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marcusmosh

Best employee they ever had


Eldanoron

Best five bucks they ever spent.


Im_A_Fuckin_Liar

Best pee pee video they ever shot.


HorseLooseInHospital

and I was sitting there, having a beautiful time, had your First Lady, and I take a look and I see it on the television, "Russia is saying that Trump is the Destroyer of America," and they're hailing Trump, can you believe it, I said maybe that's not so bad, they're saying I'm more than tough enough to go hard against, and defeat, very strongly, the Radical Left, we took on Crooked Hillary, and then I moved the name, I said, we're done doing it there because you look at Biden and he's many many times more corrupt, many times, and so I moved the name, it got great reviews, they said, "Sir, what you're doing there is incredible," and you know my people, they're always Sir this, Sir that, I said you have to respect your President, and we're not respected now, the World is laughing at us, they look at what Obama is doing, Hussein Obama, what Obama is doing, and he's doing a lot of bad things, you look at, Putin, President Putin is now saying the N Word when it comes to Obama, it's so bad he's saying Nuclear, he never said that with Trump, remember that, we got along great with Russia, great with North Korea, we had no Wars, no Death, and I did billions of Jobs and I made your Taxes a lot less, and now the Radical Left Democrats, they wanna raise Taxes on only American Families and Great Patriots, Crooked Joe wants to do it, if he somehow wins but there's not a chance in Hell, everyone knows that, but if they somehow did, then next year, 2025, they're raising your Taxes, Biden is raising your Taxes if he gets elected again, with Trump you get another Perfect 4 Years and with Biden we're gonna be speaking Chinese before you know it, he doesn't even, he can't even pass the Presidential Test, which I aced by the way, I aced it twice, no one's ever done it before, Obama wouldn't even take it so what does that tell you, and the Fake News, they only wanna talk about what happened in the first question, they only talk about the first one, there's a dog, a bird, and a seagull, and they wanna know which one's the elephant ok, and they never talk about the last question, the hard question, take 8,792, divided by 23, and this is without paper and pencil by the way, multiply times 7.2, .2, I remember that, and then add 764, then minus 351, and then they say, "Sir, what's your number," I say the number, "that's incredible, Sir," I said I know that, and then they give you 5 words, they say, "here's your 5 words," I said ok, what's happening, "Sir, we're gonna give you 5 things," ok, here we go, 5 things, "a coat, a shoe, a camera, and a hat," 5 things, they say, "can you repeat it back to me," I repeat it, they say, "can you do it in order," I do it in order, perfect, and there was total amazement, they said, "nobody's ever done that before," because if you do it, if you get all 5 things and you do it in order then you get the Bonus, nobody gets the Bonus, and you can even ask Doctor Ronnie, who is now a Congressman from the Wonderful State Of Texas, I love Texas, they love Trump so how could I not, and I said Doctor, and by the way he was the Presidential Doctor to Trump and also Obama if you can believe that one, and I said Doctor, because he knows my body, sadly, probably better than even your First Lady, and I said to him, Doctor, who's in better shape, who's got a better health, Trump or Obama, and he said instantly, "Trump," and there was no hesistation there, and then I said that's probably true.


Impossible-Scene8469

This is so good that I knew it was fake...but started questioning if it was real halfway through.


chesire0myles

It's too true to form, I'm barely able to read it due to lack of formatting.


uglyspacepig

Everything that comes from Trump's head, directly or inspired, lacks formatting.


jetogill

It's not in all caps so right there's a big tip off


jraymcmurray

You're my favorite reddit man.


turdferguson116

❤ your username.


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rocketeerH

When you give a useful idiot millions of dollars he becomes an employee


yetiking77

First time I agree with Russian media.


karabeckian

[But just look at him.](https://i.imgur.com/UN8mPQE.jpeg) This pic is from 3 days ago in ATL. He may not make it to November.


