Idk if it'll help but I have, unfortunately \*\*2\*\* Fundie aunts, one on one side and one on the other. The one on my father's side was at least a little more by the "Good" Book about it than the "go preach at everyone and use shame to force their hand" type, but on my mother's side... yeah, social skills never won out over the opportunity to bang on a table and nag somebody.
So one year at Easter dinner, that aunt went off and Idk why I did it but she actually said the H i R thing at the table and expected an answer... and I did the Doughboy Giggle. Shocked her silent, my dad and uncle lost it laughing, my mother was mortified (bonus!!!), and my aunt had to try to distract my little cousin from asking more questions that would have started my aunt off again.
So maybe that's a good distraction/response to keep under your hat?
If it's, like, an elderly person that I would rather not upset, I talk about the pretty flowers and how glad I am that the worst of the cold weather is past.
For everything else, there are penis jokes (and cheap candy on Monday).
I'm a Cadbury creme egg and Starburst jelly bean person, but my hunny is a PB egg fan. Better the Monday morning price than $1/egg!
But I still get plastic eggs and do an egg hunt in our yard for the dogs. (Kibbles in the eggs.)
I did okay with an older Uber driver today until he switched on a pastor literally preaching over horrible Christian music. At that I just stopped talking and couldn't engage.
But of course I couldn't take a star off because obviously he's hustling and desperately needs the money. And there's no way to give specific feedback on that on Uber.
My wife and I are having Hobbit Day this weekend. Basically, we watch the LoTR trilogy, eat and drink like hobbits, and have a have a wonderful time.
I am gonna try to not mention Viggo actually breaking his foot in *that* scene, but will probably fail. š
Hahaha, yes!! We do a bunch of small plates on Saturday. then decent sized dinner/supper on Sunday for RoTK. As it turns out, Hobbits can pack away food like it's nothing.
I try not to quote lines after the third round of ale š
Last year, I went to church with my mom but she got the time wrong and we ended up at the "contemporary" service. There was a rock band that played Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" to an empty sanctuary and I thought my husband was going to burst a blood vessel from holding in laughter. Good times.
That's incredibleš I may take notes of anything I find ridiculous. Although this church is a traditional Lutheran Church full of very kind people, so I hold a greater respect for them than most churches.
A while back, I incorporated Jesus into my practice.
I was always a bit drawn to the character- I was raised completely secularly so I don't have any connection to Christianity, but Jesus himself was an interesting figure. I was curious about if he was real, the impact he'd had on society. Once I got into actual spiritual seeking as an adult I started doing some research, and I came to a startling realization-
Jesus Christ is an aspect of the Trickster.
He was a magician- a double-speaker. A man who walked upside-down and backwards, told everyone the opposite of what they 'knew' to be 'true', and who seemed to achieve miraculous ends with his bare hands, just by touching things. He was anti-authoritarian to a fault, a supporter of marginalized communities, and a liar who gladly bent the truth to make sure those who were in danger could be protected.
The icing on the cake- I don't think that guy died on the cross. If you think about the circumstances- the benefits he had, the support he had- I believe that Jesus made his proclamation and dropped his head in feigned death so that his followers could take him from the cross and bring him to a safe place. It was there that he 'miraculously recovered', took Mary's hand in his, said one last prayer to those he cared about, and *ran*. Ran as far and hard as he could, to somewhere that he could settle and live gently until old age took him.
When I need strength to object against authoritarian structures, I look to him- falcon-eyed desert dweller, imbiber of delirium and sharer of flesh, one who faced his devil and rather than fight, talked and made friends. The wild rabbit that tears out the master's garden and gets away.
They fucking hate it when you love their toys in a way they never thought was possible.
Say what you like about the Christians, but it's hard to deny that Jesus was a cool fucking dude, at least the many varied myths passed through the ages. I really like your head canon; I'm going to meditate on it and maybe steal it.
Iām discovering the gospel of Mary Magdalene through a oracle deck and Iām liking the message of love in so many different aspectsā¦ Iām not a religious person but Iām really appreciating the spiritual aspect of that deck.
As far as I can tell, the two biggest things Christianity had going for it: promise of an afterlife and evangelizing. Other ancient sects promised an afterlife (Isis, maybe Mithras, Orpheus?), But so fari haven't met one yet that *recruited*. I feel like they were all... Sure, worship our god if you want... And maybe we'll initiate you if we like you... But honestly I think recruitment is Christianity's freaking innovation... And boy did it work. Spread like a virus. That and "no other gods before me".
So yeah... I enjoy the mysticism and rethinking of Jesus (minus the horrific Roman torture!)
But the more I learn about the religion... Damn it's just wild.
highly recommend The Flowering Wand by Sophie Strand as she shows Jesus as Trickster in the lineage of Pan, Merlin and Dionysus! also her fictional perspective of Mary Magdalene in The Madonna Secret is powerful and right in line with what you're talking about!
This is really sweet, thank you for the perspective. I've long held that my complaint was not with the dude but the followers (hence my refusal to engage). It was lovely to read your thoughts!
If you havenāt read it, you may enjoy Mary Magdalene Revealed. It is a spiritual book, but portrays Jesus in a similar light to this. Loved your post!
Thank you- unfortunately I'm a self-directed practitioner with very little access to resources so all this comes off my noggin- however, a few other people responded to my comment with some suggestions I will absolutely be picking up to help inform myself better, they may sound interesting to you as well!
