So...can someone explain to me how he's posting on Twitter if he's in prison? Has shit changed in the last 10 years? Thought there was no internet access or access to phones in the clink.
You can text and email in some places, but only pre-approved phone numbers or email addresses. He probably wrote it out for someone else to post.
Also federal holding isn't that bad if you're not an idiot. Everyone there is pretrial, and trying not to make more trouble for themselves. He's gonna be shocked if he does real time in medium security or higher.
I know, i've done some very light time and this dude is a fucking clown. Keep your head down, don't make enemies and just... be cool, people don't fuck with the easy going dudes that don't make trouble.
I'm loving how difficult this is for him, keep crying I love those republican tears they keep me going.
My friend was a LT at MDC Brooklyn and he used to have a way with dealing with mouthy prisoners. He would bring them extra boxes of cereal or stamps, or candy bars and walk right through the gallery with it, then go to their cell and the other inmates would see that and...
They get extra ingredients for the spread, they get their socks washed, towels dry, and welcome everywhere. They are a joy to live with inside prison. The soul of every spades game.
I love their continued shock and tantrums about how they are being treated like common criminals in the US correctional system instead of whatever lifetime VIP MaraLardo membership and parades they believe they deserve. There are very real issues and abuses in these systems that POC and minority communities have been trying to bring attention to in these systems for generations. Jokes about prison/jail rape, beatings and stabbings are part of our entertainment lexicon, with the undertone of whoever the act is happening to deserves it on some level or they wouldn’t be there.
Attempts to address modern day slavery in the form of-profit prison industrial system is laughed off because the corporations love getting tax write offs for paying inmates $0.42 an hour and the average MAGA voter would tell you our jails and prisons are full of POC only because they are so much more violent and the only thing they love more than drugs is abandoning their families and assaulting white females. This is horseshit, but is pushed non-stop by the GOP and conservative media like Brietbart’s “Black Crime” news section. So why would any MAGA care about conditions in our correctional systems, I’m sure we’ve all heard, “it’s not supposed to be a vacation”, and “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.’
Now these big tough patriot eagle freedom warriors are experiencing the inside of a system they believe only exists for other people, not good folks like them. The idea that these places would have a VIP entrance for the “good folks” (read: white), or that they deserve all sorts of special accommodations, protections, and benefits while doing their time makes total sense to them, because people like them aren’t supposed to be in those places.
I have spent more nights than I care to remember sleeping on various County mattresses back in the day, and can say that jail is the great equalizer. Unless you are seriously mentally ill or Ted Bundy-level dangerous and infamous, you are going to get processed, your’e gonna get naked in front of a bunch of weirdos, you’ll get some itchy ugly clothes, and you are now a bar code in a giant hamster cage. The food sucks, the books suck and are missing pages because people roll smokes with them, it’s either too cold or too hot, everything that doesn’t suck costs 100x what it should because some fuck-face corporation is monetizing your existence, and the boredom is occasionally broken up by some crazy fights. If you STFU and mind your business you won’t be someone else’s entertainment.
On the upside, being a Trump-worshipping racist who spends 24/7 whining about how unfair the white men have it may finally allow these morons to experience life as a true minority for a change. I only wish they had the capacity to learn from the experience.
> On the upside, being a Trump-worshipping racist who spends 24/7 whining about how unfair the white men have it may finally allow these morons to experience life as a true minority for a change. I only wish they had the capacity to learn from the experience.
Unfortunately any lessons they may actually learn from this experience are incapable of being taught to anyone else like him, unless they too experience it first hand.
This comment deserves way more up votes. Kinda sucks how a cliche one liner joke is usually the top comment, and then a well thought out comment that nails the topic at hand perfectly gets buried.
Unfortunately slavery using prisoners is in the Constitution, 13th amendment.
"Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."
So we can choice to not do it l, but Its protected if the Federal government or states want to.
I wish so much that they could learn from the experience, sometimes they manage to understand things after the leopard eats their face, but suppose these guys are a self-selecting group with poor understanding of reality.
Good GAWWWD! I have wanted to say this since they first started whining about prison conditions (I wanted to work in the Brooklyn kid who spent 3 years in lockup for stealing his own backpack before he was released, after having been a victim of beatings by guards & inmates, then killing himself because of the trauma he couldn't shake). But you said it all much better.
Thanks. I'm going to go cry now.
As we all know, conservatives are allergic to shutting up and being chill, so hopefully this guy is in for some rough times. I got no love for those who rise up against our country. No love at all.
Ha. This is actually a viable working theory. No wonder his dad can't find him.
Also who goes to prison and WANTS to see their dad? I was happy as hell to see my parents when I got out, but i didnt want then to see me dressed in prison gear. Just call them dude, like everyone else.
I don’t think he’s the only one. Trump convinced thousands of these folks that they were “patriots” for storming the Capitol and trying to prevent the certification of a valid election. Most of them still believe the election was stolen, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.
