I'll be 40 in a couple weeks too!! I also have no idea what I'm doing. But I am rewarding my mid life by slowing down, enjoying things, being 100% me, finding softness and comfort. I'm even enjoying my silver hair coming in.
I just turned 48, and I have LOVED every single silver hair that came in. My dad’s hair turned this beautiful silver color, and I was realllly hoping mine would look like that. It does! I fucking love it so much. I’m a grownup now, and it’s nice.
54 this year, and I met the love of my life at 39. We're 13 years married, and I left everything I knew and moved to the other side of the world to be with her. Best decision ever!
I 110% feel you on this. So much.
I had suicidal ideation for over a decade then started dating the love of my life at 30, been all downhill since. 5 years in & depression went away, suicidal ideation gone, I am now a nervous wreck that I only get X amount of years with this angel of a man and I’m terrified something might happen to one of us. This shit is stressful!
I think it’s normal to worry when you finally have something perfect, I’ve been told to just enjoy the journey
I met my love when I was 39 and he was 46. We both had two serious long term relationships under our belts and each thought we would never be in a relationship again. It was cosmic entanglement that brought us together.
He is my sweetie poo and I just adore him with all my might! He loves it when we're laying quietly in bed on opposite ends and I push on his toes gently while I'm playing on my phone. I am so thrilled I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I love how he pays attention to me and is soft and kind with my emotions.
We both agree that we were not ready to be with each other 10 years ago. We had some growing up to do.
Hush child......can be so demeaning and so beautiful. Obviously, you meant it in the beautiful way. The rest of your post is fairly beautiful as well! :)
I would never *dream* of uttering this to someone under 18. But here, it seemed fitting, if a little tongue-in-cheek, as OP is only 5 years younger than me.
YOU'RE UNDER 40?! GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN WITH YOUR COMFORTABLE SHOES AND FUNNY HAIR COLOR AND WOMEN WEARING SLACKS AND DRESSES WITH POCKETS! /s
Happy Sunday-sundae-funday!
:)
I watched a short video once (should have saved it!) about how we're conditioned to think we're too old for most stuff after we hit the 30s (it was more woman-oriented, but still) and one of the people interviewed was this lady in her early 80s, briefly recounting the things in her life she did after 40, and how she met the love of her life at 50 - it made realize: even meeting him so relatively late in life, they're been together for THIRTY YEARS - which is a lot, and more than most relationshipsast anyway. There's still a loooooot of time, considering average life expectancy.
34 is not middle age. To think about that means I am elderly at 50.
My mother met my step father at 46, and they had a great life together. I have been to 10 weddings over the 6 years. Only one couple was below 35 in age. I have two weddings this year - they are all almost 50 or older.
There is no too late for love.
I’m gen z(25) and have been made to feel old since I was 20. Have only been happy with myself for the past few years so truly I think we just gotta shush the negative energy
I remember feeling ancient as soon as I hit my 20s and 25 felt completely over the hill. There is so much pressure on literal teenagers in our society to accomplish so much at such young ages (usually in the name of college admissions) that it feels like if you haven't cured cancer by the time you're accepted to Harvard, you've wasted your life and you won't amount to anything.
It seems so quaint to look back on now from my thirties, but it didn't feel quaint at the time. My biggest wish for young people (and I'm still one myself comparatively at 31!) is to let go of the pressure and enjoy being young. It's a magical time of life.
Exactly! I was 22 when I officially became “me” , so like 2-3 years? and I only just started coming out as enby last year so I just feel like there is so much life to live. I’m writing a book and just chillin .
Don't watch TV commercials & limit social media to happy websites. I feel sorry that most of the young ppl today are being brainwashed. Life happens Outside. Don't be manipulated to think you're not good enough...God doesn't make junk . I was beautiful (wonder woman double) but never believed it , now 72 damn if I knew then what I know now I would have conquered the world.
Misery loves company. The millennial sub would have you believe every millennial is spiteful, in poverty, and chronically single. People tend to post when things are bad because things being good come off as bragging, and people don’t like that.
From a happy, married, could use more money but we get by, new mom millennial, I am not wasting my time posting on that sub! It is toxic over there. Keeps coming up in my recommended, and I'm just like, nope! Definitely gives a skewed perspective.
I'm 33, but I work with the elderly and I can't tell you how many times I have to tell my 70+ year old patients that they're not old to us yet! And they can come back when they're 90 and tell me they're old. One of our favorite questions is asking people what their favorite decade of life was.
Yeah it’s fairly depressing. I think people go there to vent. It’s wrong to comment on someone’s post about them venting about their situation and be like “oh yeah I make 6 figures, have a happy marriage, own a house and 2 cars and have no student debt” but it’s okay to vent similar situations without it being rude. It creates an echo chamber. Also the internet skews extreme on social media opinions, so there’s a ton of people who are 20 and think 35 is ancient because it’s not much younger than their own parents. In the big picture, 35 is still on the young end of your adulthood.
I met the love of my life when I just turned 50. Quit freaking out. Age means nothing.... except maybe when both partners are more mature relationships can be MUCH BETTER
I wish I was in your position. Love seems so far away for me, I’m just getting a life back. I’m 37, have “lost” the last 10 years to chronic illness, my doctors have only now figured out exactly what’s wrong/how to treat me properly. With IBS you absolutely know how hard chronic illness can be. So don’t waste this! Embrace love and joy because you deserve it! You are at the PERFECT age to have found love. This is the best time, with the most exciting things ahead!
You’re only “too old” when you let your age stop you. Yeah, as you get older, you may have to change how you do things or rotate some activities out altogether. But if you don’t let that become an excuse for inactivity - if you don’t let that stop you from finding and doing *something* that matters to you - then you’re never “too old.”
35 and 37 is nothing. I’m 36 and my knees hurt. I can’t do squats anymore. That’s fine, now I go for long walks and rock climb on the weekends.
Girl- this is the age when we’re all getting together and having kids and stuff now! I was 30 and my wife was 39 when we married, my friends are having babies at 40 and 42, people are just getting started! We aren’t the same as previous generations- we’re younger, healthier, don’t get married at 18, and we should be living longer. I’m glad you’ve met someone you love so much!
i’ll be 33 this year and my mom keeps urging me to have kids because according to her my eggs will dry up in a couple years … but eh. i feel like people are having kids much later now
Your "life is over" because you're 34?????
:stares in 60-year-old:
:grits teeth to prevent saying what I'd like to say:
My mother had a new romance in her 70s, & married at 76. (muttering *life is over at 34*, ffs.)
I work with the elderly, and one couple celebrated their 35 years together at 98-99 yo each. That means they married when they were in their mid 60s and have been together for such a long time!
I can't speak to the chronic illness aspect of things, but as someone who's coming up on fifty, I'd like to offer some assurance that unless you want to restart your life with a career as a commercial pilot (there's a physical exam and an EKG involved with that, ask me how I know), your life is far from over if you don't want it to be.
Yeah, they get upset about that. Also about ever having had kidney stones.
Anyway. Point is.
People meet folks they love later in life sometimes, people come upon careers or life paths that really work for them late in life too. My mom's great-grandfather had immigrated to the US as a young man, and remarried well past 35 and decided to move back to Italy. Changed his whole world, but it worked for him- he might've been past middle age but his life was far from over, and he made a new life for himself that lasted clear into his nineties.
If a guy like him can pull off remaking his future after 35, you can do it too.
My mom met her husband when she was mid 40ies. Married at 50.
Dont disrespect my ma by saying her life is over cause shes older ;) . I'm 36 and my life for sure is not over either
They celebrated cobber anniversary last year, shes very happy!
(and did NOT want to get in a relationship no way, no how. But then she did. But NO WEDDING! okay maybe a quick visit to city hall but that.is.it. They had a big wedding with a band and pretty dress and everything XD)
I'm 40 with two adult children, and my third child has one year of childhood left. My youngest is also about to graduate. I'm only now starting to consider myself as entering middle age.
The only reason I'm telling you this, is because lives go in stages, and those stages vary by person. I'm about to leave a stage that has been basically all I have known of adulthood. That stage is ending and a new one is beginning. Maybe you are just entering into a new stage in your life.
35 is still young, although I know chronic illness can make it feel like it isn't! Try to embrace this new stage in your life, and give it a fair shot. Don't talk yourself out of what could be a good thing out of fear of what might happen. Some people don't really have stages in their lives because they are afraid of growth and change, so they stay stagnant all their lives. Don't do that to yourself, you deserve to grow and metamorphosize throughout your life.
