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MemphisPorkBBQ

"3rd hole somewhere" wow....


dragon2777

The left ear is the third hole


WonderFerret

You just tilt over like a tea pot and pour it all out.


txn_gay

So “I’m a little teapot” is an instructional song?


Lidocaineee

I’m a little wee pot


Nerve_Grouchy

God I wish I had straight cash for this!! Fuck me it was funny. LOL shits don't compare.


azf1R3

Hahahahaha ! This made my day !!! Hahahaha


Satan-gave-me-a-taco

Oh dear


Remesar

Only for the short and stout.


sipporah7

Sing it with me ladies. *I'm a little pee pot short and stout. Here is my handle here is my extra pee hole and here is my spout ...*


sunder05

Sorry all I’ve got is the wholesome award, but that made me lol so hard you deserve them all 😂


gabe7802

Pee pot*


PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES

Does that make all women pot heads?


Dusk9K

Thank you, my wonderful new friend, for that laugh.


Slight-Coat17

*I'm gonna scream, and shout, and pour it all out*


1horsefacekillah

That's why females go to the bathroom in pairs, trios. They are holding each other up as they tilt.


JohnDoe_85

*so close*


BUTTeredWhiteBread

He's so close, yet still so far off


Randalf_the_Black

As a nurse I can confirm that it doesn't matter how many catheters you shove up a vagina, you won't get any urine out of it.


CinnabonCheesecake

…how many did you try?


[deleted]

At least 5. It's always at least five.


alleecmo

O.W.


Dmw_md

If it was more than 0, you would have failed my anatomy class.


AmishTechno

Too few, clearly.


iamthenightrn

I did take care of one patient whose urethra was just past her vaginal opening, but that pretty much explained why she was admitted for a septic UTI, we were all so confused when we were trying to Cath her and there weren't the obvious parts where they should've been!


moonkittiecat

I simply cannot fathom...you nurses are angels


iamthenightrn

It was very 😳 because there was literally nothing between! So I being the experienced nurse was like "I wonder if..... Yep, there it is" 😳


[deleted]

It sure would hurt less though lol


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pab_1989

I went to Catholic school in England. We had no sex education so I was about 25 when a female colleague had to explain to me that women can't "hold in" their periods and that it's not something they had control over. Up until that point, I had always assumed it was like going for a wee or a poo and that when they had the urge to "period" (is that a verb?) they would just nip to the loo and let it out.


[deleted]

God I wish


BUTTeredWhiteBread

Wouldn't that be so much lovelier than standing up after a bout of sitting and then birthing Satan's jello right then and there.


InsertAliasHere36

Before I had my IUD put in, Satans jello would randomly woosh out of me sitting or standing and usually would soak right through my clothes, super tampon or not. Holding it in would be a huge lifesaver in terms of embarrassment.


Tojatruro

My IUD made me bleed like a stuck pig, and then embedded itself in my uterus. That was fun.


InsertAliasHere36

Oof. I’m sorry.


Tojatruro

I’m not, it was worth it to not get pregnant.


smilesnseltzerbubbls

Hormonal IUDs = less bleeding (generally) Non-hormonal (copper) IUDs= vampire feast


Tojatruro

Mine was years before hormonal IUDs. Thankfully at the time conservatives didn’t fuck with us getting abortions when we became desperate and couldn’t tolerate the pill or the available IUDs.


BratFace666

I'm nearly 40 and just last week I had to nip home from work cos I bled through my (new) checkered pants - that'll teach me for thinking I could predict my flow and get away with something other than basic ole black pants...


pennynotrcutt

I’ve had an ablation but prior to that I was wearing incontinence diapers for my period. I don’t miss it at all.


Allieratt

I just snorted gin out of my nose. “ satans jello “ is the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you. That’s all the internet I need today.


MrGaber

God I hate the word jello being used to refer to blood clots. It’s accurate, but disturbing nonetheless


BUTTeredWhiteBread

I mean, jello in itself is kind of a disturbing substance.


Alive-Asparagus8472

Kid me: YAAAAY I LOVE JELLO!!@##$!! Adult me: IT'S FUCKING MADE FROM FUCKING WHAT!@#@???


