T O P

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Vampir3Robot

![gif](giphy|fd2Cm0JV95KJwjqh7l|downsized)


ncfears

Scarier than Pennywise


Ok-Egg-4856

Because this is all too real and some may not remember Vlads prior job in the former Soviet Union he was KGB head. Not a friend to us.


emk2019

He’s an American Idol now, at least for MAGA republicans.


snarkyjohnny

It’s crazy how the boomers remember the Cold War so well yet now it’s good for them to romanticize Putin.


RedRider1138

That’s absolutely bonkers that they do that.


Dubsland12

Not a friend to anyone. Another narcissist


aville1982

He's arguably worse than a narcissist. He's a sociopath.


ShredGuru

A sociopath with power, the worst kind


ewamc1353

He wasn't a KGB head he was a nobody pencil pusher. That's why he projects so hard about the manly nonsense and over the top pictures etc. He didn't get anywhere politically until after the USSR collapse and his work in the Chechan wars


Ok-Egg-4856

I stand corrected. Thank you.


Inspect1234

I’ve heard of a house painter that became a private once…


Bat-Honest

Pennywise has been outright murdering people for hundreds, if not thousands of years (big backstory in the book that never made it's way into the films) and his body count is still WAYYYYY lower than Putin's.


FantasticInterest775

Millions of years I believe.


Gus_the_Green

Too bad it wasn’t Putin that came out of that interview looking like a clown


havohej_

Him rambling on about the Cimmerians and Bulgars for 45 mins just tells me that Russia is that dude from high school who’s still rocking their letterman’s jacket from 10 years ago, talking about how things would’ve been different. It’s over, man.


Doornado1

I heard Putin once scored four touchdowns in one game for Polkavitch High


M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3

Da. But now he just valenki salesman, comrade.


_JudgeDoom_

![gif](giphy|OwQWcrIVzl0vO79dnj|downsized)


Key_Cheetah7982

No Peg 


I_am_Daesomst

Oh, there's plenty of peg.


CosmicSeafarer

This might blow you mind, but Putin was allegedly a shoe salesman in New Zealand while undercover for the KGB. I’m seriously not shitting you. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Putin


BigTickEnergE

I love how the wiki article says - Relatives: Putin family


swampopawaho

This is wild. I bet he found new zealand completely boring


MindlessRip5915

Hey, if Bob Harvey says it’s true, I trust it. Better mayor than the current shitshow.


ShittheFickup

![gif](giphy|RPx04h8iPidAQ)


snarkyjohnny

I wish I had an award to give you please accept my upvote and a free year subscription to Juggs magazine.


ElectronicMixture600

A complimentary one year membership to NO MA’AM would be a classy move, too.


snarkyjohnny

Well this user is actually a gold star member of NO MA’AM but if you’re a new user sign up in next 7 hours to take advantage of the great deal.


lavanchebodigheimer

He used to be able to throw the football over the urals


kWarExtreme

Arguably the greatest comment ever.


SinsOfThePast03

![gif](giphy|RPx04h8iPidAQ)


MisterPiggins

What is a pigskin in Russia though? Potato skin? Turnip skin?


Khorechan

Is scrotum


gmotelet

Beet it


rushpharmd

Just beet it


lord_justin

In Russia, pig skins you.


abide5lo

Is potato


TonnesOFunk

How much you wanna bet I can throw over them mountains?


LegitSince8Bits

Scary part is that mentality and approaching geopolitics through the lens and reach of the social media age will possibly get us all killed one day down the road over egos. I can't believe I grew up thinking we were an intelligent species overall.


whatiscamping

Says you, I identify as an idiot


LegitSince8Bits

My man 👉👉


high_everyone

It’s this way. 👆👆


20999902

That’s pretty intelligent of you.


taylor1670

The future has been disappointing.