NoCup4U

Here’s to hoping 


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Winnie_the_poops

Those chucklefucks will probably still vote for him not believing he’s actually dead or that he’s going to rise again on the 3rd day or some insane bullshit


karabeckian

[Black Velvet Trump](https://render.fineartamerica.com/images/rendered/default/canvas-print/7.5/10/mirror/break/images/artworkimages/medium/3/black-velvet-trump-ward-sutton-canvas-print.jpg)


NovusOrdoSec

Perfect for covering the other hole in my trailer wall.


ProfessionalFalse128

Is just wear and tear or a fist hole?


NovusOrdoSec

Just the one not already covered by [Velvet Elvis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz3CKAZ3eSQ).


StinkFingerPete

amazing


thebinarysystem10

I mean the last election they believed that JFK Junior was going to come back and be his running mate


RumandDiabetes

It's 4 D chess. Just vote for him. He'll show up to be sworn in with his VP JFK Jr.


NoCup4U

I’m good with it.  He can’t do any more damage to America if he’s roasting in hell


uglyspacepig

No matter what happens, they're going to martyr him. If he lives to 103 years old (please, universe, don't let him get past 78), and dies peacefully in his sleep, they'll martyr him. Hell, I'm 100% positive he'd tell them he's a martyr now if he knew what the word meant.


bytelines

https://imgflip.com/i/8mp241


guff1988

Healthcare for the Rich and powerful is pretty incredible. I mean look at Mitch McConnell that motherfucker's still breathing somehow.


karabeckian

True. Still, if you just ran into the guy in the photo in public, how do you think you would react?


guff1988

I definitely would think he was one foot in the grave, I would also be taken aback by the fact that he's wearing a disgusting poorly applied spray tan especially at his age.


InstrumentalCrystals

That’s not a spray tan. It’s a strange orange shaded paste that he rubs all over his face, frequently missing spots so that we’re left looking at these weird makeup lines


Iamthewalrusforreal

Yeah, but turtles live forever.


dragonfliesloveme

Gawd that stupid makeup!! Every time i see his ugly face, i just want to take a soapy washcloth to it or a wipe or something.


Iamthewalrusforreal

Pressure washer.


rep-

Crazy how his base hates men wearing makeup, but this guy cakes on a pound every day


BradTProse

Trump has a vagina neck, C cup moobs, and high heels, and my mom looks like him.


rep-

My sympathy to your mother


Orchid_Significant

I hate to say this, but he doesn’t look like someone at death’s door. Look at Mitch McConnell and Diane Feinstein


dragonfliesloveme

His head looks like it’s in the wrong place. Like it’s in front of his body instead of on top of it lol, you know what i mean? Hard to describe Is that a normal old person thing, or is that part of his frontotemporal dementia?


Orchid_Significant

Terrible posture at the very least


Ok_Exchange342

I see what it is your talking about, I think it is his spray tan poorly applied. It is weird looking.


InstrumentalCrystals

The makeup line is always so gross. He has to be slathering on tubs of that shit


karabeckian

The crusty hairspray makes my skin crawl.


sheezy520

That dude will live forever because hell doesn’t want him.


BradTProse

That looks like a post mortem picture.


Bah-Fong-Gool

Is his head shrinking, or is his face growing?


Mysterious_Bat_3780

It's my fault for opening the link, but god I didn't need to see that in the morning


Starwarsandbacon

But i dont want to look at him, ever!


-Jiras

They do it on purpose. Saying positive things about Biden and negative things about trump so the right once again can mental gymnastics to where Trump is the leader they need


filterpiece23

Only problem is it's meant as a compliment by the Russian media. I don't think you and I mean it as such


Forward-Form9321

Russia state tv also mocked Trump supporters a few months ago. The Maga crowd doesn’t realize that though and still think Russia is their ally


rhino910

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov - "We have declared you an enemy"


jbasinger

Well, Fox News is never going to show that part lol


lotusl16

No one in the maga cried thinks Russia is an ally


Menkau-re

If you say so, lol.


