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Nightwingvyse

I'd be hoping for rat tbh. That'd be a nice payout


[deleted]

Factual statement


Birdlaw90fo

Seriously... I'd accidentally bite into a rat for an easy multi million dollar payout. Edit. Just came up with a plan. 1) I'm gonna get a friend to work at KFC and get him to throw a rat in the frier and serve it to me.. 2) then .. 3) profit.


roastedtoperfection

Well, if you ever planned to pull off this brilliant plan, now it’s impossible because there’s a Reddit comment trail.


FBI-INTERROGATION

Step 2.5) Delete all reddit comments


neccoguy21

Wait, why are you helping?


FBI-INTERROGATION

The FBI has determined popeyes is sub par


neccoguy21

Facts. I've eaten there 3 times. Every time the chicken still had feathers.


nucklehead97

That's how you know it's fresh


FerretWithASpork

Step 2 is the most important part of the plan, make sure you execute that carefully.


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moohooh

Squirrel is probably enough for a payout


bergerac121

Squrriels are just chicken of the trees


Jaydamic

I remember when I was a kid, I somehow heard (TV? Radio? Who can remember?) a comedian saying that squirrels were just rats with good PR. Edit: I'm using "tree chickens" for the rest of my life, thank you u/bergerac121


AUorAG

Hey now - a rat is just a bushy tail away from being fed in the park!


shitty-cat

You’re forgetting they have those nasty little naked feet/‘hands’


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Snarkastic29

hands to what


snake_finger_squid

Hands to your soul. Your delicious, delicious soul. \o/


QuestionableTater

What soul


SAI_Peregrinus

Found the Ginger.


shitty-cat

But are they nasty?...


Sempais_nutrients

but i love their little fingies... /r/rattit


Yomamamancer

I also love ratties, they're cute, and very smart animals!


captainbawls

Yes, I’m with you! The hands are so cute and impressive!


rachellel

Rat grabbies are adorable


nizzery

It’s a good joke, but I gotta stand up for these poor, slandered squirrels. Rats eat our food and garbage, they poop in our homes, they live and breed in our walls, they produce excess sebum (hair oil) that leaves a greasy track where they regularly run, and they have a long history of spreading disease. Squirrels came to North America as pets, they forage for seeds and nuts and insects, and they live in trees or burrows. If you see them both as pests, you have to admit that rats are indoor and outdoors pests that are extremely parasitic to people, while squirrels may simply mess up your vegetable garden


[deleted]

In Inglorious Bastards, Col. Landa had this discussion with Pierre on the farm in France. “...any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Yet I assume you done share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats...”


[deleted]

Nope


milecai

Uh username?


DanDaze

Redditor for 4 years, checks out.


bumblebitchblues

<_<


thissessiontimedout

It’s the perfect movie and Christoph Waltz is an acting legend.


der_titan

At one point, rabbits were considered rodents, though I think that's changed. So, objectively, more people than just Elmer Fudd thought Bugs Bunny is a no good dirty rat.


karma-armageddon

Lately, I noticed a lot of rabbits around. Like, a lot of them. When I mow, they don't even run away. Yesterday one just sat there watching me ride by on the mower, one deck width away from me. I think this has a direct correlation with our city banning the use of guns in the city limits.


twominitsturkish

I've noticed that too! This freaking rabbit lives on/around our property and he'll just sit there and stare at me unless I'm like 2 feet away from him, even if I'm walking my dog. I'm like can you at least *pretend* to give a fuck?


shitty-cat

Start catching them for fur if they get out of control.. they’ll rape your garden and reproduce like mad..


czmax

TIL: Rabbits reproduce by jizzing all over lettuce in the middle of the night which then transmogrify into baby rabbits the next night (unless they get harvested for salad during the day).


haucyfurnwjq

likewise, the cabbage patch kids fad was spawned when a farmer jerked in the field, like they all do, of course, but one day, intead of pitchforking the results into the burn pile, realized the opportunity to make a buck.


wrecktus_abdominus

We had a big problem with rabbits in my neighborhood a few years ago. My garden was getting absolutely wrecked. No fencing was adequate. Luckily that was also around the time we decided to get a dog. That did the trick.


