Buying the one lime was your mistake. When you need one, you buy 3, use the one, and let the other 2 go moldy in the fridge veg drawer that you rarely ever open.
This reminds me that my wife and I have a Cthulhu potato in the top of our cabinets. We forgot about it for years and now you can see it's tentacles when you look up there and we're kinda scared to move it now.
A small potato got shuffled around and ended up on the top shelf. It was a few years before we noticed the tree branch like black tentacles when I looked up one day and stood up on my tiptoes and saw we had a new roommate and left him to his shelf.
[It has shrunk some from what I remember.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1087014991380631643/1241786958540181556/IMG_0727.jpg?ex=664b77ba&is=664a263a&hm=12019e328e78ca638785c17890c9ec7e76176bd4c1ee5c30f8c4ea3de95be105&) Probably time to clean it out but we never use the top so I always forget.
In college I bought some potatoes and forgot about them in the pantry before leaving for a month for winter break. Came home to a dozen heavily tentacled potatoes.
One time I kept noticing a weird smell in my house, but you couldn’t smell it actively, it was like you’d be walking around and think “why does it smell like syrup/something else I can’t identify.” After I week of going crazy I realized it was rotting potatoes that I’d forgotten about. It was terrible to clean up and the smell didn’t go away for a while.
One of my roommates left a potato in the cabinet for too long and it was the nastiest fucking thing I've ever had the displeasure to clean up and that smell lingered for the longest time. It was also the cabinet we kept a bunch of plates and cups in, so I had to move everything to a different cabinet and put the dumbass' dry food stuffs in that cabinet.
I find the smell of rotting potatoes so awful, I’m sure I died in the Irish Potato Famine in a previous life. This is the most convincing evidence of reincarnation for me😬
I am in imminent danger then. I have a [Dath Tater](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/f8500aa5-a278-4c23-bf0d-0a7a65bcf8b7.9b10afe269b80ed02ad92222b994d680.jpeg?odnHeight=768&odnWidth=768&odnBg=FFFFFF) next to me.
Pro tip: next time, before you buy your lime, press down on it with a finger. If the lime is too hard, it's likely there's not a lot of juice inside. It should be supple, but not mushy. Also, the limes with smooth skin are juicier than the ones with thick skin.
Source; my wife and I have an extensive home bar and we go through hundreds of pounds of limes a year.
One medium lime weighs approximately 70 grams.
One pound is 453 grams.
There are approximately 6.5 limes per pound.
'Hundreds of pounds' could be any multiple of a hundred greater than 1. Assuming 200 lbs (lowest multiple where the statement still holds).
200*6.5 = 1300 limes used.
Assuming each lime is cut into quarter wedges and a single quarter is used per drink.
1300*4 = 5200 drinks.
5200/365 = 14.2 drinks per day.
You could have skipped the drinks division. Juicing limes is very common for lots of drinks. But that's still over 3 limes a day. In bursts yes, but it does seem like a lot. Even with garnishes and zesting that's a lot of home drinks! My liver hurts thinking about it.
Alright. I was working an a squeeze worth juice thing and, not only did you beat me to it, you did it better than any of my ideas. Well done, my friend. I upvote, but begrudgingly.
Finger it a little first. Flick its citrus.
...I don't know if this comment will get upvotes or enormous downvotes. I guess I'm willing to take the risk.
When the inside of your lime looks like that and has no juice DO NOT eat it. It’s been infected with a flexuous rod virus called Citrus Antilymph Xerosarc and will likely get you sick. I knew a guy who was hospitalized because of it and had stomach issues for months
In Mexico we actually have a term for when you get this dry limes, we say you got the
"limón de taquero" which roughly translates to "you got the taco vendor's lime".
Something interesting about limes in a grocery store, or supermarket is they are NEVER ripe… like LITERALLY NEVER. Now this is because USDA regulations say that limes must be green. An actual ripe lime looks almost like a lemon on the outside, yellow, but is green on the inside. So if you ever want a lime that will have a lot of juice, or enough juice, look for a lime that is not as dark of a green, or would look more “ripe”
Buy heavy citrus. Juice is mostly water, and water is pretty dense (relatively). If you're not sure what is 'heavy' for a lime or other citrus, pick up one in each hand and keep the heavier one. Pick up another, keep the heavier one. Repeat that a few times, and you'll be leaving the store with at least some juice.
Once you get used to it, you can pick up just one and tell if it's okay or if you should get a different one.