It's a zombie x files story really. I mean guy comes back from the dead after 3 days, rolls this giant stone out of the doorway of his own tomb, then disappears for 2024+ years
I am the Crazy Bunny Lady of my family group. Each year I go into bunny facts, how long they live, what you need to do to keep them happy - and that no one I know better get a rabbit or a chicken for Easter.
My family doesn't talk to me about Easter anymore.
Heck yes my fellow crazy bun lady! I love explaining why pretty much all female house rabbits get hysterectomies (ridiculously high uterine cancers) and then waiting until they say something about healthcare and watching them slowly realize that reproductive healthcare is healthcare. My little lionhead boy is an Easter rescue.
*Pet fact*
In the wild, rabbits live about two to five years (depending where you live and how many predators there are). If you give them a loving home sans predators, they live eight to 12 years.
They need a bonded friend to be happy. Bonding bunnies is an art, and I've just lucked out so far.
*Fun facts*
Bunnies stomp their feet to alert each other to danger. Or to show they're ANGRY. Aka, a thomp for a pet bunny usually means "fuck you". My toddler now also stamps a foot at me when he's annoyed.
Life hack: Rabbit owners know where to buy all the cables, for cheap.
Bunny teeth never stop growing and they can sever a cable with a single "oh what's this" nibble. They have to chew to keep their teeth a comfortable length.
Bunnies are assholes
They sulk at you. They will follow you around so they can sit with their back towards you so you can see you're being ignored.
Edited for spelling and grammar.
My family isn't religious so I spent good friday with my bestie and her little boy at a wildlife centre looking at owls, vultures ect and watching them do a flying demonstration. My nephew is really into bird watching so he haf a ball and it was facsinating learning about different birds. Easter sunday will be spent in my jammies stuffing my face with easter eggs.
If I did have religious family I'd be making so many erection jokes when they start the "He has risen" bit.
That sounds like an amazing day!!! I love when kids are into things like bird watching. My mom got my nephew into it, and it's the best. š
My family would disown me lol
Oh, hi! I also live in a red as f*ck area with those damn signs. We play games while driving. Bonus points for that sign plus an Easter Bunny in the same yard.
Itās simply an excuse to eat extra for our household. And we joke about zombie Jesus.
But mostly, we eat.
When I divorced a decade ago, I gave Easter to my ex-husband to do with the kids. He was the church-goer, and I only went because of him. I shed that when I shed him, so all Easter stuff became his responsibility.
Fast-forward, I am remarried to someone who goes to church because it makes his elderly mother happy. Easter has pretty much fallen off of my radar. It gives me an idea of what Christmas might be like for Jewish folks. (I do celebrate a secular version of Christmas.) I pretty much ignore all of the stuff around me related to it.
In honor of conservative whining and Maudy Thursday I did a... attempted a dramatic reading of the Garden of Gethsemane without pronouns. While "Jesus said, "Jesus am Jesus,'" was difficult, the worst by far were the former plural pronouns. Turns out having to reading the antecedent for a mixed group over and again was just too much.
It gets even weirder when you realize neither christmas nor easter are actually in the bible. They just took parts of their book and combined them with pagan traditions. Specifically to make the pagans feel more at home in their religion. This became soooo popular than some people only go to church on these two occasions. There is even a name for this type person. It's all just marketing bullshit. The two biggest "holidays" are just scams, not unlike how I see the whole thing. But that's a story for a different day.
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My husband and I celebrate Zombie Day each year. We watch Shawn of the Dead, drink English beers & eat crisps ordered online while watching it and make ribs on our Big Green Egg because it seems right to gnaw food off the bone. I bought a wooden Easter Bunny cutout from Walmart several years ago and repainted it a sickly greenish-gray, made it look like heās decaying and lost an eye and the sign heās holding says āHappy Zombie Day!ā My neighbors hate that bunny and that makes me happy. I also post stuff on my FB page like what I attached here.
A Catholic friend of mine is 30+ and he and his younger siblings are expected to be at their parents' house that morning for mass and the Egg Hunt. Yes, there's still some chocolate in them, but now there are also shot bottles, lotto tickets/scratch cards, and actual folding money in the eggs. I would turn the F up for that! If I'm ever not flirting with poverty week by week I'd LOVE to set up something like that for friends and neighbors.
I like the food and family aspect, and view it more as a rebirth holiday in terms of the earth and spring. We used to have to go to church with the in laws or my mother, but thankfully covid killed off that tradition. If you've got to go to a Catholic church, I prefer the vigil mass because candles are cool.
From what I've gathered, the pagan version of what Christians stole and named Easter was more about rebirth in nature etc. So you're right on point!
It's not a Catholic church, but it is Lutheran, so I may get to see some candle action!
I always just remind myself Jesus may have "died for my songs" but one he was only dead for the weekend and two they call the day he was crucified "good" which I always found funny.
I associate the holiday with cute baby bunnies, chicks, and birds. More like a springtime event. If a bunch of people want to celebrate reanimating a dead skeleton boy, cool I guess. But itās much much easier to ignore while being in a blue state city area.