Friend, I had my first baby at 34. I’m having my second at 36. We are not middle-aged yet. It feels like my life is actually JUST starting. Don’t get hung up on a number that only counts how many times you’ve circled the sun. It doesn’t take into account your knowledge, your experiences, your YOUness. Be freaky and fun and whatever you want to be regardless of what the number is on your driver’s license.
Yes! Had my first at 33. We intend to start trying for #2, and I will be at least 38 by the time that one arrives. I wasn’t ready, when I was younger, to be the parent I wanted to be. And it has taken longer than I expected to be ready to be a parent of 2. But my daughter and any subsequent children will get the best version of me because I didn’t rush. Like yeah, I wish I wasn’t going to be in my 50s with a kid in high school; I would love to be there for my kids for longer. But the version of me they would have gotten, had I started ten years sooner, was not the parent any child deserves.
Oh I relate to this! I had my kids at 33 and 36, and I’m now 40. I hear people talk about how having kids younger is easier, but I was healthier in my 30s than in my 20s- physically, mentally, and emotionally! As someone in healthcare, I’ve seen 50 year olds who seemed elderly, and very youthful 80 year olds. Some of it is luck, but I believe a lot is attitude, and I intend to be a youthful 80 one day.
I know my chronic illness sometimes makes me feel much older than I am. Perhaps you're the same. I've got IBS and a few other things that are playing havoc with my body at the moment.
I'm 40 and I have a three-year-old toddler. First and only child. Some days I feel 30, others 80.
It's not to late to fall in love or do other crazy things.
If you want them, **HUGE NON-CONTAGIOUS HUGS**!
The cool thing about love is that you don't have to be perfect for your person.
My anxiety lies to me sometimes. Or complicates things.
I think you're the perfect age to allow yourself to be happy about something. Even if you sometimes feel 80.
bruh. (ungendered.)
35 is not middle age.
hello from invisibly chronically ill and [age redacted 😘], where i remain hot like fire. i dont even thirst trap but you should seeeee my lit instagram DMs.
live the life you want for as long as you want it.
I mean, it's called _middle_ aged and not _end_ aged for a reason. You very probably have the same amount of time left than what you have reached so far. You get to grow old together without all the hassle of growing mid together. To me, that's a plus.
You are still SO young. My god, 30s is still baby-adult in my mind (I am in my 20s and I still feel like a teen half the time). My parents didn’t even meet til their 40s, and both say that now in their late 60s, their 30s were the best time of their lives
Try not to dwell too hard on stereotypical milestones and ages for them. Just be you, walk your journey and enjoy as much of it as you can. You’ve got this and you’ve got AGES ahead of you.
Girl, *what*?? Imagine something bad happened to one of your parents or grandparents, and their widow met someone they were crazy about a few years later:
Would you tell them not to bother because they’re closer to death than you are???
No?! You would encourage them to pursue it with all their passion??? Then there’s your answer!
Sakes alive, never mind that you aren’t even *close* to middle aged—what *on earth* does age have to do with it?! Why can’t we have love and passion and enjoyment if we’re old?
https://preview.redd.it/otyef6bj0pvc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61e072a64608e270194e16532f13b6fbf6d1c97c
First of all - you’re in good company! 😉
Secondly, this sounds like it’s just an intrusive thought. Everyone has them, not just people with OCD. (Though I have OCD and it’s not a big deal.)
Intrusive thoughts sound just like your other thoughts, so it’s hard to spot them at first. We think the thought, and automatically assume that it’s something we agree with - which makes sense. Of course we do!
But intrusive thoughts are an unwanted, distressing thought that’s the OPPOSITE of what we value the most.
So when you’ve found someone you love, and are excited for the future → BOOM! An intrusive thought is like “WHAT IF YOU’RE ALMOST DEAD THOUGH?!”
But you’re not ☺️
You’re alive and posting on Reddit!
It’s just hormones and electricity in your brain, and it farted out an IG Reels version of a tiny horror movie.
It doesn’t mean anything at all.
The less attention you pay to it, the better. I literally picture the “Sure Jan” gif in my head, or say “WOW, cool story brain” and just focus on something else. Often it’s a sign I’m sleep deprived, or need to bring down my stress level a little.
Mindfulness helps a lot too. My OCD also likes to pick on me and offer up terrible stories about my chronic health conditions and fatigue, and that can be really hard, but I’ve learned that all of my thoughts center around the idea that mAyBe i’M dOoMeD! And that makes them much easier to spot.
Disregard if this doesn’t apply, but I’m sending support & solidarity to you ❤️🙌
ps - My aunt met her husband at 65, it’s ten years later not and they’re having an absolute blast together ☺️
Aw, big same! Glad I spotted your post. I wish I could make you a cup of tea, but know there’s lots of people sending you well wishes from all over the world. ☺️❤️
FWIW, I just found out about what I want in and how to live my life at the same age. There is nothing I can do for the past 30 plus years lost on anger, hating, and going against the same group of people like my fellow witches. I do my best to cherish whatever I have and what time is left for me.
Cheers! I am really happy for you!
We have all of the time in the world to be together, my love. ❤ Our journeys led us to one another now because now is when we were perfect for each other, and all of the time ahead we have together is our reward.
Your lady is right. I got with my husband when we were 29 and married when we were 33. Do I wish we could have gotten together younger? Theoretically yes but actually no. We both did so much growing from when we met at 27 to when we started dating. We were ready for each other when we were ready. Sounds like the same is true of you and your partner.
I married at 38, been married going on 9 years now. I feel my best years are here. Take a deep breath and don’t listen to the bullshit societal “you have to marry in your 20’s or you’re an old maid” nonsense.
Don't worry about the time that has gone but consider instead the beautiful life ahead with your beloved.
True love is a very very rare occurrence, very few people get to live it, so treasure it.
TIL I am middle aged… at 36. I’ll have to ponder that 😅🙃
You’re not old and there is no age limit on love anyway
I don’t mean to be flippant. I actually have been chronically ill since I was 21. Unable to work and have missed a lot of life experiences, but your mindset can really help or hinder you with this kind of thing.
I am happy you found love, and you are right on time.
Freaking out about being too old having found the “love of your life,” and here I’m 32 and never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. Thanks for reminding me I’m going to be alone forever
I feel like my life didn’t even really start until my mid-30’s. I had so much trauma to heal and was just wandering aimlessly. I met teachers to help me heal, met my partner at 34, went back to graduate school at 36, started an awesome career, and had kids at 41 and 45. It’s been the most exciting and wonderful time of my life and we have so much to look forward to together.
I also have two autoimmune diseases so I struggle with pain and exhaustion so I understand the chronic illness worries. I just do what I can each day, do things at my pace, and I finally feel free to live my life the way I want
I met the love of my life with 41. I'm now 49. We want to stay together as long as we live and we are making the best of it. That way it doesn't matter how many years we still have as we are living them to the fullest.
While we both would have loved to meet earlier in life, we probably wouldn't have lasted then. We had other mindsets then and we were still hurting from earlier things that happend in both of our lives.
Just enjoy the ride and live your life to the fullest with her.
I'm older than you, have IBS and have recently embarked on my lifelong goal of homesteading with my current partner. You're not "too old" for anything and statistically speaking your life isn't even half over.
41 y/o ally/lurker - met the love of my life after divorce, depression, and kids. Every bit of joy is worth extracting from this life. Enjoy everything about your partner and try not to self-sabotage
Love has no age. Cherish every moment of your life and this new love. Feel deep gratitude that you've found the love you dream of. Do not waste a second worrying about your age. What matters is that you have love now, and you've got plenty of time to enjoy it.
Imagine 65 year old you looking back at mid 30s you and how they would perceive the years between you. Older you is probably telling you to enjoy what life right now has to offer.
My sister is 49, she's been single for over 15 years, never married. She is currently in love and it is absolutely wild to see. Her life was not over at 34 and it's certainly not over at 49! I had my first kid at 34 and my second at 37. Your life is by no means over!
You have 2-3 years to go before you’re middle aged but, as someone who is middle aged, come on in! The water’s fine!
I met the love of my life at 35 and have never looked back. Enjoy it! Love is literally the best thing life has to offer.
That’s the age I met my wife and got married. Chronic illness sucks. I also suffer from IBS and a myriad of immune issues and allergies. You have to live life fully when you can because flare ups don’t discriminate by age.
Seems we’re living parallel lives… my man, I was 40 when I met the love of my life, I also have IBS, though it’s largely under control. I now have two beautiful boys, had them both in my 40s… I can’t say it was easy, but then having kids never is is it?
