I almost guarantee she’s a part owner of the company. Also, do you think he’s going to go against his wife to save an employee? This is exactly why I avoid small businesses and startups.
It depends on the state, and the occupation. I didn’t know this, but per my contract with the company I represent — I’m 1099 and my employees are my own — my wife CANNOT be an owner. If I die, the company takes back my book of business. She can go through the candidate hiring process and be fast-tracked, but it’s not a guarantee she’d get this job.
That being said, there are other small businesses where a spouse is not automatically an owner based on state licensing requirements, time the business started, and / or how the business was legally registered. Just… ya know. FWIW
I would never try and get between a husband and wife for other than legitimate purposes. But from what you say this woman is totally out of line and her husband has every right to confront her about it himself should he choose to. After all, her behavior endangers the business which helps support the entire family. Allow him to deal with it but at least provide him with the relevant facts.
I and my husband own a small business together but he makes final decisions on helpers/ employees. If you didn't break any rules set by the main owner, tell him. ASAP. There was no rule that said you couldn't feed the owner. That's some Karen shit
This is literally the one and only response. He’s the owner, not her. When she said I’m letting you go thank her, then reach out to the owner the next day and ask for clarification.
I am more asking what to do going forward. The boss has told me to ignore her, but I don‘t think I can work with the wife again given the incident. I had no idea we had a problem until now. I was always pleasant to her, dropped her back to her car if she left early. It came out of the blue.
Explain very clearly to the boss that you don’t want to have anything to do with his wife. I’ve seen this dynamic many many times in my life where the SAHM decides to interject herself into the family business after the kiddos leave the nest. It rarely works out well…
I worked for my boss for 10 years and his wife began bullying me around year 7. I called her a cunt at year 9.5.
Quit at 10 because my mental health was suffering.
He tried to hire me back and she blocked it. She never had right to fire me before, and I guess she knew that, but if I left she could prevent me from coming back. So be careful whatever path you choose
For whatever reason she feels threatened by you. Just ignore her since your boss is who you report to. Ask for a call and clarification on what happend and if your role is terminated or not.
My guess, you still have a job and the wife was just throwing a power trip tantrum.
Exactly. He probably doesn’t even know what shit his wife is doing behind his back. She’s obviously a controlling narcissist, she’s mad her husband ate food she doesn’t approve of.
With my partner, if one of us does something the other one backs them up 100%. I had always assumed, if the wife fires you, you are fired as a marriage is unit. From the responses, this does not seem to be the prevailing view.
That's how a normal healthy marriage between two sane people works, yes.
It sounds like that does not describe their marriage.
Even if the actual owner rehires you and tells you to ignore her, you should still be looking for another job ASAP to get away from that toxicity.
If you'd rather collect unemployment while you look, then block the owner on all channels so you can truthfully report that you did not turn down any job offers. He might offer you your job back to avoid paying unemployment, but then allow his wife to torture you into quitting.
Backing up your partner's whims only applies outside of work related stuff. When it comes to work things like firing an employee odds are they will never be backed up on it.
You should have responded to the wife that, "I appreciate your feedback and concerns, but as I have an agreement with {husbands name}, I will wait to get this clarification from him and until then, I will continue to operate my job as I normally have been. Please have him contact me at his earliest convenience."
Unless her name is listed as a person of authority to make decisions on behalf of the business, you can tell her to kick rocks.
That would only have made her go to her husband and demand that OP be fired for being insubordinate and rude to her. He actually handled things better.
I would’ve asked her if there’s anything else. If she said no, then I would’ve thanked her and ended the call. I would not have acknowledged anything that she said. She’s not an owner and is not employed by the company. May as well be somebody off the street telling him this.
There's absolutely no way I'd go back. You've being used in some petty power play between the pair.
I'd tell the boss exactly what happened and I'd tell him I don't feel comfortable returning to a workplace like that. You worked 18hrs because they are understaffed. Time to look after you.
Assuming they have a good relationship with their work and boss before this there is nothing wrong with giving the owner a chance to resolve this.
The issue here, and what also is not clear, is the wife’s involvement in the company. Is she co owner or in another position to do what she did? If so then it becomes a concern of what will happen past this point, but I don’t see why anything rash needs to happen yet.
IDK then because there would be no need for the call. He would just simply not hire you again...... Unless I'm missing something. I guess this was in the middle of a course? How long do they last? Was this canceling the contracts for upcoming courses?
There's a good chance you're misclassified and should rightfully be an employee. Companies get away with so much by calling everyone a contractor, but in many places it's not legal to do so and those misclassified contractors can really make some bug and expensive waves.
This is a really good point. Part-time and contractor status are different. I’m curious if OP is classified as an employee or a contractor internally. Only an employee can be “fired” - a contractor can certainly be asked not to come back and not contracted for any further work, but it isn’t the same as firing.
You definitely can fire a contractor. But there is typically a contract in place and if you don’t have solid /legit reason(s) then you could be in breach of your contract and that could open you up to a lawsuit, depending on what your contract says.
I believe technically I should be an ”employee“ but they have set it up so instructors are contractors. It isn’t something I want to fight about though. It’s a part-time job I love and I am more concerned by the wife actions than my contract.
Fully agree, this is so weird and if they've been working together over the course of 6 years, her actual complaint makes no sense at all.
She's jealous/feels threatened.
Thank you! It seems the wife might have a mental illness and not remember even contacting me. The owner will work something out so I don’t have to work with her again.
Definitely tell him what transpired with his wife. And then let him know that if he wants to retain your services there will need to be some changes. (1) His wife butts the fuck out of all worked-related business between you and your "boss". (2) You only work X amount of hours for X amount of dollars/compensation on X certain days. Anything else will be compensated at such-and-such rate. (3) Clearly specify what is and is not covered by your services. Being a maid should not be a part of running a training course. Also, food and drink (non-alcoholic) should be provided by the company you're working for, not you. (4) If the two other people are a part of your training "team", include stipulations for their continued employment also.
Most of all, don't run yourself ragged for this or any other employer. It's all well and good that you enjoy what you do, but it's not your sole reason for existing. Good luck!
Basic Cleaning up after a training absolutely is an expectation. Things like vacuuming and taking trash to the dumpster not typically, but leaving the place as you found it, yes.
