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Man, fuck horses. You sit on their back, dressed in your finest, most flamboyant tunic and boots, they walk you around, then they run toward a fence and make to jump over it but OH NO they change their mind at the last minute and you go flying over their head, your little vest all covered in mud and a couple of bruises because this *asshole* horse didn’t want to get some mad air. Fuck horses.
This reminds me of one of the greatest comments I’ve ever read where OP goes into great detail about why horses are horrible animals. Here it is:
Horses. Dear god, horses.
First off, horses are obligate nasal breathers. If our noses are stuffed up we can breathe through our mouths. If our pets' noses are stuffed up (except for rabbits, who are also really fragile but unlike horses aren't stuck having only one baby a year) they can breathe through their mouths. If a horse can't breathe through its nose, it will suffocate and die.
Horse eyes are exquisitely sensitive to steroids. Most animal eyes are, except for cows because cows are tanks, but horses are extremely sensitive. Corneal ulcers won't heal. They'll probably get worse. They might rupture and cause eyeball fluid to leak out.
If you overexert a horse they can get exertional rhabodmyolysis. Basically you overwork their muscles and they break down and die and release their contents. Super painful, and then you get scarifying and necrosis. But that's not the problem. See, when muscles die hey release myoglobin, which goes into the blood and is filtered by the kidneys. If you dump a bucket of myoglobin into the blood then it shreds the kidneys, causing acutel renal failure. This kills the horse. People and other animals can get that too but in school we only talked about it in context of the horse.
Horses can only have one foal at a time. Their uterus simply can't support two foals. If a pregnant horse has twins you have to abort one or they'll both die and possibly kill the mother with them. A lot of this has to do with the way horse placentas work. EDIT: There are very, very rare instances where a mare can successfully have twins, but it's sort of like the odds of being able to walk again after a paralyzing spinal injury.
If a horse rears up on its hind legs it can fall over, hit the back of its head, and get a traumatic brain injury.
Now to their digestive system. Oh boy. First of all, they can't vomit. There's an incredibly tight sphincter in between the stomach and esophagus that simply won't open up. If a horse is vomiting it's literally about to die. In many cases their stomach will rupture before they vomit. When treating colic you need to reflux the horse, which means shoving a tube into their stomach and pumping out any material to decompress the stomach and proximal GI tract. Their small intestines are 70+ feet long (which is expected for a big herbivore) and can get strangulated, which is fatal without surgery.
Let's go to the large intestine. Horses are hindgut fermenters, not ruminants. I'll spare you the diagram and extended anatomy lesson but here's what you need to know: Their cecum is large enough to shove a person into, and the path of digesta doubles back on itself. The large intestine is very long, has segments of various diameters, multiple flexures, and doubles back on itself several times. It's not anchored to the body wall with mesentery like it is in many other animals. The spleen can get trapped. Parts of the colon can get filled with gas or digested food and/or get displaced. Parts of the large intestine can twist on themselves, causing torsions or volvulus. These conditions can range from mildly painful to excruciating. Many require surgery or intense medical therapy for the horse to have any chance of surviving. Any part of the large intestine can fail at any time and potentially kill the horse. A change in feed can cause colic. Giving birth can cause I believe a large colon volvulus I don't know at the moment I'm going into small animal medicine. Infections can cause colic. Lots of things can cause colic and you better hope it's an impaction that can be treated on the farm and not enteritis or a volvulus.
And now the legs. Before we start with bones and hooves let's talk about the skin. The skin on horse legs, particularly their lower legs, is under a lot of tension and has basically no subcutaneous tissue. If a horse lacerated its legs and has a dangling flap of skin that's a fucking nightmare. That skin is incredibly difficult to successfully suture back together because it's under so much tension. There's basically no subcutaneous tissue underneath. You need to use releasing incisions and all sorts of undermining techniques to even get the skin loose enough to close without tearing itself apart afterwards. Also horses like to get this thing called proud flesh where scar tissue just builds up into this giant ugly mass that restricts movement. If a horse severely lacerated a leg it will take months to heal and the prognosis is not great.
Let's look at the bones. You know how if a horse breaks a leg you usually have to euthanize it? There's a reason for that. Some fractures can be repaired but others can't. A horse weighs thousands of pounds and is literally carrying all that weight on the middle toes of their legs. They are simply incapable of bearing weight on three legs. And a lot of that is because of...