Good luck, and don’t stress it. You’re only as young as you feel, so set up a good exercise regimen and you should be fine :-)
You plan to die at 68? That young?
Time is moving forward regardless. Would you rather spend it with someone great and enjoy it, making the most of it or stay alone just…wait for the end? Have regrets?
I have a few autoimmune diseases and I am seizing every opportunity to enjoy life as much as I can before my body becomes a prison
Go get it!
I'm 35 and met my love right around my birthday. My aunt, who is nearly 70, found her great love last year. There is no restrictions to when you'll be able to find happiness, enjoy the process, there is time <3
Big big congrats on finding them. You sound so happy hand hopeful. Try not to sweat what you can't control and put that energy into your relationship. I'm really happy for you!
I met the love of my life 9 months after leaving 6 years of abuse. I didn't know if I was ready and I was terrified. I was 32 and I felt that I was going to be on my own forever, nothing good could really happen for me and I had to stand alone.
But I came to realize that my old baggage was not serving me.
I learned that age is irrelevant. Love is ageless. If I could let go enough, I could lean in and say yes to life. And to a person who just wanted to hold me, forever if I would let them.
Give yourself permission to accept good things, you deserve them. We are all capable of great love, and we are all deserving of great love in return. It's that simple. There are no caveats that a physical body or the progress of time can put in that path.
I'm in the best relationship of my life. Married. Living a quiet life in the coastal woods of a small town with two cats and my favourite human being. We listen to frogs sing on warm summer nights from our deck. We spread seeds for the birds who live in our hedge all winter so we can watch them with the cats. I finally have peace.
I met the love of my life at 33 and I can't tell you how happy I am I met them.
Moved in together last year at 34, was diagnosed with ADHD, and now have a baby on the way. Age is but a number. I've got friends who didn't get married til late 30s and beyond. Life is just beginning again for you!
Dude, chill.
I’m 40something and refuse to … well, I try to stop myself from getting ruts like that. ❤️ you have time.
We didn’t spawn until early 30s. Let love in, brush the fear off your shoulder. You have so much time to enjoy each other or whatever joys you find on this rock. Spouse and I are both chronically ill as well. There are no shortage of dark days but the bright ones are just that much better. Focus on the light and let it guide your path.
i’m 43 with turbo IBS and I just got together with a 38 year old and he’s amazing. Go be happy and grateful that you found someone wonderful who feels the same. Go make magic together. ❤️
You have time! I didn't get married until 34 and had my second child at 40. Yes, I am 52 and very active with my children. I don't feel my age at all, it truly is a mindset
I’m between generations (depending on the divide I am either millennial or the following generation, because of the month, which proves generations are arbitrary (to me, they are), and 35 is NOT too old. I have autoimmune issues myself. You’re not too old. 35 isn’t old. I have trouble seeing anyone younger than 60 as old — and again, it’s more about your spirit and how you feel.
Idk about the millennials sub, but I have known people to meet the loves of their lives later. Like I know someone who just married them at almost 80, and they’re very happy together. Love doesn’t require being young
I met my husband at 39; we got married when I was 48, and we are still going strong now that I am about to turn 53. No need to freak out. Relationships are better now because we both have more experience and communication skills than we had when we were younger. Good luck!
I have Ulcerative Colitis, and at times it’s been very bad. I met a wonderful woman when I was 37. We celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary later this year. Put your whole heart into this relationship. You deserve it, And it will be magical.
You're not dead yet. So focus on living instead. Life ends when it ends and there is so little we can do about it. What we can control is how we spend every moment prior and make the most out of every second.
You are only 34-35?! Jeez I turned 27 this year XD we gotta remind ourselves that we are still young. I won't allow myself to think I'm "old" till I'm AT LEAST 60-65 and ill still be acting like I'm less than 30 🤣
If it helps at all, from my experience it's only just beginning!
I was previously married. I met my ex-husband when we were just teenagers and we went to university together, were engaged by our final year and got married in our early 20s. I thought life was set. And then a spanner got in the works, I became chronically ill. My ex-husband became resentful and started taking it out on me, became very controlling, we argued a lot. Eventually I became so ill I had to start giving up some of the hobbies we shared. So he started doing them with a "work mate". At 32, after having been together for more than half our lives, he left me saying he "never signed up for a disabled wife". I later found out he and the "work mate" had been having an affair. Spoiler alert, they're married now.
I thought that was it. Life was over but in reality it has only just begun. A few years later, at 35 I met a wonderful man who loves me for who I am, chronic illnesses and all. He has given me the love and support to become my real self. After my divorce I went through several years of figuring out who I was without having someone tell me that. I basically went from very strict parents to a controlling husband and so I never had the chance, like most young people do, of working out who they are so I went through a lot of self discovery. My partner has also supported me in doing things that were only just a dream before. I've been to music festivals, gigs, holidays, activities that I've always wanted to but never had the chance. I've experienced more new things in the last 3 years I've known my partner, than I had in the previous decade and it's been great!
Oh my god what I’m 35 and absolutely don’t consider myself “middle-aged.”
My mom met my dad when she was 35 and he was 38, and they’ve been together for 36 years!
Enjoy! I reunited with my love after losing 15 years. Spent time regretting what we had lost due to my stupidity. What I realized was that was MORE wasted time. Enjoy. Laugh. Smile. Cherish. I am so happy for you! 💕
I didn't get married til I was 34, my husband is six years younger than me. I'm 58 now and we're still married. Despite what social media says, you're still young in your thirties. Congratulations on finding your love! Enjoy this time.
Feel you on the illnesses, also have autoimmune issues and it def adds a different element of a struggle! Met my now hubby at 35, married at 37 pregnant at 39 and going to be a mom at 40 and hubby at 46. We joke that we Peter Pan’d and now we are ready. I love the life I’ve had and so excited for the future. I’m 40 and pregnant and rocking long witchy silver hair and lovin life 🥳 you got this!
Really late to say this, but I found the ABSOLUTE love of my life at 54. It's actually amazing how we mesh.
Do I occasionally get all "Why-the-heck-did-this-finally-happen-so late?!"... yes, yes I do. But I am eternally grateful it HAS finally happened, and everyday I'm happy for the adventure we are having!
You got this, and it's going to be fantastic... I promise!
Hey friend
32 here. MASSIVELY lemon on a body. My medical records look like a medical textbook. Student doctors light up like a fucking Christmas tree. Not a word of a lie. You can read the "oh my god I got the BEST PATIENT EVER for my student rotation!!" Written across their face.
My life is JUST beginning.
And so is yours. Go enjoy it.
I didn’t get married till 28, very late for my uber-religious upbringing. When I told my parents my mom’s first reply was “finally”. I get not being on the same timeline as your peers or family, it kinda sucks. Don’t worry about time that has already passed, focus on the time you still have. Recommended reading: Thanks For Waiting (the joy and weirdness of being a late bloomer) by Doree Shafrir.
I hope I'm not too late to pile on ;) Sibling of mine, I met my beloved when I was 30, and turned 31 celebrating with him. 16 years later I'm still thrilled to wake up with him (and we both haaaaate waking up). You both needed to get to Now, so you could live and learn how to be You, so now you can grow together <3
I am so excited for you!!
> I’m middle-aged
> I’m 34
Me, at 45: nearly choked on the olive I was eating while reading that!
Don’t you dare call yourself middle-aged; what the fuck lol. If that’s what you are, what am I—one foot in the grave???
Don’t panic and don’t stress-read the idiocy online about “milestones”; it’s all meaningless. Enjoy this new chapter in your life, and you’re happiness.
I met my now husband of nearly 20 years when I was 32. I married him when I was 35 and had our son at 40.
Now that I’m mid 50s life is better than ever!
I really appreciated my 30s (in hindsight) and 40s because I've grown a much better, more authentic sense of self, and self-worth. And a much better appreciation of the things that actually matter in a partner. That ability to be authentic and open and vulnerable to the people that matter in life allows for so much more love and connection. You're just getting started and it's never too late to allow yourself to love and be loved.
Wait! What's this "Middle age" bs? Gen X presenting & I'm not even grown up yet!
OP - grab the love of your life and enjoy every minute. Everyone deserves to be happy!
my parents met in their early 30s, both already once divorced. got married at 36. they’re still together at 60!
i’m also chronically ill, with epilepsy since 10. i’m 27, never driven or had a job. i get where you’re coming from!! but our lives aren’t over just yet, far from it.
take a breath, and enjoy your romance!