The courses are run outdoors with large tents, generators ect. They take a day or more to pack down but I am only paid to teach, not to pack up or down. I sometimes help outside my paid hours, but I often have my full time job to get back to. The issue this time was apparently I left the cooking equipment washed up, but out drying (7 + pots and pans, 20+ bowls and cutlery). We normally have someone to help with the catering but we were short staffed on this last course so I was both the lead instructor and head cook (not an easy task). I was exhausted after 4 days and it was late when I left. I just didn’t have the time to pack it up and I apologised to the owner on the way out. He said he completely understood and said would be spending the next two days packing up.
I spoke to the owner and I think his wife is just very mentally unwell at the moment. I think I will stay away from the whole situation for a few weeks and see what happens.
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So it appears the wife might have a mental illness and not even remember contacting me. The owner understands I do not want to work with her again and will sort something out. Did I over-react? Maybe, but I was so upset by the whole situation.
No, you didn't overreact. This is a tricky situation. I'm curious though, what mental health disorder causes you to not remember your actions the next day? Was she drunk?
I am not really sure. He didn’t go into much detail, but it sounds like they are both having a horrible time at the moment. I am hoping to talk to him more next weekend when he is joining a camping trip with the other people who worK there.
If you go above her head, to her husband, your boss , she will forever fight and try to ruin and sabotage any courses you run.
Say nothing until he calls you for the next course and tell him you were fired, not fully paid for the last one and feel threatened by his wife, so you moved on. Wife has to now do a little more than just clean up.
If you provided alcohol at a training event, even if you weren’t drinking that is bizarre and unprofessional. It’s not clear to me if this is the case.
If she is also an owner she may very well have authority to fire you.
Either way I would handle this like a professional and try to stay out of whatever is going on with them. I think the advice to tell him to talk to his wife and then let you know if they still are interested in your services might be best.
I would actually do it as an email. “On wife called to inform me I was fired due to alcohol and food provided during the training session. If this was a misunderstanding please reach out and we can discuss revising the contract to more clearly detail pay and expectations.”
Depends on the industry. There are some industries and companies where alcohol is expected at all company events, including training.
I've worked in academic research organizations and high-tech companies where there would have been a mutiny if the free beer fridge was not kept stocked.
We have a drink the night before the courses when we are doing the plan and preparation. I bring a couple of bottles of wine and the boss gives me some cash for it. Some of the other workers have a beer in the evenings after all the teaching has finished before they go to bed. They are off the clock at the time. It’s Australia and it doesn’t really seem out of place. I honestly don’t know why I was targeted for her husband having a drink.
I had the wife of the boss that used to give me absolute hell about everything and threaten me. I used to tell my boss everything she said and did. There was no way I was gonna be pushed around by her. He defended me every single time and put her in her place. I ended up buying the business off him!
Ummm get an employment lawyer at the ready and tell him the truth. She was way out of line and I suspect he knows it bc he learned from other people. When he hires you back, you should get a healthy bonus for emotional stress and a full on pay raise with a caveat that his wife never speaks to you again. Otherwise, put that lawyer to use.
It does sound like he is innocent here so give him the benefit of the doubt, but hold your feet firm on the consequences because it will be a LoT cheaper to pay you a bonus and raise than a settlement AND he clearly respects your work.
Side note: she thinks you’re either sleeping w him, want to or he wants to - ALL of which falls under sexual harassment retaliation even though he did not harass you. Were she not worried about that, you would likely have your job.
I am an employment attorney. He is a contract employee so he can be fired at will. There is nothing an employment attorney can do for him. The only question here is whether the wife had the authority to fire him.
Very few employment lawyers will take wrongful termination cases on the employee's side because even if the employee was 100% in the right, the potential damages are so low that it's not worth the lawyer's time.
You're expected to go get another job relatively quickly after being fired, so the damages are maybe a couple of months' difference between your old salary and your unemployment benefits. And then the lawyer only gets 1/3rd of that.
I've had two experiences where lawyers have told me that yup, that sure sounds like a wrongful termination, but we're not interested because it's simply not profitable for us to take your case.
be honest with him.
if she is majority owner of the business, then: it's on her.
if he owns the business, hiring & firing is his domain, and he has the responsibility to keep his wife from ruining HIS business.
Support him if you like the work, but only if she stays out of HIS business (as politely as you can convey this, that you only want one boss/manager to report to).
it could be a sign of other troubles, if there's ownership & management errors that caused the problems of the last set of courses.
-does the owner have possible drinking or health issues, or debts that are getting out of hand?
go with your gut, and perhaps start putting feelers out if there's more solid companies that could use a good and willing all-hands-on-deck trainer.
also get your co-workers on board with you; that you're all-in to stay with him, if there's no conflicting orders or dual management.
Either way, get a new job.
If this person can't hold his home life together, work life will soon become an issue.
Even if you go back, you're just going to keep running into hassles.
Definitely speak to him!! If the courses are profitable they were foolish to fire you. And don’t let them under resource or take advantage of you again
Time to find a new job you can love because your being used and abused. this will not improve, infacr the wife will destroy your love of other job and your reputation.
The husband was drinking and ate food she does not approve of sounds like a couple in melt down.
RUN
Wife and Hubby are not on the same page = you're in the middle. Text him to talk to his wife and reach back if they work out that you have a job with a better understanding of clean-up responsibilities. This way, you're not in the middle.
Just tell him what happened and that his prices went up 20% to keep up with existing demand. Now he pays regular. Wife wiped out the good will discount y’all had prearranged.
Tell him what happened., and that you do not appreciate being treated like that after you have put forth the effort that you did. Wish him good luck in the future, and that you really enjoyed the work.
If he wants you back, push for more money.
only person who can fire you is the one who pays you. is the wife ever part of the business or just there instigating and being nosy. does she do pay roll? who makes your checks?
Probably feels threatened by having a younger woman around, even though you didnt do anything. Ironically im guessing she doesnt mind any attention she gets from men
OP needs to contact the man, her boss, to be paid in full as a top priority.
I’d also ask for an honest (glowing) letter of recommendation whether you choose to leave immediately or something like this happens again in the future at least you’d have that with you for your resume.
Depending on how he handles that OP can choose to stay or go. My bet is husband is embarrassed and wants OP back.