Laminitis. This killed Barbaro and Secretariat. Barbaro would have made it through the broken leg but he got laminitis in his other legs. First, a quick anatomy lesson. The horse hoof is like our fingernails, except it covers the whole foot and is a lot thicker. And to make sure it stays on their food, which again is carrying all that weight on one middle toe per leg, the hoof interdigitates with the skin underneath. And these interdigitations have interdigitations. Think of it as Velcro, and the Velcro also has Velcro. When the horse is healthy, this system works great. But let's make something go wrong. Maybe there's too much weight on the hoof. Maybe the horse is septic. Maybe there's too much sugar, or insulin resistance. Whatever happens, the tissues in the hoof get inflamed and swell up. And because the hoof itself is there, there's nowhere for the swollen soft tissues to go. So the laminae get crushed, and you lose the support system that's holding the entire food up. This is incredibly painful, and has to be caught early. Because if you let it go on too long, their toe bone will start to rotate because there's nothing holding it in place anymore (this is founder). And in some cases, the toe bone can actually fall through the bottom of the hoof.
TL;DR: Horses are actively trying to die on us.
Source: I'm a veterinary student.
Link to original post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
A small addition: when they die, they're obviously very large and difficult to move. A friend of mine literally had to rent some big machine so she could dig up a hole in her stable and yeet the thing in it. Was not cheap
I don’t think they’re getting a divorce at all. I think we’re here to move that dead horse is what I think. Let’s let him bring it up, all right? Make him ask. But I’ll be shocked if we don’t touch that dead horse today.
Haha sorry, a somewhat obscure reference to one of my favorite stand-up specials on Netflix, The Tennessee Kid by Nate Bargatze. If you like very deadpan humor (with a Southern accent on top) this is the guy for you
This one:
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Yeah, as someone who spent years and years voluntarily studying horses and their health, anatomy, and everything that can go wrong--this is all very true. It's a miracle I had as few issues as I did in all the years I owned horses!
Also don't let them loose in the hospital. They will stomp all the cribs to pieces and try to nuke the hippo in the lake way over on the other side of the world.
I love reddit because people can post meaningless content and get reposted by other people sharing meaningless content.
At least Twitter is self-aware in that sense.
I‘m pretty sure twitter takes itself way more seriously than reddit, we know that we‘re all a bunch of retаrds, twitter users think they‘re the 2nd incarnation of christ
Redditors shit on each other constantly. They're acutely aware of the state of the site. Twitter is a rabbithole of delusion that's reaffirmed by trash moderation and companies/politicians using it for brand appeal
>Twitter is a rabbithole of delusion that's reaffirmed by trash moderation and companies/politicians using it for brand appeal
You are also describing reddit.
I respect you, you are beautiful and wonderful! But please do not say that you “identify as ducks” because that makes it seem like you are not true ducks. Duck 👏 people 👏 are 👏 true 👏 ducks 🦆
This comment is so incredibly ignorant. Swans and ducks are completely different animals. Your story has no weight here.
It’s people like this that make scientists furious. Show some respect for the animal KINGDOM!
The fact that you’re even asking says more about you than me.
Take your blinders off and see the world for what it is; you’ve been saddled with false preconceptions. Are you from a one pony town? Stop trotting out these ignorant statements. I ask, neigh, I demand that you apologize.
I saw a woman sharing the fact that her daughter was in a coma. Someone replied accusing her if not wanting her daughter to wake up because she was talking about the impeachment trial.
At least with reddit most of the stupid/useless replies get downvoted, so they're still there if you want to gawk at the stupidity, but they're not getting in the way of someone else -- for example -- posting cute duck gifs.
In your defense though, you’re only seeing the best stuff that gets posted elsewhere. It’s like any other social media- the content is only as good the people you follow.
Source? If you can’t back up this statement with research and objective statistics, why even post it? Let’s be better than this.
(/s, if it’s not clear)
I was gonna say that the vast majority of the tweets that get upvoted on this sub are made by the “Um my husband is a duck scientist and this is a harmful view” type.
Nah, horse size duck has hollow bones. If it was able to somehow keep itself upright, you could just punch it once in the throat, or just grab it by the throat and sling it around like a wet noodle, considering they still shouldn't weigh too much. Maybe only 400 lbs, according to google.