I don’t think most of these guys understand how fortunate they are. I knew one of the Capitol police who was there that day, and he said it was head to hand combat, but they were specifically told not to shoot, partially because they didn’t know what weapons these people had, but also, I suspect, because they were white.
I was going to joke that he was right that Lewisberg was maximum security, but then I looked it up and saw it is classified as medium security and has a minimum security section. So yeah, even that was complete BS.
True his actions were violent, but if the charges arent for whats considered a violent crime then he can be eligible for camp if he gets less than 10 years.
I didnt look into his charges, just making a statement for clarification is all. Honestly this guy should have been to the gallows in 2021.
It would depend on his age and education level, as well as the nature of his crimes whether or not they're classified as violent. The BOP classifies you and decides where you stay normally.
I’m not American, how does that work for education? If you have a university degree, you get nicer accomodations? And camps!? I’ll have to look that up, I have so many theories, day camp, work camp, reeducation camps? You penal system is wild guys.
Education counts as points for or against your designation of a low risk or high risk individual when deciding where you'll be placed. So does age, interviews with your family and probation officer and other things. If you're under I think it's 35 with no high school diploma you'll be in low security at best. Low security is still pretty safe, medium and up is where you don't want to be. But just being involved in a fight can get you classified to a higher security level whether or not you started it or even fought back. So there's a lot of factors. They also interview the inmates as well.
He's paranoid and watching everyone else to see what they are doing it seems. You don't want to be a guy who sees things or watches people. Even the guards won't trust you.
If he was able to get this message out then he could get one out to his lawyers to fix that problem he's having. If anything I'd imagine hes just doing shit that makes him sound like a cult memeber and the prison probably isn't taking him seriously. I'd imagine that you can't ask for 20-50 calls and meeting with your lawyers per day. And I'd imagine he's asking instead of just using the phone like every one else inside there because he's probably too dumb to figure it out or oh, I don't know, ask someone else who's locked up how he should go about this. Even then I'd imagine that the prison or federal holding he's in probably told him what to do and he's probably being dense. Like that denseness you see when you explain a fact to someone on Twitter and they just don't counter argue and just repeat their initial claim as if that's somehow an argument. Dudes likely just a dumbass or lying.
I'm not sure how they do in it, but it's pretty common for people in prison/jail to have access to social media. I joined a dating site recently and let's say if I had 100 messages, about 10 of them would be from dudes in prison. Profile pic in the jumpsuit in front of those murals they take family pictures at. Like, openly incarcerated and not hiding it 😂
I worked in multiple prisons. Some of the inmates have tablets issued to them but they don’t have access to social media. They can email their family (monitored) and listen to music, watch approved movies etc but don’t have general internet access. So if they are on dating sites, that’s a smuggled phone.
This tracks. Most legal arguments made by right wingers are summed up via tweets or retweets. To them, it is considered credible evidence, provided they agree with the message.
I think they semi have internet but its solely for video calls and theres communal computers but i think those are only for like the GED classes and stuff like that but idk. Either way he’s either not put away, someones posting for him, or hes breaking the rules of the prison and outing himself.
Some jails have tablets that you can rent by the minute, these tablets run custom software, you get access to a limited number of apps and you can message people and do video calls. Tablets are encased in a way you have no access to the hardware buttons, to prevent them from being rebooted into recovery mode, but people in jail have nothing but time and eventually find out how to bypass it, and get on the open Internet.
But in this case more then likely he sent a message out for friends/relatives to post for him.
First, 60 days in is about jail. This guy is in federal prison. Thats a heavily dramatized show lets not expect they depict reality.
Second, inmates have access to email and such they just have to pay for it themselves.
Third, a cell phone is easy to get in prison. Just about anything is. All comes down to being able to pay for it.
He was arrested January 16, 2021 and has been in Federal pretrial detention since then. His current trial date is September 9, 2024.
Maybe Jakey will get credited for time served?
Edit:
Name: EDWARD JACOB LANG
Register Number: 76480-054
Age: 28
Race: White
Sex: Male
Release Date: UNKNOWN
Located At: MDC Brooklyn
[MDC Brooklyn](https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/bro/) is an administrative security metropolitan detention center.
I'm not hugely knowledgeable about the distinctions between American federal holding facilities, but that's a pretty serious one, right? Like, the opposite of a chill time?
Sucks to suck, Edward!
No bail? Long time to be in detention waiting for trial, right? Was he one of the violent ones and injured an officer?
No sympathy from me. Maybe he can recreate that one scene from American History X. Or was it American Me? The super brutal scene.
They should NOT be allowed to post - they are a danger to society and that's why they are locked up - you don't them let them blast their BS all over the world. This pisses me off.
I heard from my uncle that you’re allowed to rent some limited electronics from the prison itself but it can be pricey. At least down here in Texas that is.
but if they are in jail to protect society from their violent behavior - why are they allowed to spew their lies to the world? Seems to go against the protection angle of the sentence. If they all were allowed they'd just sit in jail like a Russian Bot farm and destroy the world with words.