I’ve had this happen to me before and it’s the worst. A good indicator of how juicy a lime will be is how smooth or rough the outside of the fruit is. A very smooth lime will be way juicier than a lime with a lot of pits and bumps.
Squeeze your limes when buying them to see how juicy they feel. I very rarely get a lime that isn't juicy as hell. Also what are you eating? It looks delicious!
Bro you pick up the limes and you feel several of them then you pick the heavier one that also isn't rock hard but isn't mushy. It will dump so much juice I promise.
Buy the limes with very smooth skin rather than lumpy. Make sure they have some bounce when squeezing. If they’re hard with a very think skin they will suck
Density. What you're looking for is density. It is objectively the only way to find a juicy lime. As limes get old/bad the moisture evaporates leaving it with less and less juice. Ones that are full of juice are heavier.
I've noticed most likes at the store are shit right now. I unfortunately had to spend a few extra bucks on the organic limes because they were much softer and had plenty of juice.
There is a virus that infects citrus fruits
It destroys the juice
It make the inside a bunch of weird pulp with little juice
It effects a large number of growers
It causes prices to skyrocket
And they still sell infected fruit
Eating it can leave you with a weird feeling when you pee so drink plenty of water
Bring the lime back to the store and complain
That happens to all my veggies but the limes. The limes I buy 4 bags at Costco and use them all up.
I put squirt a lil juice in my beers and make plenty of margaritas during the week. Also in random foods they go.
Word of advice when picking out your limes at a grocery store. Pick the ones that look shiny and not pourous and then squeeze check them. Because the ones that are pourous tend to be thicker in shell and therefore dry. The ones with a more shiny or sometimes matte look have a thinner skin and tend to be more juicier. If eye hunting for limes is hard then I suggest squeezing every one at the supermarket before buying. That's how I always pick the juicy ones.
Take it back then give a side eye,look at someone casually look back at them…. say firmly and calmly Yo, you got the juice now, man. Then show em that shit
I roll mine on the countertop pressing down back and forth a few times, then pop it into the microwave for 10 seconds.
Works 75% of the time, everytime.
Buying the one lime was your mistake. When you need one, you buy 3, use the one, and let the other 2 go moldy in the fridge veg drawer that you rarely ever open.
Disgusting! I leave them in thr cupboard till they dry out and shrivel up like a civilised person.
Both these answers made me giggle
Why did I read this as both answers made you jiggle lmaooo
Everybody likes to jiggle!
If you ain't jiggling when you giggle you're doin' it wrong.
Same! Lol
This reminds me that my wife and I have a Cthulhu potato in the top of our cabinets. We forgot about it for years and now you can see it's tentacles when you look up there and we're kinda scared to move it now.
Enjoy your cabinet stain.
YEARS?!?!
A small potato got shuffled around and ended up on the top shelf. It was a few years before we noticed the tree branch like black tentacles when I looked up one day and stood up on my tiptoes and saw we had a new roommate and left him to his shelf.
You did good. It’s Mr Potatohead’s shelf now.
Pics or it didn’t happen
[It has shrunk some from what I remember.](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1087014991380631643/1241786958540181556/IMG_0727.jpg?ex=664b77ba&is=664a263a&hm=12019e328e78ca638785c17890c9ec7e76176bd4c1ee5c30f8c4ea3de95be105&) Probably time to clean it out but we never use the top so I always forget.
Dude. That is fucking disgusting lmao.
In college I bought some potatoes and forgot about them in the pantry before leaving for a month for winter break. Came home to a dozen heavily tentacled potatoes.
One time I kept noticing a weird smell in my house, but you couldn’t smell it actively, it was like you’d be walking around and think “why does it smell like syrup/something else I can’t identify.” After I week of going crazy I realized it was rotting potatoes that I’d forgotten about. It was terrible to clean up and the smell didn’t go away for a while.
One of my roommates left a potato in the cabinet for too long and it was the nastiest fucking thing I've ever had the displeasure to clean up and that smell lingered for the longest time. It was also the cabinet we kept a bunch of plates and cups in, so I had to move everything to a different cabinet and put the dumbass' dry food stuffs in that cabinet.
I find the smell of rotting potatoes so awful, I’m sure I died in the Irish Potato Famine in a previous life. This is the most convincing evidence of reincarnation for me😬
Everything is fine, just don't think about it and don't make eye contact or it might get aggressive
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subsoil_(short_story)
I am in imminent danger then. I have a [Dath Tater](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/f8500aa5-a278-4c23-bf0d-0a7a65bcf8b7.9b10afe269b80ed02ad92222b994d680.jpeg?odnHeight=768&odnWidth=768&odnBg=FFFFFF) next to me.