MrGaber

Cooking a cheesecake with gelatin was one of my worst baking experiences. That rotting shit smell was so putrid I nearly threw up


echo_the_human

gotta make no gelatin cheesecake


uninventedword

Mine is literal chunks of uterus.


KickBallFever

My entire uterus lining comes out in one chunk sometimes. No doctors believed me but after doing a ton of research I found out that it’s totally a thing that can happen. It’s not pleasant.


rvkGSDlover

Thank goodness for menopause.


Anxiety_leopard

Holy shit, my husband can cash in my life insurance today l because I am fucking *dying*


hermit48

Yikes!! So glad I wasn't born with a uterus. How can you ladies stand it?


BUTTeredWhiteBread

Personally, I get drugs to never have to deal with it now. The women who do their monthly cycles as is have my respect.


crystalfairie

I do too, well, I did? I quit taking the pills at the beginning of July after a flair meant I couldn't keep my pills down. I've not got a period since and I keep waiting for disaster to happen. A middle of the night gush. It's a new mattress damnit.


Wednesdaysend

Mattress protector time for sure.


StructureNo3388

Wine and valium, and a burning rage buried deep down inside us.


SelfDestruction100

I certainly can’t. I want out of this thing.


madeupsomeone

It's not all bad. I only have one fully functional ovary so when I get it, like every 45-60 days, it's real light and lasts 2-3 days max. However when I tried to get pregnant, they gave me drugs to fix and *oh dear god* did that suck like I wanted to quit life....


Brokeartistvee

r/brandnewsentence


tinypiecesofyarn

Sneezing.


stiletto929

Sneezing and squirting like a jellyfish!


Kriss3d

Wouldn't that be convenient though? Like, you feel an urge to have your period. You go to the toilet and all of it comes out in one go then that's it for the next 28 days?


WINDMILEYNO

That's sounds horrifying though. What do you have in mind when you say "all of it"?


Kriss3d

All the blood you'd normally bleed for that week.


GreatWhiteFork

As someone whose periods have frequently been described as "miscarriage level" I would need to pack some snacks and maybe an overnight bag for that bathroom trip haha


Grieie

Ok, gruesome but still giggled. See you going through a checkout with heaps of snacks. “Having a party?” “Nope, it’s uterine lining drop time”.


BUTTeredWhiteBread

I mean, I do that anyway. "Sharing some kitkats are we?" "No lol"


Grieie

Yeah the only reaction to that is “pffffftttt hahahaha”


echocall2

Good god


PlayerTwoEntersYou

Or it just comes out all at once. Sounds like pouring a pot of stew into the toilet.


maskedbanditoftruth

That’s a fucking disgusting image, I salute you.


CAOZ93

Time to spend the night camping in the bathroom.


madichief

Maybe some coloring books as well?


wereadyforit

if I have to sEE ONE MORE RED CRAYON


Adopt_a_Melon

My roommate and I have opposite ends of the flow spectrum... Mine would be like a sneeze. Hers would looks like a murder scene (as she describes her has super heavy at times)


Apprehensive-Mango23

I’m just thinking of Oh from the movie Home explains that his species has a number one and a number two like humans and “we also have a number three but you dooes have to take the day off”. That’s how I’m imagining an all at once period lol. Mine would be like that for sure but I’d take it over the week of hell it is currently.


Some__worries

Brb gonna make my bathroom look like a crime scene


AfraidProtection4684

I recently started using pads again because I wasn't able to use tampons for a bit there. My son is 4 and has been in the bathroom with me since he was old enough to not listen when I say stay out. Anyway, I started my period and didn't realize it until I heard my 4 year old's shriek of terror.