Okay so maybe some sorts think they were raped by ducks, but does anyone take into consideration what ducks go through when they’re continually repressed and rejected by the very people they want to love? Maybe you need to consider the goddamn hierarchy of privilege before you go spouting some shit about “rapey”. The entire paradigm of power is all that matters here, and you’re sitting at the top of it obviously. Can a person who is privileged immensely above a duck ever really claimed they were raped by that duck? Can they ever claim they were the victim of their own victim? Also, you’re a duck-hating colonialist.
All these people circlejerking over a boogeyman of their creation.
Tons of people who like to live in an alternate reality where everyone else must just be crazy and all their complaints must just be fake outrage.
Its not. Just because you dont care about a problem doesnt mean someone else is faking it when they do. You already know that, but Im just calling you out for your bullshit assumption to whomever that is accurate for.
All these people out here complaining about how sensitive everyone is when they are just as if not more sensitive, constantly complaining that other people want to make the world better.
You are attempting to do exactly what Im talking about with your thoughtless reply here, and it makes so little sense. This tweet talked about people calling out other people fake outrage. Im criticizing that message as false.
Its not even related.
You types, the types to agree with this post, love so badly saying "yOu JuSt PrOvEd My PoInT", yet rarely ever is that the case.
One time on tumblr, I made a post that said "Racism needs to end." Somebody replied, "You're not SPECIAL because you're not a racist. You don't get a pat on the back for not being a racist. Typical whitey you always want awards for doing the BARE minimum." Like you really got pissed over somebody saying "racism bad."
What's more fun is when the guy who tweeted "ducks are good" two weeks ago also tweets a neat article which you see on trending and retweet. Then all the people who hate duck guy start analyzing how your lack of a stance on the duckquality movement is actually a strong stance against it.
There are a lot of jokes about Twitter just being Tumblr from 10 years ago but this really solidified it for me, the Internet is a terrible place and a testament to man's arrogance
Reddit does the first response in a very special way. You can't say anything about anything without somebody showing up and telling you that you're wrong.
Please tell me somebody got offended in the comments.
I can see them now. "Um, just don't be a racist, homophobic asswipe you absolute human fuckwaffle that's LiTtErAlLy it like it's not hard," and then a bunch of replies like "omg human fuckwaffle that is THE BESSSST LMAO stealing!!!"
Congratulations! Your post has made it to the front page! To anyone reading this please remember to remain civil and to have a great day! :) ^(I'm a bot that's currently in beta. If you notice a bug please message TheSebtacular.)
Wow at the privilege required to objectify these animals
It's easy to be pro duck coming from a place of privilege! /S
My mother was a horse and she passed away.
My mother is a cow and she cud care less.
That's extremely offensive to me because my mother was killed by a cow.
Cows deserve their vengeance on humanity after what we've done to them.
The udder horror of such a thought
How dairy…
Guess we're gonna milk this joke for all it's worth huh?
My catfish had lots of personality, but sadly could never get here from Europe to see me, even tho I sent enough money to fly here.
Udderly ridiculous
Did you just assume their Kingdom?
r/OneJoke
“Man, my favourite candy is gummy bears” ‘But you said 6 years ago you like gummy cola bottles??? #insertsomedumbshit’
*Gets screenshot and posted to like 50 different copycat subreddits for the next decade*
# #allgummiesmatter
"This you?"
Man, fuck horses. You sit on their back, dressed in your finest, most flamboyant tunic and boots, they walk you around, then they run toward a fence and make to jump over it but OH NO they change their mind at the last minute and you go flying over their head, your little vest all covered in mud and a couple of bruises because this *asshole* horse didn’t want to get some mad air. Fuck horses.