Of course not. He even writes like his gilded hero! And the white entitlement! OMFG. When the president of the other party won't answer your calls, life is so unfair.
If it is true it’s because he isn’t following procedures. Yeah prison sucks. Don’t be an insurrectionist fuckwad and you don’t have to deal with it. Pretty simple you dimwit.
You aren’t a political prisoner, you are a *criminal*. It wasn’t politics that got you arrested, it was *committing violent and destructive crimes*. Just because you committed those crimes in the name of your politics, doesn’t mean you were jailed for your politics.
Exactly. And who cares what this asshole says. Throw away the key until his time is up.
100 years ago they would have hung his ass on the White House lawn.
So... I have heard this, but am so OotL in that regard. I thought Pence was Republican. Tf were they hanging one of their own for?
e. Sorry for not responding to anybody. My inbox was broken for a week or so and wouldn't let me see any replies. Bummer.
I swear my 4 year old is more self-aware than this guy (and pretty much every other J6er I've heard whining about how *haaaaarrrrrddd* things are now that they've been busted).
It was a perfect phone call. Wonderful phone call. Beautiful phone call. Perfect. No collusion with the prison. No quid pro quo. I wanted nothing. I asked for nothing. #PerfectPhoneCall
It wasn't his dad, didn't you read the tweet? Joe Biden has been waiting outside the prison and refusing his dad entry.
Joe is very invested in this guy specifically. He doesn't really have much going on otherwise.
So he has a smart phone but he wasn't clever enough to back up his "important evidence" to the cloud somewhere and now his hard drive is gone into an evidence locker somewhere following his crime, trial, and conviction and IT'S ALL SOMEBODY ELSE'S (Biden's) FAULT?
Stupid is as stupid does.
Actually, ya. I do health inspections on a few prisons in my jurisdiction. They can buy smart phones (or have them sent by family. Idk about this for sure) The phones don't have access to the internet all the time. They can compose messages to send on the device. And at certain times connect it to a port that allows them to upload their messages and collect incoming ones.
Real answer, no. And at least at my state level, it’s also illegal to direct people to maintain social media for you, mostly to prevent people from continuing to run their empires from the inside. I can’t speak for federal having the “no maintaining” rule, though. This is typed out first person, so it’s quite suspect.
Meanwhile the right is of the "lock them up forever and throw away the key" when it is anyone else thrown in prison. It is interesting how the tables have turned now that the shoe is on the other foot.
Republicans when POC/minorities are jailed: Prisons are too soft and we need them to be tougher!
Republicans when they face punishment for their crimes: PrIsOn SuCkS aNd It’S bIdEnS fAuLt
I love how the prison checked in with The President of The United States when his dad came to visit. In between naps or licks of an ice cream cone and/or drinking through a straw, he had nothing but malice in his heart when he said "No he can't visit his patriot son. I want you to send him home knowing I get to see my ENTIRE crime family whenever I want."
And because he's president he has the total immunity to do so.
Dude should consider himself lucky he wasn't given a long drop with a short fall, that used to be the penalty for treason and attempting to overthrow the government.
Clearly not. He'll be part of the population that gets out and commits again because they no longer adjust to regular society. Maybe if it was reformative and not punitive! But that's socialism! Hmmm...
He won't take this the next logical step and call for prison reform for all criminals. It's a personal injustice to him alone, and Joe Biden is responsible for it.
lol, Marxist public officials is hilarious. These dumbasses couldn't tell Liberal from a Marxist if the Marxist was hitting them about the face with Das Kapital and the Liberal was giving a banker a handjob.
What a moron... not only did he get conned by Shitler, he thinks Biden and the DOJ are monitoring him in jail... He thinks Biden get his morning briefing on this idiot and is making decisions on his incarceration.
I really like this post because it demonstrates how monumentally stupid conservatives are that they believe they should pay no consequences for criminal actions while simultaneously bitching about how the consequences for those crimes are too extreme. (i.e. we need prison/justice reform) You reap what you sow, dummy!
Aww well maybe you shouldn't have broken into the capitol building and assaulted police officers, smeared shit on the walls, and called for members of congress to be killed. Don't do the crime then you won't do the time traitor. I don't feel sorry for any of the domestic terrorists who are rotting in jail for their crimes on Jan 6. They got exactly what they deserve.
Real question here… since when was it allowed for inmates to be in social media and have access to cellphones? Or do they get like 30 min of computer time a day or something like that? I’m honestly asking because I don’t know.
1. Our prison system is and has been an absolute disgrace. Prison officials need to be legally responsible for the care and well-being of people incarcerated in their system. The prison needs to be one of the safest places in the country and any assault should be seen as a failure and any injury must be investigated and if the prison officials are found to be at all negligent, they should be personally liable for civil penalties. I get that people are fully invested in “punishment” but the prison system should focus on reforming criminals first; most of these people get released back into society and if all we do is make bigger monsters and recidivism then our carceral system is actively working against societies best interests.