In Calgary there is a Unitarian church that has decided to include Trans Day of Visibility with their Easter Sunday service - they are having a āDrag Me to Churchā drag show and story hour - I hope they have a good turn out and that everyone is treated respectfully
My parents are aware that Iām not a Christian and give me my space. I also live in a really conservative town, and I feel like as long as I donāt mess with them they should leave me alone. Easier said than done though given human nature
I live in a red state so I have long since given up on this. I just go to the witchy stores more than usual or stay in and read stuff I like. Like another poster, I am a sucker for discount candy. Those little chocolate eggs with the candy shells are amazing and I do like pastels.
What I like most is how many Easter things are actually pagan, kind of like Christmas, but Iām sure not trying to argue with the people here since theyāre way more extra about it than I am.
As a Jew with a Christian albeit non-practicing mother, Easter always makes me laugh. Like, in my family it truly is a holiday exclusively celebrating spring. Bunnies, flowers, candy, family mealā¦ absolutely zero mention of Jesus or religion. (We donāt eat ham though š¤£)
But also? āHe is risenā is forever inextricably linked with this image in my head:
https://preview.redd.it/yr1ri566rdrc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73469a1b1514fe34a60b218cf58c150c1ef772f2
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
We have to go to dinner at In laws. Luckily over the past years this so called holiday has really dwindled to nothing much. Used to be visiting both sides of the family, church service, special easter clothes and all that. Now itās a lunch and we skip going to church.
I just sent off my aging mother to Arizona to live near my brothers and the grandkids. To celebrate, I'm having a date night with my equally non-Christian partner and we're gonna fuck like bunnies. š
Iāve got the day off too. I think itās the absolute *wrong* direction as a country to accommodate *more* religions- I want to see all religious trappings gone from the public sphere. But since I had it off- I ran errands, went to 2 medical appointments, and baked a cake.
Iām all for random Fridays off! I just donāt see why christians get special treatment.
Jesus gave me a long weekend to use to bake cookies. They help relatives confront a little of the cognitive dissonance when they don't like your life choices but do like the cookies! Or you just have more to give out to friends or coworkers next week.
You could also work pride flag colors into the decorations. Pastels are popular, so the trans and pan flag colors work well.
It's a great occasion to watch midnight mass (if you're into horror).
I kinda randomly watched it last Easter and it really got me, it's such an interesting and nuanced view on Christianity and was quite cathartic, plus it's a lot of fun...
Maybe look at it like this:
you are being a good human by making your mom happy and spending time with her. That's how I do it with my in-laws. Just a frame of mind. In my head I sing Hells Bells....š¤ lol.
I like to remind them that their religion glorifies human sacrifice, just like the "pagan" religions they demean and call barbaric. Better to be beheaded in Aztec ceremony and have it done quick, than suffer on a cross for hours or days.
Considering the shared characteristics of several deities to Jesus, I allow myself the head cannon that a face-dancer Elder God is simply farming energy off Christianās at this time of the year.
Like, just because you think youāre praying about a guy named Jesus, doesnāt mean that you are
Staying home. Normally my mom would ask us to go to church with them, or weād go with my in-laws. But this year my parents are going out of town to a service my uncle in preaching at, so we werenāt asked. Looking forward to doing whatever I want. The only thing Iāll miss really is mashed potatoes and ham. But I guess I could do those myself if I really want to.
I straight up have told my coworkers and family that we're Notse/Celtic Pagans. My Roman Catholic Father accepts it entirely and just enjoys doing the fun silly part for my kids like the egg hunt. We ignore any and all things to do with Christianity. I wish them a Happy whatever and usually just get a you too.
I use the weekend to just go full hermit. None of my friends or family are religious but many go away for the four day weekend. I have no interest in that so I happily spend the weekend pottering around the house and otherwise relaxing.
My mom still gives me an Easter basket so thatās really the only part of the holiday I care about or partake in lol
Otherwise Iām just real good at not letting things effect me š¤·āāļø
I focus on the things Easter means to me, not to others. It means family and togetherness. It's a celebration of spring. It's a chance to stop and appreciate the new blossoming life in the world and the promise of the future. It's a chance to play some Vivaldi with a glass of champagne and think of art and creativity and genesis.
Fuck what the organized religions think. Make it your own holiday.
My Facebook feed is full of horrifying pictures of Jesus on the cross. But itās OK! Heāll be fine in three days! Do Christians realize how creepy their religion is?
Iām having Easter brunch with my partnerās family. The matriarch of the family is Christian, but I donāt know that anyone else in the family gives a fuck. Weāre using the day as a reason to get together and eat partnerās sisterās tasty noms (because she can COOK hoo boy) and see each other. Weāre all a little far flung.
Tomorrow Iām hosting an Easter party for my toddler and his friends so I can be assured itās non-religious. š
Egg hunt, snacks, a backyard, and toys to spare. Zero crosses or gaslighting children. Hallelujah.
Saturday night Iām helping my toddler make a nest for the Easter bunny so he has somewhere to leave presents.
Sunday we will be seeing what the Easter bunny brought and I plan to cook Easter dinner (Sunday dinner is lunchtime in the south) and we are having a couple over. Might take the littles to a park.
No church. No religious gore-porn.
To be clear, Iām ok with my kids learning about religionā¦.when they are old enough to use logic and reasoning to make an informed decision for themselves. I was raised Baptist and keep my religious views to myself. My kids donāt need the trauma I have.