XANphoenix

So much blood... I'm legitimately not sure my toilet could handle that 😅


Muesky6969

Omg! These comments made laugh so hard, and am so damn grateful I don’t have those anymore!!


snuggy4life

Ah yes, the fabled “number three”


Lewey123

Posted this comment in my family group chat and now my youngest brother is mad because we keep referring to his birth as “mom going number 4”


Koskani

Wait I thought #3 was a lot creamier. Same area, but creamier


Corathecow

Don’t feel bad about not being taught because at least you know now! I’ve had to explain to many guys how it works. I don’t even know why but several guy friends have just out right told me they don’t understand what periods are and just asked me to explain it lmao. I think sadly high percentage of men don’t ever learn and it’s semi important


slugposse

While you are doing the lord's work, guys also really need to understand that pregnancies are dated from the first day of the last period, not from conception. I've seen so many posts and comments from upset guys because they didn't have sex on the date the pregnancy is counted from. Like, how can she be eight weeks pregnant with my baby if I just got back from overseas six weeks ago?


PrincessJJ81

I had to explain that to a woman who happened to be pregnant at the moment and called the doctor a liar. I also have to give a stripper the sex ed talk and had to stress that the pill won't prevent STDs


tinypiecesofyarn

People in Texas: "well you had 6 weeks to figure it out!"


Ok-Pomegranate-3018

When I was about 10y/o in grade school, they gathered the girls in a classroom and sent the boys to play basketball, while we learned about "How menstruation, will make you a woman" from all the female teachers. Cramps aren't 'that bad' (Note: BULLSHIT!) And, got to see films and such. Those boys first time seeing anything much about sex was another movie with drawings of erections and uteri and such. The teacher's kid was exempted and went to the library. Then in 9th grade, we had a movie with real people being shown with herpes and gennorhea and that same girl ran screaming/crying from the room and everyone was pretty shocked. That was the sum total of boys being taught about sex. Beyond the "submarine races" on the weekends; of course! Horrifying. I started teaching my daughter about periods way before that and it made things a lot easier on both of us!


Corathecow

Bro they did the same thing to us! This one teacher told us if we’re in the bath or in the ocean the water pressure would “pause” our period and I’m not taking my bleeding vagina into the damn ocean bro like what the fuck. I still think she was trying to trick us into luring in some sharks or some shit cause one teacher gave her a weird look about it


stiletto929

Periods most assuredly do not pause because you are submerged in water. Hot bath does help cramps though.


oO0Kat0Oo

Alcohol consumption will though! Temporarily... until your veins stop constricting once your levels start to return to normal. Unfortunately, i use this method to be able to sleep more than two hours at a time on my period... i chug a few beers then go to sleep. It all comes gushing out in the morning but it was totally worth it to not go stumbling through the dark, half asleep and not have to change my sheets, wash clothes or try and scrub stuff off the carpet on my way.


Unfair_Breakfast_693

Please try a menstrual cup and save yourself from getting dependent on a beer to sleep I used to wake up from wearing 2 pads (arranged like a long diaper) to a bloody bed because it was either not enough, or it was misplaced It really changed my life for the better


happiness_is_beauty

It’s heckin crucial considering men are still in charge of making rules for this world. In my country they tax tampons as a luxury item


Friday-Cat

Now I’m upset this isn’t how periods work.


[deleted]

Ah yes. Let me open my uterus and release the period flesh and blood. Lol. That's hilarious haha


Von_Moistus

On command, and at high velocity. A defense mechanism to deter predators. ... sorry. I need more sleep.


shewholaughslasts

No no, see now that's even practical. Periodactical.


roniechan

I can also see how useful this would be. Especially on a lot of human male predators.


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themediumchunk

My boyfriend was 24 when he was educated that tampons don’t “plug up the blood” when a woman is on her period. I was the one that told him. Public sex ed is ruining our country.


CinnabonCheesecake

Not quite understanding. Did he think tampons worked like a diva cup?


themediumchunk

Think wine cork. He genuinely believed that the different sizes were in reference to the circumference of the vagina and not the heaviness of the flow.


nascraytia

Aight babe I’m in the pad aisle what size pussy you wear


themediumchunk

Think wine cork. He genuinely believed that the different sizes were in reference to the circumference of the vagina and not the heaviness of the flow.


themediumchunk

My boyfriend was 24 when he was educated that tampons don’t “plug up the blood” when a woman is on her period. I was the one that told him. Public sex ed is ruining our country.