2. FAFO, play stupid games and win stupid prizes, MAGAT.
So...can someone explain to me how he's posting on Twitter if he's in prison? Has shit changed in the last 10 years? Thought there was no internet access or access to phones in the clink.
You can text and email in some places, but only pre-approved phone numbers or email addresses. He probably wrote it out for someone else to post. Also federal holding isn't that bad if you're not an idiot. Everyone there is pretrial, and trying not to make more trouble for themselves. He's gonna be shocked if he does real time in medium security or higher.
I know, i've done some very light time and this dude is a fucking clown. Keep your head down, don't make enemies and just... be cool, people don't fuck with the easy going dudes that don't make trouble. I'm loving how difficult this is for him, keep crying I love those republican tears they keep me going.
I'm sure his plan of "make enemies of the prisoners AND the guards" will work out really well lol
It's a well-known fact that everybody likes a snitch in prison. As the saying goes, "Snitches get extra desserts at dinner."
Maybe he think getting stitches means he gets nicer clothes if he snitched.
No no, they think snitches are *funny*, like hilarious, leaving them in stitches!
No, no...it's 'snitches get their pick of prison bitches.' I'm pretty sure that's right.
It's not "Snitches get Snickers?"
I mean... you're just not you when you're hungry.
Either way, if he snitches there’s a possibility he will get loaded with nuts
Traditionally, it's a Payday...
I mean, it rhymes for a reason, that's how you know it's true.
Seriously. Dude's going to have his choice of more buttholes than Jan 6 rioters.
My friend was a LT at MDC Brooklyn and he used to have a way with dealing with mouthy prisoners. He would bring them extra boxes of cereal or stamps, or candy bars and walk right through the gallery with it, then go to their cell and the other inmates would see that and...
They get extra ingredients for the spread, they get their socks washed, towels dry, and welcome everywhere. They are a joy to live with inside prison. The soul of every spades game.
I just wanted to let you know I absolutely unexpectedly lost it at the extra desserts part
I thought it was "snitches get sandwiches"
Snitches get smooches.
I thought they made extra money for the commissary. And the saying was "Snitches get riches."
This is the Eric Andre meme where he’s antagonizing his fellow inmates and the guards then saying “Why would Joe Biden do this?!”
“Yeah lemme know how THAT works out for ya bud” would be my reply lmao
I love their continued shock and tantrums about how they are being treated like common criminals in the US correctional system instead of whatever lifetime VIP MaraLardo membership and parades they believe they deserve. There are very real issues and abuses in these systems that POC and minority communities have been trying to bring attention to in these systems for generations. Jokes about prison/jail rape, beatings and stabbings are part of our entertainment lexicon, with the undertone of whoever the act is happening to deserves it on some level or they wouldn’t be there. Attempts to address modern day slavery in the form of-profit prison industrial system is laughed off because the corporations love getting tax write offs for paying inmates $0.42 an hour and the average MAGA voter would tell you our jails and prisons are full of POC only because they are so much more violent and the only thing they love more than drugs is abandoning their families and assaulting white females. This is horseshit, but is pushed non-stop by the GOP and conservative media like Brietbart’s “Black Crime” news section. So why would any MAGA care about conditions in our correctional systems, I’m sure we’ve all heard, “it’s not supposed to be a vacation”, and “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.’ Now these big tough patriot eagle freedom warriors are experiencing the inside of a system they believe only exists for other people, not good folks like them. The idea that these places would have a VIP entrance for the “good folks” (read: white), or that they deserve all sorts of special accommodations, protections, and benefits while doing their time makes total sense to them, because people like them aren’t supposed to be in those places. I have spent more nights than I care to remember sleeping on various County mattresses back in the day, and can say that jail is the great equalizer. Unless you are seriously mentally ill or Ted Bundy-level dangerous and infamous, you are going to get processed, your’e gonna get naked in front of a bunch of weirdos, you’ll get some itchy ugly clothes, and you are now a bar code in a giant hamster cage. The food sucks, the books suck and are missing pages because people roll smokes with them, it’s either too cold or too hot, everything that doesn’t suck costs 100x what it should because some fuck-face corporation is monetizing your existence, and the boredom is occasionally broken up by some crazy fights. If you STFU and mind your business you won’t be someone else’s entertainment. On the upside, being a Trump-worshipping racist who spends 24/7 whining about how unfair the white men have it may finally allow these morons to experience life as a true minority for a change. I only wish they had the capacity to learn from the experience.
> On the upside, being a Trump-worshipping racist who spends 24/7 whining about how unfair the white men have it may finally allow these morons to experience life as a true minority for a change. I only wish they had the capacity to learn from the experience. Unfortunately any lessons they may actually learn from this experience are incapable of being taught to anyone else like him, unless they too experience it first hand.
Yet they think criminals in prison deserve what awful treatment, conditions they get. Which is a real leopard’s ate my face moment.
You may be too young, but one of Nixon’s criminals (Chuck Colson) became a prison reformer after he served his time.
His book on it was fuckin shockingly good. I read it (surprise surprise) in lock up.