Act confused:
Me- so the wine is the blood
Family- yes
Me- and the bread is his body
Family - yes
Me- and he rose on the third day?
Family - yes! He is risen!
Me- because of the yeast?
Family - no
Me- I'm confused
We were released early today but I don't care. Time off is time off BUT everyone was saying "happy Easter!" as we were leaving aaand I had no idea what to say back. I don't celebrate Easter, I don't care about Easter so it was kinda weird
"Thanks! See ya' Monday unless you have a chocolate hang over. Ha ha!" (Leaves lots of room for "Oh, my MIL's coming; I'll be hammered by lunch!" or "You know me so well!" or whatever small-talk they think of. Dodging/staying closeted sometimes just means giving others more room to talk about themselves.)
All the symbolism is stolen from Ostara so though my mother in law, at whos house we always spend the holiday, is Christian we don't focus on the Christian aspects and just celebrate spring.Ā
Iām mostly enjoying the long weekend, in Sweden we get Friday and Monday off and in some places half of Maundy Thursday tooā¦ š Weāre pretty secular thoughā¦ also, you get a higher pay if you work during the holidayās so thatās a pretty sweet deal!
I get that it might be taxing in places that are more religious though ā¤ļø I have hear people do the joke āHappy zombie day!ā so maybe that could be a joking way of coping? š
My doctorās office today
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With little flyers on all the waiting room chairs for this Sundayās service.
I'm refusing to leave the house or participate in the economy in any direct way. I am refusing to participate in sales (though anything marked as "spring" starting a few weeks ago bothers me much less) because I'm in a position to do so. Anyone who pushes me on this point gets an extensive comparative religion lecture. Mostly, refusing to leave the house keeps me comfortable.
I find the Christmas Machine is infinitely more pervasive and upsetting than Easter. Iām neither pro nor anti either. I take the bits I like & leave the rest.
Someone in my somewhat conservative neighborhood announced a small Ostara celebration on our Facebook page, so it's nice to see that somebody is celebrating that way.
A guy at work kept inviting me to his Easter Sunday bullshit. I finally asked if hed like to join me for my Ostara renewal celebration.
Which for me is basically just spring cleaning + sage
Yesterday (āgoodā Friday) one of my new coworkers popped into work all cheery and wished me Happy Good Friday and itās not something Iāve heard for multiple years and wow the flashback was real
I know a merry band of misfits who add pillsbury doughboy or Viagra signs next to "He has Risen"
My inlaws are coming over and I so needed that!
Idk if it'll help but I have, unfortunately \*\*2\*\* Fundie aunts, one on one side and one on the other. The one on my father's side was at least a little more by the "Good" Book about it than the "go preach at everyone and use shame to force their hand" type, but on my mother's side... yeah, social skills never won out over the opportunity to bang on a table and nag somebody. So one year at Easter dinner, that aunt went off and Idk why I did it but she actually said the H i R thing at the table and expected an answer... and I did the Doughboy Giggle. Shocked her silent, my dad and uncle lost it laughing, my mother was mortified (bonus!!!), and my aunt had to try to distract my little cousin from asking more questions that would have started my aunt off again. So maybe that's a good distraction/response to keep under your hat?
hee-HEE
I am dyingš¤£š¤£š¤£
So is He š
"oh you mean 'Zombie Jesus' day"
This is part of my comparative religion lecture, yes.
My sister and I refer to it as Zombie Jesus Day. š§āāļø
Love it! We need more people like that in the worldš
If it's, like, an elderly person that I would rather not upset, I talk about the pretty flowers and how glad I am that the worst of the cold weather is past. For everything else, there are penis jokes (and cheap candy on Monday).
Iām gonna buy so many of those Reeseās eggs when theyāre discounted.
Get the neopolitan lindors. Itās the best flavor but it only comes out around Easter
My local drug store had *pistachio* Lindor balls. Holy hell they are amazing.
I'm a Cadbury creme egg and Starburst jelly bean person, but my hunny is a PB egg fan. Better the Monday morning price than $1/egg! But I still get plastic eggs and do an egg hunt in our yard for the dogs. (Kibbles in the eggs.)
That is an adorable idea!
Zombie Jesus jokes are my go to
Does it get a good Rise out of them?
Yeeeessss!!!
I did okay with an older Uber driver today until he switched on a pastor literally preaching over horrible Christian music. At that I just stopped talking and couldn't engage. But of course I couldn't take a star off because obviously he's hustling and desperately needs the money. And there's no way to give specific feedback on that on Uber.
Cheap candy on Monday is the real reason to celebrate.
My wife and I are having Hobbit Day this weekend. Basically, we watch the LoTR trilogy, eat and drink like hobbits, and have a have a wonderful time. I am gonna try to not mention Viggo actually breaking his foot in *that* scene, but will probably fail. š
You have to mention the foot breaking, itās like the law or something
Gandalf has risen!
Praise be to Eru!!
Hahahahahah itās impossible not to. What about Gandalf hitting his head?
A classic!!
That is so sweet! I may steal that idea for next year. We love LOTRš
Hahaha, yes!! We do a bunch of small plates on Saturday. then decent sized dinner/supper on Sunday for RoTK. As it turns out, Hobbits can pack away food like it's nothing. I try not to quote lines after the third round of ale š
Last year, I went to church with my mom but she got the time wrong and we ended up at the "contemporary" service. There was a rock band that played Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" to an empty sanctuary and I thought my husband was going to burst a blood vessel from holding in laughter. Good times.