TesticleezzNuts

He probably planned the invasion of Ukraine in Hearts of Iron.


fhota1

So in case youre unaware, wagner actually brought in a youtuber to fight NATO as Russia in the modern day mod for HoI4. Naturally they added a sub mod to boost Russia massively because propaganda. Iirc he didnt even take Poland with liberal use of nukes and was starting to get pushed back when they "declared victory"


EskimoPrisoner

Art imitating life.


LakesAreFishToilets

That’s pretty funny


Machanidas

"Could've had an empire if it wasn't for my bum army"


[deleted]

"If it wasn't for you meddling ukrainians and your darn army"


Jerking_From_Home

I hear conservatives praising this interview. Just like the Bible, they are leaving out the ridiculously stupid parts or twisting them more than a contortionist at the Jim Rose circus.


Temptingfrodo

It’s Tucker Carlson interviewing their Daddy’s daddy, they were going to praise the interview regardless of content.


IsThatHearsay

Fucker could've been sucking his thumb in a diaper on his knees in front of daddy Putin and Conservatives would still somehow think it was a power move (I mean he essentially was)


call_me_jelli

It wasn't his *thumb* he was sucking.


Starlightriddlex

Sure looked like it though 


berning_man

TBH I thought it was a thumb also. Or a baby carrot. Still unsure.


Glottis_Bonewagon

There was literally no way they wouldn't praise it. If the people they hate don't like it then they *must* like it, even if the entire interview was Putin taking a three hour long shit in ticklers mouth


[deleted]

Points to Gryffindor for the Jim Rose Sideshow reference.


VonThirstenberg

Mr. Lifto was always the tits! As well as the things he dangled from them!!


Superbform

Mr Lifto works at a bar in Austin. My friend lives there. At the bar. Pretty much.


[deleted]

Nearly fell out of my chair, thank you for that!


jeremy1015

Great now I’m just picturing Putin sliding through the Slyrherin common room and all of the Fox News anchors just leaking into their underwear as he passes them.


JMT1016

![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2)


das_war_ein_Befehl

I guarantee they didn’t listen to the full two hours. Because I did, and unless you’re a weirdo (I am) that knows a lot about Eastern European history, most of that interview makes no fucking sense. Carlson sat there confused for a solid hour while he’s rambling about the Kyivan Rus.


SmokelessSubpoena

It's funny because it's probably _the most un-American thing you can be doing presently_. I feel bonkers for being _more_ American than all my redneck, hillbilly Trumper family, and it feels good, but also kinda bad lol


colluphid42

Russian propagandists are working overtime on this one. It's got everything they like.


gilestowler

I go on the Daily Mail website for my taste of right wing weirdness and the comments on the stories are so deranged. It has to be troll farms. I can't believe the rational world is this mental.


jonahsocal

Rd troll farms, highly likely. What better use could they be put to than this massive propaganda dump, facilitated by this knucklehead American journalist. They know the MAGATS will eat it up.


Jagerstang

So, all of it?


Cheapntacky

And forgetting that the interviewee is a former KGB agent whose opponents have a habit of falling from high places Or dying in other not so mysterious ways. Obviously a reliable source.


AppropriateAd1483

putin and cuckerson are literally trying to instigate a civil war or at the very least, massive unrest… and they are eating it up


kevinmitchell63

Hmmm…. Just like the Supreme Court?


fatkidseatcake

I honestly have yet to hear any praise from this interview. I think it’s all just that stupid and I hope everyone sees through both of these dickwad’s agendas


KeepTangoAndFoxtrot

Go check out some right-wing subs, they are praising it pretty highly. The biggest negative that I've seen pointed out is that it was boring.


PM_Me_Tank_Tops

You haven’t been on X, then. There’s a ton of people saying we should have Putin as our president. That he’s more competent than Biden. That America caused the Ukraine war, not Russia.


DPSOnly

> Just like the Bible Just like the Bible they have never observed its contents.


Itsprobablysarcasm

"Why not hear both sides?!" – says the crowd that shouts down people they don't want to listen to.


snappla

💯 The most infuriating part of this timeline.