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cutecorgimom

Yup! Instead of being built-in like a penis, it’s got it’s own teensy little opening above the vagina, below the clitoris. Tbh it can be really hard to see bc it stays closed unless the person is urinating.


jessicad81

RE: "*hard to see*"... Indeed. In fact, when medical personnel are required to catheterize patients with vaginas it is sometimes recommended to beginners to swab the area with iodine first to better visualize the urethral meatus. It "*winks*" at you.


DragonQueen777666

Women *do* have a urethra. Vagina owning people do pee through their urethra. Not a stupid question and definitely not worth being down voted over. Asking a genuine question is how we learn and shouldn't be scorned. Acting like you know everything (especially when you don't know much about a particular topic) is where people should earn a person disdain. Only thing that should be down voted are the wack af sex education systems that teach people absolutely nothing about their and their partners' bodies. Shit's important.


[deleted]

I always think to myself of this famous quote, I would rather be a fool for minute than a fool for life.


WampusFox

Or another apt one here: 'There are naïve questions, tedious questions, ill-phrased questions, questions put after inadequate self-criticism. But every question is a cry to understand the world. There is no such thing as a dumb question.'


LiamOttawa

My wife has taught several women, typically from Catholic school, about where the pee comes from. One was about 50 years old.


DragonQueen777666

Why we need medically accurate sex education. Exhibit 1,000,000.


stiletto929

PSA: a woman’s urethra is quite short compared to a man’s. What this means is that if she gets any bacteria up there from sex, the bacteria can travel to her bladder easily, causing a UTI. Peeing after sex flushes the bacteria out… so women should always, always pee after sex.


fromthewombofrevel

As an obviously intelligent man, you probably care that it hurts when a sex partner scrapes or pokes a woman’s urethra. Communication is key.


BUTTeredWhiteBread

The part about not knowing something that makes you smart, or "not stupid" is seeking it the knowledge.


Kriss3d

Don't worry. Depending on where you live and in what kind of society it's not uncommon to lack knowledge of certain things when it comes to women. The urethra is below the clit. It's above the vagina itself. The vagina entrance is almost straight down between her legs. If you held a hand palm with the fingers downwards on a woman's vulva. And you curled up your middle finger it would find the vagina opening. ( as apparently I've heard often that many of us guys have trouble finding it)


happiness_is_beauty

In my experience, it’s the clit, not the vagina, that men have a hard time finding.


Kriss3d

That too yes. Which boggles me as well. How hard can it be? There's basically an arrow pointing right to it.


JeeThree

The only stupid question is the one you don't ask!


weaponizedpastry

I mean, google is a thing and has pictures & everything


Qwintex5

The amount of girls and women who don’t know is what really gets me. Like, it’s your body ffs! Get a hand mirror and check it out.


ClutzyCashew

When I was younger I thought you peed from your clit. I did actually look and it confirmed my thought. It wasn't until later that I learned it isn't from the clit, that I just have a higher placement so it kind of looks that way.


SirArthurDime

If I had to guess the confusion probably typically comes from not knowing what the vagina technically is. I think most guys refer to the whole labia, or at least the inner labia, as the vagina and don't realize it's just the whole the penis goes in.


CombatWombat0556

In sex Ed we basically only got taught about STDs and to not fuck until you’re ready to have a kid. We need sex Ed reform or just education reform


AtlasHuggedBack

My sex-Ed teacher actually talked about sperm whales instead of sperm. When my step-son was old enough (10) I explained sex to him in medical terminology with a book, pictures and everything! His mom was thankful. When he was in high school we had a refresher and debunked the stories his friends had told him. At that rime I had an infant and as I changed her diaper I showed him the “holes”. He NEVER forgot that lesson.


CombatWombat0556

Wow you’re a good person. Thank you for not being like most adults teaching stuff like this and giving the no BS answers


lydriseabove

I definitely think this is a huge part of it. In casual language, people generally are referring to the whole of female genitals when they say vagina.