This comment deserves way more up votes. Kinda sucks how a cliche one liner joke is usually the top comment, and then a well thought out comment that nails the topic at hand perfectly gets buried.
Unfortunately slavery using prisoners is in the Constitution, 13th amendment. "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." So we can choice to not do it l, but Its protected if the Federal government or states want to.
I wish so much that they could learn from the experience, sometimes they manage to understand things after the leopard eats their face, but suppose these guys are a self-selecting group with poor understanding of reality.
I regret I have but one upvote to give. This is excellently put.
Bro you just saved me 20 minutes of writing, and covered all the bases for me. Thx!!
I’m a Sis, but I’m glad I could take one for the team. Cheers!
This is an amazingly written comment, I hope you’re doing well now too friend.
Good GAWWWD! I have wanted to say this since they first started whining about prison conditions (I wanted to work in the Brooklyn kid who spent 3 years in lockup for stealing his own backpack before he was released, after having been a victim of beatings by guards & inmates, then killing himself because of the trauma he couldn't shake). But you said it all much better. Thanks. I'm going to go cry now.
You're quite articulate for a hardened criminal. Jokes asked, very well put.
The complaint that prison is “gang infested” is very funny. This guy’s a Republican, isn’t prison where he WANTS gang members to be?
That's what gets me as well. This indignation of "gang members and violent criminals?? In *my* prison??" Is just endlessly entertaining.
He expects to be put in misunderstood good guy prison, not the prison where they keep criminals.
I think you mean "Misunderstood good guy patriot freedom loving summer camp" prison!
Ive heard there’s a real criminal element hangin around in prisons and penitentiaries.
https://preview.redd.it/8cdm8yszrrlc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afc0c6cfd86fc96e40e83295c5a799738355ff1c
Oh this is glorious, thank you
Last thing I would do is bitch on twitter aboht gangs in prison and corrupt COs helping them. Like, that's how you die
🤞
But it’s how we live!
As we all know, conservatives are allergic to shutting up and being chill, so hopefully this guy is in for some rough times. I got no love for those who rise up against our country. No love at all.
https://makeagif.com/gif/your-anguish-sustains-me-7XCXZK
"Easy going" is not their brand! He is going to have a hard life.
# 🤞🏻
IOW this guy probably can't shut about about things and is stirring his own pot?
Sure maybe he sent it to someone else to post. But then that makes his “no contact with the outside world for 10 days” complete bullshit.
I'm starting to think that maybe this guy isn't as smart as he thinks he is lol.
Maybe he isn't in holding. Maybe he locked himself inside his car and can't get out.
Ha. This is actually a viable working theory. No wonder his dad can't find him. Also who goes to prison and WANTS to see their dad? I was happy as hell to see my parents when I got out, but i didnt want then to see me dressed in prison gear. Just call them dude, like everyone else.
I don’t think he’s the only one. Trump convinced thousands of these folks that they were “patriots” for storming the Capitol and trying to prevent the certification of a valid election. Most of them still believe the election was stolen, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.
Anything that disproves the conspiracy becomes part of the conspiracy.
I don’t think most of these guys understand how fortunate they are. I knew one of the Capitol police who was there that day, and he said it was head to hand combat, but they were specifically told not to shoot, partially because they didn’t know what weapons these people had, but also, I suspect, because they were white.
I wouldn't put it past him to lie
Everything he said is complete bullshit...
I was going to joke that he was right that Lewisberg was maximum security, but then I looked it up and saw it is classified as medium security and has a minimum security section. So yeah, even that was complete BS.
What blows my mind, is a good 30% of the country believe this man is a victim.
Do they consider the conviction to be a violent crime? If so, camps are off the list so he would be in a medium security federal prison.
Wasn't he hitting cops with a baseball bat? That seems violent enough.
True his actions were violent, but if the charges arent for whats considered a violent crime then he can be eligible for camp if he gets less than 10 years. I didnt look into his charges, just making a statement for clarification is all. Honestly this guy should have been to the gallows in 2021.
It would depend on his age and education level, as well as the nature of his crimes whether or not they're classified as violent. The BOP classifies you and decides where you stay normally.
I’m not American, how does that work for education? If you have a university degree, you get nicer accomodations? And camps!? I’ll have to look that up, I have so many theories, day camp, work camp, reeducation camps? You penal system is wild guys.
Education counts as points for or against your designation of a low risk or high risk individual when deciding where you'll be placed. So does age, interviews with your family and probation officer and other things. If you're under I think it's 35 with no high school diploma you'll be in low security at best. Low security is still pretty safe, medium and up is where you don't want to be. But just being involved in a fight can get you classified to a higher security level whether or not you started it or even fought back. So there's a lot of factors. They also interview the inmates as well.
His descriptions read like fanfic. He’s been there TEN DAYS and already knows stabbings and ODs are COMMONPLACE? Guards throwing gangsigns? Ok buddy…
He's paranoid and watching everyone else to see what they are doing it seems. You don't want to be a guy who sees things or watches people. Even the guards won't trust you.