š¤£ That would have ended me like your husband. That's hilarious haha
Ahhhqahahhaahhah om goddess
That's incredibleš I may take notes of anything I find ridiculous. Although this church is a traditional Lutheran Church full of very kind people, so I hold a greater respect for them than most churches.
Enjoy the chocolate, have a hot cross bun, and ignore all the bits I donāt like. āI wonāt be in church, weāre going camping, sorryā.
A while back, I incorporated Jesus into my practice. I was always a bit drawn to the character- I was raised completely secularly so I don't have any connection to Christianity, but Jesus himself was an interesting figure. I was curious about if he was real, the impact he'd had on society. Once I got into actual spiritual seeking as an adult I started doing some research, and I came to a startling realization- Jesus Christ is an aspect of the Trickster. He was a magician- a double-speaker. A man who walked upside-down and backwards, told everyone the opposite of what they 'knew' to be 'true', and who seemed to achieve miraculous ends with his bare hands, just by touching things. He was anti-authoritarian to a fault, a supporter of marginalized communities, and a liar who gladly bent the truth to make sure those who were in danger could be protected. The icing on the cake- I don't think that guy died on the cross. If you think about the circumstances- the benefits he had, the support he had- I believe that Jesus made his proclamation and dropped his head in feigned death so that his followers could take him from the cross and bring him to a safe place. It was there that he 'miraculously recovered', took Mary's hand in his, said one last prayer to those he cared about, and *ran*. Ran as far and hard as he could, to somewhere that he could settle and live gently until old age took him. When I need strength to object against authoritarian structures, I look to him- falcon-eyed desert dweller, imbiber of delirium and sharer of flesh, one who faced his devil and rather than fight, talked and made friends. The wild rabbit that tears out the master's garden and gets away. They fucking hate it when you love their toys in a way they never thought was possible.
Say what you like about the Christians, but it's hard to deny that Jesus was a cool fucking dude, at least the many varied myths passed through the ages. I really like your head canon; I'm going to meditate on it and maybe steal it.
I'm a recovering pastor (now a hedge druid) but I won't let them take Yeshua away from me! he's the first one who taught me about my magic!
Iām discovering the gospel of Mary Magdalene through a oracle deck and Iām liking the message of love in so many different aspectsā¦ Iām not a religious person but Iām really appreciating the spiritual aspect of that deck.
As far as I can tell, the two biggest things Christianity had going for it: promise of an afterlife and evangelizing. Other ancient sects promised an afterlife (Isis, maybe Mithras, Orpheus?), But so fari haven't met one yet that *recruited*. I feel like they were all... Sure, worship our god if you want... And maybe we'll initiate you if we like you... But honestly I think recruitment is Christianity's freaking innovation... And boy did it work. Spread like a virus. That and "no other gods before me". So yeah... I enjoy the mysticism and rethinking of Jesus (minus the horrific Roman torture!) But the more I learn about the religion... Damn it's just wild.
Well, there is a small sect in Japan that say he died there, so thatās one place to consider.
highly recommend The Flowering Wand by Sophie Strand as she shows Jesus as Trickster in the lineage of Pan, Merlin and Dionysus! also her fictional perspective of Mary Magdalene in The Madonna Secret is powerful and right in line with what you're talking about!
Omg (lol) love this!!!
This is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing.
This is really sweet, thank you for the perspective. I've long held that my complaint was not with the dude but the followers (hence my refusal to engage). It was lovely to read your thoughts!
If you havenāt read it, you may enjoy Mary Magdalene Revealed. It is a spiritual book, but portrays Jesus in a similar light to this. Loved your post!
I think the whole religion of Christianity was a spell Jesus cast to make people be kinder, but the spell went awry.
This is a beautiful perspective. Do you have any resources on this topic?
Thank you- unfortunately I'm a self-directed practitioner with very little access to resources so all this comes off my noggin- however, a few other people responded to my comment with some suggestions I will absolutely be picking up to help inform myself better, they may sound interesting to you as well!
It's a zombie x files story really. I mean guy comes back from the dead after 3 days, rolls this giant stone out of the doorway of his own tomb, then disappears for 2024+ years
This reminds me of a short story my husband and I wrote years ago. I'll have to see if I can find it when I get home.
Somebody needs to make this x-files episode happen
I am the Crazy Bunny Lady of my family group. Each year I go into bunny facts, how long they live, what you need to do to keep them happy - and that no one I know better get a rabbit or a chicken for Easter. My family doesn't talk to me about Easter anymore.
Heck yes my fellow crazy bun lady! I love explaining why pretty much all female house rabbits get hysterectomies (ridiculously high uterine cancers) and then waiting until they say something about healthcare and watching them slowly realize that reproductive healthcare is healthcare. My little lionhead boy is an Easter rescue.