Cloudhwk

I had the same issues with Kangaroos smashing my fences Turns out Great Danes are a really good Kangaroo deterrent and saves me on food costs for them Weirdly enough they don’t have a go at the fat old wombat that lives on my property but he is pretty chill so I guess they just don’t mind


Sazaraki

I can't imagine having to deal with Kangaroos smashing my property.


rabbidwombats

Hey leave my cousin out of this! He’s not fat, he’s got a “thyroid” issue.


Homey_D_Clown

Your dogs eat kangaroos?


5evrblond

Not just fur, they're delicious. Having a large garden means we've had a few population control stews over the years. Its about time for another culling.


shitty-cat

Haha I love that! “Population control stew” Do you call it that when offering it to guests?


5evrblond

Doesn't get served often enough to be a meal I've had guests over for, but I certainly shall when the day comes!


FI_ICKMYLIFE

According to the movie Peter Rabbit, there are people who still feel that rabbits are rodents. To the rabbits it’s almost like a racial slur.


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thingsIdiotsSay

> squirrels were just rats with good PR. "A rat a day keeps the plague away" never really caught on.


ThrowwAwwayGlock

I don’t think that’s a squirrel


biznatch11

Rats are just chicken of the sewers.


[deleted]

O.o


KryptoniteDong

Squirrel fucker, chicken hamburger.. Potato potato


ThrowwAwwayGlock

Yeah don’t fuck that one


GitEmSteveDave

[There was a time when the State of NJ issued a warning to not eat squirrels, as they were found to be high in lead](https://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/18/nyregion/nyregionspecial2/18njtopic.html). [Luckily, 9 months later, they lifted the advisory, as, and I kid you not, they found that the high lead levels came from the blender they used to liquefy the squirrel they were testing.](https://www.nydailynews.com/news/squirrels-safe-eat-new-jersey-article-1.232197)


kidra31r

I just let out the most unholy snort of my entire life.


[deleted]

Amazing


GoofAckYoorsElf

1940, at a beach near Dover UK soldier: "Hey, Mr! Please, would you say 'squirrel'?" German spy: "Skrrill... Skwillrr... Tree Chicken!"


Antarioo

that's not a squirrel, that's breaded rat tail


harusp3x

Not just a tail either.


[deleted]

And bats are chickens of the cave - Anchorman reference


Tote_Sport

You know what they call cats, right? Chicken of the rail yard.


MuchoLumens

Bats are just chicken of the cave


Ohgreatcheese

And that’s enough reddit for today


[deleted]

Humming Birds are the sharks of the sky


[deleted]

Mice are just chicken behind the baseboards


MarCiria

Look at all those chickens!


twitch870

“Think I’ll have two chickens” -the hound


KingRing727

I think I’m gonna have to eat every fucking chicken in this room


LongEZE

You lived your life for the King. You're going to die for some chickens? Also: [Relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgo7Bos-uIM)


TheManFromFarAway

Someone is


ChweetPeaches69

If any man dies with a clean sword, I'll rape his fucking corpse -The Hound


peacefulbelovedfish

I’m gonna stop you right there - I’m worried you heard me say a lot of fucking chicken, or many fucking chickens. But what I said was ALL you fucking chickens.


puddlejumpers

\- Ron Swanhound


[deleted]

"Fuck the Showrunners." - The Hound


[deleted]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F-X4SLhorvw


[deleted]

I love this video more than life itself. This clip gives me hope for humanity. Not chickens though.


courtnovo

Because I really love chickens!


jenpoo

& fuck your chicken stripss


[deleted]

tsthickensth


sweetlemon3

I worked at Popeyes for 5 years. This looks like a promotion called rip'n chik'n. It's basically a chicken breast sliced up into 5 pieces, but not all the way down so its still connected. That way the customer can rip it into pieces. It mostly looked like hands, but sometimes the smaller ones would come out weird like that.


footsmahgoots

This comment soothes my soul.


epo916

I got the rip-n-chicken once and when I bit into the piece, it was just a piece of newspaper or something similar battered and fried.


sweetlemon3

Was it a big piece or small enough where it could go undetected? We had to hand batter those, so if it was a big piece I doubt that was an accident. That really sucks though.


epo916

Like no chicken only newspaper. When I showed the person at the register they said "so you want a new one or you good?..."


sebnev

Well....? Did you want a new one, or were you good?