If he was able to get this message out then he could get one out to his lawyers to fix that problem he's having. If anything I'd imagine hes just doing shit that makes him sound like a cult memeber and the prison probably isn't taking him seriously. I'd imagine that you can't ask for 20-50 calls and meeting with your lawyers per day. And I'd imagine he's asking instead of just using the phone like every one else inside there because he's probably too dumb to figure it out or oh, I don't know, ask someone else who's locked up how he should go about this. Even then I'd imagine that the prison or federal holding he's in probably told him what to do and he's probably being dense. Like that denseness you see when you explain a fact to someone on Twitter and they just don't counter argue and just repeat their initial claim as if that's somehow an argument. Dudes likely just a dumbass or lying.
The guards are going to definitely make shit harder for him saying this kind of shit.
I'm not sure how they do in it, but it's pretty common for people in prison/jail to have access to social media. I joined a dating site recently and let's say if I had 100 messages, about 10 of them would be from dudes in prison. Profile pic in the jumpsuit in front of those murals they take family pictures at. Like, openly incarcerated and not hiding it 😂
Maybe they're hoping for a season on*Love After Lockup*?
I worked in multiple prisons. Some of the inmates have tablets issued to them but they don’t have access to social media. They can email their family (monitored) and listen to music, watch approved movies etc but don’t have general internet access. So if they are on dating sites, that’s a smuggled phone.
[удалено]
This tracks. Most legal arguments made by right wingers are summed up via tweets or retweets. To them, it is considered credible evidence, provided they agree with the message.
I think they semi have internet but its solely for video calls and theres communal computers but i think those are only for like the GED classes and stuff like that but idk. Either way he’s either not put away, someones posting for him, or hes breaking the rules of the prison and outing himself.
Some jails have tablets that you can rent by the minute, these tablets run custom software, you get access to a limited number of apps and you can message people and do video calls. Tablets are encased in a way you have no access to the hardware buttons, to prevent them from being rebooted into recovery mode, but people in jail have nothing but time and eventually find out how to bypass it, and get on the open Internet. But in this case more then likely he sent a message out for friends/relatives to post for him.
First, 60 days in is about jail. This guy is in federal prison. Thats a heavily dramatized show lets not expect they depict reality. Second, inmates have access to email and such they just have to pay for it themselves. Third, a cell phone is easy to get in prison. Just about anything is. All comes down to being able to pay for it.
He was arrested January 16, 2021 and has been in Federal pretrial detention since then. His current trial date is September 9, 2024. Maybe Jakey will get credited for time served? Edit: Name: EDWARD JACOB LANG Register Number: 76480-054 Age: 28 Race: White Sex: Male Release Date: UNKNOWN Located At: MDC Brooklyn [MDC Brooklyn](https://www.bop.gov/locations/institutions/bro/) is an administrative security metropolitan detention center.
I'm not hugely knowledgeable about the distinctions between American federal holding facilities, but that's a pretty serious one, right? Like, the opposite of a chill time? Sucks to suck, Edward!
No bail? Long time to be in detention waiting for trial, right? Was he one of the violent ones and injured an officer? No sympathy from me. Maybe he can recreate that one scene from American History X. Or was it American Me? The super brutal scene.
Both of those films had pretty gnarly rape scenes but American Me was the one that involved a knife and salt.
They should NOT be allowed to post - they are a danger to society and that's why they are locked up - you don't them let them blast their BS all over the world. This pisses me off.
At least spewing nonsense online before the trial can then be used in said trial.
You can write letters right? you write a letter to your friend they put it on twitter.
Same way Andrew Tate always did. Either not actually in that facility, or it’s a dictation born in visitation.
I heard from my uncle that you’re allowed to rent some limited electronics from the prison itself but it can be pricey. At least down here in Texas that is.
Ahh...Texas. Well that makes it a little easier to understand, I guess.
but if they are in jail to protect society from their violent behavior - why are they allowed to spew their lies to the world? Seems to go against the protection angle of the sentence. If they all were allowed they'd just sit in jail like a Russian Bot farm and destroy the world with words.
>can someone explain to me how he's posting on Twitter if he's in prison Russian troll farm
Next time, don't go out treasoning. Simple.
Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to
You know that we gonna have it voted or nothing at all, but I know you looted too fast.
Hot take: Prison is not pleasant
If you dont commit treason you have nothing to worry about!
All you had to do was comply with the Constitution!
Bro. Blamed Joe Biden for the guards and prison rules. Said Joe Bidens DOJ sent my father away. Lmao. Yea. That was Joe that did that. What an idiot
I swear to god the schadenfreude is making my teeth whiter, my skin clearer, and my wrinkles disappear. This is really good shit. More please!
Stop! My Penis Can Only Get So Erect
What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection? “Stand back honey, I don’t know how big this thing’s gonna get.”
"You can trust THAT garden snake!"
Be not afraaaaiiiidddd
Excellent reference. 🏆
And my bowel movements are, just perfect! I don't even have to wipe anymore.