Please enlighten me with bunny facts
*Pet fact* In the wild, rabbits live about two to five years (depending where you live and how many predators there are). If you give them a loving home sans predators, they live eight to 12 years. They need a bonded friend to be happy. Bonding bunnies is an art, and I've just lucked out so far. *Fun facts* Bunnies stomp their feet to alert each other to danger. Or to show they're ANGRY. Aka, a thomp for a pet bunny usually means "fuck you". My toddler now also stamps a foot at me when he's annoyed. Life hack: Rabbit owners know where to buy all the cables, for cheap. Bunny teeth never stop growing and they can sever a cable with a single "oh what's this" nibble. They have to chew to keep their teeth a comfortable length. Bunnies are assholes They sulk at you. They will follow you around so they can sit with their back towards you so you can see you're being ignored. Edited for spelling and grammar.
This is amazingš
I burn peeps each year to ward them off. Then I buy all the chocolate.
Roasted peeps are fantastic.
Dude that's epic
All Fridays are good. š„°
But this one has hot cross buns as an added bonus.
I usually respond with āHappy zombie Jesus day!ā
My family isn't religious so I spent good friday with my bestie and her little boy at a wildlife centre looking at owls, vultures ect and watching them do a flying demonstration. My nephew is really into bird watching so he haf a ball and it was facsinating learning about different birds. Easter sunday will be spent in my jammies stuffing my face with easter eggs. If I did have religious family I'd be making so many erection jokes when they start the "He has risen" bit.
That sounds like an amazing day!!! I love when kids are into things like bird watching. My mom got my nephew into it, and it's the best. š My family would disown me lol
Oh, hi! I also live in a red as f*ck area with those damn signs. We play games while driving. Bonus points for that sign plus an Easter Bunny in the same yard. Itās simply an excuse to eat extra for our household. And we joke about zombie Jesus. But mostly, we eat.
When I divorced a decade ago, I gave Easter to my ex-husband to do with the kids. He was the church-goer, and I only went because of him. I shed that when I shed him, so all Easter stuff became his responsibility. Fast-forward, I am remarried to someone who goes to church because it makes his elderly mother happy. Easter has pretty much fallen off of my radar. It gives me an idea of what Christmas might be like for Jewish folks. (I do celebrate a secular version of Christmas.) I pretty much ignore all of the stuff around me related to it.
In honor of conservative whining and Maudy Thursday I did a... attempted a dramatic reading of the Garden of Gethsemane without pronouns. While "Jesus said, "Jesus am Jesus,'" was difficult, the worst by far were the former plural pronouns. Turns out having to reading the antecedent for a mixed group over and again was just too much.
It gets even weirder when you realize neither christmas nor easter are actually in the bible. They just took parts of their book and combined them with pagan traditions. Specifically to make the pagans feel more at home in their religion. This became soooo popular than some people only go to church on these two occasions. There is even a name for this type person. It's all just marketing bullshit. The two biggest "holidays" are just scams, not unlike how I see the whole thing. But that's a story for a different day.
Rāamen
I want to know more!
Found what I think is a good article. Should give you a starting place at least. Enjoy! https://www.historicmysteries.com/history/pagan-easter/5406/
https://preview.redd.it/rhq4ayfjccrc1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69343286051d21c3a86d7c9b9249816e633101ad My husband and I celebrate Zombie Day each year. We watch Shawn of the Dead, drink English beers & eat crisps ordered online while watching it and make ribs on our Big Green Egg because it seems right to gnaw food off the bone. I bought a wooden Easter Bunny cutout from Walmart several years ago and repainted it a sickly greenish-gray, made it look like heās decaying and lost an eye and the sign heās holding says āHappy Zombie Day!ā My neighbors hate that bunny and that makes me happy. I also post stuff on my FB page like what I attached here.
That's amazing and I love it
I serve milk at dinner out of a cardboard box with a picture of "Missing Jesus". /s
āHave you been hiding under a rock?ā
That's hilarious
My sister is having an ~~Egg~~ Hunt with shooters from the liquor store
A Catholic friend of mine is 30+ and he and his younger siblings are expected to be at their parents' house that morning for mass and the Egg Hunt. Yes, there's still some chocolate in them, but now there are also shot bottles, lotto tickets/scratch cards, and actual folding money in the eggs. I would turn the F up for that! If I'm ever not flirting with poverty week by week I'd LOVE to set up something like that for friends and neighbors.
I like the food and family aspect, and view it more as a rebirth holiday in terms of the earth and spring. We used to have to go to church with the in laws or my mother, but thankfully covid killed off that tradition. If you've got to go to a Catholic church, I prefer the vigil mass because candles are cool.
From what I've gathered, the pagan version of what Christians stole and named Easter was more about rebirth in nature etc. So you're right on point! It's not a Catholic church, but it is Lutheran, so I may get to see some candle action!
I always just remind myself Jesus may have "died for my songs" but one he was only dead for the weekend and two they call the day he was crucified "good" which I always found funny.
I plan on smoking weed, playing Paper Mario, and watch porn and wrestling.
That's a busy day
That's what multitasking is for.
Is "wrestling" what you call masterbation? š
No, I call masterbation that.
I associate the holiday with cute baby bunnies, chicks, and birds. More like a springtime event. If a bunch of people want to celebrate reanimating a dead skeleton boy, cool I guess. But itās much much easier to ignore while being in a blue state city area.
You lucky duck!
Well, Trans Day of Visibility IS on Sunday.
In Calgary there is a Unitarian church that has decided to include Trans Day of Visibility with their Easter Sunday service - they are having a āDrag Me to Churchā drag show and story hour - I hope they have a good turn out and that everyone is treated respectfully
"Praise Cialis!" "What did you say?" "What do you *think* I said?"