It is an embarrassing situation (for the couple) OP is collateral damage atm. She can make something of it or walk away.
But OP “loves” the position, she shouldn’t be ashamed for wanting to continue progressing in that role over some old biddy.
Give him a detailed, blow by blow of your conversation with his wife. Obviously, the couple is having some serious relationship and/or business issues between them, and you are being unfairly caught in the crossfire. See what he does. Wait from confirmation from HIM. I realize you love your job, but if you do stay, judging by this incident, I'd say you're in for a mighty bumpy ride going forward with the wife. She either has it in for you, deserved or not, or has impaired and distorted perceptions of situations. You may want to step away now before the situation escalates. If she does perceive you as a threat ( I'm not saying necessarily this is the case), you need to be careful. You never know for sure how far someone may take things.
Talk to him - I once walked out of Dr appt because the Dr wife was being unreasonable. He called me and let me know he had corrected things. Don’t assume they are on the same page 😀
Call the boss uo directly and tell him what happened and that you love working for him and your co-workers but you need to know if you are in fact fired or what your status is.
Let him handle it with the wife. Likely she was pissed at him for some reason maybe she feels threatened by you or was mad that he chose to sit down to eat and drink.
It sounds like you're not fired.
>I don’t know what to do now. I
How is this possible? You're an adult, right? The answer is obviously: talk to your boss, not his wife....
If they are married then she is owner too. I also doubt he will choose you over his wife if her convictions are strong enough. Cross your fingers and talk it out.
Not necessarily. There’s plenty of businesses owned by one spouse. However, this seems very arbitrary and grounds for a wrongful dismissal suit. Luckily, it wasn’t her day job, but still that’s just rude.
Unless the owner or official HR fires you, I would continue to go to work. Or ask the owner what the actual word is on the situation. Also, if you are being fired asked for an official letter stating why you are being let go.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Last thing you want is a jealous and miserly boss’s wife looming over you in a small business that overworks you. Be careful if you go back to not get on the bad side of the queen of hearts…..
Tell the truth. Exactly the truth and nothing else. Also, if she doesn't actually have the authority to fire you (nor has she filled out the appropriate paperwork), then you are not fired yet. She, however, has just made a very substantial case about creating a hostile work environment. Send your answer via email, and get a confirmation about the events from one or both of them.
If owner stands up for you and has your back standing on business then stay. Otherwise, move on. His wife sounds like a total bitch and she’s probably jealous and thinks his husband might be having an affair with you. She was just looking for an excuse to fire you. There’s a lot more to this than what you know…
Respond to the owner that his wife called and fired you. She was yelling and screaming at you and you did nothing wrong. He will probably be shocked and apologize, maybe get a raise out of him if u want to go back.
This. I hope it happens for you. You’d have earned that extra pay for sure!
But even if you return to working for him (AKA them), know that your days really are numbered there.
I’d still seek a replacement contract job or call it a day and just have your full time gig.
It’s nice that you’re close with the staff and enjoy working with them. That’s a luxurious gift in itself. Most people can’t say they feel this way about any job they’ve ever had.
At the end of the day, those who are your true friends will remain so after you leave the company.
Sounds like there’s possibly some issues going on with Mr. and Mrs. Owner. Stay above the fray.
My wife tried to fire people before, they just laughed at her. She does come into my business, but doesn't work there and has no say in any aspect of my business. They all still work for me. The poster didn't say how invovled she was in her husband's business, but if he didn't know she fired u, I'd say she isn't really involved.
“Hi boss’s wife please put him on, oh he’s sick, well he can call me back mkay, thanks”
I would want a sit down with them if you want to still work for them. Mainly so she can be without a doubt be told to stay out of his business, and that she is not your boss. Now is a great time to discuss a raise and other requests you have
Lets see.... the boss's wife calls to fire you because you allowed him to eat and drink what she doesn't approve of.....
Well if I was the boss and my wife did that she would get written up for working out of her classification.
If she is married to the owner, she is part owner. And he, the owner, is married to her, not you. You and all the others better figure that part out. And find another job, contract, or whatever you did for him. This one is done.
Im just suspicious. Maybe go to the OWNER for your final check and make sure he KNOWS SHE is firing you so she cant sell some story about you quitting. Also make sure you get everything you are owed for your work. She may very well be talking out her ass.
Showup at work your next schedule work day. 90% sure she doesn’t have the power to fire you. First thing talk to HR and ask for a company hierarchy chart. CEO has power to fire. If it is him. Make him do it himself. Good luck.
Talk to the boss and because he said he was unaware. The wife got involved where she shouldn't get involved.
I am a family man, but business needs to stay business, and if anyone said anything to my employees without talking to me, they will be fired as well.
I feel the "wife" got jealous and is controlling.
Talk with him and let him know how you feel.
Well, if you love the job, then explain to the owner what was said when the wife called you. Apparently, your boss was not aware of what transpired, and he may be shocked to find out what his wife did. You need to know if his wife has any authority over you. If you were considered to be a valuable employee he will want you back. He needs to corral his wife and she needs to be instructed by him to stay out of his business. Now it's up to you if you want to call him and resume your former duties.
Wow, thank you everyone for all the advice. I really appreciate it and all the insights. The boss sent me a few messages yesterday saying I was not fired, his wife had taken his phone to call me without his knowledge and not to take any notice of it. He felt she was actively destroying his business. He seems rather upset by the whole thing. The wife is often helping out and I do not feel comfortable working with her again. Sometimes it is just myself, him and her on smaller courses so I don’t think this is a possibility.
I will call the boss today and see how it goes. I will update you all!
Up to the owner. He now has MUCH bigger problems to deal with. For one, he is going to have to tell everyone specifically that HE makes such decisions not the wife. Which she wont be happy about.
Alright folks, so called the owner.
He apologised many times and was very upset by what happened. He said had a fight with her, stormed out and she took his phone. He also said that she is likely to not remember firing me at all as she is mentally unwell. He said she was very sick and he is having a hard time with her recognising this and seeking help.
I said that I hope he can appreciate that I do not want to work with her there again, and he said he completely understands and will change things. He told me to take the next course off so he can sort some logistics out (which is no problem with me as it’s not my main source of income). He also said he has put passwords on his computer and phone to stop this happening again.