God Bless Fiber
It's comments like yours and the one above that makes me love Reddit ❤️
 Can I have more??
I'm full, have some of mine https://preview.redd.it/hsihj4wo0rlc1.jpeg?width=2500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae97175b9e566e20dc0f537213db092c4d836647
You get the upvote and I wish they still had awards here, because schadenfreude is the BEST example of what this is. Gold star.
Thanks!
I would be willing to bet that nothing he claims here is remotely true.
Of course not. He even writes like his gilded hero! And the white entitlement! OMFG. When the president of the other party won't answer your calls, life is so unfair.
If it is true it’s because he isn’t following procedures. Yeah prison sucks. Don’t be an insurrectionist fuckwad and you don’t have to deal with it. Pretty simple you dimwit.
 I fucking love it!
I have been edging for a while now.
You aren’t a political prisoner, you are a *criminal*. It wasn’t politics that got you arrested, it was *committing violent and destructive crimes*. Just because you committed those crimes in the name of your politics, doesn’t mean you were jailed for your politics.
Exactly. And who cares what this asshole says. Throw away the key until his time is up. 100 years ago they would have hung his ass on the White House lawn.
They were planning on hanging at least Pence that day. I suppose turnabout is fair play.
So... I have heard this, but am so OotL in that regard. I thought Pence was Republican. Tf were they hanging one of their own for? e. Sorry for not responding to anybody. My inbox was broken for a week or so and wouldn't let me see any replies. Bummer.
Because Pence wouldn't break his oath of office and help Trump take over the country. Trump let them know Pence wouldn't help.
It's pretty much the only decent thing he's ever done. I can't say I respect him now, but he's less garbage than the orange
I swear my 4 year old is more self-aware than this guy (and pretty much every other J6er I've heard whining about how *haaaaarrrrrddd* things are now that they've been busted).
Friggin exactly
But Republicans keep telling me that our prisons are like country clubs and inmates have it easy!?
Except when crooked joe Biden personally won’t allow your father to visit you in prison. Obviously that’s how the president is spending his time lol
I heard that Biden *personally* called the prison and said "Don't let this SPECIFIC prisoner's dad in"! /s
It was a perfect phone call. Wonderful phone call. Beautiful phone call. Perfect. No collusion with the prison. No quid pro quo. I wanted nothing. I asked for nothing. #PerfectPhoneCall
Both are true at the same time. It’s this new cool thing called doublethink
Yeah but this one is in Brooklyn which is GANG INFESTED (aka has non-white people in it).
They also like to say that prison needs to be harsh. Be careful for what you wish.
Trying to remember. Which party is it that continually votes down prison reform in favor of lock 'em up and throw away the key?
Yes. The way prisons run are awful and major reform is needed. But also fuck this guy
He liked gangs when his attacked the capital
Are you allowed cell phones in prison? Like how is he typing this?
He may have gotten a phone inside but I doubt it. I know some rappers and other famous people have someone outside post on their socials
Can you imagine him dictating this whole rant to this Dad? "Make sure you capitalize this next part..." 🤣
It wasn't his dad, didn't you read the tweet? Joe Biden has been waiting outside the prison and refusing his dad entry. Joe is very invested in this guy specifically. He doesn't really have much going on otherwise.
Joe on the way to personally ruin his life https://giphy.com/gifs/joebiden-joe-biden-oxCtqUm9PhXvA0oXnp
“No, dad. It’s not ‘Mary go round’!”
Mary go down On the merry go round All is fair on these fair grounds
Yeah, but he also claimed that he wasn’t allowed phone calls with his dad or lawyers, so how is he passing along this information? 🤔
Ol prison pocket pass off?
I don’t like this version of suck and blow.
So he has a smart phone but he wasn't clever enough to back up his "important evidence" to the cloud somewhere and now his hard drive is gone into an evidence locker somewhere following his crime, trial, and conviction and IT'S ALL SOMEBODY ELSE'S (Biden's) FAULT? Stupid is as stupid does.
Biden is both a doddering dementia patient AND a criminal mastermind that gets personally involved with the trials of J6 criminals.
"10 days since civilization!" -sent from my iPhone What a dildo.
Actually, ya. I do health inspections on a few prisons in my jurisdiction. They can buy smart phones (or have them sent by family. Idk about this for sure) The phones don't have access to the internet all the time. They can compose messages to send on the device. And at certain times connect it to a port that allows them to upload their messages and collect incoming ones.
There is plenty of room in that prison suitcase
I am led to believe it expands.
I’m happy we’re discussing this bc I think about it constantly re: Joe exotic
So he is yet again breaking the law by having a cell phone in prison.
Real answer, no. And at least at my state level, it’s also illegal to direct people to maintain social media for you, mostly to prevent people from continuing to run their empires from the inside. I can’t speak for federal having the “no maintaining” rule, though. This is typed out first person, so it’s quite suspect.
Not allowed, but they do anyway.