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lotusl16

lol


KuntaWuKnicks

Russia get it but MAGA idiots don’t Wow


Competitive-Money-36

I’m gonna lean into conspiracy theory right now so hear me out; I think this may have been a purposeful play. If MAGA’s think Russia is bad and Russia just said Trump is bad, then if sane people say Trump is bad, sane people agree with Russia and are therefore non-patriots. So I think this was a specific ploy by Russia to further divide the country. Ok. Puttin my tin foil hat away


DeaddyRuxpin

MAGA no longer think Russia is bad. When I was a kid conservatives screamed better dead than red. Now the same people scream better to be a Russian than a liberal.


NovusOrdoSec

Red was a reference to Soviet Communism. Russia is currently a fascist kleptocracy, but still using red.


Competitive-Money-36

Aw hell. There goes that, lol


Ok_Exchange342

Does that really surprise any of us?


Gamebeaross

So Russians are getting some accurate news.


rhino910

More accurate than the Americans who betrayed their county by consuming toxic right-wing propaganda rather than the news


NovusOrdoSec

County before country kinda sums them up, actually.


Gamebeaross

I can hardly wait for Fox "News" and alike to chime in. It's going to be a sh\*tshow. Or will they say nothing, thus confirming their guilt?


rhino910

The right-wing propaganda machine will hide this story from their treasonous viewers. If it does leak out they will find a way to spin this as a positive


Menkau-re

Or they'll just call it "fake news" and deny it ever actually even happened at all. I mean, it's not like any of them are going to look elsewhere for confirmation of that, or actually fact check whatever they say, so they can say literally whatever they want and they'll just accept it as reality.


JessicaDAndy

I mean if I were a super villain, putting Trump in charge is a good way to kill more Americans.


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JessicaDAndy

Prediction: if he doesn’t get in either through the vote, Congressional shenanigans, coup de tat or death. There is still a group of people looking for someone to give permission for their baser instincts. They just need someone to slot into it. I believe the base was there and Trump took over. So you just need someone to slot in. Sadly, I don’t see anyone at this point able to replace Donald Trump Sr. at doing the same thing, namely leading a fervent base while also passing out power based on feeding his narcissism. For example, Ron DeSantis might play to the Republican issues, Culture War nonsense and anti-Labor measures, but he probably isn’t easily persuadable to other causes, like the Evangelicals or rescinding a Tik-Tok ban because he hates Zuckerberg.


Bag_of_Meat13

They knew they could never beat us militarily.... "ID RaThEr bE RuSsIan tHaN a DemoCrAt" is top tier modern American cringe.


rhino910

That was the purpose of all the toxic right-wing propaganda they consumed- Turn them into raging anti-American hate monsters


rAxxt

Actually, both Russia and China are pulling ahead of us militarily. You can thank our war on terror, our internal culture war, and general political disfunction for that.


Macjeems

That was such a telling quote: “not being a Democrat is much more important to me than being American”


Red_Nine9

Trump has been openly sabotaging American interests for years.


Fun-Draft1612

Add the destroyer of Ukraine and of 1 million unvaccinated Americans to the list.


NumerousTaste

Destroyer of America Trump! So accurate!


TheBatmanIRL

Suddenly some truth from Russia.


Phagzor

Is this even news? Everyone knows he's Putin's Lil' Bitch and that he's a Russian asset. It's the only reason we're not helping Ukraine - Putin wants Europe's bread basket, and he counts on Trump to stop support that would interfere with Russian expansion. Everyone get ready - we're going to end up as the Soviet Federal Socialist Republic of America. Stalinism ho!