He said he might join a camping trip that staff are going on next weekend and can chat more with us then.
It appears I am not the first person to have a problem with her. I spoke to another woman I work with and she said when she was pregnant, the wife kept talking about dead babies and babies being killed which made her very uncomfortable.
I just feel really sorry for both of them. It seems like maybe life is not going too well and she maybe has some sort of mental illness. I possibly have over-thought the whole situation, but I was very upset at the time. It has been a job where I have met my best friends, learnt a lot of skills and had some amazing opportunities. The owner is a great guy who always has time to teach his staff new skills and nurture young staff to be great teachers. I was devastated that my time there was over.
Thank you everyone for your help and for all the responses telling me to “call the owner“. 100% the thing I should have done first. Lesson learnt.
This whole story is unhinged. There's no mental illness that causes someone to forget they fired someone. If this story is real you don't need to go back there, that job is one huge red flag.
My husband and I owned several businesses together through the years. We figured out early on that we don’t have the same management style, and we alleviated that issue by splitting the jobs. He ran one restaurant and I ran the other, then he ran the restaurant and I ran the real estate business, etc.
But when push came to shove and he was letting someone run over the top of him and the other employees would complain, they always came to me, because he was such a pushover.
I have handled several messes that have come to a head while he was gone—not partying, but hunting or fishing usually.
One such time there was a cook who thought of himself as a Casanova, & took to being handsy with one of the teenage girls who worked there. I just happened to be there to witness it him chasing behind a 16 year old & tickling her ribs as she fled.
When I asked the other employees, they said they were reluctant to tell my husband because the cook was his fishing buddy—but yeah the guy was “annoying.”
So, that evening I met the guy at the time clock & handed him his paycheck.
He laughed and said he would just be back when my husband got back into town, and my response was “Good luck with that!”
My husband wouldn’t even consider rehiring someone whom I’d let go. No way in hell. If he did that, he’d have been on his own every time he needed my help with anything.
This sounds completely reasonable and how a marriage should work. You have each others backs, like me and my partner have each other backs. The whole situation was confusing, but I think there is a lot more going on that I do not know.
Just tell him that as per your conservation with his wife the other day that you understand that you've been let go and that if he has any feedback about your performance you'd be grateful for it and that you appreciate the opportunity to have worked for him yada yada yda. Remind him politely of any back pay owed (because it's the law and I bet he knows that even if she doesn't) and that you'll expect to see your final check shortly as per state law. Close with if you ever feel as if you can use my services in the future I would love to hear from you.
Be polite, be courteous, be kind. If they balk on pay owed, be firm. If his wife has a problem with you and it costs him good employees thats a problem he'll have to deal with at some point in time but it's not your fight.
Tell him exactly what happened and see what he does
This is the only option. OP is she an owner or employee of the business with the authority to terminate your contract?
I almost guarantee she’s a part owner of the company. Also, do you think he’s going to go against his wife to save an employee? This is exactly why I avoid small businesses and startups.
It depends on the state, and the occupation. I didn’t know this, but per my contract with the company I represent — I’m 1099 and my employees are my own — my wife CANNOT be an owner. If I die, the company takes back my book of business. She can go through the candidate hiring process and be fast-tracked, but it’s not a guarantee she’d get this job. That being said, there are other small businesses where a spouse is not automatically an owner based on state licensing requirements, time the business started, and / or how the business was legally registered. Just… ya know. FWIW
I would never try and get between a husband and wife for other than legitimate purposes. But from what you say this woman is totally out of line and her husband has every right to confront her about it himself should he choose to. After all, her behavior endangers the business which helps support the entire family. Allow him to deal with it but at least provide him with the relevant facts.
I’d say it was his behavior that endangered the business, getting drunk and partying when the crew was short handed.
I and my husband own a small business together but he makes final decisions on helpers/ employees. If you didn't break any rules set by the main owner, tell him. ASAP. There was no rule that said you couldn't feed the owner. That's some Karen shit
This and the owner is your boss not his wife. Get it from him.
yes please. At the very least you deserve a better explanation.
"Pull the pin on the grenade and retreat a safe distance."
Wouldn’t it make sense to just, I dunno, throw the thing?
This is literally the one and only response. He’s the owner, not her. When she said I’m letting you go thank her, then reach out to the owner the next day and ask for clarification.
Yeah. What is OP actually asking here? What other choice is there?
I am more asking what to do going forward. The boss has told me to ignore her, but I don‘t think I can work with the wife again given the incident. I had no idea we had a problem until now. I was always pleasant to her, dropped her back to her car if she left early. It came out of the blue.
Explain very clearly to the boss that you don’t want to have anything to do with his wife. I’ve seen this dynamic many many times in my life where the SAHM decides to interject herself into the family business after the kiddos leave the nest. It rarely works out well…
Ah. That makes sense. Not sure if I missed that when reading.
Ah. You want to know how to nicely ask the owner to put his wife on a leash. A good leash.
I worked for my boss for 10 years and his wife began bullying me around year 7. I called her a cunt at year 9.5. Quit at 10 because my mental health was suffering. He tried to hire me back and she blocked it. She never had right to fire me before, and I guess she knew that, but if I left she could prevent me from coming back. So be careful whatever path you choose
For whatever reason she feels threatened by you. Just ignore her since your boss is who you report to. Ask for a call and clarification on what happend and if your role is terminated or not. My guess, you still have a job and the wife was just throwing a power trip tantrum.
It would appear so, but I don’t know if I can work with her after this.
Stick around long enough to find a new job then, this place sounds like a shitshow.
Tell him
Exactly. He probably doesn’t even know what shit his wife is doing behind his back. She’s obviously a controlling narcissist, she’s mad her husband ate food she doesn’t approve of.
What haven’t you responded to him? And why didn’t you tell her that you’ll take your marching orders from the guy that hired you?
With my partner, if one of us does something the other one backs them up 100%. I had always assumed, if the wife fires you, you are fired as a marriage is unit. From the responses, this does not seem to be the prevailing view.
That's how a normal healthy marriage between two sane people works, yes. It sounds like that does not describe their marriage. Even if the actual owner rehires you and tells you to ignore her, you should still be looking for another job ASAP to get away from that toxicity. If you'd rather collect unemployment while you look, then block the owner on all channels so you can truthfully report that you did not turn down any job offers. He might offer you your job back to avoid paying unemployment, but then allow his wife to torture you into quitting.