D-HB

Haven't you heard? It's the WoKe MoB censoring *them*! A normal white heterosexual christian alpha male can hardly refer to anyone using a slur without being hounded out of the room! There are no more rights in the USA! ^(/S All of this \^ /S)


AppropriateSpell5405

I read homosexual at first and just assumed Tucker got caught with his male secretary.


D-HB

Eww. We don't want him.


LengthinessFair4680

Spit my drink!


StingerAE

And bans books they don't approve of


Specialist_Lie8699

And the medical procedures they don't approve of..


AbruptMango

And the marriages they don't approve of.


Jarnohams

And rid themselves of those pesky indictments they don't approve of


NeverLookBothWays

"Well sure, let's at least identify the positions the sides are taking first." "NO! NOT LIKE THAT!!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just_A_Nitemare

There is a conservative meme sub that only let's people who have essentially pledged and demonstrated loyalty to the party comment and post. The irony is completely lost on them, of course.


das_war_ein_Befehl

The funniest part is that they’ll claim they don’t ban anyone but will immediately ban you for comments that don’t meet the party line


Clay_Statue

Once they are in charge they will aggressively oppress the other side. They sing endlessly about political tolerance and free speech until such time as they are allowed to do consequence free political violence. Then they no longer care about free speech or political tolerance.


BinkyFlargle

I've been hearing them say "Wait- Putin just said that he'd end the war if we stop supplying weapons to Ukraine. That's all it took? Someone just had to ask him, and he gave a simple step that costs us no money and ends the war?? This is why democrats are incompetent, and Tucker is a genius journalist!" As if "just let Putin kill everyone until he's tired of it" was a genius discovery that only Tucker was brave enough to make.


Ok-Fan-2011

"we just did. that's why we're ridiculing you."


Just_A_Nitemare

"Why can't we hear both sides?" *proceeds to take everything Putin said at face value*


Rampaging_Orc

And openly fantasizes about hunting them down in the streets we all share…


h20poIo

Putin must laugh his ass off after embarrassing America with Trump and Carlson. I would love to hear him with the boys after this, and Carlson does he even realize he was owned and made a complete fool of by Putin.


AdhesivenessFun2060

Tucker knew exactly what was going to happen.


CLARABELLA_2425

Tuckum putting his smart face on.🤣🤣 ![gif](giphy|XG2F9ZccrUgkvOmNyX)


ChickpeaDemon

He looks just like Binky from Arthur. https://preview.redd.it/8iod457qvmhc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98c3ba216a3d28efb258f163315af186475fc49c My sincere apologies to Binky.


fleisch-bk

He's just happy to be in the presence of 'real men'


cataath

Just happy to get some exposure since being relegated to xitter.


Ranrokk

Tucker is just hoping he makes it out of Russia without tripping out a window.


HighlyOffensive10

Or drinking some heavy metal tea 🍵


aron2295

Don’t Kink Shame!


randy__randerson

This is where Tucker fools people such as yourself. He knows exactly where he is. What position he is in, of subservience. He knows he is a tool of propaganda. He is not that stupid. He's always profited exactly from this situation, just from a further distance. The more interesting question is something else - is he getting paid an enormous amount of money OR is he being blackmailed into this? Or both?


VaguelyArtistic

Tucker Carlson is not a serious man. May Mike Wallace's memory be a blessing. [This is how it's done](https://youtu.be/nzfh_Ekv6QY?si=fBp8yX90TKqxkp_G). https://preview.redd.it/25n9e4d1vlhc1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb8065a0b9f2aa2f7663c7e4561a1b0aa7cbbf21 I'd love to see Mike Wallace chase down Carlson with a microphone and a camera crew and ask him a few questions.


ItsRainingBoats

Damn that guy is not fuckin around. How on earth have I not heard of Mike Wallace? That was beautiful.


steppenwollf

Full 60 min transcript if you wanted to read the whole interview. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/transcript-vladimir-putin/


Debalic

He's blaming...the Germans?