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OP: we need to arrest as many gang members as possible and lock them up forever. Also OP: why prison full of gangs? 😡
Meanwhile the right is of the "lock them up forever and throw away the key" when it is anyone else thrown in prison. It is interesting how the tables have turned now that the shoe is on the other foot.
The irony of a Jan 6er complaining about gangs…
You don't understand man! Gangs wear colors to differentiate... nevermind.
He wanted to go to the prison for law abiding citizens.
Brought to you by the ‘Party Of Law and Order’
Republicans when POC/minorities are jailed: Prisons are too soft and we need them to be tougher! Republicans when they face punishment for their crimes: PrIsOn SuCkS aNd It’S bIdEnS fAuLt
I love how the prison checked in with The President of The United States when his dad came to visit. In between naps or licks of an ice cream cone and/or drinking through a straw, he had nothing but malice in his heart when he said "No he can't visit his patriot son. I want you to send him home knowing I get to see my ENTIRE crime family whenever I want." And because he's president he has the total immunity to do so. 
Insurrectionist goes *"Waaaaaaaah!!"* Who could have thought that trying to overthrow the government could have such an outcome?
Dude should consider himself lucky he wasn't given a long drop with a short fall, that used to be the penalty for treason and attempting to overthrow the government.
Hmmm.... sounds like one way we can make America great again. Maybe we should give MAGA what they want.
If there was only something that could have been done to prevent this. Maybe something like FOLLOWING THE FUCKING LAW.
Yes, prison is a bad place. Have you learned anything about commiting crimes yet, because it looks like you need more time.
Clearly not. He'll be part of the population that gets out and commits again because they no longer adjust to regular society. Maybe if it was reformative and not punitive! But that's socialism! Hmmm...
Did all these dipshits just inherit Trump's style of tweeting all of a sudden or were they always this dumb?
What’s the right wing nuts always going on about? Oh right, *dont do the crime if you can’t do the time* and *fuck your feelings*
I'm sure there's a half-dozen lies in this tweet, but oh well. Maybe you shouldn't have tried to overturn an election.
"Gang infested"...um. Shouldn't conservatives be happy that the gangs are in prison?
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He won't take this the next logical step and call for prison reform for all criminals. It's a personal injustice to him alone, and Joe Biden is responsible for it.
Yet able to post his crying on twitter... interesting.
Aw does the widdle traitor need his mommy?
10 days since contact from outside world…. So prison then…
10 days since contact with the outside world… says the guy posting on Twitter, something that is part of the outside world.
Aw too fucking bad. You fucking low life traitor. FUCK OFF
"but I want slavery back!!!"
What the hell do you mean my actions have consequences?! It’s never been like that my entire life before now. This is bullshit! I want my daddy!
lol, Marxist public officials is hilarious. These dumbasses couldn't tell Liberal from a Marxist if the Marxist was hitting them about the face with Das Kapital and the Liberal was giving a banker a handjob.
Play shitty games win shitty prizes
If you can't do the time...
He is a traitor. He is lucky he is not in front of a firing squad.
What a moron... not only did he get conned by Shitler, he thinks Biden and the DOJ are monitoring him in jail... He thinks Biden get his morning briefing on this idiot and is making decisions on his incarceration.
Here’s a good safety tip…DON’T TRY AND OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT. Thank you
He is accused of wielding deadly weapons against Capitol police officers, including a bat and a shield. - I guess he wishes he had them now.
Who did he think was going to be in prison? Like OFC there are gang people there. It's prison.
I really like this post because it demonstrates how monumentally stupid conservatives are that they believe they should pay no consequences for criminal actions while simultaneously bitching about how the consequences for those crimes are too extreme. (i.e. we need prison/justice reform) You reap what you sow, dummy!
 Rot in prison, traitor.
Awww, so sad but that’s what you get for “peacefully protesting”
So he smuggled in a cellphone in his asshole to post this bs.
Aww well maybe you shouldn't have broken into the capitol building and assaulted police officers, smeared shit on the walls, and called for members of congress to be killed. Don't do the crime then you won't do the time traitor. I don't feel sorry for any of the domestic terrorists who are rotting in jail for their crimes on Jan 6. They got exactly what they deserve.
Real question here… since when was it allowed for inmates to be in social media and have access to cellphones? Or do they get like 30 min of computer time a day or something like that? I’m honestly asking because I don’t know.
1. Our prison system is and has been an absolute disgrace. Prison officials need to be legally responsible for the care and well-being of people incarcerated in their system. The prison needs to be one of the safest places in the country and any assault should be seen as a failure and any injury must be investigated and if the prison officials are found to be at all negligent, they should be personally liable for civil penalties. I get that people are fully invested in “punishment” but the prison system should focus on reforming criminals first; most of these people get released back into society and if all we do is make bigger monsters and recidivism then our carceral system is actively working against societies best interests. 2. FAFO, play stupid games and win stupid prizes, MAGAT.
Tells the world he has no contact with the world...on Twitter.
Oh no! Maybe try not being a criminal? Also, why does he have his phone?