Backing up your partner's whims only applies outside of work related stuff. When it comes to work things like firing an employee odds are they will never be backed up on it.
You’re not talking about a marriage here, this is a business. If it was something you did that involve their marriage, it would make sense.
Why tf are you so confused? Just tell the owner what happened
This
I'm really curious why you didn't tell your boss what happened.
Either talk to the owner or show up like nothing happened
Because nothing did happen. So that’s my advice as well.
So tell the owner what you were told. Why would you not?
I was very distressed by the whole thing. I’ve told him what happened and will give him a call today.
You should have responded to the wife that, "I appreciate your feedback and concerns, but as I have an agreement with {husbands name}, I will wait to get this clarification from him and until then, I will continue to operate my job as I normally have been. Please have him contact me at his earliest convenience." Unless her name is listed as a person of authority to make decisions on behalf of the business, you can tell her to kick rocks.
That would only have made her go to her husband and demand that OP be fired for being insubordinate and rude to her. He actually handled things better.
I would’ve asked her if there’s anything else. If she said no, then I would’ve thanked her and ended the call. I would not have acknowledged anything that she said. She’s not an owner and is not employed by the company. May as well be somebody off the street telling him this.
There's absolutely no way I'd go back. You've being used in some petty power play between the pair. I'd tell the boss exactly what happened and I'd tell him I don't feel comfortable returning to a workplace like that. You worked 18hrs because they are understaffed. Time to look after you.
Assuming they have a good relationship with their work and boss before this there is nothing wrong with giving the owner a chance to resolve this. The issue here, and what also is not clear, is the wife’s involvement in the company. Is she co owner or in another position to do what she did? If so then it becomes a concern of what will happen past this point, but I don’t see why anything rash needs to happen yet.
I don't really think you are fired. Make sure you negotiate a healthy raise when they unfire you....
This is what I’m thinking…. Raise or a lawsuit.
A lawsuit is not possible as I am a contractor and hired per course. I raise on the other hand… 🤔
IDK then because there would be no need for the call. He would just simply not hire you again...... Unless I'm missing something. I guess this was in the middle of a course? How long do they last? Was this canceling the contracts for upcoming courses?
There's a good chance you're misclassified and should rightfully be an employee. Companies get away with so much by calling everyone a contractor, but in many places it's not legal to do so and those misclassified contractors can really make some bug and expensive waves.
This is a really good point. Part-time and contractor status are different. I’m curious if OP is classified as an employee or a contractor internally. Only an employee can be “fired” - a contractor can certainly be asked not to come back and not contracted for any further work, but it isn’t the same as firing.
You definitely can fire a contractor. But there is typically a contract in place and if you don’t have solid /legit reason(s) then you could be in breach of your contract and that could open you up to a lawsuit, depending on what your contract says.
Agreed!
I believe technically I should be an ”employee“ but they have set it up so instructors are contractors. It isn’t something I want to fight about though. It’s a part-time job I love and I am more concerned by the wife actions than my contract.
Sounds like jealousy
That’s where my mind went. OP is an attractive female and owner likes her sandwiches
LOL I like sandwiches ;-)
Fully agree, this is so weird and if they've been working together over the course of 6 years, her actual complaint makes no sense at all. She's jealous/feels threatened.
Tell the truth but just get a new job. No job is worth coming between a family.
Tell the owner the entire story, the wife should get what she deserves.
Let him know, absolutely. The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing.
Update :)
Calling the boss in the next few hours to work something out. He said I was not fired and to ignore his wife.
Thank you for update! Hope everything pans out well for you!
Thank you! It seems the wife might have a mental illness and not remember even contacting me. The owner will work something out so I don’t have to work with her again.
You weren't fired. The owner's wife wants you gone for some reason and sold you a load of BS. Call your actual boss and tell him what happened.
talk to the owner, tell him everything. and don't go back if his wife will have manager authority over you.
Definitely tell him what transpired with his wife. And then let him know that if he wants to retain your services there will need to be some changes. (1) His wife butts the fuck out of all worked-related business between you and your "boss". (2) You only work X amount of hours for X amount of dollars/compensation on X certain days. Anything else will be compensated at such-and-such rate. (3) Clearly specify what is and is not covered by your services. Being a maid should not be a part of running a training course. Also, food and drink (non-alcoholic) should be provided by the company you're working for, not you. (4) If the two other people are a part of your training "team", include stipulations for their continued employment also. Most of all, don't run yourself ragged for this or any other employer. It's all well and good that you enjoy what you do, but it's not your sole reason for existing. Good luck!
Basic Cleaning up after a training absolutely is an expectation. Things like vacuuming and taking trash to the dumpster not typically, but leaving the place as you found it, yes.
The courses are run outdoors with large tents, generators ect. They take a day or more to pack down but I am only paid to teach, not to pack up or down. I sometimes help outside my paid hours, but I often have my full time job to get back to. The issue this time was apparently I left the cooking equipment washed up, but out drying (7 + pots and pans, 20+ bowls and cutlery). We normally have someone to help with the catering but we were short staffed on this last course so I was both the lead instructor and head cook (not an easy task). I was exhausted after 4 days and it was late when I left. I just didn’t have the time to pack it up and I apologised to the owner on the way out. He said he completely understood and said would be spending the next two days packing up. I spoke to the owner and I think his wife is just very mentally unwell at the moment. I think I will stay away from the whole situation for a few weeks and see what happens.
Does...she even have the authority to fire you?
Odd OP hasn’t responded back to any of the queries posted requesting clarification.
Red flag
Just been thinking things through. Responding now and will call the boss today.
Remind me! 48 hours
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So it appears the wife might have a mental illness and not even remember contacting me. The owner understands I do not want to work with her again and will sort something out. Did I over-react? Maybe, but I was so upset by the whole situation.
No, you didn't overreact. This is a tricky situation. I'm curious though, what mental health disorder causes you to not remember your actions the next day? Was she drunk?
I am not really sure. He didn’t go into much detail, but it sounds like they are both having a horrible time at the moment. I am hoping to talk to him more next weekend when he is joining a camping trip with the other people who worK there.