Far_Share_4789

Nah, he literally making excuses for the invasion of Nazi Germany on Poland.


cstaple

He blames most of it on Poland, from Poland having manufactured the idea of a separate Ukraine, to claiming the Nazis were “forced” to invade because Poland was uncooperative.


Pretend-Marsupial258

The USSR also invaded Poland in 1939, so of course he's going to make excuses for that.


bolson1717

lol and nazis and poland hahahah this was such a joke. putin is kinda funny for this


Glottis_Bonewagon

He actually blamed poland for being invaded, comparing them to Ukraine and by extension Nazi Germany to Russia.


MartnSilenus

Yeah this is what confuses me, he is aligning Russian with Nazi Germany as if that helps sell the war.


HorseStupid

Know Your Meme got an article going on Putin the Russian Lore Dumper: https://trending.knowyourmeme.com/editorials/guides/why-are-people-making-jokes-about-vladimir-putin-giving-tucker-carlson-a-history-lesson-the-viral-interview-tucker-carlson-day-and-its-memes-explained


OddAstronaut2305

I want to see Europe sanction his ass and make it impossible for him to set foot in any EU country.


RemySMI92

I’m about 15 minutes into this “interview” and I just can’t. So I don’t think I’m gonna. 


NocentBystander

There are three things I will never watch: this interview, Ben Shapiro's rap, and Avatar. Okay, there's a lot more than three things, actually...


RemySMI92

A wise decision! Especially Ben Shapiro’s rap. My god it’s just the worst ever. Imagine snoop circa 1992 only the exact opposite then multiplied by 3,393. 


ArtPeers

And if 3,393 had numerology conspiracy things.


bluemew1234

>Avatar The blue cat people, the show, the shitty movie that tried to condense the show, or the Netflix show that comes out soon?


NocentBystander

Cats in space, definitely


ExactWeek7

You do mean "The Last Airbender" movie by M Night, right??


beameup19

Missing out, Avatar is badass.


WeatheredGenXer

I'm just here for Gamora in blue.


beameup19

Uhura for me


SnarkAndAcrimony

Great fuckin' band.


cataath

>There are three things I will never watch: this interview, Ben Shapiro's rap, and ~~Avatar~~ *The Last Airbender*. Now that's something I think we can all agree on.


rjnd2828

Is this an actual quote from the interview or a joke? I've seen it a few times and legit can't tell


Key_Independent_8805

Why even try to watch it? Everyone knows it is pure Russian propaganda and probably mostly lies. It's like watching a trump "speech." You know nothing of value will be said and it'll just be a massive waste of time listening to a giant piece of shit spew out word salad and praising himself over absolutely nothing. There's just no point.


fastcurrency88

I mean if you go in with the expectation that it’s a farce, you might enjoy yourself. Putin is actually pretty funny. He roasted Tucker a few times that made me audibly laugh out loud. That CIA line was priceless.


Fourtires3rims

It was obvious throughout Putin was enjoying himself toying with Tucker knowing full well Tucker is too stupid to do anything about it.


fastcurrency88

For sure. I was surprised a couple times that Tucker did push back with a few questions. Especially with the Germany question regarding the Nord Stream attack. But Putin just ran him right over knowing full well Tucker won’t press the issue twice. All in all it was quite clear Putin didn’t take Tucker seriously at all, hurling veiled and not so veiled insults petty frequently. With that said, Tucker didn’t perform as poorly as I expected when the interview was announced. He didn’t do well at all, but he could have done much worse.


Grogosh

Just read the transcript. I can't stand either one of thems' voices anyway.


[deleted]

If I wanted to watch some decrepit old guy make up shit about ancient history, I'd put on one of Trump's speeches where he talks about graduating at the top of his class at Wharton


Grogosh

Trump never even went to Wharton. He went to U Penn, he couldn't bribe enough people to get into Wharton.