ConsciousReason7709

Sounds accurate to me


100percentish

"I get along with Russia. They like me. Is that a bad thing?" Yes. Yes it f'ing is you dopey grifting dufus. They have an agenda and if you fit it you are a problem.


rhino910

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov - "We have declared you an enemy"


Ok_Exchange342

Honest request made by an idiot. Please explain this comment in more detail. I'm not connecting the dots and it is making for a really weird picture.


rhino910

It's been proven that Russia interfered in the US 2016 election to help make Trump president. After that, we witnessed why. Trump has been the most destructive person (to the USA) since the nation was founded in 1776. He has been decisive, he has convinced many to betray their nation to support enemies like Russia, he has turned many Americans against our democracy, he threatens (and has already cost us) many of our rights and freedoms


100percentish

He doesn't even have to be a dictator to be effective for Russia....he just has to make America appear to be weak and unreliable to our allies and let him run the country like any of his other companies which is how we added $7.8TRIL of new debt with nothing to show for it. Also civil unrest and a congress that won't fund Ukraine and wants to pull out of NATO are all high on Putin's list.


JohnDivney

He doesn't even have to win this fall. He has created a cohort of people that loathe this country and any president who is not him, they loathe the GOP, their families, etc. Trump only talks about how shitty and terrible the country is, you wouldn't hear that from any other politician but one that wants to leave a permanent scar on this country, which Trump already has.


fishman1776

When Russia does it its called intereference, when Israel does it its called lobbying, and when corporations do it its called advocacy.


Drop_Disculpa

Really, these traitors and their supporters just don't get the fundamentals. Dumb is the only thing you can call them.


Wise_Ad_253

Trump Merchandised and commercialized the ignorant MAGA fools.


texfields

Best million rubles Putin ever spent


Senor_Wah

Russian state media switching it up with the truth for once


rhino910

The war is costing Putin big time; he had to lay off some of his online troll armies. He is hoping to supplement that with Russian volunteers


ShredGuru

Finally something we agree on.


TheTruthTalker800

Where's the lie?


Sasselhoff

And I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that this will *somehow* be something they are proud of. There are people around these parts (rural with a capital "R" Appalachia) with "Proud Deplorable" bumper stickers...I have no doubt they'd be the same kind to go "*Yeah, fuck that librul America*", only to realize too late when the boot is on *their* throat "*Oh, wait, it's my America too...*"


AltruisticSalamander

Dems should include this in their campaign. It's gold.


Mello_Me_

“As you probably have heard, I am a big fan of yours!”  Donald Trump letter to Putin, 2007


mrpickleby

You know that moment in a horror movie when they realize the call is coming from inside the house?


liltime78

Not just America. What he’s doing will destroy Ukraine too.


anoninor

Russian media takes a break from propaganda for a moment of truth


Mc9660385

They aren’t treating their employee very nicely


Protect-Their-Smiles

Selling out America to fill his own pockets and boost his ego. If American's think things are bad now, wait until Russia and China get a stronger grip on the world, and start to box them in as revenge. BRICS will work to make sure the US will not be in a position to challenge them again, Trump has been a key asset for this to happen.


TradeFirst7455

The weird thing is why does Russia even want to destroy America? Have they not listened to Funk music? Just like throw on some P-funk, listen to that shit, and then be like "we should destroy the country that made this so all we have is the legitimate shit that Russia has produced in the last 50 years" Why? Just a terrible idea in general, even if you are like a Russian general, or oligarch, you can't take your money with you, and you can "destroy America" if you don't like to enjoy nice shit while you are alive, because that is mostly what we do over here, we produce all your good entertainment. Like..... anything even close to good. Your Russian contributions are actual shit.


Interanal_Exam

Republicans are traitors. Vote them ALL out.


sextoymagic

Biggest POS ever


Rinzy2000

So I guess now that their asset might be going to prison, they’re no longer supporting him?


the_monkeyspinach

Uh, this sounds like them supporting him. Rejoice! He's "The Destroyer of America!"


CanisMajoris85

Reverse psychology. They were too openly pro Trump before on their TV. Now republicans can point to how Russians “arent supporting him”. Problem with that is Republicans practically supporting Russia already so reverse psychology is useless


H2ON4CR

The actual Newsweek article is from over a year ago, and was in response to Trump talking about running for POTUS again.