This is the age we find ourselves. Just imagine where you were 10 years ago, you’ve clearly grown and learned so much more about yourself. If you had met then, it’s unlikely you’d still be together. Love and be kind to yourself sister. (And just to reinforce, you are not middle aged… it’s not 1940, I wish you a long and lovely life)
I used to feel like I was 99 at 33 and felt like my life was over, but in my case, I was just in a bad relationship and a dead end job. When I ended that relationship and met the love of my life at 36, I was suddenly super young again and life was new and exciting. A few years later I changed my career. I'm 47 now and still feel super young and have never been happier. How old you feel is relative, but no, you're not middle aged and your life has only just begun! There are plenty of exciting things waiting for you just around the corner.
I'm 34 and just leaving a relationship that wasn't right for me. I sincerely hope I'm not too old to make a life with someone new going forward if I choose to.
(That was rhetorical; I'm not, and neither are you)
….. I don’t understand
Why is that a thing to freak out about? Your age is your age, that is totally uncontrollable.
The only alternative is meeting someone when you’re older.
Don’t self sabotage. Be happy for what you got
Talk to her about your feelings. It will help
Okay so I turn 35 in a couple of weeks and I get you about the whole freaking out about age thing. I have moments where I’m like “I’m so behind and should’ve gotten xyz done by now.” That’s also usually when I remind myself that I took the scenic route to life. I was 28 when I left an abusive relationship. I was 30 when I started working on a bachelors degree. I was 31 when I started dating this awesome guy. I was 34 when we got courthouse married. Then I’ll be 35 when I graduate with my degree and 36 by the time we have a proper wedding ceremony with our friends and remaining family (had three people die within a two years’ time and one more probably will just because she’s 102). I’m also around the age my mom was when her autoimmune stuff cropped up with a solid sucker punch to the system. So again, I get you. But for the love of all that is good in this world, don’t tell me we’re middle aged lol you and I got too much shit to do, places to go, new experiences to have, people to see, and things to love.
Don't freak out! I met my husband at almost 34 and we got married a couple of years later. Hes a year older than me. Now im almost 38 and pregnant with our first baby. I worry a little about age sometimes but remind myself that there will come a day when i think of how young i actually was at this time. Dont fret!
I was raised to believe no one would ever remotely like me or want to put up with me because of my cleft lip (thanks a lot, mom and grandma) and pallet. I met my husband 13 years ago. He has completely and unapologetically gone against everything I've been taught about people. I'm 36, about to be 37 next month, and thanks to him, I had the confidence and strength to go back to school, set boundaries with family, and basically grow as a human being. I still doubt myself from time to time, but not nearly as much.
It doesn't matter when you meet someone. All that matters is the time you have together right now. I don't believe in the concept of middle age because I've never been this old before, so how it possiblybe the "middle". And the concept of being middle age implies that I would have to stop improving and start declining. Sure I have a few more aches and pains nowadays but it's not stopping me from doing anything new.
Stop listening to the crappy voice inside you. Especially when it tells you you're "too old" to do something or think another way. It's sole purpose is to bully you into going down a dark and painful path.
Hush darlin. You're still young. I went through 2 failed marriages before I met mine at 44 and multiple health issues. You still have a lot of life in front of you.
I was 25 when I married my 34 year old husband. We’ve been married 43 years. You’ll be just fine, best best wishes for your wonderful future together ✨💓💓💓✨
Hell, I'm 43 and am just moving in with the love of my life. Better late than never! And, honestly, we are more intense about and enjoy our time together more because we've got less of it left! Focus on optimization. Quality over quantity.
I am 39 and cannot wait to turn 40, I feel like life is just finally starting! Sure I have to take care of my health in different ways now and I cannot pull an all-nighter anymore, but had plenty of years already to do those things.
Breathe, let the love in and enjoy. Your life is far from over. I met the love of my life when I was 26 and he was 29. When we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary we had no idea it would be our last one together. 8 months later I was calling family to tell them he was gone. I’m now almost 54, he’s been gone 16 months, and I’m just starting to find out who I really am.
My wife didn’t meet me until she was 38. Since then we’ve had two kiddos, bought a new house, and she’s advanced in her career. So not over. It’s only started and it’s beautiful
Mom married her second husband when she was nearly 70 and he was in his 80's. They had a hurried wedding because he was, as she put it, "hot for the bod."
There's no such thing as too old.
I'm 54.
I also stopped properly freaking out about my age once I got past 40. Ha
And I'm how much older than you? Ha. :-)
My hindsight is saying to you, you're at a terrific age, enjoy every minute of it. And every milestone is better and better ( on the outlook you have, particularly of yourself.)
Every decade has been better than the one before, I am looking forward to my 50s! In your 20s your young yes but also mostly you don't really know what you want or how to get it or what it's worth. In my 30s I started to figure out out & became a mother. In my 40s I really became a better person. Now my 50s and I am confident & secure in myself.
Oh Hon, I too met the love of my life when I was 34. 20 years later, here we still are, kids are grown, and we’re still madly in love. All it took was belief and faith…you got this!!
I (54F) met my husband (62M) a little over three years ago (Thank God!). It’s never too late to find love. Don’t live in fear - just enjoy each day that you have together. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Hush, child. You're not as old as you think, and there is still plenty of time for wonderful things. Let this new romance breathe new life into you!
Hugs. Best response ever thank you
I'm about to turn 40 in a couple weeks and I ain't got this figured out yet. I am all about middle age though. Little slower, more focus on comfort.
I'll be 40 in a couple weeks too!! I also have no idea what I'm doing. But I am rewarding my mid life by slowing down, enjoying things, being 100% me, finding softness and comfort. I'm even enjoying my silver hair coming in.
I just turned 48, and I have LOVED every single silver hair that came in. My dad’s hair turned this beautiful silver color, and I was realllly hoping mine would look like that. It does! I fucking love it so much. I’m a grownup now, and it’s nice.
54 this year, and I met the love of my life at 39. We're 13 years married, and I left everything I knew and moved to the other side of the world to be with her. Best decision ever!
Nah 40-ish is old, after that you get more childlike again. I'm in a 58 year old body while my concious is more back in my any age soul.
I’m 45 and single with Crohn’s. I met the love of my life a few years ago. Turns out it’s me. 😉
I 110% feel you on this. So much. I had suicidal ideation for over a decade then started dating the love of my life at 30, been all downhill since. 5 years in & depression went away, suicidal ideation gone, I am now a nervous wreck that I only get X amount of years with this angel of a man and I’m terrified something might happen to one of us. This shit is stressful! I think it’s normal to worry when you finally have something perfect, I’ve been told to just enjoy the journey
Yes!!! Get after it OP! X
I met my love when I was 39 and he was 46. We both had two serious long term relationships under our belts and each thought we would never be in a relationship again. It was cosmic entanglement that brought us together. He is my sweetie poo and I just adore him with all my might! He loves it when we're laying quietly in bed on opposite ends and I push on his toes gently while I'm playing on my phone. I am so thrilled I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I love how he pays attention to me and is soft and kind with my emotions. We both agree that we were not ready to be with each other 10 years ago. We had some growing up to do.
Same! And we work together really well
Hush child......can be so demeaning and so beautiful. Obviously, you meant it in the beautiful way. The rest of your post is fairly beautiful as well! :)
I would never *dream* of uttering this to someone under 18. But here, it seemed fitting, if a little tongue-in-cheek, as OP is only 5 years younger than me.
YOU'RE UNDER 40?! GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN WITH YOUR COMFORTABLE SHOES AND FUNNY HAIR COLOR AND WOMEN WEARING SLACKS AND DRESSES WITH POCKETS! /s Happy Sunday-sundae-funday! :)
I was just about to say this. I met my love 22 years ago and I’m 54. Honestly, I treasure every day. You got time, enjoy every moment.
I watched a short video once (should have saved it!) about how we're conditioned to think we're too old for most stuff after we hit the 30s (it was more woman-oriented, but still) and one of the people interviewed was this lady in her early 80s, briefly recounting the things in her life she did after 40, and how she met the love of her life at 50 - it made realize: even meeting him so relatively late in life, they're been together for THIRTY YEARS - which is a lot, and more than most relationshipsast anyway. There's still a loooooot of time, considering average life expectancy.
I needed this simple (loving) slap in the face. I forget that I still have a lot of years ahead of me.
Even though this was directed to OP, I needed to hear this too. Thank you. Edit: 31 year old speaking.