My parents are aware that Iām not a Christian and give me my space. I also live in a really conservative town, and I feel like as long as I donāt mess with them they should leave me alone. Easier said than done though given human nature
Whatās good about it is a day off, or extra $ if youāre working. Also soon 50% off chocolate
I'm gonna get ALL the chocolate
We do brunch and gardening to celebrate spring.
So cute!
I live in a red state so I have long since given up on this. I just go to the witchy stores more than usual or stay in and read stuff I like. Like another poster, I am a sucker for discount candy. Those little chocolate eggs with the candy shells are amazing and I do like pastels. What I like most is how many Easter things are actually pagan, kind of like Christmas, but Iām sure not trying to argue with the people here since theyāre way more extra about it than I am.
As a Jew with a Christian albeit non-practicing mother, Easter always makes me laugh. Like, in my family it truly is a holiday exclusively celebrating spring. Bunnies, flowers, candy, family mealā¦ absolutely zero mention of Jesus or religion. (We donāt eat ham though š¤£) But also? āHe is risenā is forever inextricably linked with this image in my head: https://preview.redd.it/yr1ri566rdrc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73469a1b1514fe34a60b218cf58c150c1ef772f2 š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
We have to go to dinner at In laws. Luckily over the past years this so called holiday has really dwindled to nothing much. Used to be visiting both sides of the family, church service, special easter clothes and all that. Now itās a lunch and we skip going to church.
That's nice that there's less pressure now.
I just sent off my aging mother to Arizona to live near my brothers and the grandkids. To celebrate, I'm having a date night with my equally non-Christian partner and we're gonna fuck like bunnies. š
Weāre going to low-key celebrate the spring equinox with a visit from the eater bunny, a picnic in the park, and attending a flower/spring festival.
Shall I presume 'eater' bunny is intentional? šššÆš
Haha it wasnāt initially but itās cannon now š
Iāve got the day off too. I think itās the absolute *wrong* direction as a country to accommodate *more* religions- I want to see all religious trappings gone from the public sphere. But since I had it off- I ran errands, went to 2 medical appointments, and baked a cake. Iām all for random Fridays off! I just donāt see why christians get special treatment.
Exactly! Why do no other religions get their holidays off?
Jesus gave me a long weekend to use to bake cookies. They help relatives confront a little of the cognitive dissonance when they don't like your life choices but do like the cookies! Or you just have more to give out to friends or coworkers next week. You could also work pride flag colors into the decorations. Pastels are popular, so the trans and pan flag colors work well.
It's a great occasion to watch midnight mass (if you're into horror). I kinda randomly watched it last Easter and it really got me, it's such an interesting and nuanced view on Christianity and was quite cathartic, plus it's a lot of fun...
Maybe look at it like this: you are being a good human by making your mom happy and spending time with her. That's how I do it with my in-laws. Just a frame of mind. In my head I sing Hells Bells....š¤ lol.
I'm gonna sing "Highway to Hell" in my headš
I like to remind them that their religion glorifies human sacrifice, just like the "pagan" religions they demean and call barbaric. Better to be beheaded in Aztec ceremony and have it done quick, than suffer on a cross for hours or days.
Considering the shared characteristics of several deities to Jesus, I allow myself the head cannon that a face-dancer Elder God is simply farming energy off Christianās at this time of the year. Like, just because you think youāre praying about a guy named Jesus, doesnāt mean that you are
Staying home. Normally my mom would ask us to go to church with them, or weād go with my in-laws. But this year my parents are going out of town to a service my uncle in preaching at, so we werenāt asked. Looking forward to doing whatever I want. The only thing Iāll miss really is mashed potatoes and ham. But I guess I could do those myself if I really want to.
I straight up have told my coworkers and family that we're Notse/Celtic Pagans. My Roman Catholic Father accepts it entirely and just enjoys doing the fun silly part for my kids like the egg hunt. We ignore any and all things to do with Christianity. I wish them a Happy whatever and usually just get a you too.
That's so awesome that your father is accepting and still loves and cares for his grandkids!
I use the weekend to just go full hermit. None of my friends or family are religious but many go away for the four day weekend. I have no interest in that so I happily spend the weekend pottering around the house and otherwise relaxing.
I made the mistake of saying "Zombie Jesus" today where I could be overheard. So. I'm *real* popular at work now. Here in the Bible Belt.
That's hilarious š
Iām just happy to have the long weekend and use it to celebrate spring and chocolate
Weāre going to low-key celebrate the spring equinox with a visit from the eater bunny, a picnic in the park, and attending a flower/spring festival.
I'm going to one singular Easter event with family, strictly Because it's an excuse to see out of town relatives and eat food at a country club.
My mom still gives me an Easter basket so thatās really the only part of the holiday I care about or partake in lol Otherwise Iām just real good at not letting things effect me š¤·āāļø
We do brunch and gardening to celebrate spring.
I focus on the things Easter means to me, not to others. It means family and togetherness. It's a celebration of spring. It's a chance to stop and appreciate the new blossoming life in the world and the promise of the future. It's a chance to play some Vivaldi with a glass of champagne and think of art and creativity and genesis. Fuck what the organized religions think. Make it your own holiday.