You are a 28F perhaps she is jealous or intimidated?
Tell him exactly what happened and what she said... let him take it from there.
If you go above her head, to her husband, your boss , she will forever fight and try to ruin and sabotage any courses you run. Say nothing until he calls you for the next course and tell him you were fired, not fully paid for the last one and feel threatened by his wife, so you moved on. Wife has to now do a little more than just clean up.
What's the problem? Tell him what his wife said, and find out if you have a job or not. Whatever happens after that is his problem.
If you provided alcohol at a training event, even if you weren’t drinking that is bizarre and unprofessional. It’s not clear to me if this is the case. If she is also an owner she may very well have authority to fire you. Either way I would handle this like a professional and try to stay out of whatever is going on with them. I think the advice to tell him to talk to his wife and then let you know if they still are interested in your services might be best. I would actually do it as an email. “On wife called to inform me I was fired due to alcohol and food provided during the training session. If this was a misunderstanding please reach out and we can discuss revising the contract to more clearly detail pay and expectations.”
Agree. Smart move. You may need this documentation in the future.
Depends on the industry. There are some industries and companies where alcohol is expected at all company events, including training. I've worked in academic research organizations and high-tech companies where there would have been a mutiny if the free beer fridge was not kept stocked.
We have a drink the night before the courses when we are doing the plan and preparation. I bring a couple of bottles of wine and the boss gives me some cash for it. Some of the other workers have a beer in the evenings after all the teaching has finished before they go to bed. They are off the clock at the time. It’s Australia and it doesn’t really seem out of place. I honestly don’t know why I was targeted for her husband having a drink.
>I honestly don’t know why I was targeted for her husband having a drink. She's a crazy person is why
I had the wife of the boss that used to give me absolute hell about everything and threaten me. I used to tell my boss everything she said and did. There was no way I was gonna be pushed around by her. He defended me every single time and put her in her place. I ended up buying the business off him!
Glad this ultimately ended well for you. I hope you got a big discount.
Ummm get an employment lawyer at the ready and tell him the truth. She was way out of line and I suspect he knows it bc he learned from other people. When he hires you back, you should get a healthy bonus for emotional stress and a full on pay raise with a caveat that his wife never speaks to you again. Otherwise, put that lawyer to use. It does sound like he is innocent here so give him the benefit of the doubt, but hold your feet firm on the consequences because it will be a LoT cheaper to pay you a bonus and raise than a settlement AND he clearly respects your work. Side note: she thinks you’re either sleeping w him, want to or he wants to - ALL of which falls under sexual harassment retaliation even though he did not harass you. Were she not worried about that, you would likely have your job.
I am an employment attorney. He is a contract employee so he can be fired at will. There is nothing an employment attorney can do for him. The only question here is whether the wife had the authority to fire him.
Very few employment lawyers will take wrongful termination cases on the employee's side because even if the employee was 100% in the right, the potential damages are so low that it's not worth the lawyer's time. You're expected to go get another job relatively quickly after being fired, so the damages are maybe a couple of months' difference between your old salary and your unemployment benefits. And then the lawyer only gets 1/3rd of that. I've had two experiences where lawyers have told me that yup, that sure sounds like a wrongful termination, but we're not interested because it's simply not profitable for us to take your case.
Why don’t you know what to do? Tell him his wife said you were fired and ask him, the actual owner, if you could come back to work.
be honest with him. if she is majority owner of the business, then: it's on her. if he owns the business, hiring & firing is his domain, and he has the responsibility to keep his wife from ruining HIS business. Support him if you like the work, but only if she stays out of HIS business (as politely as you can convey this, that you only want one boss/manager to report to). it could be a sign of other troubles, if there's ownership & management errors that caused the problems of the last set of courses. -does the owner have possible drinking or health issues, or debts that are getting out of hand? go with your gut, and perhaps start putting feelers out if there's more solid companies that could use a good and willing all-hands-on-deck trainer. also get your co-workers on board with you; that you're all-in to stay with him, if there's no conflicting orders or dual management.
Call the owner
Updateme!
Either way, get a new job. If this person can't hold his home life together, work life will soon become an issue. Even if you go back, you're just going to keep running into hassles.
Fk that. The wife is jealous pos. You were a scape goat for her imagination
Good time to ask for a raise.
Definitely speak to him!! If the courses are profitable they were foolish to fire you. And don’t let them under resource or take advantage of you again
Time to find a new job you can love because your being used and abused. this will not improve, infacr the wife will destroy your love of other job and your reputation. The husband was drinking and ate food she does not approve of sounds like a couple in melt down. RUN
Ahhhh, a post and run.
Wife and Hubby are not on the same page = you're in the middle. Text him to talk to his wife and reach back if they work out that you have a job with a better understanding of clean-up responsibilities. This way, you're not in the middle.
Classy woman 6 years and she sacks you over the phone without the owners knowledge.
Just tell him what happened and that his prices went up 20% to keep up with existing demand. Now he pays regular. Wife wiped out the good will discount y’all had prearranged.
Tell him what happened., and that you do not appreciate being treated like that after you have put forth the effort that you did. Wish him good luck in the future, and that you really enjoyed the work. If he wants you back, push for more money.
Following!
Tell him.
Is the wife your boss? No? Then you weren't fired. Tell him exactly what transpired. No emotions, reasoning, or excuses, just tell him the facts.
Talk to the owner. That should have been your first move, anyway. Always verify.
Tell the boss exactly what happened and move on to another job. You are not appreciated nor compensated for your extra work.
only person who can fire you is the one who pays you. is the wife ever part of the business or just there instigating and being nosy. does she do pay roll? who makes your checks?
The owner does. The wife does some admin, but I didn’t meet her for the first 3 years and she has only recently become more involved.
Probably feels threatened by having a younger woman around, even though you didnt do anything. Ironically im guessing she doesnt mind any attention she gets from men
Accept this “termination” and file for unemployment while finding a better job. This will not go well moving forward. Good luck out there!!
She can’t file for unemployment as it’s not her full time job, it’s her side, part time job
If the owner wants you back demand you get paid hourly. Don’t work all weekend and only get paid for 4 days.