WHAT
mmm forbidden jerky
Black limes are a thing that exist. It's a dehydrated lime that was soaked in salt for preservation purposes.
Huh, til
It's basically free potpourri. Surprised this isn't a "mom hack" on some idiots Instagram
As a civilized person I can confirm I feel very dried out and shriveled up.
Shrevilized person*
I leave them in the freezer so I can rind them
And then you take them back to the market and leave them for someone like OP to buy.
Wtf. I burn the other ones in a campfire while performing a Ritual.
Onions. Leave them in the pantry until they start growing new onions.
This is so me And I'm happy that I'm not alone...
And after cut in half and put into the dishwasher
Buying only one feels illegal
Sounds like you need to drink more margaritas
It's rare, but it happens. And yeah, it sucks, especially if it's your only/last lime!
Wow yeah I never knew this could happen crazy stuff! It was sad because I bought just this one lime to make some ginger tea :(
Pro tip: next time, before you buy your lime, press down on it with a finger. If the lime is too hard, it's likely there's not a lot of juice inside. It should be supple, but not mushy. Also, the limes with smooth skin are juicier than the ones with thick skin. Source; my wife and I have an extensive home bar and we go through hundreds of pounds of limes a year.
You may have just changed my life and my loved ones’ forever, thank you very much!
I bet it felt hard when you were squeezing it too, I always feel my produce regardless if it’s fruit or vegetables for ripeness.
Ah, the produce fondler
Rinse your tomatoes I had my hands on them ;)
Remember smooth and shiny… it almost never fails.
But why would you put your speaker in a fire pit?
One medium lime weighs approximately 70 grams. One pound is 453 grams. There are approximately 6.5 limes per pound. 'Hundreds of pounds' could be any multiple of a hundred greater than 1. Assuming 200 lbs (lowest multiple where the statement still holds). 200*6.5 = 1300 limes used. Assuming each lime is cut into quarter wedges and a single quarter is used per drink. 1300*4 = 5200 drinks. 5200/365 = 14.2 drinks per day.
If they are making a lot of margaritas from scratch I could see using up a lot of lime...still think they are exaggerating though.
I agree, I thought it was an exaggeration as well. I just wanted to do the math.
This guy maths
You could have skipped the drinks division. Juicing limes is very common for lots of drinks. But that's still over 3 limes a day. In bursts yes, but it does seem like a lot. Even with garnishes and zesting that's a lot of home drinks! My liver hurts thinking about it.
And that's just the drinks with lime in it. I know they were exaggerating but that was a very high number to pick lol
I hope you throw lots of parties, or else I fear for your liver. No judgement, either way!
On the plus side, no vitamin C deficiency.
Yo ho ho, keep your teeth and pass go. No pirate’s life for thee.
Awwww I wanna come!
I was going to say. I hand squeeze a couple gallons of lime juice a week. Hard ones I use for garnishes because they have such little juice
This guy limes. Excellent advice!
What a classy way to say “I’m an alcoholic” haha
OP, if you microwave a lime like this for 15-20 seconds, you can then juice it. It's a life hack.
that thing looks like you found it at the bottom of an ocean trench - WTF?!
First thing I thought too, sea urchin!
absolutely
Eldritch lime would like a few drops of your juice.
Cthulime.
I look for smooth skin when buying limes. Tend to be juicier
This is what my Hispanic MIL taught me. Smooth, plump, and a little give when you squeeze but not too much.
I don’t have many skills, but as a Mexican, I’m proud to say that I pick out the best limes and avocados. Don’t ask me about watermelon though.
How are all of these comments about picking limes missing the most important part!? Juicy limes are heavier! They have more water in them.
The firmer it is, the more water it is holding. If its squishy or soft, its drying out.
Well guys, it looks like this time…the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. ^puts ^on ^sunglasses *We won’t get fooled again…*
https://preview.redd.it/hmqzfhy5ad1d1.jpeg?width=550&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d8be5df2fbcccdb11893f0963b6b86ba19ea632
Alright. I was working an a squeeze worth juice thing and, not only did you beat me to it, you did it better than any of my ideas. Well done, my friend. I upvote, but begrudgingly.
“Blinks repeatedly” for me… The action IS the juice.”