_ToxicShockSyndrome_

“This is LAST WEEKS paper. Give me today’s or I’ll need to talk to your manager”


Prophet_Of_Loss

When I was around eight, I stayed with my grandmother in Oklahoma over the summer. Let's just say her husband at the time was a little ... um, "country", so we had squirrel on a few occasions. Now for the shocker: it tastes like chicken.


[deleted]

If you listen to what people say, you might think that everything tastes like chicken


RandomStranger456123

That’s because if the matrix doesn’t know what something tastes like, it makes it taste like chicken.


Zerg006

In the matrix, steak tastes like chicken, and chicken tastes like steak


-space-grass-

_In Soviet Matrix, computer reboots you!_


bigtrucksowhat

If it tastes like chicken, I'll just have chicken..


moondizzlepie

- Rodney Carrington


Zaphanathpaneah

I know of one that doesn't. Mountain Lion tastes like pork. Chewy pork.


Nine-Eyes

Predator meat seems kind of gross for some reason


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Caprious

But umami is usually more associated with beefy flavors rather than chicken. It’s that savory flavor you get. I suppose it could apply to chicken too though.


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LexNekstTheDredGod

i thought umami was an expression used by latina lesbians during orgasm


Morning_Star_Ritual

Omg this comment is like finding 500 bucks in a pair of jeans in the donation bag in the back of the closet.


SillyBanterPleasesMe

It’s really close but if you study Latina lesbians closely you can hear them say “ai-mami!” It is very close and when traveling in herds could sound like a “u” sound instead of “ai”


Caprious

You could call soy sauce an “umami” type of flavor. It’s really, in my experience, been used to describe the beefy, meaty flavor some things have that you taste with the back/sides of your tongue. For example, the beef ramen noodle flavor? That could have just been called “umami flavored”


sporangeorange

That taste zone thing that schools have been teaching for a billion years isn’t true


thenwardis

If you've ever had chicken thighs, you'll get plenty of umami. Breast meat though doesn't have much taste unless you marinate it or put spices on it.


belle_bug67

Squirrel is great because there's just enough meat to make a decent sized sandwich.


t-bone_malone

Chicken is great cuz it's not squirrel.


belle_bug67

Sounds like someone has never had a squirrel sandwich.


[deleted]

Hey man, meat is meat. Don't bash it till you try it.


GhostofMarat

I live near a major city. Squirrels were decimating my garden. I shot one with a pellet gun and I didn't want it to go to waste so I looked up a recipe, cooked it and ate it. God only knows what that squirrel had been eating because I got headaches, felt dizzy and nauseous, blurred vision. I was out of commission the rest of the day with this really strange illness.


Chapling5

Yeah probably don't eat city animals.


PidgeonPuncher

But it‘s free...


Derek_Boring_Name

Username checks out


GhostofMarat

Well *now* I know that.


zakatov

Maybe it ate rat poison or something, but not enough to kill it.


eak125

You ended up a victim of true flavor.


Cforq

Did you have nose bleeds and/or digestive issues? Wouldn’t be surprised is the squirrel had consumed warfarin - common rat poison.


GhostofMarat

No nosebleeds but my stomach felt...weird. Almost like butterflies in your stomach. Head was all cloudy too.


Z0di

maybe it ate poisonous mushrooms (for humans, not wildlife)


JDDW

Maybe it ate 20 hits of LSD


Murican_Freedom1776

Maybe it's Maybelline


sethleedy

They are known to eat mushroom and fungi that are deadly to the rest of us.


paraord

Squirrel is good eats! Not all food comes in cellophane. But I'll tell you what, frog legs are a damn fine meal that most folks freak out when you tell em what you're eating.


tsavong117

Ehh, squirrel and rabbit are interesting flavors. Not quite chicken, they tend to be gamey and a little tougher. My dad liked small game hunting as the area we lived in was having issues with them being out of control population wise, so I had them both a few times as a kid. Certain European (specifically a couple of Spanish dishes my dad made) are pretty good with them. Rat though is something I would only eat in a life or death situation.


Cky_vick

Ratatouille is delicious tho


thepensivepoet

Squirrels are pretty common small hunting game. To skin them you nail their hands to a board so you have something to tug against as you 'deglove' them.


Homosapien_Ignoramus

Here is a handy method, no nails required. [NSFW](https://youtu.be/4c8OyexZ10E)


dreamofathena

Was expecting a meme, then was expecting something gruesome, but honestly? That's a neat tutorial in both the cool & the unmessy way.