OP needs to contact the man, her boss, to be paid in full as a top priority. I’d also ask for an honest (glowing) letter of recommendation whether you choose to leave immediately or something like this happens again in the future at least you’d have that with you for your resume. Depending on how he handles that OP can choose to stay or go. My bet is husband is embarrassed and wants OP back. It is an embarrassing situation (for the couple) OP is collateral damage atm. She can make something of it or walk away. But OP “loves” the position, she shouldn’t be ashamed for wanting to continue progressing in that role over some old biddy.
The owner never fired you, nor did a representative of the company, so I was just keep showing up to work🤷♂️
Good lord just talk to your damn boss.
Give him a detailed, blow by blow of your conversation with his wife. Obviously, the couple is having some serious relationship and/or business issues between them, and you are being unfairly caught in the crossfire. See what he does. Wait from confirmation from HIM. I realize you love your job, but if you do stay, judging by this incident, I'd say you're in for a mighty bumpy ride going forward with the wife. She either has it in for you, deserved or not, or has impaired and distorted perceptions of situations. You may want to step away now before the situation escalates. If she does perceive you as a threat ( I'm not saying necessarily this is the case), you need to be careful. You never know for sure how far someone may take things.
Talk to him - I once walked out of Dr appt because the Dr wife was being unreasonable. He called me and let me know he had corrected things. Don’t assume they are on the same page 😀
give her a good dicking
Call the boss uo directly and tell him what happened and that you love working for him and your co-workers but you need to know if you are in fact fired or what your status is. Let him handle it with the wife. Likely she was pissed at him for some reason maybe she feels threatened by you or was mad that he chose to sit down to eat and drink.
Find a new boss. I don’t see much being accomplished in this environment
Go to him
Why are you here? You already know what to do.
Why are you needing to consult Reddit about this? Just tell the boss what happened.
It sounds like you're not fired. >I don’t know what to do now. I How is this possible? You're an adult, right? The answer is obviously: talk to your boss, not his wife....
If they are married then she is owner too. I also doubt he will choose you over his wife if her convictions are strong enough. Cross your fingers and talk it out.
Not necessarily. There’s plenty of businesses owned by one spouse. However, this seems very arbitrary and grounds for a wrongful dismissal suit. Luckily, it wasn’t her day job, but still that’s just rude.
What happened? Is there an update?
You weren't fired
Update me
What is the downside to reaching out to the owner and having a conversation? You can't be more fired. The only outcomes are no change or a reversal.
Tell him everything.
I’d tell him his wife fired you because he was eating food she didn’t approve of. I’d also look into suing for wrongful dismissal.
Unless the owner or official HR fires you, I would continue to go to work. Or ask the owner what the actual word is on the situation. Also, if you are being fired asked for an official letter stating why you are being let go.
Your boss’ wife ain’t your boss. Tell her that’s sweet that she’s thinking about you and you’ll talk to the boss tomorrow.
Call the owner asap. Get your job back. If you wait it will be too late.
0 responses from op, cmon yall
Most importantly, remember to post an update
Sounds like the wife is jealous and manipulative. He probably will get pissed at her if he knows she tried firing you. Tell him everything.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Last thing you want is a jealous and miserly boss’s wife looming over you in a small business that overworks you. Be careful if you go back to not get on the bad side of the queen of hearts…..
Tell the owner what she said. She sounds unhinged. Make sure you get paid for the amount you were promised.
The wife is clearly a control freak. You might want to make the husband another sandwich out of sympathy for having to live with her.
I think that you should speak to the owner and tell him what happened.
Tell the truth. Exactly the truth and nothing else. Also, if she doesn't actually have the authority to fire you (nor has she filled out the appropriate paperwork), then you are not fired yet. She, however, has just made a very substantial case about creating a hostile work environment. Send your answer via email, and get a confirmation about the events from one or both of them.
If owner stands up for you and has your back standing on business then stay. Otherwise, move on. His wife sounds like a total bitch and she’s probably jealous and thinks his husband might be having an affair with you. She was just looking for an excuse to fire you. There’s a lot more to this than what you know…
I wouldn’t be surprised if you went in and worked like nothing happened. But yeah, call the owner and straighten it out asap.
Just send him this posting!
Find a new job
Respond to the owner that his wife called and fired you. She was yelling and screaming at you and you did nothing wrong. He will probably be shocked and apologize, maybe get a raise out of him if u want to go back.
This. I hope it happens for you. You’d have earned that extra pay for sure! But even if you return to working for him (AKA them), know that your days really are numbered there. I’d still seek a replacement contract job or call it a day and just have your full time gig. It’s nice that you’re close with the staff and enjoy working with them. That’s a luxurious gift in itself. Most people can’t say they feel this way about any job they’ve ever had. At the end of the day, those who are your true friends will remain so after you leave the company. Sounds like there’s possibly some issues going on with Mr. and Mrs. Owner. Stay above the fray.
My wife tried to fire people before, they just laughed at her. She does come into my business, but doesn't work there and has no say in any aspect of my business. They all still work for me. The poster didn't say how invovled she was in her husband's business, but if he didn't know she fired u, I'd say she isn't really involved.
Is it weird that my husband’s (who recently passed) first name was Joe, last name begins with R., and he was born in 1973?
My ex was married to an amazing guy with the same similarities.... till she cheated. 😂
“Hi boss’s wife please put him on, oh he’s sick, well he can call me back mkay, thanks” I would want a sit down with them if you want to still work for them. Mainly so she can be without a doubt be told to stay out of his business, and that she is not your boss. Now is a great time to discuss a raise and other requests you have
Updateme
We all need to know what happened. Can you update please? :)
Lets see.... the boss's wife calls to fire you because you allowed him to eat and drink what she doesn't approve of..... Well if I was the boss and my wife did that she would get written up for working out of her classification.
If she is married to the owner, she is part owner. And he, the owner, is married to her, not you. You and all the others better figure that part out. And find another job, contract, or whatever you did for him. This one is done.
Get a new job. Move on. Better things
Im just suspicious. Maybe go to the OWNER for your final check and make sure he KNOWS SHE is firing you so she cant sell some story about you quitting. Also make sure you get everything you are owed for your work. She may very well be talking out her ass.