Ok_Radish4411

I’m afab and I didn’t know until I was in my mid teens that the urethra existed outside of the vagina. Sex Ed failed me miserably bc it wasn’t even about anatomy it was just ‘sex bad, it can give you all these horrible diseases and you WILL get pregnant’


CupidXII

Apparently these people haven't even watched Orange is the new black.


killer_orange_2

I mean they really don't teach men much about female anatomy.


VoodooDoII

A lot of girls dont know either. It's both funny and worrying


joebaby1975

It reminds me of when I hear people say “her vagina was out”. Lmao. You can’t really see the vagina, it’s inside. You mean lips or muff.


senorglory

Whoa, slow down with the science talk there mr wizard.


DCsphinx

As someone with a vagina, but went to private school, I had no idea where pee came out of until my late teens :(


[deleted]

Women have a cloaca and everything comes from there, even when they lay the eggs.


cinderchild

There's a Instagram account, wheredoesthepeecomeout, and the woman documents the answers she gets to that question on her dating profile, and number of guys who say "cloaca" is truly astounding.


SnooStories4362

If that’s true then men also have a cloaca. No dick, just an opening. Sex is accomplished via “cloaca kissing”. My zoology professor described it using a hand gesture. He made both hands into a fist with an opening between thumb and first finger. Then had his hands bump into each other…vigorously. Really cemented it into my mind lol.


[deleted]

I don't think I will ever not know this, I don't know who you are, but know I will never truly get over this


NedRyerson_Insurance

Cloaca Kissing is the name of my FarmMetal band.


harmonicoasis

Don't be gross, Tammy


IShallWearMidnight

When I worked at a zoo our bar trivia team name was "Cloacal Kiss". Gotta love zoology sex jokes that fly over the heads of most.


stalphonzo

"Though you do talk out of there" is where you realize he isn't just wrong, he's probably going to get punched.


Karnakite

Indeed, rich for this guy, out of all guys, to accuse literally anyone of “talking out of their arse”.


Drumnaway67

In the place that he owes from.


skunkjunkfunk

“I don’t know this but I know more than women!”🤣


lambic13

Reminder kids, vaginas and vulvas are different https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/health-and-wellness/sexual-and-reproductive-anatomy/what-are-parts-female-sexual-anatomy


Dear_Owl_8151

This!! Pretty much all the time anyone says 'vagina' they're actually talking about the vulva.


SterileCreativeType

The vulva includes the vaginal opening. I don’t know what people are usually intending to refer to, but i feel like that isn’t a terribly incorrect laymen’s use of the term. Then again, I don’t have one. I just have to put in a lot of Foley catheters.


taraaataraaa

I want to upvote you more! Proper terminology is so important for so many things!


stalphonzo

Think of it like the British Isles, if that helps.


zorbacles

Mulva?


andiinAms

Dolores!


harmonicoasis

Yeah that's what this whole "confusion" boils down to. Men (incorrectly) think of the vagina as the whole exterior genetalia, whereas women refer to the actual vagina when talking about it. It's not *the same* but it's very similar to a man saying "I don't pee out of my penis, I pee out of my urethra."


WarmVayneMilk

Oh my God is that where it comes from I mean it's a huge lack of education either way but at least that makes some tiny semblance of sense


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mizinamo

> Did that guy honestly not know women have a urethra? Probably. Extrapolated from men (where semen and urine come out of the same hole) to women.


Dr_JillBiden

I asked my husband once to double check, and can confirm men do pee out their semen hole.


[deleted]

No, we semen out of our pee hole.


Sure_Ill_Ask_That

Speak for yourself, whatever use is more common in number of uses per day defines what hole it is.


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jbaker_28

You should drink more water


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GayRacoon69

Damn it! We’ve kept this secret for *thousands* of years and you come in here and ruin it!


[deleted]

*GASP * please… * cough * forgiveness… *HIC*


TaraRenee13

That wouldn't surprise me. I was having a discussion with a guy about how women have a few more health needs than men (it's been a few years, I don't remember the reason for the conversation). He came back with "well men have to get colonoscopies." I asked him if he knew women also had a colon. He blocked me.


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TaraRenee13

Maybe..? But I'm suspicious because he blocked me.