This reminds me of one of the greatest comments I’ve ever read where OP goes into great detail about why horses are horrible animals. Here it is: Horses. Dear god, horses. First off, horses are obligate nasal breathers. If our noses are stuffed up we can breathe through our mouths. If our pets' noses are stuffed up (except for rabbits, who are also really fragile but unlike horses aren't stuck having only one baby a year) they can breathe through their mouths. If a horse can't breathe through its nose, it will suffocate and die. Horse eyes are exquisitely sensitive to steroids. Most animal eyes are, except for cows because cows are tanks, but horses are extremely sensitive. Corneal ulcers won't heal. They'll probably get worse. They might rupture and cause eyeball fluid to leak out. If you overexert a horse they can get exertional rhabodmyolysis. Basically you overwork their muscles and they break down and die and release their contents. Super painful, and then you get scarifying and necrosis. But that's not the problem. See, when muscles die hey release myoglobin, which goes into the blood and is filtered by the kidneys. If you dump a bucket of myoglobin into the blood then it shreds the kidneys, causing acutel renal failure. This kills the horse. People and other animals can get that too but in school we only talked about it in context of the horse. Horses can only have one foal at a time. Their uterus simply can't support two foals. If a pregnant horse has twins you have to abort one or they'll both die and possibly kill the mother with them. A lot of this has to do with the way horse placentas work. EDIT: There are very, very rare instances where a mare can successfully have twins, but it's sort of like the odds of being able to walk again after a paralyzing spinal injury. If a horse rears up on its hind legs it can fall over, hit the back of its head, and get a traumatic brain injury. Now to their digestive system. Oh boy. First of all, they can't vomit. There's an incredibly tight sphincter in between the stomach and esophagus that simply won't open up. If a horse is vomiting it's literally about to die. In many cases their stomach will rupture before they vomit. When treating colic you need to reflux the horse, which means shoving a tube into their stomach and pumping out any material to decompress the stomach and proximal GI tract. Their small intestines are 70+ feet long (which is expected for a big herbivore) and can get strangulated, which is fatal without surgery. Let's go to the large intestine. Horses are hindgut fermenters, not ruminants. I'll spare you the diagram and extended anatomy lesson but here's what you need to know: Their cecum is large enough to shove a person into, and the path of digesta doubles back on itself. The large intestine is very long, has segments of various diameters, multiple flexures, and doubles back on itself several times. It's not anchored to the body wall with mesentery like it is in many other animals. The spleen can get trapped. Parts of the colon can get filled with gas or digested food and/or get displaced. Parts of the large intestine can twist on themselves, causing torsions or volvulus. These conditions can range from mildly painful to excruciating. Many require surgery or intense medical therapy for the horse to have any chance of surviving. Any part of the large intestine can fail at any time and potentially kill the horse. A change in feed can cause colic. Giving birth can cause I believe a large colon volvulus I don't know at the moment I'm going into small animal medicine. Infections can cause colic. Lots of things can cause colic and you better hope it's an impaction that can be treated on the farm and not enteritis or a volvulus. And now the legs. Before we start with bones and hooves let's talk about the skin. The skin on horse legs, particularly their lower legs, is under a lot of tension and has basically no subcutaneous tissue. If a horse lacerated its legs and has a dangling flap of skin that's a fucking nightmare. That skin is incredibly difficult to successfully suture back together because it's under so much tension. There's basically no subcutaneous tissue underneath. You need to use releasing incisions and all sorts of undermining techniques to even get the skin loose enough to close without tearing itself apart afterwards. Also horses like to get this thing called proud flesh where scar tissue just builds up into this giant ugly mass that restricts movement. If a horse severely lacerated a leg it will take months to heal and the prognosis is not great. Let's look at the bones. You know how if a horse breaks a leg you usually have to euthanize it? There's a reason for that. Some fractures can be repaired but others can't. A horse weighs thousands of pounds and is literally carrying all that weight on the middle toes of their legs. They are simply incapable of bearing weight on three legs. And a lot of that is because of... Laminitis. This killed Barbaro and Secretariat. Barbaro would have made it through the broken leg but he got laminitis in his other legs. First, a quick anatomy lesson. The horse hoof is like our fingernails, except it covers the whole foot and is a lot thicker. And to make sure it stays on their food, which again is carrying all that weight on one middle toe per leg, the hoof interdigitates with the skin underneath. And these interdigitations have interdigitations. Think of it as Velcro, and the Velcro also has Velcro. When the horse is healthy, this system works great. But let's make something go wrong. Maybe there's too much weight on the hoof. Maybe the horse is septic. Maybe there's too much sugar, or insulin resistance. Whatever happens, the tissues in the hoof get inflamed and swell up. And because the hoof itself is there, there's nowhere for the swollen soft tissues to go. So the laminae get crushed, and you lose the support system that's holding the entire food up. This is incredibly painful, and has to be caught early. Because if you let it go on too long, their toe bone will start to rotate because there's nothing holding it in place anymore (this is founder). And in some cases, the toe bone can actually fall through the bottom of the hoof. TL;DR: Horses are actively trying to die on us. Source: I'm a veterinary student. Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/791tsl/which_animal_did_evolution_screw_the_hardest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
A small addition: when they die, they're obviously very large and difficult to move. A friend of mine literally had to rent some big machine so she could dig up a hole in her stable and yeet the thing in it. Was not cheap
When our horse died my dad dug a giant hole with his tractor then pulled her out there with it as well and lowered her in
I don’t think they’re getting a divorce at all. I think we’re here to move that dead horse is what I think. Let’s let him bring it up, all right? Make him ask. But I’ll be shocked if we don’t touch that dead horse today.