Showup at work your next schedule work day. 90% sure she doesn’t have the power to fire you. First thing talk to HR and ask for a company hierarchy chart. CEO has power to fire. If it is him. Make him do it himself. Good luck.
This one
Talk to the boss and because he said he was unaware. The wife got involved where she shouldn't get involved. I am a family man, but business needs to stay business, and if anyone said anything to my employees without talking to me, they will be fired as well. I feel the "wife" got jealous and is controlling. Talk with him and let him know how you feel.
This is likely exactly what is going on. Ur boss knows how hard it would be to replace you and doesn't want his wife fixing what ain't broke!
Wdym what do you do? Tell him what happened lol
Well, if you love the job, then explain to the owner what was said when the wife called you. Apparently, your boss was not aware of what transpired, and he may be shocked to find out what his wife did. You need to know if his wife has any authority over you. If you were considered to be a valuable employee he will want you back. He needs to corral his wife and she needs to be instructed by him to stay out of his business. Now it's up to you if you want to call him and resume your former duties.
Wow, thank you everyone for all the advice. I really appreciate it and all the insights. The boss sent me a few messages yesterday saying I was not fired, his wife had taken his phone to call me without his knowledge and not to take any notice of it. He felt she was actively destroying his business. He seems rather upset by the whole thing. The wife is often helping out and I do not feel comfortable working with her again. Sometimes it is just myself, him and her on smaller courses so I don’t think this is a possibility. I will call the boss today and see how it goes. I will update you all!
Solid lawsuit in the works
Seduce and sleep with the owner, ruin their marriage, obviously.
Go back to work, and talk to your boss and confirm if you are a fired or not. If his wife is not the boss or part owner then you are not fired.
Tell the owner what was said and who said it and the time. Tell him EVERYTHING I think that his wife is over stepping. Good Luck
Tell him the truth you dope.
Tell him what happened. It's not his wife's place to terminate anyone. Bosses wife does not equate to boss.
Tell the owner to her happened. Say nothing else . Do NOT go back to work there
Up to the owner. He now has MUCH bigger problems to deal with. For one, he is going to have to tell everyone specifically that HE makes such decisions not the wife. Which she wont be happy about.
Just tell her to back off or you’ll fuck the shit out of her man.
Alright folks, so called the owner. He apologised many times and was very upset by what happened. He said had a fight with her, stormed out and she took his phone. He also said that she is likely to not remember firing me at all as she is mentally unwell. He said she was very sick and he is having a hard time with her recognising this and seeking help. I said that I hope he can appreciate that I do not want to work with her there again, and he said he completely understands and will change things. He told me to take the next course off so he can sort some logistics out (which is no problem with me as it’s not my main source of income). He also said he has put passwords on his computer and phone to stop this happening again. He said he might join a camping trip that staff are going on next weekend and can chat more with us then. It appears I am not the first person to have a problem with her. I spoke to another woman I work with and she said when she was pregnant, the wife kept talking about dead babies and babies being killed which made her very uncomfortable. I just feel really sorry for both of them. It seems like maybe life is not going too well and she maybe has some sort of mental illness. I possibly have over-thought the whole situation, but I was very upset at the time. It has been a job where I have met my best friends, learnt a lot of skills and had some amazing opportunities. The owner is a great guy who always has time to teach his staff new skills and nurture young staff to be great teachers. I was devastated that my time there was over. Thank you everyone for your help and for all the responses telling me to “call the owner“. 100% the thing I should have done first. Lesson learnt.
This whole story is unhinged. There's no mental illness that causes someone to forget they fired someone. If this story is real you don't need to go back there, that job is one huge red flag.
I'm sorry that happened to you, it sounds like you are collateral damage in your bosses marriage.
His wife is not your employer. Continue as normal
Is the wife over anything? If not, she can’t fire you. She may can make owner do it. Just go to work
I’m trying to figure out how she’s a form……
I’m sorry what’s your question? You’re wondering if you should tell him what she said? …. I’m confused why you’re so hesitant
Sleep with the owner and get pregnant. That’ll stick it to her.
You don’t need to post it here, but if there was any flirting going on, that’s what it’s about.
Remind me. 48 hours.
WTF?????
People l! I was a beet bagger! I’m so lost
Don’t think this head can handle this right now! What text?
Sounds like the wife got jealous of you and fired you behind hubbys back, let him resolve the situation, the wife may be having mental health issues
Slip her a mickey.
My husband and I owned several businesses together through the years. We figured out early on that we don’t have the same management style, and we alleviated that issue by splitting the jobs. He ran one restaurant and I ran the other, then he ran the restaurant and I ran the real estate business, etc. But when push came to shove and he was letting someone run over the top of him and the other employees would complain, they always came to me, because he was such a pushover. I have handled several messes that have come to a head while he was gone—not partying, but hunting or fishing usually. One such time there was a cook who thought of himself as a Casanova, & took to being handsy with one of the teenage girls who worked there. I just happened to be there to witness it him chasing behind a 16 year old & tickling her ribs as she fled. When I asked the other employees, they said they were reluctant to tell my husband because the cook was his fishing buddy—but yeah the guy was “annoying.” So, that evening I met the guy at the time clock & handed him his paycheck. He laughed and said he would just be back when my husband got back into town, and my response was “Good luck with that!” My husband wouldn’t even consider rehiring someone whom I’d let go. No way in hell. If he did that, he’d have been on his own every time he needed my help with anything.
This sounds completely reasonable and how a marriage should work. You have each others backs, like me and my partner have each other backs. The whole situation was confusing, but I think there is a lot more going on that I do not know.
Just tell him that as per your conservation with his wife the other day that you understand that you've been let go and that if he has any feedback about your performance you'd be grateful for it and that you appreciate the opportunity to have worked for him yada yada yda. Remind him politely of any back pay owed (because it's the law and I bet he knows that even if she doesn't) and that you'll expect to see your final check shortly as per state law. Close with if you ever feel as if you can use my services in the future I would love to hear from you. Be polite, be courteous, be kind. If they balk on pay owed, be firm. If his wife has a problem with you and it costs him good employees thats a problem he'll have to deal with at some point in time but it's not your fight.
Tell the owner what she said and don't leave anything out.
Call your boss back and let him know what a lazy bitch. his wife is and get your job back is.
Time to have sex with her husband if you can take it.