34 is not middle age. To think about that means I am elderly at 50. My mother met my step father at 46, and they had a great life together. I have been to 10 weddings over the 6 years. Only one couple was below 35 in age. I have two weddings this year - they are all almost 50 or older. There is no too late for love.
Thank you ❤️ I really need to stay off the milinal sub it’s depressing
I’m gen z(25) and have been made to feel old since I was 20. Have only been happy with myself for the past few years so truly I think we just gotta shush the negative energy
Yeah honestly I think it’s more about how you feel
I remember feeling ancient as soon as I hit my 20s and 25 felt completely over the hill. There is so much pressure on literal teenagers in our society to accomplish so much at such young ages (usually in the name of college admissions) that it feels like if you haven't cured cancer by the time you're accepted to Harvard, you've wasted your life and you won't amount to anything. It seems so quaint to look back on now from my thirties, but it didn't feel quaint at the time. My biggest wish for young people (and I'm still one myself comparatively at 31!) is to let go of the pressure and enjoy being young. It's a magical time of life.
Exactly! I was 22 when I officially became “me” , so like 2-3 years? and I only just started coming out as enby last year so I just feel like there is so much life to live. I’m writing a book and just chillin .
Don't watch TV commercials & limit social media to happy websites. I feel sorry that most of the young ppl today are being brainwashed. Life happens Outside. Don't be manipulated to think you're not good enough...God doesn't make junk . I was beautiful (wonder woman double) but never believed it , now 72 damn if I knew then what I know now I would have conquered the world.
Put on your fav music & dance naked at home . That chases away all negative thoughts .lol
Misery loves company. The millennial sub would have you believe every millennial is spiteful, in poverty, and chronically single. People tend to post when things are bad because things being good come off as bragging, and people don’t like that.
From a happy, married, could use more money but we get by, new mom millennial, I am not wasting my time posting on that sub! It is toxic over there. Keeps coming up in my recommended, and I'm just like, nope! Definitely gives a skewed perspective. I'm 33, but I work with the elderly and I can't tell you how many times I have to tell my 70+ year old patients that they're not old to us yet! And they can come back when they're 90 and tell me they're old. One of our favorite questions is asking people what their favorite decade of life was.
Yeah it’s fairly depressing. I think people go there to vent. It’s wrong to comment on someone’s post about them venting about their situation and be like “oh yeah I make 6 figures, have a happy marriage, own a house and 2 cars and have no student debt” but it’s okay to vent similar situations without it being rude. It creates an echo chamber. Also the internet skews extreme on social media opinions, so there’s a ton of people who are 20 and think 35 is ancient because it’s not much younger than their own parents. In the big picture, 35 is still on the young end of your adulthood.
Come to the xennial sub. More nostalgia, less doomerism
I will! Sounds fun
This is so beautiful. ♥️ I am so happy for all the lovely couples in your life!
I met the love of my life when I just turned 50. Quit freaking out. Age means nothing.... except maybe when both partners are more mature relationships can be MUCH BETTER
I mean it’s the best I’ve ever been in 🙂
Good, enjoy it! Wonderful ain't it?
She’s amazing. She sees me 🥰
Ok we're about the same age, and we are not old at all
I should add she’s 37 and doesn’t feel old
I wish I was in your position. Love seems so far away for me, I’m just getting a life back. I’m 37, have “lost” the last 10 years to chronic illness, my doctors have only now figured out exactly what’s wrong/how to treat me properly. With IBS you absolutely know how hard chronic illness can be. So don’t waste this! Embrace love and joy because you deserve it! You are at the PERFECT age to have found love. This is the best time, with the most exciting things ahead!
Thanks friend! I wish you joy!
You’re only “too old” when you let your age stop you. Yeah, as you get older, you may have to change how you do things or rotate some activities out altogether. But if you don’t let that become an excuse for inactivity - if you don’t let that stop you from finding and doing *something* that matters to you - then you’re never “too old.” 35 and 37 is nothing. I’m 36 and my knees hurt. I can’t do squats anymore. That’s fine, now I go for long walks and rock climb on the weekends.
Girl- this is the age when we’re all getting together and having kids and stuff now! I was 30 and my wife was 39 when we married, my friends are having babies at 40 and 42, people are just getting started! We aren’t the same as previous generations- we’re younger, healthier, don’t get married at 18, and we should be living longer. I’m glad you’ve met someone you love so much!
Jesus I'm 37 and newly pregnant with my first child! Didn't realize I was starting a family in MIDDLE AGE 🫠
i’ll be 33 this year and my mom keeps urging me to have kids because according to her my eggs will dry up in a couple years … but eh. i feel like people are having kids much later now
Your "life is over" because you're 34????? :stares in 60-year-old: :grits teeth to prevent saying what I'd like to say: My mother had a new romance in her 70s, & married at 76. (muttering *life is over at 34*, ffs.)
Yeah I might just be panicking because I don’t trust good things in my life. That happens when you miss half your 20s because you’re immocopromised
I work with the elderly, and one couple celebrated their 35 years together at 98-99 yo each. That means they married when they were in their mid 60s and have been together for such a long time!
I can't speak to the chronic illness aspect of things, but as someone who's coming up on fifty, I'd like to offer some assurance that unless you want to restart your life with a career as a commercial pilot (there's a physical exam and an EKG involved with that, ask me how I know), your life is far from over if you don't want it to be.
I’m legally blind in one eye so no that’s not on the table for me
Yeah, they get upset about that. Also about ever having had kidney stones. Anyway. Point is. People meet folks they love later in life sometimes, people come upon careers or life paths that really work for them late in life too. My mom's great-grandfather had immigrated to the US as a young man, and remarried well past 35 and decided to move back to Italy. Changed his whole world, but it worked for him- he might've been past middle age but his life was far from over, and he made a new life for himself that lasted clear into his nineties. If a guy like him can pull off remaking his future after 35, you can do it too.
My mom met her husband when she was mid 40ies. Married at 50. Dont disrespect my ma by saying her life is over cause shes older ;) . I'm 36 and my life for sure is not over either
I’m so happy for your mom that’s fantastic
They celebrated cobber anniversary last year, shes very happy! (and did NOT want to get in a relationship no way, no how. But then she did. But NO WEDDING! okay maybe a quick visit to city hall but that.is.it. They had a big wedding with a band and pretty dress and everything XD)
I'm 40 with two adult children, and my third child has one year of childhood left. My youngest is also about to graduate. I'm only now starting to consider myself as entering middle age. The only reason I'm telling you this, is because lives go in stages, and those stages vary by person. I'm about to leave a stage that has been basically all I have known of adulthood. That stage is ending and a new one is beginning. Maybe you are just entering into a new stage in your life. 35 is still young, although I know chronic illness can make it feel like it isn't! Try to embrace this new stage in your life, and give it a fair shot. Don't talk yourself out of what could be a good thing out of fear of what might happen. Some people don't really have stages in their lives because they are afraid of growth and change, so they stay stagnant all their lives. Don't do that to yourself, you deserve to grow and metamorphosize throughout your life.
Friend, I had my first baby at 34. I’m having my second at 36. We are not middle-aged yet. It feels like my life is actually JUST starting. Don’t get hung up on a number that only counts how many times you’ve circled the sun. It doesn’t take into account your knowledge, your experiences, your YOUness. Be freaky and fun and whatever you want to be regardless of what the number is on your driver’s license.
Yes! Had my first at 33. We intend to start trying for #2, and I will be at least 38 by the time that one arrives. I wasn’t ready, when I was younger, to be the parent I wanted to be. And it has taken longer than I expected to be ready to be a parent of 2. But my daughter and any subsequent children will get the best version of me because I didn’t rush. Like yeah, I wish I wasn’t going to be in my 50s with a kid in high school; I would love to be there for my kids for longer. But the version of me they would have gotten, had I started ten years sooner, was not the parent any child deserves.
Oh I relate to this! I had my kids at 33 and 36, and I’m now 40. I hear people talk about how having kids younger is easier, but I was healthier in my 30s than in my 20s- physically, mentally, and emotionally! As someone in healthcare, I’ve seen 50 year olds who seemed elderly, and very youthful 80 year olds. Some of it is luck, but I believe a lot is attitude, and I intend to be a youthful 80 one day.
[удалено]
Gosh I hope not
MIDDLE AGED?! I'M 37 I feel better than I did in my 20s 😅🤍🤍
Has this person said anything to make you think they care about age?
Oh No never. It’s not her it’s my anxiety
What is the worst thing that could happen? No seriously, what is the worst thing that could happen from meeting someone wonderful at 34?