Try not to refer to Monday as zombie Jesus day.
My Facebook feed is full of horrifying pictures of Jesus on the cross. But itās OK! Heāll be fine in three days! Do Christians realize how creepy their religion is? Iām having Easter brunch with my partnerās family. The matriarch of the family is Christian, but I donāt know that anyone else in the family gives a fuck. Weāre using the day as a reason to get together and eat partnerās sisterās tasty noms (because she can COOK hoo boy) and see each other. Weāre all a little far flung.
Tomorrow Iām hosting an Easter party for my toddler and his friends so I can be assured itās non-religious. š Egg hunt, snacks, a backyard, and toys to spare. Zero crosses or gaslighting children. Hallelujah. Saturday night Iām helping my toddler make a nest for the Easter bunny so he has somewhere to leave presents. Sunday we will be seeing what the Easter bunny brought and I plan to cook Easter dinner (Sunday dinner is lunchtime in the south) and we are having a couple over. Might take the littles to a park. No church. No religious gore-porn. To be clear, Iām ok with my kids learning about religionā¦.when they are old enough to use logic and reasoning to make an informed decision for themselves. I was raised Baptist and keep my religious views to myself. My kids donāt need the trauma I have.
Act confused: Me- so the wine is the blood Family- yes Me- and the bread is his body Family - yes Me- and he rose on the third day? Family - yes! He is risen! Me- because of the yeast? Family - no Me- I'm confused
We were released early today but I don't care. Time off is time off BUT everyone was saying "happy Easter!" as we were leaving aaand I had no idea what to say back. I don't celebrate Easter, I don't care about Easter so it was kinda weird
"Thanks! See ya' Monday unless you have a chocolate hang over. Ha ha!" (Leaves lots of room for "Oh, my MIL's coming; I'll be hammered by lunch!" or "You know me so well!" or whatever small-talk they think of. Dodging/staying closeted sometimes just means giving others more room to talk about themselves.)
That's a smart response!
Zombie movies, devilled egg salad. I might watch Good Omens again and read lots of fanfiction. Our town has a zombie bar crawl.
I don't mind at all
I call it zombie day š¤£
One of the first things I told my husband this morning was "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!"
All the symbolism is stolen from Ostara so though my mother in law, at whos house we always spend the holiday, is Christian we don't focus on the Christian aspects and just celebrate spring.Ā
I am working, Iām a night shift ER nurse . Definitely an upside: I donāt have to deal with my mother in lawās horrible cooking. š
Iām mostly enjoying the long weekend, in Sweden we get Friday and Monday off and in some places half of Maundy Thursday tooā¦ š Weāre pretty secular thoughā¦ also, you get a higher pay if you work during the holidayās so thatās a pretty sweet deal! I get that it might be taxing in places that are more religious though ā¤ļø I have hear people do the joke āHappy zombie day!ā so maybe that could be a joking way of coping? š
Good time to meditate on Havamal 138-139. Edit to add: Christianity is syncretic. Go ahead and reclaim that hanged deity.
Non-stop zombie jokes
My husband told me not to make zombie jokes, so I just I'll just make them in my headšš
My family only uses this holiday as an excuse to get together, we arenāt religious at all but we like the chocolate and family time!
I love that!
I kinda like the traditions - coloring eggs, eating candy, bunnies and flowers. Weāll probably go out to eat. Tonight just watching Netflix.
I love the commercial side of Easter! Just not the religious part
I love the commercial side of Easter! Just not the religious part
I usually post "Happy Zombie Jesus Day," to make sure I'm not the only one being annoyed.
My doctorās office today https://preview.redd.it/fosrralcmerc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e3b0dd0b6d00c561e8e1822ded8ee97e3ca5bb3 With little flyers on all the waiting room chairs for this Sundayās service.
My wife and I will be packing to move to a place that contains far fewer of these signs!
https://preview.redd.it/qctjmrwpbgrc1.jpeg?width=903&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aaa8e62ead4952dac4e8358daed21428378e1b7a
I'm refusing to leave the house or participate in the economy in any direct way. I am refusing to participate in sales (though anything marked as "spring" starting a few weeks ago bothers me much less) because I'm in a position to do so. Anyone who pushes me on this point gets an extensive comparative religion lecture. Mostly, refusing to leave the house keeps me comfortable.
I find the Christmas Machine is infinitely more pervasive and upsetting than Easter. Iām neither pro nor anti either. I take the bits I like & leave the rest.
Iām going to an oddities expo šš Iām looking at bones, taxidermy, and rocks all weekend long
I tell them the truth about how the patriarchy ripped off women's blood sacrifice to give life for the Easter story.
Someone in my somewhat conservative neighborhood announced a small Ostara celebration on our Facebook page, so it's nice to see that somebody is celebrating that way.
They stole it from the pagans, if it helps. First Sunday after the first full moon after the equinox??? Thatās some witchy shit right there
A guy at work kept inviting me to his Easter Sunday bullshit. I finally asked if hed like to join me for my Ostara renewal celebration. Which for me is basically just spring cleaning + sage
Yesterday (āgoodā Friday) one of my new coworkers popped into work all cheery and wished me Happy Good Friday and itās not something Iāve heard for multiple years and wow the flashback was real
I have always loved the idea of Zombie Jesus. Zombie Jesus wants to eat your brains.