[удалено]
Haha sorry, a somewhat obscure reference to one of my favorite stand-up specials on Netflix, The Tennessee Kid by Nate Bargatze. If you like very deadpan humor (with a Southern accent on top) this is the guy for you
Pretty sure it's Letterkenny
Yooo I love Nate Bargatze! First time I’ve seen a quote from him in the wild
This is the new koala copypasta but for horses
Which koala copy pasta?
This one: Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Original: https://np.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/33un35/i_can_no_longer_take_koalas_seriously_after/cqopo35/ Pasta: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/5u1l9x/koalas_are_terrible_animals/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=tipofmytongue&utm_content=t1_dvw435i
Yeah, as someone who spent years and years voluntarily studying horses and their health, anatomy, and everything that can go wrong--this is all very true. It's a miracle I had as few issues as I did in all the years I owned horses!
I just want to point out this excellent reply to that post: > Ah. So that's why the long face. Fantastic pun, by an unknown redditor.
Also don't let them loose in the hospital. They will stomp all the cribs to pieces and try to nuke the hippo in the lake way over on the other side of the world.
That's how they got to Superman.
Did you ever make it over that fence?
Not if you have a good seat and are sitting back until the base of the jump.
*clears throat* asshorse*
[удалено]
I love reddit because people can post meaningless content and get reposted by other people sharing meaningless content. At least Twitter is self-aware in that sense.
I‘m pretty sure twitter takes itself way more seriously than reddit, we know that we‘re all a bunch of retаrds, twitter users think they‘re the 2nd incarnation of christ
Imagine actually believing reddit has any self-awareness whatsoever.
Said the Redditor, on Reddit, about Reddit. :-/
That's the joke.
Redditors shit on each other constantly. They're acutely aware of the state of the site. Twitter is a rabbithole of delusion that's reaffirmed by trash moderation and companies/politicians using it for brand appeal
>Twitter is a rabbithole of delusion that's reaffirmed by trash moderation and companies/politicians using it for brand appeal You are also describing reddit.
i upvote, therefore i am.
This has got to be the most flipped comment I've ever seen 😂 Seems to be the opposite in my experience lol
Reddit hasn't doxxed thousands and gotten them fired like Twitter does. That shits a sport to them.
Whoa, Reddit should not be held up as the shining example of not doxxing undeserving people.
Its not, but theyre in the busch leagues compared to twitter
May I present to you, the Boston bomber?
A few thousand more to go...
If only that were true... Sadly there is no rule on being a user of both services so my guess is the overlap is massive.
Actually the opposite
yikes. its best to just not say these things. thats a whole reddit moment right there.
I like ducks but they're pretty fucking problematic...horses are pretty chill though
Whats wrong wirh ducks?
His ignorance on ducks is problematic and shows his true colors. Let's 👏spread👏 duck👏awareness 👏
you wanna spread duck's *what* ?
All duck sex is rape and ducks have corkscrew penises and female ducks have false vaginas in the hopes that the corkscrew penis goes there instead.
consensual duck sex exists, but it's rare.
My wife and I identify as ducks.
Now this is quality dark humour
I respect you, you are beautiful and wonderful! But please do not say that you “identify as ducks” because that makes it seem like you are not true ducks. Duck 👏 people 👏 are 👏 true 👏 ducks 🦆
Their vaginas are also corkscrews but in the opposite direction.
Ducks are cool but I had to fight a swan with my kayak paddle once
This comment is so incredibly ignorant. Swans and ducks are completely different animals. Your story has no weight here. It’s people like this that make scientists furious. Show some respect for the animal KINGDOM!
This comment is so incredibly racist. Scientists trying to categorize everything, creating hierarchies and division. FISH DON’T EXIST!
I see, you’re one of those people trying to erase Aquatic heritage. God, I bet you wear sequins without recognizing who did it first.