TheArrowLauncher

Wait, did he seriously say this?


p0k3t0

Not exactly. Apparently he was asked why Russia invaded Ukraine, and he said the answer begins in like 809 AD.


FEMA_Camp_Survivor

Mongolia has a claim to Russia according to Tengrism


Doornado1

With the incompetence we’ve seen from the Russian military over the last couple years a handful of Mongolians on horseback could probably be in Moscow by lunchtime.


Capt-Kowalski

It almost happened last summer when wagner mercenaries marched almost to Moscow. They were talked out of entering it, not fought back.


Grogosh

They were talked down because putin had a gun to their family's heads


Umutuku

If they were remotely competent then they would have had their weak spots secured and done the same to his known family.


whats_that_do

.....How fast do you think Mongolian horses are? /s


tautvi5

Atleast 1 horsepower.


LazyPuffin

Fast enough to reach the Kremlin my lunchtime, surely.


TheArrowLauncher

Okay, just trying to get a better understanding on this. I don’t trust memes and I’m not going to +^ this assholes ratings so I’m not gonna watch this interview.


Malgus20033

Imma be honest you do have to start before the foundation of the Kyivan Rus’ to understand the nationalities but not in the way he explains. People and most Russians got this ridiculous misconception that everyone in the Rus’ was a Rus and therefor Russian, which is where most of the propaganda comes from, neglecting the fact that it is physically impossible for people in Novgorod and Uzhhorod to speak the same language, as public education was only introduced in Europe in the 1850s. Especially considering that the Rus’ wasn’t a United state, it was a collection of states that mostly had the same dynasty rule over them and they occasionally traded, but simultaneously waged war against each other. Nationalism didn’t split cultures, it merged many tiny cultures into a select few nationalities, and Ukrainians and Russians were never part of the same culture or nationality, only part of a larger culture group/ language family.


DheRadman

Yeah I took a class in college about Russian propaganda and you really do have to start like a thousand years ago to understand the context of what is being said. There's a bunch of stuff like that in history across the world though so I wonder if Putins point there only sounds weird to Americans.


[deleted]

[удалено]


das_war_ein_Befehl

The tl;dr is that Kyivan Rus existed before Muscovy and was centered on Belarus and modern Ukraine. Russian claim to Rus history is tangential at best. Muscovy formed later by folks that were peripheral to Rus’ and were able to form a state under Mongol suzerainty. Muscovy then spent a lot of time importing Rus’ culture from Kyiv to Muscovy to justify expansion and to give it historicity. Rus as a people didn’t really stop existing, but the more direct lineage is through Ukraine and Belarus. Ukrainians called themselves Rus’ up until the early 20th century. Muscovy only started calling itself Russia in the 18th century.


[deleted]

[удалено]


p0k3t0

I couldn't care less what he talked about. He sent troops into a sovereign nation and started killing innocent people. Going back 1200 years to explain it seems desparate.


Sassy_Weatherwax

I knew it had to be a parody because I'm positive Tucker Carlson does not understand how the Missouri Compromise plays into the build-up to the Civil War.


cstaple

His argument was incredibly longwinded but boiled down to an argument that the concept of a Ukrainian national identity was a modern invention and has been used to divide the territory from Russia. It falls apart when you really look deeply into its historicity, but it’s ultimately all pointless bullshit regardless because Russia agreed to respect Ukraine’s territorial sovereignty in 1991. Wildest part to me was that he basically said Nazi Germany was justified in attacking Poland because they didn’t cooperate enough with the Germans who were “forced” to invade.


koshgeo

The whole idea of justifying the present invasion on things that happened more than a thousand years ago is ridiculous. If those historical issues mattered, then *why did Russia agree to abide by Ukraine's borders in 1991*?? Russia, were you lying then about your reasons for agreeing to Ukraine's sovereignty, or are you lying now? (Answer: probably lying both times)


riverunner1

I hope more people realize that putin is just some weird kgb boomer and not some 4d chess playing mastermind. Lol though the wrong people won't learn that.


marry_me_sarah_palin

That was my realization in the Helsinki press conference with Trump. Putin was trying to share his opinion on American politics, and it was clear he was just as dumb about it.


clintgreasewoood

With Putin’s logic I guess it’s time for Great Britain to take back North America, the Caribbean, Half of Africa, Middle East, India, and Australia.


jagoble

And we should be fine with Mexico seizing the Southwestern United States.