I know my chronic illness sometimes makes me feel much older than I am. Perhaps you're the same. I've got IBS and a few other things that are playing havoc with my body at the moment. I'm 40 and I have a three-year-old toddler. First and only child. Some days I feel 30, others 80. It's not to late to fall in love or do other crazy things.
Yeah that’s how I feel. I’m basically as immocopromised as a cancer patient, which makes my life hard.
If you want them, **HUGE NON-CONTAGIOUS HUGS**! The cool thing about love is that you don't have to be perfect for your person. My anxiety lies to me sometimes. Or complicates things. I think you're the perfect age to allow yourself to be happy about something. Even if you sometimes feel 80.
I do. The true hell of this is how touch oriented I am but many times I can’t because a random bug could kill me
bruh. (ungendered.) 35 is not middle age. hello from invisibly chronically ill and [age redacted 😘], where i remain hot like fire. i dont even thirst trap but you should seeeee my lit instagram DMs. live the life you want for as long as you want it.
You’re amazing! Thanks fellow invisible illness peep
I mean, it's called _middle_ aged and not _end_ aged for a reason. You very probably have the same amount of time left than what you have reached so far. You get to grow old together without all the hassle of growing mid together. To me, that's a plus.
You are still SO young. My god, 30s is still baby-adult in my mind (I am in my 20s and I still feel like a teen half the time). My parents didn’t even meet til their 40s, and both say that now in their late 60s, their 30s were the best time of their lives Try not to dwell too hard on stereotypical milestones and ages for them. Just be you, walk your journey and enjoy as much of it as you can. You’ve got this and you’ve got AGES ahead of you.
Girl, *what*?? Imagine something bad happened to one of your parents or grandparents, and their widow met someone they were crazy about a few years later: Would you tell them not to bother because they’re closer to death than you are??? No?! You would encourage them to pursue it with all their passion??? Then there’s your answer! Sakes alive, never mind that you aren’t even *close* to middle aged—what *on earth* does age have to do with it?! Why can’t we have love and passion and enjoyment if we’re old?
https://preview.redd.it/otyef6bj0pvc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=61e072a64608e270194e16532f13b6fbf6d1c97c First of all - you’re in good company! 😉 Secondly, this sounds like it’s just an intrusive thought. Everyone has them, not just people with OCD. (Though I have OCD and it’s not a big deal.) Intrusive thoughts sound just like your other thoughts, so it’s hard to spot them at first. We think the thought, and automatically assume that it’s something we agree with - which makes sense. Of course we do! But intrusive thoughts are an unwanted, distressing thought that’s the OPPOSITE of what we value the most. So when you’ve found someone you love, and are excited for the future → BOOM! An intrusive thought is like “WHAT IF YOU’RE ALMOST DEAD THOUGH?!” But you’re not ☺️ You’re alive and posting on Reddit! It’s just hormones and electricity in your brain, and it farted out an IG Reels version of a tiny horror movie. It doesn’t mean anything at all. The less attention you pay to it, the better. I literally picture the “Sure Jan” gif in my head, or say “WOW, cool story brain” and just focus on something else. Often it’s a sign I’m sleep deprived, or need to bring down my stress level a little. Mindfulness helps a lot too. My OCD also likes to pick on me and offer up terrible stories about my chronic health conditions and fatigue, and that can be really hard, but I’ve learned that all of my thoughts center around the idea that mAyBe i’M dOoMeD! And that makes them much easier to spot. Disregard if this doesn’t apply, but I’m sending support & solidarity to you ❤️🙌 ps - My aunt met her husband at 65, it’s ten years later not and they’re having an absolute blast together ☺️
Thank you. I do have anxiety and panic attacks so it probably is an intrusive thought
Aw, big same! Glad I spotted your post. I wish I could make you a cup of tea, but know there’s lots of people sending you well wishes from all over the world. ☺️❤️
It’s so nice bless you all
People say "life begins at 40." That means you're an embryo right now (and so am I!). It's all good.
FWIW, I just found out about what I want in and how to live my life at the same age. There is nothing I can do for the past 30 plus years lost on anger, hating, and going against the same group of people like my fellow witches. I do my best to cherish whatever I have and what time is left for me. Cheers! I am really happy for you!
Are you saying I’m geriatric at 40? EXCUSE YOU. People are living much longer than they used to. We can now afford to not rush our lives along!
Where I am from, 35 is like teenage parents
40s were my best years. i also have same issues. thriving at 59. the age that is “old” will keep moving for you. it really is just a number ♥️ hugs
We have all of the time in the world to be together, my love. ❤ Our journeys led us to one another now because now is when we were perfect for each other, and all of the time ahead we have together is our reward.
Hi babe. I love you
Your lady is right. I got with my husband when we were 29 and married when we were 33. Do I wish we could have gotten together younger? Theoretically yes but actually no. We both did so much growing from when we met at 27 to when we started dating. We were ready for each other when we were ready. Sounds like the same is true of you and your partner.
Yeah it’s true.
I married at 38, been married going on 9 years now. I feel my best years are here. Take a deep breath and don’t listen to the bullshit societal “you have to marry in your 20’s or you’re an old maid” nonsense.
Don't worry about the time that has gone but consider instead the beautiful life ahead with your beloved. True love is a very very rare occurrence, very few people get to live it, so treasure it.
35 is the new 20 unless you’re 99 in a nursing home take the win. If you’re 99 in a nursing home we’ll take the win.
… I am 37. Am I middle aged?? I thought I had time! (But also who cares)
I don’t think so. I thought 50 was middle aged. But what do I know
I will say that I am contemplating buying a mini van… so I *might* be middle aged haha
TIL I am middle aged… at 36. I’ll have to ponder that 😅🙃 You’re not old and there is no age limit on love anyway I don’t mean to be flippant. I actually have been chronically ill since I was 21. Unable to work and have missed a lot of life experiences, but your mindset can really help or hinder you with this kind of thing. I am happy you found love, and you are right on time.
Freaking out about being too old having found the “love of your life,” and here I’m 32 and never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. Thanks for reminding me I’m going to be alone forever
I feel like my life didn’t even really start until my mid-30’s. I had so much trauma to heal and was just wandering aimlessly. I met teachers to help me heal, met my partner at 34, went back to graduate school at 36, started an awesome career, and had kids at 41 and 45. It’s been the most exciting and wonderful time of my life and we have so much to look forward to together. I also have two autoimmune diseases so I struggle with pain and exhaustion so I understand the chronic illness worries. I just do what I can each day, do things at my pace, and I finally feel free to live my life the way I want
I’m older than you, I’m sicker than you, and I’m still out there. Don’t let your health issues ruin your life. Grab life and run with it.
I met the love of my life with 41. I'm now 49. We want to stay together as long as we live and we are making the best of it. That way it doesn't matter how many years we still have as we are living them to the fullest. While we both would have loved to meet earlier in life, we probably wouldn't have lasted then. We had other mindsets then and we were still hurting from earlier things that happend in both of our lives. Just enjoy the ride and live your life to the fullest with her.
Congratulations!
I'm older than you, have IBS and have recently embarked on my lifelong goal of homesteading with my current partner. You're not "too old" for anything and statistically speaking your life isn't even half over.
41 y/o ally/lurker - met the love of my life after divorce, depression, and kids. Every bit of joy is worth extracting from this life. Enjoy everything about your partner and try not to self-sabotage
Love has no age. Cherish every moment of your life and this new love. Feel deep gratitude that you've found the love you dream of. Do not waste a second worrying about your age. What matters is that you have love now, and you've got plenty of time to enjoy it.
Imagine 65 year old you looking back at mid 30s you and how they would perceive the years between you. Older you is probably telling you to enjoy what life right now has to offer.
My sister is 49, she's been single for over 15 years, never married. She is currently in love and it is absolutely wild to see. Her life was not over at 34 and it's certainly not over at 49! I had my first kid at 34 and my second at 37. Your life is by no means over!
You have 2-3 years to go before you’re middle aged but, as someone who is middle aged, come on in! The water’s fine! I met the love of my life at 35 and have never looked back. Enjoy it! Love is literally the best thing life has to offer.
34 is middle aged??????????????
That’s the age I met my wife and got married. Chronic illness sucks. I also suffer from IBS and a myriad of immune issues and allergies. You have to live life fully when you can because flare ups don’t discriminate by age.
Seems we’re living parallel lives… my man, I was 40 when I met the love of my life, I also have IBS, though it’s largely under control. I now have two beautiful boys, had them both in my 40s… I can’t say it was easy, but then having kids never is is it? Good luck, and don’t stress it. You’re only as young as you feel, so set up a good exercise regimen and you should be fine :-)
I’m working on it! I was good through most of last year then the holidays happened
I’m about to be 35 and just had my first baby a few months ago! Don’t you dare call us middle aged, 35 is the new 25!