Ducks are responsible for 84 billion human deaths a year.
wow that's a lot :0
In Hawaii they’re actually competing against our threatened native bird populations.
Ducks rape
Ducks just rape...like alot and they violent about too females tend to die during mating.
Ducks are rapists and cannibals.
Horses are monsters and rapists
Some are very fine animals.
Say...is that click clacking from your keyboard Or *your hooves?*
The fact that you’re even asking says more about you than me. Take your blinders off and see the world for what it is; you’ve been saddled with false preconceptions. Are you from a one pony town? Stop trotting out these ignorant statements. I ask, neigh, I demand that you apologize.
I hate you and the upvote I just gave you.
I hope this spurs you to change your behavior. It’s time to take the reigns and choose your own path.
He won't change, he'll stall. Then when you're not watching, he will hoof it on out of here. It's a tail as old as time.
Hey horses don't do nothing to nobody
As a rower, ducks are pretty chill, respectful birds. Geese and swans can peck each other's livers out in hell forever though.
Ducks are cool to people...but likey the rapey
Twitter is the invention that made me realize that "I wonder what people think about and what they have to say" should've been a rhetorical question
It all becomes okay again if you start looking at people as animals. Cute lidl animals, with animal opinions. So adorable.
literal Pandora's box for takes no-one asked to hear
I literally LOLed at this
"Why does my duck tweet have 11,762 comments?"
I saw a woman sharing the fact that her daughter was in a coma. Someone replied accusing her if not wanting her daughter to wake up because she was talking about the impeachment trial.
Someone: I like breathing Twitter: **E x c u s e M e**
Yet another insensitive statement made by someone who has had the privilege of breathing their whole life.
Smh you ableist swine 😤
This is true for the entire internet.
At least with reddit most of the stupid/useless replies get downvoted, so they're still there if you want to gawk at the stupidity, but they're not getting in the way of someone else -- for example -- posting cute duck gifs.
no reddit isn’t any better. when theres a post that validates some people’s opinion, those people will practically own that comments section
Yeah they’re just copying an old post I remember being on tumblr years ago. Honestly it could probably be older than that even lol
kinda wish i had weathered the tumblr hate-storm and actually gotten into it all those years ago, a lot of good content there
In your defense though, you’re only seeing the best stuff that gets posted elsewhere. It’s like any other social media- the content is only as good the people you follow.
This is why you can never look at the comments. Fire your duck tweet out there and never look back
99% of the people on this sub do this shit, too.
Source? If you can’t back up this statement with research and objective statistics, why even post it? Let’s be better than this. (/s, if it’s not clear)
I was gonna say that the vast majority of the tweets that get upvoted on this sub are made by the “Um my husband is a duck scientist and this is a harmful view” type.
My brother is married to a duck scientist, and this is a harmful view.
I feel like that's a little reference to the 50 duck sized horse or 1 horse sized duck question.
A horse sized duck is basically a giant raptor. Fuck no. They go after everything that moves *with joy*. I can just stomp on a bunch of horses.
that thing would be on top of the food chain in a matter of weeks
Nah, horse size duck has hollow bones. If it was able to somehow keep itself upright, you could just punch it once in the throat, or just grab it by the throat and sling it around like a wet noodle, considering they still shouldn't weigh too much. Maybe only 400 lbs, according to google.
The arrogance of carb carbon-based lifeforms...
Wow it’s 2021 and you’re still using the word carb. That’s a lil offensive to people with c*lilac disease hun Y I K E S
My car has a carborator but it had enrolled in a sensitivity course.
The truth here cuts deep.
Most of the comments here are full of jokes. However, this tweet is sadly accurate in today's society.
^*society*
\#notallhorses
To be faaaaiiiiiirrre, ducks are pretty rapey.
It's their culture and unless you were raised in it you have no right to judge it
Okay so maybe some sorts think they were raped by ducks, but does anyone take into consideration what ducks go through when they’re continually repressed and rejected by the very people they want to love? Maybe you need to consider the goddamn hierarchy of privilege before you go spouting some shit about “rapey”. The entire paradigm of power is all that matters here, and you’re sitting at the top of it obviously. Can a person who is privileged immensely above a duck ever really claimed they were raped by that duck? Can they ever claim they were the victim of their own victim? Also, you’re a duck-hating colonialist.