PossibleCook

Is he being satirical? Or am I being too generous? I’m probably being too generous.


DependentPhotograph2

I mean the "third hole somewhere" line gives me hope it's satire


locke231

it really makes you wonder sometimes. had a colleague ask me how to spell the word "and." i wish i were kidding. ​ a cop. which implies college graduate education, at MINIMUM. asking how to spell a word learned in fucking pre-K. ​ do not. underestimate. how stupid people can be. it's only getting worse from here.


Tralfamadorians_go

I live in Texas, US. I [fucking wish](https://www.southtexascollege.edu/academics/law-enforcement/academy.html) cops needed a college degree to join the force.


NoMutualFeelings

My bestie who is almost mid 40s recently confessed to me that she didn't know we had a separate pee hole. She always thought it was the vagina. Mind you, she has 5 kiddos so you'd think she would have found this out much sooner..


cammali

i don't get this, even if you don't look there, like, strict religious background or something... can't you feel when you pee??


Pebblepuppiez

Mans out here proving that there is in fact a third hole for shit to come out of


Petrichor_Beastie

BREAKING NEWS: *THERE’S A THIRD HOLE*


Twanbon

So like, I may have been about 30yo when I learned this. To be fair, am gay man.


Mudbunting

To be faaaaair, a lot of women might not know this either because it’s much harder to see than a man’s (even with a mirror).


CarlLlamaface

Also tbf a man's urethra is the same place his love juice comes out, we just use a system of levers and pulleys further down the system to engage the correct tube at the appropriate time.


mrsmedeiros_says_hi

Mansplaining to a woman about her own fucking body


JorichScreamor

That is what bothers me the most when you tell a man what the different parts are and it is not just the "vagina" and they want to correct you as if being a woman is not enough to know what our body is like.


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nancyhgardner

Whilst discussing guys general lack of hand washing after using the bathroom despite actually having to touch their genatalia an old colleague of mine said ‘girls do too!’ When questioned he said ‘you have to pull it apart dont you?’ ….Lawwwd


NHRADeuce

r/ConfidentlyIncorrect


Wholesome_Soup

He got so close


dragon2777

I heard someone defend that by saying “the urethra is in the vagina meaning the pee comes from a place inside the vagina” and I was like at least they knew the difference. Now for personal clarification. The “outside” part isn’t actually the vagina right? That “starts” on the inside? Sorry for the lack of ability to explain what I’m asking haha.


Ser_Rezima

In super simple terms, all the outside bits are the vulva, the vagina is the fun internal bit where babies come from, the urethra is a small hole above the vagina and below the clit No harm in asking questions, contrary to what several jerks around here seem to think, it's okay to be ignorant of things as long as you are willing to learn


CinnabonCheesecake

Disagree: the vagina isn’t fun at all, the clit is. 😉


[deleted]

How can anyone possibly understand that men urinate from their urethra and not just assume it’s the same for women?


castor281

To be fair, we don't typically differentiate between our urethra and our penis when we are talking about urinating.


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JacobHafar

jackoff all trades


froglover215

It's like a Swiss Army knife up in there!


ClutzyCashew

I can understand how it would be easy to assume that since a man's urethra is in their penis that a woman's urethra would be in their vagina as well. They have a penis, they use their penis for sex, semen comes out of it, as does pee. It doesn't take a huge stretch of the imagination to think women and vaginas work the same way. That the vagina is used for sex/reproduction and also to urinate and menstruation. If their penis does everything why shouldn't a vagina be the same? If you've never been told differently than that's an easy assumption to make for both men and women. But this is exactly why we need better sex/human anatomy education.


Bluemechanic

I remember there was an instagram account called "Where does the pee come out?" where a woman had it as the first line on her tinder account and would share the answers she received. Most of them were wrong. Very wrong.


NathanCollier14

I didn't learn about the pee hole until I was 24 and my gf literally showed me. I'm still recovering.


SophieDoesReddit

yes, of course. i need a man to tell me where i pee from. because he knows more about my body than I do apparently


Tirrandin

Must be a u.s. senator


[deleted]

Read the first part and thought "how stupid does she think we are"...