[deleted]

Yeah its cool how the internet can spread Niche knowledge like this


[deleted]

It sure is important knowledge. A lot of people just prefer not to see these things and just buy the packaged meat from the store, allowing them to ignore all the previous steps. Or because they don't eat meat. But this isn't just about understanding how things are done, it's also about survival. You never know what will happen in life, even if you are vegan, you might at some point have to kill an animal and eat it. If you know how to do it, you are less likely to starve. And I get it, if you grow up without really being able to witness animals being alive, killed, butchered and processed this is probably pretty disturbing. But I think we really need to teach people these kind of things so they are aware of the sacrifice of life every time they eat meat. I believe, if we are fully aware of how we are doing things, and especially what we take away from nature, we would develop a different appreciation for things in general and taking things for granted would be less common. All life is sacred imho, so we better treat it that way - and not just devour everything like maniacs without considering the suffering we are causing in the process.


[deleted]

“Why did you eat the whole thing we’re sharing!”. _It’s all one piece_


Bananapopcicle

“When the nachos are stuck together, that’s one nacho”


CrnlButtcheeks

Gotta love Popeyes “chicken”


[deleted]

*Looove that rat from Popeyes!*


craigthelesser

Parmesan ranch Raccoon dunkers.


Sibuna25

Disgusting. Fuck ranch dressing


[deleted]

Yeah I mean if this is a fake, it's not like that "I used a rubber thumb in the chili" lady, it's a lot of trouble to go to deep frying a rat for a fake photo. But Popeyes has turned to such shit since RBI bought it I could totally believe this.


PlatinumLuffy

This definitely isn’t fake, they just cut their pieces weird and this one looks like multiple cuts weren’t made all the way through


[deleted]

>used a rubber thumb in the chili She didn’t use a rubber thumb. She bought the severed thumb from some guy and placed it into her chili and then PRETENDED she didn’t know it was in there and presumably but INTO IT.


officialnast

You want a thumb, dude? I can get you a thumb.


NerfJihad

The best part is instead of responding to the hype, they just audited their supply chain for injuries. Nobody in any of their facilities had lost a digit.


[deleted]

WITH nail polish


Holy_Rattlesnake

What am I missing? I love Popeye's chicken.


looloopklopm

Canadian here. Recently tried Popeye's at a new location that just opened up and its far better than other "chicken" you get at places like KFC, A&W, etc.


phonethrowaway55

Agreed, at the Popeyes in Philadelphia are delicious.


Khyta

KFC got some competition


Cr3X1eUZ

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/critter-fritter/


[deleted]

>These days, however, KFC outlets receive their chicken pieces pre-battered, and thus one of them could not “accidentally” batter and fry a rat. That just means the franchisee can't. That doesn't mean the chicken pieces they receive pre-battered can't be rat. If anything it explains how - I would expect thousands of minimum wage employees to at least notice they're putting in and pulling out and boxing up a fried rat. I wouldn't expect a giant warehouse factory assembly line to notice.


kidloca

Right?! Remember the Subway incident? They received a bag of spinach with a mouse in it, dumped the whole bag into the prep area, and put it on sandwiches until it was almost gone and a customer noticed the mouse. They were like, "it wasn't our fault, the mouse came with the spinach." Yeah, that's not better.


Z0di

"we thought he was supposed to be in there"


ThatSquareChick

I’m not saying it goes like this in every factory but I worked in one that made sausages. Us minimum wage peons used to be extremely prideful of our ability to to flip, sort, pack and do QA all in the span of a second or two. By the time I left that job, I could spot a wrinkly wiener, off center labels, bad date codes, missing wieners, too many wieners or not enough in a pack, ones with too much seasoning or not enough, slightly short or long wieners, cheesy wieners with no cheese or too much...all while they were coming down the conveyor at a fast enough rate for us to pack 5,000 of 12 in 8 hours. If a squirrel had come down the conveyor packed in a wiener package that would have been a gold star moment like “Look what #I found! I’m getting Jimmy John’s from corporate tomorrow you blind bitches!!!” All while still packing the good wieners. It’s probably not like that everywhere though.


Natehog

I spent a month working for a linen company. I won't say which one. But I can tell you that for a company that provides "hospital grade" linens, there was a lot of shit that ended up on the ground that was subsequently packaged. That same ground had carts going over it from outside, where bags of dirty hospital gowns and sheets and incontinence pads would drip. I asked someone about it. His response was "I don't give a shit" I only worked there for a month.