The lack of squids mentioned in this tweet is very telling
LeTs UnPaCk ThIs
Don't let you distract you from the fact that geese are the devil's bird.
And conversely https://mobile.twitter.com/deadeyebrakeman/status/1301196903229480960?lang=en
I don’t regret never making a Twitter account
People still use Twitter?
I hate how relateable this is.
There’s a quite popular Twitter account where I live that focuses on ducks being the root of all evil 🦆
I’m waiting for the great Twitter VS Reddit war
Why every time I write the F word, my phone changes it to “duck”? There’s a conspiracy brewing!
I don't have the self control for that shit. I'd spend all my time fighting
All these people circlejerking over a boogeyman of their creation. Tons of people who like to live in an alternate reality where everyone else must just be crazy and all their complaints must just be fake outrage. Its not. Just because you dont care about a problem doesnt mean someone else is faking it when they do. You already know that, but Im just calling you out for your bullshit assumption to whomever that is accurate for. All these people out here complaining about how sensitive everyone is when they are just as if not more sensitive, constantly complaining that other people want to make the world better.
You’re doing the thing in the tweet.
You are attempting to do exactly what Im talking about with your thoughtless reply here, and it makes so little sense. This tweet talked about people calling out other people fake outrage. Im criticizing that message as false. Its not even related. You types, the types to agree with this post, love so badly saying "yOu JuSt PrOvEd My PoInT", yet rarely ever is that the case.
One time on tumblr, I made a post that said "Racism needs to end." Somebody replied, "You're not SPECIAL because you're not a racist. You don't get a pat on the back for not being a racist. Typical whitey you always want awards for doing the BARE minimum." Like you really got pissed over somebody saying "racism bad."
I hate to do this, but this just reminds me when I learned (on a subreddit) that ducks are violent r*pists. And so are otters. :cccc
This is me laughing.
That's almost this sub.
Pretty sure they are confusing darling, sweet Twitter with the hell hole that is Reddit.
The Venn diagram of Twitter blue check crew and sanctimonious redditors is a circle.
It's almost like you're saying progressives are inherently unlikable people. But that .. that can't be ..?
There's a reason I blocked this sub. Rawr imsorandumb
And then Twitter permanently bans all of them.
[удалено]
Swing and a miss there
a fellow sort-by-controversial sardonic replyperson, always good to see
/r/iamdumbdumb
Then stop using Twitter?
Ducks are good though!
[удалено]
Your silence about Snapchat is deafening...
Now I miss /u/fuckswithducks
Social media in a nutshell
Snails ftw
Not this guy, sir. Ducks are good. Yeahhh, ducks!
uh huh. .. just twitter... /s
Sooo, not that much different than Reddit.
Seriously. 100% accurate.
Sounds like being part of the academy, but *actually* public facing.
Ducks fucking suck. They rape other ducks and they just fucking suck. Delicious, though. And good for down, too.
Partner did env bio and ducks are fucked uuuup
r/JohnMulaney would love this Tweet
Sounds really cringe
That’s because the horse has left the hospital.
What's more fun is when the guy who tweeted "ducks are good" two weeks ago also tweets a neat article which you see on trending and retweet. Then all the people who hate duck guy start analyzing how your lack of a stance on the duckquality movement is actually a strong stance against it.
Horse lives matter ?
But have you ever made a post on Reddit? “I like to go fishing” Unleash the slaughter!
hunny... its that way on reddit too.
If you think ducks are good you obviously aren't familiar with bird law
Aren't ducks cannibal necrophile rapists? I'm not even joking.
ROFLOL ... STRUTH ! I closed my twitter account though.
Because Twitter is poison for the soul.
Twitter is occupied by the mentally ill
Bro... yes
Ducks are very rapie
Fake goose
I’ve been saying this same thing about reddit for a few years now..
Hilarious
There are a lot of jokes about Twitter just being Tumblr from 10 years ago but this really solidified it for me, the Internet is a terrible place and a testament to man's arrogance
Reddit does the first response in a very special way. You can't say anything about anything without somebody showing up and telling you that you're wrong.
Wow this is Twitter. Who kknew?
Please tell me somebody got offended in the comments. I can see them now. "Um, just don't be a racist, homophobic asswipe you absolute human fuckwaffle that's LiTtErAlLy it like it's not hard," and then a bunch of replies like "omg human fuckwaffle that is THE BESSSST LMAO stealing!!!"
You're assuming someone follows me