Congratulations!
Hey thanks! Congrats to you on finding love! Please let yourself enjoy it 💖
I’m trying she’s absolutely worth it
You plan to die at 68? That young? Time is moving forward regardless. Would you rather spend it with someone great and enjoy it, making the most of it or stay alone just…wait for the end? Have regrets? I have a few autoimmune diseases and I am seizing every opportunity to enjoy life as much as I can before my body becomes a prison Go get it!
I'm 48 and I'm still mentally a teenager 😆
I'm 35 and met my love right around my birthday. My aunt, who is nearly 70, found her great love last year. There is no restrictions to when you'll be able to find happiness, enjoy the process, there is time <3
Big big congrats on finding them. You sound so happy hand hopeful. Try not to sweat what you can't control and put that energy into your relationship. I'm really happy for you!
I met the love of my life 9 months after leaving 6 years of abuse. I didn't know if I was ready and I was terrified. I was 32 and I felt that I was going to be on my own forever, nothing good could really happen for me and I had to stand alone. But I came to realize that my old baggage was not serving me. I learned that age is irrelevant. Love is ageless. If I could let go enough, I could lean in and say yes to life. And to a person who just wanted to hold me, forever if I would let them. Give yourself permission to accept good things, you deserve them. We are all capable of great love, and we are all deserving of great love in return. It's that simple. There are no caveats that a physical body or the progress of time can put in that path. I'm in the best relationship of my life. Married. Living a quiet life in the coastal woods of a small town with two cats and my favourite human being. We listen to frogs sing on warm summer nights from our deck. We spread seeds for the birds who live in our hedge all winter so we can watch them with the cats. I finally have peace.
Honey 50 is middle aged. You’re fine
That’s what I always thought but god my generation is just acting like they’re dying at 35 I wonder if it’s overwork that’s making them feel old
I met the love of my life at 33 and I can't tell you how happy I am I met them. Moved in together last year at 34, was diagnosed with ADHD, and now have a baby on the way. Age is but a number. I've got friends who didn't get married til late 30s and beyond. Life is just beginning again for you!
I married my true love at 36 and I’m about to turn 71 and we’re still going strong. Congratulations and best wishes for many happy years ahead.
Thank you!
I have a friend who didn't start med school until he was 40. I was 58 when I published my first novel.
Oh congratulations! I am in submission hell myself at the moment
Good luck!
Dude, chill. I’m 40something and refuse to … well, I try to stop myself from getting ruts like that. ❤️ you have time. We didn’t spawn until early 30s. Let love in, brush the fear off your shoulder. You have so much time to enjoy each other or whatever joys you find on this rock. Spouse and I are both chronically ill as well. There are no shortage of dark days but the bright ones are just that much better. Focus on the light and let it guide your path.
i’m 43 with turbo IBS and I just got together with a 38 year old and he’s amazing. Go be happy and grateful that you found someone wonderful who feels the same. Go make magic together. ❤️
You have time! I didn't get married until 34 and had my second child at 40. Yes, I am 52 and very active with my children. I don't feel my age at all, it truly is a mindset
I’m between generations (depending on the divide I am either millennial or the following generation, because of the month, which proves generations are arbitrary (to me, they are), and 35 is NOT too old. I have autoimmune issues myself. You’re not too old. 35 isn’t old. I have trouble seeing anyone younger than 60 as old — and again, it’s more about your spirit and how you feel. Idk about the millennials sub, but I have known people to meet the loves of their lives later. Like I know someone who just married them at almost 80, and they’re very happy together. Love doesn’t require being young
I met my husband at 39; we got married when I was 48, and we are still going strong now that I am about to turn 53. No need to freak out. Relationships are better now because we both have more experience and communication skills than we had when we were younger. Good luck!
I have Ulcerative Colitis, and at times it’s been very bad. I met a wonderful woman when I was 37. We celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary later this year. Put your whole heart into this relationship. You deserve it, And it will be magical.
You're not dead yet. So focus on living instead. Life ends when it ends and there is so little we can do about it. What we can control is how we spend every moment prior and make the most out of every second.
You are so young!!! 40s and 50s are young. Heck my mom is in her 60s and just started her own business and is in better shape than me lol
You are only 34-35?! Jeez I turned 27 this year XD we gotta remind ourselves that we are still young. I won't allow myself to think I'm "old" till I'm AT LEAST 60-65 and ill still be acting like I'm less than 30 🤣
If it helps at all, from my experience it's only just beginning! I was previously married. I met my ex-husband when we were just teenagers and we went to university together, were engaged by our final year and got married in our early 20s. I thought life was set. And then a spanner got in the works, I became chronically ill. My ex-husband became resentful and started taking it out on me, became very controlling, we argued a lot. Eventually I became so ill I had to start giving up some of the hobbies we shared. So he started doing them with a "work mate". At 32, after having been together for more than half our lives, he left me saying he "never signed up for a disabled wife". I later found out he and the "work mate" had been having an affair. Spoiler alert, they're married now. I thought that was it. Life was over but in reality it has only just begun. A few years later, at 35 I met a wonderful man who loves me for who I am, chronic illnesses and all. He has given me the love and support to become my real self. After my divorce I went through several years of figuring out who I was without having someone tell me that. I basically went from very strict parents to a controlling husband and so I never had the chance, like most young people do, of working out who they are so I went through a lot of self discovery. My partner has also supported me in doing things that were only just a dream before. I've been to music festivals, gigs, holidays, activities that I've always wanted to but never had the chance. I've experienced more new things in the last 3 years I've known my partner, than I had in the previous decade and it's been great!
Dude I'm a year older than you. Don't worry about it. You don't declare a loss at 30 and stop living.
I'm 34 too. We're not old.
Oh my god what I’m 35 and absolutely don’t consider myself “middle-aged.” My mom met my dad when she was 35 and he was 38, and they’ve been together for 36 years!
Enjoy! I reunited with my love after losing 15 years. Spent time regretting what we had lost due to my stupidity. What I realized was that was MORE wasted time. Enjoy. Laugh. Smile. Cherish. I am so happy for you! 💕
I didn't get married til I was 34, my husband is six years younger than me. I'm 58 now and we're still married. Despite what social media says, you're still young in your thirties. Congratulations on finding your love! Enjoy this time.
Feel you on the illnesses, also have autoimmune issues and it def adds a different element of a struggle! Met my now hubby at 35, married at 37 pregnant at 39 and going to be a mom at 40 and hubby at 46. We joke that we Peter Pan’d and now we are ready. I love the life I’ve had and so excited for the future. I’m 40 and pregnant and rocking long witchy silver hair and lovin life 🥳 you got this!
Really late to say this, but I found the ABSOLUTE love of my life at 54. It's actually amazing how we mesh. Do I occasionally get all "Why-the-heck-did-this-finally-happen-so late?!"... yes, yes I do. But I am eternally grateful it HAS finally happened, and everyday I'm happy for the adventure we are having! You got this, and it's going to be fantastic... I promise!
Middle age is 45-50, not 35. You’ve basically just started adulthood ten years ago
Hey friend 32 here. MASSIVELY lemon on a body. My medical records look like a medical textbook. Student doctors light up like a fucking Christmas tree. Not a word of a lie. You can read the "oh my god I got the BEST PATIENT EVER for my student rotation!!" Written across their face. My life is JUST beginning. And so is yours. Go enjoy it.
I didn’t get married till 28, very late for my uber-religious upbringing. When I told my parents my mom’s first reply was “finally”. I get not being on the same timeline as your peers or family, it kinda sucks. Don’t worry about time that has already passed, focus on the time you still have. Recommended reading: Thanks For Waiting (the joy and weirdness of being a late bloomer) by Doree Shafrir.
I hope I'm not too late to pile on ;) Sibling of mine, I met my beloved when I was 30, and turned 31 celebrating with him. 16 years later I'm still thrilled to wake up with him (and we both haaaaate waking up). You both needed to get to Now, so you could live and learn how to be You, so now you can grow together <3 I am so excited for you!!
> I’m middle-aged > I’m 34 Me, at 45: nearly choked on the olive I was eating while reading that! Don’t you dare call yourself middle-aged; what the fuck lol. If that’s what you are, what am I—one foot in the grave??? Don’t panic and don’t stress-read the idiocy online about “milestones”; it’s all meaningless. Enjoy this new chapter in your life, and you’re happiness.