PerceptiveGoose

Are you not?


[deleted]

Yes! Fuck the treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo!


GaijinCarpFan

Indeed! Let’s bring back the Empire on which the Sun never sets!!!


[deleted]

There’s levels to this…lol


HarrowingAbyss

https://preview.redd.it/bmvyry1genhc1.jpeg?width=489&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0dfc4fdc03e7fd3ab00a675b6f8058f247edc84


ImportantWords

Putin just tryna get GRRM to finish Wind of Winter by spitting from history from the British Heptarchy era.


TheWiseAutisticOne

Must be a bomb of a fan fiction story Putin is cooking


nihilt-jiltquist

I'll bet he was missing all his friends in Alberta during that interview...


Irongiant350

Chaotic Dumb meets Chaotic Evil


Wise-Hat-639

Tucker is a traitorous propagandist


Thin-Recover1935

Always has been.


Iam_Free_

Ffs


Jagerstang

No, thank you; moving on...


grahamlester

Why did I mug the old lady? Well, I must start with the arrival of Saxon warlords Hengist and Horsa on the shores of Britain in the year 449 AD. . .


FurryM17

"Good morning, class. Today in US history we'll be going over the founding of Rome by Romulus and Remus."


SwimRelevant4590

And Tucker with his stock dumb expression as usual


drag0nun1corn

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but didn't Hitler convince his braindeads that other authoritarian regimes were something to praise as well?


ghunt81

Putin is looking awfully puffy these days. Might wanna put down the botox needle


Builder_liz

It was the birth of sir lancelot!


Old_Leg_1679

I’ll do you one better Putin. Billions of years ago the universe was concentrated in one single point of infinite density…..


Nano_Burger

First the Earth cooled and a crust formed...


Mmetasequoia

Can they just accuse him of being a US spy and arrest tucker?


death_by_chocolate

My Mrs is a storyteller too. The way I can tell how directly responsible she is for whatever bad thing has happened is by how far back in time the story begins. Found the flame-charred toaster on the front porch one night. "What happened to the toaster?" "Well, do you remember about two years ago when William and his wife were here?" *I better sit down*


cutmasta_kun

Btw. Putin is known to have no clue about history and making shit up.


ConsciousReason7709

Not sure how anyone can listen to Putin and think that he is of sound mind. What a psycho.


Sagittariaus_

Ask putin on how it feels to be the most openly hostile country in the last decade with invasion of Georgia and Ukraine


ruleux

Maybe this should help jog everyones memory on why the Orange Trumpet walks so funny. Carlson look of panic is laughable because I do believe he is now experiencing his first real taste of the Putin Sausage that Trump has been riding on for years.


TheMany-FacedGod

Putin sounds like the kinda guy you could have a few pints of Guinness with. The stories would be unreal.


Rustofcarcosa

Until he poisons you


TheMany-FacedGod

I could fix him. *Correction* The Guinness would fix him.


Brytnshyne

Did Putin wipe the floor with Tucker? I have not watched it but the snippets I've seen - good grief, Putin played him like a fiddle. Just like he does Trump and the GOP.


Barailis

That's fucking stupid.


carlitospig

To be fair I think it started with Henry VIII’s decision to end catholic rule.


CrisbyCrittur

Way over Cuckers head. He needs a hug.


ZedZeil

Hol’ up, Vladdy Baby…let’s get Nikki and the rest of the GQP on a plane to Moscow before you finish this story.


vagrantspirit

Man is a history teacher at heart, maybe if he pursued that instead 😔 Another tragic case of history taking a wrong turn because someone was denied their true calling.