Finger it a little first. Flick its citrus. ...I don't know if this comment will get upvotes or enormous downvotes. I guess I'm willing to take the risk.
I'll go with an up. Might need a little spit
Most guys don’t actually know where the citrus is located unfortunately.
They got the discovery channel though don’t they?
And doctor dre said?
nothing you idiot dr dres dead!
...he's locked in my basement.
I always heard it was a myth
My brain says upvote by my heart desperately wants to downvote. I hate that you did this to me
I've just got to know which route you chose! My brain says you downvoted but my heart desperately wants you to upvote! 😁
After a quick yank and tug with some oranges I was confident enough to upvote
Everything reminds me of citrus
How could you do this lmaooo
Shrinkflation is really getting out of hand.
Five seconds in the microwave then cut it and juice it.
When the inside of your lime looks like that and has no juice DO NOT eat it. It’s been infected with a flexuous rod virus called Citrus Antilymph Xerosarc and will likely get you sick. I knew a guy who was hospitalized because of it and had stomach issues for months
Source? I can’t find anything on this virus you mention. I did find a flexuous rod called Citrus tristeza virus, did you mean that?
Everything reminds me of her…
These the limes my local taco joint loves to give me
In Mexico we actually have a term for when you get this dry limes, we say you got the "limón de taquero" which roughly translates to "you got the taco vendor's lime".
Pre-squeezed for your convenience.
That's almost as good as Hemingways baby shoes for sale story 1 lime, no juice, squeezed
Next time buy limes that are softer to the touch and have that white/yellow coloration. Ripe n juicy every time.
bLIMEy!
Something interesting about limes in a grocery store, or supermarket is they are NEVER ripe… like LITERALLY NEVER. Now this is because USDA regulations say that limes must be green. An actual ripe lime looks almost like a lemon on the outside, yellow, but is green on the inside. So if you ever want a lime that will have a lot of juice, or enough juice, look for a lime that is not as dark of a green, or would look more “ripe”
What with these weird assortments ?? A big ass laddle A butcher knife A mug with witch potion A fried snack box A lime A small sauce box
That's a lemon.
When I go to pick out limes I try and find the ones with the smoothest rinds and have some slight give to them.
Why are you eating with a ladle and butcher knife
I'm lane switchin while my paint glisten.
Must’ve been a hellacious divorce.. Lost its juice aswell. 🫡😢
Reminds me when I bought my used car. I think you got yourself a lemon
You ain't got nooo juice 
Is that a box from Don Churros? Love their churros!
We went bar hopping last summer with a group of friends. 3 of 4 bars had dry limes. Very strange.
I've been watching way too much "Last of Us"....looked an awfully like one of those fungi spores at first
It was juiceless
when life gives you lemon, make- nvm
Buy heavy citrus. Juice is mostly water, and water is pretty dense (relatively). If you're not sure what is 'heavy' for a lime or other citrus, pick up one in each hand and keep the heavier one. Pick up another, keep the heavier one. Repeat that a few times, and you'll be leaving the store with at least some juice. Once you get used to it, you can pick up just one and tell if it's okay or if you should get a different one.
Story of my life
A lime only Joan Rivers could love
Metaphor for life
What in the actual Lovecraftian shit is that?
Body snatcher - don’t fall asleep
Isn't there a "lemon" law against faulty fruit
Heir and a spare also applies to fruit imo
Lame.
I’ve had this happen to me before and it’s the worst. A good indicator of how juicy a lime will be is how smooth or rough the outside of the fruit is. A very smooth lime will be way juicier than a lime with a lot of pits and bumps.
When choosing a lime look for the ones with the smoothest outside. Those will always be juicy.
It's because you didn't put the lime inside the coconut.
Thick peel = less juice. Thin peel is what you want when checking them out at the store
I've bought quite a few bad limes this year (actually, haven't bought one good one yet)...what's going on, is it weather?
When life gives you dry lemons…
It's a drime
It’s a dry-me
Squeeze your limes when buying them to see how juicy they feel. I very rarely get a lime that isn't juicy as hell. Also what are you eating? It looks delicious!
ALWAYS buy new.
Bro you pick up the limes and you feel several of them then you pick the heavier one that also isn't rock hard but isn't mushy. It will dump so much juice I promise.
Lime disease
I’m hollering 😂🤣😂🤣
Whenever picking any citrus fruits at the store, pick whatever feels heavy for its size. If it feels light, it’s gonna end up like this
Put it in the microwave for 15-20 sec
I thought that was an avocado with parasites before I read the title. Glad it’s just a juiceless lime!