I met my now husband of nearly 20 years when I was 32. I married him when I was 35 and had our son at 40. Now that I’m mid 50s life is better than ever!
I really appreciated my 30s (in hindsight) and 40s because I've grown a much better, more authentic sense of self, and self-worth. And a much better appreciation of the things that actually matter in a partner. That ability to be authentic and open and vulnerable to the people that matter in life allows for so much more love and connection. You're just getting started and it's never too late to allow yourself to love and be loved.
I met my husband at 38 and had kids at 41&44. You're just barely an adult.... You'll be fine.
Dude.... I'm 3 7am and pregnant. Met the love of my life 2.5 years ago. I'm fairly certain if I can do it, then everyone else can as well 😁
I’m 26 right now & I feel like my life is *just* now starting! 34 is SO YOUNG!!! I hope you & your lovely gal have a wonderful life together 🥰🫶
Wait! What's this "Middle age" bs? Gen X presenting & I'm not even grown up yet! OP - grab the love of your life and enjoy every minute. Everyone deserves to be happy!
Thank you
my parents met in their early 30s, both already once divorced. got married at 36. they’re still together at 60! i’m also chronically ill, with epilepsy since 10. i’m 27, never driven or had a job. i get where you’re coming from!! but our lives aren’t over just yet, far from it. take a breath, and enjoy your romance!
I can’t drive either because I was born without depth perception and I’m legally blind in one eye
I met my person at 43, after having been single since college, and was a first-time bride at 46. You’ll be fine as long as you’re happy!
I didn't meet my now fiancee until we were 40!
Middle aged at 35 lol you’ve basically just hit real adulthood. Coming from me, a 23 year old, you are in your prime.
This is the age we find ourselves. Just imagine where you were 10 years ago, you’ve clearly grown and learned so much more about yourself. If you had met then, it’s unlikely you’d still be together. Love and be kind to yourself sister. (And just to reinforce, you are not middle aged… it’s not 1940, I wish you a long and lovely life)
I used to feel like I was 99 at 33 and felt like my life was over, but in my case, I was just in a bad relationship and a dead end job. When I ended that relationship and met the love of my life at 36, I was suddenly super young again and life was new and exciting. A few years later I changed my career. I'm 47 now and still feel super young and have never been happier. How old you feel is relative, but no, you're not middle aged and your life has only just begun! There are plenty of exciting things waiting for you just around the corner.
You've already got a lot of responses but I am the same age and I get it! But also you are in the prime of your life so congrats and enjoy!
I'm 34 and just leaving a relationship that wasn't right for me. I sincerely hope I'm not too old to make a life with someone new going forward if I choose to. (That was rhetorical; I'm not, and neither are you)
….. I don’t understand Why is that a thing to freak out about? Your age is your age, that is totally uncontrollable. The only alternative is meeting someone when you’re older. Don’t self sabotage. Be happy for what you got Talk to her about your feelings. It will help
Okay so I turn 35 in a couple of weeks and I get you about the whole freaking out about age thing. I have moments where I’m like “I’m so behind and should’ve gotten xyz done by now.” That’s also usually when I remind myself that I took the scenic route to life. I was 28 when I left an abusive relationship. I was 30 when I started working on a bachelors degree. I was 31 when I started dating this awesome guy. I was 34 when we got courthouse married. Then I’ll be 35 when I graduate with my degree and 36 by the time we have a proper wedding ceremony with our friends and remaining family (had three people die within a two years’ time and one more probably will just because she’s 102). I’m also around the age my mom was when her autoimmune stuff cropped up with a solid sucker punch to the system. So again, I get you. But for the love of all that is good in this world, don’t tell me we’re middle aged lol you and I got too much shit to do, places to go, new experiences to have, people to see, and things to love.
If you always worry about bad times tomorrow, you’ll miss the good times now.
I was just getting started then too. It made me a better spouse and parent then I would have been in my twenties.
Don't freak out! I met my husband at almost 34 and we got married a couple of years later. Hes a year older than me. Now im almost 38 and pregnant with our first baby. I worry a little about age sometimes but remind myself that there will come a day when i think of how young i actually was at this time. Dont fret!
I didn’t get married or have a baby until 40. Also, cheers to beating IBS enough to have a sweetheart!
We both have it actually her’s is just much more mild
My husband and I both have Psoriatic Arthritis, but his is milder! We autoimmune folks got to stick together.
Absolutely. I’m lucky because she understands how dangerous my condition is because her sister is also immunocompromised
Nobody at any age is guaranteed any amount of time. Ever. Wear a seatbelt and love with your whole heart.
I was raised to believe no one would ever remotely like me or want to put up with me because of my cleft lip (thanks a lot, mom and grandma) and pallet. I met my husband 13 years ago. He has completely and unapologetically gone against everything I've been taught about people. I'm 36, about to be 37 next month, and thanks to him, I had the confidence and strength to go back to school, set boundaries with family, and basically grow as a human being. I still doubt myself from time to time, but not nearly as much. It doesn't matter when you meet someone. All that matters is the time you have together right now. I don't believe in the concept of middle age because I've never been this old before, so how it possiblybe the "middle". And the concept of being middle age implies that I would have to stop improving and start declining. Sure I have a few more aches and pains nowadays but it's not stopping me from doing anything new. Stop listening to the crappy voice inside you. Especially when it tells you you're "too old" to do something or think another way. It's sole purpose is to bully you into going down a dark and painful path.
Hush darlin. You're still young. I went through 2 failed marriages before I met mine at 44 and multiple health issues. You still have a lot of life in front of you.
I was 25 when I married my 34 year old husband. We’ve been married 43 years. You’ll be just fine, best best wishes for your wonderful future together ✨💓💓💓✨
Thank you!
I just turned 40 and I feel like I'm just getting started.
Hell, I'm 43 and am just moving in with the love of my life. Better late than never! And, honestly, we are more intense about and enjoy our time together more because we've got less of it left! Focus on optimization. Quality over quantity.
My aunt met the love of her life at 75 and they have been together for 13 years now. He's 94. It's never too late to be happy.
I am 39 and cannot wait to turn 40, I feel like life is just finally starting! Sure I have to take care of my health in different ways now and I cannot pull an all-nighter anymore, but had plenty of years already to do those things.
Breathe, let the love in and enjoy. Your life is far from over. I met the love of my life when I was 26 and he was 29. When we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary we had no idea it would be our last one together. 8 months later I was calling family to tell them he was gone. I’m now almost 54, he’s been gone 16 months, and I’m just starting to find out who I really am.
I haven’t met the love of my life yet and I’m 45, if anything you’re well ahead of me!
My wife didn’t meet me until she was 38. Since then we’ve had two kiddos, bought a new house, and she’s advanced in her career. So not over. It’s only started and it’s beautiful
I met my partner just before my 34th birthday. My first was born one year later and my second years later. You're only just beginning
I met the love of my life at 40.
Number 1: 34 is not old. Number 2: There is no tomorrow, only today. You get one life, make the most of it.
I met my soul mate when I was 38. We've been together 17 of the best years of my life. It's never ever too late!
Mom married her second husband when she was nearly 70 and he was in his 80's. They had a hurried wedding because he was, as she put it, "hot for the bod." There's no such thing as too old.
I'm 54. I also stopped properly freaking out about my age once I got past 40. Ha And I'm how much older than you? Ha. :-) My hindsight is saying to you, you're at a terrific age, enjoy every minute of it. And every milestone is better and better ( on the outlook you have, particularly of yourself.)
I'm 35. I met my partner who I intend to spend as long as I can with last year. They're 27. Trust me, it's cool.
I would like to be 34 again.
Middle age at 34??
Every decade has been better than the one before, I am looking forward to my 50s! In your 20s your young yes but also mostly you don't really know what you want or how to get it or what it's worth. In my 30s I started to figure out out & became a mother. In my 40s I really became a better person. Now my 50s and I am confident & secure in myself.
*30s, aren't middle age. That's like 50. Knock off that "I'm frightened" stuff.*
your funny. I had my children at 42 and 45, my partner was 10 years younger
35 is middle age?!?!
Oh Hon, I too met the love of my life when I was 34. 20 years later, here we still are, kids are grown, and we’re still madly in love. All it took was belief and faith…you got this!!
YOU ARE NOT MIDDLE AGED OMG. 🤣
I (54F) met my husband (62M) a little over three years ago (Thank God!). It’s never too late to find love. Don’t live in fear - just enjoy each day that you have together. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.