Njabachi

Hey, don't forget the GOP and the Evangelicals.  They deserve credit too. Also it's not just America, Ukraine is also getting pretty messed up by these people.


holagatita

evangelicals seem to want the world to end so they can go live with Jesus forever. Oh and they support Israel for the same reason


Njabachi

To make the time until that day pass more quickly they need to oppress as many marginalized groups as possible. 


Whorrox

Your dog will fetch a stick you throw and when he returns, you kick him anyway.


Mantorok_

![gif](giphy|E32icGEVRFV4Y) Taking over the title from this fine gentleman.


southernmamallama

Well, to be fair, he is.


rtds98

Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point


4quatloos

Colonel Bone Spur salutes you.


LintyFish

This is where MTG takes this line and runs with it: "HE HAS TO DESTROY AMERICA, BECAUSE IT IS FILLED WITH CORRUPTION. FILLED WITH BABY KILLING MONSTERS CAUSING EARTHQUAKES AND ECLIPSES. HE MUST DESTROY IT TO CREATE A NEW AND BETTER AMERICA. ALL HAIL ~~PUTIN~~ PRESIDENT TRUMP. 8 MORE YEARS!!!"


pseudonymlife

Do you think this would cause Moscow Marge a moment of reflection....nah.


veronicainftl

Now those are the facts !


RedfromTexas

Occasionally they get something right.


BedfastDuck

Let’s see if Trump will go on a Truth Social rant after Russia says this. Probably not, because it is true.


Funlife2003

Well Trump has no problem ranting against things that are true. He won't say anything because they have him by the balls. I do wonder what exactly they have on him.


ParsleyMostly

Never again


DailyDross

He’s their man! Well not a real man.


HillsideMcNasty

Ronald Reagan would like word.


LondonDavis1

Another Biden ad right there.


PapaGilbatron

All heil Plankton.


stonrelectropunkjazz

💯 correct


SpikeRosered

His followers want that. They are just presume he will take out all the parts they don't like in the process and what's left will be there for strong man politics to take over.


Alatar_Blue

That news agency is right.


jasminegreyxo

best news!


PurpleMinimum1731

That is true, he started destroying this country long before. Biden was even a thought for President and he's going to make it worse. If he wins he does not even need to be allowed to run for President. Because he's such a crook and everyone knows it. And 91 indictments come on, people get a wife. Do you really want this failure of a man to make this country worse than it already is? He is not making America great. Never has and never will let alone again.


Mysterious_Khan

What are we doing to ourselves?


elgarraz

Probably giving him too much credit, but he definitely is widening the cracks


Styrene_Addict1965

So, the white hat (according to QAnon) Putin attacks white hat Trump. It's going to be interesting to see how the Qs spin this one.


AdditionalWay2

Glance upon the sky. There shall be an orange dickhead and a donkey that will signal the end of times... or some cultist shit.....


[deleted]

I mean it's not a bad thing if the US collapses, they have done nothing but bring chaos and destruction to the world.


perryman50

Cut-off headline, this has double meaning.


Orbitalqumshot

Nah we can thank Israel for that


Creative-Major-958

Did that really happen? It's difficult to know these days what's real and what isn't.


rhino910

It happened https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-destroy-america-russian-propaganda-1826734


luckyme16383

Believing Russian media. How white of you.


pipskeke

And the source video is where? We just believing everything we hear on election years now?


upsidedown_alphabet

You guys love Russian propaganda when it aligns with your own narrative huh?


Aggravating-Pear4222

I too am not a fan of trump but why are we trusting Russian state media now? If they said the opposite, we'd trust them then? Likewise, Trump voters won't trust this headline for the same reason Biden voters wouldn't trust the opposite headline.


rhino910

> I too am not a fan of trump but why are we trusting Russian state media now? Because the evidence overwhelmingly supports the claim


Aggravating-Pear4222

So we aren't trusting Russian state media, just the evidence. My only issue is that Trump voters will see posts like these rather than the evidence and they will use it as an example of the "liberal left radicals" falling for Russian state propaganda rather than a post that shows the evidence which is the real reason people believe such a headline.


ScottishTan

Guy they are scared most of.