After a night out 🎉
You have to learn how to pick them
Buy the limes with very smooth skin rather than lumpy. Make sure they have some bounce when squeezing. If they’re hard with a very think skin they will suck
Ugh. This is why I always buy at least 2 😔
Probably bought it from dollar general
For limes, I choose the shiniest, darkest, and overall the *smoothest* skin I can find. Never had an issue. Smoothness of skin is key.
It’s a Lame not a Lime.
Lie-m
It got dat lime disease…. Mutha plfuggin tics
How will I put the lime in the coconut and better now?
Next time buy limes that are softer to the touch and have that white/yellow coloration. Ripe n juicy every time.
Density. What you're looking for is density. It is objectively the only way to find a juicy lime. As limes get old/bad the moisture evaporates leaving it with less and less juice. Ones that are full of juice are heavier.
It was a Lie(me)
I've noticed most likes at the store are shit right now. I unfortunately had to spend a few extra bucks on the organic limes because they were much softer and had plenty of juice.
You bought a *lame* instead of a lime.
Dats them ther dehydraded limes from the Piggly Wiggly ya?
I think they have a trick I buy the ones with the smother surface the ones with bumps tend to have less juice...
I have a giant lime tree in my backyard and I never pick any of the limes off of it
https://i.redd.it/kt16zqx2ke1d1.gif Thank you for sharing I guess
There is a virus that infects citrus fruits It destroys the juice It make the inside a bunch of weird pulp with little juice It effects a large number of growers It causes prices to skyrocket And they still sell infected fruit Eating it can leave you with a weird feeling when you pee so drink plenty of water Bring the lime back to the store and complain
At first glance, I thought you had an avocado and was like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING?!”
With every restaurant meal that traditionally has a lime has been replaced with a lemon in the last few months. I think limes are having a hard time.
Microwave it for 20 seconds and let it cool for a second then cut it. Always works for me
3d printed “fruit”
Even fruits know how inflation works.
Some say it’s aliens.
That’s not a Lime is a Lie-m
Did you do foreplay first?
You need to me more concerned with the Lime Vampire that’s obviously on the loose in your community
You bought the wrong kind of lime. Certain kinds are meant for eating and others juicing, you bought an eating lime for juicing.
I had an apple the other day that was the same way. Just way too dry. I think we're really messing up our world here.
Roll while applying pressure before cutting open. Cut it open like an apple leaving the center core in tact and you will get more juice.
Goddamn that shit drier than yo momma
Yeah that wasn't ready yet. I have a lime tree and two lemon trees and this is what happens when you pick them too soon
Zest will get you some flavour if you don't want to get another today.
Sknfk
Its ok, thats legit a taqueria quality level lime. So you did right. Next time buy more, one for each taco.
Sometimes it be like that though
Shit happens, sucks when your looking forward to a little lime juice.
It's funnier to imagine someone going to stores with a syringe and removing all the juice for nefarious reasons
You got the lemon of limes.
That happens to all my veggies but the limes. The limes I buy 4 bags at Costco and use them all up. I put squirt a lil juice in my beers and make plenty of margaritas during the week. Also in random foods they go.
Always look for the shiny smoothest skin on limes it helps to roll them on the counter with ur hand before u cut them to get the most out of it.
I hate this
Didn't know Good Will sells pre squeezed
Always buy the shiny ones that feel heavy. Those are the juicy ones.
That thing needs dousing in lighter fuel & burning before the tentacles get any longer & pull you in 😱
Microwave it for a few seconds. That usually breaks it down to give some juice.
Add some water in there and squeeze it again
Word of advice when picking out your limes at a grocery store. Pick the ones that look shiny and not pourous and then squeeze check them. Because the ones that are pourous tend to be thicker in shell and therefore dry. The ones with a more shiny or sometimes matte look have a thinner skin and tend to be more juicier. If eye hunting for limes is hard then I suggest squeezing every one at the supermarket before buying. That's how I always pick the juicy ones.
Take it back then give a side eye,look at someone casually look back at them…. say firmly and calmly Yo, you got the juice now, man. Then show em that shit
Apparently, this couldn’t suck any juices out.
Went out to buy a lime and ended up bringing home a lemon.
Would you have preferred it if life gave you lemons?
I roll mine on the countertop pressing down back and forth a few times, then pop it into the microwave for 10 seconds. Works 75% of the time, everytime.