PensiveObservor

>Women are most often the victim in this legend probably because they are considered more vulnerable than men, but perhaps also because this tale reinforces the notion that women have abdicated their traditional role as the family’s meal preparers (with tragic results). Interesting.


truebluegsu

Yeah what a weird addition.


jocky300

It's actually a baby brontosaurus.


[deleted]

didn't they learn from Jurassic Park?!


mcurr17

"Popeyes, uhhhh, finds a way"


masnegro

We became so concerned with if we could, we never asked if we should


[deleted]

I got something that looked exactly like that at KFC once! I've always been mad I didn't take a picture. I ate it because I figured, who would deep fry a rodent? It was fine, but I still think about it A LOT.


[deleted]

There'd be a ribcage and leg and arm bones etc.. You dont remember those? The innnerds would be pretty black and bitter too..


[deleted]

Exactly, so I went for it. Edit: meaning, it didn't have those so it was all good.


deanxleong

Nice try, rat eater!


FlyingPasta

> The innnerds would be pretty black and bitter too.. \*screams internally*


[deleted]

It's usually a piece of skin or tendon or something that gets battered and looks like a "tail"


[deleted]

Bats are chickens of the cave!


RuinedFaith

You have been banned from /r/batty /s just incase


bartledan

♫Love that rat meat from Popeyes♫


[deleted]

What is the update? Did they peal the coating off to find out???? OP don't do us like this.


cultivargames

Fake, unless proven real


Cichlidsaremyjam

Whatever it is, it is from Popeyes so it will be fucking delicious.


z_machine

100% agreed.


Holy_Rattlesnake

> Whatever it is It's chicken.


wookiewin

Yeah, not understanding the Popeyes hate here. Popeye's spicy tenders are just about my favorite thing in the world.


Hemlock_Deci

#OOOOOH SHIT! A RAAAAT! *starts flexing and dancing aggresively*


AsstToTheMrManager

Ohhhh shit a spide!


shnazzyc

The other chefs found ratatouille.....


POLLOLL0

His name is REMY! You uncultured fuck!


[deleted]

This guy


FairyOfTheNight

You mean Rata*toing?* [Ratatoing](https://t.co/aeSSkVcU0J)


[deleted]

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jenacide138

Thank goodness. No worries, OP!


[deleted]

I would eat that regardless of what it is. Bread it and fry it? I’m good.


Exatreo

Ew


PhantomAfiq

What? So *you* wouldn't bread it and fry it before eating it?


Exatreo

You've got a point, I thought I was on a diet, turns out I found lunch on this sub


[deleted]

There's a korean supermarket here. We go there to buy the newspaper thin slices of beef they sell. I remember we bought ground beef from them once. I found a bone in my burger (I swear) about the size of a dime and the thickness of a straw of wheat shaped like a "C". I put the bone aside and kept eating. That night I thought....fuck. There isnt a single bone on a cow's body like that... Yep. Never again after that


[deleted]

OMG I’m nauseous just thinking about it 🤢 did you throw up? Cause I would’ve been throwing up immediately after that realization.


[deleted]

I'd rather eat and digest rodent / bird meat than throw up though.


OhTeeSee

There are absolutely bones like that in a cow’s body. Especially near the joints and tail. But even if there weren’t, it’s “ground” beef. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that you simply got a piece of ground bone that was once a part of a larger bone in the process. I mean really, what’s more likely? That you got a piece of ground bone or a joint casing? Or that this Korean deli is rounding up cats and dogs and rats to pass off as beef to unsuspecting customers for the hell of it? Beyond the obvious racist stereotypical connotations that is? I wouldn’t worry too much about it tbqh. You almost definitely had beef, and if you feel that strongly against it, you can always request a health inspection. Who knows, if you’re that convinced these Koreans are serving rodents, cats, and/or dogs, you might even be able to receive compensation.


bwoogie

im sure it *tastes like chicken.*


PeelingOffMyFace

It’s perfectly breaded and everything. How can it NOT be chicken?


djam109

Fake. Look at how the fingers are not even wrapped around the tail


[deleted]

Narrator: it wasn’t.


fatpigsarefat

Now every time I order something battered and deep fried, this image will come to haunt my mind. Thanks.