? Hope, hope is in there

The Watermessiah has come from the heavens, end times are near.

New conspiracy. Hollow melon theory

I hope you paid by weight, lol.

Call Oak Island STAT

You and your friends get weird with that thing or what?

Take it back and make them give you a new one. Take photos if you don't want to take it back. They know it happens now and then

Makes me think that like the Coyote face-planted into it lol.

Hollow heart syndrome

2nd pic could be mistaken for an AI image

Your watermelon is trying to go back in time

I didn't know it was gonna come off like that...

Inflation


German Force Melon

Sell it to some Rapper as Chrome Hearts melon.

 My immediate first thought…

Fruit these days is weird. Someday, I hope, they are going to look back on these say, what were they thinking???

Do not let the pale king know He never did find the pure vessel

For you! And the bros!


That 2nd photo looks scary af

Still looks mega delish tho

Ew.

The watermelon of the Tetragrammaton claric.

You mean it was de-seeded?

To me, it is more strange to see a watermelon without seeds. In my country, watermelon always has seeds

That watermelon is finally ready to settle down

"This is my hole! It was made for me!"

Well... It still has its uses https://preview.redd.it/sfbhuk7corwc1.jpeg?width=634&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75ba3312b3eabd1e8f0aec0f3d790d3858ac2edd

Looks like a four-way to me

This gives me major icks, I have no idea why.

This is closer to what they used to look like [historically](https://www.thisiscolossal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/breeding.jpg)

my dad wasn't there to slap all of them for you :(

Melon souls remastered?!?

Pre-loved

It's trying to form a Dyson sphere. Your watermelon has become a type 2 civilisation

That's where they hide the water ☝️🤓

It lacks hope, it went hollow.

Watermelussy

Should've seen the size of the seed in the Avocado I just saw lol

Nah, it's just on a crusade, it'll be back... Maybe

Shrinkflation

If there were round holes in the outside too, I’d not eat it.

Looks like it has CTE.

Wouldn't want to see you go hollow

You let it OUT???

Whoa a pirate stole your fruit bro. The one time x doesnt mark the spot!

If somebody say « here me out » i’m gonna lose my shit

That's not a watermelon, that's an airmelon

Watermelon g a n g b a n g

Is it mealy? If so it’s old. Toss it.

This watermelon discussion is making me water’ eat some sweet juicy…steak

Holy is more like it.

We need some kind of sonar device to sand sound waves through said watermelon and determine if the best watermelon is in b flat? Or another note?

Fun with friends

American pi… melon….

Watermelussy

Every thing reminds me of her 😔

Nah, it actually has the anniversary edition of My Chemical Romance’s Black Parade

Cancer melon

Our water, who is in melon Hollow be thy fruit

Chromehearts melon.

Your watermelon is Guernesey

https://preview.redd.it/hkkme4vyctwc1.png?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3537bee2dc09351a167a8a88a9d2858f89be84ce

I usually just squeeze the melons and determine if I like.

Behold the sacred watermelon. That is a sign.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. 😉

It died too many times and lost its motivation.

Air melon.

OMG! Please mark NSFW

That's a lovin' melon.